Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's teaming up with Rosetta Stone
Speaker 1: to teach North American children how to swear in over
Speaker 1: seventy different languages.
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, the only words I ever remember from
Speaker 2: any of my language classes.
Speaker 3: You can get it. It's called curse words for kids.
Speaker 3: Yeah right now?
Speaker 1: Up yours in Portuguese is the number one favorite for
Speaker 1: six year olds. He doesn't get off.
Speaker 2: Mommy and Daddy don't understand it right.
Speaker 1: Text your favorites into laser stories the segment or the
Speaker 1: weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does.
Speaker 1: Except we've got a laser. Those other bad mouth babies
Speaker 1: just don't. This first laser story is out of you, guess. Florida, Yes,
Speaker 1: Starting big, Starting strong. A man named Reza Balucci is
Speaker 1: a marathon runner. For the longest time had a dream.
Speaker 1: His goal was to someday run to London.
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, Bunny, A little problem with that.
Speaker 1: Florida and London have this kind of tiny little ocean
Speaker 1: between him lake.
Speaker 3: Ye, running there was.
Speaker 1: Almost impossible and I say almost cauz Well.
Speaker 3: He still tried it. Wo wow.
Speaker 1: He is now facing federal charges after the US Coast
Speaker 1: Guard caught him about seventy miles off the coast of
Speaker 1: Georgia in a homemade hydropod, which is kind of like
Speaker 1: a giant hamster wheel.
Speaker 2: Oh that's actually genius, though, I mean, this is one
Speaker 2: of those things where you have a dream and you
Speaker 2: were gonna make it happen, no matter how impossible people
Speaker 2: say it is being.
Speaker 3: Real liberal with the word genius.
Speaker 1: There Resa told officers to leave him alone and that
Speaker 1: he was getting closer to London every minute. Remember he's
Speaker 1: seventy miles away from Georgia.
Speaker 2: He just ran seventy miles though, right.
Speaker 1: The authorities responded by saying they were cutting short his
Speaker 1: unsafe voyage. Resident like that, yeah, So he then threatened
Speaker 1: to kill himself, claiming he had a bomb aboard.
Speaker 3: Instrum. I didn't bring food, but I brought a bomb
Speaker 3: that turned out to be fake. There was no bomb.
Speaker 3: Oh darn it.
Speaker 1: Anyways, This isn't the first time Resa has been caught
Speaker 1: in his weird water wheel. He's been apprehended at least
Speaker 1: three previous times, including two years ago when he was
Speaker 1: trying to make it from Florida.
Speaker 3: To New York. That time, he made it twenty five
Speaker 3: miles before washing back ashore, so he has almost tripled
Speaker 3: his first voyage. Keeping in the past. He said that
Speaker 3: he's never going to give up this insanity. I actually believe.
Speaker 1: As we're going to hear again from him very very
Speaker 1: soon in another laser story and.
Speaker 2: By the only one voting for hamster Man.
Speaker 3: You are he's not like forever. Let's go to your
Speaker 3: next laser story.
Speaker 1: Out of social media Central, a father shared a video
Speaker 1: on TikTok showing how his five year old son Basker,
Speaker 1: ordered almost one thousand dollars worth of stuff on Amazon Oh,
Speaker 1: just by asking Alexa.
Speaker 3: To have the items added to their carts.
Speaker 1: Most of it was toys, but Basker also asked for
Speaker 1: a hot tub and a five hundred dollars one got ordered.
Speaker 1: It could have been a lot worse because he was
Speaker 1: asking for multiple things like one hundred and twelve water slides,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and potentially expensive stuff like a wocket
Speaker 1: ship that goes five twillion miles per hour and five
Speaker 1: twillion feet.
Speaker 3: Off the ground. Jeff Bezos is like, we will deliver kid.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also good news.
Speaker 1: It sounds like the father did get a full refund oh,
Speaker 1: because he said he regrets not keeping the hot every
Speaker 1: single day.
Speaker 2: I mean, not only is it awesome, but as punishment,
Speaker 2: he doesn't let the kid get in, you know, or he.
Speaker 3: Makes it sit in that hot for two years. Okay,
Speaker 3: who's going to your next lazer story? Out of food News.
Speaker 1: If you're bored with your regular morning coffee, here's a
Speaker 1: weird new option. The company that makes Cup of Noodle
Speaker 1: just announced the debut of caffeinated ramen. Target market isn't
Speaker 1: necessarily the breakfast crowd, though. They're going after hungry gamers
Speaker 1: who stay up late playing video games.
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking college students have to finish their last
Speaker 2: minute paper.
Speaker 3: That could work, you know.
Speaker 1: They even put the word gaming into the product gaming
Speaker 1: Cup of Noodle that it's.
Speaker 2: All like rainbow colored with like lightning bolts on it.
Speaker 3: Can you just add caffeine to anything? Is that how
Speaker 3: caffeine works?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: There are two different flavors of it, a black pepper
Speaker 1: and garlic one and a ginger your curry version.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's good.
Speaker 1: Both sound good. It's not clear how much caffeine they're packing,
Speaker 1: but supposedly enough to give you a nice, big energy
Speaker 1: boost to keep.
Speaker 3: You alert all night. Both are going to be available
Speaker 3: September eighteenth. Look at that, Jeffrey.
Speaker 2: You could give up your five hours and just move
Speaker 2: to noodles. One.
Speaker 3: The thing is I have more food news.
Speaker 1: Oh, because Wendy's is doing it again, jumping into the
Speaker 1: giant falling leaf pile of beverages.
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, oh you you better tell me. It's a
Speaker 2: pumpkin spice frosty.
Speaker 1: We just reported about their hugely successful strawberry Frosty the
Speaker 1: summer for autumn, you're introducing just say it.
Speaker 3: Somebody calm down.
Speaker 1: Two new items to the menu, a brand new pumpkin
Speaker 1: Spice frosty and Pumpkins Spice frosty colds Brewers, you guys
Speaker 1: need to cut back on your caffeinated cup a noodle.
Speaker 3: Serious, Yeah, that looks like frofy heaven. You need to
Speaker 3: lead with this.
Speaker 1: This is amazing. Both are going to be available September twelfth,
Speaker 1: and good luck to Wendy's for not running out by
Speaker 1: the first day.
Speaker 2: That looks amazing.
Speaker 3: Honestly, you know what diabetes in my body. If you're listening,
Speaker 3: you better move over, because I mean.
Speaker 2: This is it.
Speaker 1: Your next Lazer story is out of research headquarters. Someone
Speaker 1: get Kevin Bacon on the horn for this no excuses.
Speaker 3: I say it.
Speaker 1: Because a real life study found that we all really
Speaker 1: do know someone who knows someone who knows someone who
Speaker 1: knows someone who knows someone who knows him.
Speaker 3: How many degrees is it?
Speaker 1: The six degrees, eight degrees, seven degrees, six degrees separation.
Speaker 1: That's the claim that anyone on Earth is no more
Speaker 1: than six social connections away from anybody else.
Speaker 2: No, I don't believe it would Beyonce. There's no way
Speaker 2: I'm only six degrees away from her. You're closer. Nobody's
Speaker 2: that close to Beyonce.
Speaker 1: A group of mathematicians just found that six really is
Speaker 1: the sweet spot.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 1: And they found every new friend you add comes with
Speaker 1: an upside and a downside. The upside is your social
Speaker 1: network grows, but at some point adding new friends weakens
Speaker 1: your other connections and your old friends will start falling away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, they're crying.
Speaker 1: In other words, there's an equilibrium. And they found the
Speaker 1: six degree pattern kept popping up. Like they say, it
Speaker 1: doesn't just apply to people, though, for example, it also
Speaker 1: works with viruses like COVID.
Speaker 2: Okay, that that was a bummer, Like, why do we
Speaker 2: gotta add likes.
Speaker 1: To within six infection cycles, a virus can cross the
Speaker 1: entire globe.
Speaker 3: Speaking of six infection.
Speaker 1: Cycles, he's getting pre treated, ladies, so you got nothing
Speaker 1: to worry about.
Speaker 3: It means Blazer Stories has come to an end for
Speaker 3: the day. We'll do it again at the same time
Speaker 3: on Monday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.