Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys book. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: I'm correct, We're sorry about last night anti sluck shaming podcast.
Speaker 1: I never stopped y'all fucker's Welcome to another episode of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked. It's anti slu shaming podcast. I'm Karren
Speaker 1: Christine really cracking myself, really went a hardcore with that.
Speaker 1: Just another day. That was a lot that was I
Speaker 1: wasn't letting out anything. I'm actually in such a fun,
Speaker 1: happy mood. Yeah. I had my period for like fucking
Speaker 1: ten days. Why, I'm not sure. God. It was very weird,
Speaker 1: was and it was in the middle of my birth
Speaker 1: control pack, like a heavy fall, no very light. It
Speaker 1: was also annoying. I had to put something in. I
Speaker 1: got to cork it up, cork that pussy up right,
Speaker 1: And then with the rapper sing about I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if they're talking about menstrual psyche. I
Speaker 1: think they're talking about dick and vaginas for a sexual
Speaker 1: pleasure probably, but you know, man, I shouldn't own a gun. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was moody and now I'm just holly goal lightly,
Speaker 1: you know, And I made up a set we Stephen.
Speaker 1: I went to see Star Trek, very good movie, and
Speaker 1: I made up the sex move called the Live Along
Speaker 1: and Prosper where you just suck guys dick and then
Speaker 1: you just afterwards you just put up the fingers and
Speaker 1: you say Livelo and prosper. Okay, all right, I think
Speaker 1: I am so funny. Did you do that with that before?
Speaker 1: Like without telling him that you were going to do that?
Speaker 1: I told him I blew it. I blew the surprise.
Speaker 1: You blew some stuff. Yeah, well he blew and then
Speaker 1: I blew it. But first, but yeah, Star Trek is uh,
Speaker 1: it creates lives. That movie. It gives me so horny
Speaker 1: because Chris Pauline is fine. Oh really yeah, I would
Speaker 1: put it in in my behind things I would never say,
Speaker 1: like Crispine, no, Star Wars, Star Trek, not any of
Speaker 1: the star things good. I'm sure it was. Yeah, how
Speaker 1: are you your You fucking moved? I moved? Are you
Speaker 1: hornior now that you're in a nice apartment? No? Now,
Speaker 1: I'm now I might my obsessive compulsive disorders like out
Speaker 1: of control because I haven't lived I've never lived in
Speaker 1: a nice apartment before, or an apartment that was like mine.
Speaker 1: That I felt like it they need to take care
Speaker 1: of I usually just to live in ship holes where
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, there's mouse poop on the floor. You
Speaker 1: can put your shoes wherever you want. Oh a mouse
Speaker 1: made a bed there, That's okay, I just scoot it over. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: I mean it was the pole past. Like week was
Speaker 1: me just literally sweeping mouse poop with my hand. I
Speaker 1: took all my broom when I took well, because I
Speaker 1: broomed it. But then like some of it didn't get
Speaker 1: in the broom. You got to do the rest of
Speaker 1: your hand. You do. Us New Yorkers were tough. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna leave mouse poop there. Yeah. And if that
Speaker 1: wouldn't I would totally do that wouldn't phase me. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I was just like at this what it was like
Speaker 1: in the beginning. It bothered me in the beginning of
Speaker 1: the mouse infestation, but at a certain point I was
Speaker 1: just used to living with it. Now. I was like, oh, hi, Charlie,
Speaker 1: what's up, Stephanie, Lisa, Nice to see how you doing.
Speaker 1: Everyone's here, right, we're all here, We're all family. Who
Speaker 1: did we lose? Oh? I forgot that glue trap was there? Sorry?
Speaker 1: Bernard that's okay because Stephanie had twenty seven kids the
Speaker 1: other day, so we'll make up for it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I don't know what to say. Uh yeah, So
Speaker 1: now now I just have obsessive compulsive disorder out the
Speaker 1: law zoo. That's okay, don't touch that. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: like one of those crazy Italian women who has just
Speaker 1: like plastic over all her furniture. It's Mike, my dad,
Speaker 1: Well he doesn't have it over the furniture, but you know,
Speaker 1: like when something comes with a plastic over you're supposed
Speaker 1: to peel the plastic off before you use it. Not
Speaker 1: my dad, even on forever. Until you throw it out,
Speaker 1: you never enjoy the crystal clear screen that you should
Speaker 1: have been entitled to. Annoying. Yeah, it's a lot. So
Speaker 1: it's just you know, me telling people to look at
Speaker 1: things not touch them. Everyone's like, are you having a
Speaker 1: house for me only? Absolutely not wanting monsters in my home? Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe five people will be allowed in this apartment. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's max. Did you have sex any yet? Uh no,
Speaker 1: actually I didn't really. Yeah, did you were over the house?
Speaker 1: Did you have a good holiday? I was away for
Speaker 1: most of the weekend, so that's why where you go.
Speaker 1: I went to my friend Erica's parents beach house in
Speaker 1: Point Pleasant, New Jersey. Was in a club called the
Speaker 1: Off Offsprey or whatever at some Jersey shore club, and
Speaker 1: of course I'm like, camerad out of my mind, and
Speaker 1: then people come up with me, are you Corine Fisher?
Speaker 1: I am, yes, I am, like, I can't believe you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm from Jersey. What are you talking about? What are
Speaker 1: you guys talking about here all the time talking about
Speaker 1: from New Jersey? Yeah? You texted me that as I
Speaker 1: was laying in bed after making s'mores around the campfire.
Speaker 1: Nature nature, Yeah, give me some. Yeah. I was just
Speaker 1: walking around a lot of plain arcade games eating candy apples.
Speaker 1: Sounds great. Just you know, I ate Tony brownies and
Speaker 1: now I haven't booked for a long time, so regular brownies, yeah,
Speaker 1: not like actual like Betty Crocker brown Their delicious, goddamn delicious.
Speaker 1: Maybe I would have eaten them all. Yeah, No, I
Speaker 1: mean I just went balls to the wall just eating pizza,
Speaker 1: just octopus chopped up wow, fox with octopus. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: was with it. I was with Italian family and I'm Italian.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, we just eat octopus. It's very tasty.
Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of people eat it. I just
Speaker 1: can't get past the fact that it's an octopus, right.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Why does that mean I'd walty?
Speaker 1: It's grosses me out for no reason. It's I hate
Speaker 1: my the walls I put up around myself surrounding food.
Speaker 1: We can't eat lamb because I think a lamb chop. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't eat a lamb either, because they think of
Speaker 1: a cute little lamb that I want to be my
Speaker 1: best friend, and then that lamb gets slaughtered and put
Speaker 1: on my plate. Horrible. But then we're totally fine with
Speaker 1: eating birds. I know, chicken, chicken, Yeah, Fish don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they like Yeah, they fish like
Speaker 1: getting murdered. What are you talking about? Being good it alive?
Speaker 1: What are you talking about there? I'm with it. Speaking
Speaker 1: of music, Um, all the music that you guys here
Speaker 1: on Guys We Fucked is created by people who listen
Speaker 1: to the podcast, and we are very we are hashtag
Speaker 1: blessed to have a very talented group of listeners. If
Speaker 1: you have a band and your band's good, or your
Speaker 1: friend as a band and they're good email Stephen my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: He picks all the music. Uh. The email addresses GWF
Speaker 1: podcast Music at gmail dot com. If and then send
Speaker 1: us some streaming links to your stuff and uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all the music featured on the podcast are fucker made.
Speaker 1: So and then if you're every curious about the song
Speaker 1: that you hear, scroll down to the description of that
Speaker 1: week's podcast and the artist and a link to their
Speaker 1: songs are there. Steph, y I come see us live
Speaker 1: do it? Um, So, we're gonna be in Toronto, Canada,
Speaker 1: guys for Toronto, just for laughs. That's Thursday, September two
Speaker 1: at nine pm. Um. That show is a live recording
Speaker 1: of Guys We've Fucked and they have individual tickets available
Speaker 1: for that particular show. Then, uh, Friday September twenty three
Speaker 1: at midnight, it's Guys We Fucked the experience, which isn't
Speaker 1: the live sharing our live show. I gotta say it's
Speaker 1: real good. It's fun. It's so much fun. Well, I
Speaker 1: mean better people better have fun. For how fucking tired
Speaker 1: I am after we do it. I'm like crippled. That's
Speaker 1: tired because of the fun. That's how we know it's
Speaker 1: fun and also maybe it's not the show to doing heels,
Speaker 1: but that will never change. Um. And then on Wednesday,
Speaker 1: September twenty eighth, The Comedian Project happens at the Standing
Speaker 1: Room myself and Katie Hanigan. Tickets are five dollars with
Speaker 1: the code sex. That's the show where we don't do
Speaker 1: jokes about dating, relationships or sex. And so the day
Speaker 1: before my birthday so you know, no pressure, and and
Speaker 1: Kuran's birthday Thursday. The wait isn't your birthday? Fuck? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a Thursday, okay. Um, Karen will be celebrating her birthday,
Speaker 1: but I will be with Wendy Starling at Zinc Bar
Speaker 1: in the West Village eighty two West third Street, UH
Speaker 1: doing our monthly show Glamour Pus at seven thirty pm.
Speaker 1: Link for tickets to that is in the description of
Speaker 1: this podcast twenty one and up Come Party, We Get Weird.
Speaker 1: It's a ranger. And then the following night, Friday, September
Speaker 1: thirty pm, It's Not Show Bitches at New York Comedy Club,
Speaker 1: the monthly show that I do with Blair Saki Super
Speaker 1: Fun ten dollar tickets when you use the code Nacho.
Speaker 1: That club is actually sixteen and up, but just like,
Speaker 1: don't don't you know obviously we're sixteen. You get drink
Speaker 1: of soda. Don't be an asshole, don't be an asshole.
Speaker 1: Don't be an asshole. And then New Orleans we are
Speaker 1: here on October twelve at a p m. For the
Speaker 1: Hell Yes Fest. Uh that's a live podcast recording of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked happening at eight o'clock. All ages and
Speaker 1: tickets start at twenty five dollars. You can go to
Speaker 1: sorry about last Night Comedy dot com slash tours to
Speaker 1: get links to ticket links for all of our shows
Speaker 1: that we're doing together. Yeah, and if you didn't hear
Speaker 1: what we said, we post all this information in the
Speaker 1: description on SoundCloud for easy access speaking easy access. See
Speaker 1: So is on demand streaming comedy anywhere, anytime. It's new,
Speaker 1: ad free streaming television service that's curated to bring you
Speaker 1: all the good ship in one place. And isn't that
Speaker 1: all we want? Is all the good ship in one place.
Speaker 1: On see So, you can watch new original series such
Speaker 1: as Harmon Quest with Dan Harmon, one of the Funnies
Speaker 1: People Alive, quotable classics like Saved by the Bell and
Speaker 1: Thirty Rock, and late night comedy shows like Late Night
Speaker 1: with Jimmy Fallon, and then you've got to stand up
Speaker 1: specials from comedians that you've seen on this podcast, like
Speaker 1: Big Jokerson and ones that maybe one day you'll hear
Speaker 1: on this podcast, like why It's Snack. If you want
Speaker 1: to come on, I would really let's interview you. Um,
Speaker 1: it's a a three per month, but if you want
Speaker 1: a thirty day free trial, just go to c SO
Speaker 1: dot com. Now that's s E E s O dot com.
Speaker 1: They'll give you thirty days for free, and after that
Speaker 1: you could play three see so sorry, see so loving? Yet?
Speaker 1: All right, let's read some fucker mail. Uh. This email
Speaker 1: is entitled is it okay to reach out to my
Speaker 1: X if I'm suicidal? So obviously I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is one for me, this is this is so.
Speaker 1: Then the first paragraph is obviously about how great we are.
Speaker 1: And I guess my situation now is a series of
Speaker 1: red flags that I've been ignoring for a while. I'm
Speaker 1: an extremely high functioning anorexic with a slew of anxiety
Speaker 1: and depression issues. Currently, the anxiety manifests in focusing on
Speaker 1: the fact that I could diet and die at any minute,
Speaker 1: I thought it's a diet, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: it seems like you are or a loved one, and
Speaker 1: the depression manifests and wondering if I would try to
Speaker 1: stop it. In my case, I've always had suicidal ideation issues,
Speaker 1: which for me means having a preoccupy and with wondering
Speaker 1: what it would be like rather than wanting to go
Speaker 1: through with it. Well, I think a lot of us
Speaker 1: think about, yeah, what it would be like. That's I've
Speaker 1: been struggling with anorexia since I was twelve, so a
Speaker 1: little over a decade my longest relationship. But the past
Speaker 1: few weeks I've been obsessed with my food, restricting it,
Speaker 1: and tonight I purged for the first time in a year.
Speaker 1: And the past few weeks my mortality obsession has gone
Speaker 1: through the roof. It's exacerbated by the fact that three
Speaker 1: people I know have died in the past month, and
Speaker 1: two were very unfortunate suicides. Watching my friends grieve those losses,
Speaker 1: I find myself obsessing about suicide all the time, to
Speaker 1: the point where I'm concerned, what is just ideation and
Speaker 1: what is interest? That, combined with my new food obsession,
Speaker 1: is no good I can recognize that I'm in a
Speaker 1: bad place, but I can't go and see my therapist
Speaker 1: for a month. I'm working twelve hour days, seven days
Speaker 1: a week for the entirety of fashion month. The one
Speaker 1: person who can calm me down when I get like this.
Speaker 1: As my ex, we ended things very amicably, broke up
Speaker 1: because he moved to Europe two months ago after dating
Speaker 1: for a year, and still talk occasionally, including him turning
Speaker 1: to me with his problems. He's always told me that
Speaker 1: he wants to be my first call with stuff like this,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if it's emotionally manipulative to do so.
Speaker 1: My friends are super supportive, but I always feel like
Speaker 1: I talk in circles and they don't know what to say,
Speaker 1: and it ends up with me feeling more shame and
Speaker 1: regret rather than peace. I remember once on your podcast,
Speaker 1: or it may have been Dan Savage, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: If it is, well, that's a compliment to us. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Maybe not to dance that people sometimes use mental health
Speaker 1: or exaggerate its severity to keep people in the relationship
Speaker 1: or at least involved. My question is is it ever
Speaker 1: okay to reach out to an X? Is it ever
Speaker 1: not emotionally manipulative to do so, am I finding or
Speaker 1: creating excuses to talk to this person I love and miss.
Speaker 1: He's a great guy and I love him a lot,
Speaker 1: So I don't want to ruin his new European life
Speaker 1: or have him think I'm using my condition to keep
Speaker 1: him in mind. He's just the person I know would
Speaker 1: be able to talk me down before things get worse.
Speaker 1: I'm not sitting on a blade or anything. I just
Speaker 1: know myself and my illness well enough to know I'm
Speaker 1: on a bad and dangerous path. Again, love the podcast.
Speaker 1: Hope this sentiment doesn't sound trade after unloading my problems.
Speaker 1: But you guys are truly the baddest of bishes. Keep
Speaker 1: doing this blah blah blah. And she included a pick
Speaker 1: and said, pps, I maybe anorexic, but I'm still a narcissist.
Speaker 1: There you go, girl. So I mean this is an
Speaker 1: interesting I I certainly am familiar with emotional manipulation because
Speaker 1: in my previous when I was going through my breakup
Speaker 1: with Frank, I mean, I would just find any reason
Speaker 1: to talk to him. Like I remember, just the other day,
Speaker 1: I was thinking about when I got my laptop, like
Speaker 1: I'm a grown woman. I know how to fucking buy
Speaker 1: a laptop by myself. But like I pretended that I
Speaker 1: didn't so that I've done too, yeah, so that he
Speaker 1: could come and help me. And that was certainly, But
Speaker 1: he did the same thing. Like I remember he wanted
Speaker 1: to send gifts to his agents and he didn't know
Speaker 1: and like the answer is always like wine, alcohol, Like
Speaker 1: the answer is always wine unless someone isn't, like is
Speaker 1: an alcoholic and has told you. In that case wine
Speaker 1: and stand they can read gift it um. But he, like,
Speaker 1: you know, message me about it. So we would just
Speaker 1: keep creating reasons to talk to each other. But I
Speaker 1: think there's a difference between creating a reason just to
Speaker 1: talk to someone and actually needing someone. I mean, if
Speaker 1: you broke up amicably, it's and you still talk, it
Speaker 1: seems totally fine to reach out. I think you're putting
Speaker 1: up all of these reasons why it wouldn't be good
Speaker 1: for you to do it that I don't really agree with. Like,
Speaker 1: you know, when people put up walls for themselves and
Speaker 1: they put up obstacles for themselves, well, well she she
Speaker 1: just think you seem like a person who has a
Speaker 1: lot of restrictions for yourself, just in your own life,
Speaker 1: Like you like to control your life and set up
Speaker 1: these boundaries that you have decided in your head that
Speaker 1: are good for you, but obviously or not because you're
Speaker 1: anorectic and that and and being being so anal about
Speaker 1: food is never good. I mean, that's like even if
Speaker 1: you don't have anorexia, there's actually times like sometimes like
Speaker 1: I'll do my Fitness Power, which is just like an
Speaker 1: app where you count your calories, but every now and
Speaker 1: then I'll get too obsessed with it, and then I
Speaker 1: stopped doing it because it's like, when you start obsessing
Speaker 1: about what you're putting in your mouth, you gotta fucking stop. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a difference between being on a diet and taking
Speaker 1: care of yourself and knowing and then like food should
Speaker 1: never feel like a your the enemy. That's a great
Speaker 1: way to put it. Yeah, Um, so you've got to
Speaker 1: be really cognizant of that. And I know, just like
Speaker 1: we're in the entertainment business, super hard place to be
Speaker 1: a woman with a body just anyway, with any type
Speaker 1: of body fashion, which you said you're in, I'm sure
Speaker 1: just even worse. Probably Also, yeah, fashion week blah, blah blah,
Speaker 1: twelve hour days. Make time for yourself and your health,
Speaker 1: and I would take a half day or a day
Speaker 1: off and see your therapist. I wouldn't go a month.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that you're mental an emotional health
Speaker 1: is way more important than that whenever fucking fashion job
Speaker 1: you're doing right now. And that might be an escape
Speaker 1: or something you really love to do, and that's great,
Speaker 1: but you have to take time for yourself. Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: don't let that be an excuse. I would talk to
Speaker 1: the b X. I don't think that's emotionally manipulu at all.
Speaker 1: And unless I'm missing something, And because you guys, he
Speaker 1: knows you really well. He knows uh, you know, the
Speaker 1: depth the soul, so to speak. So he's going to
Speaker 1: be a good person, especially if he told you beforehand,
Speaker 1: Hey call me with this kind of thing. I'm happy
Speaker 1: to talk to you. That's not you're not using each other.
Speaker 1: And I think you're afraid of using him, just maybe
Speaker 1: because you care about him a lot and you've never
Speaker 1: want to do that. But I don't think you're doing that. Man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's manipulative. I just I do think
Speaker 1: you have to be careful though, of convincing yourself that
Speaker 1: there is only one person on the entire planet who
Speaker 1: can handle this problem or who I can talk to
Speaker 1: about this. I feel like you just need, especially when
Speaker 1: you break up with someone, you need you need to
Speaker 1: find someone else, like so that it's more importantly, so
Speaker 1: that person doesn't become a crutch because he's in Europe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just dangerous like that person for whether it's because
Speaker 1: you break up because that person dies. You just never
Speaker 1: know when someone's going to leave, and so you can't
Speaker 1: you have part of this has to be like you
Speaker 1: understanding yourself better, and you understanding why you feel this way,
Speaker 1: why you're obsessed with your mortality and you're eating obviously,
Speaker 1: like you recognize that there is some kind of mental
Speaker 1: illness going on. Um. But yeah, I mean that's why
Speaker 1: the therapist is the perfect person to talk to you,
Speaker 1: because their person who's fully equipped to deal with something
Speaker 1: like that. And it's not but yeah, reach out to
Speaker 1: your Ax's fine. If it's between between you, you're gonna
Speaker 1: kill yourself and you interrupting his European vacation like enter
Speaker 1: oupt it. But there's also a way to go about
Speaker 1: it where you approach him, you message him calmly, not dramatically. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not like oh I'm gonna kill myself calling back. Just
Speaker 1: be like, hey, I know you're in Europe. Just give
Speaker 1: me a call back. Kind of important when you can
Speaker 1: something really appreciate talking to you just need Yeah, something
Speaker 1: like that's how you gotta do. It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be it's that's it's not manipulation. Just be careful of
Speaker 1: putting yourself in a space where there's only one person
Speaker 1: you feel like, can you can talk to? That's true,
Speaker 1: because then what if he moves to Uruguay and never
Speaker 1: talk to anybody again and you, you know you need
Speaker 1: you know that can't be the only person to go to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it gives the other people in your life the benefit
Speaker 1: of the doubt and and stop Like, I feel like
Speaker 1: you're making decisions about how other people feel about you
Speaker 1: before they've even expressed that to you. Like, that's how
Speaker 1: what I was trying to say. You articulated a way better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's that we agree. The subject line of this
Speaker 1: email my not so anal wife. Hey, girls, I love
Speaker 1: the show and have been a long time fucker. I
Speaker 1: wish you guys could put out even more up episodes.
Speaker 1: We're making announcement about that next week. Okay, so bear
Speaker 1: with me as I explained my situation, it may turn
Speaker 1: out to be multiple questions. My wife and I have
Speaker 1: been together for going on eight years now, and things
Speaker 1: are and always have been great. We are one of
Speaker 1: those couples that other couples tend to be very jealous of,
Speaker 1: just because we get along so great and really are
Speaker 1: truly in love. In our early days of dating and
Speaker 1: even our first year of marriage, we had an unwritten book,
Speaker 1: verbally discussed agreement that we had anal sex at least
Speaker 1: once every couple of weeks. I worked you give each other.
Speaker 1: I was like, was that in the vows, I swear
Speaker 1: to give you annal sex at least once a week?
Speaker 1: I worked her, worked her into this slowly and gently,
Speaker 1: as I had issues fitting well. Yeah, After a while,
Speaker 1: she seemed to start initiating it part of the time,
Speaker 1: and she really liked it. Then a few years ago,
Speaker 1: she just all of a sudden, practically overnight, stopped wanting it.
Speaker 1: We went about two years without it until I started
Speaker 1: explaining to her how much it means to me. It
Speaker 1: is to really my favorite sexual pleasure of all time.
Speaker 1: It's extremely hard to explain just how much I love it.
Speaker 1: In fact, I started playing with my own ass in
Speaker 1: those two years she wouldn't let me have hers. I
Speaker 1: found it extremely pleasureful to play with my own and
Speaker 1: even bought my wife a strap on to try out pegging.
Speaker 1: When she opened it, she looked at me as if
Speaker 1: I were gay. I put it out, I put myself
Speaker 1: out there and got shot down. I threw it away later,
Speaker 1: and we never used it because I couldn't bring myself
Speaker 1: to bring it up again. Now it's been a couple
Speaker 1: of years since that happened, and we've had We've had
Speaker 1: anal sex a couple of times since. However, I'd really
Speaker 1: like to get back on track with our old schedule.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm much more sexually explored of than
Speaker 1: my wife. Do you have any suggestions on bridging the gap? Also,
Speaker 1: I've never cheated and have very strong feelings against it.
Speaker 1: But would it be seriously wrong to find someone to
Speaker 1: peg me if my wife won't just just try it.
Speaker 1: It's an odd thing to think about. Please don't use
Speaker 1: my name. We won't um. This was an interesting First
Speaker 1: of all, the wife looked at you like you are
Speaker 1: gay because he got a strap on. That's so lame,
Speaker 1: it's so that's so it's almost I mean, this is
Speaker 1: a comedy term, but I think it's very appropriate. That's
Speaker 1: so hack dude, it's so hack um. There's many reasons
Speaker 1: why a person, a woman, a man, cannot want anal anymore.
Speaker 1: I know that's pretty much what happened with me and Stephen,
Speaker 1: because I was like, yeah, you know whatever, and I
Speaker 1: did like it, and then it came to a point
Speaker 1: where I the time I went to the er afterwards
Speaker 1: and I just didn't want to bother with it because
Speaker 1: it hurt, kind of left to damper on it. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I used to be more into anal too. I'm kind
Speaker 1: of like, you know what, it hurts. And and also
Speaker 1: I think when we it was a long time ago,
Speaker 1: might have been Nico because he's Dominican, but he was
Speaker 1: like white girls give it up way sooner than other
Speaker 1: girls that he had been with. And I was like,
Speaker 1: and I thought about that time where like the first
Speaker 1: time ever did anal sex was with him because I
Speaker 1: kind of was like, yeah, you want to do this,
Speaker 1: and the fact that he was so like you let
Speaker 1: me do that made me happy. Um, so that could
Speaker 1: be part of it. Also. That's really I would talk
Speaker 1: to your wife more about it though, because I don't
Speaker 1: I don't know if she looked at you like you
Speaker 1: were gay because you had a trap. That's something that
Speaker 1: I would have a more in depth conversation about because
Speaker 1: I just kinda want to strap on that's not gay,
Speaker 1: it's it's you want us to men have orgasms in
Speaker 1: their asshole. It's called a peace spot orgasm. I've seen
Speaker 1: a man I eat Stephen have one. It's the most
Speaker 1: incredible fucking thing I've ever encountered in my life. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1: I'm serious, it's a beautiful thing. But also, like, what
Speaker 1: is looking at you like you're gay? Even look like
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm confused. Yeah, I guess like just
Speaker 1: kind of like like what the fun? But I was
Speaker 1: also like I think, you know, but stuff societally is
Speaker 1: considered homosexual or lame women, and it is lame. But
Speaker 1: I don't think maybe she looked at at him the
Speaker 1: way like a guy with his girlfriend and a vibrator, like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you not need me anymore or something? Or is
Speaker 1: that something that you like better think you need to
Speaker 1: talk to her about it and be like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is just something that feels good. It has I mean,
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with being gay. It has
Speaker 1: to do with pleasure. Like, yeah, maybe you're get you're
Speaker 1: gay for pleasure in that case, so am I. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're all gay for pleasure. Um. Yeah, but that was
Speaker 1: a little like, Oh, you should talk to her more
Speaker 1: about that, because that's that's so close minded. Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1: But I mean as far as like I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't think just because your wife doesn't want to do
Speaker 1: this one thing that you want to do gives you
Speaker 1: the freedom to go out and get pegged by somebody else,
Speaker 1: Like that's not the agreement you made, like if you,
Speaker 1: but I would, I think it's worth bringing up because
Speaker 1: that indicates how strongly you want that to happen. And
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Yeah, bring
Speaker 1: it up. But at the same time, like, sometimes that's
Speaker 1: what a marriage is. There's compromise, and sometimes after you
Speaker 1: agree to get married, your partner is not gonna want
Speaker 1: to do some things you that you want to do,
Speaker 1: and you just have to deal with that. That's what
Speaker 1: you that's what you signed up for. Yeah, I would
Speaker 1: I would, I would, I would, I would try the
Speaker 1: pagan thing again with her, maybe re word it like
Speaker 1: you do what you want with my body and you
Speaker 1: can use this. But also I mean over nights, I
Speaker 1: fear as the coupon Happy Valentine's saying, like even like
Speaker 1: being gay. But some sometimes for me, what would I
Speaker 1: wouldn't like about? Someone asked me, I would feel like
Speaker 1: the masculine one. That's why what I like most about
Speaker 1: the prospect of Peggy and why I want to do
Speaker 1: with Stephen. Right, but you're a lot You're not a
Speaker 1: very submissive in bed with You're also a lot less
Speaker 1: masculine in real life. I feel like then, like I'm
Speaker 1: very like it's mistaken for a lesbian a lot like
Speaker 1: you know that it's masculine, and so that to me,
Speaker 1: I don't feel sexy if I feel masculine. So it
Speaker 1: could be something like that too, like true, I really,
Speaker 1: I mean, I wouldn't have a problem if James wanted
Speaker 1: to do but stuff for him, but I don't. It
Speaker 1: wouldn't really turn me on to put on a strap
Speaker 1: on and stick it in his butt, just because I
Speaker 1: would feel like a man. Yeah, And that's that's why
Speaker 1: I feel. I don't. I don't think there's any problems.
Speaker 1: I think, but there's other ways to get anal simulation. Well,
Speaker 1: Stephen has a sex toy called the Narrows. It's a
Speaker 1: pe spot simulator. He puts it in. You could have sex,
Speaker 1: jerk off, whatever it is. I'm telling you, maybe maybe
Speaker 1: this might get your wife into back into wanting to
Speaker 1: explore more anal stuff is seeing her husband have this
Speaker 1: type of orgasm. I don't know if the person who
Speaker 1: wrote us in has ever had that before. It is amazing,
Speaker 1: Like you know those guys like Steven is one of
Speaker 1: those guys, and I've dated a lot of those guys
Speaker 1: who just love when women come, love making women come. Now,
Speaker 1: I get it. After seeing Stephen have that peacepot orgasm,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, that is the hottest thing
Speaker 1: I've ever seen. Oh it's so hot, and it like
Speaker 1: opened me up to like appreciating nail sexuality more. And
Speaker 1: I don't know how hot it wants to put it,
Speaker 1: but um, I would try that. And you can even
Speaker 1: just masturbate in front of her with that in. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, you gotta try something for you
Speaker 1: And like I think it's like, yes, we should be open,
Speaker 1: but I do want to be Like you know, there's
Speaker 1: just some things she doesn't want to do. It you
Speaker 1: either don't want to do or just for some reason,
Speaker 1: like they don't turn you on, and even like gross,
Speaker 1: you at it a little bit. And it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that you're not like an open minded person, just sometimes
Speaker 1: you can't explain it. Yeah, you're just like this, This
Speaker 1: just doesn't do it for me, and I'm not really
Speaker 1: sure why. Well, that's exactly how I feel about anal
Speaker 1: sex with Steven that like, I just don't I'm not
Speaker 1: interested in at all. Yeah, I don't even want to
Speaker 1: finger out maybe a finger maybe, Yeah, I just don't.
Speaker 1: I don't like it anymore. I did, but I don't.
Speaker 1: And things go through phases and it's fine. And when
Speaker 1: someone stops liking something, then find something new. There's a
Speaker 1: million things to do. And what if you guys had
Speaker 1: three I don't know if you guys have ever had
Speaker 1: a three way before, but what if you proposed a
Speaker 1: three way and I compe you in that, and then
Speaker 1: someone compel you, and then your wife could be you know,
Speaker 1: off doing her own thing or with you guys. I
Speaker 1: don't know it's worth bringing up. You gotta have a
Speaker 1: discussion about it. The worst that can happen. And she's like, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you have to respect her choice. Yeah, got
Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta, I got. I have to stand
Speaker 1: on my ground on that. Yeah, I agree, um our guest. Oh,
Speaker 1: I love him. We're wanting to have him on the
Speaker 1: podcast for a long time. He's a stand up comedian.
Speaker 1: He is one of the few male comedians that I've seen,
Speaker 1: at least in the New York comedy scene that just
Speaker 1: like have the best things to say about certain women's issues.
Speaker 1: Like when other comedians always chime in on whatever is
Speaker 1: happening that week, he always has something that you're like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I wish I would have thought. I know, he's amazing.
Speaker 1: He I think he is a wonderful example of a
Speaker 1: feminist who's the dude. Yes, and he was. And he's
Speaker 1: a writer for Inside Amy Schumer and he just wrote
Speaker 1: on the Rob low Rose Comedy Central roast. Killing it
Speaker 1: in the comedy scene. Ladies and gentlemen, please give it
Speaker 1: up for Mike Lawrence Lazio one. She can Go Tell
Speaker 1: the world Change, La Can Go tell. Wanted to want
Speaker 1: so she's told to go down. Are you doing to
Speaker 1: see and having one's podcast? Thanks? I feel like out
Speaker 1: of all the comedians in New York, especially the male ones,
Speaker 1: you're like the most feminist male comedian in terms of,
Speaker 1: like I believe women when they say things and don't
Speaker 1: mock and make fun of them. What what? What do
Speaker 1: you attribute that to? Um? A couple of things. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've written for a lot of women. Um. It's funny because,
Speaker 1: like you know, I do the Roast Battle stuff, and
Speaker 1: I never felt I was a feminist until I roast
Speaker 1: Battled women. And because when you watch that show, people
Speaker 1: just call them like it's there's two types of ways
Speaker 1: women are off and rose battle. They're either horse and
Speaker 1: they fucked everyone, or their virgins and they're going to
Speaker 1: die alone. Well, I mean I proved I went to roast,
Speaker 1: and every time I'm roast, I just prepare myself that
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be called fat, ugly, and a whore when
Speaker 1: only one of those three things is true. So I
Speaker 1: just yeah, And it's and I feel like, do you
Speaker 1: do you feel the way like I feel like their
Speaker 1: jokes with men are like very are varied, whereas with
Speaker 1: women it's almost esthetic, Like it's so much a lot
Speaker 1: of that. And I think it's like when you actually
Speaker 1: just treat women like people and you write about the
Speaker 1: things that personally mother them, it's crazy that. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was like, there's so much. I was like, you're
Speaker 1: missing so much bad parts about my personality if you're
Speaker 1: just concentrating. Yeah, I rose battled women and they'll just
Speaker 1: come to me like thanks for not just calling me
Speaker 1: a slut five jokes in a row. Yeah. Doing the
Speaker 1: research and ship and I that, and I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: my mom was a comic. So it's like any ship
Speaker 1: that you guys go through, now, she went through you know,
Speaker 1: even worse probably, And there was no no, there's no
Speaker 1: Facebook groups to protect her, oh my god, you know,
Speaker 1: but people you know, and she she didn't in Florida
Speaker 1: where everyone's just awful to everyone anyways. But it was
Speaker 1: like are you ready to see some pussy and you know,
Speaker 1: like comedy shows and and just harassment and ship like that.
Speaker 1: So did she face a lot of that? Like do
Speaker 1: you remember any story she's told you about times when
Speaker 1: different things and you know, guys want to sun her, um,
Speaker 1: you know, while she was married and things like that, Um,
Speaker 1: she's super hot. Huh I could, I'll say is some
Speaker 1: very successful headliners could have been my stepdad. Thanks hot mom, Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks thanks for going with Bob. Thanks were the guy
Speaker 1: who couldn't help my career. Wait, wait to think of
Speaker 1: you first. Wait, way to leave my drunk, abusive dead
Speaker 1: and just go to someone who loved you instead of
Speaker 1: someone who could help me? Twenty five years later, selfish?
Speaker 1: Now think of the children. Did she raise you? Did
Speaker 1: she try to instill the mentality of you that like
Speaker 1: respect women, my death to my brother? Well then and
Speaker 1: just you know, hearing those stories growing up, I don't know,
Speaker 1: be that asshole, you know, and I and I see
Speaker 1: it now, you know, and I think I think it's
Speaker 1: some ways it's it's getting better, but it will never
Speaker 1: get better, you know, right, it doesn't seem like there's
Speaker 1: a line at the end of the tunnel. But then
Speaker 1: you I always think of the fact that I love
Speaker 1: being in a male dominated field because it makes you different,
Speaker 1: that you're a girl. That's one thing that makes you
Speaker 1: stand out before you get to the stage. That is
Speaker 1: just luck. I mean, you didn't do it on purpose. Well,
Speaker 1: it's good and it's bad, like the bad is like that.
Speaker 1: The industry like wants women immediately, but then they tell
Speaker 1: them they're not after looking at them a year in.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't get as much time to develop,
Speaker 1: you know. I feel like it's almost to the benefit
Speaker 1: of like women starting out to kind of hide for
Speaker 1: a little bit, not one you don't want to be
Speaker 1: discovered so soon. Yeah, well that's it. You're fucked. Three
Speaker 1: year old has been no MTV two for you, exactly.
Speaker 1: In comedy is the one career where the older you are,
Speaker 1: the more seasoned you are, the better of a comedian
Speaker 1: you are. But then no one wants to see ugly, fat,
Speaker 1: wrinkly face on TV. If you stumble that joke, maybe
Speaker 1: maybe we'll use you for Spinster Code in a couple
Speaker 1: of years. Your ovaries with her like your punch lines
Speaker 1: already have a rump pump pump exactly, and you you
Speaker 1: wrote for Inside Amy Schumer this past season. That's I
Speaker 1: that's one show I've heard. I don't know, I think
Speaker 1: I've talked. We might have talked about on the podcast before,
Speaker 1: but someone was telling me they were an Internet Comedy
Speaker 1: Central way back years ago, and they were going around
Speaker 1: asking people if they thought Amy Schumer was attractive. They're
Speaker 1: like going to the interns, just kind of showing her
Speaker 1: picture before anyone really knew who she was. Like, what
Speaker 1: the fund does that have to do with it? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah on TV because it's hilarious. No one cares what
Speaker 1: he looks like. Yeah, and I mean it's funny, like
Speaker 1: you look at like at least the lamp and Nelli
Speaker 1: and like oh yea yeah, and then like actually hurt
Speaker 1: her way, right, because that was that was kind of
Speaker 1: like part of who she was. And she's like, you know, well,
Speaker 1: fatty can make fun of anyone, but you're skinny now
Speaker 1: you obviously care about yourself, and now you're going to
Speaker 1: make fun of me. I don't think so, it's just
Speaker 1: a weird Yeah, well I love that within Sandy me Schumer,
Speaker 1: Like the sketches are very feminist oriented, just in that
Speaker 1: it's about it kind of exposes problems that women have
Speaker 1: in such a cunning way. Yeah, it's amazing, fuck you way.
Speaker 1: I love it so much. And there's a lot of
Speaker 1: men on the writing staff that makes me there's not no,
Speaker 1: it's it's mostly women. It's one of the only shows
Speaker 1: that is it's one of the best shows ever and
Speaker 1: no one else has tried to do that. It's the
Speaker 1: fucking stupidest thing in the world to me. There's uh,
Speaker 1: there's three male writers on three yeah, and uh and
Speaker 1: I was I was one of them, so I was
Speaker 1: added season four. So I think there and then the
Speaker 1: EP kind of you know, Dan like overlooks things and
Speaker 1: add some things. So if you want to count four
Speaker 1: you can. Um. But then you know there's like like
Speaker 1: six or seven amazing women and that's seven like the
Speaker 1: heads a woman, yeah, the head writer. You know, Amy's sister,
Speaker 1: this woman, Tammy Sagar's in that movie Don't think twice.
Speaker 1: She's brilliant, brilliant, unbelievable, Christine Nangle, um, Claudio Doherty. Like
Speaker 1: so they Powerhouse, Oh it's the best. So there must
Speaker 1: be like a lot of like tat fighting, you know.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, they all like rip each other's era, a
Speaker 1: lot of screaming over boys. Here's the thing, it's an
Speaker 1: oasis of like everyone who was like the only woman
Speaker 1: that some of their other jobs and like we're never
Speaker 1: gonna create a shitty environment. We're gonna have the best.
Speaker 1: It was like it was the best job ever. Um,
Speaker 1: and I mean it was great writing with them, Like
Speaker 1: I love being in places where I'm not the best
Speaker 1: where I I mean, that was definitely one of them.
Speaker 1: I mean because it's insane and yeah, the way that
Speaker 1: they treat each other, it's it's perfect. And the main
Speaker 1: thing about that show that makes it the best is
Speaker 1: that anytime you pitched a sketch, even if it was
Speaker 1: really funny, Amy would always say, but what are you
Speaker 1: actually trying to say? What's the point of this? And
Speaker 1: you had to you kind of had to have that ready,
Speaker 1: you know, show when you watch the show, because they
Speaker 1: all have a very poignant message. And that's the thing,
Speaker 1: like when you look at like the rise of her
Speaker 1: success in everything, because I think that's I mean, maybe
Speaker 1: it's like Dane Cooke ten years ago, Kevin Hart kind
Speaker 1: of and her, Yeah she's on the cover of her
Speaker 1: feels bigger because it's gonna last, right. Well, it's also
Speaker 1: I think Dane Cook was just Dane Cook, whereas Amy
Speaker 1: Schumer is like kind of the leader of this women
Speaker 1: in comedy thing that's happening. Yeah, well it's the thing
Speaker 1: of like you know, to quote Spiderman, with great power
Speaker 1: comes great responsibility, and with more success that she's got
Speaker 1: and she's used that to say things, and she's used
Speaker 1: that for platforms and like that. A lot of people
Speaker 1: when they get famous, they just buy houses and you know,
Speaker 1: porsches and stuff. And she's like, I'm going to talk
Speaker 1: about how guns are awful and how women are mistreated.
Speaker 1: That's so nice and I love it. She because it
Speaker 1: is important, you know. I guess for me, I don't
Speaker 1: realize it until I see it. How important it is
Speaker 1: to have my young, brash female stand up comedian on
Speaker 1: the cover of Glamour, on the cover Bogue. It means
Speaker 1: the first one that was incredible. It just makes me
Speaker 1: feel this like indescribable joy in my heart, of like
Speaker 1: explosions of happiness. Because you do need to see it
Speaker 1: to to make it. The world go see this is
Speaker 1: a thing that happens, and it's happening, and this is
Speaker 1: the person you see in the limelight. There's a lot
Speaker 1: more of us. Every time you guys go on stage,
Speaker 1: it's not you know, and if it doesn't go well,
Speaker 1: women aren't funny like that. Every single woman carry the
Speaker 1: weight of our entire gender every time we sunk up.
Speaker 1: It's so annoying. Yeah, I was at a show yesterday
Speaker 1: with like you know, it's a club show, and there
Speaker 1: was like maybe filled, I'm headlining bombing just for fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes straight, and I was just like, Wow, everyone's going
Speaker 1: to leave now because I'm the only woman on this
Speaker 1: lineup and they're gonna be like women aren't funny if
Speaker 1: I bother like this fat hipster nerd. But that galfonagus
Speaker 1: is still great? Why aren't you that galagh? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: that pressure that yeah, that that's put on you that
Speaker 1: you don't get to choose, which sucks. Do you ever get?
Speaker 1: I feel like it's really popular and I'm guilty of
Speaker 1: doing it myself and I kind of want to try
Speaker 1: and stop and building awareness around it. But just shipping
Speaker 1: on straight white men just like it's like so hack
Speaker 1: almost now to be like a straight white guy, what
Speaker 1: do you know? You know, some things like you are
Speaker 1: an example of a straight white man that is a wonderful,
Speaker 1: good person who like has morals and the people in
Speaker 1: every group yeah yeah, but the worst of us is
Speaker 1: the worst, you know it is, I mean there is
Speaker 1: that like I mean, God like, as a as a
Speaker 1: straight white man, there are moments like I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: like tell us about your struggle. I mean those like
Speaker 1: the Bernie dudes at the d n C where you're like,
Speaker 1: you are fucking ruining this for everybody. For the worst
Speaker 1: you lost, go home? Yeah, sorry, you're just shut up, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's the Dave Matthews band concert. Fetch fetch would be
Speaker 1: at that concert problem, I know, and even their their
Speaker 1: music is great, but I know I hate that, right, guys, No,
Speaker 1: so funny, so we I'm surprised to even hear you
Speaker 1: say that, but overjoyed um to hear you make fun
Speaker 1: of Bernie Sanders supporters. But were you were you originally
Speaker 1: a Bernie guy? Yeah? I figure it, okay. I you know,
Speaker 1: I'm a comic book fan. I'm a of fictional heroes.
Speaker 1: The real world happens, no, I mean, and I do
Speaker 1: jokes on stage, you know how we have to settle
Speaker 1: for Hillary and you know that it's uh, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: vote for Hillary with the same excitement I get when
Speaker 1: I tell my stepdad I love them, you know. So
Speaker 1: there is there is that, Like, but that's also like
Speaker 1: there is that like let's see her as the person
Speaker 1: she is and like, yeah, it is kind of settling.
Speaker 1: But but the Bernie thing. It's like, yeah, I'm one
Speaker 1: of them. In the primary, he didn't win, But the
Speaker 1: other side is so much more terrifying that it's like
Speaker 1: it is that thing, like you just gotta fucking grow
Speaker 1: up and make sure this doesn't happen. Yeah, well, I
Speaker 1: think if you think people are just confused and they're
Speaker 1: just like these are two evil people, like noud, what
Speaker 1: are you talking about? I'm like, one is very fully
Speaker 1: equipped to be president and the other one is just
Speaker 1: a rich do what I who Like I think, you know,
Speaker 1: like this was on his bucket list. This is just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: he can do. He's ran before, but no one paid
Speaker 1: attention to him years ago. It was like bathe and
Speaker 1: gold and then run for presidents. I'll do that. And
Speaker 1: that's the you know, that's the Internet. Like the Internet
Speaker 1: gives everyone a voice, and it's worked in a lot
Speaker 1: of ways. It's allowed you know, women and minorities to
Speaker 1: fucking you know, call out rapists and like defend themselves
Speaker 1: and actually get shipped done um in ways that they
Speaker 1: couldn't even have before. But it's also allowed the Trump
Speaker 1: ass is on the other side to feel like they matter,
Speaker 1: and it's allowed people who want to just shoot on
Speaker 1: Leslie Jones to feel like, you know, but just the
Speaker 1: world like it. You know, you get you get the
Speaker 1: best and worst of pure freedom of speech. But it's
Speaker 1: so clear to me, I guess, probably as a result
Speaker 1: of achieving minor Internet popularity, that when someone ships on
Speaker 1: you that hard, it's just because they hate themselves. Like
Speaker 1: that's I can't get past that, Like that's why I
Speaker 1: don't get mad. It's just more annoyed, Like, come on, dude,
Speaker 1: we all I see what you're doing. It's so obvious.
Speaker 1: Well that's the funny thing with like feminism and all that.
Speaker 1: Like the thing that broke my nerved them this year
Speaker 1: was the Ghostbusters movie. Right. Oh, no, I didn't know
Speaker 1: there was a screen that we can see. Yeah, how
Speaker 1: do I turn that down forever? Whatever? I didn't know
Speaker 1: there was a screen either. Okay, that's cool. Well we'll
Speaker 1: just edit this out the screen from like that's creepy.
Speaker 1: Go on, you can see Montel Jordan's when he was successful. No. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: but the Ghostbusters movie broke my nerdi. I had a
Speaker 1: nerd podcast that I got rid of, like and I
Speaker 1: still feel like a proud nerd, but it was just like, man,
Speaker 1: you fucking people like ruined this, Like yeah, just the
Speaker 1: we're the worst things that you've read or have overheard
Speaker 1: about the Ghostbusters casting. I mean, like I said, I'm
Speaker 1: on you know, I'm on Twitter with the tag writer
Speaker 1: for inside Amy Schumer, so I get ship really song,
Speaker 1: who gives you for that? You know? Like when I
Speaker 1: defend like I defended the you know, female Ghostbusters and
Speaker 1: you know what an asshole and of course you wrote
Speaker 1: for Schumer, remember, but it's and it's like the fucking
Speaker 1: m r A garbage but it's those But but the
Speaker 1: thing that broke me about it was just one It's
Speaker 1: the most hated video ever. The most dislike video on
Speaker 1: YouTube ever is that trailer out of it the most
Speaker 1: is the Ghostbusters trailing just the women fighting ghosts. And
Speaker 1: you know what I saw an opening night. I thought
Speaker 1: it was really fun. I did. The one problem I
Speaker 1: had with it was I thought they spent too much
Speaker 1: money on it. You didn't need the finale, um, and
Speaker 1: that's why it's not going to make its money back.
Speaker 1: But I thought, like the character moments were great. Um,
Speaker 1: the Ghostbusters too is a terrible movie. Oh yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's like you're fighting for this thing that you even
Speaker 1: know isn't the most perfect thing in the world. I
Speaker 1: know it was a bummer because after I saw it,
Speaker 1: I liked it. It wasn't as amazing as I had
Speaker 1: in my head. But god damn it, I did the
Speaker 1: same thing as you to correct. Everyone's gonna blame it
Speaker 1: all the women. But also, I mean, this is I
Speaker 1: know this is gonna offend you, Mike, but like, I
Speaker 1: don't think the world not God, no, it's fun not
Speaker 1: like I mean, it was my ex boyfriend's favorite movie,
Speaker 1: and I was like, really, have you seen like Casa
Speaker 1: Blanco Blanco? Like is that got along with Blanco from
Speaker 1: Street Writer that I was like, what, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's not The Wizard of Its like, there's better movies.
Speaker 1: So that's the thing. It's not We've seen the films
Speaker 1: of gene Water. It's not. It's not the greatest thing ever.
Speaker 1: It's like it's a comedy, but it's there's not that
Speaker 1: I'm talking the original one. There's not that many funny
Speaker 1: moments in it. But it's that thing of you like
Speaker 1: it because it's yours. Now you're afraid that your thing.
Speaker 1: It's it literally is it's the gun issue. You're afraid
Speaker 1: that people are going to take your thing and now
Speaker 1: it's not yours anymore. And I mean, you look at
Speaker 1: Schumer and the amount of hate that she's gotten in
Speaker 1: the last year, and there's a direct correlation between that
Speaker 1: and her talking about the guns, and you know, guns
Speaker 1: as dicks and all of that. People didn't like entertainers,
Speaker 1: especially women, talking about anything other than what what it is.
Speaker 1: We think that this is supposed to be do ring.
Speaker 1: I think the gun thing hits a certain type of
Speaker 1: asshole in a way that other things don't. You think
Speaker 1: people are very sensitive about their guns, even I've posted
Speaker 1: things on Instagram and like, listeners of this podcast have
Speaker 1: said some disturbing things. I'm like, it is the only
Speaker 1: person who loves you your gun. I don't get what
Speaker 1: the whole but hurt this is about. I just I've
Speaker 1: just never heard an argument from somebody about why they
Speaker 1: should have a gun and then thought, man, that person
Speaker 1: should have a gun, just something one. You don't think
Speaker 1: anyone needs a gun until you don't think that person,
Speaker 1: especially that person. I'm like, I trust myself with a gun,
Speaker 1: but I don't want a gun. But then and when
Speaker 1: people start screaming and I calling me names. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're exactly the person who should have a gun, and
Speaker 1: we had a gun. I beat that right now, we
Speaker 1: should be able to record our gun conversations with gun
Speaker 1: advocates and then use those to prevent them from getting
Speaker 1: background checks. That should be the background check is what
Speaker 1: are your last three pro gun Facebook Look? I get
Speaker 1: forty nine gay people were murdered in Orlando, but you
Speaker 1: don't understand how dangerous it is to live in Duluth.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm a perfect example of someone who probably
Speaker 1: could own a gun and should not. I have a
Speaker 1: horrible temper, and I fucking I I would never I've
Speaker 1: always thought, after like an outburst that I've had, like
Speaker 1: I don't have many of them. I'm my god damn
Speaker 1: good thing. And all the gun. Not that I've ever
Speaker 1: wanted to shoot somebody. I just didn't even know. I
Speaker 1: don't need that in my life. It's fine. I grew
Speaker 1: up joint custody. So when we guys at my mom's,
Speaker 1: when when we guys at my dad's, Yeah, my dad
Speaker 1: didn't have a gun, um and my mom's my sid
Speaker 1: dad did. And it was this weird like I always
Speaker 1: felt safer at the place without the gun, Like there's
Speaker 1: much less of a chance there's a possibility of getting
Speaker 1: shot in the place with a gun, right, no question
Speaker 1: for you. You we get a lot of emails, so
Speaker 1: you're you're a nerd. You're like an actual nerd. You're
Speaker 1: not somebody that's like on such a nerd. No, like
Speaker 1: your fucking dig comic books. Batman wearing a Batman. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm on brand Mike Lawrence Fashion. The only non character
Speaker 1: shirts I have are the ones I have to buy
Speaker 1: for TV. Yeah, that's legit. What what makes you love
Speaker 1: that world so much? And have you ever has it
Speaker 1: ever come in between you and somebody wanted to date? Um?
Speaker 1: What I love about it? I mean it is the escapism.
Speaker 1: You know, I was picked on. There is that. Um.
Speaker 1: Some of my first jerks were two superheroes. Wait, like
Speaker 1: superheroes to UM. I used to read there's a comic
Speaker 1: comic magazine about comic books called Wizard And you know,
Speaker 1: this was the nineties when every single super hero female
Speaker 1: was like top heavy. Dude, they're all titties out. It's
Speaker 1: called the pinball Machines. The women in them, all their
Speaker 1: tits are out so hard it's almost impressive. So even
Speaker 1: like even like like Mrs like the Invisible Woman had
Speaker 1: like in the early nineties, her costume was just like
Speaker 1: the four was like a boob window, right, I remember
Speaker 1: that you saw the cleavage. They were always very muscular
Speaker 1: boobs that yeah. Oh yeah, so you jacked it to
Speaker 1: cartoon boobs. Yeah, which blade, that's a good one, fair child.
Speaker 1: She was a redhead. We're like the costume was like
Speaker 1: the top part of her body was like all covered
Speaker 1: like her boobs and everything, but then it was just
Speaker 1: like legs like which never never makes sense the the
Speaker 1: woman in the bikini fighting crime, right, because it doesn't
Speaker 1: get snagged on and stuff. I mean maybe it's easier
Speaker 1: so she's like a swimmer, like it just makes her faster.
Speaker 1: But when you're like she's doing it for me, she's
Speaker 1: impractical for me. Thank you, Cheetah. And wonder Woman. Wonder
Speaker 1: Woman more fun than jerking it porn? Do you know
Speaker 1: you know who invented wonder Woman? Is this guy? William?
Speaker 1: Of course it is. Yeah. I was like, it's definitely
Speaker 1: a guy. It's one of the most fascinating things. And
Speaker 1: there's some kink in it. Um William Master's molten. I
Speaker 1: think his name is or Marston or something. Um. He
Speaker 1: is the inventor of the polygraph test, and he wanted
Speaker 1: an inspiration for young women. And he also he was
Speaker 1: married to one woman, but then I was also dating
Speaker 1: another woman that lived in their house and all that,
Speaker 1: and everyone was cool with it. I think. So yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: good set up and early wonder Woman. Her weakness was bondage.
Speaker 1: That's how you could defeat her, was just wrapping her
Speaker 1: in robes and chains and stuff, you know, in a seal.
Speaker 1: Her power is the last of truth. You know, she
Speaker 1: puts men and she ties men up and then I
Speaker 1: have to be honest with her. Well that's so fun.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and this is all in the forties. But
Speaker 1: it was like super fucking kinky. That is kinky. Wow. Okay.
Speaker 1: I hope her movie is good. God damnit. Um, but um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, so yeah, I I jerked superheroes. I I
Speaker 1: like I like the escapism of it. You know, when
Speaker 1: you yeah, when you live in Florida, you want to
Speaker 1: wish your anywhere else you want to. Yeah, did you
Speaker 1: date a lot of nerdy girls or did girls treat
Speaker 1: you a certain way? In middle school in high school
Speaker 1: because of this nerd? Where did they appreciate it and
Speaker 1: like it? And yeah, I mean the first real relationship
Speaker 1: I was in, Like I had like awkward kisses and
Speaker 1: stuff when I was in middle school. But the first
Speaker 1: real relationship I was in, you know, lasted six years,
Speaker 1: was this girl Christine. And we never had sex, not
Speaker 1: six years together and never had sex from one age
Speaker 1: to what age? Um, seventeen too, you know about three? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so were you were virgin beyond twenty three? Um? I
Speaker 1: lost my virginia about a month later. Okay, you're like,
Speaker 1: Christine got to go by Christine, I gotta stick at something.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was a you know what, I think it
Speaker 1: was a couple of months because like I remember a
Speaker 1: month after I talked to her, and she, you know,
Speaker 1: because her whole thing when we started dating, she was like, UM,
Speaker 1: I don't like the idea of someone inside me. And
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, sure, can I still hang out
Speaker 1: with you? Yeah? You know, so that it's just purely that.
Speaker 1: It wasn't religion, It wasn't anything else other than I
Speaker 1: don't want a person inside me. I mean I kind
Speaker 1: of like don't like the idea either. I get it.
Speaker 1: I get Christine. When I first learned that sex involved insertion,
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa wait, I totally I totally understand that.
Speaker 1: Me saying, you know, I was with the girls six
Speaker 1: years and have sex. She immediately becomes the protagonist in
Speaker 1: that story. Get well so and you were totally cool
Speaker 1: with it? Did you guys do other things like neutral masturbation? Well,
Speaker 1: it took like a long time, Like it took a
Speaker 1: year for the touch the first boob and then wow,
Speaker 1: here to touch your boost? Are you just like friends
Speaker 1: who kissed before that? I mean we were dating, you know,
Speaker 1: we sent like the thing was like I usually would
Speaker 1: see her like once a week. We talked on the
Speaker 1: phone all the time, which I feel like phone phone
Speaker 1: conversation is a dead art form. Oh. I used to
Speaker 1: be on the for like hours when I was last
Speaker 1: generation that will know what it's like Everyone's yeah, I
Speaker 1: would because we didn't have a churt list. I ran
Speaker 1: it all the way up to my attic room and
Speaker 1: I was like, no one can hear me? Yeah, just
Speaker 1: my secret. Five hours on the phone with James m
Speaker 1: That's what I was. My my first, my first you
Speaker 1: know relationships, even before Christine were like on a O.
Speaker 1: Well yes, hell yeah was your screen name poetic? That's
Speaker 1: so romantic and then poetic eighteen? When poetic? At any age?
Speaker 1: Are you writing poems? Or I did slam poetry for years?
Speaker 1: You remember any of your faith? Yeah? There was one
Speaker 1: called Confessions of a Bleeding Penis, and I just remember
Speaker 1: your only line was what things make you think? To
Speaker 1: think the things that you think? It was? That is?
Speaker 1: That is beautiful? Mike, Well, I did you know? And
Speaker 1: I met Christine at like a slam poetry reading. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys have my favorite relationship. This is great. No, wait,
Speaker 1: now I met her friend at one and then I
Speaker 1: ran into her friend who was with Christine at a Specs.
Speaker 1: So none of the exactly none of this story makes
Speaker 1: sense to young listeners. Specs was the record store? Records
Speaker 1: used to be these things you listen to music on?
Speaker 1: Music was this thing that entertained people? Oh my gosh, wow,
Speaker 1: So did you guys? Do there her point in relationship
Speaker 1: with Christine you grow frustrated over not having intercourse. I'm
Speaker 1: just understanding, like the kids listening are like, wait, before
Speaker 1: Drake there was music, so yeah, I know I never
Speaker 1: heard Yeah, Um, what there's your question. Did you ever
Speaker 1: grow frustrated that Christine didn't want to have sex? You
Speaker 1: know what, I only because of the pressure of everyone else,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, yeah, you're tapping that you that you know,
Speaker 1: my my, my brother is like disgusting still is he
Speaker 1: will he will always make more money than me, but
Speaker 1: will never be happy. And it's the one thing I'll
Speaker 1: always happen. Wow. Wow keep seated family competition. I love it.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys just outwardly don't like each other
Speaker 1: and no fronts to each other's face on the on
Speaker 1: the Rose Champs, which he's gross to chicks. Is he
Speaker 1: grows to girls and she's always like, well, his thing
Speaker 1: is like he's never fully happy, like you know, they're
Speaker 1: always is like twenty two. But he also has a kid,
Speaker 1: you know, outside of the kids he's fucking I was like,
Speaker 1: is his kid two? No? Um, And it's like it's
Speaker 1: just tough for him to settle down any way. He's
Speaker 1: a different kind of guy. Well, I mean you seem
Speaker 1: kind of like I get the vibe that you're like
Speaker 1: a relationship guy. Is that yeah? I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: because I was like, everyone doesn't have to settle down
Speaker 1: it's not for everyone. I mean, for some people it
Speaker 1: feels like they're in a room and they can't breathe.
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, I got into stand up, of course.
Speaker 1: I just want someone to say I love you over
Speaker 1: and over again. Give me all your love and affection
Speaker 1: please strangers. So so, a couple of months after you dated,
Speaker 1: what was the farthest you and Christine got like did you?
Speaker 1: We trudged once, We tried once, and she was like,
Speaker 1: you know, as the condom and everything. I remember she
Speaker 1: bought a twelve pack of condoms. I was so nervous
Speaker 1: to buy the condoms. Why were yours the condoms? I
Speaker 1: mean one sex because of the way that our relationship was,
Speaker 1: and sex was this like weird taboo thing like that
Speaker 1: part of it was like, you know, ikey to me.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm bringing Nikki back and Yucky's coming with it.
Speaker 1: So so that part of it was was odd to
Speaker 1: me and um, and I didn't like. I genuinely didn't
Speaker 1: want the cashier to have to think of me having sex. Wow,
Speaker 1: you know what. That's why I was afraid of buying
Speaker 1: I was afraid of buying condoms when I was younger,
Speaker 1: and tampons and pads. Everyone here is going to know
Speaker 1: that I have my peer disgusting ly bleeding. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: the thing. You you have to if you're going to
Speaker 1: use stuff, check out for condoms and pads and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. It can't be your first time doing it,
Speaker 1: because you don't want to be that needs the guy
Speaker 1: to help me. And then you got to sit there
Speaker 1: with your period ship and then everyone for everyone to say.
Speaker 1: The joke is that you everyone, when you're buying something
Speaker 1: like that, you always like to buy a bunch of
Speaker 1: other things, like coy items like first bar paper tap.
Speaker 1: Proudly purchased an enema at the CBS Pharmacy cash Wrap
Speaker 1: yesterday and I was like, I don't care. I've purchased
Speaker 1: it and I got digestive problems. Guys, I've never had
Speaker 1: problems buying like tampons for my wife or anything like that.
Speaker 1: You buy tampons for your wife. I was like, I've
Speaker 1: never asked anyone to buy me sanitary products. It's so funny.
Speaker 1: I thought that only happened in TV shows. Oh no,
Speaker 1: I mean what if, like kind you're on your way
Speaker 1: home stuff and the supermarket anyway, like make sure they're
Speaker 1: pearl no one likes carboard applicators. That's what I was.
Speaker 1: Oh I I literally like, oh I I take a
Speaker 1: picture like this is what you want? Want to be
Speaker 1: the guy who's got to get a refund. Huh, just
Speaker 1: eat that eight dollars that doesn't need to go back
Speaker 1: to it and send it to the person. I don't
Speaker 1: have enough san alest women don't have a lot of sanity. Guys. Um,
Speaker 1: So what was it like losing your virginity after a
Speaker 1: six years sex relationship. I mean it's funny, like I
Speaker 1: I say, like I I just threw it away, like
Speaker 1: I didn't care, right, you know, it's a bigger deal
Speaker 1: than people or it's not as big of a deal
Speaker 1: as people make it. Yeah, Like you know, me and Christine,
Speaker 1: and it was just it was only our last our
Speaker 1: last day together was oh, I'm not dramatic, mother, you're
Speaker 1: surprised that the guy who loves comic books is over
Speaker 1: dramatic day together previously sexless. So I remember, you know,
Speaker 1: we were like, let's try to spice up the relationships
Speaker 1: on your last day. We didn't know was our last day,
Speaker 1: you know, And and and she brought like erotic dice
Speaker 1: erotic dice. Yeah, I ate her out through her jeans.
Speaker 1: That was the thing, like you he g you ate
Speaker 1: her out through her genes? That is hard? How the
Speaker 1: how and whose decision was it to leave the jeans on?
Speaker 1: Did you never? Don't you want to know what? Uncle Cracker?
Speaker 1: So I'm playing as I did this. That's the only
Speaker 1: uncle never's more than one. I'll eat you out your jeans.
Speaker 1: I did she come? Because now I'm I would be
Speaker 1: surprised that she came through her teens And also Stripper
Speaker 1: did that once to me, and I almost came because
Speaker 1: it was very thrilling. But you know, you're not usually
Speaker 1: supposed to get that close with him. That's why I
Speaker 1: was thrilled. Yeah, she didn't come, she left. No, it
Speaker 1: was just like this, what are we doing? I mean
Speaker 1: because that was like she made the vagina this like
Speaker 1: magical thing that it should have never had to have
Speaker 1: been because I wasn't allowed to see it. I could
Speaker 1: touch it. It is magical, but it's it shouldn't be
Speaker 1: so much serious. When you put your pussy on a
Speaker 1: pedestal like that, you can't enjoy it as much. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm not one to like quote stand bits,
Speaker 1: but if I do, I will say them. And I
Speaker 1: do mention this on stage because there's no better way
Speaker 1: to explain it. Her vagina literally did become like Wilson
Speaker 1: from Home Improvement. I never saw the mouth, no, just
Speaker 1: the tip of the hat. And that you never thought advice.
Speaker 1: Gave her not a hard time for it, but you
Speaker 1: never were like, dude, well that's nice. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you would, I wouldn't have been like,
Speaker 1: it's her body, because I would have been frustrated my
Speaker 1: sexual partner wasn't this whole time I was working at McDonald's.
Speaker 1: Oh that well, that he was kidding, but also but
Speaker 1: also the fact that I was just surrounded by so
Speaker 1: much white trash misogyny. You know, I lived in a
Speaker 1: trailer park. Yeah, I went to school and like high school,
Speaker 1: in college in South Florida, I worked at a fucking
Speaker 1: po dunc McDonald's. So everything was you're gonna fuck dead
Speaker 1: and you know, just this and it turned me off
Speaker 1: and I never wanted to be that person, you know,
Speaker 1: And and there are even moments within it like like
Speaker 1: I you know, maybe I was gay. I I dated
Speaker 1: a guy for three weeks, did wow, Well, It makes
Speaker 1: sense because if you're surrounded by this hyper masculine grossness
Speaker 1: of like these men that are saying like you're gonna
Speaker 1: fuck it, they don't get sex. They probably have not
Speaker 1: an enjoyable sex once in their lives. And this was
Speaker 1: towards the ends of me with Christine. I was like,
Speaker 1: maybe I'll try this, like I don't know what I am,
Speaker 1: you know, and how did that go? The last three
Speaker 1: weeks it was I hold hands hand jobs? Hell yeah,
Speaker 1: it wasn't comforting because it's like, oh, you got to
Speaker 1: say parts, you get it. That's as far as it
Speaker 1: want um, not like he gave me the worst hand
Speaker 1: job ever. And I broke up with him the next morning.
Speaker 1: And this because I realized, like, you know what, maybe
Speaker 1: I just don't enjoy this. But I felt really bad
Speaker 1: because I broke up with him the day after Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: And it was because no one knew like he he
Speaker 1: wasn't out. It was just like this is my friend Mike.
Speaker 1: They made us sit at the kids table, so I
Speaker 1: think they knew you. So you brought him to Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1: He brought me with only three weeks in a relationship,
Speaker 1: and we we'd only see each other like four times,
Speaker 1: and things like I've never driven a car, so you know,
Speaker 1: dating there it's like you see the person not all
Speaker 1: the time, it's like every single I didn't, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't start like dating someone where I saw them
Speaker 1: every day until like you know, New York. Wait, have
Speaker 1: you still never driven a car? Do you have any
Speaker 1: interest in it? Yeah? I'm I. I'm reapplying for my
Speaker 1: permanent stuff. It's I have a disability in my hands
Speaker 1: motorscipe deficiency. So I can't write really well. I can't
Speaker 1: throw it. There's no way to make it funny. I
Speaker 1: just have to live with it. So, um, I can't
Speaker 1: throw really well. I mean it hurts. It's like really
Speaker 1: now is that word that? Well? What I was going
Speaker 1: with like reach out, like, I don't know we first,
Speaker 1: you don't want to know if recharts to strength when
Speaker 1: you say that, because you've got a disability and I
Speaker 1: can't say that. No, no, no, you're not and you're
Speaker 1: not at all. I was just I was rereading some
Speaker 1: of our our old emails and our inbox, and I
Speaker 1: there was I just I recently stumbled across one that
Speaker 1: was talked about us, saying that we're retarded and being
Speaker 1: upset because this woman had a mentally challenge son, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I wasn't thinking of your son when
Speaker 1: I said it, So that's just on my brain. But
Speaker 1: that's always what it is. That's about that. It's not
Speaker 1: about you. It's just a fucking comic exactly. Yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: step back. That was I remember I did a joke
Speaker 1: on last comic Standing where it was where I talked
Speaker 1: about Scar from the Lion King, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, naming your kids Scar when he has a
Speaker 1: scar on his face. It's like, these are my two
Speaker 1: when the other one's name MoU fassa, these are my
Speaker 1: two sons, Timothy and cleft Palate. I got like pictures
Speaker 1: like not just letters from women with but like this
Speaker 1: is my child. Yeah, it's just like we're not talking
Speaker 1: about that. We're gonna saying not say not saying that
Speaker 1: someone cleft Palate is disgusting. You're saying that's a funked
Speaker 1: up name to give someone, like, listen to the fucking
Speaker 1: That's why I get infuriating when people write in and
Speaker 1: they're saying they're they're mad at that, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're then you're for that example you're insinuating that I
Speaker 1: think that people with a cleft palate are discussing. That's
Speaker 1: clearly not what I think. That's that's their insecure that's
Speaker 1: you're saying. I remember on my wedding night. Um, we
Speaker 1: got married in my mom's backyard in the Poconos. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Mike's married everyone. Yeah, sorry, not available and um and
Speaker 1: I remember it was like eight thirty and you know,
Speaker 1: my mom lives like in this um like community like
Speaker 1: getting community kind of thing and um, and there was
Speaker 1: like a community Facebook board and they were like this.
Speaker 1: One woman was like complaining about the music. But she
Speaker 1: was like, my son has auditory problems and he's freaking
Speaker 1: out and this needs to stop. And I just wanted
Speaker 1: to be like Christine never loved me. I finally someone
Speaker 1: I went six years without sex. Yeah, it's just like
Speaker 1: take your son down to the block for a couple
Speaker 1: of minutes, like let us wedding, Dear God, best wedding
Speaker 1: tip by the way. Yeah, beer and wine. No, I
Speaker 1: don't know, Like you know, I don't drink at all.
Speaker 1: Uh and I don't smoke at all. Is there a
Speaker 1: reason for that? Um? I want to succeed. I just
Speaker 1: didn't know if you like, you went too far and
Speaker 1: then you stop. My my dad was an alcoholic, So
Speaker 1: Stephen doesn't drink or smoke either, And everyone's like no,
Speaker 1: I'm like no, he just saw people ruin their lives. Attribute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like of my success in comedy to sober, being sober
Speaker 1: not drinking. Yes, I don't want to ever say sober, right,
Speaker 1: because you were never drunk. I didn't. That's true sober
Speaker 1: friends who are like fucking, I'm sorry. I didn't have
Speaker 1: to lose things to realize that booze is bad. Um,
Speaker 1: but no, Yeah, beer and wine you save thousands of dollars. Really,
Speaker 1: and here's the best part of it. They leave and
Speaker 1: they're not there too long, right because not open bar. Well. Also,
Speaker 1: like blessed, people will get ship faced on beer and wine.
Speaker 1: It's a lot harder. They pay for themselves to do
Speaker 1: it afterwards. Okay, So how long have you been living
Speaker 1: in New York? Almost ten years in January? Okay? And
Speaker 1: how long have you been with your wife? Totally? How
Speaker 1: long we'll go to six years? Six years? So there
Speaker 1: were there was four years where you were freaking cute. Um,
Speaker 1: what was dating? Like New York City? Moving from Florida
Speaker 1: Florida life to New York City life. Did you attempt
Speaker 1: to dat or with only one U sex experience under
Speaker 1: my belt? You only had sex with that one person
Speaker 1: after Christine at that point, and that was that was
Speaker 1: before I left Florida, like shortly before. Um No, New
Speaker 1: York was tough. I mean, I you know, like I said,
Speaker 1: I never drank, but my my rock bottom was different.
Speaker 1: I was I was a mooch. I was really poor,
Speaker 1: and I was the guy that would go to the
Speaker 1: diner hoping someone would buy me something there. Yeah, oh
Speaker 1: it's the worst. And I lived in a friend's basement
Speaker 1: like like a rank finished. No, No, it was separate.
Speaker 1: It was like a metal grade like staircase, cobwebs, like
Speaker 1: the whole you know, like Frankenstein basement. And um it
Speaker 1: was you know, and I met I met my wife
Speaker 1: in in that basement time. So you brought her back
Speaker 1: to the basement and she was like, I'm not doing this.
Speaker 1: He's like, I love you, but not this. But the
Speaker 1: way that I treated dating was it was very unhealthy.
Speaker 1: Um because my thing was you know, comedy and and
Speaker 1: and the rest of my life were so intertwined because
Speaker 1: I was obsessed. You know. I gave myself an ultimatum.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm giving myself seven years and if
Speaker 1: i haven't made five thousand dollars or been on TV,
Speaker 1: I'm quitting and that's it. And I moved here. Um
Speaker 1: no six years. Yeah, I moved you when I was
Speaker 1: twenty four, and I was like, by the time I'm thirty,
Speaker 1: this needs to happen. Aroun out. So the way that
Speaker 1: I treated dating was I would I would do. I
Speaker 1: mean I did every fucking horrible show you could. I
Speaker 1: looked on Craigslist to do gigs. Oh wow, Well you
Speaker 1: kind of have your reputation as like one of the
Speaker 1: hardest working comics doing like ten mics and I kind
Speaker 1: of oh yeah, and that's where it came from. Um,
Speaker 1: I did the Naked Show twenty times. Twenty times, that's
Speaker 1: the most amount of time. You just want to make
Speaker 1: sure everyone saw it. You just wanted the spot, man, Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was the thing. And I remember other comics and
Speaker 1: shipped on me for and I'm like, you're not getting
Speaker 1: booked on a Saturday night. Yeah, oh yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is just another spot. I've
Speaker 1: done the Naked show too. I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that that wasn't that I have a spot tonight?
Speaker 1: I don't think I did. So now I do the
Speaker 1: first thirty seconds like I'm naked, and then after that's like,
Speaker 1: I hope my new jokes go, we will give Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: no one cared, although I did hear that you have
Speaker 1: a big dick, sorry to beforeward. Do you have a
Speaker 1: big dick? I don't think so. He's like, I've always had.
Speaker 1: It's not big to me. It's got retarch drinks. What
Speaker 1: do you think of your dick? He's fine. Do you
Speaker 1: like it? Did you name it Mortimer? That's a good
Speaker 1: name for a dick. Oh my god, loud Diamond Phillips
Speaker 1: because it's the bomba and it's vaguely Asian. And yeah,
Speaker 1: So I was obsessed and the way that I would
Speaker 1: treat dating was I mean, yeah, I did all the websites.
Speaker 1: I met my wife on Okay cub but I did
Speaker 1: plenty of fish Craiglist, Crazy blind Date, Wait, wait one
Speaker 1: are those things crazy blind date dot com? Crazy blind crazy?
Speaker 1: And yeah that doesn't sound people like me would feel comfortable.
Speaker 1: Ily did one and it was like with this like
Speaker 1: this black like girl who was really religious, and like
Speaker 1: the second she's That's what's weird about like online dating.
Speaker 1: It's like sometimes like they see you and they already know,
Speaker 1: but then it's like, I guess we're gonna just pretend
Speaker 1: for a few hours. I mean, our grandparents pretended for
Speaker 1: fifty years wedde two hours at the Kellogg Diner. Did
Speaker 1: she seem disappointed when she saw you a person? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you just were like because see when that's happened to me?
Speaker 1: Because I didn't kick you. But for a while, and
Speaker 1: I really liked it. And mostly dates were horrible, but
Speaker 1: they were funny. But if I didn't like someone like
Speaker 1: within the first ten minutes, and I knew I didn't
Speaker 1: want to waste my time, I kinda I was like,
Speaker 1: let's just come on. I went on so many I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, and and and that was the thing. It was.
Speaker 1: It was the numbers game, like I'll do as many
Speaker 1: shows and mikes as I can to make it a comedy.
Speaker 1: I'll go on as many dates as I can. And
Speaker 1: it was it was unhealthy, you know, and I would um,
Speaker 1: it was tough because could you pay for the meal?
Speaker 1: I mean, did you you didn't write Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that's fine. I don't think that's RealD at all. But like,
Speaker 1: did that ever present itself as a problem. We're all
Speaker 1: kind of expected you to pay. It's kind of hard
Speaker 1: to hide that your poor, you know, like, and that
Speaker 1: was a tough thing, was you know, I was unemployed
Speaker 1: for a good amount of this and they would ask me,
Speaker 1: you know, what do you do? And I was embarrassed,
Speaker 1: like I would say comedy, but then I hadn't done anything,
Speaker 1: of course, yeah, you know, And that was the funny thing.
Speaker 1: I got booked to go to do the Montreal Comedy
Speaker 1: Festival the week before I met my wife, so when
Speaker 1: she asked me what I did, I was actually able
Speaker 1: to like look her in the Yeah. And even even
Speaker 1: like I was, I was so poor when I did Montreal,
Speaker 1: this is this is this is crazy. There was My
Speaker 1: shoes were so like fucking ripped apart and stuff that
Speaker 1: an open mic coat started a fund to get me
Speaker 1: new shoes. Like it's literally like the bottoms of them,
Speaker 1: you can just see my socks. There was nothing there.
Speaker 1: And I used that money to get a passport, yeah,
Speaker 1: because you need to pay the application. Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: when I was in the basement and stuff. I mean,
Speaker 1: and I remember when I was up there, and this
Speaker 1: is so sad. The first day I got to Montreal,
Speaker 1: I would go and um buy food for people at
Speaker 1: the are like I go to subway get it for them,
Speaker 1: you know, and they'd give me a couple of bucks.
Speaker 1: And I did that for yeah, Anthony and Amy Schumer
Speaker 1: no way, five years before I worked for her. I
Speaker 1: went and that's the storatic that is, that is poetic.
Speaker 1: That's what Now did you how did you propose? You're like,
Speaker 1: I'll get you a sand much for like a couple
Speaker 1: of the guy who became my managers, Like, you can't
Speaker 1: do that. Man, is that you're a comedy. You're here,
Speaker 1: He's like, I'll get your food. It's just like, Mike,
Speaker 1: please stop joking. It's embarrassing you. Like how did I
Speaker 1: date broke? Like I was broke? But then at being
Speaker 1: the girl being a broke spine. You could be the
Speaker 1: broke girl being the broke which is it sucks, like
Speaker 1: that's not fun. And our first my first day with
Speaker 1: my wife was not the best. We went we got
Speaker 1: Mexican food. I had after that because causeing effect right
Speaker 1: after your first day, Yeah, I was loved at first thing,
Speaker 1: and the first day was it was good, you know,
Speaker 1: and um, the second date, like, because this was the
Speaker 1: thing I used to do that was unhealthy. I always
Speaker 1: wanted them to see me do stand up and sometimes
Speaker 1: that would even be the first day. I've yelled at
Speaker 1: my good friend for that bring bringing dates to this day.
Speaker 1: A lot of dudes do that, and I would this
Speaker 1: is the douchest way to if you want to see
Speaker 1: the real me. I got what you meant because the
Speaker 1: one thing you really had going for you was your comedy.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and you're going for me really at that point,
Speaker 1: it was starting to um. But even like the first
Speaker 1: year with my wife, you know, she paid for more
Speaker 1: stuff and things like that, And how did that make
Speaker 1: you feel? Were you? Oh, it didn't make you feel terrible?
Speaker 1: And is it because she's the woman that I'm so
Speaker 1: interested in this dynamic of the man supposed it wasn't
Speaker 1: just unequalness in general because I had guy friends, you
Speaker 1: know that I was mooching off of that. I felt
Speaker 1: shitty about nothing to do with that. Yeah, and you know,
Speaker 1: and I looked back, I could have gotten a job
Speaker 1: during some of that when I didn't you know, I had.
Speaker 1: I had jobs for good parts of it, but other times,
Speaker 1: you know, I was an asshole. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: an artist, this is what I deserve. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: and I see people, you know, I see that part
Speaker 1: of myself and people now and it's like you want
Speaker 1: to have talks with them. I'm like, look like, I know,
Speaker 1: this seems like ideal and something like, but it's like
Speaker 1: you're just hurting other people. And also in New York City,
Speaker 1: I love I loved being poor here because there was
Speaker 1: always something to do for money. Like I would look
Speaker 1: on Craigslist and be like, oh, you want me clean
Speaker 1: your closet for fifty dollars, I'll do it like anything.
Speaker 1: I've done that a million times. Like I always like
Speaker 1: emotional modeling, like handing out stuff on the street, Like
Speaker 1: I would always like figure out a way because I don't.
Speaker 1: I still I am not sure how I survived, Like
Speaker 1: I was making like for a good part of my
Speaker 1: thirteen years here, like nineteen thousand dollars a year less
Speaker 1: than that, I don't yeah, and when but I was
Speaker 1: like paying my like I'm not living in a basement,
Speaker 1: So I still don't know when I was living in
Speaker 1: an apartment. Yeah. I stocked restaurants at La Guardia for
Speaker 1: a year and a half and made eight dollars an
Speaker 1: hour before Texas, I was like eight dollars an hour.
Speaker 1: I was like that, even do you remember? I remember
Speaker 1: one day when because we were we've been so we've
Speaker 1: been poor as fuck, um, where you gave me one
Speaker 1: of your subway sandwich coupons and I was like almost cried.
Speaker 1: I was like, thank you so much higher sixes of
Speaker 1: sandwich when I lost when I lost a Metro card
Speaker 1: and that was, oh my god. I didn't even have
Speaker 1: to pay for extra ones back then. But I I
Speaker 1: there were a couple of times where I would stand
Speaker 1: outside the subway doors like can someone swipe me? Yea.
Speaker 1: So I want to have an unlimited always white people
Speaker 1: because it's the right thing to do. Yeah, is it
Speaker 1: maybe not very strict no giving anything to anyone policy
Speaker 1: I do. I don't know. It's just I don't know,
Speaker 1: It's just I just I just have like stuck by
Speaker 1: it my whole time. And it's not that I don't care.
Speaker 1: I give to cherries and stuff, but I just can't
Speaker 1: individual people. I just don't do it because giving him
Speaker 1: the one and it makes you like, well, that guy
Speaker 1: deserves it too, so you give them. When I moved here,
Speaker 1: I gave money away to homeless people all the time.
Speaker 1: I have any I've given food to people. My favorite
Speaker 1: is like like people who like visit or new here
Speaker 1: when they get mad at the homeless people, like I
Speaker 1: gave him a dollar and you didn't say thanks. I'm like,
Speaker 1: mental illness works, yeah, because you have it. Yeah. One
Speaker 1: one thing email that we've been getting lately is from
Speaker 1: guys that feel awkward or creepy approaching girls, like how
Speaker 1: do I approach a girl? And then I'm like, we
Speaker 1: have Mike Lawrence here today, I ask him. I'm just curious.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're the type of guy whatever you
Speaker 1: would say. I'm like, dude, what Mike does? Because I
Speaker 1: like him and he's good. Well, I mean, like I said,
Speaker 1: I was terrible at it, and you know, not drinking,
Speaker 1: so it's like I can't go to bars. And it's
Speaker 1: also that's hard. That's really tricky. Yeah, if you don't
Speaker 1: drink and you're hitting on drunk chicks, there's it's very weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not good. Um, and I never I never wanted
Speaker 1: to fund comics like it just never. I mean we've
Speaker 1: heard that a lot. Yeah. I have the edible issue
Speaker 1: too with it though. Oh it's like sucking someone who
Speaker 1: did up my mom right right right? Okay, what if
Speaker 1: her up and she gives birth to me? So the
Speaker 1: meeting women online, that was a really good way. It
Speaker 1: was the only way for me. Yeah, I didn't have
Speaker 1: the social skills. I remember like my second month here,
Speaker 1: I did this like I think it was going to
Speaker 1: meet Market Adventures ohez yeah, and it was m e
Speaker 1: E T. But it just felt like and what it
Speaker 1: was the saddest thing when it was for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: This was you know, and I was like, I moved
Speaker 1: here January oh seven, Um, you know, never seen snow before,
Speaker 1: just freezing walking around with my open mic printout sheet
Speaker 1: from from Giggled Chicken chuckle monkey. Yeah, I had to.
Speaker 1: I had to buy a coat once I got here.
Speaker 1: And so that was my second month here. And what
Speaker 1: it was was, you know, it was like this meet
Speaker 1: up thing of like finding like potential dates. And it
Speaker 1: was the saddest what they would give you a half
Speaker 1: of a Valentine's Day card and you had to find
Speaker 1: the person with the other half a nightmare and she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: look at that, it's the same card. There was nothing there.
Speaker 1: It was the Yeah, it was yeah. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: I because I had a girlfriend like maybe two years
Speaker 1: before my wife, and then I went, you know, and
Speaker 1: then I had sex like maybe six months after that girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I went like a year and a half without sex
Speaker 1: before my wife. It's sexy. It's actually important to some people,
Speaker 1: just not that important. Yeah, I mean it's also you know,
Speaker 1: going six years without it, you kind of just realized,
Speaker 1: like I don't I don't regret the six year relationship
Speaker 1: I was in. And the fascinating thing about Christine is
Speaker 1: I think she might be trans. Oh wow, saw her
Speaker 1: on Facebook recently and it was Christine in parentheses Chris
Speaker 1: and then her last name. Wait, like if she was trans,
Speaker 1: like when you were with her or she after? Like
Speaker 1: she trans? She had some of those feelings, like the feelings. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but she was born females what we're saying. Okay, but
Speaker 1: I feel like she might be now. And it's like,
Speaker 1: as everything makes so much more, it does make sense. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's why she doesn't want someone on slider. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's Also it's like typical dude. Yeah, that's awesome. I
Speaker 1: don't talk to you anymore. You should ask now, I
Speaker 1: just want to that's cool. Do you say in touch
Speaker 1: with any of your excess? No? No, it's also because
Speaker 1: I have so much regret and like, like I I
Speaker 1: can talk about any part of my life. I don't
Speaker 1: have a lot of shame. But it's at the same time,
Speaker 1: like you move on, things are different. Like I mean,
Speaker 1: there was a the girl that I dated before Christine. Um,
Speaker 1: it was just not like you know, there was another Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was poor. It was a bad part of the
Speaker 1: time of my life. Like I don't need to remember
Speaker 1: that more than I already do. Sometimes, when did you
Speaker 1: know you wanted to ask your wife to marry you?
Speaker 1: That's such an interesting moment that I hearing about, especially
Speaker 1: from guys. That's really sweet. Well, you know, like so,
Speaker 1: so I'm thirty three and like you know, a couple
Speaker 1: of years ago, you know, you start doing the wedding circuit.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, just stand up at wedding. What smart people
Speaker 1: are getting married? I'm asking you every gig, I said,
Speaker 1: every gig naked naked weddings. Yeah, I I did stand
Speaker 1: up at the blind Melon b Field in the b costume.
Speaker 1: We I I just her grandfather who passed away this year.
Speaker 1: Um was he died at the age was? I mean,
Speaker 1: I knew she was the one anyway, but it was
Speaker 1: there is that pressure of like, I want him to
Speaker 1: see this. I proposed in front of him on Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: in front of the family and all that. Are you
Speaker 1: nervous to propose or excited? Yeah? It was. Well, it
Speaker 1: was funny because like we're at dinner. We said my
Speaker 1: mom was the only one who knew. And the way
Speaker 1: we were going to do it was everyone's gonna go
Speaker 1: around the table say what they're thankful for. I'll go last,
Speaker 1: my fiance. It was funny, and I was like, Y'll
Speaker 1: go last. I'm like, no, I want someone to follow me.
Speaker 1: I don't follow. Let him feel it, let him have
Speaker 1: to Mike Lawrence their way out of this. So so
Speaker 1: I went last, and and during the whole dinner I
Speaker 1: had the ringbox in my pocket sitting next to her,
Speaker 1: and so like it kind of felt like a ball.
Speaker 1: Luckily she never noticed. And then and then I proposed,
Speaker 1: you know, and he got to see it, which you
Speaker 1: know means everything to me. Um and I know what
Speaker 1: that meant to her. And she's close to the grandfather
Speaker 1: because there I know there's oh yeah, the closest. And
Speaker 1: I know there's like those comics who like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to propose after a show or that. It's like it's
Speaker 1: got to be about the other person. Oh god, yeah
Speaker 1: do that? No, no, no, did you get down on
Speaker 1: one knee? Yeah? The whole thing? Nice? Yeah, yess yeah. Wow.
Speaker 1: Did you think about getting down one knee before you
Speaker 1: did it? Or were you like, oh, is what I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to do? Yeah? And that's always been that weird
Speaker 1: thing of like tradition and things like that, because I'm
Speaker 1: not a student tie guy. That's not me at all.
Speaker 1: And sometimes you're like okay, and and and that's been
Speaker 1: a part of the marriage, is like letting her decide
Speaker 1: all that stuff, like I'm I'm going to the Emmys
Speaker 1: this weekend, and it's like, all right, you pick out
Speaker 1: the tuxt, you find the barber, you do this, you
Speaker 1: do that. Because that means something to her. It doesn't
Speaker 1: to me. I've Ne've never given a ship about that stuff.
Speaker 1: I just don't care about. My appearance doesn't bother me.
Speaker 1: And I mean that's also why I do well at
Speaker 1: roast battle because people make fun of it and act
Speaker 1: like it's not a conscious choice. Right right, You're like, no,
Speaker 1: I could I know I could do. Yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: make fun of my beard, I'll make fun of your
Speaker 1: painful to four, I'll go. I'm sad. Is there any
Speaker 1: difference between being married and just living together as a couple, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's such a cliche question, but I am curious, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't I can't imagine it being much different, But
Speaker 1: maybe it is that I don't know because I'm not married.
Speaker 1: We only live like because so we lived together like
Speaker 1: in this loft space in Williamsburg with like three of
Speaker 1: the roommates and then we so we got married in
Speaker 1: um September. We moved in together into our own place
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn like two months before that, and I was
Speaker 1: on the road a good amount of that time. But
Speaker 1: it definitely, Yeah, it changes things a lot, living situation.
Speaker 1: There's a security there, um just knowing like I mean,
Speaker 1: And it also just feels great saying my wife. The
Speaker 1: living situation, the and and there's there's couples that are
Speaker 1: together years and years that never get married and that
Speaker 1: works for them and they're happy. I'm not one of
Speaker 1: the I hate the people who try to push marriage
Speaker 1: on other people. Yeah, you know, if it's what you want,
Speaker 1: it's what you want. I I love it. I mean
Speaker 1: it's also, yeah, I have the fear of abandonment, of
Speaker 1: being alone and knowing like, oh, you can leave, but
Speaker 1: it's going to be tough for both of us. You
Speaker 1: a lot of money, bag. Yeah, so just sit here
Speaker 1: and watch season one of Unreal with me on episode seven. Um,
Speaker 1: it's just it just feels like you're a part of
Speaker 1: this tradition. Yeah, that lots of other people are. I
Speaker 1: do want to beat my parents record nine and a
Speaker 1: half years. I think you can do it, Mike, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so. I know, I love marriage and just
Speaker 1: and it is a thing, like you know what it
Speaker 1: means to other people, Like even when you're at a
Speaker 1: show and it's like, hey, can my wife come in?
Speaker 1: Means more than girlfriend. Yeah, you're right. It does have
Speaker 1: this gravitas to it. And I love her as much
Speaker 1: now as I did then. Like I don't feel like
Speaker 1: it's changed our feelings towards each other that much. But
Speaker 1: but yeah, they're like I said, the security, I mean,
Speaker 1: we want kids were building towards that. It's how do
Speaker 1: you do that? Like, how do you build towards having kids?
Speaker 1: That's something about adulthood that I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 1: what the funk I'm gonna do when I want that
Speaker 1: to happen. I guess it just happens and you figure
Speaker 1: it out. I mean to me, because I was poor
Speaker 1: so long and I'm not anymore. It is tied to money,
Speaker 1: like can I afford to do this? Is this something?
Speaker 1: And now it's like, okay, we can afford to do this.
Speaker 1: And and just even like like certain like responsibilities like
Speaker 1: that you have as a husband feel awesome. Like the
Speaker 1: fact that I can give my wife health insurance because
Speaker 1: of dick jokes is like the greatest feeling in the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, like the actual benefits of marriage. Like that's
Speaker 1: I was such a pro gay marriage person because it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: everyone fucking deserves that. They want it absolutely damn. What
Speaker 1: a beautiful note to end on. Yeah, Mike Lawrence taking
Speaker 1: a ballsy stance on gay marriage. Good my my my
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend who never had sex that he might be trans.
Speaker 1: I hope she's happy now, beautiful, There's no point in
Speaker 1: having anger you know. Yeah, I don't do anything for you.
Speaker 1: Um where can we find you online? Did you have
Speaker 1: anything coming up that you want to promote? Because you should.
Speaker 1: Guys should see him. He's one of the funniest comedians
Speaker 1: working so much. Um, Mike Laurence Comedy dot com. I
Speaker 1: have a fall tour coming called the Fantastic Tours, so
Speaker 1: perfect for you. Oh yeah, oh yeah. I am on
Speaker 1: brand like a motherfucker. That should be your tagline, brand
Speaker 1: like a motherfucker, Mike Laurence. He knows what he is.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'll be um at should do? I ramble
Speaker 1: to all the comedy clip dame if you want to
Speaker 1: wear whatever you want? When's this? Whenson Friday? Okay? Awesome? Greenville,
Speaker 1: South Carolina Comedy Zone, Portland Helium the nine through October one.
Speaker 1: You know it's all on my website. Go there. I
Speaker 1: feel weird. No, that was a good start. So you're
Speaker 1: in North Carolina. Reportlet we have a lot of listeners.
Speaker 1: I will be in the Fort Lauderdale Improv my home club,
Speaker 1: the first club I ever did stand up in that
Speaker 1: where I did a bring your show where I had
Speaker 1: to get ten people, and to do that, I put
Speaker 1: tickets in people's happy meals. That's so brilliant, strategy, so smart.
Speaker 1: So eleven years later, on my eleven year comedy Adversary,
Speaker 1: I will be headlining the Fort Lauderdale Improv the third
Speaker 1: through the fifth of November. Oh that's awesome. Well, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. That was pretty story. Go see them live.
Speaker 1: This has been guys, be the anti slop changing podcast.
Speaker 1: We'll talk you next Friday. Take a picture of least
Speaker 1: week bens. So I know wasn't well. So I know
Speaker 1: that I've been getting my rest cause I haven't done
Speaker 1: so great and I haven't had a dreamy pas few
Speaker 1: days for maybe years. But I've been a turkey with
Speaker 1: my friends, choking down the last few peers and I'm
Speaker 1: so bad up the stairs trying to make it to
Speaker 1: my bed. It's the last time that I do this.
Speaker 1: I tell myself that I'll get to this, that I
Speaker 1: don't care that I'm aware, but I've been wasting time
Speaker 1: with you, and there's a day I get to sometimes
Speaker 1: when us happened this and I be a winter to
Speaker 1: pass once in in a while. I wouldn't like to
Speaker 1: bel Pine all all live, but there that I water
Speaker 1: love water of bel Way the last year Hollow Hollo.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked the Anti Selection Podcast. Thanks so much
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