Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that checked himself into a psych
Speaker 1: ward after dinner the other night because he put one
Speaker 1: lasagna on top of another one and realized he still
Speaker 1: just had one lasagna.
Speaker 2: Oh oh my gosh, it never end. That would break anyone.
Speaker 1: We'd all be shook to from Laser Stories, the segment
Speaker 1: where we read weird news stories around the globe, just
Speaker 1: like everyone else does, except we have a laser and
Speaker 1: those other pastaphobes just don't. This first laser story is
Speaker 1: out of Orlando, Florida, who a few months back, the
Speaker 1: Florida Lottery announced forty one year olds Alto V. C.
Speaker 1: Morris played the five hundred x cash scratch off game.
Speaker 3: And one one million dollars.
Speaker 2: Wow, it's always so crazy to me off a scratcher
Speaker 2: just because I've only ever won like five bucks. Has
Speaker 2: been my old saying.
Speaker 1: You have to buy like the twenty thirty dollars months
Speaker 1: to win the big jackpot. And she purchased the lucky
Speaker 1: ticket at a seven to eleven and claimed her winnings
Speaker 1: immediately afterwards.
Speaker 2: Good job.
Speaker 1: When she went to the lottery headquarters, they got a
Speaker 1: photo of her holding the giant check.
Speaker 2: Awesome.
Speaker 1: Reporter asked how she felt, Alto VC replied with three
Speaker 1: words taken from an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, I'll be back.
Speaker 2: Wow that's some confidence. Oh yeah, once again?
Speaker 1: What happened next? Just a few months later, she was
Speaker 1: backed at lottery headquarters asking for more money because she
Speaker 1: spent it all.
Speaker 2: Oh I don't think that's That's not how it works.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: She was jumping for joy she claimed her second one
Speaker 1: million dollar pert. What her next ticket? Winter happened after
Speaker 1: she bought her dream home? And she said, it all
Speaker 1: happened so fast. I first win the lottery, and then
Speaker 1: as I'm closing on the house, I stopped at a
Speaker 1: Sonoko food mart and it happened again.
Speaker 2: Good carmon, is she created a past life for subject
Speaker 2: like now's my dream car? Yes.
Speaker 1: Lottery officials were shocked, especially because she only bought two
Speaker 1: scratch tickets during the entire tomb On spam, both off
Speaker 1: the same game.
Speaker 2: Oh way, Wow.
Speaker 3: There is good news in Florida. Look at that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a shock in most shocking.
Speaker 1: Barn This next laser stories out of India. A man
Speaker 1: was vacationing with his friends when the worst thing that
Speaker 1: could ever happen in Alexis's life?
Speaker 3: Actually happened?
Speaker 2: Why Dozey's phone dropped in the water?
Speaker 1: Rajish vishwas was visiting the Karquetta Dam taking a selfie
Speaker 1: when he accidentally dropped it in the reservoir.
Speaker 3: Of the lawn.
Speaker 2: Did you know this or no?
Speaker 3: But what could be worse?
Speaker 1: While Alexis in that instance would probably just call her
Speaker 1: dad and beg him to buy her a new one, yeah,
Speaker 1: the thirty two year old had a different plan. First,
Speaker 1: he hired local divers to try and find the twelve
Speaker 1: hundred dollars Samsung phone Why. Unfortunately for him, the divers
Speaker 1: told Jish that the water level would have to be
Speaker 1: significantly lower for them to make any headway on that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean standing on a damn my gosh.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's when he brought in a diesel pump to
Speaker 1: start draining the reservoir.
Speaker 2: I can't do that.
Speaker 1: He claimed that his phone contained sensitive government information on
Speaker 1: it and that he had the verbal ok from local
Speaker 1: water officials, and the pump ran for several days, pulling
Speaker 1: out more than five hundred thousand gallons of water.
Speaker 2: No, I don't even know how much water that is,
Speaker 2: Like my head can't wrap around that.
Speaker 3: At long last, Rajish got his phone.
Speaker 2: No, it actually worked.
Speaker 3: His plan worked, but sadly his phone did not.
Speaker 2: So it was all ford.
Speaker 1: And it also turns out he didn't have permission to
Speaker 1: do any of that. He was fined for dumping water
Speaker 1: that was meant to be used by local farmers to
Speaker 1: irrigate nearly fifteen hundred acres of land.
Speaker 2: Today it's actually awful. Just a little famine to get
Speaker 2: your phone back, Hosey. I don't see what the problem is.
Speaker 3: He also lost his job working as a food inspector.
Speaker 2: Oh, that was his government job.
Speaker 1: The sensitive government info on his phone turned out to
Speaker 1: be food picks from the restaurants he was supposed to miss.
Speaker 2: It's like what these apples?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. Jose can attest to that food picks.
Speaker 3: They're like gold.
Speaker 2: Absolutely absolutely, I got the perfect shot of the other day,
Speaker 2: my favorites phone. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: His next LaSure stories out of the Weird World of AI.
Speaker 1: Some guy tweeted a photo after his cousin in seventh
Speaker 1: grade used chat.
Speaker 3: GPT to cheat on a book report.
Speaker 1: It was on the nineteen eighty nine novel The Joy
Speaker 1: Luck club.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a good book, and the whole.
Speaker 3: Report is written out by hand.
Speaker 2: But he copied it like how did he copy it?
Speaker 3: Then by copying it like reading and copied it free?
Speaker 2: Did it? I did good in my English class.
Speaker 1: The first clue a kid didn't write it is the vocabulary,
Speaker 1: because how many seven graders use the word poignant? But
Speaker 1: there's an even more obvious clue in that same exact paragraph,
Speaker 1: because even though he did copy this by hand, he
Speaker 1: forgot to remove chat GPT's disclaimer at the bottom.
Speaker 3: No, the last.
Speaker 1: Paragraph starts quote as an AI language model, I don't
Speaker 1: have personal expectations or opinions, and that was written out
Speaker 1: on his paper.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Some people think that this is fake because the handwriting
Speaker 1: looks a little too good for a seventh grader.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I bet Jeff's handwriting looked too good
Speaker 2: for a second.
Speaker 1: Other people believe it's one hundred percent real, and a
Speaker 1: few commented that the kids now are just so lazy
Speaker 1: they can't even cheat the right way.
Speaker 3: That's the issue.
Speaker 2: I mean, at least they're still writing by hand.
Speaker 1: Now, laser stories out of the study of life as
Speaker 1: we know it. See what's something a lot of people
Speaker 1: think they're good at but aren't well. Worldwide studied was
Speaker 1: just done involving more than fourteen thousand people, and here
Speaker 1: are the top answers. Number seven, we think we're good
Speaker 1: at giving advice. Guess what, No, you're not. Number six
Speaker 1: is parenting. Many many people think that.
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm a parenting idiot. I'm just trying
Speaker 2: to survive by the day, Jeff, I don't know what
Speaker 2: kind of vibe I'm putting out there, but it's not that.
Speaker 1: Number five that people think they're good at is singing,
Speaker 1: which is pretty evident on this show.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to name names.
Speaker 2: Jeff, yourself a singer.
Speaker 1: Number four being humble and thinks that they're humble, Not
Speaker 1: so much.
Speaker 2: Why would anyone on this show want to be humble?
Speaker 1: Though, I just want to say, out of all of us,
Speaker 1: I'm the most humble.
Speaker 2: I have the best at it.
Speaker 1: Number three we think we're good at staying out of drama.
Speaker 2: I am diving right into it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we all secretly really love it. Number two is driving.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could argue that I think your car bill different.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And finally, the number one thing we think that we're
Speaker 1: good at but we're not really is being a great listener?
Speaker 2: Did you not hear that?
Speaker 3: A great listener? Oh? I'm fine.
Speaker 4: Thanks a few more that made the list flirting, lying, romance, cooking,
Speaker 4: and telling jokes?
Speaker 2: Who gave us a morning show?
Speaker 3: What do you call a famous turtle a celebrity?
Speaker 2: Get out of here.
Speaker 3: The stories is over for the day. We're going to
Speaker 3: do it again, same time.
Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.