Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that challenged Elon Musk to a
Speaker 1: toe wrestling competition for control of Twitter. Wow, that's how
Speaker 1: it works. He had to back out last second foot
Speaker 1: fungus again. Yeah, I guess I left a tongue Wressel
Speaker 1: Zuckerberg for Facebook. We've seen that many times though. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news
Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except
Speaker 1: we have a laser. Those other cake snakes just don't
Speaker 1: this first Laser Stories out of Janesville, Wisconsin, forty three
Speaker 1: year old Robert Siegfried hasn't had a ton of luck
Speaker 1: with online dating, so he recently rented a billboard to
Speaker 1: find himself a wife. Good way to go. I don't
Speaker 1: think I've ever called the number from any The billboard
Speaker 1: says date Robert, Wisconsin's number one eligible bachelor, and there's
Speaker 1: a picture of him in a cowboy hat with a
Speaker 1: leather jacket, a belt buckle, and sunglasses, putting his hands
Speaker 1: on his hip like a true gentleman. It says look
Speaker 1: a girl. Honest woman. Yeah, that's what he says. And
Speaker 1: along with that local honest woman tag, there's a phone
Speaker 1: number you can call or text if you want to
Speaker 1: leave him a message if I should try, Can I
Speaker 1: try and just see if he responds? That's so fascinating. Okay,
Speaker 1: do your affairs off then want to be involved. No
Speaker 1: word on how many dates this has actually gotten him,
Speaker 1: but he has run into a few hurdles. First, a
Speaker 1: reporter interviewed him and he asked her out during the segment.
Speaker 1: This guy is what we call thirsty. I mean, it
Speaker 1: sort of seemed like a joke, but she's quite a
Speaker 1: bit younger and politely declined, yeah, and this part might
Speaker 1: be more of a deal breaker. Though. The station covering
Speaker 1: that story felt the need to list one final detail
Speaker 1: at the end and noted that someone filed a restraining
Speaker 1: order against Robert last year. It wasn't the reporter, because
Speaker 1: she'll do it probably in a year. We don't have
Speaker 1: the details of it. All we know is it's a
Speaker 1: four year restraining order that's apparently still in effect. He
Speaker 1: also faced the disorderly conduct charge last year as well.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with not funny to text him anymore,
Speaker 1: but yeah, if somehow you are still interested, we will
Speaker 1: post the ad with his phone number on our Insta
Speaker 1: Stories at Brooke and Jeffrey, this is going to work.
Speaker 1: He may need to look internally about what the problem is. Yeah.
Speaker 1: This next laser stories out of Atlanta. The other day,
Speaker 1: two men stole a bunch of stuff from a Sam's club,
Speaker 1: so much that they could barely fit it all in
Speaker 1: their car. They walked off with several gaming systems and
Speaker 1: other random items like electronic toothbrushes and toys, but cops
Speaker 1: were able to catch up with him about ten miles
Speaker 1: down the road when they had to stop to recharge
Speaker 1: their tesla. Because tesla's can take thirty minutes or more
Speaker 1: to fully charge, so you really need to plan ahead,
Speaker 1: which they obviously didn't. If you could own a tesla,
Speaker 1: why are you? Yeah. Also, the stuff they stole was
Speaker 1: worth about nine thousand dollars, so they're facing felony theft
Speaker 1: charges along wind. To make matters worse, they also had
Speaker 1: several guns and a few big bags of drugs in there,
Speaker 1: so cops tacked on charges were possession with intent to
Speaker 1: distribute and possession of a firearm while committing a crime.
Speaker 1: Now afterwards, a local reporter covering the story said, quote,
Speaker 1: a truck might have been a better choice for a
Speaker 1: getaway vehicle or really anything that runs on gas. A
Speaker 1: mopet even would have been a better option. Trying to
Speaker 1: be environmentally conscious. Yeah, they move their drugs and stolen
Speaker 1: good round free the criminals. Yeah, next laser stories. Out
Speaker 1: of the seven Seas, there's a cruise ship company called
Speaker 1: Life at Sea Cruises, and they're making the news because
Speaker 1: they're offering a new three year cruise. Whoa three years,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry priced at only thirty thousand dollars per person
Speaker 1: per year. That seems really cheap? Is that? Like your
Speaker 1: whole life on a cruise ship and it's only thirty
Speaker 1: grand a year. That's actually pretty good. And that includes housing,
Speaker 1: all meals, housekeeping, even your WiFi. And wow, I know
Speaker 1: what you're thinking. Where is it going to go just
Speaker 1: around the harbor and back for three continuous years? No,
Speaker 1: the ship will travel one hundred and thirty thousand miles,
Speaker 1: visiting one hundred and thirty five different countries on all
Speaker 1: seven continents, and it'll hit three hundred and seventy five ports. Wow,
Speaker 1: this is so impressive. Among the sites you'll see are
Speaker 1: the taj Mahal in India, the Pyramids of Giza in Egypt,
Speaker 1: Machu Picchu in Peru, Christ the Redeemer Statue in Brazil,
Speaker 1: and the Great Wall of China Yells of the world.
Speaker 1: There's also going to be one hundred and three tropical
Speaker 1: islands you'll visit. But it's not all about the destinations.
Speaker 1: All the meals, your laundry and housekeeping all included. Wait,
Speaker 1: they're doing my laundry. Another bonus is amazing, So that's
Speaker 1: a big gass. But all medical care at the twenty
Speaker 1: four seven Ship Hospital will be free alcohol at dinner time,
Speaker 1: Fully comforted, now tiring soon. Maybe I should get them
Speaker 1: on a cruise. Guys, let's do our show from a
Speaker 1: boat from New Yea. Sounds pretty good, but here's the
Speaker 1: only catch. Paying the thirty thousand dollars a year, you'll
Speaker 1: need to stay in a thirteen square foot stateroom with
Speaker 1: no windows. Oh my gosh, it's like a prison. But
Speaker 1: where do I keep my laundry shower? You can upgrade
Speaker 1: to a balcony sweep though, if you want, for one
Speaker 1: hundred and ten thousand dollars a person there it is
Speaker 1: dirty grad you're just cargo. Yeah, yeah, it's not bad though,
Speaker 1: considering with one hundred and ten thousand dollars a person.
Speaker 1: They'll also give you a pool, a salon, and a
Speaker 1: gym to this actualizer stories out of Flying Saucer Central.
Speaker 1: Look him in the sky tonight and you may see
Speaker 1: two UFOs. What but now they're scheduling their arrivals now,
Speaker 1: or maybe you'll just see two things that look like UFOs.
Speaker 1: So cool. And I say that because cops in Central
Speaker 1: Florida had to post on Facebook last week and ask
Speaker 1: people to please stop calling nine one one about Jupiter
Speaker 1: and Venus. Oh my gosh, my dad, right now, besides
Speaker 1: the Moon, those two are the biggest brightest objects in
Speaker 1: the sky lately, and they've been so close together that
Speaker 1: they look like they've crossed paths and merged last week,
Speaker 1: something that's not going to happen again until twenty thirty nine.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my dad literally texted me about this.
Speaker 1: I'll say, is so feasible right now, go outside. Venus
Speaker 1: is dead. So when that went down, people would not
Speaker 1: stop calling police about it, and authorities in Modesto posted
Speaker 1: a photo and said quote, if you're seeing these lights
Speaker 1: in the sky, Dispatch has received multiple calls regarding it,
Speaker 1: do not be alarmed. They're just planets. Of course, in
Speaker 1: the Facebook comments, no one believed them. People were writing
Speaker 1: in all caps conspiracy, stop hiding the truth. We all
Speaker 1: know what happened in Area fifty one. Yeah, of course
Speaker 1: they are. Others were suggesting that Chinese spy balloons were
Speaker 1: merging in space to create one mega balloon to come
Speaker 1: down and land on the Hollywood Sign. Dan Daniels are
Speaker 1: so entertaining, which, of course it's ridiculous if you think
Speaker 1: about it. If anybody's going to attack Los Angeles, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be the sky. Oh t that's a ust picture.
Speaker 1: You'll cover up in your shoes when you see him.
Speaker 1: That sown means the laser stories has come to an
Speaker 1: end for the day. We'll do it again the same
Speaker 1: time on Friday, Broke and Jeffrey in the morning,