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What is Peter Pan Syndrome? Thanks for asking!

Peter Pan was the original Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up, a character from J.M. Barrie’s 1911 children’s novel. But some people also struggle with adulthood for a long time, due to the “real world” responsibilities it brings.

American psychoanalyst Dan Kiley noticed this pattern of behaviour in some of his patients during the 1970s and 80s. He wrote a book entitled “The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up.” While Kiley’s work focused on men, the so-called Peter Pan Syndrome can affect women too.

What are the symptoms of Peter Pan Syndrome then?

Kiley noticed that many young adults were afraid of growing up and bearing the weight of adulthood on their shoulders. Once reaching an adult age, they continued to remain “kidults”. 

It’s not a recognised condition with a clinical diagnosis, but there is some consensus about the signs and attitudes relating to Peter Pan Syndrome. Those who have the syndrome often struggle with relationships, showing emotional unavailability and avoiding addressing issues. 

Finding or holding onto a job may also be a point of difficulty. Peter Pans might bet their hopes on a longshot dream like becoming a professional athlete or self-supporting actor.

The syndrome is often discussed alongside narcissism, as there are some similarities, such as a failure to accept accountability or a fear of criticism for example. But Peter Pans don’t necessarily meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder, or always have narcissistic traits.

So what’s behind this syndrome then?

A lot of the time, people affected by Peter Pan Syndrome haven’t fully lived their youth and have been thrown into adulthood too quickly. In other cases, it may be people who have experienced a

violent trauma which ruined their innocence at a young age. 

To protect themselves, they unconsciously keep their emotional development at the childhood stage. Michael Jackson is a prominent example of a celebrity who was labelled as having Peter Pan Syndrome. Jackson said he developed his Neverland ranch to live the childhood he never had, having been an entertainment performer from an early age.

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