Speaker 1: But of course, of course you have come through the
Speaker 1: internet in order to find me. Rolando, I'm always here
Speaker 1: waiting for you. Now come close, put your ear next
Speaker 1: to me and listen. Let me do one of the
Speaker 1: word ah. You sit back and laugh. I need to
Speaker 1: have the floor right now and not be interrupted because
Speaker 1: I have a problem with one or multiple people in
Speaker 1: this road. Excuse me. I have asked for the floor
Speaker 1: and no interruption, because here's the situation. The other day,
Speaker 1: I'm coming into work early in the morning, trying to
Speaker 1: access our parking garage, and what do I see. Alexis's
Speaker 1: car comes barreling around me through the exit gauge. The
Speaker 1: barrier arm isn't down, and so technically you could just
Speaker 1: drive through again, no euptions, please, and we both park
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Alexis, what was that all about? That
Speaker 1: was really dangerous, And Alexis says, oh, Brooke told me
Speaker 1: I could just use the exit ramp whenever I want
Speaker 1: to enter the building. And apparently Brook's been telling everyone
Speaker 1: that because I saw editor Ashally used it this morning too.
Speaker 1: Oh God, do you think that you're above the law,
Speaker 1: that you're better than everybody else in the building. Excuse me?
Speaker 1: The iCal questions. The answer is obviously yes to these,
Speaker 1: because I demanded the floor about the parking garage, there's
Speaker 1: no law be the exit gate is always open, so
Speaker 1: you don't have to enter the stupid code and stop
Speaker 1: and lean out your window and see no one is
Speaker 1: here when we come to work. I get it. You're
Speaker 1: celebrity and the rules don't applying spot is available. This
Speaker 1: is why you're using the emergency vehicle lanes. When the
Speaker 1: bridge was closed. You would cut off the police officers
Speaker 1: in the fire department just so that you could get
Speaker 1: to work five minutes earlier for small fires. Jeff Drawer Big,
Speaker 1: please strike her comment from the record, as I've requested
Speaker 1: the floor with no answillary comment. Are you really not
Speaker 1: entering the code every day? I am entering the code?
Speaker 1: Why because I'm a good person, used the code in
Speaker 1: like six months. Why? Well, not only are you an
Speaker 1: unsafe menace to society, but now you're officially teaching the
Speaker 1: younger generation to follow your way crooked Darth Vader ast
Speaker 1: menacing ways where it's me, me, me before everybody else.
Speaker 1: It just works smarter, not harder. Okay, that's what it is.
Speaker 1: You're like the Kanye west of the parking garage right now,
Speaker 1: your hate mobile around that. I know karma is gonna
Speaker 1: get you when we do the shot collar question of
Speaker 1: the day. You're so mad you didn't think of it?
Speaker 1: First strike her comment again from the record and give
Speaker 1: us a question that guarantees Brooke gets electrocuted in the
Speaker 1: throat today. Jake, this is the fifth consecutive day we're
Speaker 1: a game, and we've settled on the title cap or
Speaker 1: No cap ya basically a true or false game where
Speaker 1: you have a fifty fifty shot at getting the answer right.
Speaker 1: And every single day Alexis has gotten her answer wrong question.
Speaker 1: It's because she believes almost anything she hears, so I
Speaker 1: normally give her a cap question. Will I do it
Speaker 1: again this time? Am I getting into her head? Anything
Speaker 1: in her head? Be very insid to hear what she
Speaker 1: goes with Once we begin another rousing edition of cap
Speaker 1: or No cap Nice, Alexis, If you pick up a
Speaker 1: baby bird, the mother will then reject it. Cap or
Speaker 1: No cap sad other animals right, because the smell or
Speaker 1: something of oils or something on your fingers. But I
Speaker 1: don't know if it makes sense with birds, But birds
Speaker 1: are kind of mean I hate birds. Sorry Jack, thank
Speaker 1: you st What birds ever do to you? Exist? Like?
Speaker 1: I just hate them? They're very important? Yeah whatever, real
Speaker 1: text the mean and so I feel like the mom would.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna say that's no cap, no cap, that's cap.
Speaker 1: Did you see the pattern? He literally to birds love
Speaker 1: their offspring. Yeah, they don't recognize their young v smell,
Speaker 1: so picking them up won't cause them to band them
Speaker 1: much for getting shot. Let's go to Jose. If you
Speaker 1: heat grapes in the microwave, they will spark and explode.
Speaker 1: Cap or no cap? Why did they spark? There has
Speaker 1: to be some kind of like ensign or something, or like,
Speaker 1: I know who loves warm grapes? You, yeah, surprise. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're trying to make like jam and you're trying to
Speaker 1: do it quick instead of like them on the stove
Speaker 1: and adding sugar. You just you well, I don't know
Speaker 1: why they would spark. That's thrown me off. It doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense to me, Jake, So I'm gonna say that's cap.
Speaker 1: Jose says cap, that's no cap. If you've cut one
Speaker 1: in half, or if you put two grapes and they
Speaker 1: touch each other, it'll create hot spots, which creates an
Speaker 1: ionized gas, which emits light, and they start to break.
Speaker 1: I don't want to trying to destroy everything. I don't
Speaker 1: want to set my own microwave on fire. Let's do
Speaker 1: it here. Can't ruin everybody else's life. We're over two
Speaker 1: on a brook oh Man. Disneyland has its own ZIP
Speaker 1: code cap or no cap Disneyland. I was just at Disneyland.
Speaker 1: It's an anaheia the exit probably. Yeah. You know. The
Speaker 1: thing about Disneyland is it's not like disney World is massive,
Speaker 1: and Disneyland's big, but it's not that big. However, now
Speaker 1: you do have Downtown Disney and you have all of
Speaker 1: the tells, any of the California Adventure a lot. I
Speaker 1: think it's only disney World. I think it's gonna be cap.
Speaker 1: Bo says, that's cap. Good answers someplace in the US
Speaker 1: to have their own ZIP code, like the Empire State
Speaker 1: Building and Dodger Stadium, but not Disneyland. Dodger Stadium had that,
Speaker 1: Brooks safe. We're going on to Jeffrey. The smallest dinosaur
Speaker 1: that ever exist was called the microraptor cap no cap.
Speaker 1: That's so cute. It's an adorable cap or no cap.
Speaker 1: It's so cute it sounds fake. They had feathers. Oh
Speaker 1: didn't think they had feathers like birds? Brooke had one
Speaker 1: is a pet back. It just doesn't sound like a
Speaker 1: real thing. And artis have like the craziest, longest like
Speaker 1: Latin names. I'm gonna I'm just gonna say that didn't exist.
Speaker 1: That's cap. Jeff says cap. That's no cap. After they
Speaker 1: were feather dinosaurs with wings about the size of a crow.
Speaker 1: Brooks the only one that got it right, which means
Speaker 1: she gets to pick who gets shot. Wow, I'm picking. Sorry, Alexis,
Speaker 1: it's somebody wanted to hear. I Love rock and Roll
Speaker 1: by Alexis. Put it on jazz, all right? That ben't
Speaker 1: turn this baby up ter right. You need to remember
Speaker 1: should use the exit jazz. You better leave the lock
Speaker 1: of the entrance. You can't do it during the day,
Speaker 1: there's too many people. Oh now, you can only do
Speaker 1: it in the morning. All right, I'm just gonna sing
Speaker 1: I Love rock and Roll by Joan Jet Okay, I
Speaker 1: love rock and roll, So put another dime in the jukebox.
Speaker 1: You should have seen the aggressiveness that brook pushed the button. Oh,
Speaker 1: my god, that's the carma we're talking about of the day,
Speaker 1: Broke and Jeffrey in the morning. For a long time,
Speaker 1: I've taken a brave stance against a global movement that
Speaker 1: I think is a travesty where billion dollar corporations are
Speaker 1: trying to pander to eco nerds by hawking lab created
Speaker 1: chemically enhanced impossible meats. Why are taking jobs away from
Speaker 1: hardworking bovines all over the world. They are causing all
Speaker 1: sorts of problems with our air quality, with like farming
Speaker 1: in general, it's just farms. She wants us to go
Speaker 1: back to hunter gatherers. Listen. I'm pro planet Earth, jeff
Speaker 1: That's what I am. I'm pro planet Earth, and I
Speaker 1: think they taste good. I think no, they don't. You're
Speaker 1: law to yourself, it's a sin against nature. But everyone
Speaker 1: else is like synthetic blood yum. But now, thanks to
Speaker 1: all your cavalier attitudes, they're not just coming after our
Speaker 1: meat anymore. Now they're coming after our candy. Okay, that's right,
Speaker 1: because Reese has just announced their new plant based peanut
Speaker 1: buttercups Here you go, which made me go wait with
Speaker 1: their meat and number four, how are they plant based?
Speaker 1: Aren't peanuts already plants. Well, now apparently there's not any
Speaker 1: actual milk chocolate in them anymore. It's chocolate, so whatever
Speaker 1: the hell that is. I was hoping that there's actually like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe people with peanut allergies can finally eat those, but
Speaker 1: it's just no chocolate. Now. Hershees is rolling it out
Speaker 1: with a lot of their confections doing oat made Hershey
Speaker 1: bars with almond and sea salt and oat chocolate in there. Well,
Speaker 1: are you happy, brook Now you've killed chocolate now? I
Speaker 1: mean I like to eat the dark chocolate, so there's
Speaker 1: not a lot of milk and rich. Again, it doesn't
Speaker 1: affect Brooks, so who cares. There's options in the world, Jeff,
Speaker 1: and oat ok is the best out of all of
Speaker 1: them in terms of the impact on the planet. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that Nestleie is making vegan kit cats now,
Speaker 1: and all these oat chocolate bars have less sugar, no
Speaker 1: real chocolate in them. That's why it's for vegans. And
Speaker 1: even though they're snatching the chocolate right out of our mouths,
Speaker 1: the good news is they're going to be cheaper at least, right,
Speaker 1: No wrong, they're charging him more money for this about
Speaker 1: a dollar more per bar. This is a mountain. You're
Speaker 1: gonna die on it, Like out of all of the
Speaker 1: problems of the world, this is what upsets you the mother.
Speaker 1: I will die on Chocolate Mountain by myself. I don't
Speaker 1: think it anyway. World is coming to an end shortly,
Speaker 1: but before it does, we'll do laser stories. Do you
Speaker 1: want to visit chocolate Mountain? Yeah, you're allowed. He'll do
Speaker 1: it next. It's the radio segment that dreams of someday
Speaker 1: becoming a television segment. So it just got boatox, chin
Speaker 1: in plants, and a big brow list that's gonna for
Speaker 1: TV expressions. Yeah, we're ready to go with laser stories,
Speaker 1: the stragment where we read weird news stories around the globe,
Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we have a laser.
Speaker 1: Those other dummies just don't. This first Laser stories out
Speaker 1: of Handover Canada last week, local police picked up a
Speaker 1: quote suspicious older male trying to hand out candy to kids. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: the kids like candy. I like kids. Yeah, I did
Speaker 1: not do anything wrong. Oh it looks like this one
Speaker 1: wasn't you. Oh like I said, I But according to
Speaker 1: the police report, he pulled over his car went up
Speaker 1: to a young boy walking home from school and offered
Speaker 1: him a box of chocolate? Is he watching like a
Speaker 1: bad after school special? And it's like, I want to
Speaker 1: star in it? I think his kids today are smart
Speaker 1: about this stuff. And the boy said no. Good. The
Speaker 1: guy was insistent. He said if he didn't want them,
Speaker 1: and maybe his mom would watch, but it was still
Speaker 1: a no, and cops eventually tracked him down and questioned him.
Speaker 1: They didn't arrest him, though, and here's why. Turns out
Speaker 1: he was just trying to participate in random acts of kindness.
Speaker 1: Day do you want the chocolate? Misguided Holiday was last month,
Speaker 1: but he heard about it and it inspired him, and
Speaker 1: he'd also been handing out candy to adults that day,
Speaker 1: and they released him after determining his intentions were quote
Speaker 1: genuine and pure. Police last saw him heading into a
Speaker 1: Walgreens to purchase denture cream so he could apply it
Speaker 1: at a local retirement home for help. Guy. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that is so sad by his friends. Yeah, this next
Speaker 1: Lilaze of story is out of an online galaxy not
Speaker 1: so far far away? Where is it? Then? Jeff? A
Speaker 1: new mode of transport being hyped as the world's first
Speaker 1: flying bike has officially been released in Japan man According
Speaker 1: to the company's side, it comes with a five hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty five thousand dollars online price tag. Who I'll
Speaker 1: show you what to look This actually looks pretty cool.
Speaker 1: We'll put the pictures on our Insta stories that Brooke
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey looking bad at It's a twelve foot long
Speaker 1: X Treismo luxury air cruiser and it bears a resemblance
Speaker 1: to the speeder bikes used by the Galactic Empire to
Speaker 1: chase Luke, Skywalker and Princess Lay through the forest. Dude,
Speaker 1: it totally looks like that, and it looks like so cool.
Speaker 1: A way I'm going to kill myself. I could ride
Speaker 1: this safe. If you want to get an idea, you
Speaker 1: should watch Return of the Jedi. The six hundred sixty
Speaker 1: one pound vehicle can reportedly hit speeds ranging from fifty
Speaker 1: to sixty two miles per hour. That is a weird
Speaker 1: range for now. The Star Wars fans and others who
Speaker 1: are itching to take part in their own chase will
Speaker 1: be heartbroken to hear that flying bikes are currently only
Speaker 1: available in Japan, and they're limited for the moment to
Speaker 1: test rides over a closed race track. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: thinking power lines are going to be a real issue.
Speaker 1: I don't see any seat belts on there either. Well, yeah, parachutes.
Speaker 1: If you purchase the bike, you have to keep it
Speaker 1: there and are closely monitored by officials while you're zooming
Speaker 1: around in the sky. Oh that's a fun half million.
Speaker 1: This next lays of stories out of Get your Drink
Speaker 1: on Shaudy Headquarters. Anyone who was a teenager in the
Speaker 1: nineties remembers the famous purple stuff adds for Sunny Delight,
Speaker 1: purple stuff. Remember when you'd open the fridge there was
Speaker 1: the purple drink. Yeah, yeah, I remember. Now, I'm like,
Speaker 1: sunny t wasn't purple, Jeff. But all those kids are
Speaker 1: in their forties now, so bring on the hard stuff.
Speaker 1: That's right, Sonny's Delight with alcohol now exists. That gave
Speaker 1: me such an aftertaste. Sunny d Vodka Seltzer select Walmart's
Speaker 1: nationwide tomorrow. I mean these light orange juice if you've
Speaker 1: never had it, I wouldn't call it orange juice artificial. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you were saying, it's like a fake orange juice.
Speaker 1: So it basically sounds like a screwdriver like vodka and
Speaker 1: oj but with bubbles in it. I'm pretty sure I
Speaker 1: may have drank this in high school already. We're just yeah,
Speaker 1: basically totally. Obviously this is all on nostalgia grab and
Speaker 1: they know those ninety kids are grown ups now, so
Speaker 1: they're hoping they'll be into it. Yeah. Their press release
Speaker 1: claims fans asked for this. Yeah, although no social media
Speaker 1: evidence has been found to date. Duh. I don't think
Speaker 1: they realized the nineties kids get really bad headaches with
Speaker 1: high sugar drinks, so you don't do that anymore. If
Speaker 1: you want to brave it. Four packs will cost ten bucks,
Speaker 1: so it's a little pricier than other seltzers and most beers.
Speaker 1: Each can is ninety five calories and four point five
Speaker 1: percent alcohol. Oh, be careful his next laser stories out
Speaker 1: of things you should know dot duh. At this point,
Speaker 1: we all know we're not supposed to flush wet wipes
Speaker 1: down the toilet, yes, but there's lots of other things
Speaker 1: that aren't good for our plumbing, the pipes, or the
Speaker 1: oceans either. Here's three random things that local officials say
Speaker 1: you should not flush. Number three food tasty down yea
Speaker 1: too lazy to go to the trash. Can you just
Speaker 1: flush it? It's my kids dinners away into the bathroom.
Speaker 1: Flush food is and I was faking sick to go
Speaker 1: to school and I poured a can of like vegetable
Speaker 1: soup up. She believe you? I think she did though
Speaker 1: solid plan. And I know your toilet deposits do contain
Speaker 1: former food, but it's digested and soft, so uneating food
Speaker 1: can be too big for the pipes to handle and
Speaker 1: leave the blockages. Well, this burrito fit Number two hair
Speaker 1: washing your hair? What happens if you or your cats
Speaker 1: swallow a bunch of hair, You can form a hairball
Speaker 1: in your throat, and pipes are kind of like your throat.
Speaker 1: If you flush enough hair, it can form a hairball
Speaker 1: that blocks things. I think that's pretty good analogy. But
Speaker 1: would you like clean out your brushes? I could understand.
Speaker 1: Like the Finally, the number one thing you should never
Speaker 1: put in the toilet is chewed gum. I've actually done this.
Speaker 1: Gum never breaks down naturally, so it can clog up
Speaker 1: your pipes, and when it makes its way back to
Speaker 1: the waterways, that eventually decomposes into microplastics. Oh no, and
Speaker 1: that's a huge problem for fish and the plant and
Speaker 1: other animals who could be vulnerable. The sound of a
Speaker 1: vulnerable turtle approach and some you tune gum. Oh wait,
Speaker 1: he's stretching it out like a homemade song. He's he's
Speaker 1: just freaky. That sound means Laser Stories has come to
Speaker 1: an end for the day. Let's do it again, same
Speaker 1: time on Monday. Broke and Jeffrey in the morning. Imagine
Speaker 1: you're single and just met the perfect person online. Oh wow, someday, jeff, Well,
Speaker 1: it'll happen. Don't when you say that to me, urged
Speaker 1: it just because you expected him to say that time.
Speaker 1: But this person that you met, they seem interesting, attractive,
Speaker 1: and when you send their photos to the family thread,
Speaker 1: even Uncle Todd gives the thumb up emoji. He's a stickler. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but then your new love interest sends you a message
Speaker 1: and suddenly everything changes because you're reading it. But you
Speaker 1: don't understand a word of what they said. Oh no,
Speaker 1: not that it's in a foreign language. They're they're using English,
Speaker 1: just also using the latest dating terms, and you have
Speaker 1: no idea what they mean. Yes, dude, they like me
Speaker 1: or hate me? Well, luckily, tender just added a new
Speaker 1: dating dictionary to their app, and I bet some of
Speaker 1: my co hosts won't even know what a few of
Speaker 1: these terms mean. We're gonna go over the top new
Speaker 1: dating terms. You have to know coming up at seven times.
Speaker 1: Half of being good at online dating now is just
Speaker 1: understanding what all the new dating terms and online lingo means.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, totally yeah, because what am I supposed to say? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't understand what you were saying. Recently, Tender did
Speaker 1: a poll. They found the sixty two percent of people
Speaker 1: age eighteen to twenty five feel like they speak a
Speaker 1: totally different language than their parents do when it comes
Speaker 1: to dating. Yeah, like when Alexis tells her mom, so,
Speaker 1: I'm in this situation ship with this guy, but I
Speaker 1: loki feel like he's cushioning me even though he loved
Speaker 1: bomb me hard last night on Snapchat, and her mom goes, well,
Speaker 1: as long as you're using protection and being safe your life,
Speaker 1: my daughter love bomb. I don't know what that means,
Speaker 1: but it sounds not good. But that's why. Tinder just
Speaker 1: added a new dating dictionary to their app to help
Speaker 1: older single people learn all the hot new terms that
Speaker 1: young people are using. Right now to describe dating. I
Speaker 1: don't want to hear my mom tell me she's in
Speaker 1: a situation hip. I wonder if my co hosts are
Speaker 1: going to know them all or it can at least
Speaker 1: figure them out. Let's go over a number ten. Zombiing.
Speaker 1: You remember this one? This one didn't we That's where
Speaker 1: someone who ghosted you a while ago and you consider
Speaker 1: the connection dead suddenly pops back up in your d
Speaker 1: ems and wants to start up again. Yeah, what do
Speaker 1: you kill him with? Like a wooden steak? How did
Speaker 1: zombies die? Any garlic vampire? I mean, if you're already dead? Like,
Speaker 1: how do you end something? I just block them? Yeah,
Speaker 1: fire to your phone. Number nine text relationship. You guys
Speaker 1: know that one is that when you're in a text relationship,
Speaker 1: it's where you text all the time, but you rarely
Speaker 1: ever meet up in person, just fully texted. We have
Speaker 1: people on our show that are like, We've been texting
Speaker 1: for two months and never seen each other, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: how I feel like I need to be texting somebody
Speaker 1: for a month before I trust enough to like meet
Speaker 1: up with them. I'm weird, and then we never Everyone's jaded? Yeah,
Speaker 1: is that what it comes down to. Things are going
Speaker 1: too good for just one week. Let's keep texting. Speaking
Speaker 1: of texting, number eight is dry texter. That's painful that
Speaker 1: someone who writes boring texts any emojis they a dry text?
Speaker 1: Like your mom? H she messages our group chats. I'm
Speaker 1: the ultimate dry text, right, like, don't even send a text. True,
Speaker 1: it's just like, well, we'll all be in a group chat.
Speaker 1: It just as Jeffrey read everything that one I texted
Speaker 1: the other day, and he came up to be in
Speaker 1: person and said, did you text me a good Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: jeff that's what your phones for text me back? It
Speaker 1: was so strange and overtly sexual. I wasn't sure. Number
Speaker 1: seven OS and OTP. Have you guys heard of those? After?
Speaker 1: I'm down with OTP? Are you before? You know what
Speaker 1: it means? OS is short for one night stand and
Speaker 1: OTP is short for one True pairing, meaning the perfect couple,
Speaker 1: your husband, I give my son down down. Number six
Speaker 1: sneaky link, Yeah, that's you guys, know that one. That's
Speaker 1: we're two people who hook up a lot, but they
Speaker 1: keep it secret from everybody else. We're talking about Tinder's
Speaker 1: new dating dictionary where they're helping older singles on the
Speaker 1: app learn all the new dating terms that young people
Speaker 1: have been using. Number five Eco dumping. Remember this one.
Speaker 1: This is ending a date because you learn that they're
Speaker 1: not committed enough to environmental causes in saving the planet.
Speaker 1: Is that a plastic straw on our day? I will
Speaker 1: immediately dump you. Wow, if you don't have a compost
Speaker 1: in your kitchen on the counter, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: I will say. My friends over the other day and
Speaker 1: they were drinking White Claws and they're like, hey, where's
Speaker 1: your recycle And I'm like, oh, I don't And then
Speaker 1: they got all it's because I don't drink and I
Speaker 1: never have canceled. When I do, I don't bring them
Speaker 1: to the recycle. But okay, you know there's a lot
Speaker 1: of other things you can recycle papers. I will make
Speaker 1: you a list. Was like, all right, you've infuriated by
Speaker 1: Number four French reduction introduced by friends. That's where you
Speaker 1: finally meet the person you're dating's friends for the first time.
Speaker 1: You get it is a big deal. Number Number three
Speaker 1: is riz. Yeah, what's really like? How good you're flirting?
Speaker 1: Is a game? It's short for charisma. I didn't even know.
Speaker 1: That's so, I guess the way you use it is
Speaker 1: like I went out with a guy who was dripping
Speaker 1: with Riz. Yeah mad Riz, Yeah he has Riz. Sounds
Speaker 1: like you need to go check it out. He's got
Speaker 1: the Riz number two hard launch that's where you post
Speaker 1: your first official photo together online as a couple, do
Speaker 1: your official hard launch. I feel like Avril Levine and
Speaker 1: that was a very hard launch. Didn't they get caught kissing?
Speaker 1: That wasn't like, No, they're a Paris Fashion Week privacy
Speaker 1: at Paris Fashion Week. And the number one new dating
Speaker 1: term that's in Tinder's new dating dictionary that the olds
Speaker 1: need to learn great Sunday test is that if you
Speaker 1: can hang out in your sweatpants together. Basically, it's testing
Speaker 1: how compatible you really are by hanging out on a
Speaker 1: Sunday and doing nothing together every day. Test. For me,
Speaker 1: it can be Friday night and I'm like, you want
Speaker 1: to go out right there movies to watch? Jose has
Speaker 1: the weekend test. That's the real tough one. Yeah, just
Speaker 1: me getting out of the houses the real test. Yeah,
Speaker 1: those are tinders new dating dictionary terms. You gotta now,
Speaker 1: we got your phone tap coming up Broke and Jeffrey
Speaker 1: in the morning. In today's phone tap, we call a
Speaker 1: woman who's a supervisor at a midsized company and she's
Speaker 1: been complaining recently to one of her co workers, saying
Speaker 1: the new policies that are being handed down to them
Speaker 1: from corporate she thinks they're getting a little too ridiculous
Speaker 1: and too woke for her liking. So we thought, well,
Speaker 1: if she thought the previous changes were out of control,
Speaker 1: then she's gonna love the latest one that we just
Speaker 1: came up with because the CEO just banned something. You're
Speaker 1: gonna hear it your phone tap right now on the twenties.
Speaker 1: Who Hi, This is Brandy Tracker from Corporate. HR. Is
Speaker 1: this GA? Yeah? Hi, I don't think we've met before.
Speaker 1: I'm filling in for Kate while she's on maternity leave. HI.
Speaker 1: Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you as well.
Speaker 1: I just need to pass this down. I just got
Speaker 1: out of a meeting with the CEO and there's going
Speaker 1: to be a major change coming up in the organization
Speaker 1: starting tomorrow morning. Oh wow, that's so soon it is,
Speaker 1: but it's important going forward. Once people enter the building,
Speaker 1: they'll only be allowed to hop on one foot to
Speaker 1: their desks. What just messing around? Oh? Hr humor for you,
Speaker 1: even though that does sound like a good idea. I mean,
Speaker 1: imagine it around Easter. Get it rabbits? Yeah maybe, Yeah, No, seriously,
Speaker 1: there is a new policy starting tomorrow and no turtlenecks
Speaker 1: will be allowed in the office. Oh is this one
Speaker 1: a joke too? No, this one's serious. I'm sure you
Speaker 1: can understand why. Actually, no, I don't. You didn't watch
Speaker 1: c Span yesterday. No, I'm sorry, I don't regularly watch
Speaker 1: c Span. If you did, you would have noticed that
Speaker 1: the organization saved the Turtles just won a court paddle.
Speaker 1: They believe the term turtleneck is offensive and disrespectful to
Speaker 1: the entire world turtle population. You've got to be kidding.
Speaker 1: I hear your tone, and I'm wondering, do you have
Speaker 1: an issue? No, anti turtle, I'm not anti turtle, but
Speaker 1: there's no correlation between turtlenecks and real turtles as far
Speaker 1: as I know. Well, just so we're on the same page,
Speaker 1: you should know uttering a sentence like that could be
Speaker 1: considered ignorant and borderline hate speech. What yeah, are you serious? Oh?
Speaker 1: Very Our company is and always will be pro turtle,
Speaker 1: so banning the turtlenecks hopefully sends a statement to the
Speaker 1: rest of the world. I'm not anti turtle, but I
Speaker 1: think this is a little extreme. Oh, we've actually held
Speaker 1: back for the moment on staging a turtleneck burning in
Speaker 1: the front parking lot for our social media to show solidarity.
Speaker 1: I can't believe that was even considered. We both know
Speaker 1: people love animals, Yes, I know. Yeah, anything we can
Speaker 1: do to make the public believe we love animals more
Speaker 1: than anyone else, we're going to do it. That's unethical.
Speaker 1: And second, man, that's why I'm also banning crocs. What
Speaker 1: you know, the geriatric shoe wear for molded plastic with
Speaker 1: holes in it. Oh my god. Tweens are loving it,
Speaker 1: no cap, but we're banning them. No one wears crocs
Speaker 1: to the office. You are completely missing the point. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm missing the point. It doesn't matter who or if
Speaker 1: anyone wears crocs. This is all about image. If the
Speaker 1: public beliefs were being sensitive to all crocodiles everywhere in
Speaker 1: their declining population, Okay, I really don't think anyone is
Speaker 1: going to get that. Oh, those two have nothing to
Speaker 1: do with each other. Okay, so you should just be
Speaker 1: running the company. Now. If I did, I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: doing things for image. I would actually be doing things
Speaker 1: to help these ousage you're talking about. Is that after
Speaker 1: you got canceled for hate speech? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: I don't ete turtles, just the crocodiles, I see. I
Speaker 1: don't eat the croptiles either. Well, I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 1: right now. I'm gonna tell you right now, that's not
Speaker 1: what your co worker Dustin said about you. Why all reptiles?
Speaker 1: That's not true ever, Well that's what he said in
Speaker 1: the email to the radio station when he set you
Speaker 1: up for this prank phone call. Wait, are you serious?
Speaker 1: It's just a joke. I don't work in HR. This
Speaker 1: is actually broke from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey
Speaker 1: in the morning. We're doing a phone tap on you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I was like, I love turtles. What
Speaker 1: are you talking about? Yeah? You said you've been dealing
Speaker 1: with a lot of ridiculous new policies I guess at
Speaker 1: your guys's company. So he just really wanted to push
Speaker 1: you over the edge in a turtle canceling way. Dustin
Speaker 1: knows I wear turtlenecks all the time. That was my
Speaker 1: whole wardrobe. Sorry, v next from here on out. Oh no,
Speaker 1: oh wait, that's offensive. Divenison shoot Wake up every morning
Speaker 1: with funk taps weekday mornings on the twenties Broke and
Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the Morning. It usually happens once a year
Speaker 1: on our show where we'll get an email from someone
Speaker 1: who randomly met an attractive person while at the airport.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, maybe they sat next to them on a flight,
Speaker 1: or they got tipsy at a bar together while waiting
Speaker 1: for their connection. There's a lot of trunks, yeah, show,
Speaker 1: or that one time I met someone while we were
Speaker 1: both blowing into each other's flotation devices. You were blowing
Speaker 1: into each other. Yeah. We weren't on a plane, though,
Speaker 1: so that was kind of the weird part. I don't
Speaker 1: want to know what. Anyway, we do have our first
Speaker 1: airport meetup of the year, okay, and it happened in
Speaker 1: a very strange way. You're gonna hear how in your
Speaker 1: second date update, next second date update. Yeah, thanks for
Speaker 1: getting off your phone to talk to me during the
Speaker 1: video segment. We're starting back when you were single. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to ask when you were single. Did you
Speaker 1: ever want to give up on finding love? I wasn't really.
Speaker 1: I didn't think you're going to find it anywhere. Just
Speaker 1: I don't know if that was my goal. Say, when
Speaker 1: looking for love it finds you. I really don't like
Speaker 1: I found it and I love him and I definitely
Speaker 1: wanted to get married in my life. But he was
Speaker 1: your cousin, so that you had decided, Michael, I got it,
Speaker 1: but I don't know that. I was in love with
Speaker 1: lots of different people though. Yeah. The reason I ask
Speaker 1: is because one of our listeners has been having kind
Speaker 1: of a tough time, not just finding the one, but
Speaker 1: even just locking down a date, and so now he's
Speaker 1: reaching out to us for help. His name is Hunter,
Speaker 1: A Hunter. Have you considered giving up on love yet? I? No,
Speaker 1: not giving up? Good? Okay, well maybe after this we'll
Speaker 1: push you to that point. But first, let's talk about
Speaker 1: the woman that you recently met. I guess what's her name? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of nervous to say it. Why is it inappropriate? No? No, no, inappropriate?
Speaker 1: I don't know what you've found her name out? Well,
Speaker 1: all right, her name is Jamie. Okay, we chased it. Now,
Speaker 1: there's so many of them. Sorry, I got nervous for
Speaker 1: no reason. I'm sorry, I'm this whole thing is nervous
Speaker 1: for me. That's okay, We're just trying to have a
Speaker 1: fun time with you. Like that's what makes you feel
Speaker 1: like kind of down about your dating life recently, I'm
Speaker 1: getting really frustrated. I'm going on a lot of dates
Speaker 1: and a lot of them just keep bailing on me
Speaker 1: at the last minute. Oh I don't know, Like I'm
Speaker 1: talking a couple of times I've been at the restaurant
Speaker 1: or a bar drinking hand. Oh, you're talking actual last minute.
Speaker 1: People are so flaky these days. So yeah, it really
Speaker 1: like even in friendships, people are flaky. Yeah, no, you're right.
Speaker 1: Yeah did you hear that? Hunter Brooks says, it's not you,
Speaker 1: it's everyone else in the world. Yeah, you can tell
Speaker 1: everyone should live their life, right. Yeah, it's not my fault.
Speaker 1: There must be someone else perfect. Yeah, so many humans
Speaker 1: out there. I'll use that line in my therapist. Okay, So,
Speaker 1: tells where'd you meet Jamie? Well? I met her at
Speaker 1: the airport. Oh interesting, how so? I um I saw
Speaker 1: this lady was Jamie grabbed my bag off the luggage
Speaker 1: carousel and I literally chase her down, like across the terminal.
Speaker 1: It was a black bag. I remember buying my first
Speaker 1: piece of luggage and going, wait a minute, everyone has
Speaker 1: a black pea, Like, what's the luck that it's someone
Speaker 1: that's single in your attack? Yeah, that's a good strategy, though,
Speaker 1: Just keep taking bags off of the luggage carousel to
Speaker 1: a cute person walks up, keep checking bags and hopes
Speaker 1: people will steal it. Like, yeah, so did you catch her? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I I only caught up to her and I couldn't
Speaker 1: tell what she looked like until I until I did
Speaker 1: you know? She was dry for me? And okay, so
Speaker 1: she turns around, Yeah, did you scream? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're step Oh my god? What happened? Well? I made
Speaker 1: a joke saying, uh, you know, I would have taken
Speaker 1: your bag, but I don't think i'd look as good
Speaker 1: in your clothes as you do. Oh night man, it's funny.
Speaker 1: Obviously she had a good response to that. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's all downhill from back. That's when this started happening. No,
Speaker 1: she laughed and um, and we just stood and like
Speaker 1: waited for our ubers on the corner, and we talked
Speaker 1: and I took a risk and asked for a number
Speaker 1: and made friends real quick. So, you, guys, where'd you
Speaker 1: go for your date? I have her to grab just
Speaker 1: a coffee. I wanted to keep it casual, you know,
Speaker 1: and uh yeah, we were texting in the entire week
Speaker 1: leading up to it, and she was just saying like
Speaker 1: she was excited to meet me, and then like blocked
Speaker 1: bork day of she can no, she canceled on. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know it's risky with coffee though, because it's easy
Speaker 1: to cancel on coffee because you're like she was early
Speaker 1: in the morning, Like, what's thirty minutes? It's true, Alex says,
Speaker 1: how many times have you done this to guys before
Speaker 1: it canceled? The last time, I don't even say yes
Speaker 1: to coffee dates. I could see, like it's canceling after
Speaker 1: she gets her drink. You're canceling before they even ask
Speaker 1: was she? Was she sorry? Yeah? Did she give you
Speaker 1: an excuse? No? I didn't even hear from her. And
Speaker 1: at this point it's happened so many times, Like I
Speaker 1: need to understand what's going on because there's candles be
Speaker 1: a coincidence. I mean, I hear you. I'm like canceling
Speaker 1: on coffee. But this is just happened so many times.
Speaker 1: It's weird. You can get dates, you seem charming, attractive enough. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're not even catfishing people because you're meeting people in person.
Speaker 1: Why for you? Every time I think that there's other
Speaker 1: people that want this exact same answer, I want the answer. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: I think we need to stop screaming at people, Jeff,
Speaker 1: and that'll probably. Yeah, we're gonna We're gonna call Jamie
Speaker 1: for a year and in a very even keel voice,
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask her why she's not going out
Speaker 1: with I'm gonna be super chill about answer, Jeff. All right, Hunter,
Speaker 1: her situation could be different from from the other ones.
Speaker 1: I don't know, hope, but I'd at least like to
Speaker 1: hear from her what happened, right, is that someone you
Speaker 1: met in person and actually had a connection with Yeah,
Speaker 1: or we can call every girl that's cancer Yeah, twenty
Speaker 1: five minutes segment. Or threatened to steal her luggage because
Speaker 1: now you know what it looks like. I don't know
Speaker 1: if threats are good. Yeah, we'll avoid the threats. We'll
Speaker 1: just we'll just speak with the questions to get your
Speaker 1: second date update right, second update. We just learned one
Speaker 1: of the best places to meet some one is at
Speaker 1: the airport, specifically the baggage claim area. You just stand
Speaker 1: in front of the carousel, wait for a really attractive
Speaker 1: guy or girl to walk up to a bag, and
Speaker 1: then run up and nabb it right before they do
Speaker 1: and say, oops, I thought that was mine. Now that
Speaker 1: we have our bags in common, maybe we should hook up.
Speaker 1: It's pretty good, honestly. That's almost how one of our listeners,
Speaker 1: Hunter met Jamie the other day. She accidentally took his
Speaker 1: bag thinking it was hers, so he had to go
Speaker 1: chase her down and they ended up vibing at the airport,
Speaker 1: but then she canceled the day of their coffee date,
Speaker 1: which has been happening to him over and over again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's got to be so frustrating. We agree that that's
Speaker 1: kind of become the new dating culture where people are
Speaker 1: just flaking now all the time. In fact, I'm kind
Speaker 1: of thinking of flaking on my lunch with Brooke tomorrow
Speaker 1: unless she buys again, and then I always buy. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'll come ye maybe, Hunter, how are you feeling nervous
Speaker 1: but excited to get an answer? Yeah? Maybe get some
Speaker 1: truth out of this. Figure out if it's something you've
Speaker 1: been doing wrong and you can fix it. I disagree.
Speaker 1: I think you're perfect. Hunter. Don't listen to what my
Speaker 1: house say. There's nothing wrong with you. Oh well, you
Speaker 1: know if if only I wasn't interested in women. I
Speaker 1: don't think that's where I was going with it. But
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Hunter, Jeffrey, you started this. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: may be free for lunch tomorrow. Bro, that is true.
Speaker 1: We'll see what happens with Brook. You actually blushed first?
Speaker 1: Will you buy? Are you gonna pay? Hunter? Sure? All right,
Speaker 1: got a solid plan, bo, take him. Let's call your
Speaker 1: plan a though, Jamie. Here, we'll see what she has
Speaker 1: to say. Let's do it. Hello. Hey is this Jamie? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Hey Jamie. I know this is going to sound a
Speaker 1: little bit weird, but you're talking to a morning radio
Speaker 1: show right now? Hey Jamie? Um, Hi, Yeah, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Why am I talking to a morning show right now? Oh?
Speaker 1: Good question, Jamie. The answer to that is we're doing
Speaker 1: a segment called a second date update. Okay, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think she knows what that is. It's fund
Speaker 1: a lot of date though dates. That's fun we've been dating. No, well,
Speaker 1: we hear that you're a very attractive, fun lady. Social
Speaker 1: idea yeaheprene flying along. Oh well yeah, I travel a
Speaker 1: lot for work. I'm sorry, I don't know what this
Speaker 1: is about. Well, we heard that information from one of
Speaker 1: our listeners name Hunter, who you met the other day
Speaker 1: at the airport. Ah, yeah, you remember Hunter because you
Speaker 1: didn't have a long interaction with them. Yeah, I grabbed
Speaker 1: his bag by accident and we have same bags, and
Speaker 1: that was kind of like funny, cute coincidence. Huh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean sure, what was your first impression of Hunter? Um,
Speaker 1: he's like, you know, it's kind of normal guy, but
Speaker 1: he's he's cute. Yeah, marriage material sort of thing. Whoa,
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Mean, I don't know if we felt that right
Speaker 1: off the bat, but um, I think it was a
Speaker 1: little ramped up because I had his bag. Yeah, what's good.
Speaker 1: You know, somewhere between nice and marriage material, that's a good,
Speaker 1: you know, happy medium in there. So it's a scale.
Speaker 1: But the weird part that we heard is that the
Speaker 1: two of you were supposed to go out to coffee
Speaker 1: and then yeah, something happened and you had to cancel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it didn't feel like maybe you were going to reschedule
Speaker 1: with him. Is that true? I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: think we kind of are a little different in how
Speaker 1: we approached things, So maybe it just wasn't like the
Speaker 1: best fit. How would you know that, though? How would
Speaker 1: you know that if you hadn't even hung out with them? Well,
Speaker 1: they check what text for a week? Right? Yeah? We
Speaker 1: texted for a week beforehand, and two days before he
Speaker 1: texted me and said, are we so on? I said yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm excited to see you. And then after that, like
Speaker 1: twenty four hours before, he was like, hey, we're twenty
Speaker 1: four hours out. I just want to make sure we're
Speaker 1: still on. I was like at that point, I was like,
Speaker 1: that's a little weird. I was like, yeah, we're still on.
Speaker 1: And then he sent me like text leading up to
Speaker 1: the next day it was like, hey, I'm excited to
Speaker 1: see I just want to make sure we're still on.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh yeah, I'm like really busy with work
Speaker 1: and stuff like how to respond to these texts over
Speaker 1: and over again. Do you have one of those limited
Speaker 1: text plans where you can only but I have one
Speaker 1: of those limited life plans where I don't have a
Speaker 1: lot of time to deal with, like something really high
Speaker 1: maintenance right off the bat when I haven't even met you.
Speaker 1: Like that, it's called making yourself too available. How many
Speaker 1: times did he text you asking if if you were
Speaker 1: still on let me see there was like yeah, it
Speaker 1: was like ten. He was exciting. Yeah. On the bright side,
Speaker 1: it means he was really really looking forward to seeing
Speaker 1: you again. I mean that's great. It's like you've met somebody.
Speaker 1: But like I feel like the initial meeting should be
Speaker 1: really just kind of like short to the point, and
Speaker 1: then maybe after yeah, and then after if it goes well,
Speaker 1: maybe then a little more text. But just like that
Speaker 1: was well, if the initial meeting went well, maybe the
Speaker 1: second meeting will go even better, which is going to
Speaker 1: happen in three two one, because he's on the phone
Speaker 1: right now. Okay, are you excited to meet him again?
Speaker 1: I guess, hey, hunter, look I got it him. I'm
Speaker 1: a little embarrassed hearing it all aired out like that,
Speaker 1: but I do want to I just want to give
Speaker 1: you some context. It's not so much a high maintenance thing.
Speaker 1: I just I've been canceled on last minute a lot
Speaker 1: on dates, women and it's just yea that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be putting that sort of information out there. Hunter. It
Speaker 1: doesn't sound great too. Yeah, I mean this may be
Speaker 1: the reason, buddy. No, No, that's why I was doing
Speaker 1: it with Jamie. I wasn't doing this before, but after
Speaker 1: so many times, I guess it's affected me more than
Speaker 1: I thought. Did you realize it? Wow? I mean, do
Speaker 1: you see where he's coming from, Jamie? I mean I do,
Speaker 1: But like when I don't know him at all, like
Speaker 1: to come off like that that's like my only reference
Speaker 1: point for who this person is, it just seems like
Speaker 1: a little much. Yeah. I didn't mean to come off
Speaker 1: that way. I just I was excited to go on
Speaker 1: a date with Jin. I just wanted to make sure
Speaker 1: it wasn't going to be another last minute cancelation. And
Speaker 1: I get it. I mean it's like that's just what
Speaker 1: you deal is in the stating world. So like I've
Speaker 1: been canceled on two when it sucks. But I don't
Speaker 1: think that I would like, oh, so you know the
Speaker 1: feeling that he has. Yeah, I definitely know the same thing.
Speaker 1: But it's I wouldn't just then send ten texts to
Speaker 1: somebody making sure they weren't canceling. I find a middle ground.
Speaker 1: You know, sits a middle ground. But it sounds like Hunter,
Speaker 1: you're hearing her right like you're hearing what she's saying.
Speaker 1: I do hear what she's saying. And I've heard this
Speaker 1: segment before. I know. Normally we asked if there's another
Speaker 1: date opportunity. I mean, Jamie, would you be interested? I
Speaker 1: promise someone texts you. Oh my god, that breath was
Speaker 1: not good? Yeah, Jamie, I think he's sweet. You know,
Speaker 1: he's a little jaded, a little herb from the dating scene.
Speaker 1: But and Jamie, look, I'll text you the proper about
Speaker 1: this time around him. I'll go three to six, two
Speaker 1: to four. Let's get down. Let's cut this down in writing.
Speaker 1: How many texts per day? Exactly are we going to
Speaker 1: be sending back and forth? It feels like right now, ye,
Speaker 1: who was three four texts a day? So yeah, and
Speaker 1: here's the deal, Like, if I committed something, I will
Speaker 1: show up. Well, actually you didn't show up when you
Speaker 1: committed to the last date, which that's a point. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean she was going to until all the text
Speaker 1: came in, but she didn't follow through with her commitment.
Speaker 1: That's not following through. But look, Jamie, I'm going to
Speaker 1: forgive you for that. Not only do I forgive you,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pay for your next date as long as
Speaker 1: it's Hunter. Three texts a day max, one text minimum.
Speaker 1: We're negotiating, what is this a contract? It's making it
Speaker 1: sound really unattractive. But as you will buy, I shouldn't
Speaker 1: be written on paper. I do think you should give
Speaker 1: him another chance. Yeah, Jamie, give me another chance. I
Speaker 1: want to communicate with you the proper amount. Proper I
Speaker 1: mean it's a proper amount. That sounds so like romantic.
Speaker 1: You're right, Yeah, I guess yeah, why not? All right, Okay,
Speaker 1: look at that. I love this. We're doing two texts.
Speaker 1: We're doing three texts where we're bringing on let Jamie said, too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: lock it in two texts a day or you guys
Speaker 1: are done. Yeah, he's gonna be like, oh no, I
Speaker 1: forgot to ask directions to the limit, Brookie. Jeffrey. In
Speaker 1: the morning, I just got a text from Hunter saying,
Speaker 1: do you think it's okay to text her right now?
Speaker 1: I knew it. I knew someone needs to take his
Speaker 1: phone away from we just finished, so I would give
Speaker 1: it a few hours before you finally reach out to her.
Speaker 1: His first text her is going to be like, do
Speaker 1: you mind if I text you? Yeah? And there it's
Speaker 1: one text and the second one is sure right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can stop if you want. Yeah. Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think she did bring up a good point where
Speaker 1: she said the pendulum swung too far the other way,
Speaker 1: because she was probably right. He was trying to overcorrect
Speaker 1: because he felt bad about getting digital. Many things all understandable,
Speaker 1: it really is from both sides here. But I think
Speaker 1: what Hunter needs is he needs like a dummy texter,
Speaker 1: like a buddy who he can text instead of her
Speaker 1: every time he's feeling the urge. It's like a you know,
Speaker 1: a sponsor or something and the other. If you want
Speaker 1: to volunteer to be his sponsor text person and get
Speaker 1: texted him all night, well you can give out your
Speaker 1: phone number No. Sey five nine too. But remember, if
Speaker 1: you ever want to listen to any of our second dates,
Speaker 1: you can find the podcasts of them up online wherever
Speaker 1: you get your podcast. We put him on YouTube. Now
Speaker 1: we're everywhere we are. You can't avoid us. You can't
Speaker 1: avoid us. That's your second date update. Brooke and Jeffrey
Speaker 1: in the morning. I know you all must think I
Speaker 1: just ooze confidence and manliness and unbridled macheesmo naturally the
Speaker 1: second I walk into this room. Okay, I'll be honest,
Speaker 1: think that sometimes I do need a little extra boost
Speaker 1: to reach that peak level of swag you hashtag peak swag.
Speaker 1: Take some work and I google the top three things
Speaker 1: to help instantly boost confidence, no matter what. Number one is,
Speaker 1: groom yourself like a cat, well just to look good,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, which I did to my
Speaker 1: lower half earlier. Number two, watch something that motivates you.
Speaker 1: So been some cocoa melon right before this check. And
Speaker 1: number three, imagine everyone in the room naked. That's a
Speaker 1: classic one, it don't I would like you to not.
Speaker 1: That's where my head is going to be at for
Speaker 1: the next few minutes. I can take off. Let me
Speaker 1: imagine it. Brook. I gotta say nice. Maximum confidence reached
Speaker 1: Deek swag for my new song of the Week at
Speaker 1: eight ten and Jeffrey in the morning. It is song
Speaker 1: of the week time, and I take pride in celebrating
Speaker 1: blue collar heroes everywhere for their hard work and even
Speaker 1: harder bodies. Okaylinciate you, which is why over the years,
Speaker 1: I've sang about all sorts of important jobs like garbage collectors,
Speaker 1: construction workers, mail carriers. But today is a special day. Oh,
Speaker 1: it is real. It's reserved for one very special blue
Speaker 1: collar employee who's constantly coming to the rescue. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about a certain love struck Italian plumber in red overalls
Speaker 1: with a mustache made for two Mario because today is
Speaker 1: Mario Day, March tenth or ten, which spells Mario. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and look ninety nine percent of the time, if we
Speaker 1: learned that some dude was actively running around taking shrooms
Speaker 1: and climbing down sewer pipes and mass killing turtles, he'd
Speaker 1: say one person has a serious problem and should get
Speaker 1: some help. And they're from Florida. Yeah, but not with
Speaker 1: Mario Mario, which yes, is his legal name. After being
Speaker 1: around for over forty years, he has earned a special
Speaker 1: place in all of our hearts. And that's why to
Speaker 1: celebrate Mario Day and the new Mario movie that's going
Speaker 1: to be coming out soon starring Chris Pratt. Yeah, very
Speaker 1: controversial on that, Yeah, casting, we're not weighing, and we're
Speaker 1: just happy for Mario. Yeah, dressed as Mario. Right now,
Speaker 1: People can't see you, but you're in a red jumpsuit.
Speaker 1: Red Mario hat. I feel like you should have been cast.
Speaker 1: Yeah great, once you hear my voice, you may not
Speaker 1: think so because instead of singing the new hit song
Speaker 1: by Miley Cyrus by myself Flowers, it's Young Jeffrey's Battle
Speaker 1: with Bowser too late to add to the soundtrack. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in my voice is absolutely horrible, So we'll set us
Speaker 1: up for success, jeff. But maybe it's gonna work with
Speaker 1: a Miley Cyrus song. Maybe it fits perfectly yet cigarettes
Speaker 1: Miley Cyrus. So I'm gonna point when I'm ready. We'll
Speaker 1: see how this goes for Mario points. It's a me
Speaker 1: Mario trudging down on this rainbow road. My life is absurd.
Speaker 1: Girlfriend do always gets captured. She's begging me to rescue.
Speaker 1: I'm getting tired. Peaches, royal bodyguard should all be fine Now,
Speaker 1: I gotta five bounsers and his whole couba claan. So
Speaker 1: in my flowery powers, com in some mild arsan and
Speaker 1: I'll be hunting from my knees. Tell the sewers of
Speaker 1: this lamb. It's fighty forty fighting shoe playing coin going
Speaker 1: up to accept dictake us back to the baby gutter
Speaker 1: fight the sender to you one percent less and go
Speaker 1: won't stomp on heads like my hat. The streets run
Speaker 1: red goombat tears will be Shaan Mario party once there. Dad, Now,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to murder. I didn't want to fight,
Speaker 1: but steal away my girl and I'll de shell you ride.
Speaker 1: I'm not your average plumber. I punched through bricks with
Speaker 1: my hands. I put my turtles a sundown than any
Speaker 1: plastic scroll can. I told my magic my shoes than
Speaker 1: the entire burning man. And now we're talking. Told stool
Speaker 1: is mind best his friend. I'm going gather just from
Speaker 1: the treasure, baby and gone forever on too big and
Speaker 1: better babies that want to put SEXI but herroing camera baby,
Speaker 1: it's even't matter. Still she got recaptured thing is he's
Speaker 1: really worth it? The timing's never rived. Princess Zelda damned me,
Speaker 1: So I just mind, don't leave the princess who bos
Speaker 1: she's too higy, nays, jump on the tinder for hoursless
Speaker 1: and swipe on miss pack man and will her home
Speaker 1: on my you she well, I want of the romance
Speaker 1: your retell. You play man, you can find in ten
Speaker 1: do game boys? Stay, let's be game. I'm looking tavern
Speaker 1: movement fast, baby over rolls better, my mustache attract me, staysy.
Speaker 1: I'm the Cooper Wagon team tag with my bro Luigi
Speaker 1: Michael Jordan's better. Jealous, that's my child crazy? Yes? Yeah, God?
Speaker 1: Is he really gonna leave Princess Pete? I didn't know
Speaker 1: Mary was such a bad boy. Tis one of woman
Speaker 1: get herself kidnapped? Man can only take so much. She's
Speaker 1: just like I'm a rich princess walking by myself. Oh
Speaker 1: not again? Justin seven eight five nine two. Tell us
Speaker 1: what she thought about the song of the week. We'll
Speaker 1: post the video with all the lyrics on our TikTok
Speaker 1: on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, everything at Brooke and Jeffrey, don't
Speaker 1: play some Mario game today. Mario Kart Old School Mario
Speaker 1: Dedication to the Big Ran. Happy Mario Day is coming
Speaker 1: up in just a few minutes. Brooke and Jeffrey. In
Speaker 1: the morning, you got a text into seven eighty five
Speaker 1: to nine two that says, I collect stuff from the
Speaker 1: gutter all the time. You should write a song about me.
Speaker 1: My name's Frank and I work at a holiday in
Speaker 1: Express is that part of the None of what was
Speaker 1: said there surprised me, even the sy If you miss
Speaker 1: the song though, instead of doing Miley cyruses by myself Flowers,
Speaker 1: I sang my own version called Battle with Bowser for
Speaker 1: Mario Day March tenth, which when you look at the
Speaker 1: calendar it says Mr one zero which spells Mario. So
Speaker 1: I did a tribute to the famous video game character.
Speaker 1: And Brooke, what are you seeing? Sex? People are loving
Speaker 1: this one. This one says I grew up playing Super
Speaker 1: Mario Brothers and they can't wait for the new movie.
Speaker 1: Your song put me in the right mindset. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try it. What Let's go Mario. That was good.
Speaker 1: Almost didn't offend anybody in this break good Job team.
Speaker 1: But if you like the song, if you missed it,
Speaker 1: or if you want to share it with someone in
Speaker 1: your life who's a fellow Nintendo nerd, then you can
Speaker 1: go to Brooke and Jeffrey on TikTok, Facebook, Insta, or
Speaker 1: our YouTube. Check out video of the song on there.
Speaker 1: You gotta see this one too, because jeff'son costume. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can watch me struggle to keep my voice through
Speaker 1: the entire song. You know what, we loved it. Somebody's
Speaker 1: got in Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Brooke is
Speaker 1: going for two wins in a row today and apparently
Speaker 1: hasn't won two in a row since February fifteenth. I
Speaker 1: all got to bring stuff up like that. I don't.
Speaker 1: I know, facts are not something that you support. But
Speaker 1: this is the truth. It's just true knowledge. It's out there.
Speaker 1: I want job, Could you talk about it? Maybe all
Speaker 1: the years I've won, done cares about that, especially not
Speaker 1: your new player Angel from Renton, who apparently her boyfriend
Speaker 1: lost to you a few weeks ago, so she's here
Speaker 1: to avenge his loss. Yeah, that's a good girlfriend to
Speaker 1: prove that she's smarter than her boyfriend. I mean you
Speaker 1: dumped him after he lost, right, I did not you?
Speaker 1: Did you stuck by you? Did you think about it? Well?
Speaker 1: We had you know, we have Garrett the ferret can't
Speaker 1: stand for him. Yeah, the children, that'd be a terrible
Speaker 1: trustody battle. You welcome back. Well, Brooke is going to
Speaker 1: leave the studio and while that happens, Angel, you know
Speaker 1: how the game works thirty seconds to answer as many
Speaker 1: questions as possible. If you don't know and you could
Speaker 1: say pass, but you have to beat Brooke outright to win,
Speaker 1: aren't you. Let's do it all right for avenging your
Speaker 1: boyfriend's loss. Yeah, your time starts now. It's National Mario Day.
Speaker 1: Who plays him in the new movie Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's going to be passed. What was
Speaker 1: the name of the first American colony, the Pioneers in
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety five? What was the first ever online date
Speaker 1: dating site match dot com? The Seattle Kraken's mascot is
Speaker 1: what fictional creature? What month of the year is the
Speaker 1: most profitable for Starbucks? December? Nice work there, Angel, Brooke
Speaker 1: is going to come back in the studio. How you
Speaker 1: feel like you did there? That was terrific. It is
Speaker 1: way different when you're like on the radio, and you're
Speaker 1: actually different on the spot. Now I see here that
Speaker 1: you work as a veterinary assistant, and apparently you train
Speaker 1: your cat to do tricks, your cat or your ferret,
Speaker 1: my cap but my ferret can come one called too
Speaker 1: animal circuits. Oh my god, what's the coolest trick your
Speaker 1: cat can do? Right now, we're working on her jumping
Speaker 1: on my shoulders so she can ride around. Wow. That
Speaker 1: is so sweet. You have so much patience to be
Speaker 1: able to teach a cat. Yeah. Yeah, I have a
Speaker 1: lot of scratch marks on my back to It's a
Speaker 1: cat Brook. It's your turn. Are you ready? Yeah? Your
Speaker 1: time starts now. It's National Mario Day. Who plays him
Speaker 1: in the new movie Super Mario Brothers Pratt? What was
Speaker 1: the name of the first American colony, New England in
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety five? What was the first ever online dating
Speaker 1: site match dot com? The Seattle Kraken's mascot is what
Speaker 1: fictional creature he is A I don't know what kind
Speaker 1: of creature he is. He's a monster. What month of
Speaker 1: the year is the most profitable for Starbucks? Oh, month
Speaker 1: of the year. I'm gonna go September Is that when
Speaker 1: they launched their PSL. We're gonna find out how if
Speaker 1: you're right, We're going to the scoreboard to check out
Speaker 1: how you did with Jose You ever think about doing
Speaker 1: radio every day? Angel? You got one correct today? Better
Speaker 1: than zero? Is that what your boyfriend got? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go. That's all you needed that, you know?
Speaker 1: Can you brag? Did you beat Brooke? Brooke got three?
Speaker 1: You're so cute even in losing. Let's go over the
Speaker 1: answers here. It's National Mario Day. In the new Super
Speaker 1: Mario Brothers movie, Mario's played by Chris Pratt. A lot
Speaker 1: of people upset about that. Yeah, even me. I wish
Speaker 1: you did voice, but whatever. First American colony was Jamestown
Speaker 1: in Virginia. Yeah, exactly. In nineteen ninety five. First ever
Speaker 1: online dating site was match dot com Seattle. Kracken's mascot
Speaker 1: is the fictional creature of Trolley for the Troll under
Speaker 1: the Bridge, and the month of the year that's the
Speaker 1: most profitable for Starbucks is thanks to pumpkins spice, September December. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's like also like back to school all those teachers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: good point. Now, obviously can't give you any money here, Angel,
Speaker 1: but just for playing, you do win a pair of
Speaker 1: tickets to see John Mayer perform at Climate Pledge Arena
Speaker 1: on April eleventh. Oh heck, yeah, thank you guys. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's gonna be sad when your boyfriend isn't
Speaker 1: allowed to come since he didn't were right, Yeah, and
Speaker 1: just imagine the amount of wine coolers that are going
Speaker 1: to be sold to fawning women at the concert that night.
Speaker 1: It might even rival a relaxing Tuesday night at Brooks
Speaker 1: House Wine Coolers the original Sulzer Angel. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for playing and showing up your boyfriend. Okay, thanks
Speaker 1: for having me. We'll be back to do win Brooks Box,
Speaker 1: same time on Monday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: Morning