Not Real Art

Are you living your best quarantine life, learning new skills, reading books, and binge-watching Netflix? If like Sourdough you are a parent of young kids, you know this is not happening, particularly if you are making any effort to home school them. Regardless of your circumstances, these times are stressful for everybody, and that’s why getting licensed psychotherapist Bret Hofstein on the podcast couldn’t have come at a better time. In this episode, he talks to the Hollywood art community in particular—actors, writers, directors, painters—about managing the common problems that this population comes up against, the most prominent of which the frustration of having to play the game. Idealistic as they are, most have a hard time dealing with the tough competition out there, often finding it difficult to do what needs to be done to give themselves the best shot while also nursing unrealistic expectations about their abilities and their work. Add to that a host of uncontrollable factors such as the idiosyncratic tastes of casting directors and sheer bad luck, and you sit with a ton of people who need help in the area of mental health. But not everyone can afford therapy, so Bret shares practical tips as well as sound philosophical advice that will help anyone who struggles with depression, anxiety, and uncertainty when it comes to their artistic careers and general wellbeing. Sourdough and Bret also discuss issues such as identity and purpose, self-medicating with weed and other substances, getting the most out of your therapy sessions, parenthood, and they weigh up the pros and cons of giving everyone a trophy and what that means for today’s workplace culture.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Thoughts on living your best quarantine life and getting fired from homeschooling your kids.
• Hear about Bret’s childhood that acted as a catalyst for his becoming a psychotherapist. 
• Are we living in the most stressful time in history? And how artists are currently dealing with it.
• Get an idea of what therapists in the competitive Los Angeles area are charging right now.
• The most common frustration that artists experience: having to compete and play the game.
• How getting your art seen, read, or heard is the most challenging part of being an artist.
• Find out how Bret’s experience in the art world set him up to help his clients in unique ways.
• The relationship between discovering your purpose and becoming settled in your identity.
• Practical advice for taking care of your mental health, even if you can’t afford therapy.
• The irony of human beings being more disconnected than ever in the age of social media.
• Why it is so difficult for us to take responsibility for the part we play in difficult situations.
• Taking control of what you can and accepting the things that you can’t.
• Strategies for protecting yourself from the stress of working with challenging clients.
• Why it is perfectly normal for human beings to have “crutches” to help us navigate life.
• Bret’s thoughts on using marijuana to self-medicate: healthy versus problematic behavior.
• Guidelines for getting the most out of your therapy sessions: dress code, timing, and more.
• Core drivers of stress: having unrealistic expectations about your work and happiness.
• The importance of reminding yourself about the reason you do something and for who.
• Finding the balance between loving the process and suffering through the difficult parts.
• Chasing money versus pursuing a meaningful career and where luck fits into it all.
• Should everybody get a trophy? And other thoughts on rewarding performance. 
• Having realistic expectations for your craft and understanding the amount of effort it takes.
• Why people who are passionate and love their work are more susceptible to exploitation.

For more information, photos and links, visit our website: https://notrealart.com/how-to-manage-stress-with-therapist-bret-hoftstein