Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks.
Speaker 1: And we continue with part two of our conversation with
Speaker 1: Amy Crenshaw right after these brief messages from our generous sponsors.
Speaker 1: All right, so day one you open, you shared a death.
Speaker 1: How do people in the community even know? How do
Speaker 1: the homeless know? And how do the non homeless know
Speaker 1: what the world's going on? It's a community cafe, but
Speaker 1: how does everybody know? I guess you have to walk
Speaker 1: in and figure it.
Speaker 2: Out, you do. You kind of had to walk in
Speaker 2: and figure it out. Now, there were.
Speaker 1: People, I mean, I guess I'm I'm imagine some lawyer
Speaker 1: walking in and right behind them some homeless dude and
Speaker 1: they both had to been looking at each other like
Speaker 1: what's going on?
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, at that time we had I had the
Speaker 2: sweetest little old lady and no kidding, she was old.
Speaker 2: She was probably I'm thinking she was like eighty five.
Speaker 2: She was a friend's grandmother that came and volunteered to
Speaker 2: be our greeter. So she had this whole little thing
Speaker 2: and it said, hey, welcome to community cafe. And she'd say,
Speaker 2: do you know anything about us? And they'd say no,
Speaker 2: and she'd say, well, we're a nonprofit, donation based cafe.
Speaker 2: We believe everybody's entitled to great, healthy food. So what
Speaker 2: that means is, if you can't afford a meal, come
Speaker 2: on in. Volunteer for anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour,
Speaker 2: and then you come around the counter and you order
Speaker 2: your lunch, just like everybody else's ordering their lunch. Come in,
Speaker 2: have a seat.
Speaker 1: Oh, and volunteer first.
Speaker 2: Right right, Ah, there's there's a caveat to that. You know,
Speaker 2: a lot of times if somebody comes in and says
Speaker 2: I'm starving or I'm freezing to death, I always feed them.
Speaker 1: But the idea is volunteer first.
Speaker 2: Volunteer first, because we've actually had a couple of people
Speaker 2: walk out, you know, after they've eaten. So volunteer.
Speaker 1: And does that make you angry?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Not, Why wouldn't it You know, I don't mean angry
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, it may. It would make me angry
Speaker 1: that they're taking from other people. You need it now.
Speaker 2: It makes me, yes, it's righteous angry. It makes me
Speaker 2: angry for the fellow person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, on the street, that's what I mean.
Speaker 2: The person that sleeps in the next to them makes
Speaker 2: it's exactly.
Speaker 1: It does unbelievable selfishness to people who are trying to
Speaker 1: help you.
Speaker 2: Right, And because I have no social background, it has
Speaker 2: taken me, and I learned something every day. It has
Speaker 2: taken me a lot of time to learn what the
Speaker 2: right responses are to that. It has taken Would you
Speaker 2: ban him? We? Well, I was just getting ray. We've
Speaker 2: banned a couple people. Should Yes, we absolutely have banned
Speaker 2: a couple people. I can only think of four in
Speaker 2: the nine years that we banned. And I have one
Speaker 2: little fellow that calls me mama and he'll come in
Speaker 2: and he actually pulled a knife on somebody, So I
Speaker 2: have banned him for life.
Speaker 1: He pulled a knife.
Speaker 2: I don't think he really Yeah, was.
Speaker 1: He cutting up of salisbury steak?
Speaker 2: No, he just went in the kitchen and yeah, got
Speaker 2: a knife, and yeah, I be mad at one of
Speaker 2: our other volunteers.
Speaker 1: Part of what we have to talk about is not
Speaker 1: only these folks homeless, A lot of them probably have
Speaker 1: been at Oh.
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, And he definitely does and calls me mama,
Speaker 2: and I'll see him out on the street and go, Mama,
Speaker 2: can I come to work today? I promise I'll behave
Speaker 2: and you know, I'll kill him. Come on in and
Speaker 2: I'll get you something to drink. You know, I'll get
Speaker 2: you a hot cup of coffee or you know whatever.
Speaker 2: So and we usually I'll send him out with the
Speaker 2: soup or something like that. We really try real hard,
Speaker 2: and I can't think of I really can't think of
Speaker 2: anybody that we have actually turned away with nothing.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. You've got to have enough people
Speaker 1: coming in that are paying above to cover the people
Speaker 1: that we're talking about right now. And you know, I
Speaker 1: guess this is the I would say, the realist in me.
Speaker 1: But also, unfortunately, when you're in business for thirty years
Speaker 1: and everything else, you've seen, you've seen some of the
Speaker 1: greatest of the humanity, but you've seen some of the worst.
Speaker 1: And I just I'm envisioning how many people are out
Speaker 1: there that are working every day. I mean, let's be honest,
Speaker 1: there's a stigma around the homeless. They're stinky, they're lazy,
Speaker 1: they're mentally sick, they want something for nothing. And again
Speaker 1: I'm saying the stigma right what I'm repeating absolutely, and
Speaker 1: when I'm working and paying my bills and taking care
Speaker 1: of my kids and build my house, note, Why do
Speaker 1: I want to take my one hour of lunch break
Speaker 1: to go sit down and eat with people who I
Speaker 1: feel that way about?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: So how does that work? How do you how do
Speaker 1: you get those people to do that?
Speaker 2: And how do they come in or why do they
Speaker 2: come back every day we have?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how does that work?
Speaker 2: Well, you need to come see the cafe.
Speaker 1: Well I can't, neither can everybody else listen, So you've
Speaker 1: got to tell them.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to tell you when we decide.
Speaker 1: Oh I can, I will come see the cafe. But
Speaker 1: you need to but all the thousands of people and sisters.
Speaker 2: Right, So what I'm going to tell you is that
Speaker 2: people will walk in the door. I had one guy
Speaker 2: who is a local singer. He does a lot in Europe,
Speaker 2: and he walked in one day. His wife brought him
Speaker 2: in or said, you know, you need to go in.
Speaker 2: His wife lives in Jackson. They live in Jackson, and
Speaker 2: he walked in and he got teary eyed and he said,
Speaker 2: did I take a wrong turn? Are we in Jackson, Tennessee?
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's not because I mean, I'm sixty three
Speaker 2: years old, so I'm not the hippus of people, you know,
Speaker 2: but it has got It's just it's a happy place.
Speaker 2: There's glass on two sides up front. Our logo at
Speaker 2: the bottom says to love, to feed, to dignify. It's bright,
Speaker 2: it's white. I've got great artwork. And one of the
Speaker 2: things that I said was I want people to feel
Speaker 2: like they're coming and having lunch or dinner at my house.
Speaker 2: So we will have glasses on the table, we will
Speaker 2: have salt and pepper shakers on the table. We'll eat
Speaker 2: on real plates, we'll have real forks, we'll have our
Speaker 2: lat weear wrapped in a napkin, you know, and just
Speaker 2: we'll have flowers or plants on the table, and we're
Speaker 2: gonna treat them like they're at home or at my house.
Speaker 1: I get it. That still doesn't answer how a guy
Speaker 1: in a suit and tie that's attorney downtown, YEP, wants
Speaker 1: to go to a place where he's gonna sit next
Speaker 1: to some.
Speaker 2: Homeless And you know what the really amazing thing is
Speaker 2: is that we've got six tables that are almost this length.
Speaker 2: We call them our community table.
Speaker 1: This length is probably eighteen people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, that's right, you mean the people listening can't
Speaker 2: see that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're at a large conference room table that's five
Speaker 1: feet wide eighteen feet Yes.
Speaker 2: So we've got five or six community tables that my
Speaker 2: husband built. We've got gorgeous furniture in there, handmade. My
Speaker 2: husband actually made all the tables in there, yep. And
Speaker 2: those tables fill up. We do also have some tables
Speaker 2: that are four tops that also fill up.
Speaker 1: But the point is the community tables fill up with
Speaker 1: homeless and non homeless eating right there together. That is
Speaker 1: so amazing, people know.
Speaker 2: I mean, the name of the cafe community came from
Speaker 2: coming to unity, and that was one of the things
Speaker 2: that we set out to be, was a bridge in
Speaker 2: the community between for lack of better words, the haves
Speaker 2: and the have nots, or you know, the Christian and
Speaker 2: the Muslim, the you know.
Speaker 1: Black and white, black and white, the Asian and Ethiopia Asian.
Speaker 2: I mean whatever, you know, different groups of people you
Speaker 2: can think of, and and it works, it really does.
Speaker 2: I mean my our regular customers, and when I say
Speaker 2: regular customers, I mean almost every day. We have one
Speaker 2: elderly couple that she had to drag her husband in,
Speaker 2: but I told her, I said, if you can drag
Speaker 2: him in, and this has probably been seven years ago.
Speaker 2: Said if you can drag him in, I'll feed him
Speaker 2: and he'll like our food.
Speaker 1: Tell me why didn't want to come, because no.
Speaker 2: He didn't want that healthy food.
Speaker 1: Oh, he didn't want that healthy food. He wanted fried chicken.
Speaker 1: This is the that's right. Yeah, okay, So anyway, she
Speaker 1: drug him in.
Speaker 2: She drug him in. He's been there every day since
Speaker 2: she went through a spell of cancer and was up
Speaker 2: at Vanderbilt for probably six or eight weeks. He still
Speaker 2: came in every day. The daughter was up there with
Speaker 2: the mom, and he came in every day and ate
Speaker 2: lunch with us.
Speaker 1: How many people a day are you serving? And what
Speaker 1: are your hours?
Speaker 2: We're only opened Monday through Friday eleven to two. We
Speaker 2: start taking volunteers, so you're open.
Speaker 1: It's lunch lunch, that's it.
Speaker 2: We used to do a brunch on Saturdays and that
Speaker 2: kind of went by the wayside. Just we have a
Speaker 2: real small staff, and it was wearing them.
Speaker 1: It makes sense. Yes, is your staff also your children?
Speaker 1: I bet your family works.
Speaker 2: There, right, They will volunteer there, So that's what I mean.
Speaker 1: They're all in and out.
Speaker 2: And when they were little you know ten years ago
Speaker 2: when we were starting to open the place. I mean
Speaker 2: they were down there with me, you know, putting in
Speaker 2: the Uree said yes, yes, I mean we we we
Speaker 2: stripped the floors in there. You know, we had this
Speaker 2: big old Sander thing, you knowing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so how many people do you serve?
Speaker 2: So we serve between you know, it was really weird
Speaker 2: there for a while. Seventy was a busy day when
Speaker 2: we first opened. It was one hundred and twenty a day,
Speaker 2: easy for year and a half, two years. Then I
Speaker 2: kind of think we weren't the new kid on the
Speaker 2: block any Yeah, yeah, we weren't the new kid on
Speaker 2: the block anymore. We are back to serving. Seventy is
Speaker 2: kind of a slow day. Yeah, it's more like eighty
Speaker 2: five to ninety five.
Speaker 1: Okay, well let's just say let's say eighty Okay, how
Speaker 1: many of the eighty I'm calling them. There's three tiers.
Speaker 1: There's the I got no money and got a volunteer tier.
Speaker 1: That's tier one. Tier two is I got some money,
Speaker 1: but not enough to help out anybody else. And then
Speaker 1: you got tier three, which is I'm gonna buy my
Speaker 1: food and pay over right, what percent is one two
Speaker 1: and three.
Speaker 2: Well, one percent has stayed. It's the craziest thing because
Speaker 2: it has been across the years. Twelve to fifteen percent.
Speaker 1: Twelve to fifteen percent of.
Speaker 2: Our customers are customers that are working exclusively for their meal,
Speaker 2: volunteering for their meal.
Speaker 1: And number two is I can only afford mind barely.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's not a huge number. I mean, I
Speaker 2: will have somebody come in and go, I've only got
Speaker 2: four dollars and I'm like, okay, order whatever you five percent?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So you're telling me about eighty percent of
Speaker 1: the people that eat in this place pay.
Speaker 2: Over their They pay at least And you know, when
Speaker 2: we were when we first opened, people were very generous.
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying they're not generous now.
Speaker 3: But.
Speaker 1: They would.
Speaker 2: It was kind of a new thing, and it was
Speaker 2: kind of like, Okay, here's an extra five bucks or
Speaker 2: here's an extra ten bucks. Most of the time now
Speaker 2: it is they will order two items, which we have
Speaker 2: a suggested donation because we just let people prices. We
Speaker 2: don't have prices on the menu, so people usually stand
Speaker 2: there and kind of look, I have no clue what
Speaker 2: to do here, and we'd go, well, we had we
Speaker 2: do have a suggested donation if you'd like to know
Speaker 2: what that is. It's seven dollars for one item, whether
Speaker 2: it be soup, salad, or sandwich, even though we all
Speaker 2: know that it doesn't cost seven dollars to make a
Speaker 2: bowl of soup. But you know, on the other hand,
Speaker 2: you get our sandwich, which we use Boar said, Deli meat,
Speaker 2: which is the best of the.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Yes, so one item seven dollars. Two items whether it
Speaker 2: be soup, salad or same it's salad is nine dollars,
Speaker 2: and three items is eleven dollars and that includes a beverage.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you that's cheap.
Speaker 2: It's cheap. And we've only raised our suggested donation one time.
Speaker 2: That one time. Yeah, we have worked really really hard
Speaker 2: during the last you know, two years to keep keep
Speaker 2: our costs, you know, at our donation prices.
Speaker 1: My expectation would be then that you'd get the underserved.
Speaker 1: The fifteen underserved must revere this place, I mean, they
Speaker 1: must really appreciate its existence.
Speaker 2: I think they really do. I think they really do.
Speaker 2: And like I said, we've had a couple that have,
Speaker 2: you know, come in and tried to take advantage of
Speaker 2: the situation. And we have one.
Speaker 1: Any anything you do to help out disadvanced communities, there's
Speaker 1: always going to be exactly an issue here and there.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's an parent to that kind of work.
Speaker 1: But if you let a couple of small issues interrupt
Speaker 1: the work you're doing for a much bigger issue, well,
Speaker 1: I mean that's expected. Yep, and move on, yep, get
Speaker 1: over it. Yep.
Speaker 2: And you know, at first, we really required people, even
Speaker 2: if they could only give us ten minutes or so,
Speaker 2: we basically required them to come in and show, you know,
Speaker 2: some effort in volunteering. We also have gotten to know
Speaker 2: that clientele. And like we have one elderly gentleman that
Speaker 2: comes in and he doesn't eat much anyways, and he'll
Speaker 2: come in and we see him coming and we'll, you know,
Speaker 2: my the chef will automatically just wrap up a sandwich
Speaker 2: for him and hand it to him. You know, there's
Speaker 2: just some out there that are not capable of working.
Speaker 1: Do you, boy, This may be a charged question, but
Speaker 1: I you know, just my just human. Do you ever
Speaker 1: worry that you're fostering in some people an unhealthy sense
Speaker 1: of entitlement to free food? No?
Speaker 2: I don't, because we don't do it that very often,
Speaker 2: and we do. I mean, you know of the twelve
Speaker 2: to fifteen percent, probably not even you know of the
Speaker 2: twelve to fifteen percent that come in and volunteer for
Speaker 2: that meal their meal, only one or two of them
Speaker 2: a week is actually a meal that we just hand out.
Speaker 1: That's phenomenal. And you know what, that's.
Speaker 2: Everybody's Yes, everybody's willing to work. I have a gentleman
Speaker 2: in a wheelchair. We've had several people in wheelchairs.
Speaker 1: People in wheelchairs. How does that work?
Speaker 2: It does, believe me, they have their wheelchairs. Well, they
Speaker 2: may be they may be not truly homeless, they may
Speaker 2: be is way sure right, and they'll come in and
Speaker 2: they all insist that they can do something. So we
Speaker 2: have order cards. We are real simple. We have an
Speaker 2: order card that is laminated and we purposely have kept
Speaker 2: those order cards because it creates a job for some
Speaker 2: of those that want to do something but aren't able
Speaker 2: to do any more than that.
Speaker 1: Well, then the flip side of the entitlement thing, which
Speaker 1: is the negative side that you could see, the positive
Speaker 1: side that you can see is it gives somebody a
Speaker 1: sense of dignity to be able to earn their food
Speaker 1: rather than stand in the line with a handout, which
Speaker 1: exactly the vast majority of people I found, they really
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. No, you're right, And this
Speaker 1: way they feel dignified it and what they're doing.
Speaker 2: And again that's in our logo to love, to feed,
Speaker 2: to dignify. And most of them will tell you that
Speaker 2: one of the reasons they keep coming back is one.
Speaker 2: They'll tell you it keeps me out of trouble. I'm
Speaker 2: off the street and the food's good, and the food's great.
Speaker 2: That's usually number one. The food's great, it keeps me
Speaker 2: off the street. And three, almost all of them have
Speaker 2: said at one time or another, it lets me give
Speaker 2: back to the community that is given to me.
Speaker 1: That is awesome. Yeah, and don't you think just a
Speaker 1: little bit of it is is to be able to
Speaker 1: go into a restaurant and be surrounded by people that
Speaker 1: treat them kindly as human beings is uplifting for their soul.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: They don't feel like losers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I will say I have never seen anybody,
Speaker 2: if anything, our paying customers have they They care more
Speaker 2: about the people that are coming to volunteer. If one
Speaker 2: of our volunteers hasn't shown up for a while. Somebody
Speaker 2: will come up to me and say, hey, what happened
Speaker 2: to Joe Wow? Or Hey what happened to so and so?
Speaker 1: Fun?
Speaker 2: They want to know what it really is?
Speaker 1: A community?
Speaker 2: It is a community.
Speaker 1: It is We'll be right back. I've hit on it
Speaker 1: a couple of times and and and I think it's
Speaker 1: I think candidly it's it's maybe because maybe I'm jaded
Speaker 1: about it, but you know, I continue to have this
Speaker 1: image of a banker and a suit, uh, and a
Speaker 1: lawyer and maybe an architect or people who we are,
Speaker 1: a doctor or nurse or someone we would think more
Speaker 1: from a professional setting sitting at a community table with
Speaker 1: some local homeless and how odd that really is. And
Speaker 1: when I when I, when I think a little more
Speaker 1: deeply about that, for more of a thirty thousand foot view,
Speaker 1: that is, uh, that's exactly what we really have become
Speaker 1: socially is polarized. Is that you know, the idea of
Speaker 1: a community where the blue collar, the white collar, and
Speaker 1: the middle income all go to school together and do
Speaker 1: things together politically, socially, religiously, we've just become so clannish
Speaker 1: and so polarized and so separated that it's just hard
Speaker 1: for me to even imagine this eclectic group of people
Speaker 1: sitting around eating lunch at community cafe. I think it's beautiful,
Speaker 1: but I guess, I guess I've been conditioned to think
Speaker 1: that that's just not something that would normally happen. Yet
Speaker 1: you're proving it is, and I just can't help but wonder.
Speaker 1: You're obviously very smart, and you have a worldview. You
Speaker 1: have children from three different continents. I've heard you say
Speaker 1: you're a Christian, but I've also heard you say that
Speaker 1: doesn't matter in the big scheme of things to who
Speaker 1: each of the cafe, So you obviously have a large worldview.
Speaker 1: What do you think it's us about your little cafe
Speaker 1: in Jackson, Tennessee, and who's dining together? And how a
Speaker 1: typical that is? What do you think what do you
Speaker 1: think is a greater social narrative regarding that?
Speaker 2: Gosh, I don't even know what to say about it,
Speaker 2: except that you know when you see it, and you
Speaker 2: know it's kind of weird, because you know, I'd like
Speaker 2: to say that when I see it, you know, people
Speaker 2: coming together, that it's not always obvious, but it's but
Speaker 2: it's pretty obvious. Yeah, and it's really obvious that that people,
Speaker 2: I think are you know. What I'm seeing is that
Speaker 2: people are really willing to sit and dine with somebody
Speaker 2: that they would not have maybe even crossed paths with,
Speaker 2: except in the cafe or out on the street. But
Speaker 2: the street's not always the best place, you know, it's hey,
Speaker 2: how are you today, you know whatever, But just to
Speaker 2: see people one of my volunteers sitting by himself, you know,
Speaker 2: waiting on his lunch to come, and maybe he's even
Speaker 2: planned on taking it with him to go, and somebody
Speaker 2: will come up and say, hey, can I join you
Speaker 2: for lunch at a big table? And other table empty,
Speaker 2: and then I also think of another uh, six or
Speaker 2: seven guys and guys and gals, an older couple that
Speaker 2: I'm not even sure they knew this man. But now
Speaker 2: if if they're all in the cafe together, they're all
Speaker 2: sitting together, they've all become friends. They all know that,
Speaker 2: you know, the first one to come in, they'll sit
Speaker 2: at the table, and they'll be sure that they sit
Speaker 2: at one of the big tables. So they are friends
Speaker 2: that they've made at the cafe that aren't anywhere.
Speaker 1: With people that are with the today's societal preconceived notion says,
Speaker 1: don't belong at.
Speaker 2: A table together, right, exactly exactly. An older a very
Speaker 2: wealthy retired couple, you know, a banker, a fellow that's
Speaker 2: living in uh subsidized housing.
Speaker 1: You know, it's just all sitting there, eating together.
Speaker 2: All sitting there, eating together and having deep conversation. Not
Speaker 2: just sitting there.
Speaker 1: They're sitting there saying hi, They're.
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly, I mean, having very deep conversation.
Speaker 1: Isn't it interesting that despite all the political and societal
Speaker 1: rhetoric that at the end of the day, what breaks
Speaker 1: it down there's a cup of.
Speaker 2: Soup, yeah, yeah, or a cup of coffee.
Speaker 1: A cup of coffee or solid yeah, it's it's it's phenomenal.
Speaker 1: And and if you think about it, I mean, you
Speaker 1: provide a place that's safe to.
Speaker 2: Do that, yeah, And that's yeah.
Speaker 1: And maybe that maybe the greater social narrative is part
Speaker 1: of our division and separation is because we don't have
Speaker 1: a safe place to exchange those ideas exactly and conversation.
Speaker 1: So I think so, so maybe we need to turn
Speaker 1: the Capitol Building into a big old community cafe in.
Speaker 2: DC why not?
Speaker 1: Why not?
Speaker 2: Or our libraries, you know, or are Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: I think about going into the library, and you know,
Speaker 2: because oftentimes, you know, people that are looking for shelter
Speaker 2: will go hang out in library. They're kind of over there,
Speaker 2: you know, and you don't want your children to go
Speaker 2: over there. Come on, children, let's go to the so
Speaker 2: But I think people are becoming I honestly do think that.
Speaker 2: I don't know since when, but I have seen that
Speaker 2: that people are more willing to actually engage and have
Speaker 2: a conversation.
Speaker 1: Yeah. That gives me some hope.
Speaker 2: And even a hard conversation. I mean, you know, I've
Speaker 2: heard conversations where I think of one gentleman in particular
Speaker 2: that comes in the cafe almost every day as a
Speaker 2: painting customer, that will sit and ask one of our homeless,
Speaker 2: truly homeless, how'd you end up? How'd you end up
Speaker 2: on the streets? And most of the time, you know,
Speaker 2: he's had a conversation or two with them, he's seen
Speaker 2: them over time, he's earned that right to actually delve
Speaker 2: into deeper conversation, and he doesn't feel afraid and therefore
Speaker 2: to ask those hard questions. And therefore that person doesn't feel,
Speaker 2: you know, afraid to tell or insulted, or afraid to say, well,
Speaker 2: you know, I made stupid choices.
Speaker 1: But the growth that comes from that, instead of looking
Speaker 1: a homeless person as a drag on society and looking
Speaker 1: at him as a human right and understanding their story. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know, pretty much all of us are a couple
Speaker 1: of mistakes away from being right there too.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, absolutely, And.
Speaker 1: To find a place that can serve them and give
Speaker 1: them dignity is beautiful. And I think it's so interesting
Speaker 1: that the eclectic collection of people sitting around a couple
Speaker 1: of soup having those conversas stations is so telling about
Speaker 1: what's missing in our society today. Yes, so I imagine with
Speaker 1: all the people that pass in and out of the
Speaker 1: doors of the cafe, there's there's ample opportunity for you
Speaker 1: to also mentor in the in the small way. I
Speaker 1: know you're not running a cafe and in a social
Speaker 1: work place, but it's ample opportunity. Have you been able
Speaker 1: to Have you been able to help some of the
Speaker 1: folks that are volunteers at the cafe to find steady
Speaker 1: employment and forever homes and things like that.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Most of the time, when I think about ones
Speaker 2: that we've helped out. It's usually been we we have
Speaker 2: in the past had social work interns from the colleges
Speaker 2: around and that's always a great well, that's it's incredible.
Speaker 2: I love having them. As a matter of fact, I'm
Speaker 2: just sitting here thinking I'm supposed to get in touch
Speaker 2: with somebody about getting one for January, so that I'm
Speaker 2: glad I'm here thinking about it. But we have had
Speaker 2: the good fortune to have some community service volunteers or
Speaker 2: some social work interns that have come in and set
Speaker 2: up programs just where they'll help somebody write a resume
Speaker 2: or fill out a job application, give them job skills.
Speaker 2: And I think of one fella, and it's been more
Speaker 2: than one, but I think of one fella in particular
Speaker 2: that has been volunteering probably since almost the beginning, that
Speaker 2: has had permanent employment. Now he's been let go from
Speaker 2: a couple of places, but he never has trouble finding
Speaker 2: a job and he probably has been working seven years.
Speaker 1: That's fantastic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know, I think of a couple other
Speaker 2: guys that I don't even see anymore because they don't.
Speaker 1: They I mean in the greatest sense, they don't need
Speaker 1: you exactly exactly. But that's but that's great news.
Speaker 2: Occasionally they'll pop in and say hey, but don't see
Speaker 2: them on a regular basis because most of the time
Speaker 2: they work, you know, they'll end up working nights at
Speaker 2: a factory or something like that and sweep from where
Speaker 2: they were exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: And that's another fantastic reward. Ye, amazing, they're In my
Speaker 1: experience coaching football, there have been highs, there have been lows.
Speaker 1: Thirty years of it, around thirty years of kids. There's
Speaker 1: always highs and us there's always excitement and sadness and
Speaker 1: everything else. And there are a few times that that
Speaker 1: just emotionally, I was so touched. Do you have you
Speaker 1: have a story from your time at community cafe that
Speaker 1: is just deeply emotionally touching to you, that that that
Speaker 1: kind of speaks to the depth of the cafe. Yeah.
Speaker 2: One in particular, there's two stories that I think of,
Speaker 2: and one one is very short. I'll share it. First.
Speaker 2: There was a young gentleman I'd never seen before. The
Speaker 2: Greyhound bus station used to be right across the street
Speaker 2: from us. It is now Dozy place. Yeah, it's really cool.
Speaker 2: But anyways, the bus station was right there. This fellow
Speaker 2: walked in the cafe and it was freezing. It was
Speaker 2: just a couple years ago, probably two years ago. Came
Speaker 2: in the cafe and he had on short sleeves and
Speaker 2: he had on blue jeans and tennis shoes and nothing.
Speaker 2: It was literally freezing. I mean it was probably twenty
Speaker 2: degrees at.
Speaker 1: I guess is he just got out of jail.
Speaker 2: He had just gotten out of jail, had been dropped.
Speaker 1: Let him out of jail without a jacket?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I know he paid his debt to
Speaker 1: society exactly, and I know society can't provide you a house.
Speaker 1: They're going to have your bus ticket and fifty bucks whatever.
Speaker 1: But at least a jacket when it's freezing outside.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and exactly. And you know, if nothing else, I mean,
Speaker 2: if if somebody can't pay for it, I mean, if
Speaker 2: the community can't or the government can't pay for a
Speaker 2: jacket or a sweater at least for these people, all
Speaker 2: they have to do is say, hey, let's you know,
Speaker 2: maybe that's something that somebody could start. I just had this.
Speaker 1: Idea exactly, jackets for felons.
Speaker 2: Jacket fellon, but seriously, why not? I mean I have
Speaker 2: people all the time that call and want to, you know,
Speaker 2: bring you know, clothing, jackets, jackets and hats and stuff
Speaker 2: like that. So why not.
Speaker 1: So this young man gets off.
Speaker 2: The he comes in and he is what community cafe
Speaker 2: is just right? Because I don't know if I don't
Speaker 2: know if the bus station was open. I guess it
Speaker 2: probably was, but he and I don't know if they're
Speaker 2: if maybe they weren't allowed to just you know, linger
Speaker 2: in the bus station. And he knew nothing about Jackson.
Speaker 2: He had come into Jackson for a party or something
Speaker 2: like that, or to visit a friend was at a party.
Speaker 2: I think probably got thrown in jail for public drunkenness,
Speaker 2: did his time, got out, was trying to head back
Speaker 2: to wherever he was from. I don't even remember where
Speaker 2: it was, and had on a red T shirt and
Speaker 2: blue jeans and tennis shoes and it was freezing out
Speaker 2: and he was sitting there and he said, can I
Speaker 2: have Can I have a cup of coffee? And I
Speaker 2: said absolutely, you can have a cup of coffee. I said,
Speaker 2: let me get you some coffee. And he said, what
Speaker 2: is this place? So I told him and he said,
Speaker 2: can I volunteer? And I said, I tell you what
Speaker 2: I said. You can volunteer, but not until we get
Speaker 2: you warmed up. And I went downstairs. It was one
Speaker 2: of those times that somebody had dropped off blankets and
Speaker 2: you know, stuff like that, which a lot of people
Speaker 2: will do, especially in the winter. And I went downstairs
Speaker 2: and dug through what we had and I got Hi
Speaker 2: my hat, and I got him gloves, and I got
Speaker 2: him a scarf, and I got him a jacket. I
Speaker 2: got him a blanket, and I wrapped him up. And
Speaker 2: he looked at me and he said, I haven't been
Speaker 2: treated like this since my grandmother died. And I thought
Speaker 2: I was going to lose it. I thought I was
Speaker 2: just going to open up and week right then. He
Speaker 2: was probably early thirties or so.
Speaker 1: You know, that means he hadn't felt.
Speaker 2: Loved exactly his grandma exactly.
Speaker 1: And did you tell him I'm not old enough to
Speaker 1: be your grandmother? Shut up?
Speaker 2: I did, Hey, Hey, are you telling me what yourandmother?
Speaker 1: That is the sweetest thing it did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really touched he was.
Speaker 1: He tearing up? Was he almost emotional just being yes?
Speaker 2: He was, Yes, he was very emotional. And he sat
Speaker 2: there and he got warm and he drank up of
Speaker 2: coffee and he had another cup of hot water, just
Speaker 2: holding it to keep it to get his hands warm,
Speaker 2: and and he said, okay, what can I do? And
Speaker 2: he went to work for about thirty forty minutes and
Speaker 2: I said, okay, it's time for you to eat. I said,
Speaker 2: your bus is going to be here in about forty
Speaker 2: five minutes. I said, you need you need to eat
Speaker 2: and get it get out of here. And when he
Speaker 2: got ready to go, he came up and he said,
Speaker 2: I'd really like to hug you. And I said, you're
Speaker 2: welcome to hug me. And I said, and I'd really
Speaker 2: like to pray for you. And you know, when people
Speaker 2: come into the cafe, they will frequently ask if we're
Speaker 2: a Christian ministry, or you know, if everybody in there's Christians.
Speaker 2: And I'm kind of like, well, why does that really matter?
Speaker 2: And I'll say, no, you know, not everyone in here
Speaker 2: is that I know that I know of, but my
Speaker 2: family and I, yeah, I were Christians, and you know,
Speaker 2: but it says it there on the door to love,
Speaker 2: to feed, to dignify, and that's what we're trying to do.
Speaker 2: And I had never felt called to pray for somebody,
Speaker 2: but I really am, truly felt the Holy Spirit saying
Speaker 2: you need to ask this man if you can pray
Speaker 2: for him. And I asked him. He said, I wish
Speaker 2: you would so Anyways, that was one and then the
Speaker 2: second time was one of the gentlemen that we had
Speaker 2: my family had gotten to know through Church without Walls
Speaker 2: before the cafe opened. Was kind of like the bad
Speaker 2: dude in downtown Jackson. His street name was Cadillac, and
Speaker 2: everybody was afraid of Cadillac. And everybody wanted to warn
Speaker 2: me about Cadillac. You know that guy that's back there
Speaker 2: washing your dishes. You know, you better watch out for him.
Speaker 2: He's a he's a snake, you know. And I was like,
Speaker 2: I've known Cadillac for about four years. Cadillac. If if
Speaker 2: I was down here, you know, one evening and left
Speaker 2: the cafe, if I was down here working, you know,
Speaker 2: and was leaving the cafe and got in trouble, Cadillac
Speaker 2: would probably come from, you know, out of nowhere like
Speaker 2: Superman to save you know me. He loved he was
Speaker 2: so attracted to my family that I know that man
Speaker 2: would have done anything for us. Well, he was going
Speaker 2: to get to go see his mother in Gary, Indiana,
Speaker 2: and was a person in Johnson, and yes, completely homeless.
Speaker 2: And I knew where he stayed a lot of the
Speaker 2: time because he would ask us if we could buy
Speaker 2: him some kerosene. I guess it is for a kerosene
Speaker 2: heater in the winter. And I'd say, well, you know Cadillac, like,
Speaker 2: I said, Well, we only called him Cadillac outside of
Speaker 2: the cafe. I told him, I said, you can't use
Speaker 2: your street name in here, so you can come on outside.
Speaker 2: No I never did that, but we didn't. We didn't.
Speaker 2: We don't allow them to use street names inside. So anyways,
Speaker 2: I just told him, I said, Kenneth, I said, you
Speaker 2: know I can. I can loan you some money for
Speaker 2: some kerosene, but I'm going to go buy it for you.
Speaker 2: You know, how's that sound? Because one, I don't I
Speaker 2: don't like to make a habit of just handygout money.
Speaker 2: Now bus passes will occasionally do and whatnot. But I said,
Speaker 2: I'll loan it to you. I said, but I need
Speaker 2: you back here, you know, on Friday, and you're going
Speaker 2: to help just close down or something like that. And
Speaker 2: he was like, okay, okay, I'll be more. Yes, that'd
Speaker 2: be great. So anyways, we and I knew where he'd
Speaker 2: stay because my husband would usually drop it off or oor,
Speaker 2: my older son would.
Speaker 1: Drop it off.
Speaker 2: So anyways, he was supposed to go to Gary, Indiana
Speaker 2: to see his mom one weekend. And this was on
Speaker 2: like a Wednesday, and he said, I really need some help,
Speaker 2: he said, I promise if you can help me, he said,
Speaker 2: And he said I need my medications refilled. And I said, well,
Speaker 2: yeah I can. And he wasn't asking me to pay
Speaker 2: for him because he got no. He it was just no.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't think that Kenneth really had any
Speaker 2: mental health issues. I just think he had he had
Speaker 2: just made a lot of really bad choices in his
Speaker 2: life and he would yeah, and he would tell you that,
Speaker 2: and he was probably in his fifties.
Speaker 1: Well, I was just wondering if the medicine was like lithium, right, yeah.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it was this blood pressure medication and something else.
Speaker 2: And he was using drugs. I mean, we knew that.
Speaker 2: And I had several times said Kenneth, you can't come
Speaker 2: in today. You know I can tell you've been using something. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he always understood, okay, okay, I'll be back tomorrow
Speaker 2: or something like that. So anyways, he asked me if
Speaker 2: I would get his medications refilled. He said, I just
Speaker 2: need a way to get him and I said sure.
Speaker 2: I said, give me you know your prescription, and I said,
Speaker 2: I'll get him refilled for you. I'll have him down
Speaker 2: here no later than Friday, I said, cause I know
Speaker 2: you're leaving Saturday or Sunday. We didn't come in on Thursday,
Speaker 2: which was really unusual, and then he didn't show up
Speaker 2: on Friday to pick up his medications. And then I
Speaker 2: was down at the Farmer's market downtown on Saturday and
Speaker 2: a friend of mine and I were, this sounds so mean, cruel,
Speaker 2: but I said, I haven't seen Kenneth lately. I hope
Speaker 2: he's not laying up there in his bed and can't
Speaker 2: get up. He's frozen to death or something. No way, Monday,
Speaker 2: he did not freeze to death. Monday, after I got
Speaker 2: home from the cafe, somebody called and said, have you
Speaker 2: seen Facebook, WBBJ or something like that, And I said no,
Speaker 2: what And they said Kenneth is missing And I said what?
Speaker 2: And I said, well, maybe he went on to his
Speaker 2: mom's and just didn't get and they said, no, Kenneth
Speaker 2: is missing, like his mom has called and said he
Speaker 2: was supposed to be at her house Sunday night and
Speaker 2: he's missing. So I hung up and or yeah, I
Speaker 2: hung up, and I called the police and I said,
Speaker 2: my understanding is that Kenneth is missing, and I know
Speaker 2: where he usually stayed, and he was dead. He had
Speaker 2: either odd or yeah. And you know, he was just
Speaker 2: kind of one of those guys in Jackson that you
Speaker 2: either loved him or you or you didn't necessarily loved him,
Speaker 2: but you liked him yeah, yeah, or you feared him,
Speaker 2: and you know, to our family was one of those,
Speaker 2: isn't it.
Speaker 1: Isn't it inevitable in this work, though, that you're going
Speaker 1: to have people, you're going to deal with some of those.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we've had, We've had We've had a couple,
Speaker 2: you know, of our volunteers that have passed away, and
Speaker 2: it's always it's it's very sad, but those those two.
Speaker 1: So I think it's hilarious that the homeless are not
Speaker 1: referred to as the freebies or whatever they're you're volunteers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are volunteers. Yeah, we don't we don't say, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: he's almost.
Speaker 1: You know, he's a volunteer.
Speaker 2: Volunteers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they can come in with dignity and not
Speaker 1: say I need a free mill. I'm here to volunteer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and went on through volunteering. You can feedbee amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they do. They come in and they say
Speaker 2: I'm here to volunteer.
Speaker 1: Which implies I need food. I'm here to eat, but
Speaker 1: I'm going to do my work for us.
Speaker 2: And by the way, we do also have community service volunteers,
Speaker 2: so we have people. Sure, kids from the need community
Speaker 2: service hours for school, you know, the whole that's school. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the whole community college group now has to volunteer eight
Speaker 2: at but but you're an.
Speaker 1: Approved place for them to get those hours, which is
Speaker 1: also very cool.
Speaker 2: I've also we've also had what are they called the
Speaker 2: whole seos or whatever from the schools and now you know,
Speaker 2: kids that are in a school or uh you know,
Speaker 2: or have been technically suspended from school. Yeah, they'll have
Speaker 2: their I'll have their Yeah. And it is so funny
Speaker 2: because they come in and they're almost always there for
Speaker 2: a week, sometimes longer, and they come in and they
Speaker 2: are mad, they did edgy be there. They hate you,
Speaker 2: they hate your food. They hate their mama is stupid. Yes,
Speaker 2: and I cannot tell you as a matter of fact,
Speaker 2: I can't tell you you of one that has left
Speaker 2: that place going this is the stupidest place I've ever seen.
Speaker 2: They come back and I'll say, now, look, I want
Speaker 2: to see you back, but I want to see you
Speaker 2: back on different terms, and they'll say, yes, ma'am, miss Amy,
Speaker 2: I'm going to behave. I'm going back to school and
Speaker 2: I'm going to behave and I'm going to come visit.
Speaker 2: And sometimes they do, they come back to visit. I
Speaker 2: love those. Yeah, those kind of things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll be right back. I mean, this is beautiful.
Speaker 1: But there is a you know, profits or necessary measure
Speaker 1: of any organization's success. And although you're a nonprofit, right
Speaker 1: you still have you have staff. Yeah, there's paid staff
Speaker 1: in the kitchen and all. So is there enough money
Speaker 1: coming in from revenue from the food to cover staff
Speaker 1: or do you also raise money?
Speaker 2: Well, we we do when we need to, really, yeah,
Speaker 2: we really do.
Speaker 1: So you run it to just cover the bills, cover staff,
Speaker 1: and get out of there. And if you're a little short,
Speaker 1: you'll go out to the community and say, hey, we
Speaker 1: need help, and how's the community to respond to that incredible.
Speaker 2: Two years after we opened, we kind of had a
Speaker 2: dry spell and I basically sent just hit it on Facebook.
Speaker 2: I could probably pull it up right now. It was
Speaker 2: probably two or three years into it, and I said, hey,
Speaker 2: I said, community cafe, friends and peeps. I said, you know,
Speaker 2: here's what's going on. You know, we need to keep
Speaker 2: the lights on, we need to keep buying food. We
Speaker 2: haven't seen you in a while, basically is what it said.
Speaker 2: I can't even remember.
Speaker 1: We don't get some revenue exactly.
Speaker 2: And I can write if I have some time to
Speaker 2: think of it, I must say I can, I can write.
Speaker 1: You get out there.
Speaker 2: So I did, and I just said, we need your help.
Speaker 2: This is not about keeping us in a job. This
Speaker 2: is not about I'm not.
Speaker 1: Making any money doing this.
Speaker 2: It's not about me exactly. It's about I said, this
Speaker 2: is your cafe. It's community cafe, the Jackson community. If
Speaker 2: you want to see these doors remain open, we need
Speaker 2: your help. And they came out and they helped. I
Speaker 2: had people that sent checks. I had businesses that sent checks.
Speaker 2: I had people that said, hey, I can't give any
Speaker 2: extra than more than a dollar or two per meal.
Speaker 2: But I'll do that, and I'll bring in friends. I
Speaker 2: had people that called and said or emailed and said,
Speaker 2: I'm a handyman, you know. So I had this whole
Speaker 2: list of people that were willing to say, if you
Speaker 2: need this, don't pay for it, let us let me know,
Speaker 2: and I can come and help you do this.
Speaker 1: And let's be reminded, as we're listening to you, this
Speaker 1: is in Jackson, In Jackson, Tennessee. We're not talking about
Speaker 1: a big city with a lot of people that deal
Speaker 1: with urban type problems. And I guess my point is,
Speaker 1: if you can pull this off in Jackson, oh yeah, anybody,
Speaker 1: it can be done anywhere with the right attitude, the
Speaker 1: right love, and the right afforc And let.
Speaker 2: Me tell you one of the best stories. And I
Speaker 2: think you're kind of trying to wrap this up, but
Speaker 2: one of the best stories is that twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: Actually I was going to ask you tell me one
Speaker 1: of your best.
Speaker 2: Stories twenty twenty. So interestingly enough, our soup kitchen closed
Speaker 2: the doors.
Speaker 1: Not your not not to Jackson had a soup kitchen
Speaker 1: for the underserved. And they why did they were?
Speaker 2: They were doing box meals, I think, and some you.
Speaker 1: Know, privately funded by church or something.
Speaker 2: Probably they get federal funding or.
Speaker 1: How does something gets federal funding? Close?
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe they don't get federal funding. I guess I
Speaker 2: shouldn't say that, but let's just say the closed.
Speaker 1: They didn't run out of money. What they run out
Speaker 1: of they didn't.
Speaker 2: They felt like they needed to be closed to the
Speaker 2: public during COVID, like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm missing I'm sorry during COVID. Yes, they
Speaker 1: which means there's people in your community. That's probably the meal.
Speaker 2: They get exactly or want to.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So anyways, and they also said, hey, can we send
Speaker 2: them down to you.
Speaker 1: We're closed, we can't stay open, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, go down the street. And they were again they
Speaker 2: were doing some boxes, box launch and bags of groceries
Speaker 2: and stuff like that. But when you think about it,
Speaker 2: that doesn't help the truly homeless because they don't have
Speaker 2: anywhere to prepare that food. So anyways, we closed for
Speaker 2: about only about three weeks to maybe five weeks at most,
Speaker 2: I can't even remember.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: We closed to dine in, but we set up in
Speaker 2: not outside in front, but just in the front of
Speaker 2: the cafe. We set up and had box lunches and
Speaker 2: anybody could come and get a box lunch. We were
Speaker 2: serving probably sixty people a day for free.
Speaker 1: We did the revenue for that.
Speaker 2: Well, yep, so we had people still coming in, you know,
Speaker 2: that were out and about. You know, it did everything
Speaker 2: shut down for a while, but we still had some
Speaker 2: that were at the courthouse in downtown and some of
Speaker 2: our regular customers that would drive down and go, hey,
Speaker 2: I want lunch, you know, and they'd come and they'd
Speaker 2: get lunch, and you know, they'd pay more than there's
Speaker 2: what their suggested donation was. But I also wrote a
Speaker 2: letter to businesses in the community, especially in downtown, and
Speaker 2: especially of our customers that I knew owned businesses that
Speaker 2: frequented the cafe, and I said, look, we're serving you know,
Speaker 2: sixty people a day that aren't paying and cannot pay
Speaker 2: a nickel for their lunch, that need to eat. We
Speaker 2: need to feed these people. We need some help. And
Speaker 2: again the Jackson community rose above and beyond and we
Speaker 2: made it through Covet. That is just so yeah, it was,
Speaker 2: It was really that was That was probably one of
Speaker 2: the highlights of yeah, of my time.
Speaker 1: But if you ever wondered about humanity, it restores your
Speaker 1: faith and if you have faith in humanity, it's a
Speaker 1: it's a reminder that you know, if you're doing things
Speaker 1: the right way and for the right reasons, and you
Speaker 1: simply ask help, often will come. Well, it's it's so
Speaker 1: called to think about when he opened all your kids,
Speaker 1: I guess, washing windows, washing dishes, and doing whatever the
Speaker 1: heck it is their mom told him.
Speaker 2: To do exactly. I'm not always liking it either, for sure.
Speaker 1: But sometime during the nine year process of this, you
Speaker 1: lost a child.
Speaker 2: We did, we did.
Speaker 1: And it was Cooper.
Speaker 2: It was right, yep, yep, it was Cooper. He was
Speaker 2: our second adopted from China, and Cooper was seventeen years old.
Speaker 1: And he'd worked in the restaurant.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, people knew Cooper. Yeah, people knew Cooper. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Cooper's teeny tiny, but Cooper had a huge personality. He
Speaker 2: used to tell. Some of his funniest lines were he
Speaker 2: used to tell my brother, who was single until after
Speaker 2: well shortly before Cooper died, he would tell Craig, my brother.
Speaker 2: He'd say, Craig, you got ain't girlfriends? And he'd say, no,
Speaker 2: he goes, you need to get on match dot com
Speaker 2: and get you a wife.
Speaker 1: How was he was Cooper.
Speaker 2: Ten probably at the time when he started that, and
Speaker 2: then he also loved country music. So you see this
Speaker 2: little Chinese fella singing country music at the top of
Speaker 2: his lungs. And he used to tell us that he
Speaker 2: was going to be the first Chinese country music store.
Speaker 1: You know. Political correctness almost says I'm not supposed to
Speaker 1: laugh about that, but yours mom and allowed to laugh
Speaker 1: about that is funny.
Speaker 2: Because we laughed about it. Oh, I can't even tell
Speaker 2: you that. The Cooper stories, I mean, there are so
Speaker 2: many Cooper stories. And when we all get together, like
Speaker 2: we were all together at Christmas this year, some of
Speaker 2: the stories that came out, yeah, just and some I
Speaker 2: was kind of like, oh, I really don't want to
Speaker 2: hear that.
Speaker 1: Want to hear that.
Speaker 2: I want to hear that. One we had a catwalk
Speaker 2: at our house and I found out just at our
Speaker 2: house in Jackson, and underneath on either side there was
Speaker 2: a den and a couch and they used to jump
Speaker 2: off the catwalk onto the couch when I was not there, yes,
Speaker 2: or when I was. Yeah, it's just crazy.
Speaker 1: Our kids did stupid stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And I was like, so Cooper, you know,
Speaker 2: We don't, honestly know. We really did not feel like
Speaker 2: Cooper took his own life. We did not know that
Speaker 2: Cooper had any inkling that you know, he was. We
Speaker 2: had no idea that he was unhappy. Cooper had been.
Speaker 2: Cooper was he had some learning difficult disabilities in school.
Speaker 2: So I do think that he kind of struggled with
Speaker 2: not yeah yeah, and not really feeling like he was
Speaker 2: as smart as his other brother that was only, you know,
Speaker 2: four months older than he is, Mike. He uh, he
Speaker 2: had homeschooled. He really kind of didn't fit in. He's
Speaker 2: one of the one of the reasons we moved out
Speaker 2: to uh Myland went to Gibson County School District. He
Speaker 2: and Leah needed something more than what they were being
Speaker 2: served in schools in Jackson, and he had homeschooled a
Speaker 2: couple times off and on. He actually did a homeschool
Speaker 2: class in the eighth grade that met in the upstairs
Speaker 2: of the cafe with three kids, and it was phenomenal.
Speaker 2: It was the most fun and it was probably the
Speaker 2: best year of Cooper's life. And he so many people
Speaker 2: at the cafe got to know Cooper from him being
Speaker 2: down there literally every day and got to know the
Speaker 2: true his personality and who he was, and just loved him.
Speaker 2: And he loved to fish and he would talk to
Speaker 2: you for hours on end about fishing. But he and
Speaker 2: Mike had been fighting, and I think I think Mike
Speaker 2: has moved on beyond, you know, feeling like, you know,
Speaker 2: maybe if I didn't fight with them, you know, maybe
Speaker 2: if it was a tough thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a tough bear. But there's so many you know,
Speaker 1: there's so much more deep seated things than an argument
Speaker 1: for somebody to go there, right.
Speaker 2: And I'll also say Cooper was on ADHD medication and
Speaker 2: I'm not blaming I'm not at all blaming any of
Speaker 2: the meditations or what. But he was on ADHD medication
Speaker 2: and he was also on growth hormones, and I kind
Speaker 2: of wonder if all of a sudden, all of that
Speaker 2: had kind of come together.
Speaker 1: He was seventeen, well combined with yeah, everything clicking. It
Speaker 1: a seventeen year old boy's mind and body, which is
Speaker 1: exactly utter chaos anybody exactly.
Speaker 2: But Jim and I had unfortunately just left for Italy
Speaker 2: for a two week vacation, and Mike and Cooper had
Speaker 2: kind of been at each other but it had calmed
Speaker 2: down and I thought everything was good. And actually when
Speaker 2: we left them, I gave him a big old hug
Speaker 2: and I said, hey, I said, you know, if you
Speaker 2: have any problems, I said, you can you can always
Speaker 2: email me, or you know, I've got service, you can
Speaker 2: text me. And I said, Cooper, I said, just be
Speaker 2: the bigger man. Just don't you know, just don't let
Speaker 2: him get to you, because I think that that was
Speaker 2: kind of you know, what happened sometimes was you know,
Speaker 2: they'd get arguing and one of them would say something
Speaker 2: and Cooper wore his feelings on his sleeve and he
Speaker 2: could definitely get injured pretty quick to the heart. So
Speaker 2: and he said, I will mind my will and we
Speaker 2: I think my understanding is that they went shopping the
Speaker 2: next day Sunday, they all went to Old Navy and
Speaker 2: had a big time and no tell him what was
Speaker 2: on my credit card. But anyways, I think it was
Speaker 2: Monday afternoon he got a little bit of trouble at school.
Speaker 2: He had was on he was actually emailing me on
Speaker 2: his not as iPad, whatever his little thing was. Because
Speaker 2: we kind of are those, you know, weird people that
Speaker 2: don't give her kids technology. You know, for a while.
Speaker 2: But he had some sort of I'm kidding, but he
Speaker 2: had some sort of you know, little whatever. Those things
Speaker 2: were called tablets, and he was emailing me during his
Speaker 2: resource time where he was supposed to be doing some
Speaker 2: extra studying and stuff. And he told his teacher, he said, well,
Speaker 2: I'm already done, that's why I'm on it. I'm just
Speaker 2: going to email my mom. And she said, Cooper, you
Speaker 2: know you can't be on that, you know, during class.
Speaker 2: Bring it up here. So he took it up there
Speaker 2: and he put it on the desk. So she went
Speaker 2: into the next room connecting room to help a student
Speaker 2: and he got it off her desk. So he got
Speaker 2: in trouble for that, and then he got mouthy, which
Speaker 2: Cooper could definitely get mouthy, and he got in trouble
Speaker 2: and he did not like that. He got in trouble
Speaker 2: and they asked him, I can't remember, I think they
Speaker 2: told him he was going to be suspended for a day.
Speaker 2: And the teacher walked him out to whoever we had
Speaker 2: a babysitter or a sitter, you know, for all the kids,
Speaker 2: and she walked the teacher walked him out and said,
Speaker 2: you know, Cooper, can't come to school tomorrow. You know,
Speaker 2: he's been in trouble. He was disrespectful and that just
Speaker 2: did it. I mean, he just I guess, we don't
Speaker 2: know what happened, but he wandered off on the property,
Speaker 2: said he was going for a while. We live on
Speaker 2: about eighty acres and they couldn't find him, and they
Speaker 2: got started getting a little worried as it started getting
Speaker 2: a little drizzly out and it was the end of
Speaker 2: October and was getting cool out, and you know, I
Speaker 2: got this call that he was missing, and I had
Speaker 2: we at the time still owned our house in Jackson,
Speaker 2: so we had somebody drive over the house in Jackson.
Speaker 2: Our older son had come over and you know, was
Speaker 2: helping look for him. The police apartment had been called.
Speaker 2: Long story short, they found that my our oldest son
Speaker 2: found him the next day and he had taken his
Speaker 2: own life. I'm so sorry, and well, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: As it begins to our story. Yeah that we're telling
Speaker 1: for you is we all struggle, We all deal with pain.
Speaker 1: And you've had this amazing life with these kids and
Speaker 1: this husband of yours and the two of you must
Speaker 1: be partners in crime to do what you've done creating
Speaker 1: the United Nations and Jackson and the amazing work with
Speaker 1: Community Cafe. But nobody's life is perfect and peaches and roses,
Speaker 1: and we all do with sadness and pain and difficulty,
Speaker 1: and that's just what makes us normal people. And this
Speaker 1: happened in the middle of you operating the cafe. It
Speaker 1: had to have. Did you ever question, do I want
Speaker 1: to keep doing this? I mean, was it? I mean,
Speaker 1: how do you persevere in the face of that?
Speaker 2: I guess is what I'm asking you.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I did take about a month off, and you know,
Speaker 2: I'll be very honest and say, there are still days that,
Speaker 2: you know, I get up and think I don't want
Speaker 2: to do anything. You know, I don't want to do anything,
Speaker 2: and and there were a lot of those days. But
Speaker 2: I also knew, and I'd always said that the cafe
Speaker 2: was my happy place. And even though I knew that
Speaker 2: first day back was gonna be really hard, my husband
Speaker 2: was absolutely fabulous. He had already said, when you're ready
Speaker 2: to go back, I'll go with you. You know, you
Speaker 2: don't have to go by yourself. I know that's gonna
Speaker 2: be hard, And and that was a really good thing
Speaker 2: because I think maybe he had already been down there,
Speaker 2: because a lot of times he would go, you know,
Speaker 2: he went back to work in the hospital is not
Speaker 2: very far from the cafe. May maybe he had been
Speaker 2: back for lunch. I'm pretty sure he had, because I
Speaker 2: think I remember him saying, so and so asked about
Speaker 2: you today. But the two of us went back together,
Speaker 2: you know, kind of as a united front, and you know, everybody,
Speaker 2: you know, no one. It was amazing because I just thought,
Speaker 2: I don't want people to feel like they can't say
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry to hear about Cooper, and you know.
Speaker 1: What do you say to a mom? Exactly that's so hard.
Speaker 1: Exactly everybody's dying inside for you, but they also don't
Speaker 1: want to say anything to hurt you, right, So the
Speaker 1: natural incondation is to just not say, not say anything.
Speaker 2: Except I think people have I think people in general,
Speaker 2: like across the board, have gotten much better at dealing
Speaker 2: with death and dying, and probably especially now after COVID,
Speaker 2: even though that was fre COVID. But I don't remember
Speaker 2: one person just you know, floating over it, not saying
Speaker 2: anything that that actually.
Speaker 1: Knew, and that was probably therapeutic.
Speaker 2: It was very therapeutic and it was again. I mean,
Speaker 2: I had for so many years said that the cafe
Speaker 2: was my happy place, that I needed to be back there.
Speaker 2: I like to tell people that I've.
Speaker 1: That amazing that it's called community cafe and it was
Speaker 1: your community too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll be right back, you know.
Speaker 2: I love to tell people that I am actually an
Speaker 2: extroverted introvert, and I truly am. I've got a daughter
Speaker 2: that is an extroverted introvert also meaning that, well you
Speaker 2: know what that means. I mean, I love people, and
Speaker 2: I love being with people, but I also love my
Speaker 2: own time. But I think I had had enough of
Speaker 2: my own time and it was time to put on
Speaker 2: my boots and put on my apron and head back.
Speaker 2: And you know, I knew that I eventually had to,
Speaker 2: you know, see everybody, And.
Speaker 1: So I mean, the reality is your life has to
Speaker 1: go on exactly. It's amazing. It's amazing that in the
Speaker 1: middle of all of this you had to endure such
Speaker 1: pain and heartache and persevered through it. But it is,
Speaker 1: unfortunately just part of a human beings narrative. We have setbacks,
Speaker 1: and we have painful, horrific, traumatic things, but it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean we stopped right.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, but you can't stop living. You
Speaker 2: can't just quit. And you know, unfortunately, I've known a
Speaker 2: couple of people that have have actually lost sons taking
Speaker 2: their own life since Cooper, and you know that that's
Speaker 2: my one thing is I never give advice, but if
Speaker 2: somebody says, how do you do it? You know, you
Speaker 2: just you have to keep moving, take that time, take
Speaker 2: that time to take care of yourself, you know. And
Speaker 2: I think, you know, I just relied on It was
Speaker 2: the Holy Spirit for me saying Okay, Amy, you know
Speaker 2: you're up, you're up and moving this morning. It's time
Speaker 2: for you to go back to the cafe. And that's
Speaker 2: basically what it was. It was just, you know, I
Speaker 2: just felt like, Okay, I can go and I need
Speaker 2: to go and and love my people.
Speaker 1: It's phenomenal, amazing, And you know.
Speaker 2: The best thing is is that people also know now
Speaker 2: that everybody knows that that, and everybody will want every
Speaker 2: once in a while, somebody will come up and say,
Speaker 2: I just thought about something that Cooper told me one time,
Speaker 2: and they'll share it with me. Cooper's teacher actually gave
Speaker 2: me his homeschool teacher from upstairs at the cafe one
Speaker 2: day said I have something for you, and she had
Speaker 2: found some of his papers, so she gave me his
Speaker 2: papers from school, and she also gave me in that
Speaker 2: little bag there was a fun sized candy bar, because
Speaker 2: he used to say, I'm not I'm not little, I'm
Speaker 2: just fun size, and he was. And then also for
Speaker 2: her birthday that year, So embarrassed to say this, but
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it, he dug through my supply of
Speaker 2: candles because he knew I loved candles and he thought
Speaker 2: she would love candles. Well, he didn't bother to check
Speaker 2: to be sure that the candle was a new candle,
Speaker 2: so he gave her candle.
Speaker 1: Hey, it's a thought the cats.
Speaker 2: So anyway, well, there you go.
Speaker 1: Cooper's legacy clearly lives on in you in the community cafe.
Speaker 1: It's an amazing story. So let's say somebody's listened to
Speaker 1: us and they think I want to do that in
Speaker 1: my neighborhood. How do they reach you and find out
Speaker 1: how to do it?
Speaker 2: They are more than welcome to call me at the cafe.
Speaker 2: That note it's seven three one, three hundred four six
Speaker 2: seventy four, and they are welcome to if they really
Speaker 2: want to touch base with me on my cell phone
Speaker 2: because I usually only go in on Thursday and Friday.
Speaker 2: Now I've got a great staff. They can talk to
Speaker 2: Tina or Austin and almost always they.
Speaker 1: Will about email you if they want to.
Speaker 2: They can email me. And I don't mind giving that out.
Speaker 2: That is because they can find it on the website.
Speaker 2: It's Community Cafe Jackson at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Perfect.
Speaker 2: But again, call come by see what we're all about
Speaker 2: to eighteen East Main Street in Jackson, Tennessee.
Speaker 1: Or if they don't want to open a cafe and
Speaker 1: they just feel called to serve about a thousand people,
Speaker 1: they can drop you a check in the mail.
Speaker 2: They can drop us a check in the mail, and
Speaker 2: we you know what. I never pretend like, oh, we're
Speaker 2: making it. It's going to be great, you know, because
Speaker 2: the guy that does my finances would be like me
Speaker 2: talking about I'm the one paying the bills. But yeah,
Speaker 2: so we've got I think on our Facebook page or
Speaker 2: on our website, Community Cafe Jackson, I think there's a
Speaker 2: donate mutton there. There's a donate mutton on our Facebook page.
Speaker 2: Our Facebook and our Instagram always has the menu. We
Speaker 2: love having out of town company come through and say hey,
Speaker 2: I just heard about you and wanted to come have lunch.
Speaker 1: It's an incredible story and you're an incredible person. And
Speaker 1: I want everybody to go back to the beginning of
Speaker 1: our conversation. If you can start a community cafe or
Speaker 1: some other name with a cool l acronym, but something
Speaker 1: like this with ten children driving around a twelve passenger
Speaker 1: van like a bus driver Walmart. If you can do.
Speaker 2: It, anybody can do it.
Speaker 1: Anybody really can do this and make a difference in
Speaker 1: so many people's lives. And it's just a perfect example
Speaker 1: of government proves woefully and inadequate helping the underserved and
Speaker 1: the homeless. But just a normal person in the middle
Speaker 1: of the community seeing a place of need and saying
Speaker 1: I can help, can make all the difference in the world, exactly.
Speaker 1: And the payoff is how enriched has your life out
Speaker 1: from itue?
Speaker 2: Absolutely and it has I think more than anything it
Speaker 2: has probably it has made our children who they are
Speaker 2: and who are who they are, becoming just kind, respectful,
Speaker 2: always wanting to.
Speaker 1: Help, probably really appreciative.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as you did. And yeah, it's just you know,
Speaker 2: shown them that somebody doesn't have to walk the same
Speaker 2: walk or look the same way, or you know, go
Speaker 2: to a certain school or certain church or whatever to
Speaker 2: be a friend. You know, and you can be a
Speaker 2: friend to anybody and you know, be there to help
Speaker 2: out when you're called to help out.
Speaker 1: So you and your husband Jim, right, Jim, You and
Speaker 1: your husband Jim have been the family you've built and
Speaker 1: the way you built it, and then for him to
Speaker 1: build the furniture and for you to do what you've
Speaker 1: done and involve your children and your entire family is
Speaker 1: a blessing for Jackson, and your story is a blessing
Speaker 1: for all of us listening. And maybe, just maybe somebody
Speaker 1: has heard this story and they thought, well, I only
Speaker 1: have two kids, I can do this, and Topeka absolutely
Speaker 1: or something else and will feel called to it, and
Speaker 1: they know how to get in touch with you now
Speaker 1: and Amy, it has been an absolute pleasure to share
Speaker 1: your story. And you, my friend, are absolutely a member
Speaker 1: of the army of normal folks.
Speaker 2: I'm glad to be a member of the army of
Speaker 2: normal folks. You, although I kind of think sometimes I'm
Speaker 2: not really very normal. Jim and I actually always talk
Speaker 2: about we're not normal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, the two kids and everything else is it.
Speaker 1: But you're also not some preordained politician or somebody else
Speaker 1: who's quote job it is to do this. You're just
Speaker 1: a normal person who saw a place to fill it
Speaker 1: and has done so in such a magnificent way, both
Speaker 1: in your family and your community. And I just can't
Speaker 1: thank you enough for joining me.
Speaker 2: It's been a fun ride. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: And thanks to all of you for joining us this week.
Speaker 1: If Amy or another guest has inspired you in general,
Speaker 1: or better yet, to take action by visiting community cafe
Speaker 1: or a similar cafe elsewhere, donating to them, or even
Speaker 1: starting one in your community, or something else entirely, please
Speaker 1: let me know. I'd love to hear about it. You
Speaker 1: can write me anytime at Bill atnormalfolks dot us. Guys.
Speaker 1: Just two days ago, I got an email from a
Speaker 1: guy in Florida who's been helping a guy in Haiti
Speaker 1: with an orphanage, and he was inspired by Luke Michelson's
Speaker 1: story that you might remember sleep in Heavenly Peace building
Speaker 1: beds for kids that don't have any, And now this
Speaker 1: guy who runs an orphanage in Haiti is now having
Speaker 1: the kids in his orphanage. Bill beds for other kids
Speaker 1: in Haiti who don't have bets. If that is not
Speaker 1: an unbelievable example of the power of an army of
Speaker 1: normal folks, I don't know what is even better yet.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have this gentleman from Haiti come on as
Speaker 1: a guest in the future and you're gonna get to
Speaker 1: hear about all his story, which started from Luke Michelson's story.
Speaker 1: See guys. An Army of normal folks is about building
Speaker 1: a community of people who build off one another. And
Speaker 1: if you hear about it, or you see it, or
Speaker 1: you want to be part of it, write me at
Speaker 1: Bill Atnormalfolks dot us. I promise you I'll respond, And
Speaker 1: if you enjoyed this episode, share it with friends that
Speaker 1: are on social subscribe to the podcast, rate and review
Speaker 1: it all the things that will continue to help us
Speaker 1: grow an army of normal folks. I'm Bill Courtney. I'll
Speaker 1: see you next week.