Speaker 1: But of course, of course you have come through the
Speaker 1: internet in order to find medways here waiting for you.
Speaker 1: Now come close, put your ear next to me, and lisen,
Speaker 1: let me do all of the work.
Speaker 2: Ah, you sit back and laugh. I know Alexis just
Speaker 2: celebrated her birthday the other night, and I do want
Speaker 2: to hear more about how that went in which friends
Speaker 2: couch she puked on. But on this same exact day,
Speaker 2: Jose had an on field experience to watch a professional
Speaker 2: soccer match. We only have time to cover one. I
Speaker 2: happened all the time, but Jose posting video of himself
Speaker 2: on some field only happens like once a month. So
Speaker 2: take away Alexis's birthday time. It goes straight to him.
Speaker 3: Whatever you're lost, regret this, remember any of it.
Speaker 2: Because I want to feel what you felt. Tell me
Speaker 2: the sights and the sounds and the smells of being
Speaker 2: so close to professional male athletes.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, on the field, you literally can smell
Speaker 4: the artificial turf.
Speaker 5: It is to say the men's sweat. I mean all
Speaker 5: of the hotness of the sports players, soccer players, they
Speaker 5: really they are the cream of the crust.
Speaker 6: And there was a couple of people that threw the
Speaker 6: ball in right by me.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Normally, when you like heckle people from the stands, it's different.
Speaker 6: But when they can hear you, it's waving.
Speaker 3: And he felt bad.
Speaker 6: I'm like, you're ugly.
Speaker 2: I'd bring up any of the restraining orders that they
Speaker 2: have against you.
Speaker 6: No, No, one of my good friends did wave back.
Speaker 6: Who plays on the team.
Speaker 3: I was like, yo, Dan, it's me friends.
Speaker 6: He could have been waving as somebody else, but I.
Speaker 5: Think it was I got to say, you do have
Speaker 5: mascot energy.
Speaker 6: And I met the mascot.
Speaker 4: He came right under the field energy this morning.
Speaker 3: Anything I would be a great mascot.
Speaker 6: I would just get tired and hot in the suit.
Speaker 5: I would be like, you'd be a whiny mascot.
Speaker 2: And God forced the fans to leave because they get
Speaker 2: sick of you.
Speaker 3: You can't do back. He can't sit down really well.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, all though time, it sounded like you had
Speaker 2: a pretty good time. My guess is, yeah, your dad
Speaker 2: liked that. Even though he wasn't there, you loved it.
Speaker 6: We were texting the whole time.
Speaker 5: I like how you were on the phone the whole time.
Speaker 6: I wish my dad could have been there.
Speaker 7: I thought of him.
Speaker 2: That's pretty cool. Sorry, Alexis, were out of time.
Speaker 8: For you.
Speaker 2: Want to get you back next year around your birthday.
Speaker 2: Maybe go to like a rec league basketball game and
Speaker 2: gets on the court there, But I'm right behind the roop. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So now we have to get into the shot color question.
Speaker 8: Of the day.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm courtsac for this too, and I am one
Speaker 2: hundred percent not gonna mail this in at all today, Jake, Okay,
Speaker 2: you can count on me to give it all. Let's
Speaker 2: get to that question. What do we got well?
Speaker 9: Yesterday? For the first time in years, we actually received
Speaker 9: some positive listener feedback about the show.
Speaker 2: I don't believe it.
Speaker 3: Did they text the right show?
Speaker 9: We ditched the singing punishment for the shot collar question
Speaker 9: and instead replaced it with reading random obituary that they
Speaker 9: said it was the happiest on air moment since Brooke
Speaker 9: announced she won her lawsuit against the local children's museum.
Speaker 9: That dumb swing set won't block review in the Bay anymore,
Speaker 9: So we're gonna stick with what worked yesterday, where the
Speaker 9: losing team reads a random obituary I found online for
Speaker 9: another uplifting edition of Cap or No Cap. We're gonna
Speaker 9: start with Gellexis, the creator of the Reese's Peanut. Buttercup
Speaker 9: was a man named Buttercup Johnson cap or no cap?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 6: Oh well okay. My first reaction is no way.
Speaker 4: But then I think Snickers is literally named after a
Speaker 4: horse named Snickers. Some of these are actually named like
Speaker 4: after something like word for word is.
Speaker 3: One of my best friends is nicknamed Buttercup.
Speaker 5: Really, I have never asked him how he got it
Speaker 5: because I don't think I want to know, because I
Speaker 5: know Perpuff Girls too.
Speaker 4: It's just too silly. I don't think it's right. I
Speaker 4: think it's cap.
Speaker 3: Okay, awesome, cap too.
Speaker 2: They said Cap, and that is cap.
Speaker 9: The man's name was Harry Reese.
Speaker 3: That is a family I should have married in too.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 9: Over to Brook and Jeffrey. Before becoming a famous author,
Speaker 9: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes, was
Speaker 9: in charge of London's gigantic Lost and Found stash cap Horn.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's crazy.
Speaker 2: Maybe this is where he got his inspiration for all
Speaker 2: of his amazing stories.
Speaker 3: I was taken for his disguises. Oh you know.
Speaker 5: The Sherlock Holmes hat is so famous. Maybe it was
Speaker 5: just a Loston found item.
Speaker 2: I was just thinking he's going through and he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: now I can do Sherlock Holmes in the case of
Speaker 2: the missing friendship heartbreak, I love it.
Speaker 3: I want there to be one city wide lost. Like
Speaker 3: that is so funny to me.
Speaker 2: Let's say it's no CAP.
Speaker 3: I go no capture.
Speaker 2: They said no cap and.
Speaker 9: That is cap.
Speaker 2: Wide is now, Yeah, that's not a thing.
Speaker 9: He was the goalie for the Portsmouth Football Club, which
Speaker 9: was amateur then, but his professional now now he would
Speaker 9: be a professional soccer player. It's one nothing, Gelexis.
Speaker 3: I was just on the field for a soccer Yeah,
Speaker 3: let's keep going.
Speaker 9: Sorry, back to Jelexis in the nineteen thirties, when the
Speaker 9: original Superman comic was created, one of his superpowers was
Speaker 9: being able to expand into a giant blimp cap or
Speaker 9: no might have been indigible at the time. Not sure
Speaker 9: what terms the.
Speaker 3: Faster than a speeding plane.
Speaker 5: Or a slow bigger than a bloom.
Speaker 10: It's true he does fly and stuff, so they could
Speaker 10: just maybe could switch into anything that.
Speaker 2: I could he use that superpower for just to show off,
Speaker 2: I don't know, put some.
Speaker 5: Signs on the blimp advertisement.
Speaker 3: He's got to make money somehow.
Speaker 2: Fly over a race.
Speaker 4: I mean, here's the thing about Superman is he has
Speaker 4: so many powers.
Speaker 2: You know he has.
Speaker 4: He's super fast, he's super strong, he can fly. But
Speaker 4: I don't think I've ever heard of him being able
Speaker 4: to shape shift bloopy boy.
Speaker 3: If it's like blending so people don't know he's.
Speaker 6: Coming, I don't think it's right.
Speaker 3: I think it'd be fun if he was a blimp.
Speaker 3: So we're gonna say no.
Speaker 9: Cash, all right, Brook and Jeffrey, you're down one. This
Speaker 9: last question is worth two points. You're either gonna win
Speaker 9: it or you're gonna lose on this. Over their lifetime,
Speaker 9: an average British person spends a year of their life
Speaker 9: hungover cap or no cap.
Speaker 2: Just a year, that's what. Don't they start drinking in
Speaker 2: like in the womb?
Speaker 5: I honestly don't know if a year is a lot
Speaker 5: or a little bit? Like is that above average? Is
Speaker 5: that below average?
Speaker 2: I mean you're hungover for like an entire day after
Speaker 2: you drink.
Speaker 5: Oh not after thirty five, after thirty five years old,
Speaker 5: you're hungover for at least three days.
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, so you think it's more.
Speaker 5: I think it's more. I think that this is cap,
Speaker 5: just because I think it's more.
Speaker 2: Let's go with the drinking expert in the room, Brook,
Speaker 2: take it away.
Speaker 9: Yeah cap, they say cap, and this is no cap.
Speaker 9: Alexis wins an average of an entire year in the
Speaker 9: life of a British person. So Brook and Jeffrey, you're
Speaker 9: gonna read the obituary for a woman named Selma Cock.
Speaker 2: Oh, pretty sure it might have coke. It's ko c h.
Speaker 10: That's coke, Okay, Selma Cock Wait Coke, Coke, excel m Coke.
Speaker 5: As store owner who earned a national reputation by helping
Speaker 5: women find the right bra side.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's amazing, mostly through a discerning glance and
Speaker 2: never with a tape measure. That Thursday at Masie My
Speaker 2: Medical Hospital, she was ninety five and a thirty four BT.
Speaker 5: What a talented woman.
Speaker 6: Rest in peace.
Speaker 2: That's your shock collar question of the day. Phone tads
Speaker 2: coming up in just a few minutes.
Speaker 11: Frooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: I was thinking, we need to figure out ways to
Speaker 2: be closer as a group and bond because it helps
Speaker 2: out with our on air chemistry.
Speaker 5: You you were thinking that usually we invite you to
Speaker 5: things you're like.
Speaker 2: File go, I would say sorry, I was thinking of
Speaker 2: good ideas to help us, boss. And I remember in
Speaker 2: the movie Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, this group of
Speaker 2: girls all shares one pair of jeans and they take
Speaker 2: turns wearing them so that they all stay connected and
Speaker 2: they keep their friendship tight.
Speaker 6: So you saw it, But I've heard of this movie.
Speaker 2: I brought in my lucky pair of underwear. You can
Speaker 2: go first, you very small underwear. You wear them for
Speaker 2: three days, and then you pass them to Brook. Don't
Speaker 2: wash them because that ruins the magic, the chemistry. And again,
Speaker 2: if they survive after Brook, then they'll pass along to
Speaker 2: Alexis brook underwear.
Speaker 6: Our underwear is very large.
Speaker 2: But yeah, jose Is first, brook Is second, then Alexis,
Speaker 2: and then finally I will put them on last and
Speaker 2: soak up all the goodness of our friendship so that
Speaker 2: it will feel closer than ever before.
Speaker 3: You're volunteering for that position.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't you guys want to bond?
Speaker 3: You you too, Just do it you And.
Speaker 2: If you're not into that, I guess we can just
Speaker 2: connect the old school way and ask each other what's
Speaker 2: going on in our lives and what's on your minds.
Speaker 8: Do that?
Speaker 2: That sounds easy, it's fun, but we'll.
Speaker 11: Do it, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: If you're driving into work right now and want to
Speaker 2: make some quick money, just do what I did. I
Speaker 2: sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the twenty seventh
Speaker 2: time in a row.
Speaker 3: He's going back to you.
Speaker 2: Easy cash. That's what's on my mind. Let's find out
Speaker 2: what my host have been thinking about though, Starting with
Speaker 2: Brooke Brook, what's on your mind.
Speaker 3: We're on a road.
Speaker 5: Trip over the weekend and we pull into a Wendy's
Speaker 5: right and we're just about to leave, and my husband goes,
Speaker 5: what wa wait wait wait we know those people, and
Speaker 5: I'm like what He's like reverse, we gotta.
Speaker 6: Say, hi, I love your husband.
Speaker 3: I don't want to talk to people, and yeah, it.
Speaker 5: Just dawned on me. He just keeps trying to make friends.
Speaker 10: Okay, friends everyone.
Speaker 5: We don't need any more new friends. Okay of friends closed.
Speaker 3: That was what I've decided, Okay, dr friends. I am
Speaker 3: with him on.
Speaker 5: That because I barely have enough energy for the people
Speaker 5: I love dearly in my life, Like I don't see
Speaker 5: my best friends and I don't need to add more.
Speaker 3: To the mix.
Speaker 5: Okay, it just stresses me out, and then having to
Speaker 5: remember more names.
Speaker 3: So we reverse.
Speaker 5: And then there are these two people and I'm like,
Speaker 5: I don't know them, you.
Speaker 2: Forget.
Speaker 10: We ended up meeting up with them and they were
Speaker 10: lovely and they're such nice.
Speaker 3: And then I went home and I'm like, I don't
Speaker 3: know whatever.
Speaker 5: Like I used to be really extroverted, and I'm going
Speaker 5: the other way. I am becoming introverted and just like
Speaker 5: a homebody.
Speaker 6: These things.
Speaker 5: If my husband sees you and tries to be your friend,
Speaker 5: telling him he knows it, tell him that we have
Speaker 5: too many.
Speaker 4: I was told him, allowed to be friends, run away.
Speaker 2: What's on your mind?
Speaker 8: Well?
Speaker 4: I tried sending a meme to my father the other day,
Speaker 4: and the meme is a small action figure holding a
Speaker 4: small fish. Because the action figure is next.
Speaker 3: To the fish, fish looks huge. It's like bigger than
Speaker 3: the scale thing exactly.
Speaker 6: And I said, a fish jau who loves fishing.
Speaker 4: He loves fishing, and so I try to send him
Speaker 4: simple ones. And the caption literally says, when going fishing,
Speaker 4: take an action figure or doll with you so your
Speaker 4: catch looks amazing.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I thought it was self explanatory.
Speaker 2: Okay, why did it looks it looks big and so
Speaker 2: it's impressive.
Speaker 4: At anchovy right Anyway, I figured he's just gonna laugh,
Speaker 4: but he's such a literal person. When you text him,
Speaker 4: I told you guys a lot about this, he replies, quote,
Speaker 4: there is no way a Simon could ever a girl
Speaker 4: to big that size.
Speaker 6: And I go, well, Dad, it's a joke.
Speaker 2: Read the caption.
Speaker 6: It's just an action figure holding a tiny fish. That's
Speaker 6: the whole joke.
Speaker 4: It could be a goldfish and then you put it
Speaker 4: next to it and it looks huge. I explain all
Speaker 4: this to Then he responds, is, oh, I get it.
Speaker 6: The fish is actually a trout. How he thinks he
Speaker 6: got it?
Speaker 2: He's cracking up, and I'm like, no, Dad, just tell
Speaker 2: him that he got it, you know, I did.
Speaker 4: I just I don't know if anyone else listening has
Speaker 4: to explain memes of their parents.
Speaker 6: Let me know. Let us know, because we're in the
Speaker 6: same boat.
Speaker 3: I want to see about all the guys houlding.
Speaker 4: Fish, Well, that's a rainbow trout and he's not caught
Speaker 4: in that lake.
Speaker 2: What's been on your mind?
Speaker 5: So over the weekend, I turned a year older, but
Speaker 5: I realized I'm not really acting any older.
Speaker 3: Sixteen. I spent my birthday at the zoo with my
Speaker 3: friends totally he's sober to Actually.
Speaker 10: We ran out of time there, so we spent forty
Speaker 10: five minutes trying to play a game who could jump
Speaker 10: the farthest?
Speaker 11: Oh?
Speaker 3: Did you guys?
Speaker 5: He all those birthday tables too, where they like Saturday for.
Speaker 3: Someone had a party sign No, and I'm jealous. I
Speaker 3: was like, I need to book that for next year.
Speaker 5: I had chicken nuggets for dinner at dog Later.
Speaker 3: Also, so you're turning eight in a cookie, I.
Speaker 5: Said, out a cookie too.
Speaker 6: Did you get kicked out because you were drying chalk
Speaker 6: all over the.
Speaker 3: Ground to close?
Speaker 6: Because I wasn't ready to leave, so I really closed
Speaker 6: the place down.
Speaker 2: The need to go to bed.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 5: You keep doking getting older, but I want you to
Speaker 5: know I'm still the same meat. Okay, yeah, exact.
Speaker 3: Exactly. All right, everyone's on your mind.
Speaker 2: They send out mailers from our home station whenever they
Speaker 2: do contests around here, and I have the latest one
Speaker 2: right here. Yeah, And I don't know. I just thought,
Speaker 2: I just thought it's interesting the pictures of us.
Speaker 5: Well, it's a picture that they use all the time.
Speaker 2: I will say I this one's a little different. Brooke
Speaker 2: has clearly unbuttoned an extra button before the shoot.
Speaker 5: You have not been paying attention. I at least two
Speaker 5: to three buttons before any shoot.
Speaker 3: Oh, it is my greatest asset in the.
Speaker 2: Show, Brook, Yeah, yeah. I mean Jose looks fine except
Speaker 2: for the stained blue T shirt with the loose collar
Speaker 2: around it. Obviously didn't get the email it was photo
Speaker 2: shoot day.
Speaker 6: It's still a collared shirt.
Speaker 2: Alexis appears to be ten to fifteen years older than
Speaker 2: she really is. And I don't know if that's the
Speaker 2: hair or the I makeup, but it reminds me of
Speaker 2: one of the women on the view. Like George Big
Speaker 2: called out sick one day, Alexis could fill it.
Speaker 3: Do you think I got a lot of bush on
Speaker 3: that day?
Speaker 2: Let me see this and then it comes to me
Speaker 2: and just look at me, Brooke, I'm clearly photoshopped in it,
Speaker 2: Like look a look at my face photo. He is
Speaker 2: definitely airbrushed one hundred percent. My ears are normally out wide,
Speaker 2: but they've cropped them in.
Speaker 3: You think they cropped her hair?
Speaker 5: Actually, do look more airbrush than well, not then a lessis,
Speaker 5: but than anybody else.
Speaker 2: I have never smiled like that in my entire life.
Speaker 3: That's how you smile.
Speaker 5: That's your fake smile.
Speaker 2: That's a super kind, gentle smile. I won't do that.
Speaker 5: Yours is more aggressive.
Speaker 2: They adjusted my top lip or something, or my gums.
Speaker 2: It makes me look like I'm sucking in my top lips.
Speaker 2: Long very disappointed in it. I've never taken a photo
Speaker 2: like that in my entire life. So what do you
Speaker 2: make nice?
Speaker 3: You look young and handsome.
Speaker 2: That's not me you to start. Maybe that's my SIMS
Speaker 2: character version of me. Maybe the listeners could point out
Speaker 2: all the problems what's wrong with me in the picture
Speaker 2: when we posted up on the Instagram.
Speaker 5: Because I've lost at least fifteen then yeah, well, these
Speaker 5: are the photo shoots that they try their best to
Speaker 5: get me to not show my gums, but it just
Speaker 5: it doesn't happen.
Speaker 3: I got a gummy smile.
Speaker 2: And fine text it tell us what's been on your mind?
Speaker 2: It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Whenever we share
Speaker 2: what's been on our mind. We asked the listeners to
Speaker 2: text in seventy five nine two, tell us what's been
Speaker 2: on theirs? Someone wrote in no thoughts, head empty, but.
Speaker 6: You're still texting it.
Speaker 2: I love that, I really do. Actually, you could probably
Speaker 2: lead a really low brown meditation class. Now take your
Speaker 2: head empty, no thoughts inside.
Speaker 3: Don't understand that clear in your mind.
Speaker 5: Whenever I asked, like my husband, what do you think
Speaker 5: about it, it's like nothing, like really like just there's
Speaker 5: no thoughts. He's like, yeah, no thoughts.
Speaker 2: Another text says, good morning, Alexis. I love it when
Speaker 2: alcohol is mentioned on the show, especially vodka, because you
Speaker 2: get all giggly and excited.
Speaker 3: I just started creating it.
Speaker 6: Yes, want to talk to somebod.
Speaker 2: Let's test it out. Sea breeze. You don't know what
Speaker 2: that is? Okay, vodka? C oh yeah, wow, that's a
Speaker 2: sea breeze. Who knows what a sea breeze is?
Speaker 3: It's of a Jessice country club.
Speaker 2: You guys aren't allowed to keep your text coming. In
Speaker 2: seventy five nine too, tell us what you've been thinking.
Speaker 11: About brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: I think we all have one person in our life
Speaker 2: who's just extremely dramatic. Every story they tell is super extra,
Speaker 2: like when they get to work. They're like, ugh, this
Speaker 2: is the worst day of my freaking life. Went to
Speaker 2: the break room to get my triple vanilla almonds soy
Speaker 2: oatmelt glatte and what do I see? A stupid sign
Speaker 2: staring me right in the face, screaming at me. Coffee
Speaker 2: machine is broken for you today? Candice like, what exqueeze me?
Speaker 2: Why does the universe hate my existence? Right now? It's
Speaker 2: like nobody wants me to be happy?
Speaker 5: I can't even do you have friends?
Speaker 2: Today? We have two people on the phone who definitely
Speaker 2: have some very dramatic stories about their lives, but they're
Speaker 2: not overdoing it. They're one hundred percent true because they're
Speaker 2: about the nightmare dates they really experience.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I actually feel for them.
Speaker 2: Brace yourself for a brand new Battle of the Tender
Speaker 2: Dates coming up at seven ten.
Speaker 11: One dating app then dares you just swipe right? The
Speaker 11: question is whose love life is more tragic?
Speaker 2: It's Battle Love the Tender Dates. It's the dating game
Speaker 2: show that strongly encouraged a Laddin to Scotch guard that
Speaker 2: magic carpet, but he didn't listen. It's the Battle of
Speaker 2: the Tender Dates where two of our listeners go head
Speaker 2: to head to find out whose dating life is the
Speaker 2: most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just a second,
Speaker 2: but first let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, his
Speaker 2: seductive party trick is d shelling an entire lobster inside
Speaker 2: of his mouth. WHOA, yeah, that's why the ladies call
Speaker 2: him him seafood trio Leo.
Speaker 8: Hey, what the guy just an oyster in there?
Speaker 3: I don't know, but hope nobody's allergic to shellfish.
Speaker 2: And in the other corner, he swears he has a
Speaker 2: sick motorcycle parked just outside. It's just invisible right now.
Speaker 2: Meet Harley Charlie.
Speaker 12: Hey, hey, how's it going.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you need to wear a helmet on that bike, Charlie.
Speaker 8: He needed.
Speaker 2: The game works. One contestant is going to start by
Speaker 2: telling one of their worst dating stories. Then the other
Speaker 2: will try and counter with the nightmare story of their own.
Speaker 2: We're going back and forth for three rounds till we
Speaker 2: declare a winner. We're gonna start things off with you,
Speaker 2: seafood trio Leo. Let's go all right.
Speaker 8: So I was hooking up with this chick. We're making
Speaker 8: out when she stopped. She told me that she saw
Speaker 8: a bald spot on the back of my head.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, how could she see the back of your
Speaker 2: head when you're making out?
Speaker 11: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Felt it?
Speaker 2: Then, I don't know, some weird stuff, man, go on.
Speaker 8: She said that meant that i'd be bald by thirty
Speaker 8: and he doesn't date bald guys. So she left.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, my friend.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry old guys.
Speaker 2: And one day you're gonna be seventy.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 8: I don't know if it was maybe just an excuse
Speaker 8: to leave, but ever since I've been buying special hair product.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's all right.
Speaker 5: She gave you a complex, but you know you may
Speaker 5: have thicker hair because of it.
Speaker 2: Charlie, can you count her?
Speaker 12: So we were at the movies right for our first date.
Speaker 12: Eything going smooth. Her phone accidentity went off. Yeah, the
Speaker 12: screen lights up and I can see my tender profile
Speaker 12: like her wallpaper on her phone.
Speaker 2: Your picture.
Speaker 12: Yeah, first date though, let's keep in mind.
Speaker 5: Maybe she just needs it as a reminder what.
Speaker 3: Your name is?
Speaker 2: Quick?
Speaker 8: That was super ugly?
Speaker 2: Yeah all right too, Leo, time to hit back.
Speaker 8: I met this smoke and hot lady who's a spinning instructor,
Speaker 8: and you know, spin instructors are always smoke shows and
Speaker 8: she invites me to her class. So I show up
Speaker 8: as she puts me in the front row, which is
Speaker 8: intimidating enough as it is. Yeah, and then five minutes
Speaker 8: in she comes over and sets my bike on the
Speaker 8: highest resistance and tells me if she sees me turn
Speaker 8: it down, it's over between hers.
Speaker 2: O man, challenge, Oh.
Speaker 5: My god, at what point in the class did you
Speaker 5: just pass out?
Speaker 8: I'm just standing up, trying to grind on this thing,
Speaker 8: and I point at the door to distractor and turn
Speaker 8: it down, and she caught me.
Speaker 3: You're two weeks for her.
Speaker 8: He called me out in front of everyone over the
Speaker 8: microphone and told me to get out.
Speaker 2: Why does everybody you date like come after you, Charlie.
Speaker 2: We're back to you got to step it up, man.
Speaker 12: So I was dropping this girl off after the day
Speaker 12: right thing with move. I'm leaving to go home. She
Speaker 12: calls me and she asked me to come inside. She says,
Speaker 12: you know, she's scared to be alone. So I'm like cool.
Speaker 12: I'm feeling like, you know, this is my chance, belly,
Speaker 12: you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: And you know, cute excuse on her part, Uh huh.
Speaker 12: I go back inside. When I get there, there's a
Speaker 12: man there whoa what.
Speaker 3: Wait, like her roommate or something.
Speaker 5: Please tell me.
Speaker 12: No, She sneaks and tells me she didn't know he
Speaker 12: was in there.
Speaker 13: It was her boyfriend.
Speaker 12: He got back home early from his trip.
Speaker 2: Oh what a jerk coming back home early. I hate
Speaker 2: that guy. Let's get to your third and final round.
Speaker 2: We need you to really throw down here, gentlemen. So
Speaker 2: seafood trio leo, what do you got?
Speaker 8: My tender day invited me to go furniture testing testing.
Speaker 8: I'm thinking she wants to check couches out or something,
Speaker 8: you know, Okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got to send on them before you buy it.
Speaker 3: You just never know.
Speaker 8: Maybe a little love seat or something. But no, no, no, no.
Speaker 8: We get to the store and I found out she
Speaker 8: meant baby furniture testing because she's eight months pregnant.
Speaker 5: Oh a that she has the energy for me for that.
Speaker 6: But yeah, she's like, I'm so glad you hear my
Speaker 6: back hurts.
Speaker 8: It gets worse, it gets way worse. She's looking for
Speaker 8: a crib and asked if I could crawl into one
Speaker 8: to let her know if the baby would be comfortable.
Speaker 2: How big of a baby is she planning on having
Speaker 2: or how.
Speaker 3: Small can't ride a bike?
Speaker 5: Small to act like a baby, pretty bad.
Speaker 2: Harley, Jarley was your last chance boy.
Speaker 12: We was in that one of those outdoor restaurants, you know,
Speaker 12: you sit outside and just relaxed. It was a beautiful
Speaker 12: day I'm talking about. It was just perfect. She was beautiful,
Speaker 12: the date was cool, everything was strolling. A bird pooped
Speaker 12: on my date's heads.
Speaker 2: Sounded good luck.
Speaker 5: Though, Yeah, people just say that to make you feel better.
Speaker 7: What she do?
Speaker 12: So she seemed upset at first, right, and I told her,
Speaker 12: you know, like we could just we could just leave,
Speaker 12: you know, and just end it off. But she told
Speaker 12: me that her therapist encouraged her to start to face adversity,
Speaker 12: you know, and be tough and deal with things. Okay, okay,
Speaker 12: So we sat there for another half hour. She tried
Speaker 12: to eat, but she was crying, not coming at age
Speaker 12: with the bird poop still on the hey, oh she didn't.
Speaker 2: Clean it all.
Speaker 11: All right?
Speaker 2: That final blemons, The match is over. This was an
Speaker 2: intense one. Judges, we gotta score at Alexis.
Speaker 5: I gotta go Leo for crawling into baby Crab.
Speaker 2: We got wonder for Leo Brooke.
Speaker 3: I mean bird poop girl. I feel bad for her,
Speaker 3: but it's definitely Leo.
Speaker 2: Congratulations Seapoo trio, Leo, You're dating life is messier than
Speaker 2: a cafetiri. On Sloppy Joe.
Speaker 5: Day, I think he's crying nice to me bullied once again.
Speaker 2: That was battle of the tender dates. We got your
Speaker 2: phone tap coming up right after this, Brook and Jeffrey
Speaker 2: in the morning today, we call a guy who works
Speaker 2: for a big department store and he's been there for
Speaker 2: a long time, over two decades now, wow. And he's
Speaker 2: in charge of customer service. And now they've told me
Speaker 2: he's a very very kind, very professional person.
Speaker 3: Wow. So after two decades he still has that huh.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, they warned me, you need to give him
Speaker 2: a question that he's never heard before and doesn't have
Speaker 2: a clear solution. We tried to stump him. You'll see
Speaker 2: how he deals with it in your phone tap right now.
Speaker 2: Another on the twenties.
Speaker 7: She's the barber store of This is John. How can
Speaker 7: I help you?
Speaker 11: Hi?
Speaker 2: My name is Harold. I came in there a few
Speaker 2: weeks ago and bought a pair of pants in the
Speaker 2: pants area of the story. I know what to call it.
Speaker 7: Okay, you were in the men's department.
Speaker 2: Yeah, during one of your sales, and I got some
Speaker 2: pants and they're ruining my life.
Speaker 7: Oka are they're just not fitting correctly?
Speaker 2: No, you don't understand, sir.
Speaker 7: If your pants aren't working out for you, you know,
Speaker 7: obviously we have a tremendous return policy if you just
Speaker 7: bring those in with the receipt to assistance.
Speaker 2: You know, John, You're not hearing me, all right. I
Speaker 2: wear them all the time to work, to the gym,
Speaker 2: I wear them to bed. What I haven't showered in
Speaker 2: over two weeks because I haven't taken them off, not
Speaker 2: even once.
Speaker 7: So it sounds like to me you said that you're
Speaker 7: you're really in love with these pants and that the
Speaker 7: fit is exactly what you're looking for.
Speaker 2: And love is not a strong enough word for how
Speaker 2: I feel.
Speaker 3: For these pants.
Speaker 2: Wow, they have changed how I lived my life forever
Speaker 2: I will. I vow to die in these pants.
Speaker 7: Well, sir, doesn't sound like you have an issue with
Speaker 7: our pants. Are just calling to let us know how
Speaker 7: great they are.
Speaker 2: No, there is an issue, there is. What would that be?
Speaker 2: The problem is I got them thirty percent off and
Speaker 2: I would like to pay the full price.
Speaker 7: Sure, how you received a tremendous discount, and as far
Speaker 7: as price goes, I mean, that's something you should be
Speaker 7: proud of.
Speaker 2: No, No, I insist please that I pay the full
Speaker 2: retail price. I refuse to be a cheapo like my
Speaker 2: father was.
Speaker 7: Sure, I understand your strong feelings about these pants, but
Speaker 7: payful price is not really necessary.
Speaker 2: No, you don't understand. If you've heard what I said before,
Speaker 2: I feel like I've taken advantage of the company, and
Speaker 2: I just the guilt. It's overwhelming. I have to live
Speaker 2: with this every day, knowing that I didn't pay full price.
Speaker 7: Sure again, the price you paid was was a fair price?
Speaker 2: You realize. Ever since I started wearing these pants, my
Speaker 2: wife doesn't think I'm such a loser anymore.
Speaker 7: Sure, I do need to ask you quick question here. Yeah,
Speaker 7: are you okay? Are you feeling all right? I feel anything?
Speaker 7: Are you on any medications right now?
Speaker 2: I feel amazing because of the pants, but I also
Speaker 2: feel horrible because of the pants.
Speaker 7: This is a weird situation, Sarah.
Speaker 2: Here's the deal. I already know exactly how much extra
Speaker 2: I need to pay. I still have the receipt framed
Speaker 2: up in my study. Wow, So just tell me where
Speaker 2: do I need to send them money to make things right?
Speaker 7: We really don't have a process for that. No, but
Speaker 7: I think you should just take the savings and come
Speaker 7: back in and buy something else.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you probably like that. I'm going to get
Speaker 2: a new pair of socks that I love so much.
Speaker 2: I have them on for the next three years. Now
Speaker 2: I'm feeling guilty about the law.
Speaker 7: Are in a commissioned business.
Speaker 2: I don't think you're a communist business at all. I
Speaker 2: love your business.
Speaker 7: That's not what I meant. I'm just trying to assist me.
Speaker 2: All I'm trying to do is honor these clothes and
Speaker 2: pay what they're worth in full, and maybe do a
Speaker 2: little prank call while I'm at it. Why won't you
Speaker 2: let me do those things?
Speaker 8: I knew it.
Speaker 2: I knew this was a joke because my real name
Speaker 2: is jeff from brook and Jeffrey in the morning and
Speaker 2: this is a phone tap. Man, you're on the radio.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I gotta say you were more than
Speaker 2: helpful in what was ultimately an impossible situation.
Speaker 7: Well, you know what, To be honest, this is the
Speaker 7: highlight of my day. So thank you.
Speaker 2: Well, really, you should thank your coworker Sadie, because she's
Speaker 2: the one who set you up. She said it was
Speaker 2: a little bit slow at the store and she wanted
Speaker 2: to make you laugh today.
Speaker 7: Well, Sadie owes me lunch now, so again, thank you.
Speaker 7: That's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if it makes you feel any better, I'm
Speaker 2: actually not wearing any pants.
Speaker 7: So if you're not wearing pants, then come on down
Speaker 7: because we're having a sale right now. But I don't
Speaker 7: know how you're gonna feel after.
Speaker 6: No, don't put me through the shame.
Speaker 11: Week up. Every morning was food Tap weekday mornings on
Speaker 11: the Twenties Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 2: It's crazy how life works. One day you're just a
Speaker 2: regular guy calling a morning radio show for help with
Speaker 2: your dating life, okay, and then the next you walk
Speaker 2: in the red carpet in La with one of the
Speaker 2: Olsen twins.
Speaker 5: You, dude, they're adult.
Speaker 2: With the adult version of yeah, because because you're a
Speaker 2: world famous superstar. At least that's the goal for one
Speaker 2: of our listeners, who says he was vulnerable during his
Speaker 2: first date and shared his ultimate dream job, and then
Speaker 2: shortly after that, the entire evening started going downhill. You're
Speaker 2: gonna understand why when you hear your brand new second
Speaker 2: date update right after this second date update. Once in
Speaker 2: a while, we like to ask our listeners to read
Speaker 2: the Tinder bios of the person that they're interested in,
Speaker 2: but this time they got ahead of it and just
Speaker 2: sent it directly to us. Oh okay, because one of
Speaker 2: our listeners, James, met a woman online with these things
Speaker 2: written on her profile. It's said love cats and the
Speaker 2: color purple, the actual color, not the movie.
Speaker 3: The movie's amazing. How did you not love the movie?
Speaker 2: Doesn't see its harsh? Ready to get my heart broken again?
Speaker 2: She said. I mean, that's not the goal, but it's
Speaker 2: the likely outcome.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, more than a little very jaded realistic.
Speaker 2: She says, if you let me spend the night, I'll
Speaker 2: stay in your closet and never leave. That's funny if
Speaker 2: you read that on a profile. If you let me
Speaker 2: spend the night, I'll stay in your closet, never leave.
Speaker 2: How are you swiping? I'm right, just regardless. I didn't
Speaker 2: think it was left, left or right, just like go
Speaker 2: straight up on that sweat. James, our listener, read that,
Speaker 2: and apparently he was immediately hooked.
Speaker 8: So James.
Speaker 2: What does that sentence mean to you? Let me spend
Speaker 2: the night, I'll stay in your closet and never leave.
Speaker 13: It means there's a possibility I might be getting some action.
Speaker 2: Yeah all right, I thought.
Speaker 3: You were just hoping. So when he would hang up
Speaker 3: your clothes in your closet.
Speaker 2: Closet, you're the type of guy that either ignores red
Speaker 2: flags or just doesn't see them at all in the
Speaker 2: first place.
Speaker 13: Run towards them many Yeah, I see a project.
Speaker 2: So what's the name of this project that you met?
Speaker 13: Her name is Whitney.
Speaker 3: Whitney.
Speaker 5: Okay, are you? I mean it sounds just I know
Speaker 5: you're joking with us, but were you looking for just
Speaker 5: a hookup or are you looking for something more serious?
Speaker 13: So I think the old me is looking up for
Speaker 13: the hookup, but the new me, who's like getting older
Speaker 13: and stuff, I'm thinking more long term.
Speaker 2: Now, okay, so the new you is the one who
Speaker 2: reached out to her online. Yeah, okay, what did new
Speaker 2: you say?
Speaker 13: I joked around with her and was like, Hey, I
Speaker 13: cleaned out my closet for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's funny, yeah for her joke?
Speaker 13: Yeah, yeah, literally literally, I thought it was funny and
Speaker 13: she laughed, and we just started chatting.
Speaker 2: All right, all right, so did you meet up for
Speaker 2: a date?
Speaker 13: Yeah? Yeah, we met up at this local bar. She
Speaker 13: was familiar with it. I go there every now and then.
Speaker 5: So oh wow, So you guys could have been there
Speaker 5: at the same time. I always think that's so crazy,
Speaker 5: you know, like you meet a line, but you could
Speaker 5: have easily.
Speaker 3: Met in person at some point.
Speaker 8: Right, what was it like when you.
Speaker 14: First saw you know, it was happy hour.
Speaker 13: I was like, not feeling cheap, but like she was
Speaker 13: totally down to drink. She wasn't like snooty about drinking beer,
Speaker 13: which was awesome.
Speaker 5: It sounds like you're like an old frat guy who
Speaker 5: wanted to challenge her to a contest she's an alcoholic
Speaker 5: and she's not.
Speaker 13: Yeah, She's like yeah.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you've had a bad running with girls
Speaker 2: who were kind of snooty about their beers.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 13: Yeah, you know some of them they want their Martiniz
Speaker 13: with a twist and some nineteen forty two And I'm like,
Speaker 13: come on, man, I don't want to.
Speaker 2: Take a loan now, okay.
Speaker 13: I like, yeah, right, let's just go with the well
Speaker 13: drinks today.
Speaker 2: See low maintenance you like that exactly?
Speaker 5: Keep it low, Okay, how is your time together?
Speaker 13: You know, we talked about our goals and dreams, and
Speaker 13: I told her about me wanting to be a Hollywood
Speaker 13: actor because that's kind of been a dream of mine.
Speaker 5: Oh what are you doing to make that happen?
Speaker 13: Well, I've been taking a lot of classes stuff with
Speaker 13: casting directors and people like that.
Speaker 5: Was she excited about this real or was it like,
Speaker 5: oh god, this is a guy who's never gonna have
Speaker 5: a job.
Speaker 2: Well, it's kind of judgy broke.
Speaker 5: That's how my parents felt when I went to art school.
Speaker 2: So I'm not like, you know, exactly react.
Speaker 13: Yeah, she's like kind of a realist in a sense
Speaker 13: where she's like, gave you that me that look when
Speaker 13: I mentioned that, or I could tell in her eyes
Speaker 13: or it was like okay, buddy, you know, what are
Speaker 13: you really going to do with your.
Speaker 2: Life kind of stuff.
Speaker 13: But you know, I'm serious about this and I believe
Speaker 13: in it.
Speaker 3: So that's cool. That's cool. And you were okay with
Speaker 3: her reaction? You I didn't.
Speaker 13: I was okay with it because I don't expect anyone
Speaker 13: to if you tell them you're going to be an actor,
Speaker 13: that they're going to go, oh yeah, that's a great idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you said what your dream was. Did she ever
Speaker 2: tell you what her dream job was?
Speaker 13: Well, I know she said something about like she was
Speaker 13: already an executive chef.
Speaker 3: Oh cool.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, she'd be like a vet or something because
Speaker 5: of her love cats.
Speaker 3: But that's amazing.
Speaker 6: No, it's probably a lot of it.
Speaker 7: Right.
Speaker 13: So she basically was like saying, she's like living her
Speaker 13: dream already.
Speaker 2: Did you give her the same, like, well, you know
Speaker 2: it's not all that great, but.
Speaker 6: On restaurant.
Speaker 13: No, I'm trying to be supportive.
Speaker 3: You guys got.
Speaker 5: Into some deep conversation, no doubt.
Speaker 2: How did it end?
Speaker 13: It went well. I mean we had a few more drinks, so,
Speaker 13: you know, got a little more friendlier. We kind of
Speaker 13: held hands and just like, oh, shoot, this is like
Speaker 13: almost first base or something.
Speaker 2: Almost not the body part that I usually get excited
Speaker 2: about touching. But that's okay.
Speaker 13: But yeah, so she came over to my place and yeah,
Speaker 13: I was kind of trying to be funny, so I
Speaker 13: pushed her in the closet and I was like, you're
Speaker 13: staying here forever, so subtle in Oh no, she didn't remember,
Speaker 13: and she looked a little frightened.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't remember the joke.
Speaker 5: Anytime you say I pushed her, it's never like.
Speaker 3: Let's do that.
Speaker 13: It was a light nudge, you know, but leave after that?
Speaker 14: She stay, She actually left, but it didn't end bad,
Speaker 14: Like we ended up talking and texting, but she only
Speaker 14: text me back once.
Speaker 3: So the joke a little too far.
Speaker 6: Well, there was another girl already in your closet and
Speaker 6: then she's.
Speaker 13: No, no, my closets cleaned out.
Speaker 11: Man.
Speaker 2: Just like in any Hollywood movie, you have to have
Speaker 2: that low point in the movie before you can have
Speaker 2: the comeback at the climax for the climax. Yeah, he
Speaker 2: takes the class.
Speaker 6: Are we going to be the climax for him?
Speaker 15: Yeah?
Speaker 2: We're going to try and make the climax happen right
Speaker 2: here on the second date. Right, all right, we're gonna
Speaker 2: do it right after this. Hold on, Can you believe
Speaker 2: we may be talking to the future Tom Hanks right now?
Speaker 12: Wow?
Speaker 6: I don't think of that.
Speaker 2: What a career or if he's lucky the future Polly Shore,
Speaker 2: google that name, the joke will be funny.
Speaker 7: On your.
Speaker 2: Yeah, his name is James and his big dream is
Speaker 2: to move to Hollywood one day to become an actor,
Speaker 2: and that topic actually came up during his date the
Speaker 2: other night with Whitney turned out to be good enough
Speaker 2: to get her back to his place, but not quite
Speaker 2: good enough to have her stay the entire night.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I think his timing is off, which may
Speaker 5: be something that he needs to work on if he
Speaker 5: wants to be an actor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because that joke was definitely not received.
Speaker 5: Wealthy you think, yeah.
Speaker 2: You think he has a problem with the timing.
Speaker 3: Well, when he.
Speaker 5: Pushed her into the closet, it wasn't a good look.
Speaker 2: Well, let's hold on because for people just tuning in
Speaker 2: that might sound a little bit weird, there is some
Speaker 2: context to it. She had a joke on her dating
Speaker 2: bio that said, if you let me stay the night,
Speaker 2: I'll move into your closet forever.
Speaker 5: But she happened to forget that when she got shoved
Speaker 5: in the class. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit of an awkward moment. But we're
Speaker 2: hoping to get things back on track when we call
Speaker 2: her right now, So, James, any final thoughts.
Speaker 13: Life's like a box of chocolates.
Speaker 2: You're delivery man to work.
Speaker 5: That's right, That's why you're in the classes expect you
Speaker 5: to be famous right now.
Speaker 2: All right, you keep practicing those lines and we'll talk
Speaker 2: to Whitney for you, but we'll call you in when
Speaker 2: we feel like it's time for you.
Speaker 13: K you got it.
Speaker 2: Here we go. Hello, Hey, we're looking for Whitney. Sorry
Speaker 2: I said weird, because you're actually talking to an entire
Speaker 2: morning show called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. There's
Speaker 2: a Lexus, there's Brooke, Jose and the star Jeffrey, Big
Speaker 2: Shooting Star.
Speaker 16: What is this about, I'm Americans.
Speaker 2: Well, this is something called a second date update, and
Speaker 2: we're trying to pry into your dating life a little
Speaker 2: bit to ask about a guy you went out with
Speaker 2: the other day named James.
Speaker 16: Okay, how do you know about that?
Speaker 2: Well, we know because we read the email that James
Speaker 2: sent us telling us about your date and how you
Speaker 2: guys met, which may sound weird.
Speaker 5: He's just trying to get help, like he really liked
Speaker 5: you and wants to see you again.
Speaker 16: Well, if he told you all about our date, I'm
Speaker 16: assuming he explained what had happened on the date, right.
Speaker 2: Well, here's a snapshot of what happened. He said, you
Speaker 2: guys met online, you went out to a bar, shared
Speaker 2: a lot about your personal lives there and then hopes.
Speaker 5: And dreams, and he said it was a really good conversation.
Speaker 2: And then you ended up back over at his place
Speaker 2: and he did mention making kind of a bad joke
Speaker 2: or a joke that you didn't quite understand at first
Speaker 2: about you living in his closet.
Speaker 3: He said he.
Speaker 5: Pushed you in there and that you didn't understand the
Speaker 5: context that did happen.
Speaker 16: That was weird, But believe it or not, that's not
Speaker 16: even the reason why like call him back. Oh really, okay,
Speaker 16: let me start everything. I thought he was charming. Okay,
Speaker 16: we had a nice time. I mean I wouldn't have
Speaker 16: gone back to his place if I didn't think that
Speaker 16: he was charming.
Speaker 2: Well brook Wood, So that does something to just not
Speaker 2: go back. Just kidding, Okay, the vibes were good before
Speaker 2: you got back to his place, Yes, and even.
Speaker 16: When we got back to his place, you know, we
Speaker 16: were flirting and everything. We had other drink and he
Speaker 16: told you that he wants to be an actor.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Yeah, so we.
Speaker 16: Decided that we wanted to act out a scene from
Speaker 16: a movie.
Speaker 17: You can download him certain Oh that's funny.
Speaker 2: A great idea for a date night, so qu if
Speaker 2: you're drunk. He didn't mention any of that to us
Speaker 2: that you guys read through a script. What did you
Speaker 2: guys do?
Speaker 16: Yeah, well we signed that forty year old virgin?
Speaker 3: Who did you play?
Speaker 16: I played the main girl part in it?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 2: Okay, he played probably Steve.
Speaker 3: The virgin?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, was it funny?
Speaker 11: Uh?
Speaker 16: Okay. I don't want to be mean, but he's not good.
Speaker 3: He's not good.
Speaker 5: So he just said at all like he's awful.
Speaker 16: Actually, oh no, not awful, awful.
Speaker 13: Too strong.
Speaker 16: I don't want to say that. I could see it
Speaker 16: as like a supporting character, but he doesn't have like
Speaker 16: the main man.
Speaker 2: You know, well, hold on, I'm an extra to be fair, like,
Speaker 2: not only were the two of you drinking a lot
Speaker 2: that night, but your job is an executive chef from
Speaker 2: what we heard, Like, what would you know? Yeah, like
Speaker 2: what's your expertise in acting?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 13: Well do you know about acting?
Speaker 2: Was not gonna go well attitude there that Whitney, that's James.
Speaker 2: He's been on the other line.
Speaker 16: Sorry, Whitney, he's on the phone right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how them.
Speaker 5: We let him know that he went here's something he
Speaker 5: doesn't like.
Speaker 2: But you can talk to him.
Speaker 13: James, yew meow.
Speaker 3: That's how you're coming?
Speaker 2: Is Is that a line from the movie that was
Speaker 2: My Cat, My Cat?
Speaker 13: Remember from the other night you like cats? Never mind the.
Speaker 16: Time you literally set me up on the radio to
Speaker 16: like hear me talk about you.
Speaker 11: What.
Speaker 13: No, I'm just I was just needing some help because
Speaker 13: you weren't responding to my text you text me back
Speaker 13: one time, so I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 16: Okay, I guess, but like, well then you obviously heard
Speaker 16: what I said. So there's your answer. Like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 16: I'm really not trying to be rude, but right now
Speaker 16: I can't support you in your endeavors the way I
Speaker 16: think you.
Speaker 12: Want me to.
Speaker 13: You don't think I'm a good actor.
Speaker 7: Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 13: Because we read a forty year old Virgin script, did
Speaker 13: you not.
Speaker 2: Believe his performance enough? Like he didn't believe he was
Speaker 2: really a virgin in that moment.
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe he's just too sexy and that's why he
Speaker 5: can't pull off virgin. You know, have you ever thought
Speaker 5: about that, Whitney?
Speaker 16: I mean, it was just kind of the way. Have
Speaker 16: you guys ever seen Friends, the TV show Friends. Yeah,
Speaker 16: you know Joey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it kind of.
Speaker 16: Had that vibe, just like I'm trying to fake hard.
Speaker 17: I can't deliver my lines.
Speaker 16: I'm reading them instead of acting them.
Speaker 6: Oh, Joey was such a good actor. He was an
Speaker 6: actor playing a bad actor.
Speaker 2: I don't think calling him Joey from Friends was as
Speaker 2: much of a diss as you thought it was.
Speaker 16: I'm not trying to like this, mand I. Like I said,
Speaker 16: I'm telling you, like I can think you should keep
Speaker 16: taking your classes, but right now, I think you should
Speaker 16: stick to those like single person shows on YouTube and
Speaker 16: see if you get like a light or followers, you know,
Speaker 16: maybe go from there.
Speaker 8: Look, I've had enough for this.
Speaker 13: I bet you're not even a good chef. You probably
Speaker 13: burn water.
Speaker 17: Oh actually no, I have plenty of reviews that say otherwise,
Speaker 17: I'm not fantastic stuff, and I actually have proof that
Speaker 17: I can prove.
Speaker 16: What are you gonna do? How do you have an
Speaker 16: Academy awards?
Speaker 13: Yeah, I don't want to know about all those yellows
Speaker 13: you paid to give you three stars on your enough flaming.
Speaker 3: This is getting petty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm enjoying it.
Speaker 13: Okay, Yeah, if you like cat hair in your top ramen.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 16: A twelve year old like, oh you remember you're glue
Speaker 16: Like Listen, I explained to you what my thoughts were,
Speaker 16: and if you can't even sure about it, I don't
Speaker 16: know what.
Speaker 12: To tell you.
Speaker 3: It's not her fault. She didn't even know you were listening.
Speaker 16: You know, it's not like And honestly, I probably did
Speaker 16: you a favor, like you're gonna get told no a lot,
Speaker 16: trust me, So it's probably good that I didn't at first,
Speaker 16: before you get into this profession so deeply that you're
Speaker 16: probably never going to make it.
Speaker 11: In No, she.
Speaker 2: Does have a point. My parents told me I was
Speaker 2: never going to make it as a radio host, and
Speaker 2: I'm glad that they told me that early so that
Speaker 2: when this fails, I'm not going to be as devastated.
Speaker 2: But well, Jeff, not according to my parents.
Speaker 13: Okay, well look, you might not think my acting is good,
Speaker 13: but I think you're cooking is horrible.
Speaker 5: You've never had cooking instam post.
Speaker 3: Okay, you're just puppy Listen. I mean, she does have
Speaker 3: a good point.
Speaker 5: You need to have a little bit thicker skin if
Speaker 5: you're going to try to get into the acting business.
Speaker 13: Yeah, well, you're gonna have to have thicker skin if
Speaker 13: you're gonna want to get into my closet.
Speaker 2: Don't even think we're gonna offer you can just read
Speaker 2: the vibe in this room.
Speaker 13: No, I want to go on another day with her.
Speaker 13: I'm gonna I want to reread a different script and
Speaker 13: I want to prove to you, Whitney, that I'm a
Speaker 13: good actor.
Speaker 11: Oh.
Speaker 5: I would almost want to take him up on.
Speaker 3: That if I Whitney and with a kissing scene, you know,
Speaker 3: I don't think they're there. It's going to be a
Speaker 3: fighting scene.
Speaker 13: Mattress, Little Mattress Marathon at the end, you know what
Speaker 13: I mean.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I was in.
Speaker 18: That movie, Mattress Marathon.
Speaker 6: It's a short of a movie.
Speaker 3: He's just the weird extra in the back.
Speaker 2: James, I'm gonna see you in Hollywood, buddy. We'll walk
Speaker 2: the red carpet together. Yeah you are, Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 2: A few years ago, you might remember, Burger King made
Speaker 2: national news and grossed out more than a few of
Speaker 2: their loyal customers by coming out with the black bund
Speaker 2: Whopper for Halloween. Here's a picture of it. The grossest part.
Speaker 2: Wasn't that the bun like tasted any different. It's that
Speaker 2: once the food passed through your system, it turned everything green.
Speaker 3: I don't think that was actually planned.
Speaker 5: Was it like that was just a fun buy the
Speaker 5: by product if they didn't realize was gonna happen.
Speaker 2: So that's why I'm extra worried for their latest promotion.
Speaker 2: Right around the corner May fifteenth, because the premiere of
Speaker 2: The New Spider Man. Across the Spider Verse, Burger King
Speaker 2: is launching a new red whopper. Yes, oh no, red bun.
Speaker 5: We are so excited for this movie and my family, But.
Speaker 4: Can you imagine going to the bathroom and some kids like, mommy,
Speaker 4: it's red everywhere.
Speaker 5: It's just like beats after eat, beats you after I
Speaker 5: remind yourself what I have for dinner last night.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, I'm not dying.
Speaker 2: It's fine. The movie doesn't officially get released till June second,
Speaker 2: but the Spiderberger is supposed to help hype it up.
Speaker 2: It's awesome, Burger King said. Fans of The Web Slinger
Speaker 2: can also customize their spiders Sundays with ice cream topped
Speaker 2: with black and red chocolate candies.
Speaker 3: No, that's really cool.
Speaker 2: I got an idea.
Speaker 4: Why don't they do the black top and a red
Speaker 4: bottom for the burger like Spider Man's black and red blue.
Speaker 5: Or why don't they just cover it in actual spider webs.
Speaker 3: Spider hire you to work there.
Speaker 8: I like.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be available for a little over a month,
Speaker 2: and then, just like Spider Man, it's gonna be gone.
Speaker 5: I love that the skinniest of all the superheroes is
Speaker 5: eating burgers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be him, wouldn't it.
Speaker 6: I wonder if there's a burger verse.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited for that movie.
Speaker 2: Laser Stories is coming up next time. It's the radio
Speaker 2: segment that's getting his mom a special edible arrangement for
Speaker 2: Mother's Day.
Speaker 3: Oh happy mom.
Speaker 2: It's filled with fruits and chocolate, and he's pre licked
Speaker 2: everyone to make sure they're not poisoned. Yeah, mother's Day, Mom,
Speaker 2: You've got a carrying, very paranoid son.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Stories the segment where we read weird news stories around
Speaker 2: the globe, just like everyone else does, except we have
Speaker 2: a laser and those other liquor trickers just don't. This
Speaker 2: first Laser story is out of Nashville. Recently, a man
Speaker 2: checked into a local hotel and realized his TV wasn't
Speaker 2: working so well. Okay, so he called the manager, fifty
Speaker 2: two year old David Neil, who came up to take
Speaker 2: a look. After ten minutes, David got it working again,
Speaker 2: left the room and told the man to have a
Speaker 2: good night. Oh yeah, I don't.
Speaker 5: Know why this would be in the news, Jeffy, sounds
Speaker 5: like a lovely interaction.
Speaker 2: Here's the well. Fast forward to five am. The man
Speaker 2: from the hotel room ran into David again. Yeah, this
Speaker 2: time waking up to see David at the foot of
Speaker 2: his bed sucking on his toes.
Speaker 18: Our boundaries, the guy, said, David, and soon after called police.
Speaker 3: Soon not immediately, He's.
Speaker 6: Like, all right, once you finished the little.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeh, this little piggy.
Speaker 2: He told officers that he recognized David as an employee,
Speaker 2: and for the record, David denies doing any footstuff. He
Speaker 2: does admit to entering the room, but he claims he
Speaker 2: did that because he allegedly smelled smoke and wanted to
Speaker 2: check on the guests.
Speaker 3: Yeah is this what smoking?
Speaker 7: You know?
Speaker 3: Not what smell smoker?
Speaker 6: Your feed Oah.
Speaker 2: As believable as that sounds. Yeah, he never reported the
Speaker 2: smoke smell to security, and no one else at the
Speaker 2: hotel smelled any smoke either. Yeah, kind of.
Speaker 3: Sketchy and he's just extra sensitive.
Speaker 2: David's being held on twenty seven thousand dollars bond.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, Jeffery's book in his hotel room.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a month long stay for me?
Speaker 6: Can I request a staff member to be present.
Speaker 2: A local reporter covering the story said, quote, if you
Speaker 2: go to a fancy hotel SPA, you could spend hundreds
Speaker 2: getting a decent massage, and if you go to the
Speaker 2: Hilton in downtown Nashville you can get one for free.
Speaker 2: We don't want to have a spot, say the stories
Speaker 2: out of Miami. The recent Grand Prix brought the glitz
Speaker 2: and glamour of Formula one to Florida, And if you
Speaker 2: were lucky enough to score a ticket for hundreds to
Speaker 2: even thousands of dollars, hope you also cracked into your
Speaker 2: life savings in order to eat lunch.
Speaker 11: What hell? Really?
Speaker 2: I say that because the big story is the food,
Speaker 2: not the racing event. The menu from the hard Rock
Speaker 2: Beach Club is the craziest one, and the items there
Speaker 2: include a two hundred and fifty dollars watermelon and tomatillo salad,
Speaker 2: Get out of here. Four hundred and fifty dollars. Main
Speaker 2: lobster rolls, Oh my god, five hundred dollars U five
Speaker 2: chilled prons show brons?
Speaker 6: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 5: Here at Florida?
Speaker 3: Why are you ordering Maine lobster?
Speaker 5: I get of therons, make a little bit more send.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a regular sized fruit salad would cost two hundred
Speaker 2: and ninety five dollars, and.
Speaker 3: You know it's all candle open honey dew. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: know you always get screwed on a fruit salad with
Speaker 3: those filler fruits like.
Speaker 11: What you yet?
Speaker 2: And nachos for two hundred and seventy five bucks here.
Speaker 3: Please can tell me they're the fake cheese ones too.
Speaker 6: You can bind doritos and craft singles and make our own.
Speaker 2: The drinks are just as wild. A bottle of Tito's
Speaker 2: vodka was five hundred and sixty dollars.
Speaker 5: No wonder, I only saw pictures of like Tom Cruise
Speaker 5: and Shakira there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, normally that would retail for around twenty bucks. So seriously,
Speaker 2: of course these prices were found in the box seat
Speaker 2: area that is inaccessible to the poors. Yeah, only the
Speaker 2: rich people However, prices were just as crazy for the
Speaker 2: regular person too. A forty two dollars wagyu steak sandwich
Speaker 2: is going viral on Twitter right now. It's got fire
Speaker 2: festival vibes because it looked like one slice of deli hand.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's no condiments, that's wag you we promise it's Yeah,
Speaker 5: here's a mustard.
Speaker 2: Back race organizers response, we pride ourselves on delivering the
Speaker 2: very best food and beverages from the South Florida.
Speaker 5: Reach right, come on, that actually may be the best
Speaker 5: in the South Florida region.
Speaker 6: And back to Brook, the main lobster not from the
Speaker 6: South Florida.
Speaker 2: This next Laser stories out of celeb News scoop h
Speaker 2: give us the tea work on Britney Spears's autobiography.
Speaker 5: Has I've read about this and it is tea.
Speaker 2: The reason why apparently her famous friends are worried about
Speaker 2: what might be in it.
Speaker 3: Yes, because you want to read them more.
Speaker 5: I mean, that's what Britney's all about right now, is
Speaker 5: like just no, just truth. She is just letting it
Speaker 5: all out there. She's letting it all out there about
Speaker 5: her family, and she has taken down anybody who's ever
Speaker 5: crossed from Yeah.
Speaker 6: Now here's my thing though, do we believe her? Of course, she'sthing.
Speaker 5: Access she has and like that's the thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, continue, Jeffrey. I could go on about this for
Speaker 3: an hour.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: The source says, quote, strongly worded legal letters have been
Speaker 2: sent to the publishers by people who know Brittany and
Speaker 2: who fear what she's written. Yes, the source ads quote,
Speaker 2: Brittany is brutally honest in the book, and so there's
Speaker 2: a lot of nervous A listers out there.
Speaker 5: I even heard that there's two that she reveals that
Speaker 5: she had an affair with and that they don't want
Speaker 5: it out there.
Speaker 3: I don't know who it is.
Speaker 2: I would imagine some of the nervous A listers have
Speaker 2: to include the last name Spears, and another might have
Speaker 2: the initials JT on them.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Oh, he already knows.
Speaker 3: He's all over that book.
Speaker 8: You know.
Speaker 2: I'm sure he's going to pre apologize regards the last one.
Speaker 2: Anyone heard the book was supposed to come out in
Speaker 2: the fall. No word on if that's still going to happen.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, just put it up right now.
Speaker 6: New York Times best Seller.
Speaker 3: We're getting the book Jeffrey Jes.
Speaker 5: You know we're starting a book club just for the
Speaker 5: Britney autobiography.
Speaker 6: Yeah, text seventy five mint two. You want a part
Speaker 6: of our Britney brook club.
Speaker 2: This next leg the story is out of cell phone Central.
Speaker 2: Most people agree this is something you should not do,
Speaker 2: and yet it turns out most of us have done it.
Speaker 2: Eighty two percent of adults say they've snooped through someone
Speaker 2: else's phone before what we've never done it. Women were
Speaker 2: even more likely to say that they've done it eighty
Speaker 2: eight percent, compared to just seventy seven percent of men.
Speaker 3: The guys never give me their passwords. I try to,
Speaker 3: like crack it. It's always their birthday. They're not very good.
Speaker 5: It's either their birthday or their sports jersey from high school.
Speaker 2: General curiosity and suspicion of wrongdoing where the top two
Speaker 2: reasons people say they snoop, and a lot of those
Speaker 2: searches are fruitful. Fifty three percent of snoopers say they
Speaker 2: found something incriminating before they do.
Speaker 6: Say that right, well, like something's going on most of
Speaker 6: the time.
Speaker 2: It's true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, trust your gut in that one.
Speaker 2: Here's a few more snooping stats. The top two people
Speaker 2: we've snooped on are significant others in access of course,
Speaker 2: no surprise there. Nine percent have also looked through their kids' phones.
Speaker 5: Oh, when my kid gets one, when they're twenty two, I'm.
Speaker 3: Totally looking for I wouldn't you mean they're going to
Speaker 3: be so darky?
Speaker 2: Eight percent of snoop through a friend's phone for parents
Speaker 2: and siblings, that's seven percent each. And three percent of
Speaker 2: us have looked through a coworker's device. WHOA, I said,
Speaker 2: coworker got awfully quiet in the room.
Speaker 6: Might Alexis look through all of our phones.
Speaker 3: I don't want to know what's on, Brooks.
Speaker 6: I don't want to.
Speaker 3: I'll teach you to have fun.
Speaker 5: That's over the gallery, Alexis right.
Speaker 2: Now, Okay. The most concerning things that we found are
Speaker 2: flirtatious texts, proof of cheating, and evidence that they've been lying,
Speaker 2: just in general. And finally, when we do actually snoop,
Speaker 2: we usually get away with it. Any One percent of
Speaker 2: snoopers say that they've never been caught.
Speaker 3: That's a lot.
Speaker 2: I know this guy has never been busted because he's
Speaker 2: always on his shell phone.
Speaker 5: Shell phone can put it down.
Speaker 2: Like that means the stories is over to the day.
Speaker 2: We'll come back do it again the same time on Friday.
Speaker 11: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 15: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to wind Brooks Bucks, where we've
Speaker 15: got a new player. Aller it's Patrick from Tacoma, otherwise
Speaker 15: known as Pee Daddy.
Speaker 2: Daddy's on the line. He works in marketing, ladies, but
Speaker 2: he's currently trying to improve himself by getting his teaching
Speaker 2: degree in elementary education.
Speaker 3: Teachers.
Speaker 15: Patrick, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 3: I gotta say, why did I enjoy that so much?
Speaker 5: Jeffrey, I really I was into it just cornball. Yeah,
Speaker 5: sure's daddy, all right?
Speaker 3: Are you hoping to teach someday?
Speaker 7: I'm probably like third to five.
Speaker 16: I love that.
Speaker 5: I'm my daughter's in third grader right now, and it's
Speaker 5: so awesome because they're right at that stage where they're
Speaker 5: becoming really.
Speaker 3: Jrky and they but they have no self awareness. It's
Speaker 3: the best part.
Speaker 6: Welcome to classners, Reggie.
Speaker 5: That's all right, they're all in classroom now, they won't
Speaker 5: hear me.
Speaker 2: All right, we're gonna send the bully out of the room.
Speaker 2: And while that happens, Patrick, you know the game is played.
Speaker 2: You got thirty seconds. Answer as many questions as possible.
Speaker 2: If you don't know when, you can say pass. But
Speaker 2: you have to beat Brooke outright to win. Are you ready?
Speaker 11: Yes?
Speaker 2: All right, let's showcase that elementary school education. Your time
Speaker 2: starts now. Irish singer Paul Houston celebrates a birthday today.
Speaker 2: He's better known by what one name? With average speeds
Speaker 2: of over seven hundred miles per hour. What's the windiest
Speaker 2: planet in our solar system?
Speaker 7: Saturn?
Speaker 2: What famous Andrew Lloyd Weber musical ran on Broadway from
Speaker 2: nineteen eighty two to two thousand. A land ship was
Speaker 2: the original name for what military vehicle? Say it again?
Speaker 7: Air cracker, air crocker, aircraft carrier.
Speaker 2: All right, good work there, Patrick. We're gonna bring Brooke
Speaker 2: back into the studio. And I'm guessing you've been listening
Speaker 2: to our show for a little bit, even if you
Speaker 2: are a new player. Do you have a favorite segment?
Speaker 7: Second Ate updates so funny?
Speaker 11: Nice? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Are you single? No's taken?
Speaker 2: He's like pee father.
Speaker 3: Now do you like your significant other?
Speaker 2: That's a good question? Yes, okay, all right, we're giving him.
Speaker 3: To make sure.
Speaker 2: Do you follow us on social media? Patrick?
Speaker 12: I don't.
Speaker 7: I just listen to you guys where I'm at work
Speaker 7: and on the way, I.
Speaker 2: Am deduct one. But we'll give you a chance to
Speaker 2: go on and do it right now. We'll give you
Speaker 2: that point back Brook. It's your turn. You're ready, Yep,
Speaker 2: your time starts now. Irish singer Paul Houston celebrates a
Speaker 2: birthday today. He's better known by what one name Bono
Speaker 2: with average speeds of over seven hundred oles per hour?
Speaker 2: What is the windiest planet in our solar system?
Speaker 11: Your right? What?
Speaker 2: Famous Andrew Lloyd Weber musical ran on Broadway from nineteen
Speaker 2: eighty two to two thousand.
Speaker 3: Phantom of the Opera A land ship.
Speaker 2: Was the original name for what military.
Speaker 3: Vehicle aircraft carrier?
Speaker 2: What fast food restaurant is known as my dang laud
Speaker 2: in China. McDonald's got our answers in. We're gonna go
Speaker 2: on over to the scoreboard to see how you all.
Speaker 8: Did with I'm not a virgin entirely my choice, that's.
Speaker 6: For sure, but I am a virgin. Patrick, you got zero.
Speaker 3: You're not teaching yet. The kids won't make you yet.
Speaker 6: Yeah, gets the wind with two?
Speaker 3: A world dumb answer on that land ship sag.
Speaker 2: Though, Yeah, that was all the way around. Let's go
Speaker 2: over the answers here. Irish singer Paul Houston celebrates a birthday,
Speaker 2: but you might know him better as Bono, which speeds
Speaker 2: over seven hundred miles per hour. The windiest planet in
Speaker 2: our solar system is Neptune. It was so funny if
Speaker 2: it was the famous Andrew Lloyd Webber musical that ran
Speaker 2: on Broadway from nineteen eighty two to two thousand is Cats.
Speaker 6: Oh, Phantom just shut down like this, like, Yeah.
Speaker 2: A landship is not an aircraft carrier. Those would be
Speaker 2: water ships.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a good.
Speaker 2: Landship is a tank. That's what they originally called. Okay,
Speaker 2: And the fast food restaurant known as My Dang Lao
Speaker 2: in China is McDonald It's somebody same my dangou that
Speaker 2: actually really good.
Speaker 3: Like it's s o.
Speaker 2: We're here too, So Patrick, we can't give you any
Speaker 2: money here, but just for playing you do win a
Speaker 2: food and fund package for the Taste Northwest, which is
Speaker 2: happening at the Washington State Fairgrounds June thirtieth through July second.
Speaker 5: That's better than the food and non fun package that
Speaker 5: we were gonna give.
Speaker 13: Yeah, I can use that.
Speaker 2: I went to it last year.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, it used to be to find some dakoma,
Speaker 9: but they moved it too pollod.
Speaker 5: Falsely right now, Yeah, they didn't falsely advertise fun in
Speaker 5: the package.
Speaker 2: Keeping us Northwest pea Daddy approved.
Speaker 8: All right, thank you Daddy, Thank you guys, appreciate it.
Speaker 2: You have a good We're going to be back to
Speaker 2: do Windbrooks Buck the same time.
Speaker 5: Tomorrow's Like every day I find another reason to love
Speaker 5: the Washington Potato Commission and Washington potato growers because our
Speaker 5: potato growers are committed to sustainable farming practices to grow
Speaker 5: spuds for generations to come. You hear that, kids, You got.
Speaker 3: Spuds for life.
Speaker 5: And it means so much that ninety nine percent of
Speaker 5: Washington potato farms are family run. These growers are environmentalists
Speaker 5: at their core, and they want their crops and fields
Speaker 5: healthy for their kids and their kids and their kids
Speaker 5: and their kids. You get it, all those little tater
Speaker 5: tots out there. Farmers rely on cost effective, reliable energy
Speaker 5: like hydropower for harvesting and processing potatoes. Oh by using
Speaker 5: GPS trackers while fertilizing and more energy efficient farming equipment
Speaker 5: they're using less diesel and releasing less carbon dioxide into
Speaker 5: the atmosphere. Go to potatoes dot com slash farm families
Speaker 5: to learn more about their sustainable farming practices.