Speaker 1: Welcome to guys, We fucked guys. We guys book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karn. We're sorry about last night the anti sluck
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey, Happy guys, we fucked, Karine,
Speaker 1: Happy guys, we fucked a Christina And to you Dan
Speaker 1: sitting at your desk, oh walking her dog. I feel
Speaker 1: like people listening to podcasts whom were like Stacy Madison
Speaker 1: really shooting up for uh Dawn. Happy guys, We fun.
Speaker 1: You guys got an old name? Yeah, I like old names. Bertha,
Speaker 1: Happy guys, we fucked. So you've you've seen us, You've
Speaker 1: seen us talking about it on the social media, and
Speaker 1: you're like, what the what the fund are they talking?
Speaker 1: Let us know we're not don't do crack. We just
Speaker 1: have a bunch of big anouncements and we decided to
Speaker 1: make them all on one day. Efficient Alright, So first off,
Speaker 1: you've been asking for them, you've been tweeting us about it.
Speaker 1: You're like, we here, guys fat more than one time
Speaker 1: a week? Are all right? Okay, we heard you put
Speaker 1: the knife down. And guess what guys, we fucked is
Speaker 1: now available on Howell. If you don't know what holl is.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the Netflix of podcasts. It's really cheap.
Speaker 1: You can sign up and you get bonus episodes of
Speaker 1: Guys we Fucked. We're doing at least two bonus episodes
Speaker 1: per month. The monthly cost is just f so, I
Speaker 1: mean it's like this is extra, so we're not charging it,
Speaker 1: you know for regular episodes. So oh yeah, we're keeping
Speaker 1: it free. And also people still email us like can
Speaker 1: I donate money? Sign up for hewll. Yeah, four dollars
Speaker 1: and cents a month. That's it. That's all. That's all
Speaker 1: it takes to get a little bit more of this
Speaker 1: in your life. And the episodes are going to be
Speaker 1: super cool. I'm so excited. We have some fun ship plan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna do weird ship. We're just gonna dive into
Speaker 1: some topics that sometimes we have to kind of just
Speaker 1: like scoot over. Um, we're gonna read some of the
Speaker 1: crazy emails that we've gotten that we haven't had time
Speaker 1: to go over. We're gonna bring back your favorite guests
Speaker 1: because like on the regular podcast, we don't really repeat guests. Vinny,
Speaker 1: but if you like Vinny and Stephen, I think are
Speaker 1: the only people who have been on multiple times. But
Speaker 1: if you like someone a lot, and we have an
Speaker 1: idea of who your favorites, we we're gonna bring the mom.
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk more. I s Nico if he would
Speaker 1: do it, and he said, yes, Yeah, we're gonna be
Speaker 1: weird and then maybe we'll drink with those people or yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll have an episode. We'll we'll have like a party
Speaker 1: night and krit and I'll just like crack open some
Speaker 1: whiskeys and talk and then uh, I want to bring
Speaker 1: some some of our family members. Yeah, not to yeah,
Speaker 1: just the tease. Just yeah, we're gonna do some fun,
Speaker 1: unexpected stuff, keeping it fresh, keeping it real for you guys.
Speaker 1: So it'll be like guys but looser. Karen, how do
Speaker 1: I get the Helle Bonus episode? Um? You can go
Speaker 1: to how dot f m slash g WF and they're
Speaker 1: even giving you the opportunity to start a one month
Speaker 1: trial for free. Yes, if you don't like it, one
Speaker 1: fuck you, but too you don't have to do it,
Speaker 1: so well maybe funk us if you don't you know,
Speaker 1: I don't like I guess that's our responsibility. They're pretty good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well we can we can vouch for them. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be great. Yeah, so go to Howell dot Fm, slash
Speaker 1: g WF, tell your friends, tell your wife, tell your
Speaker 1: kids if you wanted, and the first episode is available
Speaker 1: now yeah Howell right good? What else we got? Oh
Speaker 1: we finally have gotten some merch merchandise? Yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 1: if you go to our website, sorry about last Night
Speaker 1: Comedy dot com. Uh, there is a table says merch
Speaker 1: and that will take you. We're gonna be having some
Speaker 1: more things coming up, but there's um we designed some
Speaker 1: T shirts, some toe bags, and one of our listeners actually,
Speaker 1: who had submitted a logo yeah for the logo contest,
Speaker 1: I know, yeah, mentioned it and adopted and also we
Speaker 1: paid her yeah, because someone was like you can't just
Speaker 1: not pay her. God, yeah no, we ran a contest
Speaker 1: and then amazing shout out to at least Perry. Her
Speaker 1: work is amazing, amazing and it's going to be Yeah,
Speaker 1: the face the faces, you can get faces, you can
Speaker 1: get a T shirt and uh yeah, so right now
Speaker 1: we have a limited amount of merch available and there'll
Speaker 1: be some more as we go on. But yeah, sorry
Speaker 1: about last Night Comedy dot com. Click on that tab
Speaker 1: that says merch. If you want some guys, we've sucked
Speaker 1: on your body. And then, last but not least, our
Speaker 1: third announcement of the day is the tour dates that
Speaker 1: we have been teasing you with. Uh and we just
Speaker 1: want to point out tickets are between twenty and twenty
Speaker 1: five dollars. This is the cheapest that we could get
Speaker 1: and we actually like fought our agents on this. They
Speaker 1: really higher and we said, no, we want you to
Speaker 1: be able to number one, Come and see a live
Speaker 1: comedy show. I think it's so important people. You know,
Speaker 1: we're such in the age of like movies, whatever, movies
Speaker 1: are great. I love movies, but like see live, see
Speaker 1: a live show, and then you have money left over
Speaker 1: to get yourself a drink, at yourself a shirt without
Speaker 1: having to like not do anything for the next three weeks.
Speaker 1: We know what it's like. That sucks. And we tried
Speaker 1: to keep the venues as low in ages as we
Speaker 1: could as well. So some of these venues are sixteen
Speaker 1: plus summer eighteen plus, but then some are twenty one plus.
Speaker 1: We tried our best, um, but you know, different cities
Speaker 1: have different things to offer, So what cities are we
Speaker 1: coming to? And just keep in mind this is just
Speaker 1: the first leg of the tour. There will be more,
Speaker 1: but right now for two thousand and sixteen uh Syracuse,
Speaker 1: New York. On November two, we kick off their tour
Speaker 1: at the Syracuse Funny Bone and then Albany, New York
Speaker 1: November three at the Funny Bone, Hartford, Connecticut. November six
Speaker 1: the Funny Bone, Irvine, California, November nine, The Improv, Los Angeles, California.
Speaker 1: November ten, we'll be at the Comedy Store Again, Phoenix, Arizona.
Speaker 1: Eleven eleven wish We're at Stand Up Live, Ontario, California.
Speaker 1: I didn't know you existed, but you do. And we'll
Speaker 1: be there at the Improv on November thirteen, San Francisco, California.
Speaker 1: Eleven November will be a Cobbs Comedy Club, Indianapolis, Indiana.
Speaker 1: November sixteenth will be at Crackers, Columbus, Ohio. November We're
Speaker 1: gonna be at the Funny Bone, Chicago, Illinois. This link
Speaker 1: will be live soon, but on November eighteen or nineteen,
Speaker 1: one of them will be at the ant and Now
Speaker 1: Theater and that's for a podcast festival, yes. And then Cleveland,
Speaker 1: Ohio on November twenty, will be at Hilarities So these
Speaker 1: are just some of the dates. Uh, these are the
Speaker 1: dates for the beginning portion OF's gonna be more dates
Speaker 1: for early two thousand seventeen. But we want to get started.
Speaker 1: We kept talking about it, so we're going. We're coming.
Speaker 1: And if you're like, oh my god, I didn't announce
Speaker 1: my city, there's more cities. We just we can't be
Speaker 1: everywhere at once. Yeah, we're getting This is a long
Speaker 1: tour for us. This is the longest will ever we
Speaker 1: have been on the road. Yeah, straight, Yeah, I can't wait,
Speaker 1: and I'm not dude. The guys who to show it's
Speaker 1: the best. That's the best thing. Yeah, and so so
Speaker 1: much fun. Yeah, for most of most of these, Like
Speaker 1: there's a couple in here other podcast festivals, but for
Speaker 1: the most part, this is all guys. We fucked the experience,
Speaker 1: which is our live show that we've been talking about,
Speaker 1: the one that we tested out downtown in New York
Speaker 1: for several months and run. Oh yeah, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: really fun. Uh, and we can't wait for you to come.
Speaker 1: So ticket links and more information including like what ages
Speaker 1: can come, the venues, the blinks, everything thing you need
Speaker 1: is going to be in the SoundCloud description. And on
Speaker 1: our website as well. Yes, sorry about les night Comedy
Speaker 1: dot com and also ship, I was gonna say something
Speaker 1: real good. I don't know, it's guys a fun day.
Speaker 1: So here's what you do. You sign up for your
Speaker 1: how Bonus episodes, so you get the first episode the
Speaker 1: bonus episodes already, and while you're listening to it, you
Speaker 1: get a T shirt that you will wear to the
Speaker 1: Oh what this is great? Is it? Are you in heaven? No?
Speaker 1: This is reality, Brittany. This this fucking reality, baby, and
Speaker 1: welcome to it. Okay um oh. And also I wanted
Speaker 1: to say, for the guys who sucked the experience our
Speaker 1: tour show, it's a really good show to bring someone
Speaker 1: who's never heard of the podcast, because that's one of
Speaker 1: the types of feedback that we got that I was
Speaker 1: very presently surprised. A lot of people brought their friends
Speaker 1: or their family members that had no idea what the
Speaker 1: the podcast was, and afterwards they were like, that was
Speaker 1: amazing and I had a lot of fun. So we're like,
Speaker 1: that's what boyfriends like that that it didn't suck. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my favorite. Thank you. We're gonna be doing stand up.
Speaker 1: We're gonna get inside your life a little bit. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be very fun, super fun. Speaking of fun, this
Speaker 1: episode of Guys We Sucked is bought to you by
Speaker 1: mud Cloth. It brings you unique styles and dresses, tops, bottoms, shoes, outerwears, bridal.
Speaker 1: They're new sponsor, and I'm really excited because I have
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Speaker 1: day extraordinary with mon Cloths. Nice Now more shows Oh yeah, jeez,
Speaker 1: we're gonna be busy so Toronto. We're gonna be at
Speaker 1: the Just for Last Festival on Thursday, September two at
Speaker 1: nine pm for a live recording of the Guys podcast.
Speaker 1: There are individual tickets available, and then Friday, September twenty three,
Speaker 1: at midnight, we're doing Guys We Fucked the Experience, which
Speaker 1: is the show we were just talking about. Individual tickets
Speaker 1: are also available for that. There is a nine pm
Speaker 1: show also happening on Friday. Someone asked us about that,
Speaker 1: but that's pass holders only, so if you have a
Speaker 1: pass you can get tickets to that one too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and also last week I said the wrong day whoopsies.
Speaker 1: My monthly show that I coast with Wendy Starling in
Speaker 1: New York City, Glamor Push, is going to be on Friday,
Speaker 1: uh September seven thirty pm at Sinc Bar, eighty two
Speaker 1: s third Street. Thanks for tickets are in the description
Speaker 1: of this podcast. And then after you come the Glamor
Speaker 1: Pus head on over to New York County Club for
Speaker 1: Nacho Bitches so at eleven ff pm so they don't conflict.
Speaker 1: You could truly do the whole day. I will be
Speaker 1: going to both. Friday, September is still same day. Uh.
Speaker 1: Blair Saki and I are going to be co hosting
Speaker 1: the birthday edition My Birthday Uh Nacho Bitches. Tickets are
Speaker 1: just ten dollars with the code notch show. My Birthday
Speaker 1: show is obviously always my favorite show because and I'll
Speaker 1: definitely be very drunk yelling at people. It will be
Speaker 1: a full effect, y'all. I see it every year and
Speaker 1: it's my favorite. So yeah, if you want to, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna walk over after Lyra Plus we'll walk over together
Speaker 1: because we'll have like, you know, an hour of people.
Speaker 1: We'll just come shout. We'll shout your name and then
Speaker 1: people are like are they protesting or are they celebrated.
Speaker 1: It'll be a really really fun day. Uh. And then
Speaker 1: New Orleans, We're gonna be at the Hell Yes Festival
Speaker 1: on Wednesday, October twelfth at eight pm. This is a
Speaker 1: live podcast recording. It's an all ages show and to
Speaker 1: get start at twenty five dollars. I'm excited. My brother
Speaker 1: is going to be there. I want to be Ghosts
Speaker 1: and Jazz. We're gonna do it Ghosts and Eat Po Boys.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be but I'll eat it. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: you would like it to have shrimp ones. Hello and
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Speaker 1: And this is a really cool thing that like makes
Speaker 1: you want to cry a little bit. So my dad
Speaker 1: and mom have Blue Apron, and I've said before like
Speaker 1: it saved the marriage because they can cook together and
Speaker 1: it's really cute because they don't don't really cook together,
Speaker 1: which I don't know a lot of people don't cook together.
Speaker 1: It's usually one person. Well, I don't cook with Stephen
Speaker 1: because I'm like you just someone would knife them. Yeah, same, Um,
Speaker 1: don't knife your partner. Um. But my dad had a
Speaker 1: heart appointment because his heart's sucked up. He's got all
Speaker 1: kinds of issues wrong with his heart, and it's been
Speaker 1: scaring the ship out of me for the past year
Speaker 1: or two. But he had a recent doctor's appointment and
Speaker 1: he had been eating Blue Apron, probably for I don't know.
Speaker 1: I got him a subscription like the past four months maybe,
Speaker 1: and it's fresh food and it's minimal ingredients, Like there's
Speaker 1: not a ton of ingredients. It's all fresh. It's not
Speaker 1: all diet ship. I mean, you can make it that
Speaker 1: if you want. But he it allows him to eat
Speaker 1: cause he has diabetes. It allows him to eat food that,
Speaker 1: you know, like a tortilla or a pizza. But it's
Speaker 1: not bad for you because it's mean, it's always better
Speaker 1: when you see what's going into and if they keep
Speaker 1: it under certain amount of calories. So he's not really
Speaker 1: used to eating fresh food a lot. So he's been
Speaker 1: eating this and his heart has like drastically recovered from
Speaker 1: its previous state of having he has PVCs and stuff.
Speaker 1: And the doctor said, like that is a percent you're
Speaker 1: diet and he's not taking as much insulin anymore. Blue Apron,
Speaker 1: It'll save your fucking life, save your dad, get him
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Speaker 1: three minute long and for blue Apron. But I'm like,
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Speaker 1: because he's eating fresh blue Apron. And also a better
Speaker 1: way to cook, a better way to um. Well, let's
Speaker 1: just get get going. I am exhausting because I was
Speaker 1: woken up at three thirty in the morning by by
Speaker 1: my boyfriend calling me after he went to a strip
Speaker 1: club in Ohio. Was he like it was no. I
Speaker 1: was like, are you sleeping? And I was like, yes,
Speaker 1: it's three He was you just texted me. I go, yeah.
Speaker 1: An hour and a half ago, I texted you that
Speaker 1: line flies you haven't fun with strip was just texted
Speaker 1: you doesn't work in the middle of the night. It's
Speaker 1: not like it was noon, And like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: I was up. Did you answer uh the phone? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because I thought when I say anytime someone who calls
Speaker 1: me in the middle of the night. I'm like, who died? Died?
Speaker 1: This is because someone usually died, but no one died. No,
Speaker 1: thank god, no one died. And I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: going back to bed, Dad, unless anyone died, I need
Speaker 1: to go back to bed. Thanks so much. Uh, let's
Speaker 1: read some fucker mail. The subject of this email is
Speaker 1: boss by day, closet housewife want to be by night?
Speaker 1: Hello Christina and Karin. I have a question one that
Speaker 1: I never asked anyone before. But let me give you
Speaker 1: a little background first. My twenty birthday is next Friday today,
Speaker 1: Happy the sixteenth, Happy Birthday. I am at the Ripe
Speaker 1: age where everyone is getting married. I am thinking of
Speaker 1: my friend's weddings all the time and imagining my eventual,
Speaker 1: hopefully wedding to my boyfriend. I'm very happy in my
Speaker 1: relationship and we've been together for four years. This year
Speaker 1: I worked two jobs that I really enjoy. But my
Speaker 1: biggest desire in life isn't to be a CEO, director
Speaker 1: of merchandizing, or any of those titles. I work in
Speaker 1: corporate retail. What I want is to be a full
Speaker 1: time mother and a wife, A housewife if you must,
Speaker 1: I realized being a mom isn't what Johnson and Johnson
Speaker 1: baby commercials make it out to be. But that's what
Speaker 1: I want. I can't wait to be pregnant and raise
Speaker 1: a family. I love of making my boyfriend happy. He's
Speaker 1: my best friend, and doing something that makes him smile
Speaker 1: fills my heart with pride and joy. I also have
Speaker 1: a disabled, widowed mother who needs part time assistance, and
Speaker 1: I could be there for her much more than I
Speaker 1: am now. Can I be a feminist and boss in
Speaker 1: the workplace while secretly having the desire to be a
Speaker 1: full time mom? This question has put me in a
Speaker 1: strange place introspectively, Also, what does this mean about me
Speaker 1: as a woman? I feel like less of a feminist
Speaker 1: because of this. I almost think that because of my
Speaker 1: desire to raise my future family full time, I don't
Speaker 1: deserve to be ambitious in the workplace. My co workers
Speaker 1: talk about stay at home moms as second class women,
Speaker 1: like they didn't try hard enough, as failures. Why is that?
Speaker 1: And God forbid I say at work that I want children.
Speaker 1: I won't be making that mistake again. I was teased
Speaker 1: for briefly mentioning it. For a week. I said, I
Speaker 1: like my job, not my co workers. I hear you.
Speaker 1: My manager at work is very supportive of me because
Speaker 1: I am very good at my job and professional in
Speaker 1: the workplace. I've earned every promotion offered and I am
Speaker 1: the rising star of the department. But the corporate life
Speaker 1: is not truly what I want in life. Being CEO
Speaker 1: wouldn't fulfill me like caring for my family would. As
Speaker 1: a side note, I realized I made it seem like
Speaker 1: I give my boyfriend a blowjob every time he gets
Speaker 1: home from work. That's not true. We disagree just like
Speaker 1: every other couple, and I don't have time for that
Speaker 1: ship every night. But he does the same things for
Speaker 1: me that I do for him. It's a two a
Speaker 1: street in our relationship. He's an amazing boyfriend in person,
Speaker 1: and he threw in a picture. Any advice you have
Speaker 1: would be appreciated. It sounds like a great plan for you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I wanted to read this email because to
Speaker 1: me and Christine, I think the answer was like super
Speaker 1: crystal clear. But I think a lot of people, especially
Speaker 1: in this day and age, do feel conflicted being which
Speaker 1: is that's weird. Yeah, if you wanted a mother, first
Speaker 1: of all, is a lot of fucking work. Well, I
Speaker 1: think the most feminist thing you can do is be
Speaker 1: true to yourself. That is so true we should put
Speaker 1: that on a T shirt. Yeah. So it's just like
Speaker 1: if you I think not being a feminist would be
Speaker 1: like saying looking around you and being like, I need
Speaker 1: to be like these other women I see around me
Speaker 1: and be a CEO. Like there's so much comparison, whether
Speaker 1: it be like occupation comparison, a lot of body comparison,
Speaker 1: uh that women have to experience, and we end up
Speaker 1: like measuring ourselves against other people. But just measure yourself
Speaker 1: against yourself and the end of the day, you need
Speaker 1: to be happy. And what's not feminist that I would
Speaker 1: consider is shooting on anybody for wanting to do something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't care if you want to be if you
Speaker 1: want to be a CEO, or if you want to
Speaker 1: have five kids with a white picket fence and you
Speaker 1: take care of your mother and you are a wife,
Speaker 1: then that's what you want, Like I actually have. I do.
Speaker 1: Remember I kind of fight with somebody a long time
Speaker 1: ago because they were shopping on somebody for wanting to
Speaker 1: be like do doing that like having kids and saying home.
Speaker 1: I'm like, but that's what they want to do. What
Speaker 1: the fund is the problem with that? Yeah to me,
Speaker 1: like like moms are like the military, Like I'm not
Speaker 1: going to do it, but someone you should do it.
Speaker 1: I believes them. You seem like a great candidate. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's great. And you also, you shouldn't feel like,
Speaker 1: right right now, you are in retail and that's what
Speaker 1: you're doing and you're obviously excelling at it. You shouldn't
Speaker 1: feel bad. You shouldn't feel like, oh, I should move
Speaker 1: over to give someone else the opportunity, Like if they
Speaker 1: wanted to step up, they should step up. Like, this
Speaker 1: is where you are in your life right now. You
Speaker 1: obviously have to do a good job because like if
Speaker 1: you're gonna number one, if you're gonna wake up, put
Speaker 1: your clothes on, brush your teeth in the morning, Like,
Speaker 1: do the best at whatever it is you're doing. I
Speaker 1: don't care if you're fucking making fries at McDonald's. I
Speaker 1: really appreciate that. Fries are hot, fries are fucking delicious,
Speaker 1: and you make those fries. Yeah, like the fucking best fryer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's there's just something so nice about someone who like
Speaker 1: loves their job and is good at it. Like it's
Speaker 1: like if you have even if you're in a shitty position,
Speaker 1: just like do the best with your energy at that
Speaker 1: because you have to be there anyway, so you can
Speaker 1: either a do a good job or be do a
Speaker 1: bad job. And if someone ever makes I don't know
Speaker 1: what people are making fun of you for wanting a family,
Speaker 1: that's a little weird. I can see, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes like in in corporate situations when it's just like
Speaker 1: cut through, Like I think sometimes it's like perceived as
Speaker 1: a weakness, yeah, which is so crazy to me because
Speaker 1: why is someone else doing what they want to do?
Speaker 1: Why is that weak? Yeah? No, I love I love
Speaker 1: watching on Facebook I have I'm friends with a lot
Speaker 1: of great young moms on people. To my friend Mary
Speaker 1: is like a wonderful mom and like I don't want
Speaker 1: to be a mom, but I love watching her experiences
Speaker 1: being I actually like that too. I really do. Like
Speaker 1: with my friends who have young kids, like post pictures
Speaker 1: of their kids and like it's like I kind of
Speaker 1: followed that kids since they were my friend was pregnant
Speaker 1: with her him or her, and it's really cool. It's
Speaker 1: so beautiful to see somebody like blossoming into like really
Speaker 1: loving being a mom, and sometimes it sucks and you
Speaker 1: don't love it all the time, but you know, that's
Speaker 1: what it is, and that's what Facebook is cool for.
Speaker 1: I think, like sometimes, like Facebook, Instagram, we're too busy comparing.
Speaker 1: But I think it's just like a peek into somebody
Speaker 1: else's life, especially a life that like I don't intend
Speaker 1: on having for myself. I have a kind of a
Speaker 1: weird style life. And so I'm like, Okay, they can
Speaker 1: see what it's like to be a stand up comedian
Speaker 1: in New York, and I can watch what it's like
Speaker 1: to have a baby is a family and get mary
Speaker 1: like I have. That's so foreign to me. I have
Speaker 1: no idea what that's like. I'm like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: really cool, yeah to watch. Yeah, and you know, people listening,
Speaker 1: let's just stop judging anybody wants to do anything. Like
Speaker 1: I forgot how often I would used to hear like, oh,
Speaker 1: you want to be a mom, to stay at home mom?
Speaker 1: Like I think that discussions came up a lot when
Speaker 1: I was in college at Merrymount, and I remember going,
Speaker 1: who the fuck cares? Don't judge people on what they
Speaker 1: want to be judge, judge people on like what kind
Speaker 1: of a job they're doing at whatever they just decided
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, I think that's an adequate you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: way to judge. Whatever you do, we all judge, do
Speaker 1: it well and love it. And if you don't like that,
Speaker 1: change it, except for if your mommy can't change that,
Speaker 1: So just right out, I mean you could. There's adoption agencies,
Speaker 1: but you know, try sometimes and postpartum can be a
Speaker 1: life rounal. So yeah, um so yeah, what everyone else says,
Speaker 1: you'd be the best mom you can be whenever you
Speaker 1: want to be a mom. This email of the subject
Speaker 1: one is sexually harassed, not once, but twice. Hi. I
Speaker 1: am a nineteen year old female. When I was sixteen,
Speaker 1: just about to turn seventeen, I had a boyfriend who
Speaker 1: was twenty three. We were together for three or four months.
Speaker 1: My parents didn't know we were together, and they would
Speaker 1: have have disapproved hugely. We kept our relationship secret except
Speaker 1: for our closest friends. Everything was good. I really liked
Speaker 1: him until one day he decided to randomly end things.
Speaker 1: I was hurt, but knew that it was probably for
Speaker 1: the best. A week or two after we ended He
Speaker 1: texted me asking if we could talk and he would
Speaker 1: give me my stuff back. I agreed, and I came
Speaker 1: to pick He came to pick me up and brought
Speaker 1: me back to his farm. That's funny to me. He
Speaker 1: lived with his parents because he worked on the road.
Speaker 1: We were the only ones home. I started to talk
Speaker 1: about my feelings and he started trying to kiss me.
Speaker 1: I told him that's not what I wanted. He didn't
Speaker 1: listen to me and continued to try to kiss me.
Speaker 1: I said no and asked him to take me home again.
Speaker 1: He didn't listen, and things only got worse. He held
Speaker 1: me down and forced me to have sex with him.
Speaker 1: I was crying and kept telling him to stop. He
Speaker 1: wouldn't listen. He was much bigger and stronger than me,
Speaker 1: so no matter how hard I tried, I just could
Speaker 1: not push him off. I ended up just shutting my
Speaker 1: eyes and crying until he was done. I felt so
Speaker 1: helpless and weak. After that, he took me home and
Speaker 1: never talked to me again. I tried to convince myself
Speaker 1: that since we had had sex before, it wasn't a
Speaker 1: big deal what had just happened. I knew deep down
Speaker 1: that I had just been raped, but I hate the
Speaker 1: word and I didn't want to admit it. I've never
Speaker 1: told any I've never told this to anyone. I didn't
Speaker 1: want people to judge me or look at me think
Speaker 1: of me differently, and I'm afraid they will judge me.
Speaker 1: Fast forward three years. I am now living in a
Speaker 1: different city. About three months ago, I was let go
Speaker 1: from my job, so I started looking for another job
Speaker 1: and found one that looked awesome. It was a receptionist position.
Speaker 1: I got a call for an interview, was super excited.
Speaker 1: I went to the interview and everything was awesome. The
Speaker 1: guy who interviewed me was kind of creepy, but I
Speaker 1: didn't think too much about it as I really needed
Speaker 1: a job. I got a call back for a second
Speaker 1: interview a few days later. On Monday. Shortly after that
Speaker 1: call ended, I received the dick pic from an unknown number.
Speaker 1: I was pretty grossed out as I had no idea
Speaker 1: who sent it, and because I just saw a stranger's
Speaker 1: flaccid penis before ten in the morning. Flacid people said,
Speaker 1: placid pics. I asked who the sender was and they
Speaker 1: sent back multiple messages saying wrong person, wrong number, sorry, etcetera.
Speaker 1: I was still grossed out, but decided to ignore it.
Speaker 1: That Thursday, I went to my interview. It was about
Speaker 1: ten minutes into the interview when I noticed a list
Speaker 1: of umbers besides the computer. I instantly felt sick. I
Speaker 1: saw the number that sent the picture and realized that
Speaker 1: the person who had sent it was the creepy man
Speaker 1: interviewing me. I couldn't focus for the rest of the
Speaker 1: interview and did very poorly. I got a call the
Speaker 1: next day saying I didn't get the job, but the
Speaker 1: man asked me to be his nanny. I declined good
Speaker 1: to make matters worse. His boss and the owner of
Speaker 1: the company was his wife. I didn't feel like I
Speaker 1: could even face her. I didn't I know I didn't
Speaker 1: do anything wrong at all, but I felt bad for her.
Speaker 1: I didn't know if I should tell anyone about the
Speaker 1: incident or just let it be. I decided to tell
Speaker 1: my sister and we talked about it for a while
Speaker 1: and decided to go to the police and labor board.
Speaker 1: Many people told me I was overreacting and that I
Speaker 1: should just quote let it go. I debated what to do,
Speaker 1: but realized if I if I let it go, he
Speaker 1: would think it's okay, which it is a not. I
Speaker 1: went to the police and was directed to the sex
Speaker 1: crimes unit and got set up with the detective. She
Speaker 1: was super helpful and so so nice. She went and
Speaker 1: talked to the wife, confirming it was his number and everything.
Speaker 1: She sat down with them both and got the man
Speaker 1: to confess that he sent the picture to me on purpose.
Speaker 1: The wife was super upset. The detective also found out
Speaker 1: that he interviewed eleven other young girls, but due to
Speaker 1: laws in Canada against soliciting, we won't know if he
Speaker 1: did this to them as well unless they come forward.
Speaker 1: This was put on his record and his record was flagged.
Speaker 1: If he ever does something like this again, he'll be
Speaker 1: in big trouble. I'm currently still working with the labor board.
Speaker 1: I know Dick Pick isn't that's serious, but figuring out
Speaker 1: who sent it to me made me feel helpless and weak,
Speaker 1: just like my previous situation. Am I overreacting about everything.
Speaker 1: I can't talk to anyone because no one knows what
Speaker 1: happened before and why. I feel so awful about this
Speaker 1: situation now. I feel like if I bring it up
Speaker 1: the rape from years ago, people won't care or will
Speaker 1: judge me. I also can't talk to my family about
Speaker 1: it because they don't even know I've had sex and
Speaker 1: they would be disappointed. They're super religious. I'm just not
Speaker 1: sure what to do and I feel awful about everything.
Speaker 1: I hope you read this and can reply with some advice.
Speaker 1: You guys are so empowering. I love listening. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much. PS. That detective called me the day after
Speaker 1: and told me she was impressed with my detective skills
Speaker 1: and that I was smart. She asked me to talk
Speaker 1: to come to talk to her sometime about looking into
Speaker 1: a career in the force and eventually becoming a detective.
Speaker 1: Coolest thing ever. No, Normally I would say no, one's
Speaker 1: gonna make you feel bad or not believe you for
Speaker 1: being raped, like that would be my typical reaction. But
Speaker 1: uh no, you might run into that, which is really
Speaker 1: fucking sad. I feel like, uh, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: The past week I've had we get you say this
Speaker 1: all the time. We get an email about rape at
Speaker 1: least once a day. But like, I've had friends who
Speaker 1: have close friends who were raped, like more like five,
Speaker 1: like five instances of rape have been talked about with
Speaker 1: my friends, and I and and the thing that kills me.
Speaker 1: One of the guys we ended up following on on Instagram.
Speaker 1: My friend told me everything had happened. I was like, fuck,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah. He texted her the next day
Speaker 1: to to make it seem like it was consensual. Hey,
Speaker 1: I had fun last night. You want to hang out
Speaker 1: and I and we kind of looked it up on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Wow, that dude is just walking around, just
Speaker 1: fucking walking around like nothing, like he's not in trouble
Speaker 1: for anything. And I'm like, I wonder what he's thinking.
Speaker 1: So really good call and reporting. You are not overreacting
Speaker 1: at all at all, because I be in this case.
Speaker 1: I think I think these these incidents like this are
Speaker 1: rarely isolated, rarely and as this girl, this girl guy
Speaker 1: interviewed to leave another younger girls probably did that to
Speaker 1: them as well. Yeah, And so it's just like and
Speaker 1: also it's like, is this just gonna be a guy
Speaker 1: who sends dick pics? Or is this something that's going
Speaker 1: to escalate into something more serious? So it's like nipped
Speaker 1: things in the bud before they become a bigger problem
Speaker 1: than they need to be. Like, is it like you know, obviously,
Speaker 1: like this triggered something and you based off a separate experience,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't matter. Like, this is a professional guy,
Speaker 1: you were in a professional environment. He did something inappropriate,
Speaker 1: made you feel he put up your interviews. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that he should you know, spend you know, months
Speaker 1: in jail, but he obviously he absolutely, Like the labor
Speaker 1: department should be aware of it, and they are. Shouldn't
Speaker 1: be a person who can hire people. Yeah, and he's
Speaker 1: he's not he's not a person that should be around
Speaker 1: young No, he shouldn't, yeah, exactly. And the fact that
Speaker 1: he has his record is flagged because you said something
Speaker 1: that means that when it does happen the next time,
Speaker 1: and I'm I would not be surprised if it did.
Speaker 1: The look at his record and go, oh, he's a
Speaker 1: repeat offender. So the you know, I was. I don't
Speaker 1: know why rape has been like such a camp like
Speaker 1: I've read an article about um rapes that were deemed
Speaker 1: not false. There was another word for another adjective for it,
Speaker 1: and uh, not rape be enough. Yeah, exactly, it wasn't
Speaker 1: rape enough. But BuzzFeed, I love buzzfee when they do
Speaker 1: these investigative stories. Did an article about the Baltimore Police Department,
Speaker 1: and they actually looked into some of the rapes that
Speaker 1: were declared like not really a rape, and there was
Speaker 1: no follow up by the detective after the initial statement
Speaker 1: of the victim coming forward saying I was raped and
Speaker 1: that was it. And one of the people that had
Speaker 1: raped this girl ended up going to jail years down
Speaker 1: the road for like a burglary or some other crime,
Speaker 1: and that rape wasn't on his records. The rape wasn't
Speaker 1: on his record because the officer. The officer said, and
Speaker 1: I quote and this is not an exaggeration. She didn't
Speaker 1: try to resist hard enough with in the report and
Speaker 1: there's a link to the report. It's like, dude, well
Speaker 1: there's a huge fucking problem happening in this world with rape,
Speaker 1: and I don't know how to fucking solve it. But
Speaker 1: god damn it. I feel like every day, at least
Speaker 1: five times somebody I'm either reading a horrible article about rape,
Speaker 1: somebody's emailing us about rape, or one of my friends
Speaker 1: is saying someone they are very close, we've got rapes.
Speaker 1: It is. It is so fucked up. So I think
Speaker 1: what we can do one small thing? It isn't a
Speaker 1: small thing. It's a big thing because I understand why
Speaker 1: someone would not want to report it. But reporting this stuff,
Speaker 1: even though you do face the challenge of a police
Speaker 1: officer saying he didn't resist hard enough or whatever whatever
Speaker 1: dumb bullshit he or she would say, not all cops
Speaker 1: are bad, But I mean, can you can you go
Speaker 1: in and ask for a female police officer. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but you in that particular case where
Speaker 1: it was cited that she didn't resist hard enough. Uh,
Speaker 1: person who is a police officer that is trained to
Speaker 1: work with sexual assault victims never contacted her, and that's
Speaker 1: that has to happen, Like she has to be kept
Speaker 1: being touched so she could be provided with resources. So anyway,
Speaker 1: the fact that you are not overreacting and the fact
Speaker 1: that you reported this is major. I think that's a
Speaker 1: huge help. It's a huge help to other women who
Speaker 1: would potentially fall victim to this sucking asshole and and
Speaker 1: maybe not want to say anything. So it's also like
Speaker 1: just a wake up call to that individual person to
Speaker 1: kind of stop things, to be like so that guy
Speaker 1: now knows, Hey, what I'm doing is wrong and I
Speaker 1: need to stop doing this. Otherwise I'm gonna get in
Speaker 1: big trouble. Like sometimes that's what people need exactly, And
Speaker 1: no one is getting punished. No one is getting punished,
Speaker 1: They're just walking around free. It's I know some people
Speaker 1: are getting punished for I mean, Turner's name is ruined.
Speaker 1: He needs to change his whole identity. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: I don't I don't get what. I don't get it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I anyway, you're not roverreacting and h
Speaker 1: you did everything right, and I'm so sorry that this
Speaker 1: has happened to you twice. I'm so sorry. But uh yeah,
Speaker 1: well and obviously obviously yeah, obviously the incident with your ex,
Speaker 1: the rape, but yeah, that was is uh still affecting you.
Speaker 1: So I mean, I think maybe if you can't talk
Speaker 1: to anyone that you know about it, you definitely need
Speaker 1: to talk to someone about because the fact that like
Speaker 1: you wrote us, and this is the first time you
Speaker 1: you're telling anyone about it years later, like and it's
Speaker 1: and it's still affecting other things in your life. Just
Speaker 1: talk to a therapist about it. It's really helpful in
Speaker 1: trying to connect some thoughts or or getting clarity on something.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just think it would really it
Speaker 1: would really help to talk somebody who has dealt with
Speaker 1: these issues before, and talk to people who have who
Speaker 1: have been victims of this horrible, very very very very
Speaker 1: very common crime. Yeah. And uh, you know everyone listening,
Speaker 1: if you're having sex with someone, then they say no
Speaker 1: or stop. Stop, no questions asked. You gotta stop. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Stop. It doesn't matter if it's your girlfriend,
Speaker 1: your wife, your boyfriend, your husband. It doesn't matter. If
Speaker 1: you have had sex a hundred times before, it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter if it's the first time. You have to stop.
Speaker 1: You can't you just end of the story where you
Speaker 1: don't stop, that's rape. Yeah, so that's it, don't Yeah,
Speaker 1: super East consent all right, okay, Clarice. Yeah, so guys,
Speaker 1: we have are very fun guests today. Um, and we
Speaker 1: woke up super early to see this interview because it's
Speaker 1: the only time we could get him. And he woke
Speaker 1: me up with a text message of a very sweet
Speaker 1: email that he had written to the podcast in two
Speaker 1: thousand fourteen. And I want to read it in the
Speaker 1: intro and that's cute. It's March thirteenth, two thousand and fourteen.
Speaker 1: The email has dated and it's a great for first podcast.
Speaker 1: Hey girls, I just listened to your first podcast and
Speaker 1: loved it. Great job, keep them coming. I think you
Speaker 1: are hitting a lot of topics not a lot of
Speaker 1: people want to touch. One day, I hope I can
Speaker 1: be a guest anyway. You got yourself a fan and
Speaker 1: today that is coming true. He's not just like someone
Speaker 1: who wrote and he's a communa is now we know,
Speaker 1: but we didn't know him. We haven't known him very long.
Speaker 1: Christina just met him very He's very funny, he's very
Speaker 1: interesting and uh, he's gonna make you laugh. But also
Speaker 1: like you think, I think you think. Ladies and gentlemen,
Speaker 1: please give it up for Tony Brooklyn battles bat. Don
Speaker 1: you gotta beat named. I'll tell you that I don't
Speaker 1: want to hold the gun. If a show will be
Speaker 1: your baby, and I'll give you running down m Well.
Speaker 1: I can tell you gotten attitude. Don't miss some when
Speaker 1: they go. But I can tell you got a problem
Speaker 1: with the way thing's been before. And when you're walking
Speaker 1: down the street, you got your head on rio though,
Speaker 1: Why don't you take a little around and pay the
Speaker 1: ticket to the show, Just ride the wave and come home.
Speaker 1: You got to say. So there you go, fucking things
Speaker 1: right up a gamble bade. That's how it goes. You know,
Speaker 1: I know we're don't too well. I feel the yips,
Speaker 1: I feel the flow. And see, tell me you'll entertainment
Speaker 1: piece before too much it grows away. At least you'll
Speaker 1: learn to hide it just before too much it chose.
Speaker 1: I feel left to left, feel the yips, I feel
Speaker 1: the floors. You got to thank put it in. Oh hi,
Speaker 1: Tony Brooklyn. Wow, what a day. We're doing something we've
Speaker 1: never done before. And it's a couple of times like
Speaker 1: we're doing a lot of things we've never known before.
Speaker 1: It's ten forty nine am. That's a weird Like Tim, guys,
Speaker 1: we fucked on record. I mean I think we've gone
Speaker 1: into the wee hours of the night. Like so at
Speaker 1: two am would be such a good that good person
Speaker 1: to have on a two in the morning, I'm like
Speaker 1: a crack. Yeah, well you're what in two in the
Speaker 1: morning fire cracker? I think you said I'm a defined
Speaker 1: cracker at two in the morning. Does that mean, Tony Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: I think we just made that up to me mad
Speaker 1: new words. And we're also um having a celebratory focus
Speaker 1: spritza Tony, he can I get Jenny to drink maybe water?
Speaker 1: And he goes vodka and I was like, well, I
Speaker 1: do have Tito's And look at you, man, what a
Speaker 1: fun person. We just follow the guests, you know, whatever
Speaker 1: the guest does, we we we make it. So I
Speaker 1: think that's the way to go. Yeah. Absolutely, So what's
Speaker 1: your deal? What's my deal? Very broad question? One hour?
Speaker 1: Where you're from? How is your mom? Was your dad cool? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: My pops was a piece of ship. My mom's all right.
Speaker 1: She's a little off in the hand though. I think
Speaker 1: she's like bipolar. So she's never been diagnosed, but I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure Tony Brooklyn diagnosed. Tony Brooklyn diagnosed. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Well I'm actually Ukrainian. You look Ukrainian yeah in the face. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And we're doing by the other than one other Ukrainian
Speaker 1: person we know, Boris. Yeah. Do look like you? Guys
Speaker 1: kind of look a little bit similar. Maybe you're both
Speaker 1: white and have round face. Yeah, you're both. I look
Speaker 1: at you, so I'm like, you're white with something else.
Speaker 1: Factory factory made white. That's what I like. Well, we
Speaker 1: were talking. You look kind of like an ethnic kid rock,
Speaker 1: but like a white ethnic. Wow, that's no, I haven't
Speaker 1: heard that. But your picture you're welcome. I'm not even
Speaker 1: what looks like still around? He's handsome? Is that a
Speaker 1: compliment that? I mean he's trailer chic, but I think
Speaker 1: he's I'm sorry, what then, did you just say if
Speaker 1: we spoiler sheet, if I always lived in a trailer park,
Speaker 1: I think kid rock would be people at the trailer
Speaker 1: trailer park. But one of the reasons why it looks
Speaker 1: like he's howes guy to trailer park because he has
Speaker 1: a long hair. He's long hair past his tits so
Speaker 1: that you don't happy. Both have like a Ukrainian flair
Speaker 1: to your face. You gotta pick one. Either I look
Speaker 1: like trailer trash or I said trailer sheet. That's very different.
Speaker 1: Tony podcast is about loving yourself. So do you love yourself?
Speaker 1: I love myself very often. Very is a masturbation joke. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys are quick with the jokes. Yeah, we're working
Speaker 1: to the same person. How often do you jerk it?
Speaker 1: When times? As I can try to beat my record.
Speaker 1: You're married, though, correct, and you live with your wife, right,
Speaker 1: so how, how and why are you jerking off so
Speaker 1: much that the one doesn't necessarily have to, you know,
Speaker 1: like I could jerk off and be married. I can
Speaker 1: have sex and still jerke off. But we were actually
Speaker 1: we haven't been. Uh the sizzle isn't there. We're fighting
Speaker 1: right now, I mean for like for you just had
Speaker 1: a fight, like for morning, or like the past month
Speaker 1: and a half a month long. Well, how long have
Speaker 1: you been married for it's going to be two years
Speaker 1: October ninth. How long have you been together total? I
Speaker 1: know for about six years, So we've been on and
Speaker 1: off for six years. We got married two years ago.
Speaker 1: But and so is this the longest period you guys
Speaker 1: have been fighting during your marriage? Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1: But it's it's when you pass each other in the hallway.
Speaker 1: It's not like that we I mean, I don't really.
Speaker 1: It's weird because she's been out of work for almost
Speaker 1: a month now, so she's been home. I've been working
Speaker 1: and doing comedy, so she's like bored and she's about
Speaker 1: you know. It's also tense. I mean, like when someone
Speaker 1: loses their job, I feel like they it's like kind
Speaker 1: of a knock to your ego, and you're also confined
Speaker 1: to the same space more often than you normally are,
Speaker 1: so that would make me nuts. I mean when Steven
Speaker 1: and I we fucking fought so hard when her kid,
Speaker 1: Sandy happened and he had to move his desk upstairs
Speaker 1: in the living room. I hated him for three months.
Speaker 1: And you're not even married. I'm not even married. It's legal.
Speaker 1: That's an expensive breakup, it was. Divorce is just an
Speaker 1: expensive breakup, right, it's I don't know yet. I'm looking
Speaker 1: forward to my first divorce. Are you, like, are you
Speaker 1: planning that? No, No, it's inevitable. I'm a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: There's no way she's gonna stay over all. Right, let's
Speaker 1: start there. How are you a piece of ship? Well,
Speaker 1: I was born and I'm only I was like Tony
Speaker 1: Brookly on taking a vodka away from you. I looked
Speaker 1: at young nine, no, and I was like, hey, maybe
Speaker 1: drinking a lot of water. No, I was, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I got kicked out of like first grade and then
Speaker 1: second grade in Ukraine was a piece of ship. I
Speaker 1: was like, wait, is it harder or it's got to
Speaker 1: be hard? Yeah, and it's it's in Ukraine. It's like, uh,
Speaker 1: it's like like you dishonor your family and ship. Like
Speaker 1: everybody knows in the first grade, you dishonored your Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's weird because everybody had. Everybody had really high hopes
Speaker 1: for me because like my my grandparents side, they're both
Speaker 1: doctors on one side. On the other side, well, you
Speaker 1: can't moved a little ectoly because the micro has pointed
Speaker 1: up um. And then on the other side of my
Speaker 1: grandparents were like engineers and a teacher, so they had
Speaker 1: they had real high hopes for me. And then and
Speaker 1: then I turned out to be the first grade I mean,
Speaker 1: what did you do in first grade? So I elbowed
Speaker 1: the kid we were warming up in in pt We're
Speaker 1: running around in the circle and he kept stepping on
Speaker 1: my shoes. So I stopped real fast and elbowed them
Speaker 1: in the stomach. And I had to bring like an
Speaker 1: I like ruptured something. Yeah, they had to bring an ambulance.
Speaker 1: It's a big deal. Like the whole school was like
Speaker 1: what the fun. I feel like that would have gone okay,
Speaker 1: Like if you just elbowed someone and didn't rupture something,
Speaker 1: everything would have been fine. But because your elbow, now, yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta get shipped for being a very accomplished Elbower.
Speaker 1: That's not fair maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I
Speaker 1: deserved a little bit more. I don't know, he was
Speaker 1: not important. Apparently he's not a school for like two weeks.
Speaker 1: Whats it was? I I was, I was out and
Speaker 1: definitely hanging out at home. Yeah. And then the second
Speaker 1: in second grade, I took a couple of cherry bombs,
Speaker 1: charity bombs, cherry bombs, charity bombs. I was like, what
Speaker 1: is that when you you know, when you're jump in
Speaker 1: a pool for the homeless, or I take cherry bombs
Speaker 1: and I put them in you know those little draining
Speaker 1: pipes on the side of buildings. Yeah, I stuffed them
Speaker 1: in the thing and it when it exploded, it shattered
Speaker 1: the windows in like three floors because the terrorist. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we have a Ukrainian terrorist on the pod. I am
Speaker 1: so honored to have you in my living room and
Speaker 1: I always want you on a good side. And then
Speaker 1: we immigrated here. My mom thought I was going to
Speaker 1: be a doctor. Yeah, that's how I said. She's a
Speaker 1: little off and that she believes in her son. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say. I was like, that doesn't sound
Speaker 1: like bipolar. That sounds like she had a conditional yea,
Speaker 1: at some point, it's a little delusional, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I was in military school and I dropped
Speaker 1: out of college three times. Yeah, but you can't give
Speaker 1: up on someone in the second grade. That's kind of
Speaker 1: them because we do stuff like she wasn't there, she
Speaker 1: was already here. I was with my grandparents, Okay, she
Speaker 1: was in the States. I was in Ukraine. Whose decision
Speaker 1: was to go to military school? Oh, I kind of.
Speaker 1: I was quote ordered to co you could be court
Speaker 1: ordered to go to military school the government. Wow, I
Speaker 1: am learning so much about my country. Was actually a
Speaker 1: really good deal because I was in juvie. I was
Speaker 1: in bridges and I was like a super reduced sentence.
Speaker 1: So wait, what did you get? What did you do
Speaker 1: to get into juvie that I don't think I want
Speaker 1: to talk about. He was like, so glad you didn't involve.
Speaker 1: It was a fight. It was just a bad fight
Speaker 1: with another person with a penis. I don't care. Is
Speaker 1: anyone dead, Okay. If they died, it was from wounds
Speaker 1: and it happened a while after. If if they died,
Speaker 1: it's because they were weak. I don't know. If they're
Speaker 1: like I wasn't in contact, but they might be dead, right,
Speaker 1: but when you left the scene of the crime, they were,
Speaker 1: they were alive. We didn't get charged with murder. So
Speaker 1: you're fine. Oh my good, prison terrible? How long were
Speaker 1: you in there? Well, Juvie, I mean, like, what's the
Speaker 1: difference between Juvie six months? So three months longer than
Speaker 1: brock Turner. Oh gosh, and he didn't rape anybody? Wow Erica.
Speaker 1: So yeah, but yeah, what's wait? So what's the I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously Julius for younger people, but is what is there
Speaker 1: differences in the environment or how your treat I would assume.
Speaker 1: So when I was never in Big boys out, well,
Speaker 1: I did spend some time in Brikers during transferring. No,
Speaker 1: but it was like it was like a couple of
Speaker 1: hours or whatever. So I don't I don't really know,
Speaker 1: but I would assume. So I know that Bridges shut
Speaker 1: down a couple of years after I was there because
Speaker 1: the conditions were so bad. Like the seal used to
Speaker 1: beat the ship out of kids. Oh wow, the Navy seals.
Speaker 1: Not No, the guys at the prison going, oh why
Speaker 1: the Navy kid? What they do? America's fucked up? So
Speaker 1: the military school was the ship. I loved military school.
Speaker 1: I ran that motherfucker. Okay, so you're also kind of
Speaker 1: a terrorist. Yeah, okay, now everyone was my bitch. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The way you said that makes me seem like think
Speaker 1: that everyone was scared of you. Not everybody. People are
Speaker 1: better read and to sed what what what would be
Speaker 1: a reason to be scared at you? You get there,
Speaker 1: and it's based on the majority of the school was
Speaker 1: ran by the kids. And then you get rank, you
Speaker 1: get upflets, you get a rank, and you're in charge
Speaker 1: of a certain amount of people. And so you get there,
Speaker 1: you're a new cadet. You don't have any rank, so
Speaker 1: everybody's in charge of and that didn't really sit well
Speaker 1: with me. So what I did was I started a
Speaker 1: boxing club. And anybody who had a problem with me
Speaker 1: because I didn't like to take orders, to take orders
Speaker 1: like due to orderlies like cleaning toilets, like I'm not
Speaker 1: clean toilets, well the places, I would fight him. And
Speaker 1: you got away with that by by making up a
Speaker 1: boxing club fan I was. I had an affair with
Speaker 1: the commandant's daughter, who was thirty six at the time.
Speaker 1: How were you, Yeah, Tony Brooklyn how does an any
Speaker 1: teen year old wu a thirty six year old in jail?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, any more freedom? She was so
Speaker 1: she was the forensic science teacher, she was the swim
Speaker 1: coach and the tennis coach because she was the very
Speaker 1: well rounded I was gonna say that Benjamin Franklin of
Speaker 1: military and the girl. Oh yeah women. Well school was
Speaker 1: coed actually, so I had it. Yeah, you could bang
Speaker 1: in the school. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't encouraged. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was definitely frowned upon. Wow. So then and what
Speaker 1: guys come that would make you want you to like
Speaker 1: clean the toilet? Would they come to show up at
Speaker 1: your boxing club to try and fight you and you
Speaker 1: would you win? I had I have thirteen consecutive knockout winds.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's what this is for. Yeah, those
Speaker 1: are little cigarette burns. Wait, oh, so cigarette after every
Speaker 1: fight that I want to put one out and won
Speaker 1: the fight, which is a good thing. But then you
Speaker 1: put a cigarette out on your not saying it makes
Speaker 1: complete sense. I'm just saying that something. Well, you just
Speaker 1: you just want to get too cocky. I guess so
Speaker 1: you got and that's that's you bringing yourself back down
Speaker 1: to earth every time. Every time we have a good set,
Speaker 1: we should figure on our arm. You would think so,
Speaker 1: but actually what it does is it scares people off
Speaker 1: because now they know how many nights, how many times
Speaker 1: I want? Oh, it's like it's kind of like hey Arnold, like,
Speaker 1: don't hit me. That is exactly well, actually you do
Speaker 1: kind of remind me of like the guy who owns
Speaker 1: his apartment on Hey Arnold. Yes, because he's Ukrainian. Actually ye, Well,
Speaker 1: shout out to whoever created Hey Arnold. You did a
Speaker 1: great job, we know to Ukrainian people and it's spot on.
Speaker 1: So your experience at military school, you kind of sound
Speaker 1: like you ran the joint. Yeah, it was the best
Speaker 1: time I have. I didn't want to leave and were
Speaker 1: you but you were. It's like, from what you've told
Speaker 1: us so far, it seems like you didn't um take
Speaker 1: advantage of your power and use it for evil. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I just use it for order. And yeah, I just
Speaker 1: wanted people because a lot of the times it just
Speaker 1: wasn't fair. Somebody was being a dicti kid and just
Speaker 1: because they had the uplet, just because they outranked them,
Speaker 1: have them with somebody. And I said let's settle it.
Speaker 1: Like man, basically I would I would have I would
Speaker 1: be there for the fight. I wouldn't. You know, nobody
Speaker 1: really got hurt, like like some some kids got their
Speaker 1: broken nose broken nose and their nose broken. Um. But
Speaker 1: other than that, like minush it man are so weird?
Speaker 1: Why are you guys like fighting all the time. It's
Speaker 1: a stress reliever and but just masturbate is it more
Speaker 1: of a stress It's fighting more of a stress reliever
Speaker 1: than masturbation probably, yeah, because you go into like that
Speaker 1: fight or flight thing. Yeah, I would imagine everything becomes
Speaker 1: real instantly jerking off, everything becomes real after you come,
Speaker 1: you're coming, everything comes fun back like ship like this
Speaker 1: is this is real life from os knocking on my door. Okay, nothing,
Speaker 1: I got a parking ticket, that's true. I mean like yeah,
Speaker 1: masturbation is kind of taking you, like on a journey,
Speaker 1: Like it's like a carpet ride for your pussy or
Speaker 1: your dick or your dick. Yeah, okay, I got it.
Speaker 1: Well a lot of times after I masturbated him like
Speaker 1: that was dumb. And then I'm like what you gotta
Speaker 1: do some ship or I'm like I'm starving one of
Speaker 1: the times I don't think I've ever went I'm starving
Speaker 1: really after masturbating because I just went through a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of six ships in my head and food isn't
Speaker 1: really I mean, like, what kind of what what do
Speaker 1: you think of when you ask? Now that you bring
Speaker 1: it up, I mean, oh, man, I don't know. I pouring,
Speaker 1: pouring pretty pretty much ruined me. Like huge, anal gaping?
Speaker 1: Hi like that? What do you like about anal gaping?
Speaker 1: Because that ship's freaking wait? So wait, just like have
Speaker 1: you seen that? I have not seen this well, I
Speaker 1: mean I have an idea from the title. It's one
Speaker 1: of female puts her tussy up in the air like
Speaker 1: she just don't care. But then she she probably has
Speaker 1: like has had a butt plug at her but or
Speaker 1: something because her asshole is like, okay, dilated asshole. Not
Speaker 1: cute about a dilated asshole? My book, however, I do not.
Speaker 1: I am I'm not banging chicks. So what do you
Speaker 1: find attractive about it? Dilated? I don't know. I always
Speaker 1: enjoyed circles. I don't know how to answer that question.
Speaker 1: What do you mean love shape? I just I just
Speaker 1: I don't know. iMIND it fascinating that. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: I find it fascinating that he could do that. It is,
Speaker 1: but the human body is well, I don't know, butts
Speaker 1: and like I like, I like when girls stick their
Speaker 1: butts up in the air too. And corn I mean,
Speaker 1: I've never seen I have to now google this when
Speaker 1: we are done with the podcast, but I kind of
Speaker 1: want to google image one. As long as you can
Speaker 1: get a reaction live on air, but as long as
Speaker 1: you can't like see like the poop inside. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. I'm like, they hosted her off. Well,
Speaker 1: she holds himself off, I hope, But I don't know
Speaker 1: how conditions are well, I mean, if your butts out
Speaker 1: of the answer and then you have a little spot,
Speaker 1: I would be like, oh can someone I feel I
Speaker 1: thought you can hold this? I see two feet up induratus,
Speaker 1: you yellow, something, a little smudge. Do have you ever
Speaker 1: been in the physical presence of a keeping asshole? I'm
Speaker 1: not Are you bummed about that? You know what? It's
Speaker 1: porn over promises man, something something about porn, something about
Speaker 1: the fantasy. I think it's more hot than in real life,
Speaker 1: because I don't think you mean unless I porn star
Speaker 1: who's cleaned herself out. If your wife wanted to do
Speaker 1: it clean itself out, I doubt that I thought she would.
Speaker 1: But if she did, well, then I'm down if she would.
Speaker 1: What would you stick your dick in? It? Are just
Speaker 1: looking at? I mean, if it's right there, why would
Speaker 1: I just what would I do? Take pictures of it? Baby?
Speaker 1: That's a feat? Are you wait? Are these assholes so
Speaker 1: gaping that like your dick could easily fit in? Just
Speaker 1: like just like it's perfectly you could like lose a
Speaker 1: golf ball now, mare, I could lose a golf ball
Speaker 1: out there? You can find something with golf balls and
Speaker 1: gaping anisies right now? Oh really? Yeah, I think I'm
Speaker 1: thinking you want to look for it on your phone.
Speaker 1: You said it like you know it existed, but you
Speaker 1: didn't want to let us know that you had already
Speaker 1: go I've already seen it for a fact. He's like
Speaker 1: someone I have a inkling. Oh my god, that's really
Speaker 1: really I love learning some things. I mean, like, I
Speaker 1: you know, I knew, but holes got big. This was
Speaker 1: more like in the male gay community though. And if
Speaker 1: you're you know, if you're listening to this episode, and
Speaker 1: you're a child, you're a young person. Just don't don't google,
Speaker 1: all right, we say things to protect you. Ye, we
Speaker 1: do the hard card core research, so you don't. This
Speaker 1: isn't one not to do podcast. And believe me, I
Speaker 1: wish when I was fifteen that some twenty eight year
Speaker 1: old would be like, don't google. Gaging assholes, Christina, And
Speaker 1: you're not gonna have you seen have you seen the prolapse? No?
Speaker 1: Do you think that's hot? Okay? God, oh my god,
Speaker 1: escaping assholes? I keep its goad. Wow, you can handle
Speaker 1: a lot. Correct, it's just usually it's not that bad.
Speaker 1: But I mean, like there's one here. I mean, one
Speaker 1: of one's probably affected is something. It's Google images. Well,
Speaker 1: this one that can't all be perfect. This one right
Speaker 1: here kind of looks like someone like animated something like
Speaker 1: it does like a mouth. It looks like like photo
Speaker 1: like the Bremier triangle or something like. You're just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm on a Voyage's a voyage. There's one. I mean
Speaker 1: I think it's this is just shows number one. Everyone's
Speaker 1: a unique snowflake, and so like this one's not that one.
Speaker 1: It's so wide, dude, it's so big. I'm just I'm
Speaker 1: so wide. And how do you fascinated? Do they in
Speaker 1: the videos? Do they put a plug in there's a man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they do a whole bunch of ship. They put a
Speaker 1: bump plug, a fist. I've set going there before. You've
Speaker 1: seen a fun going a butth hole? And what did
Speaker 1: you what were you thinking inside your head? I can't
Speaker 1: as the foot was going into the butt and there's
Speaker 1: not really a coherent thought. That's it's really yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not thinking like that's interesting. Actually, you know what I mean? Right, Okay,
Speaker 1: oh god, you don't even it's not as good as
Speaker 1: I was going to be. But yeah, it's a little
Speaker 1: it looks it looks like it's like a part of
Speaker 1: a horror film and and someone like special effects did
Speaker 1: it doesn't look real like cabin in the woods, but
Speaker 1: in my asshole? Right, cabin in my ass Cabin in
Speaker 1: my ass Oh poor title. That's free to you guys,
Speaker 1: could take it. And I just want to go into
Speaker 1: production you Silicon Valley listeners or wherever they shoot porn.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, So what what did When was the
Speaker 1: first time you had sex? I was young. I was young.
Speaker 1: It was in the first time. Yeah, it was in Ukraine,
Speaker 1: but it was the second No. No, I wasn't in
Speaker 1: the first second grade. I went back. Ok it wasn't good.
Speaker 1: It wasn't that early. No. Um, the first time I
Speaker 1: had vaginal sex was actually the camp I went to
Speaker 1: to a camp in Ukraine. I was there for a
Speaker 1: couple of months, and it was with a much older lady.
Speaker 1: She's one at the time. I was like thirteen, fourteen. Whoa, Okay,
Speaker 1: probably yeah, well even Ukraine made that's up. I don't
Speaker 1: really know the laws over there, but I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: apparently you don't. Now. You said the first time you
Speaker 1: had vaginal sex if you had anal prior. No, it
Speaker 1: wasn't anal. I had got had Okay, so wait, so
Speaker 1: and you said you came when you were like thirteen
Speaker 1: or fourteen. That's fine, and then but nothing came out. Really,
Speaker 1: you have mastered the three before, so I knew it
Speaker 1: was gonna cull, but I didn't know it was gonna
Speaker 1: I like came in like two pops or something like that.
Speaker 1: I'm just so, how how does thirteen year old having
Speaker 1: sex with a one year old woman like that's that's
Speaker 1: like having sex with a child like, how did you
Speaker 1: even get that to happen? First of all, yeah, I
Speaker 1: was the ship, is what happened. I was the fucking
Speaker 1: ship and described going to more detail, how were you?
Speaker 1: I couldn't have possibly said anything that she was like
Speaker 1: I want to funk that kid. I think she was
Speaker 1: like I want to that kid. Regardless, she was probably
Speaker 1: like like there was something wrong, like a pedophile? Is
Speaker 1: that pedophile? Or I think that a file? Yeah, a file. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't know there was subsections to this ship.
Speaker 1: There is, but well there's one if you're like interested
Speaker 1: in teenagers, and then one if you're interested in like
Speaker 1: children like four. You know, we like to grow lighting
Speaker 1: stuff to you know, to lessen the shame. So so
Speaker 1: after you had sex with her, what happened? We're like
Speaker 1: gotta go by, like did you never see her again?
Speaker 1: So what happened was we almost got caught. So I came,
Speaker 1: I pulled out, and I was panicking. I was like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, that was really fast, and then somebody opened
Speaker 1: the door. So I kind of got away with the
Speaker 1: with the really quick non satisfying the other lady, and
Speaker 1: so we kind of brust it off and we didn't
Speaker 1: talk about like, surely this twenty one year the woman
Speaker 1: isn't fucking this thirteen year old boy. So no one
Speaker 1: thought anything. Nothing, we're here, everybody. Nobody lost the job.
Speaker 1: I stayed in the camp. Oh my god. Have you
Speaker 1: always just been attracted to older women? It's I don't
Speaker 1: think so, But you just do you just have game
Speaker 1: with kind of every age? Yeah, I suppose. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I never thought of it as a game. I don't
Speaker 1: think I have game. I don't think that's you got
Speaker 1: a Ukrainian charm? Well what is it? Like? How do
Speaker 1: when you're interested in a woman before you were married? Like,
Speaker 1: how do you get someone to come home with you? Um?
Speaker 1: I don't know, talk to him? I didn't tell me more. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I really don't. I don't have a pickup line. That's good.
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't go on THEO based on looks.
Speaker 1: I don't. I've never been like, hey, o't care what
Speaker 1: you look like. I don't really care what you're doing
Speaker 1: with your life. I don't know. I find somebody interesting,
Speaker 1: hung out and done. Something happened. I never had a game,
Speaker 1: I really never did. You're like, you're not need for game?
Speaker 1: Is your game exactly, Like he doesn't even want me.
Speaker 1: That's so funked up. I'm gonna trying to suck up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're like, I've I've dated some hot girls. Man. I
Speaker 1: dated uh a trapieze artist from circu A. Did she
Speaker 1: do some crazy trapeze. Yeah, she was very flexible. My
Speaker 1: mother was in love with the show. She was Ukrainian,
Speaker 1: she was blind, Ukrainian, skinny, and she was she actually
Speaker 1: she wasn't. She wasn't. She wasn't my type. I like
Speaker 1: dark hair, big gass girls. Yeah, but they saw him
Speaker 1: about Uh yeah, she's but it was she was the
Speaker 1: first girl to ever break up with me, not the
Speaker 1: other way, and and for the first time. It was
Speaker 1: the most horrible fucking break up. Was it because she
Speaker 1: was so hot? No, it was the way she did.
Speaker 1: So we were dating for a bad eight months or so.
Speaker 1: She lived in Canada, she lived in Montreal and I
Speaker 1: lived here, so she would she would do shows here
Speaker 1: and I'll go up to visit her. So it was
Speaker 1: a kind of a long distance type thing and uh whatever.
Speaker 1: It was three years ago a New Year's I was
Speaker 1: supposed to go meet the parents for the first time.
Speaker 1: So I go out there and it was a blizzard,
Speaker 1: so I had to cancel my bus tickets. I had
Speaker 1: to take the train off. The train got delayed. It
Speaker 1: took me like something like nine hours to get there.
Speaker 1: I get there, I meet all her best friends, whatever, whatever,
Speaker 1: We spend the night, we'll go out. So this is
Speaker 1: a couple of days before New Year's and then something's off.
Speaker 1: She's not talking to me, she's you know, she's kind
Speaker 1: of ignoring me. And we go out and she breaks
Speaker 1: up with me the day before New Year's the day
Speaker 1: before I'm supposed to meet the parents, and she said,
Speaker 1: you have to leave in the morning. I don't want
Speaker 1: you to meet my dad. And her whole thing was, uh,
Speaker 1: she said, I'm trying to quote her here. She said,
Speaker 1: I don't feel it anymore. So some of the along
Speaker 1: the lines of I don't feel anymore. And I was like,
Speaker 1: you couldn't have fucking texted me and said, hey, maybe
Speaker 1: come up, Maybe don't come and spend all this money
Speaker 1: and I bought gifts for like her parents and yeah,
Speaker 1: and then she was like, yeah, you got to leave
Speaker 1: in the morning, and I was like, what the fund
Speaker 1: did you just say, like in the morning, cold hearted Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was really bad. Wow. Did you ever talk to
Speaker 1: her after that? Yeah? A couple of times. That's so
Speaker 1: she was there. I don't know, like a year ago
Speaker 1: I saw her. Well, she like, hey Tony. Well, like
Speaker 1: a couple of months after that, she she skyped me
Speaker 1: and she said, I'm any mistake, Let's get back together.
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, you're fucking psycho? Are you
Speaker 1: kidding me? Yeah? That's mean. Cry. Did you cry? I
Speaker 1: did cry? Cry on the spot too? Oh yeah, well
Speaker 1: I like that. I wouldn't expect that from you. But
Speaker 1: you're in touch with your emotion. It was great. I
Speaker 1: don't know, that's the game. Yeah, yes, I'm the sensitive guy.
Speaker 1: Seriously that I cried, I was first of all, I
Speaker 1: was outraged. I was like so frustrations frustrated, and I
Speaker 1: was like, she goes, yeah, you can call me a bit.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're not a bit, You're a monster. You're
Speaker 1: sucking me. I spent like two Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: spent like two thousand hours on the whole thing. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was pretty bad. What kind of gifts did you
Speaker 1: get her parents? And could you return them? Did you
Speaker 1: remember the receiver? But that's a good move. That makes
Speaker 1: him feel extra bast because it's like you're being a
Speaker 1: little bit like, here you get this gift anyway, you know,
Speaker 1: fucking monster? Wow, I would go I would go psychotic.
Speaker 1: I think that happened to me. I just I just
Speaker 1: downd it with alcohol. The worst part I think was
Speaker 1: my mom. My mom was like, what did you do?
Speaker 1: When I came home and it wasn't you. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: was like, what did you do? I'm like, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about? What I did? Why do you think
Speaker 1: I did? Song? Unconditional love? It? Did you listen to
Speaker 1: any one particular song to help you cope? Breakup? Song?
Speaker 1: We all got him, at least I think so. I
Speaker 1: mean maybe kind of music do you like? I'm a
Speaker 1: nineties hip hop guy? Right, What's the craziest thing you've
Speaker 1: ever done for love? Other than that? That was pretty?
Speaker 1: But you didn't know she was going to break up?
Speaker 1: The craziest thing I've ever done? Full off murders Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean you could be honest, this is the safe space.
Speaker 1: No one's listening. I don't know. I tasted the girl,
Speaker 1: uh for like close to six months before before military school.
Speaker 1: I was in Edward Orgmorrow High school and we went
Speaker 1: to high school together, and uh, she was very luck.
Speaker 1: I know her for a long time too, But she
Speaker 1: was very reluctant to date me because I wasn't like
Speaker 1: the cool kid. I was like, I was like taking
Speaker 1: kids lunch money and ship. You know what. You were
Speaker 1: like bully yeah yeah, yeah, except skinny and smart somehow
Speaker 1: and humble. But so I chased her for about six months.
Speaker 1: I kept asking around, I brought a flowers and I
Speaker 1: finally got it. And then I broke her heart a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks later. And well, a couple of years later,
Speaker 1: that's okay, you're not gonna stay. Usually the odds of
Speaker 1: staying with somebody met in high school very slim. Well,
Speaker 1: and also and what happened? Did she not live up
Speaker 1: to the expectation? Because when you chased we were very
Speaker 1: genuinely in love. She wrote me a poem. I remembered this.
Speaker 1: I was already in military school. She called me up.
Speaker 1: I was one of the kids. I got cell phones
Speaker 1: in military school because you got a boxing club everybody,
Speaker 1: and she called me. She wrote me a poem, and
Speaker 1: it was how she told me she loves me. She
Speaker 1: wrote it into the poem and I was really shocked
Speaker 1: because I don't think I've heard I don't think anybody
Speaker 1: said that to me romantically before. I was like, your
Speaker 1: mom said no, no, like and I was taken back.
Speaker 1: I was and she was like hello. I was like yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: I love you too. I love you too. She was
Speaker 1: like yeah. She was like, you fucking better say that.
Speaker 1: I was about to have a heart attack, Like I
Speaker 1: just poured my heart up. Was it a good poem?
Speaker 1: I mean, don't remember. You know when someone writes a
Speaker 1: poem and they're like, I want to read you my
Speaker 1: poem and you're like okay, and then they read it.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I heard better. I've never heard someone
Speaker 1: who's still living read a poem that they wrote and
Speaker 1: then me be like, oh that was excellent. I'm glad
Speaker 1: that happened. Yeah, do you write poems? I have written
Speaker 1: a poem for a girl. Oh my god. I can't
Speaker 1: believe I didn't know this in advance. I would have
Speaker 1: asked you to bring it. Do you remember it well?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Girls. That was my early writing career,
Speaker 1: writing limericks like love limerick, comedy limericks. Okay, that's okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was about fat cats getting their hair all over
Speaker 1: the couch. So how long were you in military school?
Speaker 1: Three years? And then after that what happened? Um? After that,
Speaker 1: I was very upset. I graduated, I had to leave.
Speaker 1: I was you know how in high school at the
Speaker 1: yearbook they named people like pretty a smile most likely
Speaker 1: to succeed. On my high school yearbook in the back
Speaker 1: of my senior year it says class renegade. Wow, I
Speaker 1: don't even know that was the That just for me,
Speaker 1: that was that was a nice way of saying most
Speaker 1: likely to go to prison. I'm scared on my good
Speaker 1: we gotta give him something so he doesn't shoot up
Speaker 1: the school, but we don't have anything really good to say. Redegade,
Speaker 1: that's awesome, that's bad ass. But yeah, No, I went
Speaker 1: to Hunter College. Oh that's right by mom Manhattan, gonna go.
Speaker 1: I was gonna go pre mad and then I decided
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. And then I tried
Speaker 1: to join the Marine Corps, but they wouldn't have me.
Speaker 1: Why uh I Actually I scored. I scored really got
Speaker 1: on my ask fab, which is as fab. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the test you gotta take to find out it's it's
Speaker 1: the test you gotta take for whatever the five branches,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter where you're going to determine if what
Speaker 1: jobs you could get. And so you scored well, I
Speaker 1: scored well, yeah, but I had to take a psyche
Speaker 1: val and I passed the psychic bell. But just because
Speaker 1: you have to, you had to take it. It's like
Speaker 1: points and not everybody has to take it. Why did
Speaker 1: they want you to take it? Uh, get a boxing club.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what to what kind
Speaker 1: of Do you remember any questions that they asked you?
Speaker 1: It was bullshit questions. He was like, you have a
Speaker 1: problem with alcoholism, and I was like, yeah, yeah, who's
Speaker 1: gonna Like, who's gonna If you're truly like an evil maniac,
Speaker 1: you can answer those questions. It was very much. I
Speaker 1: was out of there in two minutes. The guy was
Speaker 1: just like, go, you're fine. Um. But so what happens
Speaker 1: is in the recruitment office in New York, there's there's
Speaker 1: a certain limit of points that you get, Like for
Speaker 1: every tattoo you have, you have to write a waiver.
Speaker 1: For every minor offense you have, you have to write
Speaker 1: a waiver. And yeah, it's it was a new thing
Speaker 1: I was trying to join. It was two thousand and nine,
Speaker 1: I think, or two thousands and time. You have to
Speaker 1: write a waiver. What are you waiting? Explaining the tattoo,
Speaker 1: saying it's not gang related. I got this tattoo because
Speaker 1: my ex girlfriend's eyes reminded me of the sun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but so what happens is if it's up to a
Speaker 1: certain amount of points or whatever, it stays in the
Speaker 1: house and they deal with it and you still get
Speaker 1: to go. But if it's past a certain point, they
Speaker 1: send it to the e C for like some general
Speaker 1: to look after it or look over it, and then
Speaker 1: once it goes to d C and now it comes back.
Speaker 1: I burned half of my tattoo off on my calf
Speaker 1: to join, because so the regulation was, if you're in
Speaker 1: your pizza uniform, which is shorts and a T shirt,
Speaker 1: and you have a tattoo, has to be smaller than
Speaker 1: your palm, and mine was bigger than my palm, you burnt.
Speaker 1: I burned half of it yourself, or someone didn't what
Speaker 1: a butt a knife? I put a butt a knife,
Speaker 1: so you did. That's some fucking Oranges and New Black ship,
Speaker 1: except it wasn't a Nazi sense. You see now it's right,
Speaker 1: also very impressively large calf muscles. That's just because there's
Speaker 1: no a son. No, no, it's a Buddha. It's an
Speaker 1: evil Buddha sitting on cash. I was gonna say, it
Speaker 1: looks like an evil Buddha. It's an evil Buddhist sitting
Speaker 1: on cat. I like that. You're just like that, that's gone.
Speaker 1: Of course you were a redingade my tattoos for the
Speaker 1: seven dundly Sins. Wow, so that was green slaughter than gluttony. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's cool. I like that. Yeah. I like the theme.
Speaker 1: You're deep, No you are, You're like a mysterious but
Speaker 1: you're you're nice, you're kind. Did you ever witness anything
Speaker 1: fucked up in military school in terms of like sexism,
Speaker 1: sexual assault, misogyny, and mean, besides the fact that my
Speaker 1: thirty six year old teacher had sexually Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: little sexual song. I don't know, I don't think so. No.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, the kids were sucking, but that
Speaker 1: was all consensual. Yeah, well, I mean you you fucking
Speaker 1: the thirty six year old was consensual? Was it not?
Speaker 1: It was? But it was it was. It was one
Speaker 1: of those things where everybody sort of knew about it
Speaker 1: and you couldn't say. But that's the reason they couldn't
Speaker 1: kick me out. I had three boards and militaries. They
Speaker 1: try to kick me out like a couple of times
Speaker 1: every year for what for banging that? Well, no, for
Speaker 1: because I was like, I was like selling cigarettes to
Speaker 1: kids and alcohol and the fight cloud and you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Yeah, it's like there's a lot of points.
Speaker 1: We know Tony's breaking rules, but we never created rules
Speaker 1: for such things. So for the guy, you're the reason
Speaker 1: for the noes selling cigarettes the kids. Yeah, yeah, ye
Speaker 1: oh my god. Wow? What once the first time you
Speaker 1: were really in love? Were you really in love with
Speaker 1: the It seems like you were with the trapeze artists,
Speaker 1: So I think we were getting there. It was I
Speaker 1: had strown feelings for her, but you know, I never
Speaker 1: took off. Okay, I think I was getting there. She was.
Speaker 1: She was a pretty cool chick other than when she
Speaker 1: was a piece of ship, right, but she was she
Speaker 1: only a piece of ship when she dumped you for
Speaker 1: the most part. Yeah, okay, who was it? Was she
Speaker 1: the first person to really get to you? Um? No? No?
Speaker 1: The girl before that, the one that I said I
Speaker 1: chased for a long time. Even after I broke up
Speaker 1: with her, I still I was kind of I felt bad.
Speaker 1: I think that was my real first love. Why did
Speaker 1: why did it end? Though? I think, honestly, I think
Speaker 1: it's because she was a little stunted with where we
Speaker 1: were going sexually. She didn't want to get that asshole.
Speaker 1: She she wasn't into oral, she didn't like so what
Speaker 1: we were doing is like Missionario dog and yeah, but
Speaker 1: so always I I wanted to explore, right, I mean
Speaker 1: that's the problem. I also didn't know how to explain
Speaker 1: it to her because I was a teenage I wasn't
Speaker 1: how do you articulate that? So I just broke up. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: so like I felt, I felt really bad about it after.
Speaker 1: But how so how far now that you are? How
Speaker 1: old are you? Yeah, so you're twenty, and how like?
Speaker 1: How far have you taken it sexually? I don't know
Speaker 1: what the rangers? I think the range is pretty well? Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you, like, can can you talk about some interesting
Speaker 1: things you've done that you know? Maybe I want to learn?
Speaker 1: I'm not maybe you can teach us. I don't think
Speaker 1: I'm super open to every everything like I tried it
Speaker 1: three someones and that was so it was me and
Speaker 1: a buddy of mine and a girl. All right, that
Speaker 1: was right? And then and then I never felt uh
Speaker 1: inadequate in in my area until I saw this guy's dick.
Speaker 1: Because he first he was ready for it. I I
Speaker 1: still kind of I thought he needed a fluff. I
Speaker 1: needed a couple of minutes to get it. I like
Speaker 1: I was. I was into the idea mentally. I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: three somethings, you know what I mean. When he got
Speaker 1: to it, I was kind of like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: There was another guy in here and he's his pants
Speaker 1: were off and his dick was fucking up and it
Speaker 1: was looking it was fucking angry. It was looking at
Speaker 1: me like it was looking at me like I just
Speaker 1: called it the N word. It was like it was like,
Speaker 1: what you're doing in this rule? And I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, No, he's half Dominican, half white. His
Speaker 1: penis was black. Yeah, black. This thing was fucking mean.
Speaker 1: So I was like, yeah, I don't know, and yeah,
Speaker 1: you bought out. But then he found up marrying. Okay,
Speaker 1: well that's a nice story in a weird way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what else you got got fetish or well, I think
Speaker 1: an is my fetish. I think that's what I don't have,
Speaker 1: like a toe fetish or anything. Well, I know I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm an ask man. I don't. I don't care about
Speaker 1: the chess, right, I was. I was hoping maybe you
Speaker 1: were beating chest. That's too weird. I'm not interested in
Speaker 1: chests and the thing. I thought maybe you would be
Speaker 1: like like if like fecal matter was involved, like a
Speaker 1: weirding blood that blood is. It's a thing. Google blood
Speaker 1: play when you get out of here, blood play. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to you know, I'll take it word
Speaker 1: for it. It's a thing. Everything is a thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's because of the internet, right, Yeah, I'm sure it's
Speaker 1: the most up thing you've ever watched on a porn side.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, I think probably the prolapse. Yeah, if you
Speaker 1: if you thought gaping, asshole, can you explain this in
Speaker 1: detail to our listeners? Yeah, So what happens is just
Speaker 1: removed your headphones. What happens is the next step in
Speaker 1: anal gaping gaping is I never thought I thought they
Speaker 1: push out The next step they push out a part
Speaker 1: of their anus to where it it protrudes out of
Speaker 1: the asshole? How do you wait? Which question am I answering?
Speaker 1: I don't know to either one. Are you touching your
Speaker 1: dick while this is happening? Are you just like, well, no,
Speaker 1: that's that's the rabbit hole you go down because you
Speaker 1: start off with like regular anal ship, and then you
Speaker 1: go into like shake your butt with underwear on, and
Speaker 1: then you get yeah, you know the thing with porn
Speaker 1: because it is such a rabbit hole because you're you're like,
Speaker 1: that's kind of funked up, but I still kind of
Speaker 1: like it. Me see how much further I can take this. So,
Speaker 1: how do you think porn has affected you and your sexuality?
Speaker 1: Good question, I'm fucked good answer. I would not recommend.
Speaker 1: I would not recommend over dozing on porn because then
Speaker 1: you the sentensizes you to the real thing. Have you
Speaker 1: ever taken a break from porn? Yeah? Yeah, Almost every
Speaker 1: guy in their late twenties early thirties that I know
Speaker 1: has at one point been like I took a break
Speaker 1: from porn. And that's so interesting yeah to me, because
Speaker 1: it's if do you know you need to take a
Speaker 1: poak from porn? Uh? When you're looking at anal prolapsing.
Speaker 1: You can't get it up when there's an actual naked
Speaker 1: girl next to you. Wow, that's a pretty telltale sign. Why.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is a question that we probably won't
Speaker 1: be able to answer because it's more of a scientific,
Speaker 1: like study psychologist question. But why can't you get it up?
Speaker 1: Are in your head? Like? What do you thinking in
Speaker 1: your head? Are you like you want to like click
Speaker 1: next and find something else? And she's like, why do
Speaker 1: you just click on my post? Tony Brooklyn, You're like,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. But honestly, it's not really
Speaker 1: a thought process because a lot of it is emotional
Speaker 1: and chemical and you know what I mean. So I
Speaker 1: don't know. It just it doesn't do it for you
Speaker 1: for various reasons. I mean, have you ever been like
Speaker 1: sucking a real woman and just had to kind of
Speaker 1: like close your eyes and think of porn together? No,
Speaker 1: I've never left. Oh really that's interesting. I mean that
Speaker 1: is interesting. I've certainly done that. I don't think of me,
Speaker 1: but I've certainly like closed my eyes and thought of
Speaker 1: something better, something better, but or is different or whatever
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a human thing, like you're doing it
Speaker 1: all the time, maybe not sleep with that person, but right, Like,
Speaker 1: I mean there was a period of time, like in
Speaker 1: past relationships when I just would start thinking of someone
Speaker 1: else all the time, like someone I even I hadn't
Speaker 1: even had sex with, and I was just like, oh
Speaker 1: but this for some reason, isn't you in different? It
Speaker 1: gets me off? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. New things
Speaker 1: are always exciting, No they are, but just isn't that
Speaker 1: with everything though, not just sex. Anything that's new is
Speaker 1: usually somewhat either a little bit scary or exciting gets
Speaker 1: you going, Oh yeah, I guess. I mean it's depends.
Speaker 1: Like there's people that I have stayed sexually attracted to
Speaker 1: go forever. I mean I've never been with anyone forever.
Speaker 1: I don't know you still know them saying is that
Speaker 1: somebody that you're not in touch with that you I
Speaker 1: have people like access to who I would I think
Speaker 1: I will always be sexually attracted to. Do you have
Speaker 1: access that you they'll always be sexual attention? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: isn't that weird because you're like, I don't even even
Speaker 1: if you don't even like them, You're like, what the
Speaker 1: fun annoying? My track record which goes that i've actually dated.
Speaker 1: It's pretty They've all been like dancers and performers and
Speaker 1: some kind of physical athletes. So they're all fuking hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah that is your wife. She Yeah, she danced for
Speaker 1: a little bit. You know, she's really into biking now.
Speaker 1: She likes to do the the race of the marathons
Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah it's awesome. That's great. So what, like,
Speaker 1: why is it like being married, especially as a young man. Oh, fuck,
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's it's a trip. I didn't really
Speaker 1: know what to expect getting into this thing. It kind
Speaker 1: of happened a little unorthodox. I wasn't so much that
Speaker 1: I liked her. No, No, we were together because we
Speaker 1: were all we were on and off. We got back together,
Speaker 1: you know, two years ago, and she was about to
Speaker 1: get deported there is Yeah, so she she got into
Speaker 1: trouble with the immigrations and so I didn't want it
Speaker 1: to get deported. So we kind of were like, well,
Speaker 1: we were together, we're living together, and les get married. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we got married like city hall or something. Well,
Speaker 1: we had a whole We did go to city Hall,
Speaker 1: but we had we went to Brooklyn Bridge Park. We
Speaker 1: had a ceremony. We had a violinist a couple of
Speaker 1: friends small Tony, Brooklyn's violinist. That's amazing you would have
Speaker 1: a violinist in Brooklyn your wedding, So it was a
Speaker 1: real wedding. But it wasn't like I didn't like take
Speaker 1: her out and get down on a knee. I think
Speaker 1: we were like sitting on the cow's watching TV. You
Speaker 1: want get married, okay, alright, cool, yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: to leave. Would probably get married like that. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I mean that was nice. I will tell you this,
Speaker 1: I uh, you know, yeah, yeah, pro lapsing assholes, that's
Speaker 1: the way. I mean. I've heard people who just you know,
Speaker 1: like knock someone up and then get married because of that.
Speaker 1: Like it's like you were together and you like you
Speaker 1: did that. I've actually heard in New York that's so common.
Speaker 1: I know, like several people who got married to their
Speaker 1: boyfriend her girlfriend because just because they were going to
Speaker 1: get deported. A relative of mine got married because the
Speaker 1: woman was going to get deported and he liked her,
Speaker 1: but I don't know, they never were in a relationship,
Speaker 1: so like it's a little one sided. So at least
Speaker 1: you guys both felt for each other. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: got married into owning cats. That was kind of weird.
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting that I have two cats. Now, did
Speaker 1: you need to marry and be like, oh, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: surprised I have cats. Yeah, she knew she cats in
Speaker 1: the closet. Now, I knew she had cats, but I
Speaker 1: didn't think that far to where like, now I own cats. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I still don't know their names.
Speaker 1: You don't know that. I noticed gray one and a
Speaker 1: white one, and I know I know one of them
Speaker 1: is the other one's mother. So wait, you don't you
Speaker 1: have no idea with the name. You're a bad I'm not,
Speaker 1: You're a shitty absent cat. Know your fucking name? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know your cats? Like he's an elbowed people. He
Speaker 1: put people in hospital. People might be dead, but we're like,
Speaker 1: you don't know you're partment wrong with you? Yeah? No,
Speaker 1: I don't know. If I had to take a guess
Speaker 1: some someone with an m IF, I take like a
Speaker 1: like a Marcole mother Mary. I don't refuse to know it,
Speaker 1: but I don't care enough to like she get mad
Speaker 1: that you you don't know her cat's name. I don't
Speaker 1: think she knows im like, if they're hungry, hear what
Speaker 1: they do, so they ship in my bathtub if I don't, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you don't know their fucking names. You think that's why. Probably? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, like, do you have a space where they
Speaker 1: can poop? Yes, they have all you want the basement,
Speaker 1: that's where is so they prefer the bathtub. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is. Okay, do you have a weird life? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So what is it like though? To have a month
Speaker 1: a month and a half long fight. That's a tense
Speaker 1: that's a war zone. It's it's I've been there. I've
Speaker 1: been there. Talk you don't each other on that's kind
Speaker 1: of nice. I don't. I don't because well, like I
Speaker 1: feel like with couples, it's it's a weird skill that
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I needed. But you need to
Speaker 1: learn to fight well with each other. She does not
Speaker 1: know how to do that. I didn't know either, Stephen had.
Speaker 1: She still doesn't. I'm great at fighting, professional fighter. That's
Speaker 1: the best thing I've bring to relationships. I'm very easy
Speaker 1: to professional fighter. I'm very easy. If we can't come
Speaker 1: to a conclosion, I'll just drop it. I'll just dude,
Speaker 1: I always overhear do guys like they just drop it?
Speaker 1: They just and I guess, I guess I get it.
Speaker 1: But when you overhear that, when you witness like a
Speaker 1: guy friend or a guy relative and the woman is
Speaker 1: just pissing him off so much, and he's like, you
Speaker 1: know what whatever, I'm like, Oh, now is it bad?
Speaker 1: It's outlasting somewhat man right? Well think yeah, but is it?
Speaker 1: Do you feel emotionally um like jipped, meaning that you
Speaker 1: always have to not care anymore because she won't let
Speaker 1: to go. Well, the thing that happens with marriage is
Speaker 1: because you're so strong you're in love, and that part
Speaker 1: of it is very strong. When you guys fight, it's
Speaker 1: even stronger still, you know what I mean? So like,
Speaker 1: I've never i've never I've never cursed out a woman
Speaker 1: until I was married. I've never called a girl a
Speaker 1: bit in my entire life until I got married and
Speaker 1: we had a fight and I was like, I just know.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh this is great. I can't sitting
Speaker 1: out there. I didn't know how to explain my frustration
Speaker 1: other than to cars. Usually I'm fairly good at like community.
Speaker 1: She just got you so angry that you had I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, and you do things to piss her
Speaker 1: off as much as she pisses you off. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just I don't try me to. Probably, I don't
Speaker 1: try it. I don't do it on purpose. Does she
Speaker 1: do it on purpose? She may not be sometimes she does. Well,
Speaker 1: when you're married, you just get to know each other's buttons,
Speaker 1: and then sometimes you just push You're like God, because
Speaker 1: I'm speaking from experience, Well, yeah, of course, I mean
Speaker 1: sometimes I've certainly done things because I was like this
Speaker 1: so bad. See I've never done that. That's good, I have, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's not when I usually do that to people.
Speaker 1: I don't respect that. Like, if I want to make
Speaker 1: somebody about of purpose, it's because I'm piste off at them.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. When you're when you're with buddy
Speaker 1: all the time, and especially you're saying your righte visit
Speaker 1: is currently doesn't have a job right now, and she's
Speaker 1: always there and you're always with each other, it's like
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, when you say a word so
Speaker 1: many times, it starts to not sound like a word anymore.
Speaker 1: It's like they're not even they are a person, but
Speaker 1: they're like this other thing. Like, I don't know, it's weird.
Speaker 1: When you spend so much time with one person, it
Speaker 1: kind of makes you a little insane. Evening they're great.
Speaker 1: The one thing that was kind of insane right that
Speaker 1: happened after marriage with sex is uh. I felt it
Speaker 1: was weird because now she's my family. I'm like, fucking
Speaker 1: my family. There was It didn't last for like two days.
Speaker 1: I kind of felt a little grossed out. Was that
Speaker 1: a high thought? Were you? No? No, I don't know what.
Speaker 1: I don't know how it came to me, but I
Speaker 1: was looking at my wife and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's such a wonderful lady. I'm so glad to be
Speaker 1: married to her. And then I was like like like
Speaker 1: now I don't like now I have to fuck this
Speaker 1: wonderful person that's my family. Is disgusting. It's so interesting
Speaker 1: of his blossoming from romance to friends. Yeah, I get what.
Speaker 1: I get what you mean. Though it was a very
Speaker 1: weird thought. I kind of understand that. I do understand.
Speaker 1: I get it. I get it. I got it. So
Speaker 1: it's fine, so let's move on it. Well, do you
Speaker 1: have any plans on how to resolve this fight? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What are you gonna do I don't have fire flowers?
Speaker 1: Or she's sucking up? Are you sucking up? Who's sucking up? Well,
Speaker 1: because she's home all the time and I'm not. I'm
Speaker 1: still you know, I'm still working. I'm still doing a
Speaker 1: comedy things. So she's kind of lonely. I guess it
Speaker 1: is really the issue. Does she have a vibrator? That's
Speaker 1: a problem number one? Just kidding. Maybe she doesn't want one,
Speaker 1: but she should get one and try it. Are you
Speaker 1: sure she doesn't have one? I'm pretty sure I had
Speaker 1: draws that she has one. Yeah. I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't even really use vibrators at all, but I have
Speaker 1: like a bunch, Yeah you do, I mean comically large. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, because of because of this podcast, but
Speaker 1: I have well, yeah we got we got Johnson Baby,
Speaker 1: we gotta huge box. And I just opened it and
Speaker 1: left it in my room and I was away so
Speaker 1: my roommate could see it. Because I just I was like, well,
Speaker 1: if we're gonna waste all these vibrators, at least someone
Speaker 1: can get a good laugh out of it. But yeah,
Speaker 1: she probably has display case. Oh do you have sex toys?
Speaker 1: H us? A flashlight? I think she has a couple
Speaker 1: of outfits around with a wily purchased one. No flashlight. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have a what did you flashlightlight? Do you
Speaker 1: know what a flashlight is? Yeah, it's it's a pocket pussy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah it I never used one of those. Okay, have
Speaker 1: you ever been with a prostitute? I've never been. I never.
Speaker 1: I hate strip clubs makes me very uncomfortable. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I understand that the girls are working, that they're not,
Speaker 1: you know, being forced to do anything. I feel bad. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean that's not every in every case I wote have.
Speaker 1: I'm sure there are many strip clubs out there where
Speaker 1: the woman feels coerced to work there or is being
Speaker 1: I hope not. I really smaller percentage, but but I
Speaker 1: just feel bit like I've been to strip clubs on
Speaker 1: like people's birthdays and stuff, and I'm just I'm just like,
Speaker 1: just take the money, just go back to school. I'm
Speaker 1: just like, But that's why I'm sure everyone a lot
Speaker 1: of them. I feel that I felt cold. I never
Speaker 1: got a lapt in, so I don't go to the
Speaker 1: private champagne room. I just sit around drink beer. It's
Speaker 1: it's got the shirt for it. Yeah, I'm sure. How
Speaker 1: what is your relationship with alcohol? Like? I use it
Speaker 1: as a substitute for every other medication. Oh so it's
Speaker 1: like it's just getting like you're testing or yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean like anxiety, whatever kind of you have anxiety? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been stabbed five times? Did you not? What? All right?
Speaker 1: Well nope, you buried the headline. Stabbed me four times?
Speaker 1: Shame on me? Ye, five different separate occasions. Wow, we
Speaker 1: only got to you one stab each occasion, one in
Speaker 1: and out. Yeah, and he goes out. Well, I think
Speaker 1: I made my point. I will be exiting now. Good
Speaker 1: day to you. What were the reasons for all these stabbings?
Speaker 1: They varied? And stabbing number one go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I don't think stabbing number one was completely completely my fault.
Speaker 1: I went I went to ask for a cigarette of
Speaker 1: a guy and he made a comical He was like, no,
Speaker 1: go buy your own pack. And then I went home,
Speaker 1: got drunk and went to find them. Oh that's stupid, okay.
Speaker 1: Number number two two? Number two was you got called
Speaker 1: for beef. A friend of mine called. He had some
Speaker 1: problems with some people. I went with him and I
Speaker 1: got stabbed. Yeah, stabbing number three. Somebody was trying to
Speaker 1: take my cell phone and I wouldn't give it to
Speaker 1: them and it caught my face, so it wasn't the
Speaker 1: stab was slash. But okay, we'll count it. Now, that's
Speaker 1: a stab. It's a stab. Well it's a little slash.
Speaker 1: Is just a stab that lasts a little longer. Stabbing
Speaker 1: number four, Uh, there was also in a fight. We
Speaker 1: see the scar for that way, okay, just to fight
Speaker 1: backing up a boy or like no, no no. And
Speaker 1: I went through a period where I was getting into
Speaker 1: bar fights from my own personal joy okay, oh you're joy.
Speaker 1: And then stabbing Humber five was in like I was
Speaker 1: putting somebody in a chokehold with might like to life, okay,
Speaker 1: just and that was part of just your fighting days.
Speaker 1: Are your fighting days over? Probably not? Yeah, the last
Speaker 1: time you got night ut fight it was I was
Speaker 1: probably a year ago. It was. He's like, I can't
Speaker 1: even remember. It was like two thousand fifteen, but it
Speaker 1: it comes and I'm really out of shape now. So
Speaker 1: I think if I was to fight somebody, I just
Speaker 1: lose horribly. If anyone's listening, I hate Tony Brooklyn. Now
Speaker 1: that's the time to beat him up out of the window.
Speaker 1: But wait, so you seem so calm. I know, I'm like,
Speaker 1: do you have a temper? I mean, if you're fighting
Speaker 1: all the time, maybe, but you don't see it's actually
Speaker 1: it's a lot better to keep your calm when you're fighting.
Speaker 1: It's not good to have it time. So it's a
Speaker 1: lot scarier. Well when a calm person is beating you up,
Speaker 1: wait a second, that I'm gonna die. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: lot like chess. You gotta sort of think of what
Speaker 1: you're gonna do before you all right, now I'm scared.
Speaker 1: Strategic strategic, like if I'm going to go for the chokehold,
Speaker 1: but then when if he tries to run? Also, also
Speaker 1: like how serious is it a bar fight? Is this
Speaker 1: guy really going to try to kill you? You know how?
Speaker 1: You gotta figure that out, go with your gut. Well,
Speaker 1: have you ever been in a position where you actually
Speaker 1: thought someone was trying to kill you? Yeah? A couple
Speaker 1: of times. So I had a gun pold on me.
Speaker 1: Why uh, some guy I was just being a asshole.
Speaker 1: It was it was a day before my birthday a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago. I was going into the grocery
Speaker 1: So I was like three in the morning to get
Speaker 1: a sandwich. He was coming out. He was coming out,
Speaker 1: and he was like, what the funk you're looking at
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm looking at you coming out
Speaker 1: of the grocery show, like you're not invisible, you know,
Speaker 1: I could see you right. Yeah? He goes, yeah, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: He takes out a gun. He points it in my
Speaker 1: hand and I broke as risk and I pointed it
Speaker 1: at his knee cap and I started pulling a trigger
Speaker 1: and I click click click an empty, one empty, and
Speaker 1: I'm just looking at him like you kidding me? And
Speaker 1: then I can put them in the phase and he
Speaker 1: left that I got, and then I got my sandwich,
Speaker 1: and then two cop cars was gonna say did you
Speaker 1: get your sandwich? That seemed like very unnecessary. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: was real. I feel like if someone ever tried to
Speaker 1: like do that or rob me or anything, I would
Speaker 1: get so pissed that just over the fact that it
Speaker 1: was happening, Like, are you fucking kidding me? That I
Speaker 1: might beat them up? Maybe maybe I could, Yeah, maybe,
Speaker 1: I don't know my own strang is that like that
Speaker 1: retarded strength? Yeah, that's like the second time this is
Speaker 1: two episodes in a row where I guess has used
Speaker 1: that phrase. I think that's a real thing. I think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but well, I mean I think it's
Speaker 1: like I think the flight or flight more so is
Speaker 1: the I mean when secharded, I mean more like sometimes
Speaker 1: autistic people have like superhuman strength. Yeah, you know, so
Speaker 1: just for that the PC. Yeah what My brother's expoke
Speaker 1: friends used to work without his kids, and she would
Speaker 1: come sometimes come home with bruises because they were very strong. No,
Speaker 1: it's no joke, but not. I mean, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know nothing about that world, so I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: gon shut up now, Um, what's the worst sex you've
Speaker 1: ever had? The worst sex I've ever to be honestitude
Speaker 1: of the worst sex I've ever had was that year
Speaker 1: with the school teacher. Because I don't know why I
Speaker 1: didn't enjoy this. I did it for the perks she like,
Speaker 1: she would cook food, but I didn't. I didn't have
Speaker 1: to oxygen, I didn't have to eat the mess whole food,
Speaker 1: so I'd get like steak. And did you ever felt
Speaker 1: taken advantage of No, I was taking advantage of her,
Speaker 1: for sure, you were taking advantage of her? Was this
Speaker 1: the older woman, six year old. Okay, So she would
Speaker 1: cook for you and she would cook. So she was
Speaker 1: the tennis coach and the swim team coach and the
Speaker 1: science teacher. Okay. So in military school, every everything is
Speaker 1: um schedule ver, so you only get about an hour
Speaker 1: off for free time unless you have tours, in which
Speaker 1: case you have to like that. That's like the punishment tours.
Speaker 1: You have to either march or stain still or waste
Speaker 1: waste an hour. I am marching. Yeah, I would do that,
Speaker 1: but so but so, and then you have two hours
Speaker 1: of sports. So what I would do is I would
Speaker 1: sign up for swimming and tennis and just not fucking
Speaker 1: go and spend the time doing whatever I want to
Speaker 1: do and still get the credit. Like I was there
Speaker 1: because she was the coach. How many times did she
Speaker 1: have you did you guys bang? I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't count them, Like every day was consistent? Where did
Speaker 1: you bang? In the class? And her? So the teachers
Speaker 1: lived on campus, and like, I mean, how do you
Speaker 1: how do you make this discreet? Did you like wear
Speaker 1: the sky? Like I said before, it was like one
Speaker 1: of those things where almost everybody knew. But what I
Speaker 1: would have to do is I have to sneak out
Speaker 1: and then I'd have to sneak back in. I have
Speaker 1: to sneak out of the barracks going to her things.
Speaker 1: Do you believe you got because military strict mother. There
Speaker 1: was one time I missed formation. So the information is
Speaker 1: already happening outside in the morning and I'm running out
Speaker 1: of her, out of her whatever building. And her brother,
Speaker 1: because her brother was attack officer, he was looking after
Speaker 1: the kids dead to He was coming up in his
Speaker 1: truck and he was like, what are you doing? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I panic. I told him I was.
Speaker 1: I was exercising. I was like, oh, I just went
Speaker 1: for a dog. Yeah, I went for an early jog
Speaker 1: and I don't know what time. And he was like,
Speaker 1: he was like, information is going on going? And I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'm going on And you had to
Speaker 1: get information information? Yeah you like that song like Beyonce?
Speaker 1: I didn't think so. But the sex was time, But
Speaker 1: the perks were amazing. What was terrible about I don't
Speaker 1: know everything? Did she just sit there? It wasn't very exciting.
Speaker 1: It was mostly missionary, uh she I mean, and you
Speaker 1: weren't at a place where you were like all right,
Speaker 1: this is cool, but like and we make some shapes. Yeah, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I was just happy to begin in the way with
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of ship and that you're not supposed
Speaker 1: to be. Yeah, I didn't want to rock the boat,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Okay, But has one of
Speaker 1: your women that you've been with that our dancers or
Speaker 1: trapeze artists ever done like a wild move in bed
Speaker 1: where you're like, fuck, that's cool, I imagine God like
Speaker 1: just good maneuvers, like like some times girls of like
Speaker 1: you know, when you're you're your back is facing the
Speaker 1: guy when you're on top of them, like you can't
Speaker 1: turn around on when the penis is still inside. You
Speaker 1: just can't, can you turn around? But yeah, I've had her,
Speaker 1: I've had the top spinky. I'm sure I couldn't do it,
Speaker 1: but I don't have to do it. She have and
Speaker 1: it was off she was. She was also contortionist, so
Speaker 1: she's very very flexible. She could that when she was
Speaker 1: like a pretzel. She had her legs all right behind her, Yeah,
Speaker 1: pretzel when she spinned around on your dick. Uh no,
Speaker 1: she was just doing a split. Wow, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: It's visually cool. It's actually because the bill kind of
Speaker 1: feels the same though pussy pussy is a pussy something
Speaker 1: like that. Also, she was one of those girls that
Speaker 1: she can't come vaginally. She could only come. A lot
Speaker 1: of girls are like that, which was not which requires
Speaker 1: a lot of effort on my part. Oh you pointing
Speaker 1: you had to work well, but it depends. I mean,
Speaker 1: like even if you can't come vaginally, like if it
Speaker 1: depending where the clip is situated, you can still. It
Speaker 1: was very It was very rare that she would come
Speaker 1: when I would have to like eat her out. Yeah, huh,
Speaker 1: did you do you not like eating around? I don't
Speaker 1: mind it, not not every time for you to calm
Speaker 1: I have to do it. Then loses it loses its hotness.
Speaker 1: If I had to blow me treat my boyfriend every
Speaker 1: time and make him come, oh my god, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: well I gotta go. Yeah, and look at it, it's
Speaker 1: not working out. What by oh my god? This is there?
Speaker 1: Any of the final thoughts you would like to end on.
Speaker 1: It has been such a feminism Are you a feministist?
Speaker 1: What the married? It's very hard to be a feminist
Speaker 1: and be married. Why please let us know why there's
Speaker 1: a woman making my life hell right now, that's why,
Speaker 1: Well no, why can't you? But you don't think she
Speaker 1: deserves like equal I am full feminism is just equality.
Speaker 1: It's not like it's not like you like women when
Speaker 1: they're assholes. That's not women can be assholes. That's feminism.
Speaker 1: Actually women can be horrible pieces of ship. So can men.
Speaker 1: And that's okay. I am for the equality part of
Speaker 1: it where you're feminist, you guys, well that's what the
Speaker 1: do you think feminism? There's there's a level of equality,
Speaker 1: and then some people think it should be the same,
Speaker 1: which you can because it's opposite sex, so you can't
Speaker 1: be the same. Well, what is an instance where you
Speaker 1: I've had it's this is classic, but it's actually happened
Speaker 1: to me when I was opening the door forging and
Speaker 1: she was like, I opened my own door. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say to that, because a
Speaker 1: lot of people have said, I mean, I don't that's
Speaker 1: un necessary like that for her to say that. I think, like,
Speaker 1: but this was like her feminist move that she was
Speaker 1: it her feminist move or was she just because here's
Speaker 1: the thing she might have and I don't know this
Speaker 1: but I'm guessing. But just if she's walking around with
Speaker 1: a girl's body, I feel like this is possible. Have
Speaker 1: people open men opening the doors and then complimenting or
Speaker 1: trying to handle her, and that's the way that sometimes
Speaker 1: opened doors. And then look at you and you're like,
Speaker 1: she was a fat lesbian? How do you know she
Speaker 1: was a lesbian? How did you know she was fat?
Speaker 1: You know, a fat lesbian when she fat? She had
Speaker 1: a fitted hat was fat? Well, I mean, it's just
Speaker 1: what she was. It doesn't add You're just saying like
Speaker 1: she she and you knew that it wasn't because you
Speaker 1: were hitting on her. See that that. I don't understand that.
Speaker 1: I don't definitely have a problem with, like if you
Speaker 1: should remember be rude to someone who's doing a common curse,
Speaker 1: Like well, it's weird because sometimes like come of courtesy
Speaker 1: like men will oh Man. Yesterday it happened. I was
Speaker 1: in a bad mood. I was just really stressed out
Speaker 1: and they had to go. I was walking to the
Speaker 1: gym and some guy fucking said something shitty. He's like,
Speaker 1: oh you from do you live in this neighbor or something.
Speaker 1: I'm like, shut the fuck up. I was like no
Speaker 1: one better try and talk to me, because I hate
Speaker 1: when that happens and it's a they're doing it to
Speaker 1: try and floor with me. I know I can tell
Speaker 1: right away when it's a trying to flirt or like
Speaker 1: they're genuinely asking a question. And I was a huge
Speaker 1: cunt to him because I just I knew what was
Speaker 1: going to happen, and it's annoying and I don't just
Speaker 1: because I'm in physically in like next to you waiting
Speaker 1: to cross the street, does not mean I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you. But I feel like when that happens
Speaker 1: and I go off when I'm in a bad mood.
Speaker 1: It's not often, but then the guy's like, WHOA, women
Speaker 1: are fucking of tight, But there's some there's like a reason, well,
Speaker 1: I haven't hit on a girl in two years because
Speaker 1: I'm married, so I don't know and I've actually I
Speaker 1: don't feel like you're the kind of guy like you
Speaker 1: wouldn't cat call and you wouldn't like be a dick,
Speaker 1: But unfortunately you might have to pay for the guys
Speaker 1: in the past you have. That's why I get into
Speaker 1: which is frustrating. I'm doing it for you, guys, I'm
Speaker 1: fighting guys in your honor. You don't need to fight
Speaker 1: anyone in my honor. Yeah, me specifically, you know, just
Speaker 1: maybe one last person. We'll have to go to the hospital. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can find my honest. Yeah. Well, I think someone
Speaker 1: asked that we're on a podcast the other day. This
Speaker 1: has actually come up a lot about feminism, with guys
Speaker 1: and girls saying like, I'm not a feminist. I'm like,
Speaker 1: con we just all agree that it means equality. How
Speaker 1: about that we don't, I know, And that's the problem.
Speaker 1: Meaning has transformed, it has it has transformed. But I
Speaker 1: think it's it's all vostibility as feminists to be like
Speaker 1: this is really what we mean. And I think there
Speaker 1: is like a lot of bullshit extras that feminists have
Speaker 1: been tagging on and I'm like, no, that's not really
Speaker 1: part of it. Yeah, I don't know. We're just like,
Speaker 1: you don't need to concentrate on man spreading right now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I don't care. Man spreading is bullshit. That's if
Speaker 1: you have a problem with it. I have every time
Speaker 1: a guy is like spread his legs really wide on
Speaker 1: the subway and I wanted to sit, excuse me, and
Speaker 1: then they move Yeah, and that's exactly how the interaction
Speaker 1: should go. I don't think bread my legs and take
Speaker 1: up two seats just to stick it to the girl
Speaker 1: who didn't fuck me in the in the high school,
Speaker 1: like not a process. I wish men thought that deeply, Like,
Speaker 1: I know that'd be nice. Maybe can have a more
Speaker 1: intellectual relationship. Everyone's not like so vindictive. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it's more offensive when they sit in the middle of
Speaker 1: the three seats instead of oh yeah, that's rude, or
Speaker 1: when they have their bag. But I always I'm excuse me,
Speaker 1: And then if they don't move it, I move it
Speaker 1: for him, like a bag or something, because like if
Speaker 1: you're gonna be a dick, then I'll be all right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put your bag on the ground and start
Speaker 1: to sit right on it. Yeah, or I just sit
Speaker 1: on the lab. Actually, is this seat taken a good
Speaker 1: pickup line for like a crazy chick? No? I think
Speaker 1: I I think I made that joke to like a
Speaker 1: celebrity one time. I don't know. I feel like I
Speaker 1: did that. Is the seat taker tanks? No, it was
Speaker 1: like an Adrian Grenier type or something like that. I
Speaker 1: think I did that. I don't know. I flirted so
Speaker 1: weirdly with very like famous e ish like good looking dudes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just say the dumbest shit, like I can't talk
Speaker 1: as a regular so hot. I feel like it's like,
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Just make a joke. I
Speaker 1: think it's funny alright. Anyway, closing closing thoughts, Well, you
Speaker 1: can find me this Friday. I'm gonna be a Danger
Speaker 1: Films ten that sometime. Yeah, and in October seventh, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be at Bongo's then on seventh that perfect, And
Speaker 1: what's your information for how people can find on social media?
Speaker 1: Facebook Tony Brooklyn and then YouTube is Tony Brooklyn and Twitter.
Speaker 1: I don't use Twitter. Twitter's game perfect. Nice, it's a
Speaker 1: perfect love it. Well, thank you so much showing guys. Yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1: This as Sarching Me Podcast. We'll talk to you next Friday.
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