"I want to let you know that BTR was a lifesaver for me. It was barely over a year ago that I found your organization. Wait, I didn't find you, God brought me to you. It changed my life. I just want you to know how much of a difference you make in the lives of hurt women. Please don't stop doing what you're doing. There are a lot of women out there who desperately need what BTR has to offer. I know this because I was one of them."
Anonymous
At Betrayal Trauma Recovery, we know how devastating it is to discover a partner's secret pornography use, sexual acting out, and infidelity.
We know the devastation and terror that seize women's hearts when the reality sinks in that what has been happening to them isn't "marital dysfunction" or "just stress" but abuse.
Myths About Emotional Abuse Enable Abusers
Tragically, the truth about relational abuse, including betrayal, sexual coercion, emotional, psychological, and narcissistic abuse, is overrun by abusers themselves who skillfully manipulate society into seeing abuse only as domestic violence.
Abusers are enabled as these myths are embedded into the population: therapists, clergy, friends, family, and neighbors, and random people on the internet, like a recent BTR Podcast reviewer who left a comment riddled with the 7 Toxic Myths about Emotional Abuse.
Just because he's not physically violent, doesn't mean his actions aren't abusive.
The 7 Toxic Myths About Emotional Abuse
Listen to the podcast or read the full transcript below to hear Anne's detailed rebuttal of each myth.
7 Toxic Myths About Emotional Abuse
* Women with strong opinions, religious views, and world views should not be taken seriously.
* Emotional abuse advocates are usually just trying to find someone to listen to their own story and aren't actually helping victims.
* If it doesn't include physical violence, it's not abuse.
* If it only happens once, or occasionally, it's not abuse.
* A man can harm his partner, and it's not technically abuse.
* Pornography use isn't abuse.
* Betrayal isn't abuse.
These myths are dangerous: they enable abusers to keep abusing and they encourage victims to stay in abusive situations.
7 Powerful Truths About Emotional Abuse
The truth is simple: any time a man compromises his partner's safety and/or harms her emotionally, physically, spiritually, or psychologically, he is abusing her.
* All women deserve a voice, especially victims of emotional abuse. As women share their stories, they can begin the journey to healing. Further, strong world views, opinions and perspectives are absolutely necessary for women to begin healing. In an abusive situation, it is black and white: there is an abuser and a victim. There is the truth and there are lies. It does not take "two to tango," and there are not "two sides" to the story of abuse.
* The most powerful advocates for victims of abuse, are survivors of abuse! As women courageously tell their stories to other victims, powerful communities filled with hope, healing, and validation are created.
* Physical battery is absolutely abusive,