Speaker 1: You've done it. You were getting me fulled Brooke and
Speaker 1: Jeffrey experience right now with our podcast. I mean, I
Speaker 1: know you want more, Okay, I'm just telling you TikTok
Speaker 1: YouTube all the socials at Brook and Jeffrey, and let's
Speaker 1: start the show right now.
Speaker 2: You guys know how we always joke about Jose's short
Speaker 2: attention span. Yes, and we'll be like, oh, look something
Speaker 2: shiny over there, Jose. Ooh a new Fall restaurant. Look Jose.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of true though.
Speaker 2: I'm very add and it works. But yeah, I finally
Speaker 2: found a better way to get his attention. And the
Speaker 2: best part, it only takes two words. We're late.
Speaker 3: How in the eighthd it did happen to me?
Speaker 1: But he's always late. Jeffrey doesn't bother him. I know
Speaker 1: you tell me I'm late.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm late late.
Speaker 5: We gotta do.
Speaker 2: WCII Which clip is it? Oh, viral sound by It's
Speaker 2: only enough time to play one before Jose gets distracted again,
Speaker 2: so let's get right to your choices. Option one is
Speaker 2: a forty second clip that the listeners have been begging
Speaker 2: to hear, but my cold hearted co hosts have stubbornly
Speaker 2: refused to listen to this bold real estate agent who
Speaker 2: decided to get creative and musical when trying to sell
Speaker 2: a funky house. Or we go in with option two,
Speaker 2: an eighteen second clip of a four year old girl
Speaker 2: who's pretending to be a waitress for her mom and
Speaker 2: gives her the worst customer service ever. Show what's it
Speaker 2: gonna be? Dream house Mike check or waffle house reject?
Speaker 1: Waffle house reject? Yes, sit down, real estate agent, Let's
Speaker 1: give me some waffle house.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hopefully the little girl doesn't say anything offensive. Let's
Speaker 2: hear this tiny girl pretending to be a waitress for
Speaker 2: her mom and giving the worst customer service ever?
Speaker 1: What FRIESI?
Speaker 6: Hi?
Speaker 1: You don't have fries?
Speaker 7: Can I have a co You have a cooke?
Speaker 8: What do you have?
Speaker 4: High?
Speaker 1: You can't see your managers?
Speaker 2: We have on our hands?
Speaker 8: That was.
Speaker 2: Which clam?
Speaker 5: Is it? Now?
Speaker 2: Let's move on and get into your shack collar Question
Speaker 2: of the day Digital Jake, Who we order some trivia today?
Speaker 2: Or is the kitchen all out of that? We don't
Speaker 2: have trivia? What doing today?
Speaker 4: Is National Beach Party Day?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 4: And originally the plan was to take the entire morning
Speaker 4: show to a local beach for a live broadcast that
Speaker 4: but Corporate shutdown that idea on account of our technical director,
Speaker 4: Ashton Pale. They said his skin is so pale that
Speaker 4: the sun reflecting off his shirtless porcelain body could pose
Speaker 4: a hazard for low flying air traffic.
Speaker 2: They don't want to be human jelly.
Speaker 1: Like someone's standing out there with a mirror.
Speaker 4: Nevertheless, we can still have some beach like entertainment here
Speaker 4: in the studio with a special one and done fun
Speaker 4: in the sun. Put some SPF on your bff and
Speaker 4: don't forget their buns.
Speaker 2: Question of the.
Speaker 4: Day dealer's choice, alexis your turn. Until the year nineteen
Speaker 4: thirty seven, it was illegal for men to do what
Speaker 4: on North American beaches A proposed to their sweetheart, which
Speaker 4: was considered disrespectful. The sailors lost or marooned at sea
Speaker 4: b shoot guns at fish in the water.
Speaker 5: Or c.
Speaker 2: It was illegal for men to go topless.
Speaker 1: I can see that shoot fish. That can't be legal now,
Speaker 1: I don't know that fish.
Speaker 2: In your like take a shotgun into the waves. Shotgun,
Speaker 2: it's not even like a pistol.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe they couldn't go like shuirts. They're
Speaker 1: super prude or something, Jake, I don't even.
Speaker 2: Know what the answer would be here.
Speaker 4: So Alexis is saying it was legal for men to
Speaker 4: go topless. That is, well, guys.
Speaker 1: Could take their shirts off now bananas. I see.
Speaker 4: Before nineteen thirty seven, it used to be taboo to
Speaker 4: expose too much skin for both men and women, so
Speaker 4: everyone was required to wear a swimming onesie.
Speaker 1: What's the point of going to the beach then, yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, fairly close to yell at the sea for taking your.
Speaker 2: Husband, Jose.
Speaker 4: According to the Journal of Water and Health, when taking
Speaker 4: a day trip to the beach, sixty percent of people
Speaker 4: will enter the water at some point? Is the real
Speaker 4: number higher or lower than sixty percent people who go
Speaker 4: in the water.
Speaker 2: So here's the thing.
Speaker 9: I can't swim, but when I do go to the beach,
Speaker 9: if I'm in like Hawaii, I still like to get
Speaker 9: in the water up to like my waist.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 1: We went camping and it was hot and you put
Speaker 1: literally you would only to your ankle.
Speaker 2: Did relieve himself in that lake?
Speaker 9: Ye later, But even though ankles, you're proving my point.
Speaker 9: I still got my feet in so I'm gonna say
Speaker 9: it's higher.
Speaker 4: Jose said higher, and that is yeah, seventy three percent
Speaker 4: of people will get in the water when they go to.
Speaker 1: The Again, it's like I got to touch the water
Speaker 1: that run from the hot sand to the water.
Speaker 4: Oh god, we are two for two, Jeffrey. San Miguel
Speaker 4: Island is a small remote island off the coast of
Speaker 4: southern California, and you actually to sign a waiver before
Speaker 4: going on the beach there because it's so treacherous. But
Speaker 4: what is so dangerous about it is it a It's
Speaker 4: famous for having random sinkholes open underneath you anywhere you step.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: B The US Navy used it as a bombing range
Speaker 4: and left unexploded land mines everywhere or c there's a
Speaker 4: chance you'll run into Amelia Earharts skeleton and it will literally.
Speaker 2: Scare you to Death's.
Speaker 1: Scary that US government, you know, it's got to be
Speaker 1: be just terrible at picking up after themselves.
Speaker 2: I could see Amelia Earharts skeleton a whole like circle
Speaker 2: of skeletons around it for people who die to fear.
Speaker 2: Although just piling up out there in the way, but
Speaker 2: a little bit too much I think I'll go with
Speaker 2: the it's an old navy bombing ground.
Speaker 4: Jeffrey went with land mines, and that is correct, tons
Speaker 4: of land mines everywhere.
Speaker 2: Break break, all right, broke, you get this right? I
Speaker 2: will be shocked to begin.
Speaker 1: So much pressure.
Speaker 4: White sand beaches are some of the most revered coastlines
Speaker 4: in the world. But do you know how they're really made?
Speaker 4: Are they made of millions of tons of fish poop,
Speaker 4: thousands of years of sun exposure bleaching the sand white,
Speaker 4: or seashells ground up into fine dust.
Speaker 1: I feel like fish poop isn't gonna be white, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like it's like a weird red, stringy color.
Speaker 9: According well from what I see in Goldfish.
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean the sun bleach thing. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: why wouldn't all of the beaches then be white if
Speaker 1: that was the case? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 8: Like?
Speaker 1: Why are some black? Why are some red? I have
Speaker 1: to go with my gut on this, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say it's the seashells.
Speaker 3: You're gonna get the sea shore went with seashells.
Speaker 5: That is.
Speaker 8: The answer.
Speaker 2: Is fish poop.
Speaker 4: The white sand beaches happen as a result of parrotfish
Speaker 4: who have prolific appetites, so they munch on dead coral,
Speaker 4: but their bodies can't metabolize it, so it passes through
Speaker 4: them and they poop out kilos and kilos of white sand.
Speaker 2: Woa, it almost got all four right, but Brook missed
Speaker 2: her and somebody wanted to hear lose yourself by eminem.
Speaker 1: His palms are sweaty these week arms are heavy. There's
Speaker 1: Bob Sweater already bomb spaghetti. He's nervous, but on the
Speaker 1: surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs. Buddy
Speaker 1: keeps on Forghetty.
Speaker 2: That's your shot, color shot color question the day.
Speaker 8: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: A couple of big Taylor Swift fans are out lots
Speaker 2: of loot today.
Speaker 1: Why what happened? They get scammed?
Speaker 2: Because there's a guy named Bear Silver and months ago
Speaker 2: he snagged a pair of tickets for him and his
Speaker 2: wife to see Taylor performing Santa Clara last week.
Speaker 1: Amazing, at least that's.
Speaker 2: What he thought. Oh no, he paid five hundred dollars
Speaker 2: total for the.
Speaker 1: Tickets, good deal.
Speaker 2: Spent sixty bucks on parking, and they walked up, arrived
Speaker 2: to the stadium got to the gates, his wife was
Speaker 2: super excited. Once they were through the security checkpoint, they
Speaker 2: presented their tickets and to their shock, the employee told them, uh,
Speaker 2: your tickets were for last night, not tonight, and they
Speaker 2: were turned away from the venue. Oh could you imagine
Speaker 2: this is.
Speaker 1: How my husband would plan it? I'm serious anything. I mean,
Speaker 1: I love you, honey, but your ability to plan anything
Speaker 1: is terrible.
Speaker 2: Looking at the tickets every day.
Speaker 1: I know the d Yeah, it's just some people aren't
Speaker 1: good with details.
Speaker 2: As for who screwed up, uh huh, well, let's just
Speaker 2: say Bear slept on the couch that night and the
Speaker 2: night after. But there is a happy ending to this story.
Speaker 2: It is because he decided to cough up even more
Speaker 2: money to buy two more tickets.
Speaker 1: From like a scalper outside.
Speaker 2: Which set him back two thousand, six hundred dollars to
Speaker 2: see one of the concerts in Los Angeles. Okay, so yeah,
Speaker 2: he lives in Oakland. That means the flight to La
Speaker 2: cost an extra six hundred bucks and since Bear was
Speaker 2: working the night of the concert, he couldn't even go.
Speaker 1: I bet the wife is actually happy about that, and
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, yeah, if.
Speaker 2: He was just his wife and her friends.
Speaker 1: That's what he wanted. She actually diabolically.
Speaker 2: The two of them had an amazing time. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: if you missed it, my song of the week was
Speaker 2: an ode to Taylor Swift fans everywhere desperately trying to
Speaker 2: get in to see her era's tour. That video is
Speaker 2: up on our TikTok Instagram YouTube all of it at
Speaker 2: Brook and Jeffery. You can go check that out. We're
Speaker 2: gonna do Laser Stories next. It's the radio segment that's
Speaker 2: looking for funding for his new invention that combines and
Speaker 2: alarm clock with a tiny cage and when six am
Speaker 2: rolls around, there's no loud noise. It just releases spiders
Speaker 2: directly into your bag. You're awake now, Oh say you
Speaker 2: think that would actually work for you?
Speaker 1: Yes, he would just be big spoony that spider.
Speaker 2: If you want it, you should invest in Laser Stories,
Speaker 2: a segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,
Speaker 2: just like everyone else does, except we have a laser.
Speaker 2: Those other snoozer newsers just don't. Okay, I probably just
Speaker 2: moved to my couch. Yeah, okay, and we'll put it
Speaker 2: in there too. First laser stories out of Saint Louis.
Speaker 2: A paramedic called the cops the other night after he
Speaker 2: found that someone had broken into his car and stolen
Speaker 2: a bunch of his stuff.
Speaker 1: Hey, nobody got tim that's crazy.
Speaker 2: But then about fifteen minutes later, he got an emergency
Speaker 2: call about a guy who'd been hit by a car.
Speaker 2: So he got in his ambulance and rushed to the scene.
Speaker 2: When he got there, he noticed his gym bag was
Speaker 2: in the street next to the guy. Because, yeah, it
Speaker 2: turns out the guy who'd been hit by the car
Speaker 2: was the same dude who just robbed him.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Wow.
Speaker 2: And if you're wondering, the paramedic handled the whole situation
Speaker 2: like a pro. First, he treated the guy, made sure
Speaker 2: he wasn't in a life or death situation. Then he
Speaker 2: called the cops and told them that he found the burglar.
Speaker 2: I would say, then he beat him up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then he got his stuff back.
Speaker 2: The police haven't released any details yet on whether they
Speaker 2: arrested the guy, but they did say it was the
Speaker 2: most karma thing to happen to someone in their area
Speaker 2: for a very very long time. This next lazer stories
Speaker 2: out of all over North America.
Speaker 1: The small area.
Speaker 2: If you can believe it, school has already begun in
Speaker 2: some parts and teachers are already being terrorized by who may.
Speaker 1: You ask that quick?
Speaker 2: None other than the coin boys.
Speaker 8: Boys.
Speaker 2: It was a good question, you group.
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys and gals.
Speaker 2: Apparently it's the latest trend for middle school kids who
Speaker 2: carry a quarter in one hand at all times and
Speaker 2: constantly flip it.
Speaker 1: What are we back in the fifties, I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's what they do. The teens have their entire personality
Speaker 2: revolved around coins, coin flips, and chants. For example, in
Speaker 2: one Phoenix classroom, a teacher said when they got assigned
Speaker 2: the first homework of the school year, one of the
Speaker 2: coin boys was bold enough to stand up and say, heads,
Speaker 2: I do it, tails, I don't.
Speaker 1: Coin mafia two face from Batman exactly.
Speaker 2: The teacher told him if he flipped the coin, he
Speaker 2: would be getting a call home on the first week.
Speaker 2: Even fult he flipped it anywhere coin boys don't play
Speaker 2: by the rules, it did land on heads, so he
Speaker 2: would still.
Speaker 1: Have to do the homework, disappointing one.
Speaker 2: Of the other classmates. Coins landed on tails, and that
Speaker 2: had said the coin has spoken, okay, and he said
Speaker 2: he is not doing the assignment.
Speaker 6: Damn, Daniel, there's a middle spol I wonder if he's
Speaker 6: a coin boy.
Speaker 1: I gotta say the title of it is pretty cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: ive the coin Boys. I just wish that they kept it.
Speaker 1: You know. Maybe out of.
Speaker 2: School teachers are hoping the trend dies off soon, but
Speaker 2: if you spend any time on Twitter, it's not looking good.
Speaker 8: Oh man.
Speaker 2: There are tons of rallying support for the coin Boys,
Speaker 2: with thousands of memes on the topic.
Speaker 1: Alexis you better tell your mom to lock up that
Speaker 1: change jar next to the drier. Just don't give them access.
Speaker 2: This next lea, the story is out of Career Central.
Speaker 2: Another day, another strange job listing just to get attention.
Speaker 1: So bitter about these.
Speaker 2: We're dumb enough to keep covering these. This time the
Speaker 2: Coco Bodu Hithie resort in the Maldives in South Asia.
Speaker 1: Okay, now I'm listening.
Speaker 2: They're looking to hire a ken So what's the job
Speaker 2: beach just be j which is what Ryan Gosling says
Speaker 2: his job is in Barbie.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, God, I think that's amazing scene that I
Speaker 1: still got to see that movie.
Speaker 2: Whoever gets chosen is going to be flown out for
Speaker 2: ten days, along with quote a partner or allan of
Speaker 2: their choosing.
Speaker 1: Ken's best friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1: Kind of like Skipper to Barbie, but skippers are a
Speaker 1: little sister anyway.
Speaker 2: There are some requirements for the gig. The winning applicant
Speaker 2: will have to know how to stand proudly in the sand,
Speaker 2: anti his head of all thoughts, hold and lean on
Speaker 2: a surfboard actual surfing not required. No, that's awesome. Plus,
Speaker 2: the resort's requiring the winning Ken to know all the
Speaker 2: words by heart to push by Matchbox twenty.
Speaker 1: That he sings it in the in the movie or
Speaker 1: something right or yeah? Does he have to bleach his hair? Though,
Speaker 1: that's not a requirement.
Speaker 2: I was in here.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of different Kens, just like there's a
Speaker 1: lot of different Barbies. I want to know if he's
Speaker 1: allowed to bend any of his elbows?
Speaker 2: Yeah, say, full time able to. Apparently it's only for
Speaker 2: residents of the UK, though, which sucks because it does
Speaker 2: sound kind of awesome.
Speaker 1: You can't have a British can Yeah you can, you
Speaker 1: can ye with an accent.
Speaker 8: I don't think that.
Speaker 9: Yeah, okay, And then we talk about an English.
Speaker 2: Can that t this? Next laser stories out of relationship
Speaker 2: h Q. There's a new survey on when people hit
Speaker 2: different milestones in their relationships, and the first one is
Speaker 2: surprisingly or not surprisingly physical intimacy.
Speaker 1: Oh average surveys.
Speaker 2: On average, they say it happens after just five dates.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, five, that's forever. Should have more than five hours.
Speaker 1: Of jose, get down a little bit.
Speaker 2: Here's the other major moments in a new relationship. Talking
Speaker 2: about politics and religion for the first time after six weeks.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, then, so see you hit five dates, you
Speaker 1: do it, and then you get to the dark stone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you go to your girlfriends and you're like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, we talked about Congress last night. Everybody also
Speaker 2: use the terms boyfriend and girlfriend. That tens happened around
Speaker 2: eight weeks while bringing up your ex two months and
Speaker 2: three days into the.
Speaker 1: Relationship, not after you already a couple. It had to
Speaker 1: be people who are sober and dating. You know, this
Speaker 1: can't be for people who drink alcoholic.
Speaker 2: Wearing unattractive underwear three months and twenty four dates. O.
Speaker 1: Dude, you need to set the expectations low curiously, else
Speaker 1: we're going to have to keep that up the rest
Speaker 1: of the relationship.
Speaker 2: Own hot underwear. Yeah, so that's that's what you mean.
Speaker 2: You just set the bar and that's where it's happen.
Speaker 2: Just don't wear any underwear. Yeah, introduce them to your family.
Speaker 2: It happens around four months. Who is your daddy? And
Speaker 2: what does she do passing gas in front of them?
Speaker 1: That happens by accident.
Speaker 9: Yeah, you're right, it's always like in the middle.
Speaker 2: So let's call this purposely passing gas and being okay
Speaker 2: with it five months and twenty one days on average.
Speaker 1: I'm still not okay with it. I don't know. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't purposely do that in front of my husband ever.
Speaker 2: And finally considering getting engaged twenty three months. Wow. Again, Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's the average timeline for adults in our country. But
Speaker 2: I know some people like to move a lot faster,
Speaker 2: like Jose and this guy. This is the sound of
Speaker 2: a turtle meeting a k Swiss just two minutes in.
Speaker 2: Slow down and talk about politics for a seconde Why
Speaker 2: don't you That sound means Lazer Stories has come to
Speaker 2: an end for the day. We'll do it again the
Speaker 2: same time on Wednesday.
Speaker 8: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: Kind of an underrated skill that we all need to
Speaker 2: learn is how to politely say no to people.
Speaker 10: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I feel like there should be a whole class like no.
Speaker 2: One One Yeah, because sometimes it can be hard to
Speaker 2: tell somebody no right to their face.
Speaker 1: It's very healthy to do it.
Speaker 2: Like the other day when my grandma called and asked
Speaker 2: if I could run out to the pharmacy and pick
Speaker 2: up her medication because she was feeling faint. I paused
Speaker 2: for a second and I said, Grandma, it's thirsty Thursday.
Speaker 2: Are you freaking kidding? I gotta get my drink on.
Speaker 2: I'll do it next week if I'm not too hung old.
Speaker 1: Was She's still awake to respond to you.
Speaker 2: I don't know. That was hard for me. I do
Speaker 2: like doing that, and I don't want our listeners to
Speaker 2: have to go through anything like that themselves. That's why
Speaker 2: we came up with a special phone number that you
Speaker 2: can give out to people so you never have to
Speaker 2: say no to their face like I did.
Speaker 1: To my grandma.
Speaker 2: It's called the Loser Line.
Speaker 1: Please don't.
Speaker 2: We're gonna have a brand new batch of voicemails coming
Speaker 2: up at seven times.
Speaker 8: What's with you? Wait? A minute. Is this the right number?
Speaker 8: It's the loser line. Good by, just call me back.
Speaker 2: If you haven't heard the loser line before. It works
Speaker 2: like this. Let's say someone approaches you while you're out
Speaker 2: at the club and uses this charming pickup line on you.
Speaker 3: Excuse me, do you have a phone in your back
Speaker 3: pocket because that booty is calling me.
Speaker 2: Whatever you do, don't tell him that he's up late
Speaker 2: past his nine pm curfew. Instead, tell him his mommy
Speaker 2: issues match up perfectly with your daddy issues. That's when
Speaker 2: you get in the number to the loser line. So
Speaker 2: hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play
Speaker 2: on the air. Voicemails like this one.
Speaker 7: Hey Kelly, sorry, it's taken so long for me to
Speaker 7: reach out.
Speaker 5: I love to beat up again. Base.
Speaker 7: You could come here to my place, you know, but definitely,
Speaker 7: no matter what you do, do not park in my driveway.
Speaker 7: It's just my driveway is really close to my lawn.
Speaker 5: And no joke.
Speaker 7: I've spent most of the last seven months on my
Speaker 7: hands and me is trying to take care of it
Speaker 7: between aer ration and desatching, seating and watering. Like seriously,
Speaker 7: that grass is my baby. I need to and will
Speaker 7: protect it at all costs. So yeah, if you're going
Speaker 7: to come here, I just I'd say park up the
Speaker 7: block even and then walk down. It's not worth the
Speaker 7: might not be worth the risk it all. You know what,
Speaker 7: Let's maybe just plan to meet somewhere else.
Speaker 2: Just how your husband was broke when he was single?
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's now is that the kids aren't allowed
Speaker 1: to wear shoes on the grass? Yeah, I need to
Speaker 1: move into different spaces so that it's not in the
Speaker 1: same space.
Speaker 2: No guy, No guy that's single without kids though, was
Speaker 2: ever leaving a voicemail like that one?
Speaker 11: No?
Speaker 5: No, never?
Speaker 2: That is you've been married, you had kids, You've lost
Speaker 2: all of your like freedom and responsibilities. All you have
Speaker 2: left in this world is your front lawn.
Speaker 5: Next message, Charlie, what.
Speaker 12: The hell is going on? I don't understand why you're.
Speaker 5: Not telling me back.
Speaker 8: This is just this is this is.
Speaker 12: You're not a good guy.
Speaker 4: You're not a good guy.
Speaker 12: That's probably what it is. You're not a good guy.
Speaker 12: And I thought we had a good time, and you know,
Speaker 12: you're really cute, and you told me I was pretty,
Speaker 12: and you gave me a kiss. Why would you give
Speaker 12: me a kiss. If you're not gonna call me back,
Speaker 12: why would you do that? Can you give me an answer?
Speaker 11: God?
Speaker 12: I mean, I'm apparently I scare every man away.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 12: I went on a date with this guy who went
Speaker 12: to prison for five years for arson or whatever, maybe
Speaker 12: a murderer, and then I scared him away.
Speaker 5: That's the sane.
Speaker 12: How did I scare a murderer away?
Speaker 11: Am I the murderer?
Speaker 12: I'm not gonna the murder you, Charlie.
Speaker 1: God, of course you had a big realization.
Speaker 2: Is that in the top three tricks to get a
Speaker 2: guy to call you back? You promise them picks food
Speaker 2: and I swear I'm not going to murder you.
Speaker 1: God, I scared a murderer away.
Speaker 2: What really scares people away? Our TikTok page reason too funny.
Speaker 2: People complain that they're getting spontaneous ab workouts while watching
Speaker 2: it because we post the top loser line clip of
Speaker 2: the week on that Jeffery follow subscribing get your six pack.
Speaker 2: Going into funny messages.
Speaker 4: Like this one, Agina, this is me the guy who
Speaker 4: spilled the mare and Aara sauce on you at the restaurant.
Speaker 5: You know, I have to be honest.
Speaker 10: This isn't the first time that spilled food on someone
Speaker 10: and had a positive reaction. I think you give me
Speaker 10: your number is an indication that you want to go
Speaker 10: a little further. So I just want to marinate the
Speaker 10: opportunity to evolve this relationship into something else.
Speaker 5: So how about you give me a call and maybe
Speaker 5: we can see what we can get cooking.
Speaker 1: I feel like he actually wants to like pour cheese
Speaker 1: on her neck.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Does you think the word marinate comes from marinera?
Speaker 4: It's unclear.
Speaker 2: I would like to marror marinate under the cover.
Speaker 1: I would like to linguini. Let's go make a lasagnia together.
Speaker 8: Hi, it's me again.
Speaker 5: I processed your depositive at the bank the other day.
Speaker 12: I hope it doesn't seem in appropriate, but I clearly
Speaker 12: found you very attractive.
Speaker 5: I hope it doesn't bother you that I checked your.
Speaker 12: Account Bounce and I really think we'd be a great match.
Speaker 5: Anyways, So XO, hope.
Speaker 2: You have a good day, hottie.
Speaker 1: To do a voice to text, I mean, is it
Speaker 1: where the XO XO threw me more than any other
Speaker 1: piece of.
Speaker 2: That something became natural, Jose, doesn't bother you that looking
Speaker 2: back no bank manager has ever reached out to you. No,
Speaker 2: not at all.
Speaker 9: They probably are like, oh, this guy can't even afford
Speaker 9: his phone, but why call it.
Speaker 1: Han't got something going on though, so good for They go, wow,
Speaker 1: it's still connected. That's surprising.
Speaker 2: Listen.
Speaker 13: I had I gotta ask you something. So I have
Speaker 13: this TikTok channel. And the reason I I really wanted
Speaker 13: to link up with you is, uh, you know, I
Speaker 13: think I think you'd be perfect. I think we should
Speaker 13: we should work together on some stuff. I have this
Speaker 13: I have this one idea right like it's it's kind
Speaker 13: of like a fake crime thing, and uh, you know,
Speaker 13: I want to get people's reactions and so like, I
Speaker 13: have you walking into a Walmart and you know, you
Speaker 13: look like you're just loading up your pants with gomb
Speaker 13: with meat, you know, like meat, various meats from the
Speaker 13: from the meat aisle.
Speaker 5: It's it's like it'll be funny. Believe me, everybody's gonna
Speaker 5: think this is great.
Speaker 8: Yeh.
Speaker 2: The sad thing is three other women have fallen for
Speaker 2: that trick. Actually, I've seen that video.
Speaker 1: That's what they were doing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy secretly filming for TikTok.
Speaker 1: There No, it was just let's load your pants up
Speaker 1: with meat, and I literally mean it.
Speaker 2: Listen to Loser Line regularly at this time every week,
Speaker 2: and make sure you subscribe to the Brook and Jeffery
Speaker 2: YouTube channel, where you can listen to all of our
Speaker 2: Loser Line second dates and phone tabs. Right, we're got
Speaker 2: to do a phone tap.
Speaker 8: Right after this Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: In today's phone tab, a mom is waiting to hear
Speaker 2: when her new family portraits are going to be ready
Speaker 2: for pickup. Oh what could go wrong? Well, turns out
Speaker 2: there was an issue with the pictures, and unfortunately there
Speaker 2: is no way to fix it. I'm just hoping she
Speaker 2: does get offended by what I have to tell her.
Speaker 1: I have a feeling when you say that she's going
Speaker 1: to I don't see how.
Speaker 2: She possibly could in your brand new phone tap right
Speaker 2: now An.
Speaker 8: Mornings on the twenties.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, my name is Colby calling from Portraits. I'd
Speaker 2: like to speak with Teresa.
Speaker 4: Please.
Speaker 11: This is Teresa.
Speaker 2: Hi Teresa, how are you doing today?
Speaker 8: Great?
Speaker 2: How are you well? Not that great? I do, unfortunately
Speaker 2: have some bad news regarding your family portraits from the
Speaker 2: other day. Gosh, okay, oh no, what is it? Yeah, Well,
Speaker 2: theotographer apologizes for this. Okay, your pictures did not turn.
Speaker 11: Out well, oh no, do we have to retake them?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I don't think that's gonna help, because the photog says
Speaker 2: he didn't notice it at the time, But someone in
Speaker 2: your group was making a face during the pictures.
Speaker 11: It was probably my three year old, Charlie.
Speaker 7: He does that a lot.
Speaker 11: I guess again, oh, PJ, my thirteen year old.
Speaker 2: No, not him, although now that we're on the topic,
Speaker 2: his outfit clearly was mismatched to the rest of the family,
Speaker 2: so whoever a dressed him did not do a very
Speaker 2: good job. Wait that aside. Our photographer just wanted me
Speaker 2: to tell you he's very sorry that he didn't catch
Speaker 2: this at first. He's just not comfortable sending any of
Speaker 2: the photos out though, because he doesn't want his name
Speaker 2: to be attached with the work.
Speaker 14: I don't understand who was making faces.
Speaker 2: It was actually you, ma'am.
Speaker 5: Me.
Speaker 2: Yes, I wouldn't make it any faces. You could say
Speaker 2: that now, But I saw some of the pictures myself
Speaker 2: and it looked like a face to me.
Speaker 14: There is no way that I wouldn't I made a face.
Speaker 1: I would know.
Speaker 14: I'm the one who set this whole thing up.
Speaker 2: I hear that you're very upset, but if it helps
Speaker 2: it all. It just looks like you had major RBF
Speaker 2: that day. What have you? Oh? Have you heard that before?
Speaker 2: It's called resting face.
Speaker 14: Yeah, I know what that is.
Speaker 11: But there's no way I did that.
Speaker 2: Well, you did awful.
Speaker 8: No I didn't.
Speaker 2: It's not an insult to you. It's usually just.
Speaker 14: A person's insult to me.
Speaker 2: Okay, But normally people who have RBF are naturally good
Speaker 2: natured and very happy, but for some reason, it's just
Speaker 2: their face betrays them and looks upset.
Speaker 14: Oh my god, this can't be happening.
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't see you right now, ma'am, but I'm
Speaker 2: just assuming you've got some really hard RBF going right.
Speaker 14: Now, Yeah, right now, I do, because you cause it.
Speaker 2: Well, it's just during the photo shoot, even when you
Speaker 2: were smiling, it looked like you wanted to hurt.
Speaker 14: Oh my god, you are so rude.
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to help.
Speaker 14: I want to speak to your manager, please.
Speaker 2: Well, man, we do have a phone number for a
Speaker 2: doctor that we could pass along if you want to
Speaker 2: see someone about it. You called the line, mister, I'm
Speaker 2: not trying to hurt your feelings. I just want to
Speaker 2: be one hundred percent transparent and honest.
Speaker 14: You know what, you know what, It sounds like you
Speaker 14: really enjoyed this. You like making fun of me, You
Speaker 14: enjoyed calling me an RBF.
Speaker 2: I can't confirm that.
Speaker 14: You're kind of emailed me. You kind of emailed me
Speaker 14: instead of this phone call or texted me something.
Speaker 2: Well, I can't do that because then your husband, Bill
Speaker 2: wouldn't be happy.
Speaker 1: I haven't even.
Speaker 14: Told Bill about this, but I will, and he's gonna
Speaker 14: come down there and talk to you, and he's not
Speaker 14: going to be very happy that you call.
Speaker 2: You think he's not going to be happy, But I
Speaker 2: talked to him earlier and he said it was totally
Speaker 2: okay to do it during this prank phone call. Shut
Speaker 2: up the hell up. I can't because part of the
Speaker 2: radio is talking. I'm letting you know that this is
Speaker 2: jeff from Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 14: Oh my god, I'm going to murder him and you.
Speaker 14: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Oh no, then your rbf's gonna come out again.
Speaker 11: Oh it's gonna be there tonight.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I'm starting to get you all riled up. But Bill
Speaker 2: told us about your family photos, and he said, you'd
Speaker 2: freak out if something went wrong with him.
Speaker 1: What does he have the picture?
Speaker 14: What's going on with them? Do they look good?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I have not seen the pictures myself,
Speaker 2: But you know, we're just gonna assume that TJ screwed
Speaker 2: him up somehow.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 14: I wouldn't be surprised if he did.
Speaker 2: If you want, for an extra fee, we can photoshop
Speaker 2: another child's face over TJ's I.
Speaker 14: Might take you up on that.
Speaker 1: The week up every morning was food taps weekday mornings
Speaker 1: on the twenties, frooking Jeffrey.
Speaker 8: In the morning.
Speaker 2: They say, no good deed goes unpunished, and that's true
Speaker 2: for compliments too, Like just this morning, I was trying
Speaker 2: to be a nice guy and tell Brook her outfit
Speaker 2: today is way less frumpy and hideous than the one
Speaker 2: that she wore yesterday and the day before that in
Speaker 2: all the days I've ever known. What, do I even
Speaker 2: get credit or thank you at all? No, you don't.
Speaker 15: I'm sorry for complimenting your outfit today again. See one
Speaker 15: of our listeners had the same exact problem where she
Speaker 15: tried to give her date an honest compliment, and somehow
Speaker 15: he turns that into some sort of dig.
Speaker 1: How could he do that?
Speaker 2: You're going to hear what happened in your brand new
Speaker 2: second Date update? Next second Date update, Alexis. What do
Speaker 2: you find attractive in a guy's profile online? Maybe he's
Speaker 2: got a great smile. His profile says he works for
Speaker 2: White Claw.
Speaker 1: Wait, I would definitely message stop it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a roadie for Nickelback. Oh wait, sorry, that's
Speaker 2: Brooks thing. But one of our listeners had something else
Speaker 2: that she was in instantly attracted to on a guy's
Speaker 2: profile that made her.
Speaker 1: Go, oh, what is it?
Speaker 2: Let's talk to Kelly a little bit. Kelly, Welcome to
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 11: Hi, thank you?
Speaker 1: Did he work for? Truly? I feel like every guy
Speaker 1: listening is about to change their profile to include whatever
Speaker 1: it is you're about to say, Yeah, tell us about
Speaker 1: this guy.
Speaker 11: Okay, well I found this guy Mike while I was
Speaker 11: searching on my ause.
Speaker 1: It is his exotic name, not many of them Mike.
Speaker 2: With a cue. Yeah what was it about Mike that
Speaker 2: stood out so much?
Speaker 11: Okay, this is weird, but I really enjoy grocery shopping.
Speaker 9: Oh okay, therapeutic or like some people enjoy cleaning.
Speaker 11: Yeah, I mean I really like cooking, and then I
Speaker 11: also really like finding new products and interesting.
Speaker 1: I just love pay and all that money.
Speaker 2: And it is soothing when you're in the produce section
Speaker 2: and the thundergoes like yeah, and then it sprinkles all
Speaker 2: over all only time I shower all week. You guys know,
Speaker 2: I'm serious. I'm going to go with hard No, Kelly,
Speaker 2: I'm with you, even if everybody else hates the grocery.
Speaker 1: Did you find Jeffrey out lied and said that Mike? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was joking. Yeah, it's fine. It wasn't that funny.
Speaker 1: I forgive you, Kelly.
Speaker 2: Sorry, we were going off for a while. What did
Speaker 2: you see on Mike's profile?
Speaker 11: So he had a photo of himself in the produce aisles,
Speaker 11: just kind of like being goofy and holding you know,
Speaker 11: some fruits and vegetables.
Speaker 1: Please don't tell me it was a dude holding two melons.
Speaker 1: So do you ever wonder who takes that picture?
Speaker 2: Random? Excuse me, person that works here? You figured me
Speaker 2: holding the giant so you saw that that was a
Speaker 2: turn on to you?
Speaker 11: Yeah, I mean you know, I figured if you're cute
Speaker 11: under fluorescent light and you gotta be cute to realize.
Speaker 11: Yeah he was. So we talked and we made plans
Speaker 11: to meet up as far and then when I met him,
Speaker 11: he was he was way hotter than I thought he was.
Speaker 8: In the photo.
Speaker 11: Okay, Yeah, So I kind of told him that, like
Speaker 11: as a compliment, that his photos online were not great.
Speaker 1: And oh wait, did you word it that way?
Speaker 11: Well, I don't really remember exactly how I said it,
Speaker 11: but I kind of was like, you know, your photos
Speaker 11: online aren't good because you're so much more attractive in person.
Speaker 1: Okay, that one sits weird with I don't know about
Speaker 1: you guys, but for me, whenever I meet listeners and
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, you're not as ugly as I thought
Speaker 1: you were online, I feel like more guys do look
Speaker 1: better in person. Maybe was he offended?
Speaker 11: I mean, I also think he maybe was a little offended,
Speaker 11: But I like tried to make him understand that it
Speaker 11: was a compliment, and I offered to take photos for
Speaker 11: him so that he could use, which I now realize
Speaker 11: is maybe.
Speaker 8: Weird on this.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's like you're trying to set him up
Speaker 2: for the next person that he meets on the app.
Speaker 1: I mean, but girl, said that to you. Don't you
Speaker 1: feel like you just got friend zoned?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Pretty much.
Speaker 11: I honestly was just like nervous and was trying to
Speaker 11: with my weird way I get it.
Speaker 9: I mean, you tried to save it at least, right,
Speaker 9: it was like you left it out like you're way.
Speaker 1: Hotter than your ugly pictures online?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 8: Bye?
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you actually take new pictures for him?
Speaker 11: No? No, was wondering.
Speaker 1: What did you do at the bar drink and talk?
Speaker 2: We don't know that with her?
Speaker 11: No, no, no, we were just like talking and getting
Speaker 11: to know each other. And then we brought up camping,
Speaker 11: which well, I really like he's like kind of newer
Speaker 11: child or the stuff. But ari I came up and
Speaker 11: he said he had never been, and I freaking love
Speaker 11: ari I.
Speaker 2: Oh see this brooke feels about ari I. How you
Speaker 2: feel about grocery show. Don't they have?
Speaker 1: Like Yeah, every time you go, you're like, God, I
Speaker 1: need to start a new outdoor hobby. I'm going to
Speaker 1: buy a kayak and a mountain bike.
Speaker 2: Nothing hotter than talking about a.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wait till you get your first dividend check. Then
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like you get money to spend at
Speaker 1: the end of the year because it's a co op.
Speaker 2: Oh is that like a s's why? Okay, I can't wait.
Speaker 1: So you went?
Speaker 11: You just took him yeah obviously.
Speaker 1: Oh wow too, drunks at the r I on the
Speaker 1: first day. I wish I would have been there just
Speaker 1: to witness you guys walking around.
Speaker 2: The sleeping day. How did that go?
Speaker 11: I mean it was cute walking around making jokes.
Speaker 1: Did he still seem interested or was he just lying
Speaker 1: about being interested? You know what I mean? Like someone
Speaker 1: says they're super into something, You're like, yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 2: I like that too, and I don't lie to people
Speaker 2: on dates.
Speaker 4: Like I'm not sure it seems like.
Speaker 11: He was genuinely interested. I mean maybe he was flying,
Speaker 11: but I don't know. I thought we were having a
Speaker 11: good time.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you you're clueless. You have no ideas, no idea.
Speaker 2: Huh, all right, how long has this been since you
Speaker 2: gave him the tour of ri I.
Speaker 11: It's been three weeks?
Speaker 9: Oh hey, wait, maybe you're such a good tour guide.
Speaker 9: You motivated him to go camping and he's still out
Speaker 9: in the wilderness right now, not receiving any phone.
Speaker 1: Calls or he's missing. He's too new to it.
Speaker 2: It's called hashtag van life Brook, and we're going to
Speaker 2: check in on him. Hopefully he answers when we call
Speaker 2: and try and get you your second date update right
Speaker 2: after this.
Speaker 11: Thank you all right, hold on.
Speaker 2: Update. We got a text to seven eight five nine
Speaker 2: two that says, what's ri I. I mean, I guess
Speaker 2: not everybody would know.
Speaker 1: It's all over the world.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean everybody knows what it is. If you
Speaker 2: if you haven't been there. Yeah, it's a chain of
Speaker 2: outdoor recreation stores where they sell all sorts like bikes,
Speaker 2: camping gear, harnesses, whatever you would need to be outside.
Speaker 9: The North Face hoodies, which are that's the only thing
Speaker 9: I've ever bought.
Speaker 2: From ari I ever.
Speaker 1: Have you been to a store?
Speaker 2: No, I bought online Aline store too. Go check them out.
Speaker 2: But I should ask Brook this question because you've been
Speaker 2: there a lot. Are there hot people who work there
Speaker 2: or walk around there?
Speaker 1: A lot hot people? Yeah, there's definitely attractive people. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I just got a board from there this
Speaker 1: last year and the girl who fitted me for the
Speaker 1: board smoking.
Speaker 2: See That's what I'm worried about. I'm worried that when
Speaker 2: Kelly took Mike to the RII store. I'm hoping that
Speaker 2: he didn't meet some sexy outdoor climbing enthusiasts who invited
Speaker 2: him to scale her twin peaks right there in the
Speaker 2: back room. Because we've heard stuff like this happening before
Speaker 2: somebody else swoops in in the middle of it.
Speaker 1: I bet they have a pretty big back room. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of big stuff that they got to move
Speaker 1: through that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kelly, do you think that's a possibility. Were there
Speaker 2: any attractive females while you were shopping at RII?
Speaker 11: I mean, wasn't like he was flirting with anybody in
Speaker 11: front of you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, maybe it could just be
Speaker 1: that he felt like he was forced into something he
Speaker 1: actually wasn't that interested in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's probably.
Speaker 1: I mean, he couldn't keep continuing the lie, right because
Speaker 1: then before he knows that he's camping with you and
Speaker 1: hating every second of it, get out of that.
Speaker 11: I guess. I think camping is great though.
Speaker 1: With you, you know, nobody else in this room.
Speaker 2: All right, let's call Mike though and see what he
Speaker 2: asked to say. You're ready to do this, Kelly? Okay,
Speaker 2: here we go. Hello, Hey, I'm looking for Mike.
Speaker 5: Uh yeah, is this the Bill Collector? Gun?
Speaker 2: No, I'm not a bill collector? Hard box right now.
Speaker 1: Impressive that you answer your phone when you're getting those
Speaker 1: type of calls.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you should just hit ignore next time.
Speaker 8: Bro.
Speaker 5: Wait, so who is this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're We're a radio show called Brook and Jeffrey
Speaker 2: in the.
Speaker 1: Morning with the Love Collectors.
Speaker 2: Please ignore my.
Speaker 5: No, we're a radio show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're a radio show. We do a segment called
Speaker 2: second Date Update where we try and help out our
Speaker 2: listeners reconnect after they've gone out on a date with
Speaker 2: somebody that they really liked.
Speaker 8: Uh.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, it's a good thing. He means somebody went
Speaker 2: out with you and had a really good time and
Speaker 2: wants to meet up again. Her name's Kelly. Oh it
Speaker 2: was it's been a while ago. It was like three
Speaker 2: weeks ago that you guys met up.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I kind of wish it was the Bill Collector, but wow,
Speaker 5: it was that bad.
Speaker 1: When we talked to her, she sounded lovely.
Speaker 5: Oh, let me just be honest here, like it was
Speaker 5: okay for a little but it did get weird.
Speaker 2: Okay, are you talking about where she offered to take
Speaker 2: new pictures of you because your profile picks weren't good enough.
Speaker 5: She told you all that, Yeah, I mean yes, But
Speaker 5: also I don't think we should really be talking about that.
Speaker 2: What should we be talking about?
Speaker 5: If that's how she wants to play, then I'm happy
Speaker 5: to play my side of the story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's hear your side.
Speaker 1: Sounds y?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what happened?
Speaker 5: I mean, did she mention us talking about camping?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that came up that you guys mentioned going camping
Speaker 2: and she even took you to a camping good store.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah she was. She was thinking of going
Speaker 5: camping with some friends soon, and and she was like
Speaker 5: basically inviting me, which I mean, that's kind of weird,
Speaker 5: you know, after a first day to be like, oh,
Speaker 5: why don't you come camping for multiple days and meet
Speaker 5: my friends?
Speaker 2: Like that's nice when you put it that way. No,
Speaker 2: I see what he means.
Speaker 9: It's one thing to go camping, but then I'm gonna
Speaker 9: be stuck with your friends.
Speaker 1: But maybe okay, wait, wait though maybe it was like
Speaker 1: one of those invitations where you like, you know, I
Speaker 1: automatically invite people to everything, but it doesn't necessarily mean
Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna fall through.
Speaker 2: I think you're gonna say no, so that that's the
Speaker 2: big red flag. She liked you and wanted you to
Speaker 2: meet her friends.
Speaker 5: I mean, no, no, no, no, that's not the big red flag.
Speaker 5: I told her, I'm not really the biggest fan of camping.
Speaker 5: I tried it once. I really didn't love it. I
Speaker 5: didn't love it so much that I actually slept in
Speaker 5: my car. Oh yeah, And apparently for her that was
Speaker 5: like the worst thing I could say to her.
Speaker 2: What why?
Speaker 8: Why? Yeah?
Speaker 5: I don't know. She was so shocked, and she was like,
Speaker 5: how do you not like camping? Everyone loves camping? Like
Speaker 5: she was like, what, You've never spent a night an attempt.
Speaker 5: You've never you're even the joy of taking the I
Speaker 5: don't think I can say that word on the radio bed.
Speaker 5: You've got to have the rumble with the bear, Like what,
Speaker 5: oh my god?
Speaker 1: Those are hers.
Speaker 5: She just kept going on and on and on about
Speaker 5: how great camping was, and I'm trying to force a smile.
Speaker 5: Then she dragged me to that, uh, that sporting good store.
Speaker 5: I don't know, what's the car.
Speaker 1: Wait that all happened before you guys went to ri
Speaker 1: I Yeah, dude, the way she played it. The way
Speaker 1: she described it is that you said you were new
Speaker 1: and you were excited about trying it out.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, no. She was like going on about
Speaker 5: it at dinner and then at the store. It just was,
Speaker 5: it was NonStop.
Speaker 2: Okay. She was trying. She was trying to sell you
Speaker 2: on going camping by showing you all of the things
Speaker 2: that you could buy and all the things you could
Speaker 2: use the next time you went out into nature.
Speaker 5: She showed me eighteen different types of canteens. I was like,
Speaker 5: I get it. Can we go home? Oh?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 7: For camp?
Speaker 2: She should work for you?
Speaker 1: Should I don't think.
Speaker 5: I think she getting the commissioned or she has a
Speaker 5: lot of stock. There's something like that.
Speaker 1: Her last name is actually Ari.
Speaker 2: I can ask if that's true because I didn't tell
Speaker 2: you this earlier. But Kelly is on the other line
Speaker 2: right now, listening to this whole thing.
Speaker 8: Why how you doing Hi.
Speaker 11: I'm just gonna stick with what I said on the date,
Speaker 11: is that everyone does love camping. They just need to
Speaker 11: find the right things to take with them so they
Speaker 11: feel comfortable.
Speaker 5: That is objectively not true. Not everyone loves you. What
Speaker 5: crazy thing to say? You, psycho?
Speaker 6: Oh, we don't have to call anyone names.
Speaker 11: But if you're going.
Speaker 5: To be that's on the radio, that's pretty crazy to
Speaker 5: begin with.
Speaker 2: So okay, everybody likes being on the radio. Sometimes you
Speaker 2: just have to try it and get used to it
Speaker 2: a little bit.
Speaker 1: That was actually psycho.
Speaker 2: They're nervous.
Speaker 9: We can show you all kinds of microphone.
Speaker 1: I mean, Kelly, it doesn't sound like you're listening to
Speaker 1: him at all.
Speaker 6: I heard what he said, and I really truly believe that,
Speaker 6: like deep down, he really likes camping based on other
Speaker 6: stuff that he said. And you know, if I remember,
Speaker 6: I think he did say that he didn't have a
Speaker 6: great time, but he would be open to trying camping again.
Speaker 1: Oh really like that leading her off?
Speaker 5: Like I was just saying that to try to get
Speaker 5: you to stop tamp explaining to me, to us all
Speaker 5: the time, and maybe.
Speaker 2: There could be a small nugget of truth to it.
Speaker 2: Do you think, Mike, are you on board with her?
Speaker 5: Because I hate camping. I don't want to do it.
Speaker 5: I don't know how to make that any core.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, sometimes some things are an acquired taste,
Speaker 2: like coffee or mess.
Speaker 11: How can anybody not like camping? You're in the outdoors,
Speaker 11: there's fresh air.
Speaker 5: Why am I still on the phone right now, like
Speaker 5: I said this, and you guys are still talking about it.
Speaker 5: I really don't understand there's.
Speaker 2: Still on the phone because somewhere, deep, deep down, you
Speaker 2: really do want to see Kelly again and go out
Speaker 2: one more time. Even if I'm not saying out in nature,
Speaker 2: Let's go out in the city, somewhere, somewhere that we
Speaker 2: would pay for if you're up for it, Mike, No,
Speaker 2: far away from Aria. That's what we do, Mike. We
Speaker 2: offer to send you guys out on another day on
Speaker 2: our dime.
Speaker 5: It's clearly not a match. I mean, camping is clearly
Speaker 5: her number one thing. She doesn't have time for a
Speaker 5: man because she's so married to camping.
Speaker 2: She's married to the woods exactly.
Speaker 5: She's going to marry a bear.
Speaker 2: At least meet up with her one more time so
Speaker 2: she could take some new photos of you for your profile.
Speaker 5: Pick no, because she's going to drag me to the
Speaker 5: woods to take those photos.
Speaker 8: Kelly.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, we're not gonna only get a second date
Speaker 2: for you here.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 14: I'm going to try and see if there's an outdoors
Speaker 14: the app or something I can find a man on oa.
Speaker 2: Oh, there's a good app. It's about how to start
Speaker 2: a campfire. It's called Tinder.
Speaker 8: I get it.
Speaker 2: But we were so close to ending on a laugh
Speaker 2: and just.
Speaker 8: Missed freaking Jeffrey in the morning, I just.
Speaker 2: Got a text at seventy five two that says, jeff
Speaker 2: why is it Every time it's extremely clear they're not
Speaker 2: a good match, you still ask if they'll go out.
Speaker 1: Again, and and you always pushed the side that you
Speaker 1: know is wrong.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know why I do it. Is it
Speaker 2: because I believe in love against all odds? Does that
Speaker 2: make me a bad guy?
Speaker 3: If so called Billie Eilish because you're a.
Speaker 2: Bad the bag?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you thought about that for a while.
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 1: I like it.
Speaker 2: It just shows everybody has a different way on how
Speaker 2: these dates go. She saw it as green flags, he's
Speaker 2: interested in camping, he wants to learn. He saw it
Speaker 2: as being camp shamed within an inch of his life.
Speaker 1: And I saw it as I'm never going to be
Speaker 1: able to hear that Billy Eilish song again without thinking
Speaker 1: about you.
Speaker 2: But the one thing that we can learn now of
Speaker 2: this is that we're always here. For you, no matter
Speaker 2: what good.
Speaker 1: Day's bad days, no matter how many bad decisions you make, Absolutely.
Speaker 2: On your side, you'll fight for you and offer you
Speaker 2: second dates. Call that person who wasn't calling you back.
Speaker 8: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: Do you think ghosts still tried fine love and hook
Speaker 2: up in the afterlifee?
Speaker 1: Oh? Do they still cheat too?
Speaker 2: Just because you're dead doesn't mean you don't have needs.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, I imagine them logging onto the ghost web
Speaker 2: and writing romantic posts to each other like man for
Speaker 2: woman three thousand years old. Our spirits crossed paths last
Speaker 2: Sunday when I floated past you in the haunted Jiffy
Speaker 2: Lube Jeffy loub. As soon as I saw that old
Speaker 2: Victorian dress you had on, I thought, damn, I'd like
Speaker 2: to haunt her hallways.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Let's get under that petticoat.
Speaker 2: Okay, isn't that sweet? I wish we could read more
Speaker 2: like those, but unfortunately we're still in the realm of
Speaker 2: the living, so all we can do or find Craigslist
Speaker 2: misconnections from alive people desperately looking for love online don't
Speaker 2: even have access to the ghost Internet. No, I don't
Speaker 2: know how to get over there, so we'll just read
Speaker 2: the funniest ones from living people coming up at a ten.
Speaker 8: City Misconnections that was staring.
Speaker 2: There's only two places to find true love in this world.
Speaker 2: One is inside a dark storage closet at an abandoned
Speaker 2: Arby's right between the box of wet naps and horsey
Speaker 2: sauce packets, very specific. The other is on the pages
Speaker 2: of craigslist dot org. We scoured the website every single
Speaker 2: week to find the best miss connections they have to offer,
Speaker 2: like this one titled you Can be My Player too
Speaker 2: Anytime Already Man for Woman. In twenties GameStop.
Speaker 3: I was working behind the game stop counter when you
Speaker 3: came in. Normally I paid no attention to the plebeians
Speaker 3: that frequent the establishments, but there was something different about you,
Speaker 3: maybe because you didn't have the usable GameStop bo or
Speaker 3: and I like to call it funky foot locker syndromel.
Speaker 9: Instead of a bell of the door, someone just sniffs
Speaker 9: and goest a customer gas.
Speaker 3: My eyes followed your long, lushless brunette hair as you
Speaker 3: brownsed our vast array of double xl Zelda merch.
Speaker 2: That's the extra big stuff.
Speaker 3: You then took me by surprise by whipping around and
Speaker 3: asking me if we carried roller coaster Tycoon.
Speaker 2: Well that's a classic bro.
Speaker 3: A female of classic taste. I was delighted. I let
Speaker 3: out a tiny giggle.
Speaker 5: Is this me?
Speaker 3: I know you are at that point, I gushed, and
Speaker 3: I said you were the first chicken eons not to
Speaker 3: ask me about Pokemon. You then said, so, do you
Speaker 3: have roller coaster Tycoon or not?
Speaker 2: Just answer me.
Speaker 3: I tried to stay flirty by asking if you wanted
Speaker 3: to tag team my animal crossing village with me, even
Speaker 3: let you be the raccoon.
Speaker 1: Is that a good thing?
Speaker 3: Before you could answer, I chad from behind a mountain.
Speaker 3: You cooler appeared and asked if I was bothering you.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's just it's just bothering you.
Speaker 3: You smiled and said not anymore. As I watched you
Speaker 3: two leave the store together, I couldn't help think about
Speaker 3: what our kids would look like someday, so I went
Speaker 3: in the back and did a screen gram of you
Speaker 3: from the security camp.
Speaker 1: Let's stop writing now.
Speaker 3: I made it lookalike family in the Thims game. Don't
Speaker 3: tell anyone, but I made your boobs bigger than in
Speaker 3: real life.
Speaker 2: Come by and check it out.
Speaker 1: You know you want to have sympathy for it. But
Speaker 1: then let's go to.
Speaker 2: Your next misconnection titled you Freed My body Part Woman
Speaker 2: Man thirties bus depot.
Speaker 1: I think we bro came off.
Speaker 2: I was the curvy brunette wearing Cookie Monster pajama bottoms
Speaker 2: that had my entire forearms stuck inside the vending machine.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, yeah, I mean are you still wearing them
Speaker 1: from high school? Is that the Yeah?
Speaker 2: You were the tall, dark maintenance worker in the green
Speaker 2: jumpsuit that asked if I needed any help. Frustrated at
Speaker 2: the time, I replied, wow, you really cracked the case, Sherlock.
Speaker 8: Is that a yes?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 2: Soon a young child heared by me and asked what happened.
Speaker 2: I told him to make like a tree and beat.
Speaker 1: It close enough for you match up.
Speaker 2: What I didn't tell him was that I got drunk
Speaker 2: on the ride in from Cleveland. I had no money
Speaker 2: and needed some talkies asap.
Speaker 11: Monster.
Speaker 2: Before I knew it, your rough hands looped up my
Speaker 2: arm with a liquid that smelled like motor oil but
Speaker 2: tasted like garlic butter. Wow, yeah, why don't you taste it?
Speaker 8: Smell.
Speaker 1: She was hungry, would taste so different.
Speaker 2: You then seductively gave me a yank and a twist,
Speaker 2: and then miraculously my arm was free. I wish I
Speaker 2: could have stayed longer, but I saw building security coming
Speaker 2: towards me, so I ran. When I glanced over my shoulder,
Speaker 2: I saw you still standing there, watching me leave and
Speaker 2: not saying a thing. Okay, I miss you, my big, green,
Speaker 2: silent Frankenstein. Maybe I'll get stuck on purpose next Wednesday night.
Speaker 2: Remember to bring the lube.
Speaker 1: Is going on, You're not very well, shouldn't need talkies.
Speaker 1: After that, she was, I'll fill up on licking up
Speaker 1: that loop.
Speaker 2: Go to your next misconnection. It's titled not a pirate,
Speaker 2: but I have some booty for a woman. Forties farmers market.
Speaker 2: You slim Asian wearing greenish flower dress, holding up papaya.
Speaker 2: I was the smiling gentleman with the large forearms and
Speaker 2: even larger mole on my cheek, selling lost treasures.
Speaker 1: Oh how big is a mole, sir.
Speaker 2: One? Strolling through the stands. I attempted to catch your
Speaker 2: eye by flashing wind chimes made from broken beer bottles.
Speaker 2: When that didn't work, I shouted blow torch for sale
Speaker 2: and waved the lit flame over top of my hand.
Speaker 2: Your friend noticed and pulls you towards my booth. That's
Speaker 2: when I whispered my secret to you. Oh no, everything
Speaker 2: you see on the three tables right now are mementos
Speaker 2: found in the landfill right behind the trailer.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, the landfill pirate. I see you were the
Speaker 1: land guy.
Speaker 2: Your beauty was unmatched. That's why I insisted you try
Speaker 2: on my favorite mud stained kimono. I just dug out
Speaker 2: last Thursday. You declined, and I bowed not only not
Speaker 2: only respect, but I also wanted to peek at your
Speaker 2: toes juicy little piggies. As you walked away, I followed,
Speaker 2: hiding under my duct taped bucket hats so you wouldn't
Speaker 2: be the wiser.
Speaker 1: I think she sees man the kimono.
Speaker 2: This guy knows fashion. Would you be interested in the
Speaker 2: fun lunch date at my place?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 1: What do you scrounding the lay and feel back there?
Speaker 2: I just got new silver ware signed Phil.
Speaker 1: Phil Boy, it's a pirate named Phil.
Speaker 2: That was an extra special edition of Misconnections.
Speaker 8: Today, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, we've.
Speaker 2: Got first time player Marcos from Sumner and you do
Speaker 2: not want any of this action, Brook, because Marcos used
Speaker 2: to be a professional boxer.
Speaker 1: Whoa Marcos one two? Knock him out?
Speaker 2: Marco with a K.
Speaker 1: So it's k O in your name. That was a reach,
Speaker 1: wasn't it.
Speaker 2: I liked it? Yeah, Marcos. Marcos used to train eight
Speaker 2: to nine hours every single day in the gym, and
Speaker 2: now he stopped all that. Why so he can pay
Speaker 2: the bills?
Speaker 1: Yoh, because you're tired, Marcos.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, ages getting to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you must have eaten.
Speaker 2: So many calories for training eight hours.
Speaker 1: That's a good question. What'd you eat for breakfast when
Speaker 1: you were training?
Speaker 5: I actually never really diet it.
Speaker 7: I was just in the gym so much that it
Speaker 7: evened out.
Speaker 5: Whatever.
Speaker 1: You wait, A dozen eggs straight raw right, cracked him straight.
Speaker 5: Into cried it once or twice. Yeah, when I really
Speaker 5: need a soup.
Speaker 7: But I jday McDonald's.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a true fighter's mentality. We're sending broke out
Speaker 2: of the studio while that happens. Marcos. You know how
Speaker 2: the game works. You got thirty seconds to answer as
Speaker 2: many questions as possible. If you don't know when you
Speaker 2: can say past, but you have to beat her out
Speaker 2: right to win.
Speaker 5: Are you ready?
Speaker 2: Let's go for the ko today. Your time starts now.
Speaker 2: Today is National Lighthouse Day. Which state has the most
Speaker 2: lighthouse houses? Maine, Michigan or Minnesota?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 8: Maine.
Speaker 2: What do you call the practice of having multiple husbands
Speaker 2: or wives?
Speaker 10: Uh?
Speaker 11: All?
Speaker 2: In the Wizard of Oz? What fictional city is located
Speaker 2: at the end of the yellow brick road? Up to?
Speaker 2: How many seconds does it take for solid food to
Speaker 2: reach your stomach after swallowing? Four? Eight or twelve seconds?
Speaker 8: Eight?
Speaker 5: Hmmm?
Speaker 2: What are we doing with some of these? The third
Speaker 2: one technic? I think you do got to give it
Speaker 2: to I think we wrote it all right, Marcos. We're
Speaker 2: being very generous with you today because we fear you
Speaker 2: so good. We're gonna bring Brook back into the studio.
Speaker 2: You just telling you like it is. Did you get
Speaker 2: beat up a lot when you were boxing? Because Brooke
Speaker 2: is thinking that you had too many hits to the
Speaker 2: head and that's why she thinks she's gonna beat you.
Speaker 7: I did get hit a lot, boy, I usually took
Speaker 7: the wind, so I can't really complain.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't imagine. I mean, I know that it's
Speaker 1: a good sport and everything. I can't imagine wanting to
Speaker 1: punch people or get punched.
Speaker 2: Well, no, it's okay. I'm sure Marco said sorry every
Speaker 2: time he hit them.
Speaker 5: Marco, every single I usually did shake their hand apologize
Speaker 5: after the match. Well, yeah, I wasn't really a fighter either.
Speaker 5: I just did it because it was it was cool.
Speaker 1: People were just born to kick, but they can't help it,
Speaker 1: all right, like a butterfly, and then apologize later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're up, you're ready. Yeah, your time starts now.
Speaker 2: Today is National Lighthouse Day. Which state has the most lighthouses? Maine, Michigan,
Speaker 2: or Minnesota.
Speaker 1: I think it's Michigan.
Speaker 2: What do you call the practice of having multiple husbands
Speaker 2: or wives?
Speaker 1: Oh? My god, polyamory?
Speaker 2: In the Wizard of Oz, what fictional city is located
Speaker 2: at the end of the yellow brick road? Oz Up
Speaker 2: to how many seconds does it take for solid food
Speaker 2: to reach your stomach after swallowing four, eight or twelve seconds?
Speaker 1: I go with four. It's pretty quick.
Speaker 2: That was quick. We'll see how you guys did when
Speaker 2: we go to the scoreboard with Jose.
Speaker 6: Not call me handsome if you're not gonna give me
Speaker 6: some that the donk and donc.
Speaker 3: Second, Marcos, you got to correct today like a one.
Speaker 6: Two points.
Speaker 2: And Brook with a knockout.
Speaker 5: Also to.
Speaker 2: Time does go to the house on these Marcos. Sorry
Speaker 2: about that, but let's get these answers in real quick.
Speaker 2: It's National Lighthouse Day. The state with the most lighthouses
Speaker 2: is Michigan, with one hundred and fifteen of them.
Speaker 1: Just so shoreline. Right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you call the practice of having multiple
Speaker 2: husbands or wives? Brooke was smiling when she answered polygamy, polyamory?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh they.
Speaker 1: Did polyamorous relationship. Shit, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh, sorry about that Wizard of Oz, the fictional city
Speaker 2: at the end of the Yellowick Road. We were looking
Speaker 2: for Emerald City, but technically we had to give you
Speaker 2: both the answer Oz because that's also.
Speaker 1: Right city of Oz. Right, yeah, but the Emerald.
Speaker 2: How many seconds does it take for solid food to
Speaker 2: reach your stomach after you swallow it? Eight seconds?
Speaker 1: That's a long time. Not mine, dude, just.
Speaker 2: Like a bottomless pit.
Speaker 8: Feel it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Marcos, I'm sorry, I can't give you any money here,
Speaker 2: but just for playing, you do win a fifty dollars
Speaker 2: gift card to sugar Plum Sugar Plum or the Sugaring
Speaker 2: Experts to do full body hair removal for everybody. They
Speaker 2: have five locations in the Puget Sound and you can
Speaker 2: book online at sugarplum dot com. Well, thank you, guys man.
Speaker 5: That's my first draw. I'll come back better next.
Speaker 1: Okay, that is a fighting mentality. I think next time
Speaker 1: you just need to wear a rope. That was probably.
Speaker 5: Intro.
Speaker 1: So yeah, oh you need an intro.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll work and work on all of that for you. Marcos.
Speaker 2: Thanks for playing. We'll be back to do winn Brooks
Speaker 2: Buck the same time tomorrow, brook and Jeffrey in the morning.