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Life taught Paul that the way to a great life it to practice surrender.
And, he has a message that he’d like to share with the world.
‘Be happy…..no matter what!’
The ‘no matter what’ is vital.
To learn to relax and smile no matter what is going on around me. The importance of a sense of humour.
Join us as together we discover –
- Just because there is a mess outside doesn’t mean there needs to be a mess on the inside.
- Why happiness won’t be found on the outside.
- Why you should run towards enemy fire.
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Listen to this episode
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- Episode Transcript
Note – this is currently a highly automated transcription, so some of the text might not be wholly accurate – we are working on improving this over time!
You’re listening to the Keith Blakemore-Noble radio show, helping you transform your deepest fears into your greatest strengths. Here’s your host, Keith Blakemore Noble…
[00:00:31] Keith: Hello, Hello, Welcoming you to another episode of the Keith Blakemore Noble radio show, helping you transform your deepest fears into your greatest strength. Now, today’s guest knows a lot about conquering their own fear, overcoming their own suffering and so on. They were born in Liverpool in the nineteen seventies, living council housing. They’ve been a trader since there were fourteen. Ah, and that’s in all walks of life that started with a pencil in the back of a library Liverpool way back in the early eighties. Rather than going to school, they started a business from fifty pounds a week. Shared office in the late nineteen at the age of twenty four. Have they been retired at the age of thirty four? During that crazy ten year period, he built multiple businesses in different industries, lives currently in Cheshire in the UK, with two kids on the dog on, he meditates daily. He’s published a book called Getting Out of My Own Way and publish that in two thousand twelve. Life has taught him that the way to a great life is to practise, surrender, to learn, to relax and to smile, no matter what is going on around him. On the on the importance of a great sense of you. Now he’s learned that he let all of that the hard way through illness. That’s my guest today. His name is Paul Dorne. Are you there, Paul? Hey, Paul.
[00:02:04] Paul: Hi Keith.
[00:02:08] Keith: I’m sorry. I think way had a slight internet issue there. But we’re back on track, which is good. How’s it? How’s it going there for You?
[00:02:17] Paul: Great. Doing very well, Thank you. And you?
[00:02:21] Keith: I am fantastic. Fabulous as always. Thanks. Fabulous as always. Now you know one thing. One thing intrigues me. Well, lots of things about what you’ve done is intrigued me. I mean, retiring at the age of thirty four, that’s that’s pretty impressive. But the thing that really got me is you say that life has taught you the way to a great life is to practise surrender. What’s what? What is all about?
[00:02:45] Paul: So I, uh, probably spend the vast majority of my life trying to control everything and everybody on that. It caused me a lot of problems in relationships, problems in business. Ah, lot problems with my I came to appreciate is the and none of it was under my control. Ultimately, on the just speak bus, there are perceived problems on the outside. Doesn’t mean that I need Teo oven eighty on the inside. So, uh, I said to anybody you need to surrender. The difficulty would be seen as a weakness on the people would take it the wrong way, so, you know, surrender in in the sense that whatever happens in life, you just put up with it and go along. What I actually mean by surrender is the thing is gonna happen on the outside, I can say calm and smiley happy Malek, and then deal with the issue on the outside and see if I can improve the situation. So surrender is just my way of reminding myself that I think is gonna happen on the outside. The knowledge of my control on what’s really important is my reaction to those events on the outside.
[00:04:20] Keith: Right. OK, I get Yeah, because you’re right. That when when people hear the word surrender so often we have that that the sector I surrender and sort of just quitting, quitting and giving in to whatever’s going on or you’re saying it’s It’s not quitting and giving on. It’s It’s, I guess, and I don’t put words in your mouth. I guess it’s kind of surrender to the fact that stuff outside is happening on the on
[00:04:50] Paul: the thirteen point eight billion years and it’s done okay, it’s gonna keep on one on unfolding in front of me
[00:04:59] Keith: on the
[00:04:59] Paul: only thing that matters is that I surrendered to the fact that I’m not in control. So that’s what I’m surrendering to. Probably still be feel OK on the inside, just slapped that the world’s gonna unfold. And then from a very relaxed and calm place, deal with up to the best of my ability.
[00:05:18] Keith: Beautiful. I love that. Well, that’s the secret of life compared to think you’re much by now. It’s that is a beautiful, a beautiful message. I love that on DH. I guess a lot of people will be thinking Well, yeah, that all sounds good, but how How do you put that into practise on DH? I guess the other thing is How did you come upon that? Because I’m guessing. I’m guessing that hasn’t how your life has has always bean. So
[00:05:49] Paul: no.
[00:05:50] Keith: Um So we got two questions there. How do we put it in practise? Aunt, How did you How did you even come upon this? Let’s take that second one first. I mean, what did live used to be like before you before you realise this and how That’s kind of the process that led you to this realisation.
[00:06:09] Paul: So very early on in life, I was diagnosed with hyperactive against it. Andi, I I’ve always been that way. A million miles an hour. Constantly yourself on it, I think age everything I’ve ever done in life. I’ve taken time out of the ingredients. So you know why take forty years to retire when you can do it? What saved years to build a business when you do it on the the way I choose
[00:06:44] Keith: to do
[00:06:45] Paul: that was big time on the equation. Drive myself on those around me new through unsustainable practises. Call the way I’m living that into the seventies and eighties. I didn’t know that I was just being me and being since I was a kid. So when I got Tio two thousand seven was probably starting point. Certainly, by two thousand twelve, it became apparent that but there was something seriously long wrong with my house on. I went for whole cities of cheques on DH bloodwork, MRI’s all kinds of things. And the upshot of that was the doctor said, I’m not saying you’re making it all, but we ain’t got a clue What’s wrong with you? All I knew was that one of my bodily functions worked properly. What I now know is that I just read line my nervous system through never
[00:07:49] Keith: relaxes its
[00:07:51] Paul: falsely trying to arrange what was going on in the outside world. What was going on internally within me. So, Doc, that is how it started. I know very well thought out I got ill. I realised that you have all the money in the world with your good health. You are screwed.
[00:08:14] Keith: Yeah,
[00:08:15] Paul: that’s the bottom of it. So my full time job then became get well, I went to consultants all over the world. Um, I was diagnosed with m e was really mean on the boat. That is the diagnosis. I was given. I went to consultants all over the world. Tried everything from supplements through Teo faith healers, Teo hypnotism on absolutely nothing worked. So for a number of years, I was left scratching. We had because everybody was working called Sleep
[00:08:55] Keith: some
[00:08:56] Paul: tolerance. Um, just hold Mary other health problems. So I then took the decision toe. I was gonna have to find out for myself what caused problems. I looked everywhere else. I’ve looked everywhere on the outside world. I decided that the only place left to look was inside me. We’ll see. But
[00:09:25] Keith: the only
[00:09:26] Paul: place left to look like everything else I’ve done in my life Um do you know, they won’t decide that I was gonna get Well, I’ve committed to looking inside, So I started in various practise of meditation on the bed of the medication. Helps you relax. It doesn’t number of things for the benefit of meditation is enable ofyou to actually see what’s going on. Certainly. What? What emotion do you recall? How much an interview you got? You could take a called, uh, Ben tree off. What’s going on? Certainly. And what I found was a mess. That was the starting process. That’s the short answer to you. Why did I go down? Surrender route? It was in Intel process to figure it out. How do we get well on what actually was causing the problem? Was these internal experiences that led me down this fall route of fear
[00:10:46] Keith: Got it? Interesting. Interesting. I like the like the point you made there that you looked at everything external to see what was going on. None. None of it. You’re able to use it to change, to figure out what was going on. So that left the only option, which was, If it’s not outside, it must be, Yeah, must be inside. And that’s that’s what you found exactly what was going on, what was causing the situation in hand. And, ah, just as just as importantly, where the solution lies, you say the solution always live from from within.
[00:11:23] Paul: I believe him.
[00:11:24] Keith: Yeah. Nice. Okay, So you say you feel we that by taxing surrender that gives us the best quality of life. So how how can we How can we develop surrender? We developed that that ability, particularly in the heat of the moment when your super stress stress levels are really high, and everything is really getting to you. How can we develop that ability? Teo practise surrender.
[00:11:57] Paul: So me.
[00:11:58] Keith: One
[00:11:59] Paul: of the first thing I did once I recognise the external work Help is I’ve reached out to a radical Steve Peters. You was, at the time a pretty woman. Um, clinical psychologist. He was working with people that morning. O’Sullivan.
[00:12:18] Keith: So when?
[00:12:19] Paul: This weekend With him on. The first thing he said to me Is that voice in your head, Uh, you know, so you don’t get it. Well, listen to this voice and you have You know what, don’t you? I was a bit nervous at first because I thought he worked all his life with psychopaths and serial killers. He’s trying to trick me into, like, admitting their call this voice, and we have on DH. It wasn’t. He was just point out to me that you’re listening to this voice, Can’t you That there are two of you in the booth? First will be in the, uh he called it the chip this you and he had under the gym,
[00:13:05] Keith: which is
[00:13:07] Paul: part of the brain. That is from when we evolved from primates So that’s the first star pointed right case about this, boy said. We have. So you’re in the meditation sessions. Let’s just take a look and see what state. So now it was a bit of distance between May and this voice, all of the me and this voice being the same thing. Andi started to notice that it’s neurotic. It’s breaks off critical. The judges hold this quickly. Um, it’s of service with a ll. These things going on the tracks, No evidence. And why was I listening to this voice? Because it really gave good advice. So the first point is okay, voice this voice does this verbalise thinking going on. But I’m listening to I’m playing the tension sick. Then the second part of the meditative process was Okay, so now I’m starting to notice these shorts. This verbal I sport is being driven by how I feel my emotions. It was the realisation that I’m not my thoughts, but I’m not my emotions. I can actually sit back and surrender Tio these emotions being traces by extending vitamins that I’m not in control of Until that drive and all these, they’re blasting composers. I could actually be quite okay. Just what you’re going on. Once I realised that process, I realised that that emotion on that four post in compartments or being triggered by external events on that they were very subtly guide me through life. So that didn’t feel those emotions which didn’t drive. I want to figure all that out because when I will get into the house, because how? That sounds very complicated and it’s no practical. So let’s talk about how it’s a very simple, like all simple things in life can be quite difficult, painful to do, which is where the borders quote comes in. So the what I actually did was once I got those emotions which drew that sting compartments. It was a realisation that they were designed to protect me in something a long time ago, and when they started, instead of that simply guiding me away from the trigger, the answer was to go toward enemy fire. The answer was to go to the trigger. I didn’t change my cost, you on and create a new reference point. So what I did was every time there’s emotion started. What if it didn’t spot the emotion on the thinking started told me the emotions already kicked in. I purposely take myself into the situation. Uh, relax, my shoulders smile. So I was basically confusing the brain with Patton instruction. That’s that’s all I did. So the shoes are recognised that I was having emotions that I didn’t like. Where there be jealousy and the anger, irritation, fear. I take myself the situation on. Just relax the shoulders and smile. Not all of it.
[00:16:55] Keith: Wow, Nice that there’s a very, very boring thing you said. Or which something you said there was really resonated with me and it’s kind of kind of jumped out on that is that we are not our emotions and were not our thoughts, our emotions. And I thought, You know who we are?
[00:17:15] Paul: Yes,
[00:17:19] Keith: it says,
[00:17:19] Paul: I could go back to the illness I immediately within days, weeks. SCOTUS Media better. Once I started to one pick some of these triggers.
[00:17:39] Keith: We’ll start
[00:17:39] Paul: what release thiss emotional energy that was being haven’t listed, which is where the surrender process considered what was released. Well, there’s a portion of the day when I’m no longer being triggered Bye and then progressively each. I’ve been less triggered. I’m giving my central services we stand allows the body to feel because I think I me is a condition that prime Italy’s being driven by the central nervous system. So it’s all subconscious.
[00:18:18] Keith: That would be me. That would make a lot of sense because Amy wasn’t that. Didn’t that sort of really start Teo take off to really get noticed during the eighties with the the the yuppies and all that lifestyle when they’re just working flat out the whole time?
[00:18:39] Paul: I also think that it’s a driver for most of weather Western illness? No, primarily in a sense that to give you an example, um, people who are struggling with to be overweight, um, you beings for good subconsciously on the way. Tio spot Those composers those think oppressors have being driven by uneasy feeling in the body because it’s a subconscious level they I don’t recognise on just like click work. It’s
[00:19:16] Keith: the
[00:19:16] Paul: emotion starts the fourth kicking on. Then you’re going over the fridge stores to clothe a family mom. Well, the way could do like dealing with the emotional level rather than a dietary level. Maya can you
[00:19:32] Keith: makes a lot of sense absolutely makes a lot of sense. Yeah, So a daily meditation is that it’s a key part of your of your strategy. Eyes keep part of you of your life. Can you give us just like a really quick overview of how? How does one start meditating? What’s the best way to Teo? Go about about that,
[00:19:57] Paul: So meditation also doing when you meditate is a god, he said. It’s the realisation in the experience, the direct experience that you’re not your emotions or thoughts. So the religious texts call discourse. There’s now science backing off. You have the ability to create distance between your thoughts and your emotions. You can watch them. You could be called The Watcher, so medication isn’t about sitting in a field for twenty minutes where you’re all just checking with yourself every tournaments, like a lot of tension in your muscles. Do I feel nervous? What, you never got that voice going on, and we had criticising people judging people. But what’s going on? Just taking Venturi off yourself throughout the day. That’s meditation. If you want to do what I do, which is to spend quiet time twenty minutes each day, I get up in the morning. Put yourself a brew on. But then it goes into the car because classics seven o’clock in the morning. It’s silence. I
[00:21:11] Keith: haven’t
[00:21:11] Paul: got them and visit the family calls and movies. I easier to do that process. But the truth is what you practised. You could be meditating twenty four seven. So I’m I met late twenty minutes each day by just switching off the outside world and bringing my focus and attention internally
[00:21:34] Keith: on
[00:21:34] Paul: thinking about a lot thinkable, noticing place in my attention on taking part of the body on any progress on what’s going on in the hat. But, you know, I’m doing that right now while I’m talking to you, I’m talking to you. But I’m also aware that my stomach slightly times and I go some tensions. Schools constantly notices the electric shoulders and swell more. It’s just about having control over your attention, which is great for kids that diagnosed agents five years old because eighty day is all about you lack focus. You like the ability to pay attention to things, thinks gathered attention all over your environment
[00:22:24] Keith: so
[00:22:25] Paul: we don’t anywhere twenty four seven.
[00:22:29] Keith: Okay, that makes sense. So meditation, meditation it’s not. What were you? Perhaps everything. Call this the classical thing of sitting in the in the lotus position in the middle of nowhere for an hour at a time, burning joss sticks and thinking about nothing. It’s It’s more just something you could do any time, any place anywhere. And it’s basically almost taking a step back from yourself on observing what’s going on. What am I thinking, one of my feeling on
[00:22:59] Paul: that Why your medication? You close your eyes
[00:23:02] Keith: Because it’s
[00:23:03] Paul: right. Teo, stop. The sense starts that’s trying to prevent the environment. Come through your senses and gaining your attention.
[00:23:12] Keith: Yeah,
[00:23:13] Paul: I wouldn’t put anybody off. Go in the field and lightning
[00:23:17] Keith: on your side,
[00:23:18] Paul: You know, doing it that way. Yeah, it’s far more pretty provocative to ridicule in the day.
[00:23:26] Keith: Uh, because you got
[00:23:28] Paul: a little cuties. What you gonna do with you? I think when you start, you should say twenty minutes each day,
[00:23:36] Keith: Teo
[00:23:37] Paul: gained control over your attention over the focus. You. But you’re gaining control over your conscious awareness was what you doing
[00:23:47] Keith: guarded? That makes that makes a lot of sense. So the whole taking time out on dates on. You can do that if you wish to. If you said if you kind of feeling well, that’s that’s really not me. It’s not who I am. You can still meditate by. Just take a moment here and there. Just what you doing? Getting much with what’s going on
[00:24:11] Paul: whenever I speak to people and never mention a word meditation, Really?
[00:24:15] Keith: I just
[00:24:15] Paul: call it quiet time. So if you’re
[00:24:17] Keith: going
[00:24:17] Paul: from Wall Network meeting for the next night, work me.
[00:24:20] Keith: You
[00:24:21] Paul: get our where you go to a lady by just five minutes. Quiet time. Close your eyes. Selection shoulders. Just bring your central nervous systems out of it. I guarantee you feel better about anybody that felt worse.
[00:24:39] Keith: Yeah, well, it’s true. I get is the kind of thing many of us do. Naturally, once we reach that kind of overload threshold on what you’re saying is, if we do that regularly, we’re not gonna We’re not going to reach the overload because where? Keep it nice. What? One thing I wanted to ask you about You said that the secret is running towards enemy fire. Yeah, Andi way kind of Just wrap up by talking about. What do you mean by that?
[00:25:16] Paul: So what towards enemy fire is what I used to do was up my
[00:25:22] Keith: eyes.
[00:25:23] Paul: I thought I live. I thought I was fearless. I felt that I did exactly well. I wanted to do in life on DH. I didn’t appreciate that. I was thinking Race simply guided through life where these emotions, the subconscious emotions and feelings Because it’s not a huge sense of adrenaline that, like a bear’s just that once it’s a subtle things like walking towards somebody and they’re not smiling. Did you look away?
[00:25:55] Keith: I don’t know
[00:25:57] Paul: the That’s the kind of thing that’s like, subtly guiding you through life. Now what I started to realise is close that I’ve got to those things. When I realised that there were things I wanted to do on this, when I tried to make steps to do them, we’ll expect him was a good example. The closer I got to try and Teo to deport with Speaker the warm or these emotions got stronger and stronger on the stronger the thoughts got Andi. Once I realised that the only way out it’s a mental prison were all in a mental prison were all locked into comfort zones. I’m there are there is huge happiness and peace of mind. The other side of those mental prison walls, you’re outside our comfort zone and also huge opportunities for wealth creation. Um, spiritual grow works way out way out is to walk towards that. The anti that called itself on. Carry on walking.
[00:27:06] Keith: So a woman
[00:27:06] Paul: walks enemy fire is okay. Emotion the think and started now were there What would normally happen is subconsciously I walk that way. Well, now I would do the exact opposite of how I am wide. I’m gonna go that way. I want to go that light practise Like some shoulders and smiling I shaved that emotional state.
[00:27:33] Keith: Brilliant. I love that. I think that’s a great point. I mean that there’s so much more that we could talk about here. Wait. I’m sure we could talk for hours on this. I think that’s probably a good good point for us to wrap it up that front. For now. I’m just summarise kind of the key things that I’ve got from what you’re saying is that just because just because it’s a mess outside doesn’t mean that needs to be a mess on the inside. Um, happiness isn’t found on the outside. It’s a process of clearing up that mess on you inside on DH that basically we should run toward enemy fire. By which you mean find the ages of of your comfort zone and keep on walking with a smile on your face and your shoulders relaxed. And that’s the key. Way to really, really live a life worth living.
[00:28:29] Paul: That’s my experience.
[00:28:31] Keith: Brilliant. Paul, it’s been an absolute pleasure chatting with you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking some time out every day to share some of these these pointers with us. Perhaps we revisit some, some of them. A future point. Who knows? But for now, thank you so much. Paul. On DH. That’s it for now. Thank you so much for joining us wherever you’ve joined us on on here. I hope you’ve got a lot out of this. Um, if you want to get in touch with Paul, the best way to get in touch, find out or get in touch with you to find him on Twitter. Paul Door, Paul Dora and I w m That’s p a u L d o r A n w a m on Twitter. Leave these role in the show notes on the website as well. All you can cheque out cheque him out of his website, www dot daily Trader TV. Don’t calm slash about dash. Really? Www dot daily trade a tv dot com slash about dash me. You find out a lot more about Paul, who he is and what he does. That’s it for today. Thank you Big Thank you to my guests, Paul, for taking some time out to join us on. Share some invaluable information with us. Thank you for taking your time out to join us. I hope we’ll catch you next time. I’m on the next episode, and meanwhile, I will leave you with Paul’s favourite quote, which is a quote from the Buddha. I think it really just sum up everything Paul’s been talking about. You should know suffering
You’ve been listening to the Keith Blakemore Noble radio show Helping you transform your deepest fears into your greatest strengths. To find out more, please visit KeithBakemoreNoble.com
About my GuestPaul Doran
- About my Guest
- About your host
- About the show
Born in Liverpool. 1970’s. Council housing. I’ve been a trader since I was 14. In all walks of life. Starting with a pencil, at the back of a library in Liverpool, back in the early 1980’s. Rather than going to school. I started a business from a shared £50 per week office in the late 1990’s aged 24. And retired at 34. During that crazy 10 year period, I built multiple businesses in different industries. I live in Cheshire, UK. 2 kids and a dog. I meditate daily. I published a book called getting out of my own way in 2012. Life taught me that the way to a great life it to practice surrender. To learn to relax and smile no matter what is going on around me. The importance of a sense of humour. I learned that the hard way through illness.
About your hostKeith Blakemore-Noble
Fear Strategist, coach, international speaker, multi-time best-selling author, hypnotist, occasional magician, and presenter of this show.
And someone who, for far too many years, was massively held back by a very strong social phobia – speaking with strangers, or even meeting strangers, was at best deeply uncomfortable, and at worst utterly terrifying for him. For far too many years.
So he did the logical thing – he pursued a 20 year career in IT with some success (becoming a Fellow of the BCS in the process).
Until one panic attack too many, which forced him to reconsider his life.
So he studied NLP and hypnosis, used those tools to conquer his own fears and phobias, and since 2010 he has helped others around the world to transform their deepest fears into their greatest strengths through his coaching, speaking, books, and trainings. Indeed, since 2010 he has helped over 5,000 people to transform their lives.
Having travelled the world for a while doing this, he has settled back in his native Scotland, where he is focusing on the next step in his journey of helping as many people as he can to conquer their fears. Which includes the launch of this Show!
About the show
Since 2010 Keith has helped over 5,000 people to transform their lives.
Now he brings the distillation of his experience into a weekly show designed to help you to transform your deepest fears into your greatest strengths.
Some episodes feature Keith running solo, discussing topics related to fear, phobia, mindset, and taking an interesting look into where it all comes from and what we can do about it.
In other episodes, Keith invites a special guest to join him and to discuss their experiences in overcoming their own fears, so that we can gain some insight into how we might do the same, or even to explore the more esoteric areas around fear – sometimes in some unexpected yet very interesting ways!
Presented in both audio and in video, across multiple platforms, so that the show can meet those who need it where they are.
- Keith’s 6 Step Model For Change
- Earliest Memory – Pump My Fear
- Why Doesn’t Change Last?