Football Ramble

Shhh of course we knew that yellow cards don’t carry over to a penalty shootout! In Emi Martinez we trust.

Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete catch up after last night’s European frolickings and then realise that the FA Cup has crept up on us. Alejandro Garnacho shows digital contrition ahead of Man United’s semi-final against Coventry City, Paul Scholes gets his old chap out, and players injure themselves trying to avoid a club crest but show a #touchofclass...

How about them plucky underdogs Real Madrid, eh? Marcus and Vish are on hand to react to a disastrous evening in Europe for the English sides.

On a night which saw Erling Haaland subbed before extra time Vish asks whether Man City had too many cooks and no one to eat the pudding. In Munich, Arsenal also appeared to be lacking an appetite as they failed to trouble Bayern...

Barcelona may have lost the tie last night but have they won the war to become the Champions League's next banter club? Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish are here to review a night of Champos action that at times resembled a drunken brawl - and they bloody enjoyed it!

Elsewhere, Marcus discusses Cole Palmer's place in the England squad, Andy compares Mauricio Pochettino to Tim Sherwood and Jim starts an unexpected campaign to unite the people of London...

What’s that noise? Is that the sound of Euro-trash floating from Lineker’s Bar? That’s right, Pete thinks it’s official: Jack Grealish is already planing his post-title win sesh.

Marcus, Jim and Pete react to a huge weekend at the top of the Premier League as both Liverpool and Arsenal promptly put their special carton of Premier League celebration milk back into the freezer (more on that at the end of the show)...

Marcus, Andy and Pete text an anonymous burner phone and get a fresh batch of listener questions delivered to the studio - and there are some crackers!

We wonder if a Premier League game could - and should - be played overseas after FIFA’s change of tune this week...

Was last night Jürgen Klopp's final European game at Anfield? If so it didn't end well. Today, Marcus, Andy and Pete are here to remind Klopp that going out of the Europa League would at least mean he is on the beach a week earlier...

Elsewhere, Pete expresses his jealousy towards John McGinn’s large bum and, in an unrelated turn of events, he and Andy explain how they are coping with their midlife crises...

Also, Xavi was wearing Stone Island on the touchline, so we can only assume he and his XL bully were waiting for Luis Enrique in the carpark...

How about that football, eh? Last night’s Champions League action was so good that Andy has decided he needs to get a second big telly to watch all the barns burn at once.

Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy reflect on Arsenal showing glimpses of their ITV era last night and marvel at the quality of goals on display in Madrid. Plus, Andy explains why Sporting manager Rúben Amorim would be a good fit for Liverpool...

Did you know that if you’re a Tottenham player you can punch a Nottingham Forest player on a Sunday afternoon without punishment? Today Marcus, Luke and Jim applaud James Maddison’s knowledge and application of that rule this weekend.

Elsewhere, Luke compares Man United vs Liverpool to Pulp Fiction and Jim dismisses James Ward-Prowse scoring from a corner because it was “wind-assisted”...

Marcus, Luke and Jim are back in Correspondence Corner tackling some more of your cracking questions!

We start with an interesting one: in the age of mass media coverage and scrabbling for social media clicks, is football punditry becoming more divisive and are club biases paraded around too often? 

We also wonder which players or managers missed their chance at a big move, and we pitch some dream football documentaries about past teams and seasons...