The podcast for GPs, hospital doctors and other professionals in high-stakes, high-stress jobs who want to thrive rather than just survive. You studied for years, you’re really good at what you do but you’ve noticed that you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, overworked and under-resourced. You may be comparing yourself to a frog in boiling water - the heat has built up so slowly that you haven’t noticed the extra-long days becoming the norm. You may feel on the edge and trapped in the very job that you’ve spent years working towards. Here’s the problem, frogs only have two choices; stay and be boiled alive, or jump out of the pan. The good news is that you are not a frog. You have many more choices than you think you do. You don’t have to quit, and nor should stress and burnout be inevitable. It is possible to be master of your own destiny, to craft your work life and career so that you can thrive even in the most difficult of situations. There are simple changes you can make which will make a huge difference to your stress levels and help you enjoy life again...
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episode 99: How to Deal With Criticism When You've Reached Your Limit
Dr Sarah Coope joins me to talk about the workload of medical professionals and the benefits of setting boundaries while dealing with criticisms amidst the global pandemic. We discuss the three elements of the Drama Triangle and ways to navigate or avoid them reliably. As we dive deeper into their conversation, we emphasise the art of saying 'No' through acknowledging our limits.
If you want to take the first step in recognising your limits, handling criticism better and setting proper boundaries, tune in to this episode.
Episode Highlights
[04:43] The Overarching Challenges Brought by the Pandemic
- There was and still is much grief, trauma, guilt, and moral injury for doctors.
[06:46] Most Impactful Messages from the Podcast Amidst COVID
- Dr Caroline Walker shared a fundamental key message: ‘It's okay not to be okay’.
[09:55] Criticism and Over-responsibility
[13:03] Setting Boundaries around Responsibilities
- We need to make peace with our limits.
[17:23] Should-ing and Ought-ing
- We often take criticism personally because it targets our deepest insecurities.
[20:26] Hippocratic Oath Shaming
- Overdoing your duties circles back to the saviour-rescuer.
[22:29] Our Core Self-Beliefs
- Awareness allows us to introspect about the roots and rationale behind our self-beliefs.
[25:29] Being in the Victim Mode
- We often try to control too much of what we can’t control.
[27:08] On the Dangers of Resilience
- Resilience training is about learning what you can do for yourself.
[28:21] Getting Out of the Victim Mentality
- We always have a choice, but every choice has unique consequences.
[31:00] On Self-Sabotage
- Stay in your zone of power and leave the rest of the things you have no control over.
[33:23] Tips on Saying ‘No’
- Give yourself a pause before deciding to say 'Yes' to something.
[37:09] Say ‘No’ to the Task, Not the Person
- Set a boundary, but remain connected by saying ‘Yes’ to the person.
[38:19] What Leaders Could Have Done Differently
- Tell teams that it’s okay to set boundaries and to look after themselves.
[42:38] Having a Sense of Pace and Balance
- Recognise that the journey is a marathon, not a sprint.
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