Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just changed all of its
Speaker 1: passwords to Kenny Why, just because he wants to go
Speaker 1: around telling people he has all Kenny Loggins. Clearly not
Speaker 1: a joke Alexis is gonna get, but still somebody worth it.
Speaker 1: With Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news
Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except
Speaker 1: we have a laser and those other danger zones just don't.
Speaker 1: First Laser Stories out of the not so Friendly Skuys.
Speaker 1: Forty seven year old Daniella Carbone is a flight attendant
Speaker 1: based out of Buenos Aires and recently her boyfriend broke
Speaker 1: up with her for another gal.
Speaker 2: That sucks.
Speaker 3: You guys have options out there.
Speaker 1: Well, the bigger issue with that is that her boyfriend
Speaker 1: was a pilot and his new girlfriend was a different
Speaker 1: flight attendant.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, this is like.
Speaker 2: When the cook breaks up with the server hospital.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like, honestly, I think this drama has to go down
Speaker 2: all the time.
Speaker 1: Well, if that wasn't drama enough, they were both scheduled
Speaker 1: to fly out together until Daniella came up with a
Speaker 1: plan to put a stop to it.
Speaker 3: Oh, this is going to be don't do this.
Speaker 1: It is a weird, weird word to describe it, because
Speaker 1: she allegedly used her daughter's cell phone to dial the
Speaker 1: airline office and call in a bomb threat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, guys, never smart.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's just so much space between that and
Speaker 2: not a bomb threat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, maybe sick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she utilized voice distortion software and staid, tell.
Speaker 3: The captain that we planted three bombs in Miami.
Speaker 1: That's scary for.
Speaker 2: The record, not how we use our voice changer on
Speaker 2: the mass speakerin Just for the record.
Speaker 1: All two hundred and seventy passengers and twelve crew members
Speaker 1: were evacuated from their flight that was ready to take off.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'd be so annoyed.
Speaker 1: And after a search and a brief investigation, they were
Speaker 1: quickly able to trace the call back to Daniella, who
Speaker 1: was still inside the airport and got arrested while her
Speaker 1: flight attendant uniform was.
Speaker 3: Still Oh oh okay.
Speaker 1: Daniella was suspended without pay and faces six years behind
Speaker 1: bars if convicted, but at.
Speaker 2: Least her makeup was done for her mugshot.
Speaker 3: Also to rub salt in the wound.
Speaker 1: The pilot and his new girlfriend did make it to
Speaker 1: Miami later on that same day, I don't.
Speaker 3: Feel so bad she got broken up with you?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Next Laser stories out of Manchester, England, a twenty five
Speaker 1: year old woman named Jessica O'Brien was uploading some photos
Speaker 1: of her couch on Facebook Marketplace the other day, trying
Speaker 1: to see if.
Speaker 3: Anybody wanted to buy it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and somehow she accidentally uploaded another photo from her phone,
Speaker 1: one that showed her bare breasts.
Speaker 3: I want to buy?
Speaker 2: Was it really an accident? It was an accidents, okay,
Speaker 2: because I'm like, that is going to sell real quickly, you.
Speaker 1: Want to The picture got deleted, but nothing is ever
Speaker 1: really deleted from the Jessica says she's quote really embarrassed
Speaker 1: about it, but then again, it's making her couch sale.
Speaker 3: Go viral, so it's not all that bad.
Speaker 1: Because turns out she got over two hundred offers on
Speaker 1: the couch and she was asking for five hundred and
Speaker 1: ninety dollars, but many guys who were willing to buy
Speaker 1: it said they'd pay even more just so that they
Speaker 1: could stop by and chat a little bit before pick up.
Speaker 2: There meet them somewhere not your house, yes, good.
Speaker 3: Good call. Still meet them. Apparently that's a good deal.
Speaker 1: This next laer stories out of the world of warehouse fines.
Speaker 2: That's all is this where the couches?
Speaker 3: It's Costco.
Speaker 2: I love Costco. Give it to me.
Speaker 1: Someone makes the effort to post about their Costco scores
Speaker 1: and deems them make quote certified banger, then you know it.
Speaker 3: Must be good. Okay.
Speaker 1: And one Reddit user called the Impossible Cow got the
Speaker 1: Internet in hysterics the other day when he discovered a
Speaker 1: new hidden gem at their local Costco.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I follow all the Costco like people
Speaker 2: on TikTok.
Speaker 3: Maybe you've seen this one. A two and a half
Speaker 3: pound churro bunt cake. Sounds like here's a picture of it. Yo,
Speaker 3: my god.
Speaker 1: Another person chimed in, saying, quote agreed, this one is
Speaker 1: a certified banger.
Speaker 2: Folks, I'm going today, I'll get one for us.
Speaker 1: It probably is true because it isn't just a cinnamon
Speaker 1: pound cake. It has a very distinct churro flavor, but
Speaker 1: a moist cake consistency.
Speaker 2: How are the Costco cakes so good?
Speaker 3: They have the keebler elves trapped in the Costco You.
Speaker 2: Know they still have the old school where if you
Speaker 2: want it decorated, you write it down on a piece
Speaker 2: of paper and you drop it into the box at Costco.
Speaker 3: It's not impressive. That's crazy technology.
Speaker 1: We're still doing that caically shows up.
Speaker 3: Well, it's called shipping.
Speaker 1: You gotta come ready to pay because the cake goes
Speaker 1: for a whopping ten dollars and seventy nine cents.
Speaker 3: In affordable Are you kidding?
Speaker 1: It's two and a half pounds, but seems worth it
Speaker 1: to many people. Besides, Costco is on a winning streak
Speaker 1: with their bakery and sweets department, unless we forget about
Speaker 1: the five pound chocolate and peanut butter pie.
Speaker 3: I never got that. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1: Not shocking to see another new creation popping up in stores.
Speaker 1: Brooke is gonna go and she promises to bring one
Speaker 1: to every single listener's house if you're nice to her.
Speaker 3: On the textboard, you.
Speaker 2: Love when I go to Costco because I always bring
Speaker 2: you back a pack of chocolate muffins.
Speaker 3: That's true. You know it happened once. Yeah, when did
Speaker 3: that happen? I don't remember.
Speaker 2: Twice? It happened twice.
Speaker 3: Also, you need to bring back the big taba mac
Speaker 3: and cheese. Remember they have like a giant gallon. Give
Speaker 3: you a time.
Speaker 1: This next lazer story is out of difficult decisions Central. Oh,
Speaker 1: I hate it here.
Speaker 2: I feel like we're shopping again at Costco.
Speaker 3: There's that saying good looks can only get you so far.
Speaker 3: That's a lie. I've heard that. But what if good
Speaker 3: looks could take you ninety percent farther? Yeah, they can,
Speaker 3: surgery Well.
Speaker 1: Poll asks more than eight thousand people, would you rather
Speaker 1: be thirty percent smarter or ninety percent more attractive?
Speaker 3: Easy? Okay, easy? More attracted? Thirty percent smarter to me? Still,
Speaker 3: I'm still.
Speaker 2: Dumb just the math alone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even do the mask. I just want
Speaker 3: to be hot. It was actually pretty close.
Speaker 1: Fifty three percent of people said they'd rather be ninety
Speaker 1: percent more attractive.
Speaker 2: Okay, Martin, Do I stay ninety percent more attractive no
Speaker 2: matter how old I get.
Speaker 3: That's part of the rules. More attractive forever, rest your life.
Speaker 1: Forty six percent would choose to be thirty percent smarter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're already dumb because they didn't pick the hop Well, you.
Speaker 3: Could make more money and be more attractive. Just rich
Speaker 3: people in.
Speaker 1: General some solid reasons for their votes, like quote, I'm
Speaker 1: already pretty smart, so yeah, I'm gonna take the intelligence.
Speaker 1: Much better to be exceptional at one of them than pretty.
Speaker 3: Good at both.
Speaker 2: And honestly, the smarter you are, the more you understand,
Speaker 2: the more depressing everything becomes.
Speaker 3: They say, ignorance is bliss for a reason.
Speaker 1: Someone tried to get all smart, saying looks fade with age,
Speaker 1: but intelligence that could last your whole life.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And on the flip side, one person said, quote, I'm
Speaker 1: smart enough, but being attractive in life that's like lowering
Speaker 1: the difficulty level.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is. Yeah, having the cheat codes.
Speaker 1: Man really is also quote I'm smart enough to know
Speaker 1: that being smarter would only make me more unhappy.
Speaker 3: That what I just said. You're too smart.
Speaker 2: Amen.
Speaker 1: Lucky for this guy, he doesn't have to choose. He's
Speaker 1: got the mind of Jessica Simpsons and the body of
Speaker 1: a green shelled Zach get from. It's a dual threat
Speaker 1: that guy Japan's laser stories has come to an end
Speaker 1: for the day. We'll do it again the same time
Speaker 1: on Friday.
Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning