The BTR.ORG Podcast - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

btr.org - btr.org has daily, online group and individual coaching sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s abuse: lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. We recognize that labeling a woman as codependent is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are in a relationship, separated, or divorced navigate to recover and heal by establishing safety through boundaries. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. We care about your mental health. Every woman on our team has experienced abuse and betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG

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episode 248: Abusive Second Marriage? You're Not Alone



There is nothing wrong with you if you left your first marriage and found that your second husband was or is also an abuser.



Chandra's story continues on the BTR.ORG podcast - she's sharing her own experience with an abusive second marriage. Read the full transcript below and tune into the BTR.ORG podcast for more.



You Are Not to Blame For His Abuse



When women experience an abusive second marriage, they may blame themselves:



* I've already been through this once, how could I make this mistake again?* What is it about me that attracts me to abusers?* Why didn't I see the signs sooner?* Why didn't I do this, this, and this differently?



Here's the truth: you are not to blame for his behaviors.



Blaming yourself for being abused by another man is needless torture. You have been through enough - please exercise compassion for yourself rather than judgment.



Leaving a Second Abusive Marriage Can Be Difficult - But You Can Do It



Many women, including Chandra, experience embarrassment and shame when they realize that their second marriage is abusive. This shame and embarrassment may deter them from seeking safety early on, believing that with enough grit and determination they can make the marriage work.



Chandra shares:



The shame of making a mistake, that's what kept me in that situation much longer than I needed to be.Chandra, Member of the BTR.ORG Community



There Is Nothing Wrong With Wanting to Be Loved



Victims of abuse who experience a second abusive marriage may feel discouraged, embarrassed, and hopeless. Sometimes, victims express feeling silly or pathetic for having entered into a second marriage.



There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. In fact, this is a normal part of being human.



What is NOT normal, is being abusive.



You are not the problem here - the abuser is the problem.



BTR.ORG Is Here For You



If you are experiencing trauma from an abusive second marriage, please join our BTR.ORG Group Sessions today. You deserve a healing community of loving, compassionate women who understand.



Full Transcript:



Anne (00:00):Welcome to BTR.ORG. This is Anne.



We have Chandra, a member of our community, back on today's episode. She has been with us the past two episodes, so if you have not heard the beginning of her story, (This Is How Abusers Control the Narrative; Abandonment: What You Need To Know) please go there first. Listen to those two and then join us here. We're going to be talking about her next abusive relationship, which is her second marriage, and we're just gonna jump right in. Now, you recognize this as abuse. You don't really know what's causing it. So what happens when you meet your next abusive husband? Sorry. Oh my gosh. I don't mean to make light of it, but around here it's just like, oh my, we don't do anything wrong. And it's sort of like no good deed goes unpunished sometimes, right?



Chandra (03:56):Well, I'm still wrapping my head around having grace for myself for getting into a second situation like that because I feel like, you know,


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 2022-10-11  24m