Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested in spiritual as well as psychological questions. Who am I? What are my values – as opposed to my parents, my teachers and the wider society? What makes my life meaningful? What do I believe about life, the universe and everything? Although my clients might come to me because of destructive arguments, falling out of love and infidelity, they are also interested in having more meaningful relationships and a more meaningful life. So what is the meaningful life? Why do we so easily lose our way and get lost in depression, anxiety, doubt, addictions and obsessions: the swamplands of the soul? One thing I know for sure is that there is not one answer...
https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/
episode 22: Tom Vanderbilt: The Beginners Mind: How to get out of a rut
When did you last learn to do something totally and utterly new? Tom Vanderbilt, author of Beginners: the Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning, was awestruck by his young daughter’s insatiable need to know how to do almost everything. He was inspired to embark on a year of learning purely for its own sake.
Tom had a truly unique year - a circuitous journey of learning, in which he attempted to learn chess, singing, surfing, drawing and juggling. These skills were chosen on the basis of difficulty and lack of marketability.
Close encounters with scorpions aside, Tom found that his new sense of curiosity opened him up to a profound happiness and a deeper connection to the people around him. By reinventing himself in small ways, life began to seem more magical.
In this episode Andrew and Tom talk about just why it is that so many of us stop learning new skills as adults. While we’re encouraging our children to be adventurous and to try new things, are we ourselves afraid of failure? Have we forgotten the pleasure and rewards of starting from scratch?
Follow Up
- Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50.
- Learn more about Tom Vanderbilt’s book Beginners: the Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning
- Follow Tom Vanderbilt on Twitter or Instagram @tomvanderbilt
- Andrew and Tom also discuss Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World by David Epstein.
- Find out more about dealing with midlife and the relationship issues it can cause in Andrew’s book It’s Not a Midlife Crisis, It’s an Opportunity
Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on:
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