The devastation and pain that victims of betrayal trauma experience is often minimized because "it's just porn."
At BTR, we understand and affirm that pornography use is abusive. Women who experience this deep form of betrayal are experiencing the severe and debilitating effects of an abusive relationship and must be given the respect and support that they deserve.
Join Melea Stevens, board member on the National Center of Exploitation on the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast for a deep dive into the intricacies of why and how pornography is an abuse issue and how this affects you.
Pornography Use Is Emotional Abuse
She doesn’t know what to do and she’s carrying all the anxiety for the relationship because he husband is married to this behavior, this other thing, and she’s neglected, she’s abandoned, and she’s continually getting the message of, "you’re not enough, you’re not attractive, you’re not wanted." So, she’s carrying this psychological abuse, the emotional abuse, if not verbal use often times too. The husband, because he’s normalized it so much, he can’t even begin to see how he’s effecting his wife at that point. He has to go through recovery to begin to even have empathy, to restore trust, and to heal.Melea Stevens, board member on the National Center on Sexual Exploitation
The lack of empathy found in men who use pornography can be maddening, excruciating, and heartbreaking for partners. This unwillingness of abusive men to give love and understanding to a partner is emotional abuse, especially when the abuser has caused significant harm and should be making amends for his infidelity.
Another Layer of Emotional and Psychological Abuse: Lying and Manipulation
Women feel more confusion as abusers lie to protect their pornography use and other sexual-acting out behaviors. Lying, an emotionally and psychologically abusive behavior, has devastating effects on a victim in and of itself.
Further, the implicit and explicit messages of rejection, inferiority, and inadequacy that an abusive pornography user sends to his partner are direct forms of damaging emotional abuse.
Pornography Use is Child Abuse
...So many cases come in nowadays, you’re already seeing a lot of kids whose parents were addicted to pornography and the effects of that in the young adult population and how it affected their self-esteem and the messages that they got from their parents. It’s a lot to clean up and to heal from.Melea Stevens, board member on the National Center on Sexual Exploitation
When a child is exposed to pornography, that child has been sexually abused and must be treated for trauma. Further, in many cases, children are emotionally, psychologically, and physically abused by pornography-using fathers.
BTR Supports Victims of Emotional Abuse in Finding Safety
Women suffering from the devastating effects of emotional abuse and betrayal trauma may feel at times like they have no control, this is what abusers want them to think. However,