Speaker 1: Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
Speaker 1: It's a good thing I'm married. I was on a
Speaker 1: road trip with my dad and passed a sign on
Speaker 1: the highway that said speed checked by aircraft. He looked
Speaker 1: at me and said, yeah, sure, when pigs fly. His
Speaker 1: court date is next week. What kind of dog lives
Speaker 1: in a toilet boodle? Yesterday? I farted in the Apple
Speaker 1: store and everyone got upset at me. It's not my fault.
Speaker 1: They don't have windows. As a child, my mom told
Speaker 1: me I could be whoever I wanted when I grew up.
Speaker 1: It turns out that this is called identity theft and
Speaker 1: is illegal. Cryogenic sleep is controversial in the Star Trek universe.
Speaker 1: Kirk is well aware of its frozen cons. If your
Speaker 1: coffee is too bitter, take it to Stockholm. That'll sweeten it.
Speaker 1: What do you call a small mother a minimum? I
Speaker 1: got caught stealing a complete set of encyclopedias, but I
Speaker 1: told the police, hang on, I can explain everything. The
Speaker 1: doctor kept pressuring me to have brain surgery. I told
Speaker 1: him there was no way he could change my mind.
Speaker 1: What kind of paper likes music? Wrapping paper? When I
Speaker 1: was young, I found the basement entry door head very high.
Speaker 1: Then one day it hits me. What is the grossest
Speaker 1: German food? I heard their sausages are the borst. What
Speaker 1: happens if you slap a person at high frequency? It hurts?
Speaker 1: Why did the contractor become a comedian? He had a
Speaker 1: really funny drill bit. Why do universal blood donors make
Speaker 1: the best stenographers? They are typo negative. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: sit at the bar by myself. I need Sam malone time.
Speaker 1: What's Superman's favorite street? Lois Lane? My friends stormed out
Speaker 1: of Denny's because they burned his meal. They should know
Speaker 1: by now that he's black toast in tolerant. Whenever I
Speaker 1: see my Spanish friend, I say mucho. It means a
Speaker 1: lot to him. After an unsuccessful harvest. Why did the
Speaker 1: farmer decide to try a career in music because he
Speaker 1: had a ton of sick beats? Why did the chicken
Speaker 1: cross the road to walk into a bar? What do
Speaker 1: you call a gold digger who is married to someone
Speaker 1: rich and fat owner? What do you call an honest
Speaker 1: insect who skip school truant? What do you call three
Speaker 1: dolphins tied together a tripod? I'm Bob Jeffy Stick around
Speaker 1: for a bonus dad joke. We're here to breighten your
Speaker 1: world with some humor. Don't forget to share the laughs
Speaker 1: or groans with your loved ones. Sleep well and I'll
Speaker 1: be back with more jokes tomorrow. Thank you for your
Speaker 1: continued support. Do you have your own dad joke you
Speaker 1: want to share? Join the hundreds of listeners who have
Speaker 1: submitted their own dad jokes through my voicemail. Please spread
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Speaker 1: to our voicemail with the best ones to be included
Speaker 1: in special fan episodes. Just leave your name, the city
Speaker 1: and state you live in, and your best dad joke.
Speaker 1: Call nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six.
Speaker 1: I'll repeat that number. It's nine seven eight three nine
Speaker 1: three one zero seven six, or check the show notes
Speaker 1: page for the number. I'll look forward to hearing from you.
Speaker 1: The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
Speaker 1: See the show notes page for social media links and
Speaker 1: joke credits. Why won't anyone explain why all my bees
Speaker 1: are fuzzy? Everyone I ask says, none of your bees
Speaker 1: wax