Speaker 1: This is Teddy Teapot. Hi guys, Happy New Year, and
Speaker 1: not to put a big stinker on your resolutions, but
Speaker 1: I'm here to talk to you about why eight percent
Speaker 1: of New Year New Year's resolutions fail by February. Some
Speaker 1: of the reasons why our goals aren't clear. You feel overwhelmed,
Speaker 1: you feel discouraged, and you're not ready to change. Example,
Speaker 1: if you're running a marathon, would you just do it
Speaker 1: one day without working up to it. No, you would
Speaker 1: actually train for it. We were in the place where
Speaker 1: we want instant gratifications, so we set a grand goal
Speaker 1: for the year, not thinking through the commitments and little
Speaker 1: goals we need to do to actually reach them. If
Speaker 1: if you don't set yourself up to succeed at these goals,
Speaker 1: you will indeed slip, feel guilty, quit, and then be
Speaker 1: bummed about it. I am super excited to be co
Speaker 1: hosting today with Ed my Let. He is one of
Speaker 1: the top fifty wealthiest under fifty and entrepreneur and believes
Speaker 1: in fully maxing out at your life. Tell us a
Speaker 1: little bit about yourself. Well, thank you, Teddy. I think
Speaker 1: you said it pretty well. I'm barely under fifty anymore.
Speaker 1: When that was written, I was way under fifty. But
Speaker 1: I'm a life in business coach and I kind of
Speaker 1: just I've decided to spend the second half of my
Speaker 1: life helping people make their lives better. You know. I
Speaker 1: spend almost all my time doing that now, as you know.
Speaker 1: And you and your husband, Ed Winner a couple of
Speaker 1: my dearest friends. So it's great to be here with
Speaker 1: you today. Well, thank you, And so we're gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna ask some questions to add but we're also going
Speaker 1: to have Tanya rod On, who's going to talk to
Speaker 1: us about vision boards, which I have a lot of
Speaker 1: questions on. Well, I mean, I know tons of celebrities
Speaker 1: do vision boards, but I have actually never done one.
Speaker 1: And then we also have a life coach on uh
Speaker 1: Shari Healy. So Ed, I've been super vocal about how
Speaker 1: I feel about resolutions, which I don't make them because
Speaker 1: I fully don't believe that if you make some goal
Speaker 1: and you're saying I'm going to do this every day
Speaker 1: for the rest of the year, you're setting yourself up
Speaker 1: to fail. How do you actually feel? Well? I do both.
Speaker 1: I set up stuff at the beginning of the year,
Speaker 1: but I totally agree with you that if you have
Speaker 1: some one year plan but you're not doing something short term,
Speaker 1: you don't have a goal for every day or every week,
Speaker 1: you're probably gonna break down. I actually teach a thing
Speaker 1: called many days where I break my DAB day into
Speaker 1: literally three days. Six am to noon is one full day,
Speaker 1: noon to six pm is another day, and six pm
Speaker 1: to midnight's the third day. So the more you shrink
Speaker 1: time frames down of where you link your goals to,
Speaker 1: the more likely you are to achieve them. So I
Speaker 1: actually get twenty one days a week instead of seven,
Speaker 1: which is a way of managing my time. That is
Speaker 1: a huge difference for me in terms of productivity and
Speaker 1: stay in focused on my goal. So I have long
Speaker 1: term goals too, But the more you can shrink the
Speaker 1: time frame you're totally right, the more like you are
Speaker 1: to stay on them. Yeah. Like, I'll do my daily
Speaker 1: three non negotiables, which are the things that I'm doing
Speaker 1: no matter what. I also do my three daily goals,
Speaker 1: which sometimes I won't get to those, and then I'll
Speaker 1: know the next day, oh shoot, I need to move
Speaker 1: that to a non oshiable for tomorrow because I can't
Speaker 1: put off that phone call anymore. Or that decision to
Speaker 1: let that person go or whatever it may be. Um,
Speaker 1: you're really good at that, by the way, because I
Speaker 1: know you and your outstanding. One little tip on that,
Speaker 1: just to say everybody, is that you know you're gonna
Speaker 1: check your smart phone about three fifty times a day.
Speaker 1: If you're an achiever, it's like five hundred times a day.
Speaker 1: So to keep yourself on track. Instead of your screen
Speaker 1: saver being a picture of something that's from the past,
Speaker 1: put on that screensaver those goals for the day and
Speaker 1: you'll look at them three to five hundred times a
Speaker 1: day and it programs it in your mind. Right. So
Speaker 1: that's a huge tip that I do every single day.
Speaker 1: My goals are on my phone, So three or fifty
Speaker 1: times a day is like bang, bang bang bang, I'm
Speaker 1: seeing these things that are important to me. That is
Speaker 1: so smart because I'll put little um like timer reminders
Speaker 1: like do this by this time. But that is so
Speaker 1: every time I pick up my phone, I'm just looking
Speaker 1: at nonsense. Yeah, And the reason that's so important, by
Speaker 1: the way, those timers are huge to almost nobody teaches that.
Speaker 1: So it's super cool that you're talking about that because
Speaker 1: I do that too. I put timers through my day,
Speaker 1: through my month, through my year, reminding me on stuff.
Speaker 1: So that's a huge thing. And the other thing is,
Speaker 1: here's the reason that's important. Your thoughts every single day
Speaker 1: are identical to the previous day. You have nine percent
Speaker 1: of your thoughts are variable every day. That's it. So
Speaker 1: the difference in shifting your life is these nine percent
Speaker 1: of your thoughts. What is it that you think differently
Speaker 1: Tuesday than you thought on a Monday, And so that's
Speaker 1: how you shift your life. The rest of them are
Speaker 1: identical every single day. You speak the same exact it's
Speaker 1: anxiety timing now today I know it is for you
Speaker 1: and a little bit for me too. That's all right,
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's how you change it. And what is
Speaker 1: the best advice you could give someone vice that says, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: new decade, I want to change X, Y and Z
Speaker 1: by the by the end of the year. Huge thing
Speaker 1: I would say to you is that, and we'll talk
Speaker 1: about this later, is you're only going to be consistent
Speaker 1: with what you believe your worth, which is your identity.
Speaker 1: But here's the deal. Goal setting is really something that's
Speaker 1: not evolved in like fifty years, and I'm writing about
Speaker 1: it right now. The old goal setting ideas, hey write
Speaker 1: your goals down, read them twice a day, read them
Speaker 1: out loud, and have a reason why. Those are all
Speaker 1: really powerful things. But it's like nineteen twenty Napoleon Hill stuff.
Speaker 1: The modern version of it is this your You have
Speaker 1: to have your thoughts and your feelings in alignment or
Speaker 1: in congruency, so you have a conscious thought. Here's what
Speaker 1: happens for most people there they think, which is your
Speaker 1: conscious mind your body. What you feel is your unconscious mind.
Speaker 1: So you write down all these things that you think
Speaker 1: you want, except you're thinking of them, and the minute
Speaker 1: you think that, you're in the same body as before,
Speaker 1: the same feeling. Like I want to make a hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, I want to lose twenty pounds, but the
Speaker 1: feeling is I'm not gonna do it. So your feelings
Speaker 1: and your thoughts aren't in alignment or in congruency, You're
Speaker 1: really not going to change you. So the way you
Speaker 1: change you is to get your feelings in alignment with
Speaker 1: your thoughts. So how do you do it really quickly?
Speaker 1: A huge tip, and I'm writing about this right now,
Speaker 1: is I coach a lot of athletes, as you know,
Speaker 1: in their mental game, athletes are the best in the
Speaker 1: world that achieving their goals. The reason is they do
Speaker 1: these three things. Number One one, you have a thought
Speaker 1: of the goal that you want, you have to get
Speaker 1: your body in a peak state when you're having that thought.
Speaker 1: So I want you to do one thing when you're
Speaker 1: doing you're working out or yoga or stretching, or even
Speaker 1: taking a shower. If you ever noticed, you're in the shower,
Speaker 1: the water hits you, you're like in a better state.
Speaker 1: You have better thoughts on the shower. That's because your
Speaker 1: feelings have changed. So while you're in a forty five
Speaker 1: minute work I'll give yourself the gift for two minutes
Speaker 1: during that workout of going through the thoughts of what
Speaker 1: your goals want to be and sinking it in your
Speaker 1: body when it's in a peak state. And what happens
Speaker 1: then is the feeling of achievement is already in the
Speaker 1: body at the same time you think. And if you
Speaker 1: do that over and over, you're rewiring your thoughts and
Speaker 1: your feelings to be in alignment huge and which is
Speaker 1: making yourself worth so much higher, and you're literally changing
Speaker 1: you Otherwise you just think I want this. I want
Speaker 1: this in the same body, same unconscious mind, you feel
Speaker 1: the same way. The third element that athletes do a
Speaker 1: great job is they visualize the goal happening as if
Speaker 1: it's happened, and they, if you think about, they celebrate
Speaker 1: the touchdown, they celebrate the home run, they celebrate the
Speaker 1: field goal, whatever it is. So the third element is
Speaker 1: get your thoughts and your feelings in alignment, So be
Speaker 1: thinking your goals while you're moving your body. This is
Speaker 1: a huge difference than reading them stagnant. And third, see
Speaker 1: that happening and flood yourself with gratitude for the achievement
Speaker 1: of something that hasn't existed yet. And the more you're
Speaker 1: flooding yourself with the feeling of gratitude for the achievement
Speaker 1: of it, your feelings and thoughts are in alignment, you
Speaker 1: are remaking you. And that's how you actually manifest something.
Speaker 1: As those three things combined, Yeah, you couldn't be more right.
Speaker 1: Gratitude is key. When I wake up mornings and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe I have to do this. I am
Speaker 1: so irritated I have to do this. I'm in a
Speaker 1: crap mood all day. I'm going through the motions motions
Speaker 1: versus waking up saying I get to do this. Yes,
Speaker 1: I am so grateful that I can get up, get
Speaker 1: on this peloton bike, get my kids ready for school,
Speaker 1: drop them up, like whatever it may be. Like, we
Speaker 1: get to do these things, and we are in such
Speaker 1: a better place than so many other people. And take
Speaker 1: it for granted. You take it for granted, and then
Speaker 1: also flood yourself with gratitude for the things you want
Speaker 1: before you've received them. Trust me, that remakes It remakes
Speaker 1: your cellular basis of who you think you are. So
Speaker 1: I watch you do it. You're on that peloton, or
Speaker 1: you're in the you're working out in the morning, and
Speaker 1: I know you're thinking about your goals for that day.
Speaker 1: Well you're doing it. Most people separate, they wake up,
Speaker 1: they read their goals, so they think things when their
Speaker 1: body is not in a peak state. Then they go
Speaker 1: move their body. But don't think those thoughts link them
Speaker 1: together and you start changing you. That'd be the hugest
Speaker 1: thing you can give yourself the gift of. And if
Speaker 1: you're exercise is just taking a walk. If you don't exercise,
Speaker 1: do it in the shower because that water changes your
Speaker 1: state and changes your feeling. That's such a good idea.
Speaker 1: And I mean so often we're looking to others to
Speaker 1: motivate us. And if if you're not willing to commit
Speaker 1: to yourself, it doesn't matter what I say, what you say,
Speaker 1: what anybody says, because then we're just stuck in our
Speaker 1: own negative feelings of like who's going to do this
Speaker 1: for me? Yeah, you're totally right, And that's like, that's
Speaker 1: the lowest level motivation. Is someone else moving you. The
Speaker 1: way you really change yourself is you don't even get
Speaker 1: really what you want in life. You really get what
Speaker 1: you believe you deserve, and you get your standards. So
Speaker 1: if you can change your personal standards of what you
Speaker 1: believe your worth or what you will accept from yourself,
Speaker 1: that's when you won't need someone else to move you.
Speaker 1: But if you don't change your standard, you don't change
Speaker 1: your worth. That you're constantly looking at somebody that you
Speaker 1: think is worth more than you to get you to
Speaker 1: do something right, that's the problem. So I have a question.
Speaker 1: So for me, when it came to changing my life,
Speaker 1: I almost had to hit like a rock bottom where
Speaker 1: I felt really alone, really sad, where I was just
Speaker 1: like struggling, and I was at that place where like,
Speaker 1: Who's going to do this for me? And finally I
Speaker 1: was like, I this, I'm changing my life today. I
Speaker 1: don't care what you say, what you do, what your
Speaker 1: thoughts are. This is for me. But other than kind
Speaker 1: of hitting that breaking point, how do people start elevating
Speaker 1: their self worth? Yeah, so self worth is through keeping
Speaker 1: the first off, the way you get self worth is
Speaker 1: by getting self confidence. Self confidence is something you can
Speaker 1: get right now. You can start building your self confidence
Speaker 1: right now. Self confidence is the process of keeping the
Speaker 1: promises that you make to yourself. That's all self confidences.
Speaker 1: So when I meet somebody who doesn't have a lot
Speaker 1: of confidence, because I've been there where I had none.
Speaker 1: I had consistently not kept promises I made to me.
Speaker 1: I didn't say on my nutrition plans, I didn't make
Speaker 1: the amount of phone calls in my business I said
Speaker 1: I would. I wouldn't even get up when I said
Speaker 1: I was going to get up. I couldn't trust me.
Speaker 1: Lack of self confidence is lack of self trust. And
Speaker 1: so the more you just stack the day in your favor,
Speaker 1: where you do the things you can control and keep
Speaker 1: these promises you make to yourself, the more you begin
Speaker 1: to transform yourself, often it's now you can go to
Speaker 1: work on your identity and your worth, and your worth
Speaker 1: is going to govern everything in your life. Your identity
Speaker 1: is like the thermostat sitting on the wall in this room, right,
Speaker 1: it's regulating the temperature in here. It's not the external
Speaker 1: temperature outside that regulates this place. If it's eighty degrees outside,
Speaker 1: it's still gonna be seventy four and here because the
Speaker 1: thermostats set there, right. Most people think it's the external
Speaker 1: things in their life. It's not at your internal thermostat,
Speaker 1: your identity that governs everything. And the problem that people
Speaker 1: have is that's why they gain weight back, that's why
Speaker 1: they lose money they make, That's why relationships are good,
Speaker 1: and then they're not good. If your identity is seventy
Speaker 1: five degrees of happiness, let's just say, and life starts
Speaker 1: to get better at eight five degrees, you will find
Speaker 1: a way to unconsciously turn the air conditioning on cool
Speaker 1: your life back to that regulated identity. Same thing as
Speaker 1: if it goes bad, some of us gain a little
Speaker 1: bit more weight than is what we really think we're worth.
Speaker 1: We will heat our life back up and lose that
Speaker 1: weight to seventy five degrees. So the whole key to
Speaker 1: life is all the other stuff is great. You've got
Speaker 1: to change that internal thermostat. How do you do it?
Speaker 1: Two ways? One who you're around, the power of your associations,
Speaker 1: who you listen, two on social media, the things you're reading,
Speaker 1: and who your closest colleagues or friends are around you
Speaker 1: every day supporting you. The second thing is, in a
Speaker 1: short window of time, do something psycho seriously in a
Speaker 1: short little window of time. Man, Okay, So like, um,
Speaker 1: dramatically change something? So um. If for me in business,
Speaker 1: if it was I was making three or four phone
Speaker 1: calls a day, I'm gonna make fifteen a day. I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about something that's not maintainable, like going to
Speaker 1: the gym for three hours. But if you shock yourself
Speaker 1: and you deliver on it, it's like a new water
Speaker 1: mark in the pool. You're like, oh, that's not who
Speaker 1: I am anymore. So little bursts of something really significant,
Speaker 1: we've all had that happened. You've all had a couple
Speaker 1: of little moments in your life at some point where bam,
Speaker 1: something in a little window happened and you never went
Speaker 1: back to that old person again. It changes your identity.
Speaker 1: And so for me, I'm just feeding myself good People's
Speaker 1: why to hang around you and your husband? Right, Like
Speaker 1: people like that all in my life that are positive
Speaker 1: to me. Like I'm not saying this, I was thinking
Speaker 1: about it driving up here today. I really enjoy when
Speaker 1: we're together. And I told you the other night we
Speaker 1: were we went to a football game, Like, I want
Speaker 1: to do this more like people that just feed your energy.
Speaker 1: So many of you have people in your life that
Speaker 1: deplete your energy. They drain you all the time. I know,
Speaker 1: I never understand when people want to be around people
Speaker 1: so that they can feel smarter than them, so they
Speaker 1: can feel like they are in this higher place. I
Speaker 1: want to constantly surround myself with people I can learn
Speaker 1: from that make me laugh that I like, I can
Speaker 1: talk to you and I am seriously engaged in conversation.
Speaker 1: I know if I'm checked out from a conversation, it's
Speaker 1: because I'm hanging around the wrong people. Bingo. See here's
Speaker 1: every everyone says this to me. I just want people
Speaker 1: to accept me for who I am. I don't want that. No,
Speaker 1: I don't either want friends. I want people who expect
Speaker 1: more of me than I currently am, but love me
Speaker 1: as I am. And that's one of the best things.
Speaker 1: And that's why I love your wife, And that's what's
Speaker 1: so great about my husband, is like they're not going
Speaker 1: to just let us sit there and be complacent wre
Speaker 1: we are. And this is a common thing that everyone
Speaker 1: always asked me, like how do you wake up just
Speaker 1: excited to do it every day? And I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 1: You are crazy if you think that is the case.
Speaker 1: None of us are, no matter who it is that
Speaker 1: you're listening to on you know, podcasts or social media
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. We are waking up and making
Speaker 1: the decision to fight for ourselves so huge. And I
Speaker 1: think someone like you and me, if people knew us better,
Speaker 1: and I know you talk a lot about it, I
Speaker 1: tried to as well. I think the reason we seem
Speaker 1: like we know more about this stuff as you and
Speaker 1: I had to acquire these skills just to be like
Speaker 1: baseline functional. Like when I was younger, I had no
Speaker 1: confidence right, I couldn't communicate, I was a little guy.
Speaker 1: I needed to get some of these skills just to
Speaker 1: feel decent about myself. And then what happens. I got
Speaker 1: addicted to learning how to be better. But you gotta
Speaker 1: have a couple of friends. Everybody to make a little uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: like like the type of friends that you know, maybe
Speaker 1: you clean up before they come over the house, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like that you don't want them
Speaker 1: to see you like you are all the time. And
Speaker 1: I have a lot of those people. They love me,
Speaker 1: but they expect more of me. I'm a little, tiny,
Speaker 1: little scoch uncomfortable around them, and it makes me want
Speaker 1: to be better. So that's how you start to change,
Speaker 1: right And if you don't have those friends, then it's
Speaker 1: picking two or three people on social media or podcasts
Speaker 1: that you go, I'm gonna pour myself with this person.
Speaker 1: They're gonna virtually mentor and affect me that way. And
Speaker 1: I think it's also okay to show your vulnerability, Like
Speaker 1: I could feel myself at the beginning of this podcast.
Speaker 1: My voice was nervous because you were here today, and
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, why do I sound different than
Speaker 1: I normally do at the intros? And I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's because I'm doing this with Ed. So instead of
Speaker 1: having that moment where I don't ever want you to
Speaker 1: see that. I want to say it to you because
Speaker 1: then it takes that anxiety away from it. I've now,
Speaker 1: I've told you there's no moment where you're going to
Speaker 1: be like judging me or I don't have to think
Speaker 1: what is ed thinking because I put it out there,
Speaker 1: and so I think you do the same. Where if
Speaker 1: you're just vulnerable, you take away so many elements in
Speaker 1: your mind. Oh my gosh, so vulnerability. I love you. Um,
Speaker 1: I mean, I like, I do this for free, hundred
Speaker 1: days a year, right, Like this is great for me.
Speaker 1: So vulnerability, you know, like they say they just say, hey,
Speaker 1: pot is a gateway drug. Whether that's true or not,
Speaker 1: I don't know, right, but they used to say that
Speaker 1: a vulnerability is a gateway emotion. Vulnerability magnifies and gives
Speaker 1: you access to way more magnify fight emotions on the
Speaker 1: other side, If you'll just be vulnerable with yourself and
Speaker 1: with other people on the other side of that is
Speaker 1: more connection is more, joy is more, love is more, achievement,
Speaker 1: more significance. The lack of vulnerability kind of hiding in
Speaker 1: your fears. It's robs you from all the things you
Speaker 1: really want. So I am a vulnerable person like I
Speaker 1: do deal with insecurity. I am pretty introverted naturally, right.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's natural or I learned it,
Speaker 1: but I have all kinds of screwed up. If you
Speaker 1: knew how screwed up my mind was, you probably never
Speaker 1: listen anything I said. Right, So, so I like that
Speaker 1: you do that, and when we're together, we do it too.
Speaker 1: So I'm a huge fan of vulnerability, and I think
Speaker 1: what happens if you're not vulnerable, then you end up
Speaker 1: putting up a shell and people see that then they
Speaker 1: can't relate to. And uh, I know Ed and I
Speaker 1: are on a roll, and like you can't quite get
Speaker 1: us to be quiet when when we're on a roll.
Speaker 1: But we do need to take a little break. And
Speaker 1: when we come back, we're gonna have Tanya rad who
Speaker 1: I love, love love. She is on scrubbing In with
Speaker 1: Becca Telly, and she is hilarious and smart and such
Speaker 1: a good person. I can not wait to hear about
Speaker 1: her vision boards. All right, I know we have more
Speaker 1: questions for Ed, but first we've got to talk to
Speaker 1: my girl Tanya. I love her. Hi are you here? Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm here. How's it going? Babes? You're on with me
Speaker 1: and ed my lab. Great to have you. Hi, thanks
Speaker 1: for having me. Okay, so we need I need I
Speaker 1: know all of the celebs love the vision boards. I've
Speaker 1: actually never done a vision board, so I need you
Speaker 1: to walk us through it. I also I'm going to
Speaker 1: grill you on like what's on your vision board? Um,
Speaker 1: that's like actually surprises me that you've never made a
Speaker 1: vision board because this is like so you maybe you'll
Speaker 1: make it me. Let's see. Okay, so basically what you
Speaker 1: do and this is how I do what you can
Speaker 1: do anyway, but this is the way that I found
Speaker 1: it to be. Like the most successful is I think
Speaker 1: of like one word that I want to embody for
Speaker 1: the year. So I just really like think about that
Speaker 1: word and I'm really intentional about that word. And then
Speaker 1: I like make all my gold and like aspirations, and
Speaker 1: then you basically just kind of find photos and I
Speaker 1: make sure I put the word really like prominent on
Speaker 1: the board, and then like photos and images that kind
Speaker 1: of represents like different goals that you have. What would
Speaker 1: you recommend to somebody just starting out, you know, like me,
Speaker 1: like I journal, I'm very into journaling, But what would
Speaker 1: you recommend to somebody just to get started. How do
Speaker 1: you even find your word? Just think about, like think
Speaker 1: about something that maybe you you just really want to
Speaker 1: filter every decision that like in your life, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like a word that is kind of
Speaker 1: encompasses the path that you want for like the year.
Speaker 1: It can be an easy word, like even if it's
Speaker 1: just happiness, you know what I mean, what I'm doing
Speaker 1: whatever makes you happy for that year. Um, if you
Speaker 1: want it to be something like if you want more confidence,
Speaker 1: have your word be confident, you know, like something that
Speaker 1: you feel like you just want more of in your life. Tanya,
Speaker 1: I love this one word strategy. I've heard vision boards
Speaker 1: and I've heard about the one word strategy, but I've
Speaker 1: not heard them put together ever before. I just think
Speaker 1: it helps kind of just point like I think sometimes
Speaker 1: vision boards can be overwhelming. It's like, oh, you see
Speaker 1: a picture of somebody on vacation, Like, oh, I want
Speaker 1: to go on vacation, so I'll put that on there.
Speaker 1: But it's like because I can ask to my radiance
Speaker 1: of the year, like maybe not, you know, so big
Speaker 1: time agree. I love vision boards, but one of the
Speaker 1: things is you've got like something for your relationship, something
Speaker 1: for money, something about where you want to live. And
Speaker 1: it's just sort of this hodgepodge of some something you
Speaker 1: look at. But if it's intentional, like the way you're
Speaker 1: describing it, I love that. So everything on your board,
Speaker 1: just so everyone's kind of taking a starge of everything
Speaker 1: on the board is reflected somehow for this word that
Speaker 1: you have for the year. And then how often do
Speaker 1: you look at this thing? And where do you keep it?
Speaker 1: So I keep mine in my kitchen so I see
Speaker 1: it every single day, and then at the end of
Speaker 1: the year, I'll like move that one in. So I
Speaker 1: have a collection I've been making instance, like I've been
Speaker 1: making it for a topic thing for seven years, so
Speaker 1: I keep them all. And what's really interesting is like
Speaker 1: sometimes and maybe I don't get like achieve a goal
Speaker 1: that here, but I'll achieve it like two or three
Speaker 1: years later, and that's kind of like cool to see
Speaker 1: kind of how long it takes or like you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like dreams, the goals that you have
Speaker 1: might not happen in here, but like they happen eventually. Big, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's happened for me to like three years later, I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I set this thing up in two thousand and eighteen
Speaker 1: or whatever. So the thing that this does so well
Speaker 1: I want everyone to kind of get and I want
Speaker 1: you to speak to this too, is that most people
Speaker 1: get the same emotions every day. So if you're somebody
Speaker 1: who finds gratitude and happiness in peace, you sort of
Speaker 1: find a way to use your word, which is brilliant.
Speaker 1: The world is filtered to you to find you those things.
Speaker 1: It's called the reticular activating system right in your brain.
Speaker 1: And then but what most people or the other ones
Speaker 1: you get anxiety, worry, fear, anger, and those are the
Speaker 1: emotions you get every day. The awesome thing about this
Speaker 1: when you combine this one word with the board, is
Speaker 1: you're telling yourself I'm gonna find gratitude or I'm gonna
Speaker 1: find happiness or I'm gonna find radiance every single day.
Speaker 1: You're actually taking control the emotions have you found. Because
Speaker 1: of this, you see more of that stuff, at least
Speaker 1: on a weekly basis than you did before. Like you
Speaker 1: see it, I think so, And I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm human and so like obviously some days I have
Speaker 1: days that like I'm not radiant, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: especially when I'm pre period, like I'm pretty not radiant.
Speaker 1: I think at the end, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I think I really do kind of just like focus
Speaker 1: on that and I kind of think like whatever I'm doing,
Speaker 1: I don't just do things to do them. I do
Speaker 1: them with perfect you know what I mean. I think
Speaker 1: that's at a good point. Yeah, that helps a lot.
Speaker 1: And do you can you add to it? So like
Speaker 1: you make your board, but let's say your three months
Speaker 1: into the year and you're like, wow, how did I
Speaker 1: miss this? Or it's like once it's up, it's done,
Speaker 1: I think. So, I mean, I think you can always
Speaker 1: add to it. I usually don't just because I cover
Speaker 1: my board and I'm kind of like a meat break,
Speaker 1: so I don't want to touch it when it's done.
Speaker 1: But I have added things, so like sometimes i'll right
Speaker 1: like right goals on the back of my board, like
Speaker 1: with like my handwriting. You know, no, I think it's
Speaker 1: so great And how did you how did you start?
Speaker 1: Like who was the person that told you about it?
Speaker 1: Or where did you read it? So if we have
Speaker 1: listeners who want to start doing it, they've listened to
Speaker 1: this podcast, but they're like, Okay, I still need more
Speaker 1: information or I want to see picture examples or whatever
Speaker 1: it is. Where should they go? Um? Well, I started
Speaker 1: doing it because a girlfriend of mine um did it
Speaker 1: one year and like literally she manifested her board like
Speaker 1: it was crazy. And so that was kind of and
Speaker 1: like I went through a really bad breakup and I
Speaker 1: just kind of felt like I was just kind of
Speaker 1: very like I was living my life in a hamster wheel,
Speaker 1: like I wasn't doing anything intentional. I was just kind
Speaker 1: of living my life and I wanted more purpose. So
Speaker 1: it kind of felt like the perfect Like what's the
Speaker 1: word synergy of everything? Um? So I started doing them
Speaker 1: at that time, and I think I have a bunch
Speaker 1: of like examples. I posted them on my blog on
Speaker 1: on it with Ryan dot Com for the Morning Show.
Speaker 1: So I have like tons of pictures of like my
Speaker 1: past vision boards and stuff like that up there. Super cool.
Speaker 1: I Uh, I love that word synergy. So I want
Speaker 1: to ask you something about maybe an idea on this
Speaker 1: because you use words I love like intentional and awareness, right,
Speaker 1: Like it changes your intention when you're just more aware,
Speaker 1: Like hey, I'm gonna be radiant, I'm gonna be happiness,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be joy I'm gonna be powerful whatever that
Speaker 1: thing is. What about like, and I'm curious because I
Speaker 1: I've done vision boards, but what if a group of women,
Speaker 1: for example, want to get together and have an evening
Speaker 1: where they do this together and they sort of you know,
Speaker 1: mastermind and brainstorm together and talk out loud about some
Speaker 1: of their intentions. Or do you think this is something
Speaker 1: you should do personally in a quiet place by yourself. Um,
Speaker 1: I've actually seen so. I feel like a lot of
Speaker 1: people will post like their vision board parties and tag
Speaker 1: me in it because I'm so vocal and like so
Speaker 1: like with such a big thing for me. So they
Speaker 1: have like some girls do, they do um cheese boards
Speaker 1: and vision boards, so they're like have a bunch of
Speaker 1: girls come together and like have cheese and wine and
Speaker 1: like get like a fun thing and go through magazines
Speaker 1: and cut them out. I think it's important to like
Speaker 1: have a conversation with yourself and kind of figure out
Speaker 1: your golden things on your own. But I think making
Speaker 1: an actual board is super fun to do with people.
Speaker 1: Maybe we should have do a double host and we'll
Speaker 1: have one with Teddy te pot and scrubbing in and
Speaker 1: we'll do a little vision boarding. I love it. I
Speaker 1: literally like, I love it so much, to the point where,
Speaker 1: like a lot of my New Year's these plans have
Speaker 1: been making vision boards with some of my friends. Well good, well,
Speaker 1: don't leave me out of that. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for taking the time to talk with us today, and
Speaker 1: I'll just be texting you after to set it up.
Speaker 1: You're so welcome. I love you so much. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: I couldn't see that person. I have to get to
Speaker 1: my dentist. I know, I know. Well, we'll see you soon, okay,
Speaker 1: I love you, love you. So now we're gonna bring
Speaker 1: on Sharie Healy and she's a possibilitarian, you know everything
Speaker 1: at what's that? I don't know what that is? All right,
Speaker 1: but she's gonna tell us. Wait a bit, all right,
Speaker 1: now we're getting Shari he Leon. She is a possibilitarian,
Speaker 1: which I need to learn what that is exactly. But
Speaker 1: she's also an amazing life coach. Hello, you are on
Speaker 1: with myself and Ed my lett. Hey, great to have
Speaker 1: you so first. We love the way it sounds, but
Speaker 1: I don't exactly know what it means. Can you explain
Speaker 1: what a possibilitarian is? Yes, it's somebody who believes that
Speaker 1: anything is possible and we'll stop it nothing to help
Speaker 1: you go what you want. Well, I like that. I
Speaker 1: like that, and I get a lot of kind of
Speaker 1: push back from people because I help people change their
Speaker 1: life when it comes to UM fitness and their exercise
Speaker 1: routines and their diet, and people are always calling me
Speaker 1: a life coach, and I'm like, I'm not necessarily a
Speaker 1: life coach, but when you're feeling good about yourself, you
Speaker 1: start changing other things in your life. Can you explain
Speaker 1: to me about what a life coaches? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I think you're right like that. We get you know,
Speaker 1: everybody's trying to decide what sector of life are we
Speaker 1: in charge of or how are we helping cause change?
Speaker 1: And I think the simplest definition for a life coach
Speaker 1: of somebody who helps you get from where you are
Speaker 1: to where you want to be, you know. And I
Speaker 1: didn't specialize in on one area, like you are so
Speaker 1: successfully helping people change their bodies and their health, and
Speaker 1: I feel like I really look across the board at
Speaker 1: all the areas of life, so that's where I might
Speaker 1: fall more, you know, effectively in that with that label
Speaker 1: as life coach, because I'm looking at stuff across the boards,
Speaker 1: from body to relationships to work to all of it. Shari,
Speaker 1: what do you think? I'm curious because you cross all
Speaker 1: those different spectrums. Underneath all that someone comes to you for,
Speaker 1: you know, something on their body, or there's something bothering
Speaker 1: them in their mind, or they want to achieve something.
Speaker 1: What do you think underneath that they really want? You
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, they what they think they want,
Speaker 1: and then there's what they really want. Best question ever, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that we were born, all of us to
Speaker 1: experience love and joy. I have never been able to
Speaker 1: get anybody to argue with me on that, because I
Speaker 1: think we all want it, you know, and we think
Speaker 1: if we make just you know, the next million, or
Speaker 1: if we use the weight, or if we you know,
Speaker 1: do all these things, that somehow will be loved and
Speaker 1: we'll be happy. I'm so glad you said that, because
Speaker 1: I think everybody listen to this. You know, there's the
Speaker 1: things you think you want, but then if you dig
Speaker 1: a little bit deeper, why do you really want them?
Speaker 1: The more you can get to the root of what
Speaker 1: you actually want, the more you can get clear on
Speaker 1: getting it. So that's that's awesome answer. You're right, because
Speaker 1: you could tick off all those boxes and still not
Speaker 1: be happy if you don't know how to get that Now.
Speaker 1: I'm way more interested in helping people crack the code
Speaker 1: on those things without having achieved the other outward staff
Speaker 1: and then know of it. Yeah, when you get that
Speaker 1: house on the see, you know, you already know how
Speaker 1: to happy with the one in town, you know, so
Speaker 1: you'll be great. And oftentimes on our route to get
Speaker 1: what we want or we think we want, we talk
Speaker 1: to ourselves so terribly. How do you teach people to
Speaker 1: up their self talk and like, what are some things
Speaker 1: that they can do to change it? That's the truth, man.
Speaker 1: I think that is where I spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time because you can like I'm doing this with a
Speaker 1: lot of clients right now setting out for twenty and
Speaker 1: designing the year and thinking about what we want and
Speaker 1: and I say to them, You've got to figure out
Speaker 1: which part of you is in charge first, Like, if
Speaker 1: I'm going to go about reaching any goal and my
Speaker 1: relationships or my worker and with my body or my
Speaker 1: well being in general, I've got to figure out what's
Speaker 1: the most resourceful part of me that when things get
Speaker 1: to us and I don't want to keep going that
Speaker 1: I don't struggle with, you know, the little girl inside,
Speaker 1: or the critic or all those different parts of ourselves
Speaker 1: that might throw us off the path. So I think
Speaker 1: we start with the negative self talk when we're really little.
Speaker 1: And it could be that we've internalized the parents voice,
Speaker 1: or we had a particular moment where there was a
Speaker 1: lot of shame or pain, and that voice becomes a
Speaker 1: way of survival for us. So we try to avoid
Speaker 1: pain by causing pain. And it doesn't make a lot
Speaker 1: of logical sense, but that's because it's in the reptilian brain, right,
Speaker 1: it's in the stress center that we developed this way
Speaker 1: of causing pain to ourselves before anyone else. Can you know?
Speaker 1: It was so good one thing about the way to
Speaker 1: ask you on that because I let you get on
Speaker 1: something huge there. You're not born unhappy, right, You kind
Speaker 1: of learn this behavior in these thoughts. And you said
Speaker 1: something so profound right there, that little girl, And oftentimes,
Speaker 1: you know, it's my my belief that you're learning these
Speaker 1: thoughts and these behaviors from things you inherited from your
Speaker 1: parents or experiences that happened when you're kind of defenseless
Speaker 1: emotionally as a child, right, And I think it's important
Speaker 1: because tell me if you agree with this, because that
Speaker 1: lets you know that you can learn your way out
Speaker 1: of it too. It's not something you were You know
Speaker 1: we weren't. You're not an unhappy person. You've learned to
Speaker 1: be unhappy. Don't you think you nailed it? I mean,
Speaker 1: the day we learned about neural plasticity was like the
Speaker 1: greatest day ever because we know that this stuff can
Speaker 1: be changed. And why the possibilitarian right, Because I know
Speaker 1: this stuff can be slipped. And it's by recognizing at
Speaker 1: first and making the choice that I don't have to
Speaker 1: buy this anymore. I'm not here to struggle. And that
Speaker 1: that voice I liken it to, like, you know, depending
Speaker 1: on when you were software, Like you've got an app
Speaker 1: on your desktop that's old and you can literally update
Speaker 1: it and decide to identify more with the voice that
Speaker 1: comes from your heart, Like your heart would never talk
Speaker 1: to you like that, so you put your hand on
Speaker 1: your heart. I don't know if you guys have heard
Speaker 1: about heart math, but it's a great hack. I'm all
Speaker 1: about little tools and ways that we can make change
Speaker 1: happen quickly and the heart masks if you put your
Speaker 1: hand on your heart and you kind of just gently
Speaker 1: push in and rub in a circle for three minutes.
Speaker 1: In three minutes, either it's a biochemical reaction that has
Speaker 1: you move right out of that critics voice, right out
Speaker 1: of the little girl or whatever part of you've been threatened,
Speaker 1: and get right back into your high self. And just
Speaker 1: three minutes. That is such a good tool. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: what if hand, what if the negative self talk isn't you,
Speaker 1: it's somebody in your life. So it's your husband or
Speaker 1: it's your boss, and they are just constantly on you
Speaker 1: and you're doing your best to you know, elevate yourself,
Speaker 1: to elevate your mood. But this person is just you know, relentless.
Speaker 1: Oftentimes my clients, that will be their biggest reason to
Speaker 1: quit because my husband isn't happy that I'm changing my life.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's a rough one. You know. There's an opportunity,
Speaker 1: I think with everyone to stop and say, hey, I
Speaker 1: got I don't want to have this kind of relationship
Speaker 1: or this kind of communication isn't serving us. Do we
Speaker 1: want to do something different? And I think you know,
Speaker 1: when you get into a relationship with somebody who's also
Speaker 1: in survival mode, who's in that fight or flight, and
Speaker 1: you have to relate to them from that place. It's
Speaker 1: their communication ways, right, their tools. We could say, hey,
Speaker 1: let's take a minute, we could practice non violent communication,
Speaker 1: or I feel statements and just recognize this person is
Speaker 1: hurt and I believe hurt people hurt people, right, So
Speaker 1: if this person and it can't deal with their hurt
Speaker 1: or can't take responsibility for the fact that they're always
Speaker 1: communicating from a fight or fight place, then there's going
Speaker 1: to have to be boundary setting because you can't have
Speaker 1: somebody on one side who's doing all this hard work
Speaker 1: trying to go for the love and joy and be
Speaker 1: thwarted at all turns, you know, and not have that
Speaker 1: experience because somebody else just doesn't have the skills to
Speaker 1: treat them. Well. Yeah, I second that I asked people.
Speaker 1: I could ask that question often too. And you know,
Speaker 1: one of the things that I don't know that my
Speaker 1: wife's always agreed with all the different things I've tried
Speaker 1: to do. In fact, I know she didn't believe in
Speaker 1: them right some of them, but she's always believed in me.
Speaker 1: And I think that sometimes in these relationships, if you're
Speaker 1: getting that one, you should never tolerate it. We don't
Speaker 1: say this enough. Don't tolerate that you treat you teach
Speaker 1: people how to treat you. And the more and more
Speaker 1: you tolerate, and except that you're going to continue to
Speaker 1: get it. There's just has to be someone in this
Speaker 1: space go no, don't tolerate that. That's it. You shouldn't
Speaker 1: be with that person if they talk to you like that.
Speaker 1: And I think one of the ways that you uncover
Speaker 1: and I'm a trying to be black and white, I'm
Speaker 1: about breaking up a marriage. But one of the power
Speaker 1: questions to ask your spouse is, I know you don't
Speaker 1: believe in this program I'm on, or maybe you don't
Speaker 1: agree in this believe in this business, but do you
Speaker 1: believe in me? Because if you can't give me the
Speaker 1: y s to believing in me, we don't have a relationship.
Speaker 1: And so if you can get back to that pharament,
Speaker 1: yes I believe in you, Yes I love you, but
Speaker 1: I've got some differences with some of the choices you're making. Well,
Speaker 1: now you can have an elevated conversation, and so I
Speaker 1: think that's a powerful question. To ask somebody when they're
Speaker 1: treating you that way is just stop it. Move it
Speaker 1: off of the business or the weight loss program or
Speaker 1: the transformation you're on, and pull it back to you.
Speaker 1: Do you love and believe in me? And you'll get
Speaker 1: your answer the en. If it's a loving and believing answer,
Speaker 1: now you've got the basis to have that elevated conversation.
Speaker 1: If it's a I don't know, then you guys are
Speaker 1: in a dangerous space in your relationship and you need
Speaker 1: to be evaluating it. At least I think there's a great,
Speaker 1: you know way to just tiny shift, but it could
Speaker 1: change everything. To listen curiously, listen to learn. If your
Speaker 1: partner is getting triggered by your change, to stop and say, hey,
Speaker 1: this is bringing up for you, just get curious, and
Speaker 1: the same thing for the partner who's threatened by you
Speaker 1: making changes, to wonder and go in with. I may
Speaker 1: not agree or disagree, but that again is repilian. That's
Speaker 1: like in our DNA to just agree or disagree. It's
Speaker 1: a survival way of listening. Where I was more interested
Speaker 1: in a conscious level of listening, saying babe, what is
Speaker 1: this new program giving you? Why are you proving this change,
Speaker 1: tell me what's in it. If we can just get
Speaker 1: curious about each other, we can always stay connected. It
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be I agree or disagree. I just
Speaker 1: want to know you. And I think something that often
Speaker 1: happens when you're in a relationship for a long time,
Speaker 1: if your partner has consistently seen you not follow through,
Speaker 1: then they start losing trust in you. And I know
Speaker 1: that's actually something that used to happen with me. I
Speaker 1: used to say I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this,
Speaker 1: and then I wouldn't and it became something where when
Speaker 1: I ended up actually saying changing my life, I know
Speaker 1: that Edwin was like, yeah, okay, sure, but I had
Speaker 1: to have enough confidence in myself to say, listen, I
Speaker 1: actually don't really care what you think in regards to this.
Speaker 1: I love you, but this time I'm for real and
Speaker 1: when you see that, you'll get on board. That's good
Speaker 1: And truthfully, it took a while. I mean I did this.
Speaker 1: I started blogging every day for a year with absolutely
Speaker 1: no reward other than feeling better and changing my life
Speaker 1: before I started a business, before anything shifted. But it's
Speaker 1: just that confidence of saying I can do this and
Speaker 1: I can do it every single day, then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, all your relationships start to check. I totally
Speaker 1: agree with you. Yeah, and at the root of it
Speaker 1: all to you know, I think you all agree with
Speaker 1: me on this too, as long as they do love
Speaker 1: you and they do believe in you what they're really
Speaker 1: feeling most of the time. And I think if you're
Speaker 1: listening for this, you'll maybe act somewhat more sympathetically or empathetically.
Speaker 1: It sounds crazy to say, but they're afraid you're leaving them,
Speaker 1: like at the root of the root, at the root
Speaker 1: of the root, right, like if you go all the
Speaker 1: way back we talked earlier about what do you really want?
Speaker 1: More happiness and bliss. At the root of the root,
Speaker 1: that lack of support is you're leaving me. And they
Speaker 1: literally configurately mean that, like you're the person I love
Speaker 1: is changing that woman, that man's the leading me? Or
Speaker 1: maybe they're outgrowing me? What if they're better than me?
Speaker 1: And then all of their insecurities and comparison killing joy
Speaker 1: once again? Yeah, what happen? You know, we have two
Speaker 1: primary fears that were all also word with that we
Speaker 1: come in with that I won't be enough and I
Speaker 1: won't be loved And you're totally chipping that up in
Speaker 1: your partner, right, I'm curious about happy. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: we're both in alignment with you on that. And the
Speaker 1: thing that you do that I think is brilliant that
Speaker 1: I want to hone in because I just think it
Speaker 1: will help so many people is when you're not getting
Speaker 1: that support from these secondary places in your relationships, can
Speaker 1: you create support for yourself? So talk about strategies where
Speaker 1: you can create external support for yourself when you're not
Speaker 1: getting it from your partner. What are some of the
Speaker 1: things that you recommend somebody do to give themselves support
Speaker 1: when they're not getting it from someone else. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is it. It's the intersection of two things, and these
Speaker 1: two things, when you can design your life around these
Speaker 1: two things, you become your highest self. So I would
Speaker 1: say most free version like most powerful version of yourself,
Speaker 1: and it's at the intersection of getting what you need
Speaker 1: and what you want what would make you happy that
Speaker 1: if you going into or any day on any day
Speaker 1: are thoughtfully thinking about asking for and getting what you need.
Speaker 1: And this goes back down like a lot of people
Speaker 1: actually don't know what they need so if I quickly
Speaker 1: break down this stems from human needs psychology and that
Speaker 1: we all have six basic human needs. And people always
Speaker 1: want to think these are Maslow's hierarchy, but they're not.
Speaker 1: It's six human needs that I swear we should have
Speaker 1: been taught when we were into the garden and would
Speaker 1: have solved a lot of problems for us. If we
Speaker 1: get these six, we are golden and everything that happens
Speaker 1: around us we can respond to from a high self place,
Speaker 1: you know, not from that fear based um side or
Speaker 1: flight survival place. So the six human needs, you can
Speaker 1: look this up or paying me and I'll send it
Speaker 1: to you. It's certainty, uncertainty, significance, love slash connection, growth,
Speaker 1: and then contribution slash celebration. So if you're thinking about
Speaker 1: those things and you're asking your partner like you know,
Speaker 1: when you talk to me like that, it doesn't give
Speaker 1: me a lot of certainty. Makes me really scared. It's
Speaker 1: so crazy that you're saying that, because not only do
Speaker 1: you say that, I just read my let's book and
Speaker 1: he says that. So guys, obviously there's something. There's something
Speaker 1: really to the magical connection here today. I love it.
Speaker 1: Would you agree with me though, if you're honing in
Speaker 1: on those six needs, because you sound like you're an
Speaker 1: expert on this too. Of all those six needs, love
Speaker 1: and connection, significance. We different people have different needs, but
Speaker 1: we all have two of them. No matter what, we
Speaker 1: all want to grow and all have this need to contribute.
Speaker 1: And one of the things that as I read more
Speaker 1: and more about you, that I love is you talking
Speaker 1: about getting outside of yourself and contributing to others is
Speaker 1: a way to find more of your own happiness and fulfillment.
Speaker 1: Correct big time. It seems that everybody who has attracted
Speaker 1: to working with me wants to make the world a
Speaker 1: better play and the zero in the top two needs,
Speaker 1: we need all six. But if you use them like
Speaker 1: radio dials, and you said, I'm just going to make
Speaker 1: growth and contribution my top two at all costs, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go for those, you get all the others without
Speaker 1: even tract. And what do you say to people who
Speaker 1: are kind of pessimists And they're like, oh, well, if
Speaker 1: you're a life coach, then you must be perfect and
Speaker 1: your life must be great. And you know, I can
Speaker 1: only take advice from somebody who's you know, living at
Speaker 1: a ten x every single day, Like what are your
Speaker 1: answers to that? Yeah? So it's like perfect that I'm
Speaker 1: in this career because you know, you're teaching what you
Speaker 1: need to learn it usually in life, and I am
Speaker 1: like a recovering perfectionist. I grew up with parents who
Speaker 1: had really our expectations, and I had our expectations, and
Speaker 1: I got really rewarded for being amazing and you just learned.
Speaker 1: I think women are even more inclined to be people
Speaker 1: pleasers and you know, check all the boxes. And I'm
Speaker 1: just one of those higher chievers. And I literally had
Speaker 1: to take my shoulders down and like really just give
Speaker 1: myself hall passes on the daily to be human, to
Speaker 1: be where I'm at, to know that I'm figuring it
Speaker 1: out right alongside my clients and everyone else, and just enjoy,
Speaker 1: like if I'm all about the joy man, and I've
Speaker 1: got to just I allow that, you know. And so
Speaker 1: I tell people wholeheartedly where I'm at. I tell them
Speaker 1: stories all the time as we're working together, because I
Speaker 1: think we learned best by stories. And I share all
Speaker 1: the fails and all the places where I'm still learning,
Speaker 1: and I try to just you know, have like armfuls
Speaker 1: of tools that help and we practice some together. Well,
Speaker 1: I can't thank you enough. I think that our listeners
Speaker 1: are getting so much from you, and if they want
Speaker 1: to find out more, how do they find you? Oh,
Speaker 1: you're so awesome. It's just Shari Healy dot com. And
Speaker 1: I'll do a quick spell because it's sorry to about
Speaker 1: the H E R I E H E A L
Speaker 1: E Y. And I'm on Instagram as the Luminaries because
Speaker 1: I think we're all to say, giant forces of light
Speaker 1: on the planet and that's what I'm here to just
Speaker 1: remind people of. Well, thank you so much for taking
Speaker 1: the time. You're awesome, Sari. Oh my god, you guys
Speaker 1: are thanks so much. It was great talking to you. Bye.
Speaker 1: So we gotta take one more little break and then
Speaker 1: can I grow you some more? Ed? All right, So
Speaker 1: now that we've talked to a life coach, we've talked
Speaker 1: to somebody who does vision boards manifesting what they want?
Speaker 1: What is your mindset for when you set a goal
Speaker 1: and it doesn't go through. I'm very familiar with that.
Speaker 1: For me, it's usually delayed. We talked a little bit
Speaker 1: about that with Tanya, where some of them end up
Speaker 1: coming back later. Um, you know, I don't think there's
Speaker 1: anything wrong with missing a goal, right. I think I'd
Speaker 1: rather shoot for something big and miss it. And having
Speaker 1: said that, if you have a whole bunch of goals
Speaker 1: and you keep missing them, you need to shrink those
Speaker 1: goals into shorter time frames and more realistic things you achieve, right,
Speaker 1: Because the most important things you start building this reputation
Speaker 1: with yourself that you get the things done that you
Speaker 1: say that you're going to do. But sometimes the pursuit
Speaker 1: of a goal, I'll be honestly, I've had a few
Speaker 1: goals in my life before where the closer I got
Speaker 1: to them, I realized they didn't serve me. And so
Speaker 1: what Sometimes you're not going to get a goal that
Speaker 1: you've set up because there's something bigger or different that
Speaker 1: would serve you more in that moment. I'm you know,
Speaker 1: you and I are both people of faith, and sometimes
Speaker 1: our plans are wonderful and sometimes God sometimes God has
Speaker 1: different plans in our life. If you believe in the
Speaker 1: quantum field, which I believe in both, sometimes the universe
Speaker 1: is going to pull you in a different direction. As
Speaker 1: you know, different people enter your vibrational field, and so
Speaker 1: I'm open to life. I don't want everything in my
Speaker 1: life to be completely predictable. That'd be boring. And you're
Speaker 1: open to pivot. Yeah, I'm open to pivot. I'm open
Speaker 1: to surprises. And you know what, sometimes disappointment isn't so bad.
Speaker 1: What happens to us in our goals is usually a
Speaker 1: lot of times we set goals up, like when you
Speaker 1: were saying a bottom losing your weight, right, what it is,
Speaker 1: it's very painful. Here's the rub. Maybe you need to
Speaker 1: lose fifty pounds. Let's say for most people, they have
Speaker 1: that fifty pound pain. I got to lose the fifty
Speaker 1: and they lose fifteen or twenty of it, and now
Speaker 1: it's not quite so painful to be the thirty five
Speaker 1: pound overweight person, and they lose that drive and ambition.
Speaker 1: So that's why it's important to keep setting weekly and
Speaker 1: daily goals because that initial stimulus is depleted as you
Speaker 1: get further away from it. Which is why I always
Speaker 1: say it's a lifestyle change, not a diet, because I
Speaker 1: did years and years of dieting never works. It wasn't
Speaker 1: until I finally said, okay, now what I am changing
Speaker 1: my life? And now everybody in my life will know
Speaker 1: about it. I'm not going to hide it in this
Speaker 1: dark little area of my of my you know, inner
Speaker 1: being and try to protect people from it. I'm going
Speaker 1: to put it out there and that people that love
Speaker 1: me are going to go on this lifestyle change with me.
Speaker 1: One thing about you, I just tell your audience like
Speaker 1: it's super real. It's super annoying. Whether I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't live with you every day, so it's not that
Speaker 1: annoying with enough to ask godwin, but but I've I'm
Speaker 1: around you enough to know it's very real, like this
Speaker 1: is your lifestyle, you are, you know, oftentimes in any
Speaker 1: space where people are giving advice or coaching or being vulnerable,
Speaker 1: I think it's just important that I stampick. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you I'm around her, she's this way. And the
Speaker 1: cool thing about being around you because I'm also someone
Speaker 1: who kind of prides myself on doing what I say,
Speaker 1: But I do find myself behaving better in some of
Speaker 1: these areas when I'm around you or people like you,
Speaker 1: because it's like you make me want to live up
Speaker 1: to that standard that I've set for myself. So it's
Speaker 1: important and I think that goes back to what you
Speaker 1: were saying earlier. You know, like, as long as you
Speaker 1: are showing up for yourself, as long as you're surrounding
Speaker 1: yourself with people that lift you up and that you
Speaker 1: want to do better when you're around, you're setting yourself
Speaker 1: up for success. And I'm going to tell you something.
Speaker 1: It is going to take time. And you know, we
Speaker 1: oftentimes talk about the power of yes, but the power
Speaker 1: of no is also very important. Yeah, that's a fact.
Speaker 1: That's probably my bigger deal is my ability to say no.
Speaker 1: That's the thing for me in both of the know
Speaker 1: when it's good food and I want to eat healthy,
Speaker 1: but also just like in my personal life, I have
Speaker 1: a hard time saying no to people in general, like
Speaker 1: when they asked me to do things for them or
Speaker 1: a commitment that I'm making. I found lately I started
Speaker 1: to say no to some things. That empowers you too.
Speaker 1: You don't have to say yes to everybody for everything
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, because then if you're I know,
Speaker 1: for myself, if I say yes to something I don't
Speaker 1: want to do, I go in and I have asset
Speaker 1: and then I feel bad and then I worry about
Speaker 1: how they feel, and I'm like, you know, what. It
Speaker 1: would have been a lot better if I just said, hey, sorry,
Speaker 1: I can't do that. Um. So I have another thing
Speaker 1: that I kind of want to dig into. What is
Speaker 1: the day in the life of Ed? My life? Like
Speaker 1: I know, with myself, I'm very ritual, ritualistic. I wake
Speaker 1: up at a certain time, I journal, I work out,
Speaker 1: I make sure you know, I do my non negotiables.
Speaker 1: I you know, set my intentions for the day, and
Speaker 1: I make sure it happens. I find this is often
Speaker 1: true for most people. So we're so similar. I'm super lazy.
Speaker 1: So if you left me and undisciplined, so so if
Speaker 1: you left me to my own devices, I would be
Speaker 1: a zoo. So I had to come up. Here's here's
Speaker 1: my kind of whole philosophy. If I control the first
Speaker 1: thirty minutes of my day, and I have some control
Speaker 1: over the last thirty minutes of my day, the probability
Speaker 1: of me having some control over the middle of it
Speaker 1: is increased. So I still have lots of days that
Speaker 1: are up and down and good and bad, and every
Speaker 1: day is different. But what's never different is the first
Speaker 1: thirty minutes of each of my days and the last
Speaker 1: thirty minutes of each of my days extremely ritualized. So
Speaker 1: like when I wake up, thought about this in my
Speaker 1: book and on my podcast, But I wake up, I
Speaker 1: certainly have a prayer and meditation. Time I do a
Speaker 1: cold plunge. People ask me why do you do a
Speaker 1: cold plunge. Here's why I do. At number one, it
Speaker 1: because you flight or flight, you're completely awake and you
Speaker 1: know what. It's difficult to do. And I'm already starting
Speaker 1: my day doing something most people are unwilling to do.
Speaker 1: And in my little brain, I'm going I'm doing things
Speaker 1: other people aren't willing to do. I deserve to get
Speaker 1: things they're not going to get, So I do that.
Speaker 1: I have a gratitude exercise. Who do I love? What
Speaker 1: am I grateful for? Who loves me? I go through that,
Speaker 1: I do some stretching, and then I do my workout.
Speaker 1: The biggest change for me in to hear is I
Speaker 1: stopped checking my phone the first thirty minutes of the day.
Speaker 1: Hardest damn thing in the history of the world to
Speaker 1: do and the best thing that will change your life.
Speaker 1: Because in life, there's a syntax, there's a context. You
Speaker 1: are either someone who responds all day long or dictates
Speaker 1: and if you're a responder, you will be in the
Speaker 1: middle to the bottom of happiness in life and achievement.
Speaker 1: And when you grab your phone first minute you look
Speaker 1: at it, what are you doing responding to everybody else's
Speaker 1: demands and stimulus. You're saying, this is make me all
Speaker 1: sweaty and bothered right now. There's really nothing on your
Speaker 1: phone that can't wait thirty minutes when you wake up,
Speaker 1: even though in your brain you go, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: everyone's dying. Because what I do is I wake up,
Speaker 1: I do my first work things, and then I go
Speaker 1: do my journal in my alone time. But I do
Speaker 1: I do feel that need to get up and get
Speaker 1: it done. By the way, for somebody else, what's the
Speaker 1: number one thing? Let's go into little Teddy's brain here
Speaker 1: her life. What the number one thing? If you could
Speaker 1: eliminate one emotion? Because I know, I think I know
Speaker 1: what it is that you have mostly that you wish
Speaker 1: you didn't have as much of What is it? Anxiety?
Speaker 1: You know it is, and that would what you would say.
Speaker 1: And part of that is when you wake up. Not
Speaker 1: to get really technical, but you're in a certain brain
Speaker 1: flow state at that time, in your beta state, which
Speaker 1: is your flight or flight? You did it since we
Speaker 1: were cave women and cave men. You're supposed to be
Speaker 1: able to wake up and what's wrong. That's the first
Speaker 1: thing you're supposed to do. And so when you combine
Speaker 1: that with grabbing a phone and then there's all the
Speaker 1: stuff you gotta worry about, you sort of wired yourself
Speaker 1: every single day for that. Yeah, so it's something to consider.
Speaker 1: It's so hard even though I'm trying to you know,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to set the tone by picking my quote
Speaker 1: or doing whatever it is that I'm doing for um,
Speaker 1: you know my clients, but I do wait to start
Speaker 1: taking care of me. So I that is going to
Speaker 1: be one of my non negotiable good Um. And what
Speaker 1: would you tell someone who feels stuck or like they're
Speaker 1: lacking any drive to make any changes, but they're stuck
Speaker 1: and they're unhappy. Yeah, that's a pattern. It's not who
Speaker 1: you are. It's a pattern you've fallen into. So that
Speaker 1: is not you. Okay, that's the most important thing to accept.
Speaker 1: You are not someone who's in a rut. You are
Speaker 1: not an unmotivated person. You're in a pattern. Okay, And
Speaker 1: so what we need to do is break that pattern.
Speaker 1: And probably one of the ways that you could easily
Speaker 1: break it the most is to begin to take control
Speaker 1: of your reticular activating system, which is what you see.
Speaker 1: Just begin to tell yourself what you'd like to see.
Speaker 1: There's this part of your brain. It's the filter for
Speaker 1: your whole life. It feels literally, it's the filter for
Speaker 1: your damn life. It's in the frontal lobe of your brain,
Speaker 1: and it's it's what. That's why I like, say you
Speaker 1: buy a brand new car, you buy a blue van.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, you see blue vans everywhere all
Speaker 1: over the road, three lanes over go in the other direction.
Speaker 1: They were always there. Why do you see them now?
Speaker 1: Because they're in your awareness? Okay, it's uh. If you
Speaker 1: go into a room and there's names being yelled out,
Speaker 1: that's noise auditory that blends into the abyss. Unless it's
Speaker 1: your name across the room, someone says teddy, you can
Speaker 1: hear it in a room of other voices. So if
Speaker 1: you could begin to make the things you hear and see,
Speaker 1: the blue vans and your own name in your life,
Speaker 1: which is the things that you want if you and
Speaker 1: that's just by starting to really program it and really
Speaker 1: begin to think it. That's number one thing I would
Speaker 1: say to you. Start to take control of that filter.
Speaker 1: And then the second thing is this, just try to
Speaker 1: take for a minute and inventory of what your gifts are.
Speaker 1: What's something you're gifted at? And you go nothing not true.
Speaker 1: Every human has two or three of them that could
Speaker 1: be the gift for kindness, patience, honesty, integrity, intensity, your math, skills,
Speaker 1: your humor, your beauty, your intellect, whatever it is, right,
Speaker 1: your problem solving, right, your concern, you're nurturing. All of
Speaker 1: you have two or three skills. The way out of
Speaker 1: your pattern, the way to get motivated is to begin
Speaker 1: to identify your two or three gifts and you have them,
Speaker 1: I promise you, okay, and then begin to think, how
Speaker 1: can I start to use these gifts just to help
Speaker 1: other people? And if you do that, you'll get out
Speaker 1: of you and into someone else. You're into you too much,
Speaker 1: you being unmotivated. The last thing I'll tell you is
Speaker 1: the most egotistical and selfish thing you could possibly do,
Speaker 1: because it completely indicates you're all about you. And I
Speaker 1: know you're a good person. I know you don't see
Speaker 1: it that way, but if you have no motivation, no
Speaker 1: inspiration in your life. You're not about other people. Start
Speaker 1: to get into the service of other people, start to
Speaker 1: think about your gifts, start to think about how you
Speaker 1: could serve people. They're little things everybody like maybe when
Speaker 1: you get into an elevator, what if you became that
Speaker 1: person that everybody in around you anonymously you set a
Speaker 1: quick prayer for them. You just set a prayer for people,
Speaker 1: Will peace be with you in your own mind, in
Speaker 1: your own heart. You'll begin to trance and not for
Speaker 1: them to hear it, so then they can then validate
Speaker 1: for your good behavior. Yeah, no, I mean I can't
Speaker 1: agree more with you. I think, yes, I you know,
Speaker 1: originally it took me taking the steps to say I'm
Speaker 1: going to change my life. But creating this business and
Speaker 1: now watching other people change their life is the only
Speaker 1: reason I am able to continue and stay with it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you do. And a couple of your gifts now
Speaker 1: that we know each other, is a you genuinely love
Speaker 1: and care about people. It's it's a gift that is
Speaker 1: a gift. Most of you just slough thatt off that
Speaker 1: you have it. Not everybody's that way, folks. So if
Speaker 1: that's a gift of yours. That's a gift to take inventory.
Speaker 1: The second thing is you have a very unique based
Speaker 1: on your background. It's very unique. Your level of humility
Speaker 1: and your level of honesty are two of your greatest gifts.
Speaker 1: Teddy and you combine. You're wanting to really make a
Speaker 1: difference for other people, your humility and you didn't need
Speaker 1: to be the ways you were raised your background now
Speaker 1: with what you're doing now, and then how really brutally
Speaker 1: honest of a person you are. Those are three incredible gifts.
Speaker 1: And when you're the happiest, you're utilizing those three gifts
Speaker 1: with your children, with Edwin, with your coaching. That's when
Speaker 1: you're the happiest, and all of you will be the
Speaker 1: happiest when you identify those gifts that you take for
Speaker 1: granted because you have them, you think everybody has them,
Speaker 1: because you have made millions of dollars with them, you
Speaker 1: devalue their worth, right and also appreciating other people's gifts
Speaker 1: like what ed just did right there, not a lot
Speaker 1: of people do. So the fact that he could go
Speaker 1: out there point out my gifts without expecting anything in return,
Speaker 1: because that is what feeds him. So I think that
Speaker 1: in closing, what we can talk about when it comes
Speaker 1: to New Year's resolutions and changing our lives and sticking
Speaker 1: true to our goals. It's really just about us. It's
Speaker 1: not because it's it's not because New Year knew you.
Speaker 1: It's because you are making a commitment to you. You
Speaker 1: love your life, you want your life to be grand,
Speaker 1: and you want to be in charge of your own life. Um.
Speaker 1: Any closing remarks you have for everybody, No, I love
Speaker 1: you and I appreciate you have them here today. And
Speaker 1: if there's anything I can ever do for your audience,
Speaker 1: some kind of in service to them anytime, I can
Speaker 1: be so. UM and you guys, add my Let is
Speaker 1: like on point with like responding and his comments on
Speaker 1: his Instagram. I am extremely envious to it because I
Speaker 1: struggle there, like struggle bus Central. So honestly, shoot him
Speaker 1: a message. Um, he's ad add my Let on Instagram.
Speaker 1: You can find him anywhere. I He's one of those
Speaker 1: people that in the morning I go on, I see
Speaker 1: what he has to say and I get that little
Speaker 1: boost where I'm like, you know what, I can do
Speaker 1: this again today? Um. And then in regards to me,
Speaker 1: please get my journal because it's an easy way for
Speaker 1: you to start making these little changes. These on negotiables
Speaker 1: I talk about how to journal on my Instagram and
Speaker 1: also any questions you guys have, please send them to
Speaker 1: at Teddy tea pot. Thanks for tuning in, Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Subscribe to Teddy Teapot on I Heard Radio or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts.