btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
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episode 139: Why Does Sex Hurt? (It's Not What You Think)
Most of the women in the BTR community are comfortable talking about their emotional pain. Betrayal hurts.
Sexual and pelvic pain? That's a different story. It can be awkward and embarrassing to go into detail about such an intimate part of a woman's private life.
Sexual Coercion and Marital Rape Are Hard to Spot (Even For Doctors)
Many victims of emotional abuse seek a doctor's help when they begin suffering from pelvic and sexual pain. Is it an infection? Am I sick?
Tragically, when infections have been ruled out, women are often left with no answers and excruciating pain. They may be told that it's "all in their heads" or that they are just stressed out and need to relax.
Sexual Abuse Causes Sexual Pain
It is a fact that sexual abuses creates sexual pain in victims. When a woman experiences pelvic and sexual pain, she is probably a victim of sexual abuse.
How Can I Identify Sexual Coercion and Sexual Abuse in My Marriage?
Ask yourself these questions:
* Does sex physically hurt?
* Does he tell you that you "owe him" sexual contact because he has spent money on you, is in a relationship with you, did a favor or housework for you, etc.?
* Does he give you drugs or alcohol before sexual contact?
* Does he sulk, get violent, get angry, pout, keep you awake, degrade, belittle, or do anything but kindly accept your "no" when you decline sexual contact?
* Does he continue sexual contact even after you have changed your mind and said no (even if you initially said yes?)
* Does he threaten or intimidate you into saying yes? (He will hurt you, get angry or violent, or find another woman if you don't have sexual contact with him).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFjlWfhjS20
What is Consent?
Consent is not:
* A woman saying no repeatedly
* A woman saying yes out of fear
* A woman saying yes after intitially saying no
* A woman saying yes and then changing her mind partially through the sexual experience
* A woman saying yes for any other reason, but that she wants to because she feels safe, loved, and connected
* A woman having sexual contact with her partner when he has not disclosed his sexual history and/or currently or in the past has/is having sexual experiences that she is not privy to.
Consent is:
An "enthusiastic yes!" given by a woman who feels safe, loved, and connected; who wants to enjoy sexual contact with her safe partner, knowing that she can withdraw consent at any time and will be respected, loved, and treated with tender affection to the same extent that she would be if there had been continued sexual contact.
Further, there are no secret sexual experiences that her partner has had/is having that he has not disclosed to her in full prior to the sexual contact.
What Can I Do To Find Relief From Pelvic And Sexual Pain?
* Set and maintain effective boundaries around safe sexual practices: only have sex with someone that you trust and love after he has proven that he is...