Speaker 1: This is Hi guys, Hi chin, thanks for joining me
Speaker 1: again this week. Thanks for having me. So I figured
Speaker 1: we should just talk a little bit about fear. Is
Speaker 1: fear the unknown? Or is it fear of death? Or
Speaker 1: is it just anxiety? Do we need to face our fears? Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I have a lot of questions involving fear.
Speaker 1: Do you have a lot of fear? No, I have
Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety, So I kind of want to
Speaker 1: clear it up. Am I afraid? Am I fearful? Or
Speaker 1: am I just like a type a anxious person? Right?
Speaker 1: And do you are you fearful for your kids? Like?
Speaker 1: Do you have different fears that surround them? Well, it's
Speaker 1: not necessarily fear. But like I don't let my kids
Speaker 1: sleep over other people's houses. Why just because I can't
Speaker 1: control it? Right this because and you know, you hear
Speaker 1: stories of things that happened to kids on somber parties,
Speaker 1: and you know, I may change my mind when they
Speaker 1: get older. But like when parents asked me, I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: you're well, your your child's welcome to sleep over my
Speaker 1: ass and I let them over, you know, Like, and
Speaker 1: I it's it's not that I it's weird. I never
Speaker 1: think in my mind, oh, I'm scared that something terrible
Speaker 1: is going to happen. Necessarily, I don't even let myself
Speaker 1: go to that place. Right. Just my husband and I
Speaker 1: are like, no, just bottom line, bottom line note. We
Speaker 1: don't need to go down the rabbit hole. I don't
Speaker 1: need to make this parent feel a certain way, but
Speaker 1: just no. And I don't know if it's partially because
Speaker 1: um my daughter has some medical things, like she has
Speaker 1: rheuma toward arthritis, so she has had seizures before, and
Speaker 1: I know how scary they were for me in the moment,
Speaker 1: so I don't It's not I don't want to say
Speaker 1: I don't trust other people, but I don't want to
Speaker 1: have to put that rust into another parent. Right. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to sleep. I wouldn't be able to sleep.
Speaker 1: I would be worried. And I mean, I remember that
Speaker 1: moment waiting for twelve minutes for the ambulance to come
Speaker 1: the last time, and I'm like, I don't want another
Speaker 1: parent that this is. I don't know. I just I
Speaker 1: go crazy about it. I just can't even say yes.
Speaker 1: And my daughters at the age where she's starting to
Speaker 1: want to write, and I'm like no, you're welcome to
Speaker 1: ask your friends to sleep here, but it's not happening.
Speaker 1: She's like, Mom, but it's always one side, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: it's to be that way. I mean, I truly think
Speaker 1: that some of my fears aren't fears, they're just like
Speaker 1: logical parenting or life life NG I agree, but I
Speaker 1: also think that I mean, there are a couple of
Speaker 1: different thoughts that, you know, like fly through my head
Speaker 1: during the day, worrying about Rocco and I think, you know,
Speaker 1: and I always think of the worst thing ever, and
Speaker 1: I try and let it go, like something's going to
Speaker 1: happen at the school, or there's going to be a fire,
Speaker 1: and I can't get to the school. What's going to
Speaker 1: happen to him? And that's a real fear because I
Speaker 1: can feel the anxiety coming on when I start thinking
Speaker 1: about it. But I then tell myself, like, that's not
Speaker 1: going to happen, let it go. But it does happen
Speaker 1: at least once a day, it does. See that doesn't
Speaker 1: happen to me. Mine always stem from something so like
Speaker 1: if my kids go to sleep with a fever, and
Speaker 1: like I've given them tail and are they've gone to
Speaker 1: the doctor and they've started antibiotics or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: I won't sleep because I'll need to go down and
Speaker 1: check multiple times to make sure that they are doing okay.
Speaker 1: But that's because I was given a specific reason, and
Speaker 1: then I maybe overdoing it because of that reason. But
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's fear or just like I
Speaker 1: have all of the information and now I am going
Speaker 1: to probably helicopter parent a little bit. Well, I think
Speaker 1: we have to. I I feel like I have a
Speaker 1: healthy fear of the ocean, and I've always taught Rocko
Speaker 1: did not turn his back on the ocean. I don't like.
Speaker 1: I hated when he would just walk out of the
Speaker 1: ocean without seeing what's going on behind him, because the
Speaker 1: ocean is so powerful and we have no control over it,
Speaker 1: to where I was so fearful of it that I
Speaker 1: made him wear a life jacket until he was about
Speaker 1: four or four and a half when we were at
Speaker 1: the beach, even when he wasn't in the water. Do
Speaker 1: you want me to make it worse? Okay, So we
Speaker 1: were in Cabo and uh we went down to the beach.
Speaker 1: We just checked under the hotel. I asked the lifeguard.
Speaker 1: I said, Um, is the flag up that we can
Speaker 1: swim right now? And he's like, yeah, the flags up.
Speaker 1: You're good. We're you know, because some places in Cabbo
Speaker 1: you can't swim at all because the tides are very strong.
Speaker 1: So Cruz was still in his life jacket, and then
Speaker 1: the girls and I just went in. We barely went
Speaker 1: to our knees the there was a drop, and meanwhile
Speaker 1: my husband is outside of the ocean videoing us, like
Speaker 1: we're just got to the beach and I'm not kidding,
Speaker 1: We're like drowning. Oh my god. Like we immediately get
Speaker 1: sucked under the tide. I remember just pushing the kids
Speaker 1: up to the top and I am like freaking out,
Speaker 1: like I'm like and then I'm trying to yell, but
Speaker 1: I'm like I made drown. I'm like, help Edward, I'm drowning.
Speaker 1: And he's like he doesn't realize what's happening. He's like
Speaker 1: giving us the thumbs up because you can't really tell
Speaker 1: on the ocean. I end up. You know, Cruz was
Speaker 1: the best of us because he had the life jacket on,
Speaker 1: but he was the most scared. And then the girls
Speaker 1: I just kind of push out and it was just
Speaker 1: like one of those terrifying experiences where the girls were
Speaker 1: immediately like more cool, but like that wasn't that was
Speaker 1: not there. There was no chill in that, Like that
Speaker 1: was no fun. I don't want to go in the ocean.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, neither. Cruise was like next level
Speaker 1: afraid and still is and he was the one affected
Speaker 1: the least, but he was like that was frightening because
Speaker 1: I think because he was the closest to me and
Speaker 1: he could sense my fear. Oh I'm sure, Like I
Speaker 1: just overall like I was like, I don't care if
Speaker 1: I drowned right now, but these three kids need to
Speaker 1: be okay. And then I walked out and then I
Speaker 1: was so angry, like it went from fear to anger,
Speaker 1: like how did this happen? How? And then I see
Speaker 1: them switch the flag not five minutes later, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: how did this happen? How could they let a mom
Speaker 1: and three kids get into the ocean when it's like
Speaker 1: and then I so it was first I was mad
Speaker 1: at other people. First I was afraid, Then I was
Speaker 1: mad at them, and then I was mad at myself.
Speaker 1: Why did I just blindly go into the ocean? And
Speaker 1: you know, and then you start second guessing yourself and
Speaker 1: then you get into that entire spiral. And to be preferenced,
Speaker 1: we didn't go into the ocean again while we're on
Speaker 1: the trip. I wouldn't have either. Yeah, we went on
Speaker 1: the boat and we went in the pool and all
Speaker 1: those types of things. But we were like no, because
Speaker 1: when you're in that moment, you just don't know what
Speaker 1: to do. But that don't to me, that's like irrational fear, right,
Speaker 1: that is something that happens from something We all still
Speaker 1: talk about it, like, you know, to this day, traumatized,
Speaker 1: like we're like remember that time we almost drowned, Like
Speaker 1: it was like it's one of those moments. But I
Speaker 1: do think that some people have fear of the ocean
Speaker 1: that that has never happened to them. So that's what
Speaker 1: I'm confused by. Maybe it's is it learned from hearing
Speaker 1: this story like today, Sorry guys, if you're extra scared now,
Speaker 1: because I just the story. Nobody is going to go
Speaker 1: into the ocean never again. Here's here's a question. This
Speaker 1: is Mark the producer. Hi, everybody, Um, so there's three
Speaker 1: these I think these are facts. We are parents today
Speaker 1: are more umbrella e and helicoptery and snowplowy than ever before.
Speaker 1: Kids today have more anxiety than ever before. I gotta
Speaker 1: believe those are related to each other. And I gotta
Speaker 1: believe that the first one, the anxiety that parents, stems
Speaker 1: from the Internet and local news that is only existing
Speaker 1: to terrify you, right, Yeah, I mean also social media.
Speaker 1: It's all over everywhere. Every abduction, every terrible thing that
Speaker 1: happened to somebody is going to be on social media.
Speaker 1: So I think those three things combined to create and
Speaker 1: I don't know what that does the future generation. And
Speaker 1: we'll also just the fact that there's apps for everything.
Speaker 1: The other day there was a million people, like a
Speaker 1: million cops driving near my house. Um, I've seen people
Speaker 1: getting arrested. And I had somebody there that I was
Speaker 1: working with and they're like, oh, do you have the
Speaker 1: citizen app? And I'm like no, and they're like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I'll just pull it up. And they pulled it up
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, there's a potential kidnapping four houses down.
Speaker 1: But the fact that you have that knowledge every break in,
Speaker 1: every every armed you know, burglary or kidnapping or everything.
Speaker 1: We're just we're bombarded with it and but there there's
Speaker 1: no follow up and then so like I never I
Speaker 1: went on to check again like two hours later, like
Speaker 1: what it was, and it never told us. So like
Speaker 1: I tried to like get out there what was happening,
Speaker 1: Like I was like walking out like trying to see,
Speaker 1: trying to ask the cops. Nobody. Obviously they're like, get
Speaker 1: out of the way, crazy lady. But I was like
Speaker 1: I need to know, like I need to know how
Speaker 1: scared we need to be. But just having all that access,
Speaker 1: and there were complete strangers that don't even live on
Speaker 1: the street pulling up, that have the citizen app that
Speaker 1: chase after these kinds of things. But it's creating like
Speaker 1: our need to know, and I don't even know if
Speaker 1: it's just become something in us it is because even
Speaker 1: so the neighborhood that I live in has a resident
Speaker 1: Facebook page, and I swear I hear a helicopter for
Speaker 1: half a second and everybody's posting what's going on? Who
Speaker 1: has the hotline number? Somebody called the Chopper hotline. That
Speaker 1: one is another one that my wife. So I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you can't. We can no longer pay bills by sending
Speaker 1: in checks like well, so I have to for the doctor,
Speaker 1: I just send a check. You can't do that because
Speaker 1: somebody three blocks over got their mail stolen and they
Speaker 1: took their checking account number, and they stole their identity
Speaker 1: and they emptied out their bank accounts. Something I can't
Speaker 1: live my life like that. Are we setting up ourselves
Speaker 1: to not be able to do anything without electronics and
Speaker 1: we're powerless because we're afraid of the world. We're afraid
Speaker 1: of everything, and we're instilling that fear on our children.
Speaker 1: Know what else? I read that one of the biggest
Speaker 1: fears that we have is loss of being disconnected from
Speaker 1: our cell phones. Right, that is one of the Like
Speaker 1: I looked it up. It's like that is we can't
Speaker 1: even imagine. And to be perfectly honest, when I know
Speaker 1: my phone is about to die, I'm not in a
Speaker 1: good place. I'm like putting it on the low battle look,
Speaker 1: I'd like need to charge now, just even thinking about it, like,
Speaker 1: why does that? And that's a problem. I mean, we
Speaker 1: know I never had a cell phone growing up, and
Speaker 1: I mean even the fact that my seven year old
Speaker 1: well has genuinely looked at me and gone like, mom,
Speaker 1: do you think for my eighth birthday, could get a phone. No,
Speaker 1: like I don't want you on the iPad. I don't
Speaker 1: want you on the phone. I don't want you learning,
Speaker 1: I don't want you becoming playing roadblocks with a roadblocks
Speaker 1: or whatever it is with random strangers. Like that being said,
Speaker 1: my parents were like, all right, be back before it's
Speaker 1: dark ish. That's a good question though, so what is that?
Speaker 1: Did our parents not care that? Did they not have
Speaker 1: the worst case scenario going through their brains at all times?
Speaker 1: They didn't because they weren't bombarded with it. I really
Speaker 1: believe news was so different than but stuff like with
Speaker 1: Teddy what with her daughter having a fever down the hall,
Speaker 1: that's the same as it was fifty years ago. I
Speaker 1: think our parents may have been the same when it
Speaker 1: came to illness and things like that. But when it
Speaker 1: comes to just I I thought, I still in my
Speaker 1: mind think it's Los Angeles, But now that I've spoken
Speaker 1: to more people are like, no, it's everywhere. But I
Speaker 1: really I got up, said hi to my parents, rode
Speaker 1: my bike to school, would come home by dinner. That
Speaker 1: was the rule. And there was no way I was
Speaker 1: checking in or doing any of those things. Like you
Speaker 1: gotta believe that. If there's a day that I'm working
Speaker 1: and I haven't I didn't pick up my kids myself.
Speaker 1: I've got that text already to day and I'm like, hey, Dana,
Speaker 1: everything good, You got the kids, so you guys on
Speaker 1: the way to gymnastics blah blah blah. Like I have
Speaker 1: somebody who drops Rocko off in the morning because I'm
Speaker 1: already at work and she has to text me drop
Speaker 1: off one. Great, yeah, I mean if I don't hear
Speaker 1: it were by three sixteen, I'm on the horn. I'm like,
Speaker 1: all good with the pickup, Like my name's passive aggressive
Speaker 1: and I'm on one like yeah, and then the one.
Speaker 1: But here's the problem. Then that one time you don't
Speaker 1: check something happens. Nothing terrible, but like, oh, you know
Speaker 1: we're calling because you know this hat cruise forgot is
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. You know. I'm like, look, this is
Speaker 1: why I gotta be this way, and it just justifies
Speaker 1: my bad behavior. But think about our parents just leave
Speaker 1: the house in the morning and come back in the
Speaker 1: evening without ever checking in, and they were fine. They
Speaker 1: they didn't have anxiety and freak outs. And we have
Speaker 1: another problem, like I can't even then, Like my parents
Speaker 1: also didn't sit with me why I did my homework.
Speaker 1: It was like this is a whole separate. I mean
Speaker 1: we need but like I can't even do my daughter's homework.
Speaker 1: Helping my daughter with her the first grade? Do you
Speaker 1: know that makes me feel about myself? Like she's like
Speaker 1: going through her math and she's like, Mom, can you help?
Speaker 1: And I'm like I have to take a picture of it,
Speaker 1: texted to like my mom, friends and like anyone know
Speaker 1: how to do these word problem math things? Not me?
Speaker 1: You know, like but that didn't happen. Also, think about
Speaker 1: being a teenager. I look back and I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: I would go out before my mom got home from
Speaker 1: work on Friday and I wouldn't be home until midnight.
Speaker 1: I mean I wouldn't have She had no idea where
Speaker 1: I was. I could be anyway. Were tracking you, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's no tracker. There was nothing nothing. I mean there
Speaker 1: was like I remember coming well. I used to tell
Speaker 1: my mom, Like my mom, this was like kind I
Speaker 1: kind of love that she did this because I think
Speaker 1: I turned out better than the alternative. But all my friends,
Speaker 1: they had really strict parents, so they would all have
Speaker 1: to sneak out. I had to go out, but my
Speaker 1: mom is like, listen, just tell me you're going to
Speaker 1: sneak out, so I know, and then I'll let you
Speaker 1: sneak out. But like, can you just give me because
Speaker 1: I don't want to wake up and work, And so
Speaker 1: then it kind of became a thing. I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: we're sneaking out tonight, you know, but whatever it is.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't ever saying where I was going, And
Speaker 1: if I was telling where I was going, I was
Speaker 1: probably lying like really, we're just going to a field
Speaker 1: to drink until the like security comes by and like
Speaker 1: we run home. Meanwhile, my daughter like a trunk or
Speaker 1: treat two nights ago with a family with a neighbor,
Speaker 1: family that we know really well, what is a trunk
Speaker 1: or treats? It's a trick or treat, but with people's cars,
Speaker 1: it's a scute. It's cute. But she was gone for
Speaker 1: two hours. I must have checked the app to make
Speaker 1: sure she was where she's supposed to be five times
Speaker 1: in that two hours, just to make sure everything's fine.
Speaker 1: But it's getting worse. The more the outreach that we
Speaker 1: have to check, the more we want to know that's true.
Speaker 1: That's it's it's the tail wagging the dogs. It really
Speaker 1: is like and it's now the control like I've honestly
Speaker 1: turned into complete control freak because of it. Let me
Speaker 1: see if you agree with this statement I'm going to make.
Speaker 1: I believe that the world today is the same amount
Speaker 1: of dangerous as it was fifty years ago. We were
Speaker 1: just not aware of it. There were child predators, then
Speaker 1: there were child predators now. Horrible things happened then they
Speaker 1: still happen now, just no one knew about it. Do
Speaker 1: you agree? Or has the world gotten more dangerous? I
Speaker 1: really don't know, because I was so oblivious to it.
Speaker 1: I you know, I was always taught like, don't talk
Speaker 1: to strangers. Now there's full seminars on how not to
Speaker 1: talk to a stranger. And I think it's so funny
Speaker 1: you bring that up, because I say this all the
Speaker 1: time that we were told as children, don't talk to strangers,
Speaker 1: don't get in a stranger's car, don't answer the door
Speaker 1: to a stranger. And sometimes they think, Wow, I just
Speaker 1: ubered someplace home and then I postmated something, and it's
Speaker 1: like I'm inviting the strangers to my home, to my
Speaker 1: home now. Yeah, no, there's the level of places we
Speaker 1: it's unbelievable. But I mean even you tell your kids
Speaker 1: or you tell yourself like, oh, there's nothing to be afraid.
Speaker 1: But there will be the moments that I'm in an
Speaker 1: uber and it's like really late or something happening, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I should text somebody the license plate number
Speaker 1: just in case, seeming a little sketchy back here, you know.
Speaker 1: But then your mind just starts going, and then you
Speaker 1: start googling who was the last person abducted in an uber?
Speaker 1: Like is my uber gonna get mad because I said
Speaker 1: I preferred? And then you have them drop you off
Speaker 1: at the house before I got No, I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk to you. I just want to get home safely.
Speaker 1: But now I think you're mad, so then I still
Speaker 1: make small talk. Kill me? What is wrong with us?
Speaker 1: I know, I know, but yeah, but the number Another
Speaker 1: big fear that everybody had was the fear of being
Speaker 1: alone for the rest of their life. Oh that was
Speaker 1: a common one, like a lot of people writing it.
Speaker 1: You know, I've gotten divorced or I'm an empty nest
Speaker 1: and my husband's passed away, and I have a big
Speaker 1: fear of being alone for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: And you know what, I really understand that fear. I
Speaker 1: do too, especially if they're they don't have a huge
Speaker 1: um family or friends that they can reach out to,
Speaker 1: and they're searching and searching, and that it makes me
Speaker 1: kind of feel more alone when really now we have
Speaker 1: the opportunity to reach out and be more vulnerable, and
Speaker 1: there are apps and things where you can start to
Speaker 1: communicate with more people. But it's you know, sometimes our
Speaker 1: fears are so big in our heads. Like my husband
Speaker 1: has a big fear of public speaking. Um, he's an
Speaker 1: excellent public speaker, by the way he goes and does
Speaker 1: huge conferences and blah blah blah blah. Like the way
Speaker 1: he preps is a totally different way that I prep.
Speaker 1: Like I if I prep, then I'm a desist. You
Speaker 1: see me sometimes at the beginning of the show when
Speaker 1: I'm prepping, I get tongue tied. I lose myself because
Speaker 1: I have to just kind of go off the cuff.
Speaker 1: That's who I am as a person. But he is
Speaker 1: a person that really preps because of his fear. But
Speaker 1: then you would never know it, Like he had does
Speaker 1: this amazing speech and he comes down, I'm like that
Speaker 1: was incredible, and he's like you sure, I you know,
Speaker 1: like I kind of went black, like your mind goes dumb.
Speaker 1: And that will sometimes happen to me in press interviews too,
Speaker 1: like if we were talking about the show or something
Speaker 1: like that and somebody asked me something uncomfortable, I will
Speaker 1: answer and do the whole thing, and then I'll have
Speaker 1: to come out and ask my publicist was that okay?
Speaker 1: And she's like why, and I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I kind of like blacked it out, like I got scared,
Speaker 1: and then I don't know how I answered it right.
Speaker 1: Is that fear or is that like fear of what
Speaker 1: other people are going to think, fear of being judged,
Speaker 1: fear of not seeing the right thing, fear of upsetting
Speaker 1: people because now people also haven't a way to reach
Speaker 1: you to tell you've pissed them, whereas before that didn't exist.
Speaker 1: That fear of being judged by your peers, that's a
Speaker 1: big one, especially with moms and their kids. And it's
Speaker 1: like it's almost like with a lot of moms, if
Speaker 1: the kids grades go down, you're not concerned for their education.
Speaker 1: You're concerned with the other parents are going to think, yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, I mean it's your faults. Well it's not,
Speaker 1: but you're taking it on as But also we I mean,
Speaker 1: our kids have started developed. This isn't really a fear,
Speaker 1: but just things that are un comfortable. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: my daughter told me, can you not kiss me at
Speaker 1: school anymore? Because the fear of what hurt the other
Speaker 1: kids in her The other moms don't walk in, they
Speaker 1: do drop off. Can you not kiss me at the place?
Speaker 1: You know? And I'm like, and today she actually gave
Speaker 1: me a kiss, and I got all excited, like and
Speaker 1: she's like, this is why, Mom like but that it
Speaker 1: starts so early, it does Like what did somebody say
Speaker 1: to her to make her think I shouldn't give my
Speaker 1: mom a kiss goodbye at drop off? Yeah? We don't know, don't.
Speaker 1: You couldn't have made that up on your own. Right
Speaker 1: at home, you're the most loving, like cuddling, you know,
Speaker 1: it's something that somebody is set. Yeah, that's got to
Speaker 1: be that fear of fitting in the kids going through
Speaker 1: and we all remember that moment. How old is she?
Speaker 1: She's seven? Yeah, I mean I think I think I
Speaker 1: went through that older. But still every kid goes through
Speaker 1: that moment when their parents become embarrassing. I thought, she
Speaker 1: asked me today, and then I come here like this.
Speaker 1: She goes, you're going to wear this and drop off.
Speaker 1: I'm like yes, and then I'm going to iHeart so
Speaker 1: thank you for making me feel bad about Then I'm
Speaker 1: going to a business office. Then I had the fear
Speaker 1: fitting in here guys, So sorry. All right, Michael Stevens
Speaker 1: is on the line. You've seen some of his minefield
Speaker 1: videos on YouTube. Yes, I am totally freaked out. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to talk to him. Michael, Hello, Hello, how
Speaker 1: are you? I'm good things, How are you? I'm not
Speaker 1: too bad? Excited for Halloween. So do you think that
Speaker 1: the majority of fear is taught or learned? I believe
Speaker 1: that all fears are learned. I don't think anyone is
Speaker 1: born afraid of anything. We are, of course, born with
Speaker 1: these innate aversions, things that are like in our DNA
Speaker 1: for us not to like pain. You don't like pain
Speaker 1: from the moment you're you're born, disease fall. We have
Speaker 1: re flexes that kick in when we fall. Um, all
Speaker 1: of those things were innately a verse two, but when
Speaker 1: we connect something new to those a versions. That's when
Speaker 1: we have developed a fear. And I I mean I
Speaker 1: just I looked out before today. The acronym for fear
Speaker 1: is false evidence appearing real. But when it comes to pain,
Speaker 1: that's not false, that's real. It's it's not false at all.
Speaker 1: And if we weren't averse to pain, our species might
Speaker 1: not still be here. So you know, in the right dosages,
Speaker 1: fear and version are really helpful, right, And what is
Speaker 1: fear and what's your gut instinct? Oh? Man, um, I
Speaker 1: mean they're pretty different things. Fear is this emotional response
Speaker 1: we developed towards something in our lives, Like I can
Speaker 1: become afraid of needles because I start associating pain and
Speaker 1: disease with them. But a gut instinct, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: a I don't know, that's a feeling of you know,
Speaker 1: I'm will to take a risk. I believe in this thing.
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid of it. Right, So do you think
Speaker 1: that all fear? I mean, I saw I saw your show,
Speaker 1: so I do know all fear is relating to death.
Speaker 1: But in my case, I truly feel like I am
Speaker 1: more afraid of the unknown versus death. Like with my faith,
Speaker 1: I'm not really scared to die. I am worried about
Speaker 1: what would happen to my kids if I were to die.
Speaker 1: But I am not afraid of death. But I am
Speaker 1: deathly afraid of the unknown exactly. I mean, that is
Speaker 1: case in point for why death is not, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: the scariest thing. Not everyone scared of it. My grandmother,
Speaker 1: who recently passed away, was ready. And faith gives you this,
Speaker 1: this belief that you know, man, I don't you know
Speaker 1: all when I die, that's God's will, So you know,
Speaker 1: take me if you want me, right, There's something scary
Speaker 1: about death to many people. So in the episode, I
Speaker 1: wanted to find what would even scare those people, because
Speaker 1: I wanted to find the true, the true scariest thing.
Speaker 1: So I have a question about kids though, because kids,
Speaker 1: you know, I've noticed with my seven year old some
Speaker 1: of his friends aren't afraid of scary movies, something like it,
Speaker 1: uh the Dark um or roller coasters. Yeah, my son
Speaker 1: is afraid to watch scary movies, is afraid to get
Speaker 1: on a roller coaster, even though he's had good experiences,
Speaker 1: and is afraid of the dark. So what is that?
Speaker 1: I have no idea, you know, I think it's a
Speaker 1: good thing, though. It takes all kinds for us to
Speaker 1: have a society. We need people who are brave and
Speaker 1: maybe even fool hardy, and we also need people who
Speaker 1: are cautious. Right to what extent, being afraid of roller
Speaker 1: coasters when you're seven depends on the experiences you've had,
Speaker 1: the psychology of you know, your parents and your environment
Speaker 1: versus just what you're born with. That's still a really
Speaker 1: open question. Um right now, there's a lot of investigating
Speaker 1: of whether creepy quality spiders and snakes are in a
Speaker 1: native version that we're born with or a thing we learned.
Speaker 1: I kind of side on learning because there are people
Speaker 1: who just aren't scared of them. You know, their job
Speaker 1: is to take care of spiders and snakes, and they,
Speaker 1: you know, don't. Spiders were actually the number one thing
Speaker 1: I did an instagram just like what are you guys
Speaker 1: most afraid of? And I'm not kidding it was spiders. Wow,
Speaker 1: that just makes me feel bad for spiders. Honestly, they
Speaker 1: can't help that they exist. But how do you come
Speaker 1: Do you need to face your fears or can you
Speaker 1: just live afraid of spiders? Well, you know, you can
Speaker 1: live afraid of spiders. I think it's good to be
Speaker 1: a kind of afraid of things. But once a fear
Speaker 1: takes over your life, once it makes your life worse. Um,
Speaker 1: and it's unreasonable, irrationals Now it's a phobia, and that's
Speaker 1: not good. You know, exposure therapy can really help. We've
Speaker 1: all heard about this. So you're afraid of elevators, Well,
Speaker 1: what you need to do is just write a bunch
Speaker 1: of elevators. It will be tough at first, but eventually
Speaker 1: it will become boring and you'll realize, hey, I'm board,
Speaker 1: which is the opposite of being afraid. This is awesome.
Speaker 1: I'm cured. Well, does slight fibbing to your children count?
Speaker 1: Because my son is scared of elevators, but he is
Speaker 1: fine if he thinks a professional elevator conductor is inside
Speaker 1: of the elevator with him. So I had to tell
Speaker 1: him that I got my special license. So I like,
Speaker 1: show him a little license. I'm like, look, buddy, I'm
Speaker 1: good to operate this elevator. Blah blah blah. But that
Speaker 1: gives him peace of mind, because before we came up
Speaker 1: with that system, he would honestly see an elevator or
Speaker 1: see we would go in somewhere and he'd have an
Speaker 1: idea that there might not be stairs, and he goes,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go anymore. I don't want to
Speaker 1: go to David Busters because I think there's an elevator
Speaker 1: there and there's not going to be a stair option.
Speaker 1: And giving him that almost false assurance is an have
Speaker 1: to get him an elevator. Yeah, you know, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I think our lives are built on false false assurances
Speaker 1: like it's going to be fine, you know, expect to
Speaker 1: the worst, but prepare for the best, or however that
Speaker 1: saying goes. You know, we're all, you know, having to
Speaker 1: have a little bit of faith in things because it
Speaker 1: might not be okay. But if you focus on that, um,
Speaker 1: you know, the talk of a great life. Are we
Speaker 1: actually addicted to fear? Like do we love to hate fear? Well?
Speaker 1: I don't know. If I would say addicted to fear,
Speaker 1: I would say that we really enjoy it, and we
Speaker 1: have been built to enjoy it because it helps our
Speaker 1: species survive. If we didn't like being scared, we wouldn't
Speaker 1: practice what it's like to feel threatened. When you see
Speaker 1: a horror movie, your heart rate goes up and dribble
Speaker 1: in pumps. But deep down you know that it's all pretend,
Speaker 1: but you still get to practice what it's like to
Speaker 1: have your body in that state of fear, and you can,
Speaker 1: you know, yell at the screen, don't do that, you know,
Speaker 1: don't go upstairs, blah blah blah. You literally are practicing
Speaker 1: and preparing for when a real threat occurs. And that's
Speaker 1: really useful. Oh that's interesting because you know, I've noticed
Speaker 1: a lot is that we can love parts of something
Speaker 1: but fear the other half. So like oftentimes you'll hear
Speaker 1: people saying, oh, I got a beach house because I
Speaker 1: love the ocean, but I don't go in because I'm
Speaker 1: afraid of sharks drowning or getting lost at sea. Uh
Speaker 1: huh yep, So what what is that? Oh man? It
Speaker 1: is just the fact that we are full of multitudes, right,
Speaker 1: Human beings are so complicated. It's why I love psychology
Speaker 1: because it's never going to be done. I believe that
Speaker 1: we'll find a theory of everything in physics before we
Speaker 1: figure out what the heck love is, let alone fear
Speaker 1: and why you can love the ocean but not when
Speaker 1: you're too close to it or when you're in a boat,
Speaker 1: you know, um, And it's hard to study these things.
Speaker 1: Psychology is difficult. If I want to study you know, protons,
Speaker 1: I can literally smash them together in a particle collider,
Speaker 1: but I can't smash two people together. Look at what's
Speaker 1: in side that benethical so hard to investigate psychology and
Speaker 1: human behavior. Should fear be seen as a weakness, No,
Speaker 1: not at all. In fact, it's the strength. It's why
Speaker 1: we have survived for so long. If we and our
Speaker 1: ancestors weren't afraid of things, I think we would have
Speaker 1: taken risks that may have led to you know, kids
Speaker 1: not being made, and then kids and then finally us.
Speaker 1: So it's an important part of being able to survive
Speaker 1: on a planet full of threats, fear and then how
Speaker 1: do you overcome in a safe way. For some of
Speaker 1: our listeners who are very afraid of spiders or the dark,
Speaker 1: or elevators or in my case, I'm very afraid of
Speaker 1: parking garages. And today I had to switch which parking
Speaker 1: garage I had to come into, and I was all
Speaker 1: repped up, like maybe I shouldn't go, Maybe I should
Speaker 1: park down the street and walk, Like I had come
Speaker 1: up with all these things, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't have the time. I just need to pull into
Speaker 1: this parking garage. But like, how is a way to
Speaker 1: overcome them? Example, I just went into this parking garage,
Speaker 1: but sometimes like if I had the time, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have right, So how well, if you have the time,
Speaker 1: then you don't have to go into the parking garage
Speaker 1: and you shouldn't be ashamed of that. Um if you are,
Speaker 1: then exposing yourself to it safely can really help. You know,
Speaker 1: go into parking garages but with friends, right, with people
Speaker 1: who support you, and you will um become more and
Speaker 1: more familiar with them, and exposure therapy like that can
Speaker 1: reduce a fear. Um. But you know, I say, if
Speaker 1: you have the time, you don't have to do things
Speaker 1: you don't want to do, and you shouldn't be afraid
Speaker 1: unless it actually affects the quality of your life and
Speaker 1: you want things to change. What if somebody's like become
Speaker 1: like agreaphobic or those types of things. Do you think
Speaker 1: those start out small and just turn into a way
Speaker 1: bigger thing? Like do you think it only can? And
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not a psychiatrist, but I can speak
Speaker 1: from my own life I think that these things snowball.
Speaker 1: If you're afraid of going out, then you go out less,
Speaker 1: which means you're exposed to strangers and people in public less,
Speaker 1: and it just gets worse than worse. It still with
Speaker 1: anxiety and all of that, So it's it just, yeah,
Speaker 1: it becomes bigger. And you said that we weren't born
Speaker 1: with any fears, So is there always an incident that
Speaker 1: links us to our fears? Yeah, there there is. I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's always just one incident, but you know,
Speaker 1: take the fear of the dark. We are not born
Speaker 1: with a with an aversion to darkness. Our DNA doesn't
Speaker 1: contain that, and it's a good thing it doesn't, because
Speaker 1: it's pretty dark inside our mom's wombs. Right. So, um,
Speaker 1: but once we developed an imagination, um, what is that?
Speaker 1: Around like the age of two, you know, obviously it
Speaker 1: varies from child to child, but you start to be
Speaker 1: able to as this little kid go, wait, there might
Speaker 1: be something in the darkness that, um is that? And
Speaker 1: I can't tell what it is? And now you're aware
Speaker 1: of the unknown and you can imagine what might have
Speaker 1: up and now you're afraid. So sometimes it's not even
Speaker 1: an experience. You don't have to be hurt by something
Speaker 1: in the dark. You can just start imagining that it's possible,
Speaker 1: and that's enough to become afraid of something. Right are
Speaker 1: our dreams and nightmares? Are they are subconscious fears? Oh? Man,
Speaker 1: I wish we knew. Um. You know, my favorite theory
Speaker 1: about dreams is that it's about memory. That it's about um,
Speaker 1: short term memory being kind of filed away or deleted,
Speaker 1: and as these messages are shared between short and long
Speaker 1: term memory, UM, parts of us that are still kind
Speaker 1: of awake try to make sense of all these things
Speaker 1: and try to imagine, well, this must be happening. I
Speaker 1: don't know why, why the you know, hippocampus is sending
Speaker 1: me this thing about you know, my mom. I must
Speaker 1: be talking to her. And that's what I think that
Speaker 1: a dream is when they become scary. Um, I wish
Speaker 1: we knew more. Um. We did an episode of Mindfield
Speaker 1: about trying to actually record people's dreams movies by looking
Speaker 1: at how their brain act when they're watching a real
Speaker 1: movie and then learning how to read their brain state
Speaker 1: to figure out what their dreaming. And it's it's really crazy.
Speaker 1: There's a long way to go. But I mean, it's
Speaker 1: hard to answer a question about our nightmares are fears
Speaker 1: when we don't even know what the heck of dream
Speaker 1: or a nightmare is. Still. Have you seen that movie Fearless?
Speaker 1: I just watched it Friday night. It's it's an older
Speaker 1: movie with Jeff Bridges and where it starts off with
Speaker 1: a huge plane crash and he ends up fearless. But
Speaker 1: it was really weird that I watched this on Friday
Speaker 1: because it was really is there such thing as being fearless?
Speaker 1: And does that just mean, I mean, in lack of
Speaker 1: a better word, like do you no longer have any
Speaker 1: protection of yourself? Yes? There is there is fearless for real.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen the movie, but I should watch it.
Speaker 1: In the documentary, What's the scariest thing, we finally have
Speaker 1: to deal with a very rare condition where people um
Speaker 1: as they grow up, they have some genetic disorder that
Speaker 1: causes the amygdala in their brain to um carawl apart
Speaker 1: to degrade, and when they're adults, they don't have functioning amigdala.
Speaker 1: And as it turns out, the amygdala UM is the
Speaker 1: part of the brain that learns fears, and these people
Speaker 1: we know of three of them. They all have pseudonyms.
Speaker 1: Their identities are not public because it wouldn't be safe
Speaker 1: for this to be known. But they cannot feel fear. Seriously,
Speaker 1: you jump out at them in the dark and they
Speaker 1: will just be annoyed. They are not scared to find.
Speaker 1: I know it's hilarious, but it's a weird life and
Speaker 1: they know that it's wrong. And so this patient called
Speaker 1: s M came forward um and the researchers were like,
Speaker 1: this is incredible. Um. We always thought the amigdala was
Speaker 1: important in uh connecting aversions to new experiences and creating
Speaker 1: a fear. And you don't have amigala. Um, so you're
Speaker 1: right and you're not feeling fear. There is, however, still
Speaker 1: one thing that even the three people we have found
Speaker 1: who do not have a magala can panic over, can
Speaker 1: actually feel fear over. And so in the documentary that
Speaker 1: becomes the I think the best answer for what's the
Speaker 1: scariest thing with all of the technology. Now, you know,
Speaker 1: when we have Generation z s and we have millennials,
Speaker 1: and I think our kids are zers because they're so little,
Speaker 1: are they going to have a different set of fears
Speaker 1: than we do? As you know, adults, there's already a
Speaker 1: brand new phobia that's emerged called nomo phobia. Nomo phobia,
Speaker 1: it is the fear of not having a working cell
Speaker 1: phone with you. Decades ago, that fear didn't exist and
Speaker 1: couldn't exist. But now there's a new normal, and so
Speaker 1: we have this innative version of the abnormal. But what's
Speaker 1: abnormal changes as time goes on, as new generations come in,
Speaker 1: so theaters are always evolving. Wow, thank you. That's so
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about at but all of us
Speaker 1: are suffering from that. Sure, I feel guilty about it,
Speaker 1: but it's like, well, I don't know. I mean, my
Speaker 1: dad was afraid of, you know, things that I'm not
Speaker 1: afraid of because it's not important anymore. Um, but it
Speaker 1: was when he was my age, So I don't know. Um,
Speaker 1: it's kind of exciting. Um. But yeah, here will continue
Speaker 1: to play a big part in all of our lives. Well,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for talking to us today. We really
Speaker 1: appreciate it. My pleasure is great being on Bye bye bye. Okay,
Speaker 1: we are back now with the King of Pain. Rob
Speaker 1: came men Olivia. I mean, my very first question, I
Speaker 1: just need to know why and how did you get
Speaker 1: into this? That's a very fair question. Um. I think
Speaker 1: me and my co host Adam Thorne both have a
Speaker 1: fascination with nature, and so we wanted to see what
Speaker 1: these bits and things can do. We've both been bitten
Speaker 1: on accident in our personal lives while handling animals. I'm
Speaker 1: an animal handler, Adams a wildlifeologist, and so we thought
Speaker 1: we'd take it to the next level. But I don't
Speaker 1: think we realized how far that next level is about
Speaker 1: to go. Well, I have to say, I just watched
Speaker 1: your snake biting video, which like, now I'm like looking
Speaker 1: at your arm and I see a little scar. I
Speaker 1: never had a fear of snakes, and then I just
Speaker 1: watched that and I was like, you know what I
Speaker 1: might be the next hike, Like, I'm not really interested.
Speaker 1: I don't need I think you called it a fang
Speaker 1: Like I'm good on the fangs going into my arm.
Speaker 1: I how do you when it's about to happen? How
Speaker 1: do you not like run away? Oh? Yeah, well it
Speaker 1: is very scary, and that's not what we want. We
Speaker 1: don't want you scared of snakes, but but we also
Speaker 1: don't want people just picking them up. Willy nilly like
Speaker 1: you see a lot of people doing nowadays. They think,
Speaker 1: oh I saw this on YouTube and this guy was
Speaker 1: picking up this snake, and then they try to do
Speaker 1: it like the next thing. They're in the hospital or something.
Speaker 1: So we want to balance um. For me, believe it
Speaker 1: or not, the snake was not the scariest one. We
Speaker 1: knew how much damage you could do. But Ab and
Speaker 1: I both love snakes. But we had that sort of
Speaker 1: informed dread of knowing how bad this BikeE could go. Um,
Speaker 1: which for our listeners, how bad could it go? The
Speaker 1: typical python bite is not going to be too bad.
Speaker 1: You're talking to some puncture wounds and a lot of blood.
Speaker 1: But if you pull away or if the snake the
Speaker 1: size of twist, then you're talking huge lacerations. You're gonna
Speaker 1: you're gonna look in an arm and see meat and
Speaker 1: flesh and whatever else wants. And that's what it did, Adam.
Speaker 1: It it twisted its its body and just shredded them
Speaker 1: like a cheese grater. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Mine didn't
Speaker 1: look so bad. But with any of these projects, there
Speaker 1: is an element of danger that we cannot really control.
Speaker 1: And one of the teeth not really things Uh, pythons
Speaker 1: don't have things, but they're they're bigger than snap things.
Speaker 1: One of them clip my older nerve and that was
Speaker 1: something we tried to prevent. We did in an area
Speaker 1: of a lot of muscle. But these python teeth on
Speaker 1: the reticulated python are huge. How big are they? The
Speaker 1: one we did was sixteen foot. Uh supposedly they get
Speaker 1: twice that. You just don't see that in a while.
Speaker 1: We were really lucky to get a sixteen foot so unlucky.
Speaker 1: But for somebody, like you know, I did a little
Speaker 1: pole on my Instagram like number one fear and surprisingly
Speaker 1: to me, a number one fear for everybody is spiders
Speaker 1: and like they are deathly afraid of spiders, Like even
Speaker 1: the thought of a spider is putting them into a tailspin.
Speaker 1: How working around animals and working around knowing what they
Speaker 1: can do, how do you face those spears without being dangerous? Well,
Speaker 1: that's funny, say spiders, because that was my number one
Speaker 1: phobia for many years. Believe it or not, a lot
Speaker 1: of snake guys are terrified of spiders. Stop that phobia
Speaker 1: come from I don't know, They're so gross, very sick now, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just something about these very little things that can
Speaker 1: run around in any direction. You can't really predict, no
Speaker 1: control over them. I had I live in an area
Speaker 1: in a canyon, and a year ago there was a
Speaker 1: huge brown recluse that had built this huge web. So
Speaker 1: I called one of my friends from Montana because I
Speaker 1: figured they would know what to do, and he said,
Speaker 1: put your hair up, put a winter hat on, put
Speaker 1: a big sweatshirt on, get the broom and pretend you're
Speaker 1: about the bases are loaded and you have the last
Speaker 1: hit in the World Series game and let the broom
Speaker 1: go with it. So I did it, and it worked,
Speaker 1: knocked a home run. I totally thought a year I
Speaker 1: wasn't so afraid of spiders anymore. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I've got this. I can do this because you took control.
Speaker 1: Well until like six months ago when I was watering
Speaker 1: the plants and I look up and there's a same spider.
Speaker 1: I think maybe it was different because I'm still alive.
Speaker 1: But so I tried to spray it with a hose
Speaker 1: and it felt my hair and I had a jumpsuit on.
Speaker 1: Went down the back of my jumpsuit and started biting
Speaker 1: my back like fifteen times, and I couldn't strip on
Speaker 1: the like my patio, I would have been a nudist.
Speaker 1: I ran into the house and I was like, ah,
Speaker 1: I mean it was Now I'm terrified. I'm like petrified.
Speaker 1: If I opened the door and I see a spider,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I can't go outside, I can't go
Speaker 1: to work. I don't even learn what kind of spiders
Speaker 1: they are. Like if I see one like we've had,
Speaker 1: we had them kind of back because I think it
Speaker 1: was hot, so then we had to have somebody coming
Speaker 1: in spray. But I don't I see a different colored one.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't even want to know. Like if
Speaker 1: I know that, I'm going to be in a worse
Speaker 1: situation than I am now. So I'm just going to
Speaker 1: pretend that this spider is like not a problem, even
Speaker 1: though it's bigger than my face. They've been really big.
Speaker 1: They've been ginormous with like dots, yes, but don't tell
Speaker 1: me what kind it is. But but when it comes
Speaker 1: to animal, when it comes to knowing that something terrible
Speaker 1: can happen to you, how do you sit in that well?
Speaker 1: Because we're doing it for a reason, and um, we're
Speaker 1: creating a scale of how bad the pain hurts, how
Speaker 1: long it lasts, and does it cause any damage. And
Speaker 1: so when you were bitten by the spider or someone
Speaker 1: else has bitten by another animal, if it's something we
Speaker 1: put on the pain index, it really helped people not
Speaker 1: to panic because panics, the number one killer pull, do
Speaker 1: all kinds of stupid stuff when they're bitten by animals.
Speaker 1: People get bitten by rattlesnakes and start cutting open their
Speaker 1: arms and just making it worse. And so we're hoping
Speaker 1: to arm people, and so that kind of gives us
Speaker 1: a little extra courage. There's a there's a reason for
Speaker 1: it because the whole uh more big curiosity that Adam
Speaker 1: and I went into this with that's gone, that's originally started,
Speaker 1: was it to help people? Are really like we need
Speaker 1: to know. I think I think I think the real
Speaker 1: reason we started was that was to help people. But
Speaker 1: I think for us personally, we just wanted to know.
Speaker 1: We we had so many questions and um, we've answered
Speaker 1: a lot, but we have a lot more questions after
Speaker 1: doing this because what's the biggest answer you've gotten? Ah,
Speaker 1: that is unpredictable. Um, this guide, this, this index will
Speaker 1: be a really good guide, but it's never gonna be
Speaker 1: right on because everyone reacts differently, and so, uh, we
Speaker 1: would like when people get bitten to look up that
Speaker 1: animal that we've already been bitten by and see what
Speaker 1: to expect. At the same time, you know, maybe go
Speaker 1: get medical help, don't panic because some people react differently.
Speaker 1: A lot of times I'll be fine, it will hurt
Speaker 1: and then there's no big reaction on my skin, and
Speaker 1: Adam will be turning like red as a beat And
Speaker 1: it's just because everyone reacts differently. Have you thought of
Speaker 1: hiring assistant take on the bites when anyone listening if
Speaker 1: you want to get a stunt double, I mean, I
Speaker 1: I just don't know. I get the helping people, I
Speaker 1: understand that, but I like just got sweaty hearing about it. Oh,
Speaker 1: I just I don't think I could just stick my
Speaker 1: arm out and know that it's coming. Yeah, there's no way.
Speaker 1: You've got to dig deep. But you know what you do.
Speaker 1: Both of us getting bitten and stung by every animal,
Speaker 1: one of us goes first, one of us goes second.
Speaker 1: How do you choose, Well, we choose by who's more
Speaker 1: scared goes first. Oh, that's that's a good idea. It
Speaker 1: kind of does you disservice because you're scared and you
Speaker 1: have to go first, so that's terrifying. And then the
Speaker 1: second person who wasn't as scared sees how bad it
Speaker 1: was for the first guy, and then he has going
Speaker 1: second is the worst, believe it or not, especially with
Speaker 1: a bad bite. You just see the person suffering for
Speaker 1: an hour and then he's like, Okay, I think I'm
Speaker 1: ready to sting you now, are you ready? And since
Speaker 1: you were younger, did you always have this curiosity? Um, yes,
Speaker 1: you know you get bitten stung by stuff as a
Speaker 1: little nature kid running around all the time. But maybe
Speaker 1: ten or fifteen years ago I got a job at
Speaker 1: a reptile store and as part of the audition for
Speaker 1: that job, I had to get bitten by a giant
Speaker 1: Tokay gecko and I was like, this thing is gonna
Speaker 1: take a Probably not they got closed down today. They
Speaker 1: didn't do that. At the I Heart interview when I
Speaker 1: for my podcast, they were like, you have to see
Speaker 1: if you're going to get I mean, that is crazy.
Speaker 1: Get some gecks if you want. Wow, I just can't
Speaker 1: even I can't even imagine. And then so for the listener,
Speaker 1: if they do have a fear of snakes or fire
Speaker 1: urchins or scorpion, fish or bullet answer any of these things.
Speaker 1: What should they do? Well? All I can give is
Speaker 1: my advice on how I got over ragnophobia. And I
Speaker 1: was sick and tired of flipping over rocks looking for
Speaker 1: snakes that I loved, and then it'll be a big, fat,
Speaker 1: freaking trantula or something there, and just I'm getting the
Speaker 1: chills right now. Even so, I couldn't look at books
Speaker 1: with trans so I started just putting my hand on
Speaker 1: a book and and just praying, like God, it's not
Speaker 1: a real spider I was. I was that terrified. And
Speaker 1: then over time I started seeing spires in the wild
Speaker 1: and I started touching them. You don't have to go
Speaker 1: to that level, but just look at it. Looking is
Speaker 1: very difficult getting out and you'll see when you watch
Speaker 1: this show. Then these animals are coming after us, with
Speaker 1: the exception of the hippos. That's another story, Oh my gosh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But it's when we started trying to catch them or
Speaker 1: or grabbing them, that's when they hurt you. So if
Speaker 1: somebody's out hiking or you're out in nature, don't go
Speaker 1: trying to touch wild animals. They're there for a re
Speaker 1: and leave them alone. Don't insta story. The mountain lion
Speaker 1: maybe with a boomerang would look really good now, might
Speaker 1: be worth it. But people are scared of rattlesnakes when
Speaker 1: they're hiking on running canyon here in l A and
Speaker 1: stuff um and they freak out. These things are not
Speaker 1: that fast. If you stand ten feet away and can't
Speaker 1: out run a rattlesnake, you probably shouldn't be jogging if
Speaker 1: they're so easy. The danger is they're so camouflaged that
Speaker 1: you step on them. But if you watch me are
Speaker 1: going on the trails, you're fine. Well, I grew up
Speaker 1: in the South and I was taught there was like
Speaker 1: alligators or crocodile, I don't know the difference, but whatever,
Speaker 1: there were those things and they would come out, and
Speaker 1: we were taught as kids that if one starts chasing you,
Speaker 1: that you have to run, but you have to zig
Speaker 1: zag because apparently then they tried to zig zag and
Speaker 1: then they have these big bodies. Was that like an
Speaker 1: old wives tailor? Is that the truth? Like? Was I
Speaker 1: zig zag running my whole childhood for no reason? I
Speaker 1: think it's not that true. I've heard. I've heard arguments
Speaker 1: of us. Well, here's the alligators strike really well to
Speaker 1: the side and sit to the front. So when you
Speaker 1: start zigzag and you're kind of lying yourself right now,
Speaker 1: I was lied to. That is what they told us.
Speaker 1: Even when we're on horseback, they're like, just keep it going,
Speaker 1: but go like in the zig zag motion. Who who
Speaker 1: started that? And who starts these rumors? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I don't know. They are rampant. There's nothing like dangerous
Speaker 1: animals to start rumors that people will just believe right away.
Speaker 1: Somebody looked it up. Yeah, I was dead sure that
Speaker 1: that was correct information. Looking at you, I felt confident.
Speaker 1: If you told them you didn't believe it anymore, they
Speaker 1: would probably disown you. I'm going to have to do
Speaker 1: some additional research on this topic. Oh my gosh. You know,
Speaker 1: we always get like a mountain lion is spotted in
Speaker 1: the area in the neighborhood, we'll get an email that
Speaker 1: says things you should do if you come in contact
Speaker 1: with the mountain lion, And the first one is always
Speaker 1: make yourself appear bigger, how eat and what do you
Speaker 1: meet like at your hands? Do you wanna what do
Speaker 1: you do when you come in contact with a wild
Speaker 1: animal like that, Well, it's something I predator like that
Speaker 1: you want to look at in the eye. You might
Speaker 1: not want to do that with animal who's defensive, But
Speaker 1: how do you know if it's defensive or not? Good
Speaker 1: luck now with with a mountain lion, look big, look
Speaker 1: in the eye, mountain lion. It's it's smart enough to
Speaker 1: know that. You know, you're kind of tall. Maybe you
Speaker 1: could hurt me. Um, And so if you're looking the
Speaker 1: eye like I'm ready to throw down, they're not going
Speaker 1: to mess with you and put your arms up way
Speaker 1: make noise. They're terrified. You know, we we walk on
Speaker 1: two feet, which so animals think we're way bigger than
Speaker 1: we really are. Well, I know coyotes aren't scared of
Speaker 1: me because they get in fights or they're trying to
Speaker 1: eat each I don't know what they're doing, but they're
Speaker 1: very loud in the middle of the night. I live
Speaker 1: in the in the hills, and so they will be
Speaker 1: going at it. And sometimes I'm like, we are trying
Speaker 1: to sleep around here. So I'm like, hey, they don't care,
Speaker 1: they don't stop. I mean, if they're trying, like going
Speaker 1: after something, that will be hours of them just screaming
Speaker 1: at the top of their lungs and I'm like, there's
Speaker 1: nothing that's gonna stop this thing. I'll try to whistle.
Speaker 1: They don't care. Nothing works out now. They're urban coyotes.
Speaker 1: They're like, yeah, go back to bed. Try Oh my gosh, Okay,
Speaker 1: you guys have to tune in The King of Pain
Speaker 1: Airs Tuesday's ten nine Central on the History Channel. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for coming, Rob, We appreciate it. Thanks
Speaker 1: for having me. Wow, So it's Halloween wake. That's the
Speaker 1: impetus for this fear topic. Seems kind of appropriate. Um,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of fears when you're living in southern California.
Speaker 1: We mentioned that earlier. How some are worse in l
Speaker 1: A than others. And one is the fear of brush
Speaker 1: fires because they are constant. And Katie Burr was supposed
Speaker 1: to be here in studio, but she is stuck on
Speaker 1: the four or five freeway because of these fires. Katie,
Speaker 1: are you there, I'm here where abouts? I'm actually, oh,
Speaker 1: you're down your south down there, but step bad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's been a lot of traffic today. Yeah, the whole
Speaker 1: city is a wreck right now because of these fires.
Speaker 1: It really is in the traffic being diverted everywhere is
Speaker 1: just making it congested everywhere. I know, even getting here,
Speaker 1: I think because so many schools were closed last minute
Speaker 1: as well, that you know, everybody's taking alternate roots, and
Speaker 1: the people that have to get to work, they're like,
Speaker 1: what am I going to do with my kids? Because
Speaker 1: even if they're not affected in the fires, they don't
Speaker 1: have childcare right, So it's just adding such a dynamic.
Speaker 1: But thank you for calling in. Uh. I have to
Speaker 1: be completely transparent that I'm a little bit of a
Speaker 1: skeptic when it comes to the paranormal, unlike um gin here.
Speaker 1: Who what have you recently just done? Well, I've had
Speaker 1: to have my house cleansed by a professional twice. I'm
Speaker 1: talking professional professionals speaking like straight from Egypt, speaking Arabic
Speaker 1: and burning all kinds of different incense and making me
Speaker 1: jump over a fire pot three times. And what do
Speaker 1: you think of this behavior, Katie, let's jump right into it. Well,
Speaker 1: what's going on at your house? Okay? So when I
Speaker 1: was pregnant, which was eight years ago, I woke up
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night because I felt somebody
Speaker 1: staring at me and I looked over. I know, I
Speaker 1: woke up. It was not dreaming. I saw an older
Speaker 1: man looking down on me. He was standing right next
Speaker 1: to the bed. And I just froze and said nothing
Speaker 1: and didn't move and closed my eyes because I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't need I just can't. I just I don't
Speaker 1: know what's going on. I knew that it wasn't a
Speaker 1: real person, but that it was some sort of entity
Speaker 1: or familiar to you. He did not look familiar to me,
Speaker 1: but he looked like Baseball era, like old, like he
Speaker 1: had like had you just much of their own No, no,
Speaker 1: so cuts. So the next day I called Aster. Her
Speaker 1: name's Ester. How did you find her? Um through a
Speaker 1: referral bag. So Esther comes over, she cleanses the house.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure everything is okay, but you know what
Speaker 1: she says at the end, she goes, oh my gosh. Well,
Speaker 1: she kept walking into my bedroom and the whole flame
Speaker 1: would go out on this mixture that she had, and
Speaker 1: she said, something's wrong in here. She said she'd go
Speaker 1: out and light it, come back in flame would go out.
Speaker 1: I know it was really Also, my marriage was like
Speaker 1: really ending or you know, so I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it must be the marriage must say. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: she goes, there is an old man in this house,
Speaker 1: and he is we need to get rid of him.
Speaker 1: So she did that and then nothing. Everything was great.
Speaker 1: The house felt like fresh and airy and clear and everything.
Speaker 1: And then my son was about two and a half
Speaker 1: and he started pointing into a back room all the
Speaker 1: time and he would say ghost. He'd say, who is that?
Speaker 1: And I was like, Oh my god, esther come get
Speaker 1: the ghost out? So I think we have another one.
Speaker 1: I do Katie's not because she's a ghost there. Maybe
Speaker 1: she does a ghost, but she actually spent two weeks
Speaker 1: in an asylum that is said to be one of
Speaker 1: the most haunted places in America. So it was it
Speaker 1: fair to say that you are a believer. Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: definitely a believer. I mean I have a little bit
Speaker 1: of skepticism because I mean, you just have to you know,
Speaker 1: you can't just go full into this stuff. And you know,
Speaker 1: we all tried to disprove it first, because if you can,
Speaker 1: you know, if you can't disprove it, then you know
Speaker 1: that you're onto something. So it's good to have a
Speaker 1: little bit of skepticism. But after Penhurst, I mean I
Speaker 1: was a believer before, Uh, Penhurst, definitely it was next
Speaker 1: level for me. Can you tell us about your experience there?
Speaker 1: You know, it honestly was something that I just wasn't expecting.
Speaker 1: I you know, I went into there and um, you know,
Speaker 1: I've I've been investigating for about ten years now, so
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like I've seen it all. But
Speaker 1: when I went to Pinhurst, it was just unexpected experiences
Speaker 1: that honestly, I would have to say were life changing.
Speaker 1: I think it was life changing for all of us.
Speaker 1: I think it made us all reevaluate ourselves as investigators
Speaker 1: and just um, you know my take personally on protecting myself,
Speaker 1: that's a big thing. I didn't really take that seriously before,
Speaker 1: and you know, going to Pinhurst and kind of experiencing
Speaker 1: just the darker side of things, I really started to
Speaker 1: realize this is something that you don't play with and
Speaker 1: you really need to go in there and just kind
Speaker 1: of take a little bit more seriously, even if it's
Speaker 1: just taking authority. And so in that pla nation of
Speaker 1: what we can watch, Um on Annie, it says that
Speaker 1: some of you experienced physical attacks and saw full body operations.
Speaker 1: Can you explain that to us, so I didn't actually happen.
Speaker 1: Um So, Funny enough, we have a huge skeptic on
Speaker 1: our team, so Max is our he's our geologist, and
Speaker 1: he's very, very skeptable, and uh it was really fun
Speaker 1: for me personally to watch him have his first experiences. Um.
Speaker 1: I was actually uh you know, sitting next to him
Speaker 1: for a couple of them. So you know, I don't
Speaker 1: know if he will admit that he's a bloater at
Speaker 1: this point, but he definitely has questions. UM So that
Speaker 1: that was really just a fun experience. But uh, you know,
Speaker 1: other than that, you know, we did have some pretty
Speaker 1: dark experiences there, and um, you know, obviously I can't
Speaker 1: give too much away, but um it's it's something like
Speaker 1: I was saying that it definitely changed even my view
Speaker 1: and I've I've been around this stuff, you know, I've
Speaker 1: I've been around um you know, darker energy for for
Speaker 1: quite some time. But um it was just really unexpected
Speaker 1: and um it really just it made me, uh just
Speaker 1: rethink how to handle things. Um So, I yeah, seeing
Speaker 1: like cool bodied operations like that, I mean it it
Speaker 1: throws you off, you know for sure. Could it be
Speaker 1: almost like a placebo effect? Though? Like you see it
Speaker 1: happen to one person, you know, like somebody's like, oh,
Speaker 1: if you take this medicine, then you'll feel better. And
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden you take what you think
Speaker 1: is the Thailand all but really it's just a vitamin.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, my headache is gone. Could it be
Speaker 1: something like that? Um, you don't. You You might think that,
Speaker 1: you know, you might think going into a place like that,
Speaker 1: oh it's ominous walking and you know, you think you're
Speaker 1: gonna sell all this stuff. But to be honest with you,
Speaker 1: just from my perspective, I mean I went in there
Speaker 1: thinking this is just like any other place that I've been.
Speaker 1: And I mean it's it's definitely a huge campus. It's
Speaker 1: a hundred and ten acres um. You know, it's it's
Speaker 1: really spread out, and the building are you know, really
Speaker 1: creepy looking. But I just really didn't feel like I
Speaker 1: was going to experience anything different there than any of
Speaker 1: the other places that I've gone. I thought it might
Speaker 1: just be in a larger scale. Um so, you know,
Speaker 1: not really looking for that and finding the things that
Speaker 1: we found, Um, I can't say that that was something
Speaker 1: that you know I went in looking for. Did you
Speaker 1: all stick together or were you alone at times? And
Speaker 1: what about the crew? I mean, you guys were used
Speaker 1: to this, but was were the crews terrified? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: A couple of people hadn't ever had experiences before, so
Speaker 1: much like much like Max, it was fun to watch
Speaker 1: them as well. But we were instructed actually when we
Speaker 1: showed up at Penhurst to kind of stay in groups
Speaker 1: that as things used to go off by yourself. So
Speaker 1: I think that kind of added to the creepiness right away,
Speaker 1: you know, because you don't know what talks back then.
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, stepping onto the grounds there, I didn't
Speaker 1: want to be by myself, like I wanted to keep
Speaker 1: of my team around like we had the buddy system,
Speaker 1: um kind of walking around there. Um. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it was definitely fore voting atmosphere. Are there certain
Speaker 1: days that paranormal activity really hits? Like? Is there anything
Speaker 1: around Halloween that the listeners need to be worried about?
Speaker 1: I think that might be the Poscemo effect. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're right, Um, it's really it's not the day. It's more. Um,
Speaker 1: I know people talk with a witchy hour and you know,
Speaker 1: I I've kind of noticed that in my experienced um
Speaker 1: that you know, things do kind of pick up around
Speaker 1: three am, but not always. I mean I've had experiences
Speaker 1: during the day, you know, ronty light when you're not
Speaker 1: expecting it, and uh, you know it's not like, oh
Speaker 1: it's Tuesday at like three o'clock, everything's gonna happen today.
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's pretty random. I think it depends
Speaker 1: on you know what I believe. You know, it goes
Speaker 1: the energy to manifest, So I think it really depends
Speaker 1: on the environment. It depends on what energy is there
Speaker 1: for for them to feed off of. Can you explain
Speaker 1: that a little bit more? Ghosts need energy to manifest?
Speaker 1: So our energy, well, I mean we're all energy. You know,
Speaker 1: everything around us is energy. So um, you know they
Speaker 1: say energy cannot be created or destroyed, so when we die,
Speaker 1: I mean they're still energy there. You know, your spirit
Speaker 1: is energy. So uh, you know, you feel it's basically
Speaker 1: need um, some sort of energy to feed off of
Speaker 1: two kind of you know, manifest in whatever way, if
Speaker 1: it's a shadow figure or a full body apparition, Um,
Speaker 1: maybe just noise that you hear. Uh. You know, they
Speaker 1: definitely feed off of their environment and and us as well.
Speaker 1: What are some of the signs that an energy is
Speaker 1: around you. I mean there's so many You can you know,
Speaker 1: hear disembodied voices that you can you know, maybe feel
Speaker 1: touched or just you know, if you're more sensitive, you
Speaker 1: know something that I'm kind of realizing that I am.
Speaker 1: You can just feel presence around you sometimes. And do
Speaker 1: you think children are able to just because they they
Speaker 1: still believe in the magic of what am I trying
Speaker 1: to say? It's like they can they believe in they
Speaker 1: have magic or well they have magical thinking, are they
Speaker 1: Are they more apt to see a ghost because they're
Speaker 1: not like, oh no, that was you know, oh that
Speaker 1: was the pots and pans that just you know, fell
Speaker 1: in the cupboard or something like that, like we would say,
Speaker 1: you know, that is something I actually believe because I
Speaker 1: think as we get older, we start still turning things about,
Speaker 1: you know, as we get into adulthood. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: you start going into the kind of like societal norms
Speaker 1: where you know it's not appropriate to you know, have
Speaker 1: your imaginary friend or um, you know, to to experience
Speaker 1: certain things. So I think kids are kind of unstilled still,
Speaker 1: you know, and uh, they they don't they don't still
Speaker 1: do that stuff out there kind of you know still
Speaker 1: it's you're like what you said, like the magic around them,
Speaker 1: like they kind of still play into that, right. So
Speaker 1: is there like one of can you tell us a
Speaker 1: little more about maybe a place that you investigated in
Speaker 1: the past and some of the some of the experiences
Speaker 1: that you had there since we're going to save the
Speaker 1: asylum for our viewing pleasure, definitely it's worth the way.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, I uh So the craziest place that I
Speaker 1: had been to before Penhurst, um was actually a place
Speaker 1: in Pennsylvania I did when I was on Ghost Lab.
Speaker 1: And it was called Hillview Manor, and um it was
Speaker 1: it's an old kind of abandoned hospital. Um or just
Speaker 1: it was really like a home for the four uh
Speaker 1: but it's just it's got the things that a creepy
Speaker 1: factor that pan Hurst has on a slightly you know,
Speaker 1: smaller scale. And um that was the first place, you know,
Speaker 1: when when I did Ghost Lab, I wasn't really more
Speaker 1: in channel with my side the way that I am
Speaker 1: now for whatever reason, but um, you know, I I
Speaker 1: walked in that place, and that was the first place
Speaker 1: I could honestly say I walked in and I could
Speaker 1: just feel the energy. I could just feel the heaviness
Speaker 1: walking in there. Um. So it kind of prepared me
Speaker 1: for Penhurst in a lot of ways. But one of
Speaker 1: the things that happened while we were there, I was
Speaker 1: I was kind of the ghost state of the team.
Speaker 1: And they would put me in the in you know,
Speaker 1: just different places, by myself. And they put me in
Speaker 1: a basement by myself, and there was a big heavy
Speaker 1: door that had been propped open. We've been there for
Speaker 1: three days and the thing hadn't much and I was,
Speaker 1: you know, sitting down there in this old creepy wheelchair,
Speaker 1: and I had my video camera pointed at the door,
Speaker 1: and the door just started closing on a phone right
Speaker 1: in front of me. Did you scream? What do you do? I? Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm not a screamer. I I freezed like a deer
Speaker 1: in headlights. That's kind of my say. So I just
Speaker 1: throw it, as you know, like I I don't I
Speaker 1: get scared. I don't want to I don't want to
Speaker 1: run away. I don't want to make any noises. So
Speaker 1: I just I froze, and luckily I had my video
Speaker 1: camera pointed right at the door, so I was actually
Speaker 1: able to catch it on camera. Wow, I don't think
Speaker 1: I could be an investigator. You would be getting a
Speaker 1: lot of cleanses after that. That's important that That's one
Speaker 1: of the things that pin Hurst kind of taught me
Speaker 1: is that, you know, that whole protection thing like cleansing yourself.
Speaker 1: Maybe there's something to that. But we were talking earlier
Speaker 1: about fear and so much fear in our daily lives,
Speaker 1: and fear with our kids, and fear everything from spiders
Speaker 1: to your kid's sickness, your kids out of your sight.
Speaker 1: When you're in a haunted situation and you're seeing something paranormal,
Speaker 1: how do you control your fear? Do you have breathing techniques?
Speaker 1: Like how do you get through that? I think that's
Speaker 1: something that I'm still teaching myself. Actually, Um, I just
Speaker 1: try to stay mentally strong. I just try to kind
Speaker 1: of like talk myself through whatever is going on. I mean, obviously,
Speaker 1: as an investigator, we're the ones running tour the activity
Speaker 1: instead of away from it. But I mean, definitely their
Speaker 1: situations where my fear gets the best of me. You know,
Speaker 1: when you're not expecting something, which is you know so
Speaker 1: much of the stuff, and I think it's important just
Speaker 1: to kind of you know, ground yourself, stay in the
Speaker 1: moment and just kind of talk yourself through whatever is
Speaker 1: going on. And if one of your kids says they
Speaker 1: see something, what is the best way to handle that
Speaker 1: in response, like, what would you say as a parent
Speaker 1: to your child if they say, well, I think the
Speaker 1: most important thing is not to uh, you know, question them,
Speaker 1: not to to make them feel like they need to
Speaker 1: question themselves, because I you know, I've talked to already.
Speaker 1: I think I guess there's so many people that you know,
Speaker 1: have have grown into adulthood, you know, kind of being
Speaker 1: ashamed of experiences that they've had, and you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's kind of traumatizing because they know that they're experiencing it.
Speaker 1: You know, whether or not you experience it with them,
Speaker 1: whether or not you actually believe whatever. Captain sable keep
Speaker 1: it And I think it's important just to really be
Speaker 1: supportive of that. It just kind of talks in through it. Okay,
Speaker 1: that was a hard pill for me to swallow, but
Speaker 1: I'm taking it. Thank you so much, Katie. That was
Speaker 1: so I everybody should tune in to the world's biggest
Speaker 1: ghost hunt, Penhurst Asylum. It's it starts October eight p
Speaker 1: m on Annie. Thank you guys for having me. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to watch this. Oh yeah, it's definitely worth
Speaker 1: the way. Good luck on the freeway. Thank you. I
Speaker 1: did have reet Sorry I got by. I did have
Speaker 1: one thing that happened to me when I was like
Speaker 1: eighteen years old. Um, I had just moved to l A.
Speaker 1: And Um, this was like before I started going to
Speaker 1: church and all these types of things. Um. I went
Speaker 1: to like a psychic that was I lived on Robertson
Speaker 1: and I just like walked in because I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know anyone out here. The struggle
Speaker 1: is real. Like whatever, Um, I'm gonna go to the psychic.
Speaker 1: So I went, and she told me all these things
Speaker 1: out of them actually came true, like that I was
Speaker 1: going to marry somebody with two first names. I've been
Speaker 1: married twice and nobody has two first names. Um. But
Speaker 1: she gave me these candles and she said, like, if
Speaker 1: you ever really want to do like a cleanse or whatever,
Speaker 1: she said, go in the bathtub and light these candles
Speaker 1: and think about all the things that you want for
Speaker 1: your future. And my sister was down visiting, so I
Speaker 1: go into the bath and I'm like, I'm very serious
Speaker 1: about I tell my sister. I'm like, do not interrupt
Speaker 1: me for the entire time I'm in the bath. Listen,
Speaker 1: I'm taking I'm doing these candles. I'm thinking about my future.
Speaker 1: I need you to just know. She's like, okay, So
Speaker 1: I'm probably five attendants into the bath and I hear
Speaker 1: and I'm like what, And she's like, I just heard one.
Speaker 1: I'm like, but as I opened my eyes, my entire
Speaker 1: bathtub is black. And because well, I end up finding
Speaker 1: out that the pipes had burst in our bill thing.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm mud coming out through the things.
Speaker 1: But like, we still laugh because then I'm like me
Speaker 1: because I'm like covered and whatever this and she is,
Speaker 1: I mean, we still laugh about it. She's like, remember
Speaker 1: when you did your candles in the bath? They were covered?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I thought that was a good time. So,
Speaker 1: you know, but that was my last any kind of
Speaker 1: discussion about that. But yeah, that's my my one and
Speaker 1: only experience that it happened to. You know, anybody else
Speaker 1: that was taking a bath at eight seven eight seven? Well,
Speaker 1: you know, there's also um irrational fears, and we've talked
Speaker 1: about a lot of fears here, and they're also the
Speaker 1: ones that are bizarre, that are to us bizarre, and
Speaker 1: we don't want to make light of them. But I
Speaker 1: remember Tyra Banks to the show and she opened about
Speaker 1: her fear of dolphins. She had a deathly fear of dolphins,
Speaker 1: which you can live a nice life because unless you're
Speaker 1: in the ocean, you're not gonna encounter a dolphin. But
Speaker 1: it's a legitimate fear. We've asked this on our face
Speaker 1: one of our podcast Facebook group a couple of times.
Speaker 1: Here's a woman right here in herrational fear of Bendy straws,
Speaker 1: and she's not joking. This is legitimate. She's afraid of
Speaker 1: bendy straws. Another woman. Did they say why? Well, she
Speaker 1: does recall a moment that in high school, her friends
Speaker 1: thought would be funny to bendy straw her house instead
Speaker 1: of toilet paper house or whatever. They bendy straw hear house.
Speaker 1: They hung them in the trees like ornaments and skewed
Speaker 1: them sticking up out of the ground, and she had
Speaker 1: a massive panic attack cleaning them up, and she has
Speaker 1: a hard time with them. I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: I don't mean to laugh, but exactly. But here's another
Speaker 1: This woman has a fear of band aid. She finds
Speaker 1: them disgusting and sticky and they freak her out. My
Speaker 1: daughter is afraid of stickers, really, she doesn't. She doesn't
Speaker 1: use the word afraid, but she's like, I don't want it,
Speaker 1: no thank you, Nope, I'm not interested in stickers. You
Speaker 1: know they always give them to kids, like at the bank,
Speaker 1: and she's like, no thank you, Like she does not
Speaker 1: like that sticky texture. But what is that? Is that
Speaker 1: just I guess it's just a techtile. I think it's
Speaker 1: a tactile thing for her. I don't think it's like
Speaker 1: a fear. But she's like not interested in what happens
Speaker 1: when a sticker comes off and there's that like little residue. Right,
Speaker 1: that's like a hard note for her, But she's like that.
Speaker 1: She's funny about a lot of different textures, So I
Speaker 1: guess that makes sense, but stickers is the only like
Speaker 1: like actual item. And do you feel like you need
Speaker 1: to fix this with your daughter. I'm totally cool with it.
Speaker 1: Cruise and Bella like the stickers and slights like no
Speaker 1: thank you, and I'm like, yeah, right, she's not freaking
Speaker 1: out the screen, and it doesn't mind a bay of stickers.
Speaker 1: She's like, go suit yourself and get all sticky breaks.
Speaker 1: And of course we worked with somebody who was definitely
Speaker 1: afraid of elevators, yes, and flying and flying in planes,
Speaker 1: which I think is pretty common. Actually, I was with
Speaker 1: her in Vegas when we took like seventy two flights
Speaker 1: of stairs up to our room. Why do you also
Speaker 1: have an elevator issue where you just being friend? No,
Speaker 1: I just it was I was new to the job.
Speaker 1: You just you're like, oh, we'll be We're just going
Speaker 1: three floors. I'm sure it wasn't actually seventy two. But
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, but I mean I really I
Speaker 1: feel similar about my driving and my um and my
Speaker 1: parking garages. But I my husband kind of tricked me.
Speaker 1: He goes, teddy if I and I'm not even a
Speaker 1: car person. He's like, but if I get you a
Speaker 1: new car, do you promise to like start driving three
Speaker 1: new places a week? And I was like, well, I
Speaker 1: don't really want a new car. He's like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: getting a new car anyway. But I you know, I
Speaker 1: think you should start getting out of your comfortsen because
Speaker 1: I would only drive. Yeah, I will only drive. I
Speaker 1: used to only drive about ten places, like the places
Speaker 1: like my kids go to the grocery store, the barn,
Speaker 1: you know, my workout place you're going to park you yeah,
Speaker 1: But recently I have, you know, the new cars just
Speaker 1: added to it, where I've just said like, no, you're
Speaker 1: you don't need to take an uber to go do this,
Speaker 1: you know, But I do always have to do my
Speaker 1: investigation first. I have to figure out where the parking is,
Speaker 1: if there's ballet, if it's a parking garage. Like for
Speaker 1: a while, I was like, I will just take an uber.
Speaker 1: I can't. I came in an uber the first three
Speaker 1: times I came here, and then I was like, Teddy,
Speaker 1: you're wasting money, Like you could drive yourself. The parking
Speaker 1: is validated. Like I started having to justify it to
Speaker 1: myself because I'm like, this is actually a bigger problem
Speaker 1: because I want to be able to leave here and
Speaker 1: go run errands to the places I do like driving too,
Speaker 1: and I'm creating a bigger issue in my life. So
Speaker 1: I think that's the key. If your fear isn't making
Speaker 1: a bigger problem for you, Like I don't think stickers
Speaker 1: is a problem for my daughter. But sometimes not driving
Speaker 1: because I'm afraid of parking does become a problem for me,
Speaker 1: and I spend so much time thinking about the potential
Speaker 1: of having to drive that I'm wasting my time. Right,
Speaker 1: you could already be there. I could already be there,
Speaker 1: Like why am I worried about this so far in advance?
Speaker 1: Why am I trying to talk like I'm already I
Speaker 1: have to go to the dentist on Friday. I'm already
Speaker 1: Like maybe I should cancel the dentist, Like I don't
Speaker 1: know if I want to go because that driving. There's
Speaker 1: really hard parking in Beverly Hills. It is the uncertainty,
Speaker 1: the chaos of it. Because I did that. I hate
Speaker 1: going new places and where am I gonna park? What
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do? And then you do park somewhere it's expensive,
Speaker 1: and then how much time do you put into it?
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been thinking about this since last week.
Speaker 1: I've like almost called and canceled, Like it's not a
Speaker 1: huge thing, but it's in the back of my mind,
Speaker 1: Like should I just cancel? Like I don't really need
Speaker 1: to go. I got my teeth cleaned five months ago,
Speaker 1: but they told me to come every six months, like
Speaker 1: should I cancel? Actually, now that we've had this conversation,
Speaker 1: I'm definitely canceling. But but it's similar to addiction. They
Speaker 1: say with addiction is if it's affecting your daily life,
Speaker 1: that's what you need to get some help. If you're
Speaker 1: not going to work because of your addiction, that sort
Speaker 1: of thing. It's the same with a fear. If it's
Speaker 1: throwing you off your game, then you've got a problem.
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes it's okay to have a gut
Speaker 1: instinct and to trust it, because that's what I mean,
Speaker 1: even when we talked about in the past podcast where
Speaker 1: the cults where they take away your gut instinct and
Speaker 1: that's that's what saves our lives. So I think it's
Speaker 1: good to trust your gut instinct. But if your fear
Speaker 1: has now crossed over to every part of your life
Speaker 1: and is making it so that you can't do something,
Speaker 1: that's where you need to start that I forget what
Speaker 1: what's the therapy called where you you touch it or
Speaker 1: the um exposure exposure? Yes, and where you start the
Speaker 1: exposure therapy so that you start getting comfortable with your
Speaker 1: fear or even talking about it. Some people don't even
Speaker 1: talk about their fears. Oh many people don't. Uh, well,
Speaker 1: I'm afraid we're gonna have to and for today, Um,
Speaker 1: but I'm excited to get into next week's topic. Which
Speaker 1: am I allowed to bring it up? Yet? What is that?
Speaker 1: It's going to be cheating? It's gonna be cheating. I
Speaker 1: am very I want to talk to all different kind
Speaker 1: of cheaters. I want to talk to the man who cheats,
Speaker 1: the wife that cheats. I want to talk to the
Speaker 1: mistress and why she wants to cheat. I want to
Speaker 1: talk to I mean, I have so many questions. There's
Speaker 1: been a lot of cheating things in social media, and
Speaker 1: we need day and there are spouses that live in
Speaker 1: constant fear of cheating justified or not, who never out
Speaker 1: of the site. And also how much privacy or how
Speaker 1: much freedom do you need to be giving your partner,
Speaker 1: like is passwords and then track your phone? There's all
Speaker 1: of these things. Is everything fair game once you're married
Speaker 1: or is it? Do you still set boundaries? I can
Speaker 1: say with certainty I could hand over my phone to
Speaker 1: my husband at any point in time. If I said no,
Speaker 1: I would think there would be a problem, right, And
Speaker 1: what is cheating everybody you know, all this BS emotional cheap,
Speaker 1: it's all cheating. We got to get into it next week,
Speaker 1: micro cheating. We have things to talk about and we
Speaker 1: want to hear your question. So right the man? Okay,
Speaker 1: Teddy t at I heart radio dot com. Thanks guys,
Speaker 1: thanks for listening. Subscribe to or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: podcasts