Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui away now offering free remote
Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred Duyowa
Speaker 1: dot com or call. There are certain topics that men
Speaker 1: can talk about for hours, like weird smells, obscure sports
Speaker 1: statistics from the last sixty years. Let's get started into it.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is just a list of why
Speaker 1: I'm glad I'm not a man, And of course small
Speaker 1: improvements that they're making to different parts of their house.
Speaker 1: My dad spent three hours showing me the new kitchen
Speaker 1: skylight that he just paid. Just wait till it leaks.
Speaker 1: That's another going to be They really take pride in it.
Speaker 1: That's why we call a guy who's been super excited
Speaker 1: about the new top of the line security system that's
Speaker 1: getting installed at his home today, but he's about to
Speaker 1: learn that maybe the premium package wasn't quite as high
Speaker 1: tech as he expected it to be. It's your phone's
Speaker 1: app right now on the twenties. Hello, Hello, there is
Speaker 1: is this a mister Evans? Uh? Yeah, who's calling? Hi?
Speaker 1: My name is Matteo, but my friends call me tick
Speaker 1: that I'm calling from Bring Security. Man, I'm almost done
Speaker 1: installing your new system. Oh that's awesome. Yeah yeah, I
Speaker 1: see who signed up for a premium package. That's why
Speaker 1: I have one final question. I need to do one
Speaker 1: more thing. Where would you like the ten thousand legos
Speaker 1: at the bottom of the stairs maybe, or like the
Speaker 1: hallway or the kitchen perhaps? What do you what do
Speaker 1: you do? You take legos? Yeah? Ten thousand legos? Where
Speaker 1: do you want them? I'm maybe we're maybe we're confused.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about legos. Why are there legos
Speaker 1: involved in my security system? Sorry to laugh, Homi, have
Speaker 1: you ever stepped on a lego before? It's like stepping
Speaker 1: on knives, like if knives had knives. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying that? Sorry? Wait is this a joke? No,
Speaker 1: not at all, man, I just need to know, like
Speaker 1: what shape of legos would you like? Like? Not what
Speaker 1: the square ones? Or would you like the long rectangular ones?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I mean we can talk
Speaker 1: about colors later. Yeah I didn't. I didn't ask for that.
Speaker 1: I wanted, like the premium system, the top package. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and this is it homes. This is exactly what we're doing.
Speaker 1: You know, nobody else in your neighborhood's gonna have this
Speaker 1: type of top security legos or top security or well
Speaker 1: it's not just legos, you know what I'm saying. Like,
Speaker 1: for instance, when you walk into the front door, I
Speaker 1: should warn you, man, there's a trigger wire for like
Speaker 1: five different paint buckets that will drop from the banister.
Speaker 1: So you're gonna want to like kind of she me
Speaker 1: to the net. Wait wait you mean wait, saint buckets
Speaker 1: like in home alone paint buckets. Oh you've seen my work. Huh.
Speaker 1: I'm the guy who did all of that. Man, wait
Speaker 1: like for the movie or yeah, you see. Men. Look,
Speaker 1: I used to be on the other end, right, Like
Speaker 1: I used to break into houses and stuff. So then
Speaker 1: like years ago, I changed my ways and now I'm
Speaker 1: on the other side. I work for security. This is
Speaker 1: not what That's why I'm their top security installation manager
Speaker 1: homes because I know how the criminals think. Is say,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, and you walk into the
Speaker 1: front door and you got a bunch of paint buckets.
Speaker 1: Oh man, that's just that's incrimination. Man, if you could
Speaker 1: have pained on you or whatever, you gotta stop, you
Speaker 1: undo everything you just did, and just I don't know,
Speaker 1: put it like a regular security. That's not easy, man,
Speaker 1: because like what am I gonna do with the live scorpions? Right?
Speaker 1: Live scorpions? Dude, I don't care what you do, but
Speaker 1: they better not be in my house. Well no, I mean,
Speaker 1: like I couldn't get my hands on a tarantula or whatever.
Speaker 1: So like I got a couple live scorpions from the
Speaker 1: pest door, and they're highly poisonous, right, and if you're
Speaker 1: going to call an exterminator, man, I don't want this.
Speaker 1: Don't you worry? Man, They're only gonna be released if
Speaker 1: the backdoors open, So don't you just don't use the
Speaker 1: backdoor and then you'll be fine. Yeah, don't use the
Speaker 1: back Are you joking? Like I said, this is up
Speaker 1: of the line, man, They're not gonna God. I mean
Speaker 1: I spend thousands of dollars to like, you know, update
Speaker 1: like the walls and the windows and like camera. It's like,
Speaker 1: this is not this is not what I signed up for. Oh, sir,
Speaker 1: I would stay away from all of the windows from
Speaker 1: now on, Okay, I wouldn't. Why what did you do
Speaker 1: to the windows? I put grease all over all of them, man,
Speaker 1: so like people can't climb in and out, and if
Speaker 1: they do, they'll slip and fall. None of this is
Speaker 1: on the website. Where is anything I didn't opt into
Speaker 1: any of this, Sir, you can't put it on the
Speaker 1: website because that's where all the criminals are gonna. Look.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, We're gonna think ahead. You
Speaker 1: want them to be element of surprise. I can't even
Speaker 1: argue with that. But this is not what I signed
Speaker 1: up for. My neighbors should be his, and he would
Speaker 1: do it. You can just use it from your phone.
Speaker 1: It's not an eye sword. There's no legos. I have
Speaker 1: to interrupt you, man, Like that's the problem. Like every
Speaker 1: home has like sensors and like, oh no, a loud
Speaker 1: beeping noise, Like that's not gonna deter a burglar. You
Speaker 1: know what's going to burglar is the bag of wrench
Speaker 1: and tools that I put in your garage. No one
Speaker 1: wants the back of wrenches and tools. Man, give me
Speaker 1: a regular security system. Okay, man, But like Lauren's the
Speaker 1: one who let me in. Your wife, she told me everything.
Speaker 1: She was like, put the scorpions here. Why has my
Speaker 1: wife's a dowelf with this? Then she has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with it. I put in the order. No, she
Speaker 1: strictly put it in. She said, prank phone called my
Speaker 1: husband because he's totally gonna fall for it. He's excited
Speaker 1: about a new security system. And so that's why this
Speaker 1: is not even real. I'm totally messing with you. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is a joke. There's no legos. No, this is
Speaker 1: actually jose Man. We're from the rat show Brick and
Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the Morning, and this is the all of setup. Dude. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna kill her. No, do not kill her, man. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: if you want, man, we could put some traps out
Speaker 1: and we could catch her. I can explode the toilet.
Speaker 1: I forgot to tell you there's a sensor on there, man, don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, I already did, but in another way before
Speaker 1: I left a wake up every morning with funk taps
Speaker 1: weekday mornings on the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 1: Monday