The Art of Charm

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

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Dr. Steven Hayes | The Art of Leading a Fulfilling Life


In today’s episode, we cover how to focus on what matters most with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven C. Hayes is a professor and author of 44 books and nearly 600 scientific articles, his career has focused on an analysis of the nature of human language and cognition and the application of this to the understanding and alleviation of human suffering.

It’s easy to let your life get derailed when you don’t have a solid understanding of what matters to you, but what can you do to determine your guiding values and how can you differentiate between the important thoughts you have and those that just distract you?

What to Listen For

  • What are the 6 processes can you implement to lead a more intentional life you find fulfilling?
  • Why is the pursuit of good feelings and avoidance of bad feelings detrimental to the human experience?
  • Why is it important to learn how to feel, and how do you learn how to appreciate “bad” feelings?
  • What exercise can you do before seeing someone to put yourself in a great mood?
  • How do you differentiate between thoughts that define you and thoughts that you’re experiencing, so you don’t have to feel like crap just because you’re thinking something negative about yourself?
  • What can you do to define your values so you have a strong guiding compass in life and don’t get bogged down by insignificant details and failures?
  • Should we trust our experience or our minds, and why can one lead to failure and time wasted?
  • What are the 3 C’s that can lead you to a more clearly defined and fulfilling life?
  • How can you deal with the thoughts that lead you to failure and avoidance?

There are an infinite number of things we could think about in a given day, but we only have 24 hours to experience them, so the thoughts we choose to focus on can have a lasting impact on not just our mental well being, but our long term happiness and success. Not having a solid foundation of guiding values can make it all too easy to fall into a trap of focusing on thoughts, feelings, and experiences that hold you back from becoming the person you want to be.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!

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Resources from this Episode

A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Dr Steven Hayes

Dr. Steven Hayes’s website

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

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Johnny on Instagram

The Art of Charm on Instagram

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 August 17, 2020  1h6m