Betrayal Trauma Recovery - BTR.ORG

When you're on the precipice, asking yourself, "should I stay or should I go?" after betrayal and abuse, it can be helpful to ask yourself questions that will guide you to safety.
Claire is on the podcast, finishing her four-part interview with Anne. Tune in and read the full transcript below.
Do I Have to Babysit My Husband?
Ask yourself: Am I my husband's babysitter? Healthy, mature, adult men do not require babysitters - in fact, they understand the entitled, controlling, and misogynistic attitudes that fuel abusive men who treat their wives like babysitters.
You may be your husband's babysitter, if you:

* Have to check computers, phones, search histories, phone histories, bank transactions for signs of betrayal because he isn't honest with you.
* Have to bail him out of legal, work, or other situations because of his inappropriate and abusive behaviors.
* Have to prod, encourage, beg, or bribe him to do basic, decent human behaviors.
* Endure his sulking, coercion, manipulation, and other forms of abuse when he doesn't get his way. 

If I Were a Billionaire, Would I Stay With My Husband?
The fear of financial insecurity can keep many women from setting safety boundaries, including separation and divorce.
Ask yourself honestly: If I were a billionaire, would I stay with my husband?
Financial insecurity is completely normal - especially if you've experienced financial abuse. However, consider exploring some of our resources here at BTR.ORG that can help you make decisions regarding your safety based from a place of confidence and reality rather than fear and insecurity, including:

* The BTR.ORG Workshops
* Our daily, live Group Sessions
* The BTR.ORG Books Page
* Individual Sessions with the BTR.ORG Coaches
* The BTR.ORG Podcast

Do I Have to Educate My Husband About Basic Human Decency?
Many victims are conditioned to accept this as just a part of life - having to educate their husbands on basic human decency.
Things like:

* Don't cheat on your wife and expose her to STIs.
* Don't view pornography where children can be exposed to it.
* Don't lie.
* Don't punch walls/destroy property/yell in other people's faces.

These are basic, decent human behaviors. It's sad that grown men choose not to abide by them.
But guess what? He already knows.
And he chooses not to live like a decent human being. It is not your purpose on this planet to teach a grown, adult, fully-mature man simple, basic human behaviors like, "Don't lie." 
If he wanted to be a basic, decent human being, he would. 
Asking Yourself, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"
BTR.ORG Is Here For You
At BTR.ORG we know how difficult it can be to ask yourself these hard questions, and even harder to answer them honestly. 
If you're on that precipice, asking yourself, "Should I stay or should I go?" then please attend a BTR.ORG Group Session today and find the validation and compassion that you deserve as you make your way to safety. We believe you. We love you. 

Full Transcript:
Anne (00:00):Welcome to BTR.ORG. This is Anne. Claire and I are back on today's episode. If you have not heard the first three parts of this conversation, go back three weeks. Start there and then join us here. Now,