The Bright Side of Life (Mental Health, Self Care)

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episode 42: Becoming the highest version of yourself. Kim and Tara's story of their own spirtual journey's and how it allowed them to find their purpose of serving. [transcript]


Kim and Tara first met 8 years ago and became fast friends before working together in the educational field. Once Covid hit, they lost their jobs and their identity with it. This began their spiritual awakening and continued path on a self-discovery journey.
Kim realized that she had repressed her traumatic childhood and was living with limiting beliefs and a scarcity mindset. Through her spiritual journey, she has become fulfilled, living with an abundant mindset, has found her inner spark and reconnected with her soul.
Tara grew up in an environment where she dealt with parentification, adultifiaction, and a narcissistic Step Mom. Her awakening brought awareness that patterns from her childhood kept presenting themselves. Their journey allowed them to find their purpose of serving others. It is now their hope to walk as many people as possible through their spiritual journey so they can become their higher selves.
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 2021-07-27  1h45m
 
 
00:00  Kim
becoming your higher self
00:00
is a spiritual journey. Most of
00:03
us have no idea who we are at
00:03
our core. You know, we've got
00:05
all these like handprints and
00:05
footprints all over us from life
00:10
from different experiences and
00:10
from people that we forgot long
00:14
ago who we really are.
00:16  Melissa Bright
Welcome to the
00:16
bright side of life, a podcast
00:18
where people share their
00:18
personal stories of struggles,
00:22
pain and grief. But through all
00:22
of that, they are still able to
00:25
find the joys in life.
00:43
Hello, bright siders! And
00:43
welcome to another episode of
00:47
the bright side of life. I am
00:47
your host, Melissa Bright. And
00:51
if you are in fact enjoying this
00:51
podcast, the best way you can
00:54
show your support is to
00:54
subscribe or follow on any of
00:58
the platforms like Apple
00:58
podcast, or Spotify and then
01:01
you'll be notified when a new
01:01
episode drops. And if you
01:04
haven't wrote a review, I would
01:04
greatly appreciate it. If you
01:08
did, it really helps the podcast
01:08
become more discoverable to new
01:12
listeners. So you can leave a
01:12
review directly on Apple
01:16
podcasts. Or you can go to my
01:16
website at the bright side of
01:19
life podcast.com slash reviews.
01:19
And today I am talking with Kim
01:26
and Tara and they are spiritual
01:26
empowerment coaches and they
01:31
have a company called soulful
01:31
healers. So we are going to be
01:37
talking all things today about
01:37
spirituality. Now just a little
01:41
quick rundown Kim and Tara first
01:41
met eight years ago, and they
01:45
became fast friends before
01:45
working together in the
01:47
educational field. But once
01:47
COVID had they lost their jobs
01:52
and their identity with it, as
01:52
we all can really relate to
01:57
that. So this began their
01:57
spiritual awakening, and
02:01
continued on a path of self
02:01
discovery journal journal
02:06
journey. I can't talk today. So
02:06
ladies, thank you so much for
02:11
being here. How are you guys
02:11
doing today?
02:15  Kim and Tara
Thank you for
02:15
having me. Great. We're super
02:17
excited to share. We love
02:17
talking all things spirituality.
02:21
And we love sharing our story
02:21
too, just in hopes that it
02:25
reaches people the way that they
02:25
need to be reached today.
02:29  Melissa Bright
Yes, absolutely.
02:29
And this is my first time that
02:31
I've actually had two guests on
02:31
at the same time. So I'm excited
02:35
for this. And we're going to do
02:35
great. And let's just go ahead
02:39
and get into it. So I've kind of
02:39
decided what we're going to do
02:42
is I'm going to break things
02:42
down into like Kim sharing a
02:46
little bit about her story for
02:46
first, then Tara sharing a
02:49
little bit about her story, how
02:49
you guys came together, and then
02:53
how this spiritual journey and
02:53
then everything kind of started.
02:57
So that's what's gonna happen.
02:57
I'm Kim. I'm going to kind of
03:02
read just a little bit of an
03:02
excerpt that you put on your bio
03:05
if you don't mind me and then so
03:05
people kind of know where we're
03:08
coming from, and then we'll go
03:08
from there. So on this for Kim,
03:13
she had put that I repressed
03:13
traumatic childhood. I repressed
03:18
traumatic childhood and was
03:18
living with limiting beliefs and
03:21
a scarcity mindset. I lived in a
03:21
home situation with a father who
03:25
was unmedicated and mentally ill
03:25
suffered from schizophrenic
03:30
acts. How do I say that fective
03:30
affective disorder and a mother
03:35
who overworked to avoid the
03:35
situation at home. My violent,
03:39
aggressive, chaotic childhood
03:39
had manifested itself into my
03:43
adult life where I was working
03:43
60 hours a week unfulfilled and
03:46
addicted to a chaotic lifestyle.
03:46
Through my spiritual journey, I
03:50
have become fulfilled living
03:50
with an abundant mindset, and
03:54
have found my inner spark and
03:54
reconnected with my soul. I
04:00
literally just like pulled that
04:00
from the thing, obviously, and I
04:03
didn't change anything. So I was
04:03
trying to like change it to I
04:05
change it. I love that fun
04:05
stuff. Anyways, so let's talk a
04:10
little bit about, uh, about your
04:10
childhood. And you said that it
04:14
was chaotic. And your dad was
04:14
unmedicated. So kind of talk to
04:18
me about what that looked like
04:18
when you were a little girl.
04:20  Kim
Sure. So my dad grew up.
04:20
Let me go ahead and backtrack
04:24
just a little bit. So when we
04:24
were growing up, we thought that
04:27
my dad just had manic depressive
04:27
disorder, and maybe a touch of
04:32
bipolar disorder at the time. I
04:32
mean, think about it, like 30
04:35
years ago, they really weren't
04:35
looking at mental health the
04:38
same way that they were. My dad
04:38
also has this ability to kind of
04:42
turn on and off when he is super
04:42
comfortable around people. He
04:46
had a tendency to be more
04:46
aggressive and a tendency to
04:49
kind of come out of his shell so
04:49
to speak, so nobody had ever
04:54
really interacted. My mom I
04:54
guess really had never
04:57
interacted with his
04:57
psychologists or his son. Hyah
05:00
trust growing up and so when we
05:00
as adult children took my dad
05:04
finally, to the doctor within a
05:04
matter of minutes, he was like,
05:08
You know what, this isn't manic
05:08
depressive disorder at all what
05:11
you're talking about is a
05:11
disorder called schizo
05:14
affective, which is in between
05:14
schizophrenia and in between
05:17
bipolar, and it's kind of an
05:17
unknown disorder that they
05:20
don't, they can't really
05:20
characterize too much about, um,
05:24
but it's kind of like he had
05:24
paranoid schizophrenia. So,
05:29
growing up as a kid, it was me
05:29
and my three siblings, like I
05:33
said, my mom overworked I mean,
05:33
my mom was literally working
05:37
somewhere between 60 to 80 hours
05:37
a week, she was nebosh. And my
05:40
dad worked the night shift. So
05:40
during the day, especially like
05:44
summers and weekends, we were
05:44
predominantly with him. But he
05:48
couldn't turn that side of him
05:48
off with us. And so as kids, it
05:53
was, a typical day for us would
05:53
be to wake up in the morning,
05:57
and my dad always slept on the
05:57
couch. I don't know why, but he
06:00
did. And we had to kind of be
06:00
quiet around him, because we
06:04
didn't want to wake him up for
06:04
the fear of what he was going to
06:06
be like that day. And so once he
06:06
eventually got up, the yelling
06:12
basically started that at that
06:12
point, he was stuck in this
06:17
time, where chemically like when
06:17
you when you start to have
06:22
schizophrenia, sometimes there's
06:22
like an event that triggers it,
06:25
right? It's, well, my dad's
06:25
triggering event was getting
06:31
late while crossing a picket
06:31
line, and in a union job that he
06:35
had. And then when he did that,
06:35
the the company, the union got
06:41
really aggressive with him. And
06:41
they threw bricks in our house,
06:44
they threw bricks in our
06:44
windows, I mean, my dad had to
06:47
go night, he had to go to work
06:47
in the trunk of his car, because
06:51
people were embarrassed to take
06:51
him. So like, think about that,
06:54
like mentally, of course, right.
06:54
And so, um, but he was stuck in
07:01
that event, that event had
07:01
happened years and years prior.
07:04
But that's all that he could
07:04
talk about. So he would wake up
07:07
in the morning, and just start
07:07
yelling at us about how every
07:10
nothing that he knows is real,
07:10
that there are aliens in the
07:14
wall that they are watching that
07:14
you have to be careful what you
07:18
say, Be careful what you do,
07:18
because you don't know who's
07:22
going to be listening to you,
07:22
you don't know what they're
07:24
gonna use with that information.
07:24
So like, think about like three
07:27
year old little kids like, Oh,
07:27
my God, somebody's listening to
07:29
us in the wall, right?
07:30  Melissa Bright
Cuz you don't
07:30
know that your dad is
07:32
necessarily nothing?
07:35  Kim
Yeah, wow. So there was
07:35
that portion of it. And then
07:39
there was a lot of
07:39
aggressiveness towards his
07:42
relationship with my mom. So
07:42
oftentimes, as kids, he would
07:45
kind of come at us, and resent
07:45
us a little bit, because he felt
07:49
like his true love was my mom.
07:49
And we kind of had ruined that
07:53
dynamic for him. And so, kids,
07:53
we learned right off the bat
07:58
that not that my dad didn't love
07:58
us, but that he did not love us
08:02
nearly as much as he loved our
08:02
mom and was vocal about that.
08:07
And so it was really tricky,
08:07
because a lot of a lot of what
08:13
he did, I mean, now as an adult,
08:13
I can see he wasn't in control
08:17
of any of this, you know, but as
08:17
a kid, I mean, our reactions
08:21
were pretty visceral to him. We
08:21
didn't want him to be around us,
08:25
we didn't want him to engage in
08:25
our family in any way, shape, or
08:29
form. If we have things that we
08:29
had to do at school or read, at
08:32
the time, we were heavily
08:32
involved at church or whatever
08:34
it was, we did not want him
08:34
coming because we didn't know
08:37
how he was going to react. We
08:37
didn't know what was going to be
08:42
yelling at the top of his lungs
08:42
at about something that happened
08:46
18 years ago. Right, right. And
08:46
so eventually, it got to the
08:50
point where I'm going to go with
08:50
I was probably like, five or six
08:56
years old, I started to and it
08:56
more than just me my other
08:59
siblings were the same way. We
08:59
all thought that my dad was
09:03
likely going to kill us kill us
09:03
or my mom. Because he got so
09:09
violent, because he got so
09:09
aggressive and he he didn't
09:13
really care if we were upset or
09:13
if we were sick. Or if we were
09:18
if even if my mom would ask him
09:18
to stop he didn't care. He
09:21
couldn't stop and so I sleeping
09:21
in my mom's bed with her when I
09:25
was like probably five or six
09:25
because even in my little body,
09:28
I thought that I could protect
09:28
her in some way. Sure. And so
09:32
um, I like one night
09:32
specifically, I can remember my
09:36
dad he again he works at night
09:36
shifts so he would come in or I
09:39
guess it's like second shift. I
09:39
don't know what it is. He would
09:41
come or three in the morning.
09:43  Melissa Bright
Yeah, I don't
09:43
know shift. See that? It's
09:47  Kim
like one o'clock sometimes
09:47
in the night. It just depends
09:49
upon the job that that he was
09:49
on. Yeah, yeah. And um, he came
09:54
home and he would do this all
09:54
the time. We were little and he
09:57
would wake us up in the middle
09:57
of the night screaming because
09:59
he had just gotten off of work,
09:59
he had all this adrenaline and
10:02
he needed to get all of this off
10:02
his chest. And so he pulled the
10:06
pillow out from underneath. He'd
10:06
like slyly walked into my mom's
10:10
room. And I don't know why. But
10:10
I was awake. And I was just
10:13
watching him. And he walked
10:13
around my mom's bed and grabbed
10:16
a pillow out from underneath her
10:16
head and went to go put it over
10:20
her head. And I just started
10:20
screaming at the top of my
10:24
lungs, because you know, I get
10:24
in the room, and you're pretty
10:27
sure you're going to watch your
10:27
dad murder your mom. And
10:31
thankfully, she woke up. But
10:31
then ensued this, this actual
10:35
fight. And he, my dad never hit
10:35
my mom, but he would like chest,
10:39
bump her, and like her in the
10:39
walls and push her into doors
10:42
and whatnot. And so we all
10:42
started getting very scared. And
10:47
my siblings, we all range.
10:47
There's a range of eight years
10:52
between the four of us, okay,
10:52
and so, that night,
10:56
specifically, it got bad enough
10:56
to the point where it was like
10:58
230 in the morning, three
10:58
o'clock in the morning, and my
11:01
mom was like, the kids have to
11:01
go to school in the morning,
11:04
like you have to stop, you've
11:04
been yelling for two hours. And
11:08
we ended up getting packing up
11:08
and getting in my car and
11:11
driving them or my mom's car and
11:11
driving to my aunt's house and
11:14
spending the rest of the night
11:14
at my aunt's house. And then
11:17
like this is the kicker about
11:17
our family is, especially at
11:21
that time, you know, we were
11:21
taught not to talk about our
11:23
feelings, not to talk about our
11:23
experiences, and to assume
11:27
everything's fine. So the notion
11:27
was, things are gonna be shitty
11:30
at home. But pretend that it
11:30
didn't happen. So we have that
11:35
experience, you know, screaming,
11:35
yelling, the whole thing,
11:38
watching all of that happen,
11:38
driving over to my aunt's house,
11:41
waking up, and then going right
11:41
back to school, and acting like
11:46
nothing ever happened. And that
11:46
was pretty much my childhood
11:51
that was consistent all the
11:51
time. There were I mean, I this
11:56
is terribly sad when you think
11:56
about it now. But like I learned
12:00
as a kid, the way that my bet my
12:00
bedroom was set up was that if I
12:03
put a folding door underneath my
12:03
door handle, when my dad would
12:07
open the door, he would open the
12:07
folding chair and the folding
12:12
chair would hit the wall. So he
12:12
couldn't actually physically
12:15
come in my room, but he could
12:15
still yell, but he couldn't be
12:18
in my room yelling. And I
12:18
learned to start doing that. So
12:23
that at least I could try to
12:23
sleep over the yelling at least
12:27
it wasn't right next to my face.
12:27
At least it wasn't right, you
12:29
know, that kind of deal. And so
12:29
yeah, so I mean, it was
12:35
definitely not a typical
12:35
childhood. Oh, no. And so I
12:40
think I grew up, I grew up
12:40
hiding everything about myself.
12:44
I learned right at the
12:44
beginning. I watched at least
12:47
from your child's eye it from a
12:47
child's eyes, I watched all
12:51
these other families seemingly
12:51
have typical families, right.
12:55
And I learned from that age that
12:55
I wasn't enough, because if I
13:00
was enough, I would have had
13:00
this normal Dad, I would have
13:02
had this normal relationship and
13:02
my family would be happy go
13:06
lucky like everybody else.
13:06
Right. And so I internalized
13:10
that, that there was something
13:10
wrong with me that I was not
13:13
worthy enough of having a family
13:13
like this. And that truly that I
13:18
was just meant to suffer. That's
13:18
like the number one thing that I
13:21
learned that my I was meant to
13:21
suffer. That was the lifetime I
13:27
was choosing to live like this
13:27
is how it was going to be, I'm
13:30
always going to have a difficult
13:30
time. Because I always had a
13:34
difficult time as a child,
13:34
right. And so I carried that,
13:38
that belief with me. Through
13:38
young adulthood through even I
13:43
mean, up until recently, to be
13:43
honest, it was something that I
13:46
had to like really sit with
13:46
myself and recognize. That's not
13:51
that was not real, you know, but
13:51
until you become conscious of it
13:54
until you become aware that
13:54
these are the beliefs that you
13:57
created because of your
13:57
experiences. Right? Yep, start
14:00
to address them and break them.
14:00
Right and, and change them and
14:04
rewire them to what really fits
14:04
you. Sure. So yeah, so I mean, I
14:09
took my family was nothing. It
14:09
was not normal. That there is a
14:14
normal, but right.
14:16  Melissa Bright
There's really
14:16
not normal.
14:18  Kim
Yeah, normal. And so it
14:18
really was just learning to hide
14:23
myself. Right? I allowed to
14:23
share what was going on at home.
14:26
I knew that it was shameful. At
14:26
least that's how I perceived it.
14:31
And so I carried this shame with
14:31
me as if it was my fault, right?
14:36
As if this was oh my gosh, I
14:36
can't let anybody know because
14:39
people would be mortified that
14:39
this was what's going on but
14:42
secretly as a kid. I also can
14:42
remember staring at teachers
14:45
just thinking oh my god, well
14:45
one of them asked me if
14:49
everything's okay with somebody
14:49
just asked because I would have
14:54
totally
14:55
told some of them.
14:58
Could adults my parents ended up
14:58
knocking getting divorced until
15:01
I was in my,
15:02
oh gosh,
15:03
I think I think I was like 22,
15:03
maybe 23, something like that.
15:07
And so I, the minute that I
15:07
could get out of my house, I
15:12
did, I went to college and did
15:12
all four years there. And then
15:16
as soon as that was done, I even
15:16
rented a house in that area for
15:20
another year, because I could
15:20
not go back to my house. Yeah.
15:25
And then I had no choice but to
15:25
go back to my house because I
15:29
tore my ACL and I needed help,
15:29
like actually recovering, right,
15:32
her drink. And I ended up
15:32
staying there for a year. And in
15:36
that year, I called the police
15:36
three different times on my dad,
15:39
because I was like, this is it's
15:39
not acceptable. Like, there is a
15:45
point where, you know, as a
15:45
child, I had to deal with your
15:49
aggressiveness. I didn't, you
15:49
throwing stuff all around the
15:52
house. And you can say,
15:56  Melissa Bright
because on this
15:56
podcast, that's fine.
15:58  Kim
You know, like, I had to
15:58
deal with him, like throwing
16:00
shit and ruining stuff and, and
16:00
life in general. And so he he
16:06
occasionally hit us not, not
16:06
crazy, but enough to where it
16:10
wasn't okay. And as a 20 to a 23
16:10
year old. When he hit me, I was
16:15
like, get out of here. This
16:15
isn't me. So I called the police
16:19
a couple different times. And at
16:19
the third time I called the
16:24
police. They were like, there's
16:24
literally nothing we can do
16:27
other than if he gets if he gets
16:27
more aggressive, we can remove
16:31
him from the home for like 24
16:31
hours. But that's all that like
16:33
really happens, right? And so my
16:33
mom finally decided to get a
16:37
divorce at that point. And to be
16:37
honest, her lawyer was like,
16:42
don't call the police anymore,
16:42
because somebody is going to end
16:45
up being responsible for him
16:45
like that. They're going to deem
16:48
him like he can't be cared for.
16:48
And it was just this kind of cop
16:51
mess. And so now here we are
16:51
another 10 years later, truth be
16:57
told, while my dad is in a home
16:57
now, he said many strokes and
17:00
he's met had many issues. So
17:00
he's now in a home. Yeah, it's
17:05
me and my siblings that are
17:05
responsible for him. So we take
17:07
care of him, we maneuver all of
17:07
the all of his bills, all of his
17:12
paperwork, medical, I mean, all
17:12
of that ends up on us now at
17:16
this point. There, I think like
17:16
the way that life has has gone
17:21
for me has so full circle,
17:21
because 10 years ago, there is
17:25
no way in hell, I would have
17:25
been doing this, there's no way
17:29
that I would have helped him get
17:29
out of a house that I would have
17:32
helped him get into a home and
17:32
taking care of him and sat at
17:35
his bedside when he was in a
17:35
hospital, I would have never
17:38
done that,
17:39  Melissa Bright
right.
17:41  Kim
And as crazy as this
17:41
sounds, I know this sounds
17:44
crazy. I'm grateful for how it
17:44
happened, I realized now that it
17:51
had to happen that way, because
17:51
I had to have these experiences,
17:55
to relate to other people to
17:55
have such an empathetic
17:59
standpoint. And to give people
17:59
the benefit of the doubt, right?
18:03
Like, we really truly don't know
18:03
what's going on behind closed
18:07
doors. And I'm a perfect example
18:07
of that. For somebody who's an
18:10
open book 90% of the time, I
18:10
didn't even feel comfortable
18:14
telling anybody about my home
18:14
life until maybe three years
18:18
ago. Right.
18:20  Melissa Bright
So, yeah, so I
18:20
have a couple of follow up
18:24
questions with your with your
18:24
story. So I know that you said
18:27
you grew up in a chaotic life,
18:27
how did that transfer that chaos
18:32
into into your adulthood in
18:32
terms of like the way that you
18:37
lived or the way that you acted
18:37
or stuff like that, because this
18:42
is something that is new to me
18:42
that my my boyfriend has kind of
18:47
brought up because I did grow up
18:47
in a little bit of a chaotic
18:52
life. childhood, I moved 13
18:52
times before I even went to high
18:56
school went to 13 different
18:56
schools. And I didn't think of
19:01
chaos. And then he sometimes
19:01
said he's like, I think you
19:04
thrive on chaos. And I was like,
19:04
You What are you talking about?
19:09
There's no way and then one
19:09
time, and I'll kind of tell the
19:13
story a little bit later, but it
19:13
dawned on me like one time when
19:16
I was in this peaceful place
19:16
like such peace and so happy. I
19:21
was literally looking for
19:21
something to stress me out like
19:25
not that I wanted to be stressed
19:25
out but I was like, something's
19:28
going to happen. Why is life so
19:28
good right now? This is not this
19:32
is not normal? No, this is way
19:32
too weird guys. That's quiet.
19:37
And when I realized that I was
19:37
like, Oh shit. Oh shit,
19:41
Brandon's like kind of right
19:41
like not even knowing we
19:45
sometimes thrive on chaos. So
19:45
that's exactly why I'm asking
19:48
that question because I did not
19:48
make that realization until
19:52
recently. So what did that look
19:52
like for you as an adult?
19:55  Kim
Okay, so alright, so my
19:55
chaotic life right as a kid
19:59
ended up Turning and manifesting
19:59
itself into a chaotic life for
20:03
as a young adult, I got my first
20:03
job when I was like 22 years
20:09
old, and after a year, I became
20:09
the director of a preschool. And
20:15
so I was the director of a
20:15
preschool. That's a full time
20:18
job in and of itself. At the
20:18
same time, I was nannying to
20:22
kids on the side. So every day,
20:22
as soon as I would get done, I
20:25
would then go and watch two kids
20:25
for another four hours a day. In
20:31
the same time, about a year
20:31
later, I added a third job onto
20:34
my plate, and I started working,
20:34
our preschool was housed inside
20:37
of a church and I started
20:37
working if the children well, a
20:41
different position, but I
20:41
started working for the church.
20:43
Sure. Well, before I knew it, I
20:43
was working 60 to 70 hours a
20:48
week, just like my mom did.
20:48
That's what I watched, right.
20:51
And so the truth of it is, our
20:51
bodies become addicted to our
20:56
circumstances, unless you become
20:56
aware of them and can break that
21:00
cycle. So my little body as a
21:00
little girl became addicted to
21:06
chaos, I had to thrive in chaos,
21:06
almost because that's how I had
21:10
to survive. Our bodies like
21:10
familiar patterns, whether
21:13
they're positive or negative,
21:13
doesn't matter. And so even
21:17
though my childhood was crazy,
21:17
and negative, and aggressive,
21:22
and all these different things,
21:22
that's what was familiar to me.
21:25
And so to enter a state of peace
21:25
or happiness or rest, that
21:29
wasn't familiar to me. And that
21:29
shocked my system. And if
21:33
anything, your system will go
21:33
against it as much as it can,
21:37
because it doesn't want to enter
21:37
a new pattern that isn't
21:40
familiar to you. And so, for so
21:40
many of us, you know, trauma
21:46
dictates our life until we stop
21:46
letting it dictate our life,
21:50
right? Absolutely come aware of
21:50
what it created in our lives.
21:56
And when you hear like the term
21:56
manifesting is very, very sexy
22:01
term right now and
22:02  Melissa Bright
everything.
22:02
Yeah, it is talking to
22:04  Kim
manifest your life manifest
22:04
whatever, what we don't realize
22:07
is that we are constantly
22:07
unconsciously manifesting. So
22:11
your reality, you know, are your
22:11
thoughts. It's that subconscious
22:15
mind and your subconscious mind
22:15
is really your inner child. And
22:19
so our inner child is wounded is
22:19
does not feel seen or heard or
22:24
held by you or by anybody, your
22:24
life circumstances are going to
22:28
match what your inner child
22:28
experienced. And so that's what
22:33
it was, I became addicted to the
22:33
chaos, I continued to perpetuate
22:37
that cycle, all while making
22:37
sure that I never looked at my
22:41
inner child or never looked at
22:41
anything. And that's another
22:44
trauma response is buisiness.
22:44
Right? Yeah. Oh, that was me,
22:48
the more busy I stayed, the more
22:48
I didn't have to look at
22:51
anything that ever happened. I
22:51
didn't have to address it. And I
22:53
didn't have to bring it to the
22:53
surface.
22:55  Melissa Bright
Right. Um,
22:57  Kim
and yeah, so I mean, the
22:57
truth is, though, when you start
23:01
to recognize what is going on,
23:01
and you start to realize that a
23:06
lot of your current life
23:06
situations are just manifested
23:09
from this unconscious pattern,
23:09
this unconscious little you
23:13
that's still inside of you. To
23:13
enter that healing journey, you
23:17
need to embark on it so that you
23:17
can actually live the life you
23:20
deserve. Not the life your
23:20
little child thinks. You're
23:24
still in your notice literally.
23:26  Melissa Bright
Yep, absolutely.
23:26
That is, that is amazing. And
23:31
thank you for sharing that.
23:31
Because, you know, a lot of
23:34
people share these similar
23:34
things that happened to you as
23:38
as a child, maybe not on the you
23:38
know, maybe it might not have
23:41
been schizophrenia, but it could
23:41
have been alcoholism, but there
23:44
was violence. So something like
23:44
that. I just really wanted you
23:47
to paint the picture of what it
23:47
looked like as a child, and then
23:51
kind of what it manifested into
23:51
now. And then we'll kind of talk
23:56
about how in what made you
23:56
decide to go on this spiritual
23:59
journey. But now we're going to
23:59
go over to miss Tara cuz she has
24:03
been waiting so patiently.
24:03
Sorry, we were we were on a roll
24:07
there. All right, yeah. It's
24:07
okay. It is totally okay. All
24:13
right. So now I'm going to try
24:13
to do the same thing for Tara
24:15
and I'm gonna explain what Tara
24:15
went through as a child and
24:20
she's going to tell her story
24:20
now. So it says I grew up in an
24:23
environment where I dealt with
24:23
parent to vacation, which I'm
24:29
gonna ask what that is, and
24:29
adult to vacation. also gonna
24:32
ask what that is, and a
24:32
narcissistic stepmom. My
24:36
awakening brought awareness that
24:36
patterns from my childhood kept
24:40
presenting themselves throughout
24:40
my life and I realized that I
24:42
was seeking external validation
24:42
to fill my lack of self love and
24:46
self worth. So first question,
24:46
Tara is can you describe what
24:53
those two words man I'm not even
24:53
gonna freakin Sam again because
24:56
I can say him because I can't
24:56
even say certification
25:01  Tara
when you like when you're
25:01
given the role to make these,
25:05
like parental decisions like for
25:05
your family, right, so maybe so
25:10
like, for me, I'm the oldest
25:10
sibling. And so a lot of the
25:13
responsibility for my younger
25:13
siblings fell on me. So for
25:17
example, like when I was, I
25:17
don't know, maybe like eight,
25:21
nine years old,
25:22
I had a little sister. And so
25:22
she's not, she's nine years
25:27
younger than me. So I was
25:27
probably 10 men, because she had
25:30
one or something, um, I could be
25:30
getting the ages off, but it
25:34
doesn't matter. You know, so my
25:34
mom like at night was like, go
25:39
out on dates and stuff when she
25:39
was divorced, and I would be at
25:42
home and I'd have school the
25:42
next day. And I'd be like,
25:45
staying up, I can remember like,
25:45
laying on the couch, like scared
25:48
to fall asleep watching 90210
25:48
because that's so appropriate.
25:55
watching me being in charge of
25:55
my sister and my brother, who
25:58
was like four years younger than
25:58
me. And so it was like, things
26:01
like that, or being responsible,
26:01
you know, just like taking care
26:04
of the house and doing things
26:04
that, you know, I'm not chores,
26:08
helping out, but like things
26:08
that really shouldn't be placed
26:13
upon the shoulders of a child,
26:13
right? Yep. And then adult
26:16
suffocation is kind of the same
26:16
thing. It's where you're given
26:20
these adult situations and adult
26:20
decisions to make that you
26:26
shouldn't be responsible for,
26:26
there shouldn't be things and
26:29
they're you know, there's,
26:29
there's nothing wrong with treat
26:32
with ever treating like a child,
26:32
you know, wit, like at a mature
26:36
level. But also things that like
26:36
you should know about, you
26:39
shouldn't know, like, all the
26:39
details of divorces, or what
26:43
your, you know, parents are
26:43
doing on the side, like some of
26:46
those things need to remain
26:46
private. And in my own life, it
26:50
really wasn't that way. So my
26:50
parents, my mom and dad got
26:54
married. They were teen parents,
26:54
and they got they got pregnant.
26:59
My mom was 17. Well, she was 16
26:59
when she got pregnant. And so
27:03
um, my parents married then. And
27:03
so a couple they had me a couple
27:07
years later had my brother and
27:07
then they got divorced. So my
27:10
parents divorced when I was by
27:10
the time I was like, five. And
27:14
they both like, at first,
27:14
everything was great. So it was
27:17
like one of those things where
27:17
it you know, it sucks because
27:20
your parents got divorced, but
27:20
they got along and everything
27:23
was fine. And then enter this
27:23
revolving door of step parents.
27:27
So that's where it gets kind of
27:27
crazy. So like my mom remarried,
27:32
almost at the exact same time,
27:32
my dad remarried. And so I have
27:35
a step. Next thing, you know, I
27:35
had a stepdad and a stepmom, and
27:39
then they each each family got
27:39
pregnant. So now I had new
27:42
siblings, so I has, you know, on
27:42
one side of stepsister and a new
27:45
half sister, and on the other
27:45
side, I had two new step
27:48
brothers and a half brother. So
27:48
like when feminists like small,
27:51
like, it was just me and my
27:51
brother. And then next thing,
27:53
you know, it's like, you munch
27:53
on a stick when you're
27:58
playing, and they were all so
27:58
different, and all the
28:00
personalities are different. And
28:00
so, you know, is a child like
28:04
trying to navigate that, and
28:04
when you're the oldest,
28:08
especially you just like carry
28:08
this responsibility. And so you
28:12
feel like, I have to be this
28:12
person for her, this person for
28:16
him this person for her, this
28:16
person for him. And like in
28:19
doing that, I who am I you know,
28:19
you like yourself in doing that,
28:24
and you become get stuck in
28:24
these like patterns of people
28:27
pleasing. Oh, then it was, um,
28:27
my mom ended up divorcing and
28:32
that stepdad. And that's when I
28:32
kind of went through all that
28:36
stuff of like, really taking
28:36
care of like, my younger
28:39
siblings, and all of that. And
28:39
then, at the same time, my dad
28:45
and stepmom had, like, moved out
28:45
of state. And I so desperately
28:50
wanted a normal family just like
28:50
everybody else. And I just
28:55
wanted a mom and a dad and I
28:55
just wanted to like, you know,
28:58
be the center of somebody's
28:58
world. And just to feel like
29:01
somebody really loved me.
29:01
Somebody saw me, right, left my
29:05
mom. And I said, I'm going to go
29:05
live with them. And then I did.
29:09
And in doing that, I'm developed
29:09
an extremely unhealthy
29:16
relationship with my stepmom.
29:16
And she was, I mean, fighting
29:24
her own battles. And in doing
29:24
all of this, she would talk to
29:29
me and treat me almost like a
29:29
friend status as a little kid.
29:34
And I just wanted her approval
29:34
so badly that anything she
29:39
wanted me to do, I would do and
29:39
looking back now I'm like, how
29:44
could I do some of the things I
29:44
knew better but when you are in
29:50
that mindset of just wanting
29:50
that love so badly and just
29:54
wanting to please so badly, you
29:54
do things that you know are
29:58
wrong, so I mean, this is the
29:58
one thing that sticks with me, I
30:02
think the most is that she was
30:02
like, Well, you know, you could
30:06
be my real daughter, and we
30:06
could have this real family. And
30:09
she was like playing on this.
30:09
And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, I
30:12
could, I really could. And she
30:12
made me call my mom and tell her
30:18
that I wanted her to give me up
30:18
for adoption, that I hated her
30:22
that I never wanted to see her
30:22
again. And anything like my mom
30:26
would say, back my mom's like,
30:26
Well, you know, first of all,
30:29
I'm not going to do that. She's
30:29
like, a couple years ago, and
30:32
years from now, you'll be a
30:32
legal adult. And then if that's
30:35
what you want to do, it'll be
30:35
your decision. And I mean, I was
30:37
so mean, like, I you know, I
30:37
hate you, like, you know, you
30:40
don't you like all of these
30:40
horrible, horrible things I
30:44
said, as like, you know, my
30:44
stuff on speeding me all of
30:47
this, right. And, um, and, you
30:47
know, my mom just kind of was
30:51
like, No, like, I'm not doing
30:51
it. And that kind of was it. And
30:55
I cut off my relationship with
30:55
her completely. And I was like,
31:00
I'm not even going to be have
31:00
anything to do with her. I
31:03
didn't go visit her. I didn't
31:03
talk to her. I mean, for years.
31:07
I'm my stepmom. You know, my
31:07
grandparents had made us all of
31:11
the kids grandkids, like photo
31:11
albums that have all the
31:13
pictures, my stepmom had taken
31:13
every picture out, that had my
31:17
mom in it. And she took it, she
31:17
took everything, like if there
31:21
was like stuff that was like me,
31:21
and my dad, my mom, she would
31:23
like rip it so that it was just
31:23
like my dad and me, but not my
31:28
mom would like. And then in the
31:28
meantime, all this is going on,
31:31
but my dad's completely gone. So
31:31
he was very, he's just not
31:36
stable in any sort of not in the
31:36
not in a gentle way. But just
31:42
um, he could never stay put
31:42
anywhere. He have this house,
31:46
we're all settled and whatever.
31:46
And he would always constantly
31:49
find jobs that were in other
31:49
states that were so he was never
31:54
even really even with us. So it
31:54
was just us with my stepmom. And
31:59
um, he you know, he was gone. He
31:59
had no idea what was going on.
32:02
And he was so completely like,
32:02
over the top obsessed with her
32:06
and in love with her that it
32:06
wouldn't have mattered, anything
32:09
that we said anyway, because in
32:09
his eyes, you know, she could do
32:13
no wrong, right? And we lived
32:13
out, like in a country in it,
32:17
where we lived, like all of her
32:17
family, they were all of our
32:20
neighbors. So it was really
32:20
like, it felt like there was no
32:25
way out. And I don't even at the
32:25
time, I was looking for that way
32:28
out initially. But then, as soon
32:28
as I was like old enough, the
32:33
same thing. Like I laughed. And,
32:33
you know, I was I was going to
32:38
school, I was randomly working
32:38
at the airport, and I met my
32:41
husband. And so like right away.
32:41
I was like, This guy is like my
32:47
ticket out here.
32:52
Because he was like, Hey, I
32:53
just got this, you know, we live
32:53
in Illinois. And he was like, I
32:57
just got this job in Wisconsin.
32:57
Do you want to come and I'm
32:59
like, yeah. And like, never
32:59
looked back. And so once I you
33:05
know, got in this relationship,
33:05
this healthy relationship, you
33:07
know, with my future husband, I
33:07
started to like, reintroduce my
33:12
mom into my life and like we
33:12
reconnected and all of that. And
33:16
then we ended up like getting
33:16
married, and we have three kids.
33:20
Um, but that's kind of my story.
33:20
It's not
33:25  Melissa Bright
totally
33:25
different stories, but still
33:27
things things happen. So a
33:27
couple questions for you. When
33:32
did you When did your stepmom
33:32
really, I guess for lack of
33:36
better words, like brainwash you
33:36
to like, you know, not like your
33:40
mom, when did that start? And
33:40
how long did it continue on?
33:43  Tara
So they, I think they must
33:43
have got married, like, I was
33:47
probably like seven ish, okay,
33:47
when they got married. And so
33:52
from like seven to probably like
33:52
12, we just that we would go
33:57
like for weeks in the summer,
33:57
every other weekend, like you're
34:01
in there during the week. And I
34:01
don't know, if it was happening,
34:06
then I feel like probably those
34:06
seeds were being planted here
34:09
and there and hearing there. And
34:09
because she would call and talk
34:12
to me on the phone and stuff
34:12
like that, and always offered
34:15
for me to come stay there. And I
34:15
think that, um, when my mom was
34:22
dating her soon to be husband,
34:22
which ended up being my second
34:26
stepfather. Um, I just didn't
34:26
want to be in that anymore. I
34:31
just wanted something stable.
34:31
And I thought like, you know, in
34:35
my 12 year old brain, that they
34:35
could offer me something stable,
34:40
and I just, I just so badly,
34:40
like, just wanted to be loved
34:44
and I just I didn't feel that I
34:44
just didn't feel that. Right. So
34:49
um, so when I went and stayed
34:49
with them, when I was like 12
34:54
between 12 and 13. It really was
34:54
like full force right then it
34:58
was, it was When I look back at
34:58
it now I can see that it was
35:03
instant and that it was instant
35:03
and that she was constantly
35:07
feeding me things about like,
35:07
why my mom didn't like me why
35:11
she didn't love me like, why I
35:11
needed to be there, you know,
35:14
and I'm listening and taking all
35:14
of this in and it just became
35:18
her thoughts or her words became
35:18
my thoughts.
35:21  Melissa Bright
Right. Wow. So
35:21
are you is your dad still
35:24
married to her? No,
35:26  Tara
but they just divorced.
35:26
Oh, my gosh, maybe like, a
35:30
couple years ago. Okay. They
35:30
were married for a really long
35:33
time. And once I'm actually once
35:33
I met my husband, he met my
35:38
stepmom maybe one time and he
35:38
was like, Hell, no, I am never
35:43
gonna be around her. We were
35:43
done. And I packed my stuff. And
35:46
I never went back. I never saw
35:46
her again. And that was my
35:51
fault. I never saw her again.
35:51
And so I'm here he because he
35:56
was like, No, he, I mean, he
35:56
right. It's crazy. Because, you
36:00
know, like, from an outsider
36:00
point of view, one time and I
36:03
never talked about her or
36:03
anything. But he met her one
36:06
time and was like, absolutely
36:06
not like this is not happening.
36:09
And I was
36:11  Melissa Bright
you know,
36:11
doesn't it? Doesn't it make you
36:14
like now looking back on like,
36:14
say certain times certain days
36:19
times, you're with her that
36:19
you'll think of a time that she
36:22
did something? And you're like,
36:22
How the hell did I not catch on
36:25
to what she was doing?
36:27  Tara
Absolutely. But here's the
36:27
crazy part. So a lot of like,
36:31
the really like, the really
36:31
damaging stuff that she did. A
36:36
lot of it happened as I was like
36:36
an older teenager, right? When I
36:39
was like 15 to like 18. And it's
36:39
funny because just in doing my
36:47
own, like inner child work and
36:47
Shadow Work and stuff like that,
36:50
I'm just starting to remember
36:50
pieces, or like every now and
36:52
then I'll get a glimpse of
36:52
something and I'll like call my
36:55
mom. And I'll say Did you know
36:55
Did this ever happen or whatever
36:58
and and talking it out, like
36:58
going through these stories or
37:02
whatever. I'm like, Oh my gosh,
37:02
like I just remembered this
37:06
happened. And this happened. And
37:06
this happened. And you would
37:09
think because like it was so
37:09
late in my teens, like
37:12
everything would be right on the
37:12
tip of my tongue. Like right
37:15
there easily easy to access. And
37:15
I, I think because I've been so
37:20
ashamed of like my behavior of
37:20
how easily I was influenced that
37:27
I've just like, really, like,
37:27
blocked all of that. And so it's
37:31
like, slowly coming out. And I'm
37:31
like working through it and
37:34
accepting but it's like, really,
37:34
it's really hard. Because for
37:38
me, I look at it like, Well,
37:38
yes, technically, I was a kid. I
37:43
wasn't like five, so I feel like
37:43
I should have known better. But
37:47
reality is like it's truly not
37:47
my fault. I did not I didn't
37:52
know any better because I just
37:52
wanted that I just wanted to be
37:55
loved so badly, right? That I
37:55
was willing to do anything and
37:59
then looking at anything going
37:59
forward. Um, I wasn't able to
38:05
accept love really from anybody
38:05
until I mean fairly recently.
38:10
Because that's a huge, like that
38:10
feeling of not being worthy. Not
38:15
being enough, like not being
38:15
able to accept unconditional
38:19
love. Like that's been a huge,
38:19
huge issue for me.
38:25  Melissa Bright
So, can you
38:25
pinpoint not a time but why do
38:30
you think because with your
38:30
stepmom wanting to be such a
38:35
part of your life, even though
38:35
it wasn't the right thing that
38:37
she was doing. She did make you
38:37
I'm assuming feel loved and feel
38:42
like you were the center of the
38:42
universe. So how did that
38:45
transpire into you not feeling
38:45
like you could be loved by
38:50
people. Thank you to better help
38:50
for sponsoring this podcast. I
38:55
have been using better help for
38:55
almost a year now. And the
38:58
progress that I have made in my
38:58
mental health has been
39:01
incredible. I just want to tell
39:01
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39:05
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40:01
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better help.com forward slash b,
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r i, g, h t side of life, the
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link will also be in the
40:16
description section of this
40:16
episode.
40:19  Tara
Because I think that I
40:19
will, because I was only getting
40:22
that from her first of all, and
40:22
I think that because part of me
40:27
knew how I mean, I felt icky,
40:27
even in doing all of those
40:31
things. I didn't feel good. I
40:31
didn't feel like you know, I was
40:36
I was so upset with my mom.
40:36
Like, at that time, you know, we
40:39
were just, we we got through
40:39
that phase where we, you know,
40:42
we just didn't get along. And,
40:42
you know, she was like, married
40:45
to this new guy. And she had
40:45
been before that was like,
40:47
dating all the time. And I
40:47
wanted that stability. I wanted
40:52
those feelings. And I didn't get
40:52
that like she was are already
40:56
from my mom, I was having that
40:56
disconnect. Because I mean, she
41:00
was going through her own things
41:00
of just even from being like a
41:05
teen mom and trying to how did
41:05
that work? Like I looking at it
41:10
now I feel like she probably was
41:10
like, projecting on to me that I
41:16
took away her childhood kind of
41:16
thing. And so we were not
41:21
getting along. My dad was never
41:21
around. So I just had these
41:25
brothers that I was constantly
41:25
in charge of taking care of I
41:29
was in charge of doing all of
41:29
these things and getting from
41:33
her. It wasn't she was making me
41:33
feel like happy because I was
41:38
pleasing her. I couldn't ever be
41:38
myself or speak anything that I
41:44
thought and at the same time
41:44
while she was saying all those
41:46
things. She was also telling me
41:46
you know, well, everybody thinks
41:50
you're annoying. You're really
41:50
stupid. You're so ugly you
41:53
should do with it. You know,
41:53
like constantly saying all these
41:56
things, too. So while Yes, she's
41:56
giving me those pieces when I'm
42:01
following her instructions. On
42:01
the flip side when I'm not
42:05
there's all the negative side.
42:05
Right?
42:07  Melissa Bright
What is your mom
42:07
or stepmom? my stepmom your
42:09
stepmom? Yeah. Wow,
42:12  Kim
well, I'm gonna just say
42:12
that the two because basically I
42:15
think what you got from your,
42:15
from your stepmom you were
42:18
hoping to receive by conditional
42:18
love and what you write was
42:21
conditional Yes. Love which
42:21
further perpetuated your belief
42:26
that you didn't deserve
42:26
unconditional exam?
42:29  Melissa Bright
Yeah. Okay.
42:29
Okay. That makes that makes a
42:33
lot of sense. Okay, so now that
42:33
we have a background of, you
42:37
know, your guys's childhood and
42:37
how that transpired into the way
42:41
that and beliefs that you formed
42:41
older, as older adults. Now I
42:45
want to get into and we can just
42:45
kind of quickly touch base on
42:48
how you two met each other.
42:48
What, you know, what, what kind
42:52
of job you were doing. Um, so
42:52
whoever wants to take that I
42:56
don't care. You can guys kind of
42:56
both take whoever. Okay. Oh,
43:02  Kim
like I said earlier, I
43:02
became a director of a preschool
43:05
and I worked there for a total
43:05
of 11 years. And Tara ended up
43:10
coming in as her daughter was
43:10
entering our three year old
43:14
program, okay. And her daughter
43:14
came to school for two years
43:18
with us, and then was going to
43:18
kindergarten and she was Tara
43:21
was looking for a job. And so we
43:21
needed a new preschool assistant
43:24
teacher at the time. And so we
43:24
hired Tara on. So Tara and I
43:27
worked together. At the
43:27
preschool for six years, Tara
43:33
and I became fast friends, like,
43:33
even before she started working
43:39
there I was I always developed
43:39
really deep relationships, not
43:43
realize this about myself. But
43:43
I've always loved to deep
43:47
relationships with work closely
43:47
with and so I Tara and I just
43:52
had a very different
43:52
relationship from the beginning.
43:54
And as time went on, we started
43:54
to realize there were a lot of
43:58
similarities between the two of
43:58
us, but we were so this is
44:01
crazy. We were so unconscious at
44:01
the time about everything that
44:05
we did, we weren't able to
44:05
connect anything. And when we
44:08
didn't realize that we liked
44:08
each other's energy. And now
44:11
where we're at, we see that this
44:11
is a match for us. It's a
44:16
business match for sure, the way
44:16
that we both operate and how we
44:20
work with clients. But through
44:20
our through everything that
44:25
happened at the school together,
44:25
and then recognizing how that
44:29
pattern was kind of similar to
44:29
our childhood. And we underwent
44:33
a spiritual awakening at the
44:33
same time. And so that kind of
44:38
propelled us and pushed us on
44:38
this journey. It accelerated
44:43
this journey like crazy. So I
44:43
guess it's kind of like how we
44:48
met. Okay, and what really
44:48
happened or what transpired is,
44:52
we were working at the school
44:52
and we thought that we were
44:54
super fulfilled. We thought that
44:54
this was it like I cannot even
44:57
begin to tell you how much we
44:57
were Positive that we were doing
45:01
exactly what we needed to do
45:01
everything about it. And when
45:07
COVID hit our school moved to an
45:07
online platform for just the
45:11
remainder of the year, and then
45:11
over summer, we both were
45:15
looking at each other like you
45:15
want to start a podcast. We've
45:17
always wanted to do a podcast,
45:17
let's do a podcast. And we were
45:21
into murder mystery, like into
45:21
Yes, yeah, right. Crime junkie.
45:25
Oh, yes. Yes. Right. And so for
45:25
years, we had been saying, we
45:30
were gonna start I have no idea
45:30
how this event we still aren't
45:36
like, this is where like, some
45:36
of our beliefs like really are
45:39
deep rooted beliefs. Now our
45:39
core beliefs that have come
45:42
from, we have no idea why but we
45:42
started a podcast called
45:45
unapologetically you. Okay,
45:45
weekly opposite of crime junkie,
45:50
right? Yeah. Um, we were
45:50
interviewing people very similar
45:55
to this having other stories and
45:55
talk about where, where their
45:59
journey took them and where
45:59
they're at now and what they're
46:02
doing with it. And then we
46:02
eventually ended up bringing in
46:05
holistic therapists, and
46:05
holistic counselors, and just
46:10
different types of healing
46:10
modalities. From that, we
46:16
totally our minds were blown,
46:16
and we entered the spiritual
46:19
awakening. And, um, we have been
46:19
on a self help personal
46:24
development journey for at least
46:24
the last three years prior to
46:27
all of us. And we were, you
46:27
know, doing guided journals, we
46:30
were taking care of our bodies,
46:30
we were trying to eat better
46:32
trying to, you know, move
46:32
ourselves and all that kind of
46:35
good stuff. But we were weren't
46:35
really diving into the self
46:40
discovery or soul discovery is
46:40
what we like to call it. And so,
46:45
we underwent this spiritual
46:45
awakening, which was completely
46:51
hard. I mean, sexual awakening
46:51
is not for the faint of heart, I
46:56
mean, it, it really is truly
46:56
difficult. And I think depending
47:00
upon your level of consciousness
47:00
determines, determines where you
47:04
what you would consider that
47:04
moment for you. For some people,
47:07
they would just call it a
47:07
healing journey and say, that's
47:09
it. And for other people,
47:09
depending upon how deep they go
47:12
into it would recognize No, it's
47:12
a spiritual journey, healing
47:15
journeys, and spiritual journeys
47:15
are absolutely one in the same.
47:19
It's just where you're at
47:19
consciousness wise. And as you
47:22
continue to develop and become
47:22
more and more conscious, you
47:25
recognize that this is a
47:25
spiritual journey, that you are
47:28
diving deep inside of yourself.
47:28
And while you're diving deep
47:31
inside of yourself, you realize
47:31
you are so deeply connected to
47:36
this earth to other humans to
47:36
everything that ever was, and
47:41
ever is.
47:43
And so through that we started
47:43
taking, we went to every type of
47:51
Portal counselor, we went to
47:51
every type of healing session
47:53
that you could, um, we started
47:53
getting certified in different
47:57
modalities and recognized that,
47:57
while we thought we were
48:03
fulfilled previously, it's
48:03
because there was only a small
48:07
portion of it that was being
48:07
fulfilled. And it was in the
48:10
dynamic in the relationships
48:10
that we built with, with adults,
48:14
basically, at this present with
48:14
the families, and helping these
48:19
families kind of navigate.
48:19
They're their family, they're
48:24
your own lives, right. And we we
48:24
went above and beyond at the
48:28
time really engaging with all of
48:28
these families and getting to
48:31
know these moms who just needed
48:31
an outlet or needed somebody to
48:35
coach them through that moment
48:35
of time, right. And we realize
48:40
this is what we were called to
48:40
do, we were called in are called
48:45
to help people navigate their
48:45
spiritual journeys, and help
48:48
people learn to maneuver the ins
48:48
and outs of what this looks like
48:55
so that they can learn to really
48:55
stand in their higher self and
48:59
stand in this person. They were
48:59
always meant to be before life
49:04
got its hands on you right now.
49:04
It's variances until we become
49:08
conscious of it. Our experiences
49:08
do dictate us they do we allow
49:13
them to define us, right? Or
49:13
have to, and well, really
49:18
unpeeling and uncovering all
49:18
these layers about ourselves and
49:21
our belief systems that we've
49:21
that we've created. Right,
49:24
right. Yeah. That that's how
49:24
your spiritual journey and your
49:29
healing journey begins and get
49:29
to this point where eventually
49:33
you just become this witness of
49:33
your life. Right? And you see
49:38
that everything that's happening
49:38
is happening for you. The
49:42
universe is here to work with
49:42
you and for you, and wants you
49:47
to be guided into this higher
49:47
whole version of yourself that
49:51
already exists.
49:53  Melissa Bright
Yes. You worded
49:53
that so so perfectly. And that's
49:57
like a perfect segue into all
49:57
the fun questions I'm about I'm
50:01
about to ask you guys. So you
50:01
already answered a couple
50:06
questions. Um, you know, in
50:06
terms of So first, okay, well to
50:11
start here. So your business is
50:11
called soulful healers and you
50:17
guys are spiritual empowerment
50:17
coaches. Yes. And what you do is
50:22
you help all souls embody their
50:22
highest self using holistic
50:27
healing practices and spiritual
50:27
transformation. So, a little
50:32
bit, you kind of already
50:32
explained like, what a spiritual
50:35
journey was. And I guess the
50:35
first question that I have, for
50:40
what whoever wants to answer
50:40
this is, how can people know
50:45
that they that they might even
50:45
be on one before really
50:48
realizing it? And I'm asking all
50:48
these questions and kind of a
50:52
selfish sense, because a lot of
50:52
you know, I've already had the
50:56
rapid transformational
50:56
therapist, which is all about
50:59
energy and becoming, you know,
50:59
self aware, all your
51:02
subconscious, all that stuff.
51:02
And so now I'm like, how long
51:06
have I maybe been on the
51:06
spiritual journey, you know,
51:09
when I when I hear about, like,
51:09
spiritual, and please do not
51:14
take offense to this, but I'm
51:14
totally thinking about like,
51:18
sage waving around and like, all
51:18
this stuff. And I'm like, I
51:22
don't really know if that's like
51:22
who I am. But I definitely
51:25
believe in like energies and
51:25
stuff like that. So I just don't
51:29
want people to like be turned
51:29
off or like freaked out or like,
51:33
that's totally not me. Because
51:33
you could be on a spiritual
51:36
journey and not realize it like
51:36
you don't have to like, yeah,
51:40
people just kind of like hear
51:40
something and they think that's
51:42
like what it is. So, now that
51:42
I've just explained all of that,
51:47
how can people know that they
51:47
might be on one? Well, there's
51:49  Kim
one thing that I want to
51:49
say first, it's interesting that
51:51
you said that, like you think of
51:51
the sage aspect of it, but we
51:54
get a lot of times to is that's
51:54
one way that's absolutely, you
51:57
know, mainstream media you got
51:57
and put spirituality with
52:00
crystals and sage, right? Yep,
52:00
yep. Okay. And then there's
52:03
another side of it that we get
52:03
often that means you must be
52:07
affiliated with a religion.
52:07
Yeah, you're talking about this
52:11
religious background and like
52:11
diving deep into the Bible, and
52:13
then to God. And what we want to
52:13
say is spirituality is somewhere
52:18
in between. Yeah, um, I think
52:18
that if the more we try to box
52:24
ourselves into terms and attach
52:24
ourselves to certain labels,
52:27
we're not doing ourselves. We're
52:27
doing ourselves a disservice by
52:30
doing that, because we're
52:30
spiritual journey, your healing
52:33
journey will look entirely
52:33
different. And whether that
52:36
means that you are affiliated
52:36
with a religion or whether that
52:40
means you are full blown into
52:40
crystals, and you are dancing
52:43
under the moon. Right. You know,
52:43
what feels right for you? Yeah,
52:49  Melissa Bright
yeah. So okay,
52:49
so that portion? Yeah,
52:52  Tara
I think, to know, or to if
52:52
you're, you asked if you How
52:57
would you know, if you're like
52:57
beginning this journey, I think
52:59
that like, the biggest thing is,
52:59
if you feel like there's
53:03
something more like there's
53:03
something more than just what is
53:07
happening right now. I think
53:07
that's a sign that you're either
53:11
already on it, or you're ready
53:11
to begin.
53:13  Kim
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think
53:13
honestly, just anybody, like, if
53:17
I look at it, like, what back in
53:17
the day, when we first started
53:20
ours, simply we were trying to
53:20
know who we were a little bit
53:24
more.
53:24  Melissa Bright
Yep. Yep.
53:26  Kim
Start to dive or when
53:26
you're curious, like, you know
53:29
what, like, why do I do that? Or
53:29
how do I change that? why it
53:35
happened to me, why does this
53:35
keep happening? Yeah, you know,
53:38
like, those are all moments
53:38
where you don't realize what
53:42
you're embarking on. And whether
53:42
you believe in God, universe
53:47
source, whatever you want to
53:47
call it. It all happens in
53:50
divine timing, when you are
53:50
ready to embark on this journey.
53:55
And sometimes everything that's
53:55
happened to us prior to that
54:00
makes it impossible to think
54:00
that there's something bigger
54:04
and better out there for you.
54:04
Right? Yeah, but the truth is,
54:08
there is and it's available at
54:08
your fingertips. You just have
54:12
to actually want to get your
54:12
hands dirty. You have to
54:15
actually want to participate in
54:15
this because this is such an
54:21
interactive, oh my gosh, it's
54:21
all over you type of journey. I
54:25
mean, there's no part of you
54:25
that's going to be left
54:27
uncovered. Your your deepest,
54:27
darkest secrets are gonna come
54:31
out the things that you are not
54:31
proud about things that you love
54:35
about yourself, but you don't
54:35
want to admit it, it jumps it
54:40
all jumps out at you. And it's
54:40
an all encompassing journey.
54:43  Melissa Bright
Yeah.
54:44  Kim
But it's beautiful. I mean,
54:44
like Park, even the dark times.
54:49
When you look at it, it's such a
54:49
it's such a cool thing to
54:53
recognize that it's your time,
54:53
right? Like this is happening
54:58
for you like it It's it's your
54:58
turn and that right? freakin
55:03
cool.
55:03  Melissa Bright
Yeah, it is
55:03
awesome. And I'll tell you like
55:07
a little bit with my journey.
55:07
Just a little quick background
55:11
for me. So last year COVID hit,
55:11
I was a travel agent travel
55:16
completely like when nobody was
55:16
doing travel anymore. And so I
55:20
was listening to I got like
55:20
really, really depressed because
55:24
I would attach all all my self
55:24
worth on productiveness money,
55:30
all of that stuff. So a lot of
55:30
people do everybody, like do
55:34
that. So when last year COVID
55:34
hit, we all kind of lost our
55:37
identities are like, Who are we?
55:37
What are we doing? So, I was
55:41
listening to a podcast and I've
55:41
told this story several times on
55:45
here. I was listening to Jay
55:45
Shetty, his podcast, and he had
55:49
Debra Messing, and Madonna,
55:49
Madonna. I don't, not them, but
55:54
not a singer, another lady. I
55:54
really got to figure out who she
55:57
is. And one of them I couldn't
55:57
tell who was who was talking
56:01
about how they found their
56:01
purpose. And they said, whenever
56:05
you look out into the world, and
56:05
something hurts your heart. And
56:10
you ask yourself, like what
56:10
makes your heart hurt when you
56:13
whenever you look out into the
56:13
world? And then once you come up
56:17
with that answer, you then say,
56:17
Okay, well, what can I do to
56:21
make this world better? Like,
56:21
what can I do? And she's like,
56:25
and when I answered both of
56:25
those questions, I found out my
56:27
purpose. So I was like, okay, is
56:27
it really just that simple to
56:31
figure out my purpose? So I was
56:31
like, Well, what what makes me
56:35
sad when I look out into the
56:35
world, and honestly, what made
56:38
me sad was an exact reflection
56:38
of myself was me sitting on a
56:42
couch during COVID being so
56:42
depressed, crying, because I
56:46
felt like I was worthless. I
56:46
wasn't helped contributing money
56:49
to my family. And I just felt
56:49
like shit. And I felt like I was
56:53
the only one in the world
56:53
experiencing this, even though I
56:55
know I wasn't. So what made my
56:55
heart hurt? Was people feeling
56:59
alone in the world. Yeah. So
56:59
then the next question was, how
57:03
am I going to then solve this
57:03
solution? And I was like, What
57:06
am I good at? I'm good at
57:06
talking to people and having
57:10
deep conversation, I am so
57:10
curious on how people got from
57:14
here to where they are, and why
57:14
they operate in the way that
57:17
they do. So I was like, well, I
57:17
love podcasts. So why not have a
57:23
podcast getting to have deep
57:23
conversations with people in
57:26
this way? Instead of surface
57:26
level? How's the weather? How's
57:30
your kids? How's the wife? Know,
57:30
I want to have like, real deep?
57:34
Why do you Why do you behave
57:34
this way? Why did you get
57:37
addicted to drugs, so on and so
57:37
forth. So I say all of that,
57:41
too. That was really the first
57:41
thing that I had to do to become
57:45
aware of everything. And then to
57:45
part, that's when I kind of
57:48
started therapy and all of that,
57:48
but I feel that I have been on
57:54
this spiritual journey a lot
57:54
longer than I realized, because
57:58
now I'm getting more education
57:58
about the energies and the
58:01
subconscious mind and all that
58:01
stuff. And I was like, Wow, my
58:04
healing journey that I've been
58:04
on through therapy has actually
58:07
been the spiritual journey.
58:07
Also,
58:10  Kim
yes. And it's really it's a
58:10
spiritual journey back to you.
58:15
Yeah. To your true self. Yep.
58:15
And I mean, we can talk about,
58:19
you know, beliefs and, and all
58:19
of that, but the truth is, is we
58:23
as humans are our, our natural
58:23
state is to be conditioned,
58:27
right? happens to us, without us
58:27
even recognizing it. We are
58:31
conditioned by our parents, by
58:31
lovers, by our friends, by our
58:36
school system, by society, by
58:36
our churches, by our
58:39
communities, anything and
58:39
everything conditions you and it
58:43
forces you to create these
58:43
belief systems. And in the end,
58:47
they're generally limited belief
58:47
systems. Yeah. And perpetuates
58:52
our cycles of who we are over
58:52
and over and over again. And
58:56
when you enter a spiritual
58:56
journey, what you're starting to
58:59
do is break that the confines of
58:59
that right yeah, you're so like,
59:04
so to speak. There's there's a
59:04
lot of metaphors out there about
59:07
being chained to it that were
59:07
being chained. And so you're
59:10
breaking free essentially,
59:10
you're deconditioning you're
59:14
that's that's called the
59:14
deconditioning process was fun
59:16
was fun fact, they talked about
59:16
it taking seven years. It's a
59:19
seven year cycle Jesus. And the
59:19
great about that is that you get
59:27
to that end of the seven years,
59:27
guess what, there's more
59:29
deconditioning that has to be
59:29
done because you're in a
59:31
physical body and we've got
59:31
these brains that that's how
59:34
they operate. Right? And so for
59:34
us it's it's this deeper knowing
59:39
of I know for a lot of people
59:39
they're going to be like what,
59:43
but we are not this body right
59:43
you know, like if you if you
59:48
start to talk to spiritual
59:48
teachers and people that you
59:51
would deem enlightened, let's go
59:51
ahead and say they talk about
59:54
how you're not your thoughts,
59:54
right? You are that those don't
59:59
actually represent who you are.
59:59
And the more that you dive deep
1:00:02
into that, and contemplate that
1:00:02
really realize that you're the
1:00:09
one that hears the thoughts,
1:00:09
you're the ones that is
1:00:12
observing everything going on.
1:00:12
So that must mean there's
1:00:15
something else inside of you,
1:00:15
that is you. And it's not just
1:00:20
being chained to this brain into
1:00:20
these thoughts. And when you
1:00:24
become the observer, and you
1:00:24
witness it, that's how you start
1:00:28
to flow through life a little
1:00:28
bit better and navigate it,
1:00:31
because you're sitting in that
1:00:31
moment, even if you're having a
1:00:33
hard day, you can sit there and
1:00:33
eventually get to the point of
1:00:35
God, my mind is coming up with
1:00:35
some crazy thoughts today. Yep,
1:00:39
they're not mine. And you start
1:00:39
to realize, Oh, my gosh, I would
1:00:43
never want to think about myself
1:00:43
that way. I deserve better. You
1:00:47
deserve better. Yeah, well, just
1:00:47
completely made of love. And are
1:00:53
these divine beings that have
1:00:53
the ability to create the life
1:00:57
that we desire, we have to take
1:00:57
our power back and start
1:01:01
actually creating that life we
1:01:01
desire instead of living what
1:01:04
we've been confined to. Right,
1:01:06  Melissa Bright
right. And the
1:01:06
thoughts like, gosh, man, there
1:01:09
are so many cliche, cliche,
1:01:09
quotes and sayings, about our
1:01:14
mind and about our thoughts. And
1:01:14
I'm really, really working on
1:01:18
the whole thoughts, because
1:01:18
you're right, it's, it's kind of
1:01:21
taking a step back and seeing
1:01:21
these thoughts. And let's say,
1:01:25
for instance, me and my
1:01:25
daughter, like, have a
1:01:30
conversation and, and I get sad
1:01:30
about something because I all of
1:01:33
a sudden think that's the
1:01:33
reality, I have to take a step
1:01:37
back and be like, no, that's
1:01:37
just simply a thought thought
1:01:40
does not equal equal reality.
1:01:40
And I made a post about it on
1:01:43
Instagram recently, like,
1:01:43
there's a lot of comfort and
1:01:46
knowing that these thoughts
1:01:46
don't always reflect that this
1:01:49
is truly what's happening in
1:01:49
reality, it could be based on so
1:01:53
many different things on what
1:01:53
you personally believe on your
1:01:56
experiences that you've
1:01:56
experienced. But all these
1:02:00
different factors, just doesn't
1:02:00
necessarily make it a reality.
1:02:05
And that's comforting. And for
1:02:05
me, because I'm like, shit,
1:02:09
it's, it's just a thought it can
1:02:09
come and go, and it doesn't have
1:02:12
to shape things. And I, I'm just
1:02:12
finding a lot of comfort in
1:02:16
that. Because normally, I would
1:02:16
let a lot of people just let
1:02:20
thoughts rule their whole life
1:02:20
and let it become the reality
1:02:23
and let all this outside
1:02:23
influence just run their lives.
1:02:28
And then, you know, by the time
1:02:28
that they're 40 5060, and
1:02:31
they're like, wow, I haven't
1:02:31
even been living. For myself,
1:02:34
I've been living according to
1:02:34
everybody else's. Yeah. Rules,
1:02:41
if you will, you know, society
1:02:41
says I have to work a nine to
1:02:44
five society says that you have
1:02:44
to have a white picket fence
1:02:47
society says that you have to be
1:02:47
rich society says that you have
1:02:50
to be married and you can't get
1:02:50
to whatever it is, so on and so
1:02:53
forth. So I'm kind of going on a
1:02:53
tangent, but it's just, yeah,
1:02:58
it's amazing. Okay, so let's,
1:02:58
let's move on a little bit. I've
1:03:03
already asked that question. So
1:03:03
I think we Okay, what does it
1:03:08
mean to be? And I know, we've
1:03:08
touched a little bit on this,
1:03:11
but what does it mean to be the
1:03:11
highest version of yourself? And
1:03:15
what makes that different than
1:03:15
being just the best person you
1:03:19
can be? I like the fact that it
1:03:19
says highest version of
1:03:23
yourself. So whoever wants to
1:03:23
answer that, so I cannot stop
1:03:27
talking. I like this is my jam.
1:03:27
Oh, you guys can both also
1:03:32
answer like if you have
1:03:32
something that you want to add
1:03:34
to it, Tara, please feel free.
1:03:34
You guys know each other way
1:03:37
better. Just
1:03:38  Tara
Yeah. I always jump in
1:03:38
with whenever she leaves, if
1:03:41
there's something she forgets,
1:03:41
don't worry. Perfect. Perfect.
1:03:45  Kim
You have it this way, your
1:03:45
higher self already exists. We
1:03:49
live in a quantum reality where
1:03:49
time is it? Not like linear
1:03:57
really. And so your higher self,
1:03:57
that future self of you that one
1:04:02
that whatever, whatever it is
1:04:02
that you're trying to do,
1:04:05
whether it's to be more
1:04:05
confident, whether it's a better
1:04:07
mom, whether it's to build this
1:04:07
business that you desire,
1:04:11
whatever that is, that version
1:04:11
of you already exists. And
1:04:16
you'll hear so often so many
1:04:16
people just say, well, all you
1:04:19
have to do is embody her, you
1:04:19
have to what does she do for
1:04:22
what's her day to day look like,
1:04:22
start to live that How does she
1:04:25
interact with people start to
1:04:25
live that. But the truth is, is
1:04:29
it's not just that it's
1:04:29
embodying that feeling, and
1:04:33
embodying what that person that
1:04:33
at that time truly will feel
1:04:38
like. So if you finally get that
1:04:38
business, or you finally are the
1:04:42
better mom that you've always
1:04:42
desired to be, what will you
1:04:46
feel like right and stepping
1:04:46
into that means that you become
1:04:52
the fullest expression of you in
1:04:52
that moment, and you get to tap
1:04:58
into this higher version. Have
1:04:58
yourself and and literally
1:05:01
consciously ask yourself in the
1:05:01
moment, is this what my higher
1:05:05
self would do? Is this the
1:05:05
decision that my highest self
1:05:08
would make? So when, when you're
1:05:08
in that fear base moment of
1:05:11
like, Oh my god, I can't do
1:05:11
this, this is scary, I can't go
1:05:14
live, I can't do this, you have
1:05:14
to sit there and say, is this
1:05:17
higher? Is this what my higher
1:05:17
self would do. And as you start
1:05:22
to jump and take those leaps and
1:05:22
jump into what that higher
1:05:25
version of you will do, you
1:05:25
start to become her or him. And
1:05:30
you start to really embody this
1:05:30
person that you were always
1:05:33
meant to be the trajectory of
1:05:33
your life is for you to continue
1:05:36
to grow. That's your, and when
1:05:36
you start to grow into this
1:05:42
newer version of you guess what
1:05:42
the next new higher version of
1:05:45
you already exists, and you're
1:05:45
constantly evolving into this
1:05:50
version of you, it doesn't mean
1:05:50
that like you have this morning
1:05:53
routine, it doesn't mean that
1:05:53
you are the volunteer on
1:05:55
everything. It doesn't mean what
1:05:55
it doesn't have to mean any of
1:05:58
that. It means embodying the
1:05:58
fullest expression of you of who
1:06:02
you desire to be at your core.
1:06:02
And the truth is, becoming your
1:06:07
higher self is a spiritual
1:06:07
journey. Because most of us have
1:06:11
no idea who we are at our core.
1:06:11
We have, we've been you know,
1:06:15
we've got all these like
1:06:15
handprints and footprints all
1:06:18
over us from life from different
1:06:18
experiences and from people that
1:06:23
we forgot long ago, who we
1:06:23
really are. And so when you're
1:06:27
on this healing, spiritual
1:06:27
journey, becoming your higher
1:06:30
self, it's really uncovering and
1:06:30
unpacking all of the shift
1:06:33
that's happened to you. And
1:06:33
getting back to your true
1:06:36
essence. And diving in and
1:06:36
leaning into what that feels
1:06:41
like. And what you want to bring
1:06:41
to life in this world. What you
1:06:46
are called to live as an
1:06:46
embodied in this world. Yeah,
1:06:50  Tara
so I know like, for me,
1:06:50
when I'm embodying my highest
1:06:53
self, it's when I'm feeling my
1:06:53
feeling. That's when I'm
1:06:56
trusting my intuition. And
1:06:56
that's when I'm just listening,
1:07:00
like stopping and listening and
1:07:00
connecting. That's how I know
1:07:04
that I'm embodying my highest
1:07:04
self. Right?
1:07:06  Melissa Bright
Yeah. So when
1:07:06
you say that, Tara, how does one
1:07:12
listen to their selves? How can
1:07:12
they separate what because I
1:07:16
know there's ego, and then
1:07:16
there's your subconscious and
1:07:19
all that stuff? You guys know,
1:07:19
way better. But how do you know
1:07:23
what what is the difference?
1:07:23
Like when people are like, What
1:07:25
do you mean, listen to yourself?
1:07:25
What does that mean? Because a
1:07:29
lot of times, when you want to
1:07:29
go do something, like let's say,
1:07:32
we're talking about going live,
1:07:32
like say somebody has a really
1:07:35
big fear about going live, and
1:07:35
they're like, No, I can't do it,
1:07:39
I'm gonna mess up, I'm gonna
1:07:39
look stupid, I'm gonna look
1:07:41
silly people are gonna make fun
1:07:41
of me. How do you know how to
1:07:46
listen to yourself? Share what
1:07:46
that actually sounds like.
1:07:49  Tara
So we say this a lot. So,
1:07:49
all the time, we're all making
1:07:53
these decisions with our minds
1:07:53
with our heads, right? So it's
1:07:56
about stepping outside of that,
1:07:56
and like feeling into your heart
1:08:00
and making decisions from your
1:08:00
heart, like, step out of your
1:08:04
head. Don't think about it. But
1:08:04
just feel from your heart. Does
1:08:08
this feel aligned for me? Does
1:08:08
this feel like something that I
1:08:14
want to do? Does this feel right
1:08:14
for me, and when you start to
1:08:19
step away from the mind, and
1:08:19
really start responding from
1:08:24
your heart, that's how you get
1:08:24
more in touch with your body.
1:08:28
And you'll start to recognize
1:08:28
how things feel like how yeses
1:08:31
feel in your body. How does a no
1:08:31
feel for you? You know, and so
1:08:35
and it's different for
1:08:35
everybody. Not everybody has the
1:08:37
same, the same things, right?
1:08:37
But it's really just stepping
1:08:42
outside of your head. And just
1:08:42
leaning in with your heart.
1:08:46  Kim
Yeah. And it's like really
1:08:46
like that mind body connection.
1:08:49
Yeah, we've all lost it. I mean,
1:08:49
to me, we've lost it completely.
1:08:53
Yeah. Like when when even when
1:08:53
you think about like
1:08:55
biologically, right? Like, our
1:08:55
gut, right is the second brain.
1:08:59
Okay? So when you get those gut
1:08:59
feelings, right, like, that's
1:09:03
your intuition telling you for
1:09:03
some people, some people don't
1:09:05
get gut feelings.
1:09:08
But that's a whole nother
1:09:08
podcast.
1:09:12
But when you when, when you as a
1:09:12
kid, often, like we were told
1:09:18
like that, that's kind of like a
1:09:18
cliche thing. Oh, what's your
1:09:21
gut telling you? Right? The
1:09:21
same? No, no, it's not the same.
1:09:25
It's like what we learned was to
1:09:25
let go of your feelings and get
1:09:29
more in this logical head. And
1:09:29
the truth is, you need to get
1:09:32
out of that logical head because
1:09:32
your brains and the way things
1:09:36
work. We're a little computers,
1:09:36
man, like, our brains are just
1:09:39
little computers that are
1:09:39
predisposed for certain things
1:09:42
that are hardwired in certain
1:09:42
ways. And so the more you lean
1:09:46
into that, the more you're
1:09:46
leaning into a computer program,
1:09:49
essentially, yeah, you can get
1:09:49
back into your heart and into
1:09:52
your feelings. You're living a
1:09:52
lie because your body knows
1:09:56
what's right. Yes, your body
1:09:56
already knows.
1:09:59  Melissa Bright
Absolutely.
1:09:59
Whenever I was talking to Lauren
1:10:02
gene, she's the rapid
1:10:02
transformational therapist, one
1:10:05
of the biggest things that I've
1:10:05
really noticed lately, that
1:10:09
happens to me and she explained
1:10:09
explained a lot about like
1:10:12
brainwaves, and when you're in
1:10:12
slower like brainwaves, this is
1:10:15
when like, you're really in tune
1:10:15
with your subconscious. Anyways.
1:10:18
So like, in the middle of the
1:10:18
night, I'll wake up, let's say,
1:10:21
three o'clock in the morning,
1:10:21
and maybe something's been on my
1:10:23
mind, like, Oh, I have an
1:10:23
episode releasing tomorrow, or
1:10:26
what should I do about this, so
1:10:26
on and so forth, and I will wake
1:10:30
up, and maybe within like a
1:10:30
minute of being awake. Just
1:10:34
maybe one sentence, even one
1:10:34
word will just like, come to me.
1:10:39
And I asked her, like, what that
1:10:39
is, I'm like, Is this like, and
1:10:41
she's like, Melissa, that is
1:10:41
your intuition, telling you
1:10:45
talking to you, whatever it is.
1:10:45
And I'm like, holy shit, because
1:10:49
I have had so many of those
1:10:49
moments. One of the moments was