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Doctor NerdLove is here to help you get your dating life in order with the best dating advice and positive masculine self-improvement on the Internet. Doctor NerdLove is not really a doctor Doctor NerdLove is not really a doctor

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      episode 50: The Truth Behind "Secret" Seduction Techniques


      Do you want to learn the secret to getting amazing, beautiful women to fall in love with you? You probably hear about these tricks all the time from experts and gurus. And you’re probably thinking “yeah right, this could never work”.

      And that's where you’re right. But not for the reasons you think. Those seduction techniques work alright... but it's all about who it's working on and how. This week, we're going to talk about the short cuts and magic bullets mark...


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      14m
       

      episode 49: When is Flirting a Bad Idea?


      There's a time and place for everything, including getting to know amazing new women. But the fact that you're attracted to someone doesn't mean that it's a good idea to try to pick them up. If you don't understand the dynamics of flirting or the social context involved, you end up looking like a pushy jerk at best or a creeper and a predator at worst.

      This week, we're going to talk about the dynamics that affect when, where and how flirting is permitted... and when it's ...


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      14m
       

      episode 48: The Fundamentals of Flirting


      One of the reasons why people get confused or frustrated with flirting is that they tend to get lost in the weeds when they want to learn how to flirt with someone.  We often misunderstand how flirting works or don't know how to do it the right way.

      Flirting isn’t about negging and you’re delivering backhanded “compliments” to lower somebody’s social value compared to yours and making them crave your approval. It's not about showering someone with complements, ...


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      13m
       

      episode 47: How To Approach Amazing Women


      How many times have you seen somebody - maybe at a bar, maybe in class, maybe at a party - who was AMAZING. They were incredible, they were everything you could possibly want in a partner and all you want to do is go up and say “Hi” if only so that you KNOW that you gave it a shot. But then when the moment came, you froze because you had no idea what to say. 

      This is an incredibly common issue - something that a lot of people go through. The good news is: you’...


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      11m
       

      episode 46: The Truth About Nice Guys


      Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: you’re talking with someone you’re into, and you think it’s going well when she says the dread phrase: “I wish I could meet a nice guy like you.” And you’re thinking to yourself “Well… I’m nice! Why aren’t you dating me?”

      But for all the times you hear a woman say she wishes she could find a nice guy, you also hear about how nice guys are THE WORST. And during all this, you see her going off and dating a complete asshol...


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      12m
       

      What You Need to Know About The Friend Zone


      When we talk about The Friend Zone, we tend to talk about it like it’s the worst thing that can happen to somebody - and usually something that’s done to them - either maliciously by women who’re just coldly “using” them or capriciously just because screw you, that’s why. As a result we get inane and frankly insulting theories and memes like the “Ladder Theory” where women have the “Friend” ladder and the “Real” ladder and the impossible gap between the two, or we have concepts...


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      15m
       2017-09-14

      episode 44: How Pop Culture Ruins Romance


      One of the long and ongoing themes of the letters I get from my readers is “I thought this is what relationships were supposed to be like”, or “Why doesn’t this situation play out like I expect?” Other times it’s “Well, I already know that I can’t do this thing because it would never work, despite having no relationship experience to draw from.”

      From Nice Guys to White Knights, toxic attitudes towards women and even more toxic relationships, we end up with a lo...


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      14m
       2017-09-07

      episode 43: Be A Better Man


      One of the topics that I return to again and again is the topic of positive masculinity and what it means to be a good man. 

      Problem is… a lot of guys tend to define “being a good man” as simply not being one of the bad. And that doesn’t really work. Being a better man means being willing to step up when needed. And as we've seen all too often in cases of harassment or assault - whether it's cat-calling, an aggressive stranger on the subway or a creeper at a co...


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      13m
       2017-08-31

      episode 42: Casual Sex and Where To Find It


      While lots of guys who want to get better with women are looking to find that special someone, there are also a lot of guys out there who are hoping to find more sexual partners and some no-strings attached fooling around. The thing is… they have no idea where to go about finding people who’re down for casual sex.

      This is in no small part because, frankly, they’re asking the wrong questions. Often the real question isn't "where"... but "how". This week, we're t...


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      12m
       2017-08-24

      How To Avoid Self-Sabotage


      It’s hard to admit, but often we are our own worst enemies when it comes to solving our dating issues. We get torn between wanting to fix things and resenting that things need to be fixed in the first place. And that tension makes it almost impossible to improve because it keeps you from doing the things that you need to in order to progress. After all, it’s hard to accept that you need help… and even harder to admit that you’re the one who’s the author of your own hardships. B...


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      14m
       2017-08-17