Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Hey there, Little Junkie! Why aren’t you a cute fella! Whats that you say? You’re looking to score more smack? Ain’t that a might too soon? You was just coming ’round here yesterday. Oh I see. Yer a hurtin’ for some of my sweet skagg.

Hello! Oh my, well it has been some time since we sat together, you and I. Yes. Now, lets see. Where were we? Oh yes, I remember now. I was reading the internet to you. Yes, yes. It’s all coming back. This week we visit the loving and caring internet p...

Come on. You can’t deny getting a thrill when you thrust that fist into the air and give a throaty yell in the name of all that is good and white and Hitler-y. Yes, thats right. Give into the power of the white side!

When I think of the wonders of craigslist I usually think of this type of encounter: Hey, you know how we agreed on that price I was going to pay for you guitar amp? Well, I’m kind of a little short. Do you mind if I give you less than we agreed becaus...

It’s been a while since I was on The Flophouse Podcast so when I got a chance to contribute I jumped right in. Head flophouser, Dan McCoy, told me he was inspired by my corny announcer read that I did for the Large Penis Support Group and wanted to mak...

Dudes and dudettes, How many times have you had to have this conversation with your significant other? “Oh man, I don’t want your cousin coming over tonight. Why? Because I just got some amazing weed and I want to try out this sweet new bubbler pipe th...

Look, of all people, I know what a burden it can be to have an extremely large penis. I mean, the word large is not even descriptive enough to really do it justice. Is there even a word? Gi-dong-gantulous? I would post pics but its kind of like looking...

Hey did you say are looking for a place to share your story ideas? You know the ones. The really sexy story ideas… Come on. Don’t be shy. Your stories about all the intergenerational incest and pooping and peeing and the corrupted sex and… Oh,

Happy Independence Day, America! Try not to blow off your fingers! Surely as a netizen of the cyberness you’ve come across the term “Poz My Neg Ass.” What do you mean you haven’t? Oh, I forget. You have a life and don’t spend every waking hour thinking...

“I can’t believe we have to read all these books over the summer!” If you were like me you said this every single summer after the the summer where books with drawings in them were no longer allowed to count for your book total.