Speaker 1: You don't hear me confession, I can't take back earl
Speaker 1: arms speaker.
Speaker 2: And when I was a kid, the naughtiest thing I
Speaker 2: ever did was go out with my friends dressed in
Speaker 2: all pink and we'd cover random people's front lawns with
Speaker 2: dozens of plastic pink flamingos.
Speaker 1: Oh man, oh goddamn, that's so cute and also kind
Speaker 1: of expensive.
Speaker 3: Jeffrey, Sorry, did you say bad's and cool?
Speaker 4: Thank you?
Speaker 2: That's it's how the legend of the pink flamingo bandidos came.
Speaker 3: To be true. Story.
Speaker 2: You just got flocked and lately living in lots of
Speaker 2: mass speaker requests from people who want to confess things
Speaker 2: that they did in their childhood.
Speaker 3: So let's do that and start with a guy who
Speaker 3: wants to go buy Alex today. Alex, welcome to the show.
Speaker 4: Hey, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: Good Hey, Okay, would you consider yourself a good kid
Speaker 1: or a bad kid overall?
Speaker 3: Or a flamingo bandid.
Speaker 4: I was never as evil as the flamingo bandito. I
Speaker 4: was always a good kid, always a good chi.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll see about that. Voice changers on, you're the
Speaker 2: mass speaker. Whenever you're ready let's hear your confession.
Speaker 4: Well, one night, when I was about ten years old,
Speaker 4: my friends convinced me to sneak out of the house.
Speaker 3: That's pretty young, did yeah.
Speaker 4: A little young, But the whole idea was that we're
Speaker 4: going to go to the local school and egg it.
Speaker 5: Ah.
Speaker 1: So it's probably like eight forty five pm two Yeah.
Speaker 4: But yeah, no, I was a very very good kid,
Speaker 4: and I didn't really want to do it. I was
Speaker 4: just trying to fit in, you know, with my buddies.
Speaker 4: I would have gotten away with it, but poor little,
Speaker 4: innocent old me was so worried because I was left
Speaker 4: with the two empty egg cartons and I couldn't find
Speaker 4: a recycling Oh you're going.
Speaker 1: To recycle them? I like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you me in the.
Speaker 1: Garbage, you say, composed of bles.
Speaker 3: I just need to recycle.
Speaker 4: That was the main thing on my mind. Yeah, it's recycled.
Speaker 3: Yeah right, So what'd you do?
Speaker 4: Well? While I was walking home, I had the egg
Speaker 4: cartons in my hand looking for my recycling ben and
Speaker 4: sure enough a cop comes pulling up. When you're young,
Speaker 4: even yeah, and there I am caught red handed, or
Speaker 4: I guess yo handed. Oh god, yeah, you quickly figured
Speaker 4: out that I was the one. So, of course, being
Speaker 4: ten years old, I started crying.
Speaker 3: Oh man, did you blame it on your friends?
Speaker 4: No? They took off running, so I didn't want to
Speaker 4: bring him down. I'm too good of a kid.
Speaker 3: What did the cops do?
Speaker 1: Do they put you at handcuffs?
Speaker 4: No? No cuffs, that would have been terrifying. But no,
Speaker 4: they they put me in the back seats. I'm like, oh, no,
Speaker 4: either I'm going to jail or I don't know, Like
Speaker 4: how long do I get for eggs? Yeah, he dropped
Speaker 4: me off and gave me the threat of I'm going
Speaker 4: to come back tomorrow. I'm gonna talk to your parents.
Speaker 1: Oh no, wait, he didn't knock on the door just then.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 4: No to lit me up there, you probably better to do. Yeah,
Speaker 4: he never showed up. You never came back the next day.
Speaker 4: So I was sweating for months just thinking that this
Speaker 4: CoP's gonna come.
Speaker 3: Oh that's smarter.
Speaker 2: Than cop every night, and you're the best behavior of
Speaker 2: your life.
Speaker 1: I bet that that's actually worse than him showing up
Speaker 1: the next day. Just getting over with Now you're living
Speaker 1: with the guilt doom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so your parents never found out?
Speaker 4: No parents never found out, so nobody knows until now.
Speaker 2: Well, we got to get to another caller. We have
Speaker 2: someone wants to go by Tiffany today too. Tiffany, welcome
Speaker 2: to the show.
Speaker 5: Thank you all right?
Speaker 1: How you feeling?
Speaker 5: I'm good? How are you guys?
Speaker 2: She's excited, very perky for someone who's about to share
Speaker 2: a dark secret from your childhood. But voice changer is on.
Speaker 2: You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear it.
Speaker 5: Well it's not dark, but I don't come off really great.
Speaker 5: So I have a younger sister. We're five years apart,
Speaker 5: and she was always very gullible and I always loved
Speaker 5: to mess with her when.
Speaker 3: She was sick.
Speaker 1: She was really prime.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so we.
Speaker 5: Can call her Carrie. So one day I choked and
Speaker 5: I was like, Carrie, you know, now that you're seven
Speaker 5: years old, it's time that you knew our big family secret.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, what is she is? She adopted? Dad's an alien.
Speaker 5: No, it's so dumb when I think about it now,
Speaker 5: But I said, you know, mom, she isn't really our mom.
Speaker 5: Our real mom got eaten by a lion in Africa
Speaker 5: on a safari.
Speaker 3: You told us to a seven year old.
Speaker 5: Yes, And then I told her that an agency sent
Speaker 5: over this like replacement lady, and that's our fake mom.
Speaker 4: Whoa.
Speaker 5: And then I said, the good news is she's just
Speaker 5: a fake mom, so you don't really have to listen
Speaker 5: to her.
Speaker 1: Oh you're just setting her up to get in all
Speaker 1: sorts of trouble.
Speaker 3: That is sound logic.
Speaker 4: Kid.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, that's fake mom, that that is your real mom, right, Oh.
Speaker 3: God, are you going to believe it?
Speaker 2: I was kind of buying into the lion eating story
Speaker 2: to second.
Speaker 3: What really happened very convincing. Maybe it's the voice changer
Speaker 3: that got me.
Speaker 5: I just I'll never forget how she looked, and she
Speaker 5: was like, oh my god. And all she wanted to
Speaker 5: know really was did our dad know? And I said, yes,
Speaker 5: he knows.
Speaker 4: He.
Speaker 3: Was there. Yeah, so funny.
Speaker 5: And then she spent a whole day just ignoring fake
Speaker 5: mom's requests, and her mom was kind of exasperated, like,
Speaker 5: oh my god, she's getting so stubborn. And my sister, yeah,
Speaker 5: she's always been subber, but she was just like, Nope, nope,
Speaker 5: not going to do it.
Speaker 1: To hear with your fake request, fake mother go.
Speaker 3: Back to the agency.
Speaker 5: And then at the end of the day, our dad
Speaker 5: got home and I told her to like, don't bring
Speaker 5: it up because it's you know, it's kind of painful.
Speaker 5: But she went straight to my dad and she was
Speaker 5: asking about what is real mom looked like and what
Speaker 5: was it like when she got eaten by the lion,
Speaker 5: And he had to show her a picture of our
Speaker 5: mom holding her as a Baby's just a really convince
Speaker 5: her that she was really our mom. And yeah, I
Speaker 5: was grounded for a month. And I don't tell people
Speaker 5: because I come off really mean.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm an older sibling and I don't
Speaker 1: think it's that mean.
Speaker 3: Is that man?
Speaker 1: Is that bad?
Speaker 3: I think it comes to the territory. I want to
Speaker 3: know why you're trying at my brother's now The Texan
Speaker 3: seventy eight five nine too.
Speaker 2: If you have a confession you've been holding on to,
Speaker 2: we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make
Speaker 2: you the next mass speaker.
Speaker 3: Fulletown's coming up
Speaker 1: Next, brooking Jeffrey in the morning,