Betrayal Trauma Recovery - Betrayal Trauma Recovery is an online, daily support group for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. Join a live session today. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s abuse: lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Codependency or labeling a woman as codependent is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are in a relationship, separated, or divorced navigate to recover and heal by establishing safety through boundaries. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced abuse and betrayal trauma first hand. For past podcasts visit our website:


You’re Not Crazy: Porn Is Abuse

It's not "just porn".

You're not overreacting.

You're not overbearing. Jealous. Prude. Controlling.

And you're certainly not crazy.

Pornography use is emotionally abusive. That's why it hurts so much.

Join Melea Stevens, board member on the National Center of Exploitation on the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast for a deep dive into the intricacies of why and how pornography is an abuse issue and how this affects you.

Pornography Use Is Emotional Abuse

She doesn’t know what to do. She’s carrying all the anxiety for the relationship because her husband is married to this behavior, this other thing, and she’s neglected. She’s abandoned. And she’s continually getting the message of, "you’re not enough. You’re not attractive. You’re not wanted." So, she’s carrying this psychological abuse, the emotional abuse, if not verbal use. The husband, because he’s normalized it so much, he can’t even begin to see how he’s affecting his wife at that point. He has to go through recovery to begin to even have empathy. To restore trust, and to heal.Melea Stevens, board member on the National Center on Sexual Exploitation

The lack of empathy found in porn users can be maddening, excruciating, and heartbreaking. This unwillingness of abusive men to give love and understanding to a partner is emotional abuse. Especially when the abuser has caused significant harm and should be making amends for his infidelity.

Another Layer of Emotional and Psychological Abuse: Lying and Manipulation

Women feel more confusion as abusers lie to protect their pornography use and other sexual-acting out behaviors. Lying, an emotionally and psychologically abusive behavior, has devastating effects on a victim in and of itself.

Further, the implicit and explicit messages of rejection, inferiority, and inadequacy that an abusive pornography user sends to his partner are direct forms of damaging emotional abuse.

Emotional abusers condition victims to feel:

* Rejected* Unwanted* Alone* Replaced* Unintelligent* Unimportant* Inadequate* Repugnant* Boring* Objectified* Unattractive* Unremarkable* Terrified* Broken* Pathetic

It's important for victims to know that they are important. Beautiful. Deserving of love. None of the labels and beliefs that the abuser projects are accurate. It's difficult to recover from emotional abuse. But it is absolutely possible.

Pornography Use is Child Abuse

...So many cases come in nowadays, you’re already seeing a lot of kids whose parents were addicted to pornography and the effects of that in the young adult population. And how it affected their self-esteem and the messages that they got from their parents. It’s a lot to clean up and to heal from.Melea Stevens, board member on the National Center on Sexual Exploitation

When a child is exposed to pornography, that child has been sexually abused and must be treated for trauma. Further, in many cases, children are emotionally, psychologically, and physically abused by pornography-using fathers.


 2020-08-25  18m