Speaker 1: Hey, it's a broken Jeffrey podcast. And did you guys
Speaker 1: know we have listeners in Japan, Germany, k Netherlands, Italy. Wait,
Speaker 1: those actually all have super hot men, don't they Actually,
Speaker 1: if you're listening from their dm me after this, k okay,
Speaker 1: after you're in the full shower. I'm just starting right now.
Speaker 1: I keep doing it and I don't want to. But
Speaker 1: it's another food news update. There's a lot going on
Speaker 1: in the food world. It keeps happening. And this one
Speaker 1: isn't from a chain restaurant or some new product that's
Speaker 1: flying off the shelves at Walmart like edible kitty litter.
Speaker 1: It's not like last month, guys. We're not talking about
Speaker 1: that anymore. This is a new TikTok hack that's getting
Speaker 1: millions of views online because it's a new mashup that
Speaker 1: people have been trying. And here's how it works. You
Speaker 1: take a fruit roll up. I've seen you unroll it,
Speaker 1: lay it out flat, and then you put a scoop
Speaker 1: of ice cream in the middle and roll it back up.
Speaker 1: Mind blown right here. Now. The interesting thing that everybody's
Speaker 1: freaking out about online is the ice cream instantly freezes
Speaker 1: the fruit roll up so it turns crunchy. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: say it's so sticky. That's what you would think, But
Speaker 1: apparently that's not the case. Now immediately your roll up
Speaker 1: has a little bit of a crunch to it, and
Speaker 1: so some people are using like strawberry or mango ice cream,
Speaker 1: so it's like fruit on fruit vanilla. But what are
Speaker 1: the chocolate lovers too? I mean this fee that doesn't
Speaker 1: include us. Yeah, you can move on to the next one.
Speaker 1: Frozen fruit on top of processed fruit. They're saying it's
Speaker 1: really tasty, like a frozen hot pocket. I just I was.
Speaker 1: We need to get a poll up on our Twitter, Jeffy,
Speaker 1: if you don't follow us yet, tell us does a
Speaker 1: crunchy ice cream fruit roll up sound disgusting or delightful?
Speaker 1: I'll have my husband packet in the kids lunches tomorrow, right,
Speaker 1: And speaking of something delightful in your mouth? Digital Jake,
Speaker 1: why don't you shoot up some tasty trivia in there?
Speaker 1: Baby bird into our ears for a yummy shot collar
Speaker 1: question of the day. I'm ready. In my lifetime, I
Speaker 1: can think of two uniquely impressive losing streaks. The first
Speaker 1: was from nineteen ninety one to nineteen ninety four, when
Speaker 1: the Buffalo Bills football team reached the Super Bowl four
Speaker 1: years in a row and lost every single time. Fed
Speaker 1: the other monumental losing streak, Jeffrey losing five straight games
Speaker 1: of cap or no Cat has while even Alexis is
Speaker 1: nailing her answers. It's my new lifetime low Buffalo Bills
Speaker 1: of the shot collar right now. But what do we
Speaker 1: do when we fall off the buffalo, Jeff? We get
Speaker 1: back on. Yeah, so strap on your buffalo saddles and
Speaker 1: dust off your boots with the fur for another illustrious
Speaker 1: edition of cap or no cap dust them off if
Speaker 1: you wear those all the time. Yeah, well, redemption starts
Speaker 1: right now, Jeff. You're going first, Jeff. A tornado made
Speaker 1: of flames is called a fire devil cap or no cap. Interesting,
Speaker 1: it's interesting. A dust devil is a thing. Oh on
Speaker 1: the ones that pull out the leaves in the plastic
Speaker 1: bags in the schoolyard. Yeah, I mean, fire tornadoes definitely happen,
Speaker 1: right Like, if you have a big fire happened, I'm
Speaker 1: to worry about another natural disaster in a fire. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: I just thought it was like, oh, those looks at
Speaker 1: some fire clouds out there, guys, I think that's real.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say no cap on that. Jeff says, no cap,
Speaker 1: And that's no cap. You want the super Bowl. When
Speaker 1: a tornado meets a wildfire, it makes a fire devil
Speaker 1: and you should run Jeffer on the next round. Alexis, Okay,
Speaker 1: you're a Hendix has the ability to grow back after
Speaker 1: being removed or no cap. That's crazy. But why would
Speaker 1: people get it removed then if it just comes back
Speaker 1: because it's problematic. I want to take the bad stuff out.
Speaker 1: Even if it does come back maintenance nice five years,
Speaker 1: you need to get it taken out again. That'd be
Speaker 1: so nice. If anything you took out you grew back better.
Speaker 1: But I don't think it. I'm gonna go that's cap, Jake.
Speaker 1: Alexis says cap. That's cap. Hendix cannot grow back, but
Speaker 1: your tonsils can grow back if they really careful. Why dude,
Speaker 1: those tonsils don't die. Alexis and Jeff are safe so far.
Speaker 1: Jose Thomas Jefferson brought over the first baseball mit from France.
Speaker 1: Cap or no cap. Wow, that offended me somehow, I
Speaker 1: don't why did it offend you? Well, it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that it was baseball. Maybe it was used for something else. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it could have been a different sport. Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 1: I'm a big sports guy and I just thought baseball's
Speaker 1: America's games. I could be wrong, but I do like
Speaker 1: the thought of like, you know, they're good cooks, maybe
Speaker 1: they use mits for other things or just guy was like, hey,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, that would catch a real good hot
Speaker 1: bag as Yeah. So I think the more I think
Speaker 1: about this, I'm gonna go with it. I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: that's no cap. Jose says, no cap, and that's cap
Speaker 1: my instinct. Baseball wasn't invented until twenty years after Jefferson died.
Speaker 1: But he did bring over the recipe for ice cream
Speaker 1: oh oh with the fruit roll up? Or did he brook?
Speaker 1: Thomas Jefferson brought over the first ice cream recipe from France,
Speaker 1: cap or no cap? It just feels so French, right,
Speaker 1: like the cream and the decadence of ice cream. Didn't
Speaker 1: he bring over mac es? Yeah, he's printed it with
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff that he brought over ice cream.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's so French. I'm going to give
Speaker 1: it to Thomas Jefferson. He loved a course to meal.
Speaker 1: You don't think it was Sunday. Maybe, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go no cap. Brook says, no cap, And
Speaker 1: that's no cap. It was for vanilla ice cream, and
Speaker 1: it maiden serving his kitchen for the rest of his life. Yeah, so,
Speaker 1: Jeff Brooke and Alexis are moving out of the championship round. Wrong,
Speaker 1: you're a k being shocked, Jeffrey. If a donkey and
Speaker 1: a zebra had a baby, the Animal Kingdom calls it
Speaker 1: a debra spelled like debra cap or no cap. I
Speaker 1: think it'd be a zony. I think it's a real thing.
Speaker 1: Those are real pictures. I don't think i've ever seen
Speaker 1: in the title it's called a debra. Do you think
Speaker 1: it's Yeah? Do you think zonkey is just fun to say?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say I'm calling cap on it. Jeff says cap.
Speaker 1: That's cap. Alexis. The word nerd was coined by author
Speaker 1: Shell Silverstein. Cap or no cap. I don't know what
Speaker 1: they write though, so that doesn't really the giving tree
Speaker 1: where the sidewalk ends. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, it's familiar. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know a lot about nature and they're an author,
Speaker 1: so maybe they did come up with the term nerd.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say no cap. Jake Alexis says, no cap.
Speaker 1: That's cap. Alexis, you're up for being shocked. It was
Speaker 1: first used by doctor Seuss if I ran the zoo before.
Speaker 1: Doctor SEUs may have the word nerd. Brook, yes, human
Speaker 1: urine on a jellyfish sting takes the pain away. Cap
Speaker 1: or no cap. This is a urban I have been
Speaker 1: stung by jellyfish and it hurts. I hate it. You
Speaker 1: be on it? No, because people I think would be
Speaker 1: every it's an old wives tale. I don't think it
Speaker 1: actually does anything. I think i'm gonna say cap. Brook
Speaker 1: says cap, and that's cap. It's a myth. Expert say
Speaker 1: remove the stinger and then soak it in warm water.
Speaker 1: Brook and Jeff, you didn't get any wrong. You choose
Speaker 1: to get shocked. We're going to Disney World, Alexis. Okay,
Speaker 1: why I know you've been shocked a lot lately. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, Alexus, pick up a book every once in
Speaker 1: a while. All right, you're gonna take the shock. Alexus
Speaker 1: and somebody wanted to hear Dynamite by Tao Cruise. I
Speaker 1: throw my hands open the air sometimes say I want
Speaker 1: to celebrate and live my life. Say an a some fact,
Speaker 1: Thomas Jefferson brought that song over to America. That's your
Speaker 1: shot color question of the day, Broke and Jeffrey in
Speaker 1: the morning. It's all the different zombie apocalypse movies and
Speaker 1: TV shows that are out right now have me thinking
Speaker 1: what would happen if zombies ambushed our studio? How did
Speaker 1: that go? Do they know what the elevator? I don't know.
Speaker 1: We do have stares. I mean, they may put on
Speaker 1: a better show than we're doing. That's true. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel like Jose, I'm sorry, buddy, you're the first to go.
Speaker 1: We're sacrificing. Yeah, you're the most nutritious to all those veggies,
Speaker 1: even eat I do have a very high fiber. Alexis
Speaker 1: would probably be next because she would try to date
Speaker 1: the rich one in a suit and Brook, I'm worried
Speaker 1: for you, Broke. I mean, when do you ever see
Speaker 1: a character with giant mister Magoo Glasses be the last
Speaker 1: one to survive the zombies? I mean, but it's a
Speaker 1: good point, you know, way with Glasses ever survived. Here's
Speaker 1: the good news. We probably never have to worry about it.
Speaker 1: Because zombies love brains. And every week we do a
Speaker 1: segment to remind people we don't have any of that
Speaker 1: over here. We share what's on our mind. We're gonna
Speaker 1: do it. Coming up Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Well,
Speaker 1: no time for jokes or shenanigans or silly play this morning.
Speaker 1: So Jose stopped tickling me under the table with your foot.
Speaker 1: Okay though, Okay, I got your back because we gotta
Speaker 1: do my hair. It is actually kind of Cute's on
Speaker 1: your mind where we go around the room asking the
Speaker 1: host of this show what we've been thinking about lately,
Speaker 1: starting with Brooke, Brooke, what's on your mind? Oh? Our fan, Ray,
Speaker 1: you have been on our social media at all? You
Speaker 1: have seen that there was an eleven year old boy
Speaker 1: name Ray who lives in Vietnam and he wrote us
Speaker 1: a letter so cute. It was a fan letter to
Speaker 1: all of you. Jeffrey was his number one. He ranked
Speaker 1: us all at Jose, I think you're three or four
Speaker 1: lesson for like nine. Yeah, but you were all in
Speaker 1: the top ten, including Digital Jake, Ashton, Ashley, and then Ray.
Speaker 1: Let me know, I sat at one hundred. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: And then you would have rated you lower, but one
Speaker 1: hundred is as high as he can count. Right now,
Speaker 1: he's eleven. Yeah, I gotta say expertly told me it
Speaker 1: was savage. But here's the thing. Ray's big question is
Speaker 1: can I have a zoom meeting with you? Guys? I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you, Ray, I'm the keeper of your letter
Speaker 1: and you can't. That's going to make him like you
Speaker 1: better unless you go through me first. You and I
Speaker 1: Ray are going to have a zoom meeting, and if
Speaker 1: you want to meet the rest of these fools, I
Speaker 1: guess it sounding a very fun zoom start liking me.
Speaker 1: I think I could win Ray over. I really like
Speaker 1: bullying him on the radio right now. Really, you're threatening
Speaker 1: him to not let him get what he wants unless
Speaker 1: he talks to you. How high up, rug, do you
Speaker 1: have to go from one hundred to be able to
Speaker 1: meet us and think just top eighty? Okay to like me?
Speaker 1: And if anyone has any tips and how do you
Speaker 1: get just like how to be cool with a fifth
Speaker 1: grader or six? I'm not sure which grade? You take
Speaker 1: back everything you just said. You just got knocked down
Speaker 1: the number two hundred, Jose, what's on your mind? Well,
Speaker 1: about a week ago, I was talking to this cute
Speaker 1: girl who added me on Instagram, and the conversations all flirty,
Speaker 1: and we're just talking about like hanging out, and eventually
Speaker 1: she starts telling me quote, just so you know you
Speaker 1: cannot handle me. It's a classical line. Everybody says that.
Speaker 1: And she goes, I have a mouth on me and
Speaker 1: I am always right. So then I'm like, oh, we're
Speaker 1: talking about like just in general. Yeah, I don't thought
Speaker 1: we were talking about something, you know, other stuff. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Let's continues, okay, and she keeps giving me warnings about herself.
Speaker 1: She's like, I just want to let you know I'm
Speaker 1: an Aquarius, which means I'm always right. You should have
Speaker 1: figured this out by now. Are you saying I'm a
Speaker 1: green with you the whole time? I have two strikes
Speaker 1: and I am about to get a third. So I'm
Speaker 1: like okay. And then, you know, time goes by a
Speaker 1: couple days, and at this point I'm just honest with
Speaker 1: her and I tell her, Hey, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: think I actually like want to meet up anymore. You know,
Speaker 1: I just like the vibe wasn't there. Yeah Yeah, And
Speaker 1: she flips out on yeah, I mean, are you surprised
Speaker 1: by this? No? But okay, like you're shocked. And I
Speaker 1: don't know why she kept telling you who she was,
Speaker 1: And this is my fault. I'm an idiot. I wasn't
Speaker 1: taking her serious. I thought she was being playful, like
Speaker 1: I'm always right, I'm a firecracker. You better watch I
Speaker 1: ever playful I thought it was. And then this time
Speaker 1: she tells me she could tell that I had bad
Speaker 1: character from the second she talked to me, and I
Speaker 1: have a quote beta complex and I'm just a weak
Speaker 1: man fish problem. Maybe the problem is she knows you
Speaker 1: too well. Yeah, yeah, this is pretty spot on. Anyway,
Speaker 1: A day later she hits me up and she aped
Speaker 1: cycle and then at the end of it, she goes,
Speaker 1: are you still down to hang out though? What after
Speaker 1: you yelled at me and goll me names you said, yes,
Speaker 1: what's been on your mind? So you guys know, but
Speaker 1: for our listeners that don't we have like two phone
Speaker 1: booth kind of areas in the office. Yeah, because we
Speaker 1: have an open office, so they're exactly so like rooms
Speaker 1: with just a chair in the sliding door that shut
Speaker 1: up so exactly. I've gone to them for like the
Speaker 1: past years now, anytime I need to make a phone
Speaker 1: call that I didn't want people to hear me make
Speaker 1: out here. And then that's when the other day I
Speaker 1: walked by and I heard someone's entire conversation they were
Speaker 1: having me. Yea, I thought they were soundproof, and they're not. No,
Speaker 1: I found a long time I didn't know that I
Speaker 1: have said some things in there recently. I really didn't
Speaker 1: want anybody to hear things like what I see. I
Speaker 1: don't I got'm gonna say, but I think people in
Speaker 1: the office might know. Now, who makes a phone booth
Speaker 1: without soundproof walls? Yeah? What is the point? They couldn't
Speaker 1: even make paint that sticks on our door? Do you
Speaker 1: say it like the whole place is falling? It's no sense.
Speaker 1: It's more like the place to go get gossip. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now we know where all the crying in the offices
Speaker 1: coming from. All right, Jeffrey, what's on your mind? Well?
Speaker 1: The other day I felt like I was a little
Speaker 1: bit down and needed some cheering up. So I went
Speaker 1: to a children's arcade and I wanted to play the
Speaker 1: Papa Shot basketball game. So I was there and there
Speaker 1: was a kid that was playing it ahead of me,
Speaker 1: So I'm waiting, and he does really well and ends
Speaker 1: up getting the new high score. So he gets all
Speaker 1: excited and he runs off, and that's when I jump
Speaker 1: on and start playing. And for some reason, I am
Speaker 1: on fire. I am like MJ Game six, just buckets, buckets,
Speaker 1: look shot behind my back. Everything is going in, but
Speaker 1: I sink the final shot and you got to keep
Speaker 1: the follow through going yeah, hold the limprist to hold it.
Speaker 1: And then I turned around and there's the kid behind
Speaker 1: me with both of his parents waiting to show them
Speaker 1: his high school, and I just beat it. Jeffrey and
Speaker 1: his face the look of disbelief. But in that moment,
Speaker 1: I knew that lessons were learned and new champions were crowned.
Speaker 1: And you guys know, I needed a victory in my life,
Speaker 1: even if it was against the nine year old in
Speaker 1: front of his parents. I am happy to take that win.
Speaker 1: I was just beating up on kids. That's our new
Speaker 1: m on Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, congrats on
Speaker 1: the new high school. Life isn't fair, and you take
Speaker 1: your victories where you can get, ye cry. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was too busy doing my victory laughter. He moved
Speaker 1: to skiball. Next, that's what's on our minds? Texting tell
Speaker 1: us what's been on yours. It's brooken Jeffrey in the morning,
Speaker 1: got some messages coming in on the text board with
Speaker 1: people telling us what's been on their minds. This one says,
Speaker 1: what's been on my mind is teaching my deaf puppy
Speaker 1: more tricks. They say, at least I think he's deaf.
Speaker 1: I think maybe he's just ignoring you because he doesn't
Speaker 1: like you. A little obvious. Keep on trying, I guess.
Speaker 1: Another person said, what's on my mind? My sister keeps
Speaker 1: having people over at our house every single night and
Speaker 1: it's driving me crazy. Are the people your parents? Because
Speaker 1: I think they probably live there too, so I'd be
Speaker 1: cool with it, except it's the same couple every time,
Speaker 1: our gosh dang parents, Laney, I grew up with these fools.
Speaker 1: I don't need to see them every day. You know what,
Speaker 1: You just send him over to Jose's place. He is
Speaker 1: great with parents, Jeffrey who always brings his parents to
Speaker 1: Jose whatever they have to do and not have to
Speaker 1: talk to me. That's good. And remember go and follow
Speaker 1: us online at Brooke and Jeffrey tell your parents to
Speaker 1: follow us online too. They like it, stop annoying you.
Speaker 1: If they get they can find us on Facebook. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're on there, We're everywhere. Jeffrey Laser Stories coming up
Speaker 1: right after this. It's the radio segment whose father has
Speaker 1: the Heart of a Lion and a lifetime ban from
Speaker 1: the local Big Cat Sanctuary. Laser Stories. It's a segment
Speaker 1: where we read weird news stories around the globe, just
Speaker 1: like everyone else does, except we have a laser and
Speaker 1: those other MoU fassamongers just don't. This first Laser Stories
Speaker 1: out of China. In two thousand and nine, a thirty
Speaker 1: three year old man named Lou Mofu robbed a gas
Speaker 1: station of one hundred and fifty six one, which is
Speaker 1: approximately twenty four dollars. No, those gas station robberies never
Speaker 1: work out the way people play on them to too late.
Speaker 1: And then afterwards he disappeared. There's a long time, that
Speaker 1: is till the other day, fourteen years later, when Lu
Speaker 1: showed up at a police station to finally turn himself in,
Speaker 1: and he told authorities he'd been hiding out in a
Speaker 1: remote cave for a decade and a half. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: The big question is why Apparently, when Lou heard authorities
Speaker 1: were looking for him, he got scared and found his
Speaker 1: hiding spot a mile away from town. Then managed to
Speaker 1: survive by hunting and scavenging for food to protect himself
Speaker 1: from wild animals. Lou lived with several stray dogs just
Speaker 1: a mile from out. Do you think the gobs we've
Speaker 1: been like, Man, that's kind of an overreaction. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: you're a ticket or baby dead. A month in jail,
Speaker 1: he told police that he regrets what he did, especially
Speaker 1: missing important family events including his father's funeral and his
Speaker 1: son's wedding, but now he wants to come home and
Speaker 1: just lead a normal life. They're like, we didn't even
Speaker 1: really have a computer system that was tracking stuff back then.
Speaker 1: See you're good. Yeah, I wouldn't even remember you, not
Speaker 1: really really, Because the problem is, since his crime happened
Speaker 1: in two thousand and nine involving the use of weapons,
Speaker 1: the cops had to go back to the old laws.
Speaker 1: And yes, it was only twenty four dollars he stole,
Speaker 1: but Lou still faces a minimum of three years and
Speaker 1: a maximum of ten years in prison. But I mean,
Speaker 1: compared to where he's been living, the food's going to
Speaker 1: be better. His next size of story is out of
Speaker 1: the Windy City. This is a serious accusation for a
Speaker 1: company that has the word wings right there in the name.
Speaker 1: Some guy in Chicago is suing Buffalo Wild Wings and
Speaker 1: claims their boneless wings are really just chicken nuggets. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: his basic argument is that if you call something wings,
Speaker 1: most people would assume that they're made of actual wing meat.
Speaker 1: But in this case, it's really just chunks of breast
Speaker 1: meat that's deep fried and made to look like wings.
Speaker 1: At those Kim drumsticks. Well, here's the picture of the
Speaker 1: boneless wings. I mean, they look like their bones. I
Speaker 1: hate to run it by. Fred works there, and they
Speaker 1: sent her across the street to buy frozen nuggets one day.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, that was just one day. Though. The
Speaker 1: company's not even denying it. They actually downplayed the lawsuit
Speaker 1: in a tweet that said, quote, it's true, our boneless
Speaker 1: wings are all white meat chicken, our hamburgers contain no ham,
Speaker 1: and our buffalo wings are zero percent buffalo. All right,
Speaker 1: jokes jokes until they have to pay like four million dollars. Yeah,
Speaker 1: technically they're not really nuggets either. Normally those are made
Speaker 1: with reconstituted meat that gets shaped like nuggets. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: the guys suing claims their product is closer to nuggets
Speaker 1: than actual deboned wings. Well, it is shaped like a wing,
Speaker 1: so they're shaping supping. Yeah. The lawsuit also notes that
Speaker 1: other companies sell similar menu items but don't call them wings.
Speaker 1: For example, Papa John's calls them chicken poppers, So he
Speaker 1: thinks they should do something like that. Okay, he's seeking
Speaker 1: an unspecified amount in compensation, probably somewhere in the millions. Okay,
Speaker 1: it seems fair. Do with the I think Tyson, the
Speaker 1: frozen food company, they just put a Z on it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's actually as their stories out of Florida, if you
Speaker 1: went to a cafe called We Spy Coffee and More,
Speaker 1: you probably assume the and more is other drinks that
Speaker 1: they offer, or maybe some pastries or something. Yeah, other
Speaker 1: things that they're spying on. But you'd be wrong, because
Speaker 1: recently a man was in the restroom at We Spy
Speaker 1: Coffee and More in Florida and he noticed the camera
Speaker 1: recording him from underneath the sink. He confronted the employees
Speaker 1: and then called the cops. But like it's in the name,
Speaker 1: did you not hear about buffalo wild wings getting in troubles.
Speaker 1: We're being very specific. The police came and arrested a
Speaker 1: thirty one year old man who was identified as an
Speaker 1: employee and business partner of the cafe. His name Spyridon
Speaker 1: vulgaracus I said his first name, little John was Spyridon,
Speaker 1: and he owned a spy cafe and he was using
Speaker 1: to spy on people in the name. I know it
Speaker 1: sounds like a joke, but it is real. And Spyridon
Speaker 1: admitted that he placed the camera there and recorded the
Speaker 1: victim and other males using that restaurant. Okay, true, you
Speaker 1: know he's been doing it. Sucks to be you guys.
Speaker 1: It's good. No, it's not good. It's just like for
Speaker 1: a first, it's not us wants to know where the
Speaker 1: link to the vie. He's been doing it for a
Speaker 1: month now, so cops want to talk to anyone else
Speaker 1: who they think maybe a victim's. Spyridon was charged with
Speaker 1: battery and video voyeurism. Battery, you beat somebody up from
Speaker 1: the whole thing too, batteries in the camera, very literal.
Speaker 1: Maybe the battery to himself while watching the videos. This
Speaker 1: next laser stories out of the world of Wokes. The
Speaker 1: White House Easter egg Roll is the annual tradition hosted
Speaker 1: by the President and the First Lady where you've seen
Speaker 1: that where the children roll their eggs down the hill
Speaker 1: to see whose egg can get the farthest. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: even though this tradition has been around since eighteen seventy eight,
Speaker 1: the animal activists over at PETA say they'd like one
Speaker 1: small change to the event. Don't get rid of the
Speaker 1: Easter bunny please. They're asking the White House to use
Speaker 1: reusable plastic or wooden or even lovely painted rocks instead
Speaker 1: of real eggs. Okay, I didn't know eggs were issued too,
Speaker 1: I mean, okay. The reason why is they want it
Speaker 1: to be inclusive for any children who don't consume eggs
Speaker 1: for ethical, environmental or health reasons. None of the kids
Speaker 1: are eating the eggs, are rolling them, but just being
Speaker 1: around an egg is offensive to those the air. Everyone's
Speaker 1: just spooning the air as long as healthy. No word
Speaker 1: on if the White House is seriously considering their idea.
Speaker 1: But with the price of eggs up nearly seventy percent
Speaker 1: amid the deadliest Avian flu outbreak on record, Peter says
Speaker 1: there's no better time to change the Easter tradition so
Speaker 1: it doesn't prop up the cruel egg industry. Inflation is
Speaker 1: even hit the egg. Yeah, that serious. The one person
Speaker 1: who's staying out of this potential political mess is this guy.
Speaker 1: He's already caught enough heat from some compromising photos of
Speaker 1: him on Hunter Biden's laptop. Those guys had a heck
Speaker 1: of a time together in Europe, so he's staying out
Speaker 1: of it. That sound means Laser Stories has come to
Speaker 1: an end for the day. We'll do it again, same
Speaker 1: time on Friday, Broke and Jeffrey in the morning. Everybody
Speaker 1: has one in their social group, the one upper, that
Speaker 1: person who, no matter what you say, they have to
Speaker 1: chime in with a bigger, better story to top it. Yep,
Speaker 1: It's like whenever we mentioned poor people on the show,
Speaker 1: Brook jumps in. I grew up even poorer. I am
Speaker 1: trashier to Our family used to have sewer Saturdays. It
Speaker 1: was the one day of the week we could actually
Speaker 1: bathe when our family go down to the sewer and
Speaker 1: we found lunch down there too. Listen, Oh, it even
Speaker 1: trashier than that. I'm just telling you stories of my life.
Speaker 1: Ye up anybody to somebody? Yeah, we like one downers. Actually,
Speaker 1: we have a whole segment that features them, where two
Speaker 1: people compete and share the worst dating stories they've ever had,
Speaker 1: and it just gets worse than worse and worse. It's
Speaker 1: a brand new Battle of the Tinder We're gonna do
Speaker 1: it at seven ten two Hopeless one Dating app arwife Right,
Speaker 1: the question is whose love life is more tragic? It's
Speaker 1: Battle the Tinder Dates. Little bo Pete may have lost
Speaker 1: her sheep, but this segment helped her lose her self respect.
Speaker 1: Battle of the Tinder Dates, where two of our listeners
Speaker 1: go head to head to find out whose dating life
Speaker 1: is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just
Speaker 1: a second, but first let's meet today's contestants. In this corner,
Speaker 1: her bedroom playlist consists of eight straight hours of NonStop
Speaker 1: elevator music, and yes, she needs all eight hours. Meet
Speaker 1: Generica Erica, and in the other corner, instead of drinking
Speaker 1: till she gets beer goggles, she prefers to cut right
Speaker 1: to the chase and rubs ointment directly in her eyes.
Speaker 1: Meet Neo spor and Laura. Everybody's sexy when your visions blur? Oh,
Speaker 1: my god, don't put that in your eyes. Here's how
Speaker 1: the game works. One contestant will start by telling one
Speaker 1: of their worst dating stories, then the other will try
Speaker 1: and counter with a nightmare story of their own. We're
Speaker 1: going back and forth for three rounds, so we declare
Speaker 1: a winner. Starting things off with Generica Erica go. I
Speaker 1: was going okay when suddenly all of the lights went out.
Speaker 1: Oh no, romantic, I don't know, like the powers out. No,
Speaker 1: here's electricity without off because he didn't pay the bill.
Speaker 1: I bet he had a lot of candles. I mean,
Speaker 1: we've all been in that place where it happens every
Speaker 1: too often. Yeah, but wait here it is. He says,
Speaker 1: if I could chip in, he would pay you back. Oh, elec,
Speaker 1: and you did, no, did not. You're the on that day.
Speaker 1: So I was out with drinks with a guy and
Speaker 1: I thought we were having a great time. And it
Speaker 1: was late, it was about one am, and he s
Speaker 1: he needed a minute. So I see him walk across
Speaker 1: the room of the bar and I can kind of
Speaker 1: see him because it's it's a little crowded, okay, And
Speaker 1: I can him pull out his phone and he starts crying.
Speaker 1: He's crying didn't get a terrible text or something. That's
Speaker 1: what I thought. He like seemed to like good it
Speaker 1: for like a few minutes, gathered himself back up together,
Speaker 1: and they came over to me and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: what's up? Is everything all right? Because I thought somebody
Speaker 1: had died, right? He was like, oh no, he just
Speaker 1: drunk called his ex every night at one am to
Speaker 1: say he misses her. Oh oh, that girl needs to
Speaker 1: block numbers. A hopeless romance? Do you like a normal
Speaker 1: people doing? Just stalk her Facebook? Around two Erica? So
Speaker 1: a gap brought me to a restaurant and as we're
Speaker 1: walking in, he said he used to be a regular,
Speaker 1: but okay, and he didn't know if they remembered him
Speaker 1: or not. All right, it sounds all kind of cool,
Speaker 1: right right, But then we get there and there's a
Speaker 1: picture of his face hanging on the door saying no entry.
Speaker 1: Oh oh no, remember? Is it like electricity guy? Then
Speaker 1: he went to bounce check mand or what happened? It
Speaker 1: starts out he used to it down and dance there
Speaker 1: over five, very proud of it, and you didn't even
Speaker 1: get to try it with him? Yeahs Lauren, can you
Speaker 1: counter my date? Came over to my house and we
Speaker 1: were making out of my couch and he said he
Speaker 1: needed to go to the bathroom, but instead of going
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, and he peed in my cat's litter box. What.
Speaker 1: I was so stocked, but I was like, what the hell?
Speaker 1: And he had like his roommates and him to do
Speaker 1: it all the time at their place to save money
Speaker 1: on water crystals. He scooped his own clumps in the
Speaker 1: final round. These needs to be your best stories, Erica.
Speaker 1: What he got? So I bonded with this guy from
Speaker 1: tender Over True Crime podcast. We absolutely love them too.
Speaker 1: I mean I think it's normal for girls to like them.
Speaker 1: Do you guys normally like that stuff? Universal? Yeah. But
Speaker 1: then we start talking about what he does for a living.
Speaker 1: Turns out he worked in a morgue and asked if
Speaker 1: I wanted eight hour wa does this dream come true?
Speaker 1: Or does it creep you out? I mean I say yes,
Speaker 1: you know. We started walking around and he points to
Speaker 1: the casket in the back and asked me, dude, I
Speaker 1: want to say the night God. Do you want to
Speaker 1: get in girl? We buy yourself or with Maybe it's
Speaker 1: one of those caskets for two ye it's like a
Speaker 1: double decker woman. No, Lauren, this was the last chance.
Speaker 1: Went out with a guy who called himself and we
Speaker 1: stun my festival rapper, Oh said my professional Yeah. He said,
Speaker 1: whatever I'd order, he'd rap about it. Oh fine, okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I said okay, and I ordered a pint of
Speaker 1: beers and he's like he tried for like five minutes,
Speaker 1: so couldn't sugger any word that rhymed with pint. It
Speaker 1: was really embarrassing. Tight tight almost a bad word. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he gave up and he was throw like a shamed
Speaker 1: with himself. He just went home and like he had
Speaker 1: to rethink his whole career. He could have just gone
Speaker 1: with beer instead. So many things. That's the plot of
Speaker 1: eight mile, right, Yeah. The final bell means the match
Speaker 1: is over, Judges, we need to score it. Alexis who
Speaker 1: wins today? I'm going Lauren for the kitty litterbox guy.
Speaker 1: We got one for Neo spor and Lauren Brooke Erica.
Speaker 1: With all those poor men, I'm going to sleep in
Speaker 1: a casket Erica. Okay, the decision comes down to Jose.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with sleeping in a casket Erica. Yeah,
Speaker 1: congratulations Generica Erica, you have such a disastrous dating life.
Speaker 1: Even a room full of radio degenerates take pity on you.
Speaker 1: I never win anything. Yeah, it's not much, but it's something.
Speaker 1: Put it on your Tinder bio. Now that's Battle of
Speaker 1: the Tinder dates. Phone tabs coming up right after that
Speaker 1: broken Jeffrey in the morning. In today's phone tab, we
Speaker 1: call a lady who's complained to her apartment several times
Speaker 1: about a loud dog barking somewhere in her building. Oh,
Speaker 1: I hate that. That's hard. It's disrupting her while she's
Speaker 1: trying to work from home. So what are we going
Speaker 1: to do about it? Well, just like jose when you
Speaker 1: get noise complaints in your apartment about being too loud
Speaker 1: and too funny on your twitch street. Yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: never too funny, but yeah, too loud. But when't you
Speaker 1: rather the person reach out with you and talk to you,
Speaker 1: like directly about it? Yeah, yes, I would just love that.
Speaker 1: That's not too awkward. No, well I could be, but
Speaker 1: probably not. Well, that's what we do. And Timid Benjamin,
Speaker 1: he's going to defend his pup in your phone tap
Speaker 1: right now. On the twenties, Hello, Hello. UM, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Who is this. My name is Benjamin. I live in
Speaker 1: your building. Management gave me your phone number. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: what I said? Management, the managers of the building that
Speaker 1: you live in. Sorry, do you need to clean some
Speaker 1: dirt out of your ears so you can hear better?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry? What is this regarding? You've been complaining about
Speaker 1: a dog barking in the building and that dog is mine? Um,
Speaker 1: and then you said management gave you my number? That's right?
Speaker 1: Oh god? Did we talk things out? Huh? Okay, that
Speaker 1: is so. I just didn't think that they would give
Speaker 1: you my phone number, did you? Did you hear me before?
Speaker 1: My name is Benjamin? Benjamin? And okay, my dog's name
Speaker 1: is Demon okay, as in Satan. Yeah, okay, that's what
Speaker 1: I thought you said. Yeah. Demon's a real sweetheart. So
Speaker 1: I don't want to make this a big thing. I
Speaker 1: love animals, But it doesn't sound like it been complaining.
Speaker 1: I have spoken up because your dog has been disruptive
Speaker 1: to like the apartment's environment. You've maybe you've been disruptive
Speaker 1: to my dog and he's speaking up? What have you
Speaker 1: have you ever thought about that? No? Because I never
Speaker 1: have met your dog because you don't care about dog rights, don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to respond to that. I like,
Speaker 1: if you have your dog bark all day, so that's
Speaker 1: that's that is? What do you want to do about it? Um? Huh,
Speaker 1: Well I would like I would like management to take
Speaker 1: care of it, but I don't know what can be done.
Speaker 1: You shut up. It's my turn. What is wrong with you?
Speaker 1: I have a solution that would fix things pretty quick.
Speaker 1: Why why don't you move? Okay, no, no, this is
Speaker 1: not This is not how neighbors talk to each other.
Speaker 1: And this is maybe why your dog is so disrespectful
Speaker 1: and barking all day because you don't have boundary. Excuse me,
Speaker 1: what did you say to me? Your dog barks all day?
Speaker 1: Like I've worked from home, I am on like called
Speaker 1: all day zooms. Everyone's like, what's up with your dog?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's not even my dog. I have
Speaker 1: no idea where that dog is. Do you know who
Speaker 1: my mom is? What you're about to she's really rich.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna I'm gonna have her by the apartment
Speaker 1: building and then we're gonna kick you out the street. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: why don't you get your mom's money. Sorry, I was
Speaker 1: just picturing you out on the street. Who are you?
Speaker 1: My name's My name's Benjamin. Do I have to repeat
Speaker 1: myself from a third time. What I want is for
Speaker 1: your mom to buy you a dog walker. My mom
Speaker 1: wouldn't like the way you're talking to me. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: how old are you? I'm thirty four years old, okay,
Speaker 1: and you need your mommy to come and like stick
Speaker 1: up for you. Dude, Just take care of your dog.
Speaker 1: You're you're pretty fiery. Huh yeah, I guess I'm a
Speaker 1: little stressed out because I can't get any work done.
Speaker 1: I like a woman who's got some firing. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, no no no. I don't know what
Speaker 1: you're doing right now. But again, don't be afraid of
Speaker 1: a good thing. Don't fight it. No, just give in
Speaker 1: to ta No. An angel on your left shoulder and
Speaker 1: a deatment on your right, and I want you to
Speaker 1: listen to the demon. Dog's name is demon too. We're
Speaker 1: your friend. Please just take care of your dog. Don't
Speaker 1: ever call me again, okay, because I'm going to report
Speaker 1: this to management. Have you ever been with a man
Speaker 1: who wears ostracoshsh My mom says cordright overalls are still sexy.
Speaker 1: Please don't do that. And this is very uncomfortable. It's
Speaker 1: making me a little uncomfortable too. What's going on? What
Speaker 1: is going on? This is a brank call. Ellen. My
Speaker 1: name is jeff from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey
Speaker 1: in the Morning. Oh my god, can you roommate? Emma
Speaker 1: set you up? Oh my god, Oh thank god. Emma
Speaker 1: said that you've heard some dog going nuts all day
Speaker 1: in your apartment building and you've been complaining to management
Speaker 1: about it, so she thought we could mess with you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, your mom going to buy the building
Speaker 1: and kick me out? Are you kidding? But then when
Speaker 1: you got kicked out, you could move in with me
Speaker 1: and deep week up every morning with phone tabs weekday
Speaker 1: mornings on the twenties Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 1: We all have embarrassing things that we learned a little
Speaker 1: bit later in life, you know, like Alexis, for example,
Speaker 1: recently discovered Houston is not the name of the guy
Speaker 1: that astronauts are talking to from space. Yeah, that's really confusing.
Speaker 1: Or what about when Alexis learned that rotating your tires
Speaker 1: doesn't actually mean spinning them around on the also should
Speaker 1: have been taught out in school. Yeah, Or what about
Speaker 1: when Alexis learned that gorilla warfare isn't literally militant gorillas
Speaker 1: wearing compound boots and fighting each Yeah, this war so cute. Later,
Speaker 1: and recently, one of our listeners was out with a
Speaker 1: guy who took a chance to be vulnerable and admit
Speaker 1: to her he never learned a very basic life skill.
Speaker 1: But instead of making fun of him, she used it
Speaker 1: as an opportunity to teach him and create a memorable
Speaker 1: date night. But was it maybe too embarrassing to the
Speaker 1: point that he's now avoiding her. We're gonna find out
Speaker 1: what happened and try to get her another shot in
Speaker 1: a brand new second date update right after this second
Speaker 1: date update, Alexis, how many times has Brooke offered to
Speaker 1: set you up on a date with a guy she
Speaker 1: knows and you've said things good? Yeah? What do you
Speaker 1: not trust Brooke to have any cool, young, hunky male
Speaker 1: friends for you? I think we have different definitions a cool,
Speaker 1: young hunky Yeah? Or are you worried that you're going
Speaker 1: to show up and it's going to be a play
Speaker 1: date with her son? That might be better than you.
Speaker 1: Guys are almost the same age. Yeah, a couple. One day, well,
Speaker 1: one of our listeners, Lily, was fighting the same way
Speaker 1: Alexis was. Her friend wanted to set her up on
Speaker 1: a date, and Lily kept on saying no, Lily, welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. How you doing. Hey, I'm good. It's
Speaker 1: good to be here. I mean, I take it your
Speaker 1: friend wasn't good help because you're calling us instead. Actually
Speaker 1: that's the thing. My friend ended up being great help.
Speaker 1: Oh oh that's not usual. Yeah, well, so she hasn't
Speaker 1: been trying to set me up for a long time.
Speaker 1: I've been single for probably about a year. Now. Is
Speaker 1: she one that like sets you up with anyone she knows?
Speaker 1: Or is it the same person she's been trying to
Speaker 1: hook you up with? Yeah, yeah, the same person. Oh
Speaker 1: well that's weird too, because now it's like this guy
Speaker 1: can't get a date either, So that's smart. Well, hey,
Speaker 1: you're both red flags though, Yeah, very vibrant. I heard
Speaker 1: red and red mate green. Yeah so you eventually met
Speaker 1: up with him? Yeah? Well I kept saying no, you know,
Speaker 1: because my whole idea was like, look, I can find
Speaker 1: a guy on my own, you know, like I don't
Speaker 1: want to ruin our friendship if things get weird, like
Speaker 1: the guy doesn't work for it. And that's why, you know,
Speaker 1: I think she just might feel bad. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just didn't want to like make things weird between us. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's a different level of pressure when it's all right.
Speaker 1: Do you know this guy's name? Yeah, his name was Matt,
Speaker 1: Matt Matt. And did you get to like look at
Speaker 1: his socials? Like, did she give you any proof of
Speaker 1: what the goods were beforehand? No? She was just like
Speaker 1: take it from me, trust me. This guy as a winner, Like,
Speaker 1: I think you would really hit it off. She must
Speaker 1: be persistent for you to finally cave. He was, because
Speaker 1: I didn't cave. She tricked me, Oh what do you mean. Yes,
Speaker 1: we had a big work event the other week. Do
Speaker 1: you like celebrate the big work win? So we all
Speaker 1: went out to the club, and after the club, somebody
Speaker 1: was like, hey, let's bring the party back to my place.
Speaker 1: So we all ended up at a house party and
Speaker 1: he was there and that was by design. Yeah, definitely. Okay,
Speaker 1: So what did you think when you saw Matt? So
Speaker 1: he's easy on the eyes, he's great, and we ended
Speaker 1: up just chatting casual style because you didn't do the
Speaker 1: formal chat with him. He didn't take a large bow.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's nice. But did he know that your friend
Speaker 1: had been trying to hook you two up? Because sometimes
Speaker 1: that's really awkward, but it's also could be something you
Speaker 1: bond over. He didn't say, oh, we didn't say you
Speaker 1: don't know if you knew? Oh, I don't know. But
Speaker 1: at one point in our conversation he just drops that
Speaker 1: he doesn't know how to drive, and I was like, wait, what, like,
Speaker 1: is it that he never tried to learn, or that
Speaker 1: he tried so many times and failed that he gave
Speaker 1: up or legally could get a license? I mean, can
Speaker 1: you actually fail that many times? I don't know. No,
Speaker 1: he just never bothered to learn it. Just this wasn't
Speaker 1: a thing. Yeah, if you live in a big city,
Speaker 1: you really don't need that just got their license. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's because you're fourteen. Or maybe he's from a
Speaker 1: wealthy family where he has a chauffeur and he doesn't
Speaker 1: need to learn. Okay, that was my thought first time. Okay,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. I mean, was that okay with you? Well,
Speaker 1: so of course it's getting late and I'm in a
Speaker 1: very good food So I'm like, hold up, I'm going
Speaker 1: to teach you how to drive right now. Come with
Speaker 1: me late night after the club, girl, I think after
Speaker 1: the club, after the house park yes, oh no. Basically
Speaker 1: we went to a nearby mall parking lot and I
Speaker 1: taught him about to drive. Fun because I just remember, lord,
Speaker 1: I need to drive with my dad and a lot
Speaker 1: of screaming and yelling at each other, stressful. And how
Speaker 1: many casualties were there that night? Thankfully none. I thought
Speaker 1: it was a fun time. We just drove in circles
Speaker 1: and laughed a lot, and at the end he thanked
Speaker 1: me for teaching him, and there was a little kiss. Oh.
Speaker 1: I thanked my driving instructor the same way, kiss and
Speaker 1: drive in the backseat. Next so I drove him back
Speaker 1: to his place, he kissed me good night, and that
Speaker 1: was it. Oh my god, technically a little. I mean.
Speaker 1: The next day we texted back and forth a little
Speaker 1: bit and it was just like a yeah, thanks, that
Speaker 1: was fun. Ha ha. They laughed a lot. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that was fun. Bye. Okay, yeah he was more lighthearted
Speaker 1: than that. Okay, okay, have you checked with your friend
Speaker 1: who is setting you guys up. I'm sure she totally knows. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course I checked with her because I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you were right. He's amazing and we
Speaker 1: had a great time. Yeah, kis like out but no, no,
Speaker 1: she hasn't heard from him either, and she is just
Speaker 1: as frustrated about this as I am, because for once,
Speaker 1: her matchmaking skills seem to have worked. Yeah, right, maybe drive.
Speaker 1: He's like, I'm finally going to be able to go
Speaker 1: on a road. Yeah. Yeah, he's in another country right now,
Speaker 1: getting dozens of dates left and right. We're gonna find out.
Speaker 1: We're gonna call him in just a minute here, and
Speaker 1: Brooke is gonna backseat drive the conversation of a job
Speaker 1: I'm doing. Somebody needs to be in control. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: do your second date update right after this second date.
Speaker 1: How many rom coms have that scene where one character
Speaker 1: teaches the other how to drive a stick shift through
Speaker 1: a cornfield and then they veer off almost hit a cow,
Speaker 1: and they laugh about it and make out for hours
Speaker 1: in the backseat. Dang, I haven't seen that. I didn't
Speaker 1: that either. Yeah, yeah, who's in that one country? Ryan
Speaker 1: Gosling and white Girl here, White Girl, Well that scene
Speaker 1: played out in real life the other day for our listener, Lily,
Speaker 1: I don't think the kind I mean, no cows it
Speaker 1: was and it was just a regular automatic car with
Speaker 1: a millennial who hadn't learned for the first thirty years
Speaker 1: of his life how to drive. But she taught him
Speaker 1: how and it turned out to be a great night
Speaker 1: with laughter and kissing. But now the romance is stuck
Speaker 1: in neutral. So we're gonna call this guy and try
Speaker 1: and kick it back into drive a sport mode. If yeah,
Speaker 1: you ready to do this, Lily, I'm so ready. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think we're like four cylinder show. It's fine insurance
Speaker 1: doesn't I mean, I'm excited for you. It's weird that
Speaker 1: your friend doesn't know either. That was so adamant that
Speaker 1: you two go out. I think that that's the strangest
Speaker 1: part is he's not just calling not you back, but
Speaker 1: not talking to her either. Yeah right, yeah, he just
Speaker 1: like disappeared or something. I don't know. Crazy. Well, let's
Speaker 1: get some answers. I'm gonna call him right now. We'll
Speaker 1: see what he has to say. Here we go. Hello, Hey,
Speaker 1: is this Matt speaking who says my name is Jeff.
Speaker 1: You may have heard this voice before on a radio
Speaker 1: show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. He doesn't drive,
Speaker 1: You may not listen, that's true. Do you have podcasts? Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm not familiar with it sor right. Well, you're on
Speaker 1: a segment right now called a Second Date Update, and
Speaker 1: we're trying to help one of our listeners get back
Speaker 1: in touch with you after you two hung out the
Speaker 1: other night. Her name's Lily. Oh my god. Oh well,
Speaker 1: really is that a good or about Oh, we can't tell,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't. Um, I don't really want to
Speaker 1: talk about this. That's okay, okay, okay, I understand your hesitation,
Speaker 1: but this is how the segment works. Like Lily knows
Speaker 1: that she may be hearing something that might be a
Speaker 1: little awkward, a little uncomfortable, but she's just super confused
Speaker 1: after having a really nice time with you the other night. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just, um, is this a very difficult situation? Really
Speaker 1: on your side? Is it something personal for you then,
Speaker 1: because it sounds pretty easy on her side. She liked you,
Speaker 1: she'd like to go out again. Yeah, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: it's very much on my side. Okay, Oh all right,
Speaker 1: do you plan to reach out to Lily at any point.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm just trying to figure out a way to
Speaker 1: do it. What do you mean, just with a call
Speaker 1: or a tech Maybe we can help you out if
Speaker 1: you're going through something and you need to like work
Speaker 1: things through. Um wait a minute, So are you like
Speaker 1: involved with somebody, because you can just be honest with
Speaker 1: us about that, bro. No, No, I'm not involved with anybody.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's more complicated than that. You're married,
Speaker 1: you're involved with many people. No, not that either. Do
Speaker 1: you want us to just play the guessing game for you? Yes?
Speaker 1: I don't think there's any way you guys would guess
Speaker 1: this one. All right, if you could give us just
Speaker 1: a little bit of information, because Lily could really use
Speaker 1: a little closure on this. She really felt for you
Speaker 1: the night that she hung out, and she's been completely
Speaker 1: out of whack for the last week trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what's going on. Okay, Um, I liked her too.
Speaker 1: So we have a mutual friend who's been like trying
Speaker 1: to set us up for like two or three months. Now.
Speaker 1: Oh you did know about that? Okay? Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was in on it. And we met at the
Speaker 1: party and we had this amazing experience and driving around
Speaker 1: the parking lot of this some mall and she was
Speaker 1: really cool. So you know, I lived near our friend,
Speaker 1: so I just like walked over her house the next morning,
Speaker 1: excited to tell her the news, and I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: Lily and I we finally went out on that day.
Speaker 1: So you did talk to her friend? Oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: she was I don't know how to scratch. She just
Speaker 1: like had this look of shock on her face. I
Speaker 1: thought she was the one that set it all up,
Speaker 1: so you guys wouldn't meet at the part. Well that's
Speaker 1: what I thought. So then she just like blurked out
Speaker 1: that she was just upset because she and like her
Speaker 1: trying to like set me up with Lili has decided
Speaker 1: that she's now like fallen for me. What hold on? Yeah, Oh,
Speaker 1: Lily's friend admits that she has feelings for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I thought she was joking, So, you know, did
Speaker 1: you laugh? I sure did, Oh wow, But she was like,
Speaker 1: it's not a joke. Oh no, she wants to be
Speaker 1: with me, and I like her as a friend. We've
Speaker 1: known each other for a long time, but I never
Speaker 1: thought of her that way, especially with her trying to
Speaker 1: get me to date somebody else. So it sounds like
Speaker 1: there might be there might actually be feelings there for
Speaker 1: Lily's friend too, from the way you're talking about it.
Speaker 1: I don't know I had I'd never thought about it.
Speaker 1: I understand because they do say a lot of times
Speaker 1: when your friends first things tend to bet. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's why is she sitting It's like telling somebody to
Speaker 1: order fries when it's you that really wants the fries. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe she was hoping that Lily would reject him so
Speaker 1: that she would be like, see, I guess there's nobody
Speaker 1: left for you. But that's a weird way to go
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, that's going to be a lot of information, Matt.
Speaker 1: It's not a horrible position for you to be in,
Speaker 1: but it's kind of a really bad situation for Lily. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys got to tell him now. I just gotta
Speaker 1: tell you, Matt, this is super awkward. But Lily's been
Speaker 1: on the other line listening and heard the whole thing. What. Yeah, Hey,
Speaker 1: that's Lily. Hey Matt, Hey, Hey Lily. Oh, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1: I still know you were on the like on this call.
Speaker 1: I it's not how I wanted you to find out.
Speaker 1: I so overwhelmed. I just I don't know what this means.
Speaker 1: Like I thought my friend had my best interest at
Speaker 1: heart and had my back, and now I just feel like,
Speaker 1: I'll say, it doesn't sound like your friend did this
Speaker 1: maliciously or tried to hurt you in any way. I
Speaker 1: feel like maybe your friend lied to you on purpose.
Speaker 1: She definitely lied about saying that she didn't hear from
Speaker 1: Matt after the date. Well, what is she going to say?
Speaker 1: I heard from him. I confessed my love to him.
Speaker 1: I thought she doesn't know what to say either. Probably
Speaker 1: defense Lily, she was trying to tell you how great
Speaker 1: of a guy she he is, and he's so great
Speaker 1: of a guy. She felt for him too. I mean,
Speaker 1: it makes sense. She's like trying to convince you over
Speaker 1: and over again, and then it finally dawns in her, like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, am I going for him? It's really
Speaker 1: making me rethink our entire friendship and like what else
Speaker 1: she might be keeping from me? That's oh, Matt, this
Speaker 1: is so messy for you to be in. Yeah, man,
Speaker 1: I don't want to ruin anyone's friendship like mine with
Speaker 1: our friend or you guys, so the three of us
Speaker 1: could get together, get in a room talking out. This
Speaker 1: is good problem solving. Let's all have some drinks again.
Speaker 1: But what's wrong? What's wrong with that broke? It's not
Speaker 1: what the women want. If you were twenty years younger
Speaker 1: and a few drinks deep, you would be all over this.
Speaker 1: You'd say, seven more girls in here and let's have
Speaker 1: a really good time. God, Matt, have you gone out
Speaker 1: with the other girl already? The friend? No, not at all? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: jokes aside. In all honesty, Matt sounds pretty sincere, like
Speaker 1: he just wants them to all be together so they
Speaker 1: could talk about what's really going on. The secrecy and
Speaker 1: the keeping things from each other. That's not working. So Matt,
Speaker 1: I just I don't know what the right course of
Speaker 1: action here is because I liked you, and I man,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I really I don't have an answer
Speaker 1: for you. I think I think you gotta talk to
Speaker 1: our friends first. Oh man, So you can't decide between them. Still,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a matter of deciding. I mean, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that'd be a pretty messy road for Matt to take.
Speaker 1: So I mean, maybe it's not a bad idea for
Speaker 1: all three of you guys to talk it out together
Speaker 1: and we could pay to have you meet up at
Speaker 1: a restaurant or something like that. Oh, whoa, that's I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta put the gotta put a big old
Speaker 1: yellow flag out there on that one want to talk
Speaker 1: to you don't like restaurants? Should we go somewhere else? No,
Speaker 1: I just I've got so much to work out. I
Speaker 1: had no idea this is gonna go this direction. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry this is happening. I know this is a lot.
Speaker 1: Keep us posted. Yeah, I hope more than anything your friendship,
Speaker 1: you know, true gets through this. And then Matt, I mean,
Speaker 1: you're in a win win situation, so yeah, let us
Speaker 1: know who you think. Matt. I don't know if it
Speaker 1: win win as you guys think. Okay, Okay, I mean
Speaker 1: if I if I end up with either of them,
Speaker 1: it's you know, there's gonna be the baggage of the
Speaker 1: last week. It's gonna be tough. Just like when you
Speaker 1: learn parallel parking from one of them. It's like the
Speaker 1: same thing. You're gonna have one of them behind you
Speaker 1: being like Noah, God, do the other thing crank the
Speaker 1: wheel to the right. You know, a lot of adults
Speaker 1: don't know how to drive guys working Jeffrey in the morning. Man,
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to ask Lily if she would
Speaker 1: like to do an awkward Tuesday phone call to her
Speaker 1: friend one. I don't know, I'm sure. Well, it seemed
Speaker 1: like Lily was kind of reeling in the moment, So
Speaker 1: maybe we'll ask her off the air. Yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: like we can. Oh god, she is going to need
Speaker 1: help with that convo though, ye freend obviously is it
Speaker 1: coming to her? She knows it's so awkward. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I've heard that stuff happen sometimes where you're close with
Speaker 1: a person and you try and set them up romantically
Speaker 1: and suddenly you catch feelings and end up dating them.
Speaker 1: Oh man, you've heard that before. I feel like it's
Speaker 1: the opposite me. Two girls are fighting, like, come on
Speaker 1: you no. I really hope that we do get an
Speaker 1: update though from this invested in there to find out
Speaker 1: who he picks or if he picks no one and
Speaker 1: goes in a completely different direction. I mean, maybe after
Speaker 1: this he doesn't have any choices anymore, or maybe we
Speaker 1: broke him from dating forever. So if you'd like to
Speaker 1: be broken from dating forever. Email the show we can
Speaker 1: help make that happen, and you can always catch any
Speaker 1: of our second eight Update podcasts online where if you
Speaker 1: find your podcast A Broken Jeffrey Broke and Jeffrey in
Speaker 1: the Morning. Okay, I'm gonna spare you any terrible Irish accent,
Speaker 1: but I am going to let you know that with
Speaker 1: Saint Patty's Day coming up, you better be prepared with
Speaker 1: your corn beef and your potatoes, and those potatoes better
Speaker 1: be coming from Washington State. Did you know that Washington
Speaker 1: State potato farmers produced twenty three percent of all the
Speaker 1: potatoes grown in the US. And that information is coming
Speaker 1: from an Idaho girl. Washington yields more potatoes per acre
Speaker 1: than my home state. So get ready for your best
Speaker 1: Saint Patty's Day celebration ever by finding some recipes and
Speaker 1: some inspiration for an Irish feast souper easy website, It's
Speaker 1: just Potatoes dot Com. Yesterday I challenged Brooks to get
Speaker 1: more than three answers right. There was a simple ask,
Speaker 1: and yeah, she won, but barely by getting two answers correct.
Speaker 1: I don't here to satisfy you, Jeffrey. I'm here to
Speaker 1: keep my money. Yeah, I'm here for okay yourself. You're
Speaker 1: lucky that you've been facing nothing but tired moms all week.
Speaker 1: Like minded. Okay, and we've got another one on the
Speaker 1: phone trying to take your money this time. Her name's Lacy. No,
Speaker 1: her name is Sarah from Lacy And apparently last time
Speaker 1: that she played, she had her twins in the back
Speaker 1: seat and had to throw candy at them to get
Speaker 1: them to shut up. Oh that's right, how that works, Sarah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were happy, but it was difficult. They were only
Speaker 1: one and a half and now they're five. Well, it's
Speaker 1: like tired. It's like we're raising them. Yeah yeah, oh
Speaker 1: man in the back right now? Still? Can we say? Hi?
Speaker 1: I hope they're at school, Jose, they're not. You can't
Speaker 1: guard it yet. You're so close, girlfriend, you are so close,
Speaker 1: and then you never have to see them again. Dude.
Speaker 1: It's a game changer, and it's so much better for
Speaker 1: your wallet. Like I love public school. Oh yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm all about the public school system. Nice, all right,
Speaker 1: we're from public school on this show. This definitely a
Speaker 1: bold statement the tired mom segment. Here we go. Are
Speaker 1: you ready, Sarah? You got thirty seconds to answer as
Speaker 1: many questions as possible. If you don't know, you could
Speaker 1: say pass. You have be broke out right, so win.
Speaker 1: Here we go. Your time starts now. On this day
Speaker 1: in forty four BC. What historical figure was assassinated Andrew?
Speaker 1: Phobia is the fear of whom man or women name
Speaker 1: the type of flowers that Vincent van Gogh is famous
Speaker 1: for painting. Oh, I don't pass. What animal's head appears
Speaker 1: on the top of Mary poppins umbrella as not an
Speaker 1: Ostrich Ostridge? Let go with a Bostritch. Yeah, let's bring
Speaker 1: broke back into the studio. And Sarah, I see here
Speaker 1: that you work insurance and you love it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: actually really enjoy it. So when you guys play about
Speaker 1: our insurance company is stealing your money, I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: next time we'll just say except Sarah. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: They all hate you except Sarah pleasant Brook. You're up.
Speaker 1: Are you ready? Yes, let's try and bring the number
Speaker 1: of correct answers up today. That's a good attitude. Go,
Speaker 1: let's do it now. On this day in forty four BC,
Speaker 1: what historical figure was assassinated? What forty four BC? Uh
Speaker 1: Caesar Andrew. Phobia is the fear of whom men or
Speaker 1: women men name. The type of flowers that Vincent van
Speaker 1: Go is famous for painting flowers? What animal's head appears
Speaker 1: on the top of Mary Poppin's umbrella? A parrot at
Speaker 1: a French restaurant. If you're eating s cargo, what are
Speaker 1: you consuming? The fruit? What fruit got its name? By
Speaker 1: the way? It hangs like a bunch of grapes. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go with three. I have no idea. It's like
Speaker 1: a bunch of It's not great, are embarrassing? That was
Speaker 1: solid again. Let's go to the scoreboard and check it out.
Speaker 1: You bolted with Jose. Let's do tomorrow. Rat hit the
Speaker 1: deck video Jose wrestling is invisible. Friend. It was like
Speaker 1: my first year on the show. You guys used to
Speaker 1: make me do things for my pay. That's Jose. What's
Speaker 1: the score, Jose? So Sarah, you did well. You got
Speaker 1: one correct today. You check her sweet time. You took
Speaker 1: her time. Brooke didn't get a couple of extra questions
Speaker 1: in and she didn't even need him. She got five.
Speaker 1: That is a grape fruit? Like this last question is
Speaker 1: driving a night. We'll get the answers right now on
Speaker 1: this day in forty four BC. The historical figure that
Speaker 1: was assassinated was Julius Caesar. What I know that Julius
Speaker 1: Caesar on the IDEs of March Andrew. Phobia is the
Speaker 1: fear of men's Greek word for male. The type of
Speaker 1: flower of Vincent van Gos, famous for painting is sunflowers.
Speaker 1: On Mary Poppin's umbrella, you'll find a parrot head on
Speaker 1: the top of it. I wish it was an ostrich
Speaker 1: though for you. One. If you're eating s cargo, you're
Speaker 1: having snails. And the fruit that got its name, by
Speaker 1: the way it hangs like a bunch of grapes, is grapefruit.
Speaker 1: That makes sense. I never really thought about why we
Speaker 1: would call it that. It's red. They don't. They just
Speaker 1: hang like oranges though, but oh they do. Yeah. Now, Sarah,
Speaker 1: you know we can't give you any money here, but
Speaker 1: just for playing, you do win a family four pack
Speaker 1: of tickets to see Paw Patrol Live. Hey, Sarah, pack
Speaker 1: is back in on a roll headed to Angel. The
Speaker 1: wins Arena April fourth and fifth, set sail for adventure
Speaker 1: with the pirate Pups of Paw Patrol and get more
Speaker 1: info at paw Patrol live dot com. We're gonna be
Speaker 1: so happy. Yeah, yeah, it'll be fun. It'll be a
Speaker 1: good time but perfect. Thank you so much. We appreciate
Speaker 1: you playing. And if you ever need insurance to help,
Speaker 1: call Sarah from Lacy. Yes, thank you. Guys, have a
Speaker 1: good day. We'll be back to the win Brooks Buck
Speaker 1: same time tomorrow, brook and Jeffrey in the morning.