The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.
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Toolbox | 3 Steps to Break Out of Small Talk and Instantly Build Rapport
In today’s episode, we cover small talk and smart talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk, but what is smart talk, why is vulnerability key, and how do you know what questions to ask?
What to Listen For
- Small Talk and Smart Talk - 0:00
- How do you transition from small talk to more meaningful conversations that actually create connections?
- Why is vulnerability important when selling someone on an idea or solution, and how do you use vulnerability to do it?
- How to be vulnerable using the cave analogy - 4:30
- What is the cave analogy and how can you use it to lead a conversation to a strong connection?
- What does it mean to move laterally and vertically in a conversation and why is it detrimental to only move in one direction?
- How do you know what questions to ask when making small talk?
- The FORD acronym for making small talk - 10:30
- What four basic ideas can you use to come up with easy questions to start a conversation?
- What should you do if you find yourself in conversational dead ends, or if the person you’re talking to is giving you short responses?
- How do talk about yourself in a meaningful way - 19:05
- How do you talk about yourself without coming across as boastful or arrogant?
- Once you connect with someone, how do you deepen that connection?
If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk. What is the difference between small and smart talk? When we think of small talk, most often it's just a way for us to pass time or fill an awkward silence. Smart talk is about asking the right questions and listening closely to what they have to say. This will help you understand their needs on a deeper level, build stronger relationships with them, and form better connections than if all you did was small talk. But without vulnerability in your interactions, there’s little chance of connecting with someone new or deepening an existing relationship.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
The Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet
Eavesdropping on Happiness: Well-being is Related to Having Less Small Talk and More Substantive Conversations
The Art of Charm Immersive Bootcamp
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
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