The BTR.ORG Podcast - Betrayal Trauma Recovery - has daily, online group and individual coaching sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s abuse: lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. We recognize that labeling a woman as codependent is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are in a relationship, separated, or divorced navigate to recover and heal by establishing safety through boundaries. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. We care about your mental health. Every woman on our team has experienced abuse and betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit


3 Ways They Blame Abuse Victims

All we can tell you is that it's not your fault.

None of it was your fault.

Societally, "experts", clergy, and social media users throw out terms that blame pathologize healthy women who are responding to abuse in normal ways.

Kate is back on the BTR podcast to discuss 3 ways society blames abuse victims. Tune in to the BTR podcast and read the full transcript below for more.

The Truth About Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm Syndrome is a big, fat lie. Straight up, it doesn't exist. It's a harmful victim blaming modality, because society accepts its existence as fact, even though the history of its creation and the fact that there is literally zero evidence to back it up, make it pretty clear that it's junk science.

Even Elizabeth Smart said that nobody should ever question why you didn't do something. They have no idea what victims would have done. And they certainly have no right to judge: everything I did, I did to survive. And Natasha Kampusch said looking for normality within the framework of a crime is not a syndrome, but people get annoyed. There's no example of like Stockholm Syndrome. That actually is legit. Because if you go and look at why they did what they did, it makes sense. There's nothing wrong with them.Kate, Betrayal Trauma Recovery Community Member

Learned Helplessness Is A Myth

Similar to Stockholm Syndrome, Learned Helplessness is a concept founded on junk science and ridiculous biases leading to victim blaming modalities that make zero sense in real world, human interactions.

The myth of learned helplessness is basically that victims choose to be victims by staying in abusive situations. Anne summarizes:

They did a study abusing dogs and not letting them get out. And then they said that it was their fault that they couldn't get out when they rigged the study to do that in the first place.Anne, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery

They then took that study and applied the findings to humans, coining the term "learned helplessness".


Codependency? Prodependency? False and False.

Many women in the BTR Group Sessions have been labeled "codependent" by therapists, clergy, and others. Prodependency is a new concept that is now similarly being used to pathologize women who are reacting normally to abuse.

Any time women react at all to an abusive scenario in any way that is not exactly how a misogynistic, patriarchal society wants them to react, we are diagnosed with some kind of pathology. Codependency, co-addiction, personality disorders, hormonal issues -

It is normal to be angry when you have been betrayed. It is normal to be deeply sad when you have been abused. It is normal to be angry. It is normal to feel rage. It is normal to be upset.

BTR Is Here For You

At BTR, we do not victim blame. We know that you are reacting normal to a horrific situation. We stand with you. We believe you. Join the BTR Group Sessions today and find the validation and community that you need to begin your journey to healing.


 2022-06-28  24m