Football Ramble

Welcome to hell? Lads, I’ve already been in it.

Those were the thoughts of a philosophical Vithushan Ehantharajah on tonight’s Ramble Reacts after Manchester United failed to beat the Hall of Fame of Your Favourite Players You Don’t Really Pay Attention To.

Vish and Marcus reflect on a dramatic and chaotic Champions League night in Istanbul, mainly thanks to the slippery hands of one man: André Onana...

Newcastle were on the end of a stinking decision last night. Predictably, Pete Donaldson seems the least outraged by the whole incident. Marcus and Vish do share their displeasure that Nick Pope was robbed of his clean sheet bonus but they are still optimistic of Newcastle’s chances of reaching the last 16.

Elsewhere, we ask if Man City fans would be happier if they gave every team a head start and Pete’s written a song for a very sad Gary O’Neil. Poor Gary...

We witnessed one of the greatest ever Premier League goals on Sunday, but there are more urgent matters to attend to on today’s show. Like… is Sean Dyche actually bald?

Marcus, Vish, Jim and Pete guide you through a chaotic Premier League weekend! We argue that Lewis Miley looks like a stretched out Furby, Steve Bull should be given an unlimited number of dogs by Wolverhampton City Council, and why Pete should definitely be allowed to launch a new German techno club in Aberdeen...

We’re finally back in the wam, comforting arms of our benign Premier League overlords. And do you know what that means? Protest planes.

Pete, Vish, Andy and Jim discuss how Everton fans should make their protest heard, what it would be like to have your head in Jurgen Klopp’s armpit, and unconfirmed reports that Erling Haaland as a Viking longboat on its way to Liverpool full of special super fish...

Been wondering what you’re missing out on over on the Football Ramble Patreon? Well, here’s a taste…

Every single Wednesday, we serve up our Friends of the Ramble with ‘Ramble Uncut’ – an extended edition of the show where we let you in behind the curtain for our unfiltered ramblings about football, life, and Alan Pardew’s presumably sickening taste in interior design...

Is İlkay Gündoğan is turning into the German Roy Keane? Can anyone stop Jim from turning into the God of Football? And will Kevin Keegan EVER stop hosting industry conferences? A listener has a fresh update for us...

Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish are here to look back on the final round of Euro 2024 qualifiers, where Wales fell short of automatic qualification and now face the play-offs. We wonder whether people potentially have unreasonable expectations for this current Wales squad...

England completed a statement 8-1 aggregate victory over North Macedonia. Marcus and Jim are on hand to send that message to the rest of Europe. They also remind us that there are no rebounds in a penalty shootout.

Once that’s out of the way, the lads discuss if these two poor performances will have any effect on England going forward and whether Rico Lewis can make the squad for the Euros...

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to bemoan the refereeing that made England not have a shot on target until the 64th minute against Malta. WHERE’S THE INTERNATIONAL PGMOL?!

We also react to the seismic news of Everton’s 10 point deduction and ask where it leaves the club, the fans, and… other clubs. Plus, Sergio Ramos awards Shakira a Grammy for a song all about slagging off Gerard Piqué and we reappraise the goalscoring enigma that is Romelu Lukaku...

Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete are back to answer more of your burning questions, as we revel in football’s stupid stuff and a listener writes to us after attending that chaotic Norwegian promotion ding dong last week.

Plus, we look into how football can stop eating itself, deciding the only answer is to have more sex in Marvel films. Or bao buns.

Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com...

Is a draw in Tbilisi thanks to a 92nd minute equaliser enough to rid Scotland of their dreaded curse? On today’s show, Marcus, Pete, Jim and Vish call for any curse experts to help them solve that mystery...