Speaker 1: It's either going to be the best hour or the
Speaker 1: worst hour of your life. But I'll tell you one thing,
Speaker 1: this podcast is very memorable.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're gonna create core memories coming out.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: We're starting to see a trend. It's broken Jeffrey in
Speaker 1: the Morning. Just like with Taylor Swift's Eras tour, where
Speaker 1: bedazzled cowboy hats and sparkly outfits with glitter boots were
Speaker 1: being sold out all over the country. Now Beyonce's having
Speaker 1: the same effect for her Renaissance World tour. Wow, but
Speaker 1: with the color silver.
Speaker 4: Yes, because she requested everyone to wear it.
Speaker 5: It looks so good and Bay, you do.
Speaker 4: When she says something, you follow.
Speaker 1: Whatever stadium Beyonce is performing at, she calls it the
Speaker 1: House of Chrome Yes, and that sent a lot of
Speaker 1: her fans scrambling on to Etsy and other places looking
Speaker 1: for shiny chrome or silver clothes that they could wear.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, I was in Zara the other
Speaker 4: day fully chromed out. You can find so much chrome there.
Speaker 1: You know what's up. Every city Queen Bay performs in silver,
Speaker 1: clothes are flying off the shells, being completely sold out,
Speaker 1: and apparently the number one item that people are buying
Speaker 1: up for it. Are silver folding fans? Oh good, call
Speaker 1: like the fan yourself during the show.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, well it's not really for like purpose. It's
Speaker 4: like for fashion pictures. Yeah, exactly. I was gonna bust
Speaker 4: on my Yeah, Jeffy, you're almost wearing silver right now,
Speaker 4: you're in all gray is one step away.
Speaker 1: I'm just really depressed right now, you're more like your Yeah.
Speaker 1: But Beyonce says she's been trying to surround herself with
Speaker 1: a human disco ball every night.
Speaker 4: God she dissolves it.
Speaker 1: But it is crazy to see, though, how artists nowadays
Speaker 1: have this type of crazy influence on national clothing.
Speaker 4: I had a friend who's down in Vegas see and
Speaker 4: Ed Sheeran over the weekend, and she texted me a picture.
Speaker 5: There's a crowd of thirty people in.
Speaker 4: Red haired and they're like, that's how you're showing that.
Speaker 1: A kind of mocking him, and it's like short, like
Speaker 1: we're all doing it. I guess I would like it
Speaker 1: if everybody showed up to one of our events wearing
Speaker 1: dog shock collars the whole audience, so we could all
Speaker 1: shock each other while listening to the shock collar question
Speaker 1: of the day. We're going to send it over to
Speaker 1: Digital Jake for our question.
Speaker 6: If you haven't checked your calendar, it's the thirteenth day
Speaker 6: of the month. Even though there's a lot of hubbub
Speaker 6: about the number thirteen being unlucky, you're actually in luck
Speaker 6: today because it happens to be Defy Superstition Day. Oh
Speaker 6: really right, So, rather than hiding from black cats, avoiding ladders,
Speaker 6: keeping Alexis away from many fragile, easily shattered mirrors before
Speaker 6: she's put on her fake eyelashes, We're going to stare
Speaker 6: down some of the strangest superstitions from around the world
Speaker 6: in a special one and done. Step on a crack,
Speaker 6: break your mama's back. There was plenty of room on
Speaker 6: that floating door from Titanic to fit both rows and
Speaker 6: jack Shot collared question of the day because they were
Speaker 6: gonna kick it off with you, all right. Knocking on
Speaker 6: wood is one of the world's oldest superstitions, where you
Speaker 6: tap on wood to gain protection from bad spirits. That's
Speaker 6: only in the Indo European, Celtic or British circles. In Italy,
Speaker 6: they do things a little differently to bring themselves luck.
Speaker 6: Which of these do they knock on is it a
Speaker 6: steal b bread or c tomatoes.
Speaker 1: Knock on bread?
Speaker 4: That's quite a list. How gross if like people just
Speaker 4: knock it on bread all the time, like, hey, I
Speaker 4: want to eat that and I don't know if you
Speaker 4: washed your hands made it stale old bread? Though?
Speaker 1: Is that how you checked the freshness of bread? Partially?
Speaker 1: Is you like you knock on it, you crack it?
Speaker 1: You see what it sounds like? Unlucky throw away.
Speaker 4: It'll be hard to knock on a tomato.
Speaker 2: I feel like both of these are just checking for freshness.
Speaker 2: Like I think it's just steel because of wood, and
Speaker 2: it's gonna be one of the food ones. And I'm
Speaker 2: gonna say with they gotta knock on the good fresh.
Speaker 1: Of bread, Jose said braid.
Speaker 6: That is they say touch steel rather than would because
Speaker 6: centuries ago metal was scarce and considered to be magical.
Speaker 1: Not gotten to the magic of steel.
Speaker 6: Or O for one, oh for two if you count
Speaker 6: that accent, Alexis, it's your turn. In Turkey, they're superstitious
Speaker 6: about what they put in their mouths. Once the sun
Speaker 6: goes down, according to that's one morning Alexis. According to
Speaker 6: the Turks, it can turn into the flesh of the dead.
Speaker 6: If you're not careful, what is it? Is it a
Speaker 6: hard candy, be gum? Or see a toothpick?
Speaker 4: Better not get food stuck in your teeth if.
Speaker 1: You have kept a toothpick really long in your mouth,
Speaker 1: though it does like get kind of weird.
Speaker 5: I could see like sundown, spin them out, you know,
Speaker 5: because you got toothpick and.
Speaker 4: Get it out of there. At night, I know I
Speaker 4: could see the candies.
Speaker 7: They tell kids that they don't eat candy, Like.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I'm sure candy like you said hard candy, That is incorrect.
Speaker 6: It was gum. Oh watch it in Turkey. No gum
Speaker 6: at night? Over to Brook. It's your turn. Like numbers,
Speaker 6: colors have a symbolic significance in many cultures, but be
Speaker 6: especially careful in Russia. To whom you give yellow flowers?
Speaker 6: What do they represent? Is it a death, be infidelity
Speaker 6: or separation? Or see a vodka shortage they ran out
Speaker 6: of vodkas.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's interesting yellow flower. You know here I mean friendship.
Speaker 4: So maybe it's like I'm disguising you as my friend,
Speaker 4: but really we're doing it on the side or something.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm pretty sure I've only seen yellow flowers at
Speaker 1: Russian funerals. In the secluded movie theater where I go
Speaker 1: that screens Russian documentaries, they showed lots of funerals there
Speaker 1: with yellow flowers.
Speaker 4: Interesting, I'm not gonna that is totally useless to me.
Speaker 1: It's talking about death. Okay, yellow flowers mean death?
Speaker 4: Was that one of the options.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm trying to help you.
Speaker 2: She's like, jeff I'm in the middle of work right now.
Speaker 4: Mean, white lilies are kind of the death flower here.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's yellow flowers there, let's go death.
Speaker 1: Brooks said death.
Speaker 6: That is infidelity. If you give someone yellow flowers, it
Speaker 6: means you're hoping the universe breaks up their relationship.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, might.
Speaker 7: Mean something else.
Speaker 4: Last time I.
Speaker 6: Listened to jeff zero for three, Jeffrey, you gotta get
Speaker 6: this one right to save the group. And not all
Speaker 6: superstitions are evil. However, in France, even doing something bad
Speaker 6: in just the right way can bring you good luck.
Speaker 6: Which of these is a real French superstition that could
Speaker 6: benefit you? Is it a breaking a mirror indoors keeps
Speaker 6: the good spirits in the house, be opening an umbrella
Speaker 6: in the bathroom protects you from depression or see stepping
Speaker 6: in dog poot with your left foot, not your right,
Speaker 6: but your left is good luck.
Speaker 1: Good luck.
Speaker 2: Has anyone won the lottery after stepping dog crap or something?
Speaker 8: I don't think so.
Speaker 4: The umbrella in the bathroom so specific. You got a
Speaker 4: whole umbrella stand in your bathroom. This person's got some issues.
Speaker 1: And there's breaking a mirror is good luck indoors because
Speaker 1: it keeps the good spirits in the house. I mean,
Speaker 1: the other ones are so outrageous. I think the only
Speaker 1: one that might make a little bit of sense is
Speaker 1: breaking a mirror indoors.
Speaker 6: Jeff said, breaking a mirror, that is, it's stepping in
Speaker 6: dog poop with your left foot, because the left side
Speaker 6: is typically considered unlucky. But when you can bind two
Speaker 6: unlucky things, good luck again.
Speaker 1: Well, everybody got their question about superstitions wrong today, so
Speaker 1: we're all going to get shocked. Somebody wanted to hear
Speaker 1: superstition by Stevie One very Superstition's.
Speaker 9: A shot collar question of the day frooking Jeffrey in
Speaker 9: the morning.
Speaker 1: Last night, I was doing my usual midnight stroll through
Speaker 1: a local park.
Speaker 4: I don't know why I'm not surprised by that.
Speaker 1: Okay, it just helps me, you know, clear my head.
Speaker 1: And I noticed something wedged in the crook of a tree.
Speaker 1: There was a little glass vial that sat on the front.
Speaker 1: Truth Serum, do not drink. Well, I just come from
Speaker 1: the circus performers tent, so obviously I was in desperate
Speaker 1: need of electrolytes.
Speaker 4: Wait, wait, completely the circus there, jeff.
Speaker 1: I needed some drink, so I drank it. Next thing
Speaker 1: I know, I'm back in that circus tent.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry to think the circus tent wasn't real time.
Speaker 1: It wasn't by choice, though. What does it all mean?
Speaker 4: But use a drinking fountain.
Speaker 1: But hopefully nobody asked me anything about the acrobat or
Speaker 1: the bearded man.
Speaker 4: Wait are you the bearded man?
Speaker 1: Well, it's supposed to be a woman fell for it again.
Speaker 1: It's so easy, non incriminating questions. Only please when we
Speaker 1: do a brand new what's on your mind? I don't
Speaker 1: want to see what happened, We don't want to know.
Speaker 1: Ask but the truth serum.
Speaker 9: It's coming up, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: This is a p s. A asking everyone to stop
Speaker 1: hating mondays. Okay, it's immature. It's time to be a professional,
Speaker 1: grow up and start hating the whole old dang week. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like the adults do. Yeah, that's where you're going. Let's
Speaker 1: all get into that head space during a brand new
Speaker 1: What's on your Mind? Starting with Brook, I hate it, Brook,
Speaker 1: What's on your Mound?
Speaker 4: I was going to cover Tuesdays but apparently did No.
Speaker 4: It was my anniversary, my wedding anniversary. Last week we
Speaker 4: had yet another very romantic date because first we could
Speaker 4: only find a babysitter for the daytime. All the we
Speaker 4: went through our whole rolodex and they were all busy.
Speaker 1: It's like you and your husband do a lot of
Speaker 1: like romantic stuff at night. This would be the one time, Jeff.
Speaker 5: But it's okay. I felt like we really salvaged it.
Speaker 4: We looked all online for the coolest thing to do
Speaker 4: in town and I was like, oh my gosh, there's
Speaker 4: a jazz walk festival.
Speaker 1: So did you say coolest thing in town?
Speaker 5: Cool jazz jazz music? I like, I love live music,
Speaker 5: so as my husband, I.
Speaker 4: Thought we could go have a drink. It'd be fine.
Speaker 9: Right.
Speaker 4: We drive down there and there is no signs, there
Speaker 4: are no people. It is very empty festival the jazz walk.
Speaker 5: Why we decide. I'm like, well, let's just park.
Speaker 4: We could find it, right, So we park, We start
Speaker 4: walking around. We finally find a sign. I'm like, yeah.
Speaker 5: Okay, we find a sign. Follow the sign.
Speaker 4: We end up at the Senior No Senior Center center.
Speaker 9: Walk up.
Speaker 1: There's too many people jazz.
Speaker 4: So we go and we are by far obviously the youngest,
Speaker 4: like by forty years like children. Yes, no romantic vibe.
Speaker 4: We can get a glass of wine, which is nice.
Speaker 4: Money goes to the Senior Center.
Speaker 10: Here you go, But then we can't leave because it's
Speaker 10: all these old people and there's not many of them.
Speaker 10: So if we stand up and leave, it's just it
Speaker 10: felt rude.
Speaker 4: It felt rude.
Speaker 9: Yea.
Speaker 4: When we do finally go, one of the older lovely
Speaker 4: grandmothers that were there asked us if we were shopping
Speaker 4: for our future?
Speaker 1: Oh and did you like the home? Was it?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yet no.
Speaker 1: Anniversary on your mind?
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of being shamed, not too long ago, Brook
Speaker 2: sent me a text saying quote, I think you could
Speaker 2: use this buddy with a link to a step counter bracelet.
Speaker 2: Then she felt bad because I said, hey, thanks for
Speaker 2: calling me.
Speaker 5: Fat Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: It's like, hey, fat boy, here go on a walk.
Speaker 4: By this all right, talking about how you need to
Speaker 4: go out and walk and you don't ever do it.
Speaker 4: We're trying to help motivate you.
Speaker 2: Then another friend of mine says, hey, man, how are
Speaker 2: you have you been to the doctor lately?
Speaker 6: One sentence that.
Speaker 1: Looks like a hou's the the what's the doctor saying
Speaker 1: about you?
Speaker 9: No?
Speaker 1: One just casually asked if you've been to the doctor.
Speaker 1: That to me, that's like a means they you're looking fat?
Speaker 1: You know, this is what I need to know. Do
Speaker 1: people in this room think that I've gained weight?
Speaker 2: Let's do a test.
Speaker 4: Two hands on my stomach, and I need you to
Speaker 4: tell me.
Speaker 1: Walking right up? You have to do it rolling.
Speaker 4: A good friend would put in her face I am
Speaker 4: not doing that.
Speaker 1: She could have put her hands on him, been like, wow.
Speaker 4: That's a You were not fat, you were immobile.
Speaker 5: You don't the question broke.
Speaker 4: You wanted to walk?
Speaker 1: Oh no, Well, it's just like when your girlfriend asked, like,
Speaker 1: does this dress make you look fat? Like nothing that
Speaker 1: you say is going to be good.
Speaker 2: Jeff, I can't get a girlfriend.
Speaker 6: I'm single.
Speaker 1: I'm glad Jodpace, what's been on your mind?
Speaker 4: I don't know if I could save this.
Speaker 5: I went back to my hometown where my parents live.
Speaker 7: Okay, last minute. I was just gonna, like low key
Speaker 7: see some friends. So I'm out to drinks with one
Speaker 7: of my friends and we get a text to come
Speaker 7: to this like location that another close friend of mine
Speaker 7: is at.
Speaker 4: We get there and it's a wedding after party. Oh wait,
Speaker 4: wait wait wait is it the reception or is it
Speaker 4: after the reception?
Speaker 7: Post reception? Wedding carried on? Okay, yes, but I don't
Speaker 7: know the bride and groom. I recognize like some people
Speaker 7: from high school in the room. Not super Yeah, I'm crashing,
Speaker 7: but I wasn't really invited to this, and it was
Speaker 7: Someone actually came up to me and said, you are
Speaker 7: the last person I expected to see here tonight.
Speaker 4: I wasn't invited.
Speaker 7: I went around all night explaining to people how I
Speaker 7: didn't want to be there, but I ended up there
Speaker 7: on accident, writing.
Speaker 4: Group like thanks lady, like a loser.
Speaker 9: I was just at home.
Speaker 5: You may try to make other people who are having
Speaker 5: their lives feel.
Speaker 7: Like showing face at home for a while, basically just
Speaker 7: to see.
Speaker 4: My close friend and get a drink. Okay, what's on
Speaker 4: your mind?
Speaker 1: You all know how I'm always on top of things,
Speaker 1: organizing and scheduling, planning ahead, none of that. Uh huh,
Speaker 1: Well then you're just the victims of it. Fine, but
Speaker 1: we are you. You only know who else was the
Speaker 1: victim of my poor planning. Recently, my dog bagel you.
Speaker 1: I know this is going to shock you, but I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that I was running out of his normal
Speaker 1: dog food.
Speaker 4: I can't believe you remember to feed him. That's pretty good.
Speaker 1: It should have occurred to me when the bag was
Speaker 1: almost empty. But no, slip my mind, I ran out.
Speaker 5: Oh boy, happened?
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, you know what, It's fine, I'll go
Speaker 1: to the store. I'll just get like a different but
Speaker 1: similar kind of one huge problem what because now it's
Speaker 1: totally ruined his digestive tract and I am the victim
Speaker 1: of bagels. Bagels. He is dropping them all over the house,
Speaker 1: like stomach everywhere, in the dining room and the kitchen,
Speaker 1: on the floor. He's gone in my bed. It's up
Speaker 1: against the wall sometimes like a roar. Stop it. He's
Speaker 1: trying to tell me he doesn't like the new.
Speaker 5: Food is hurt is a sensitive boy.
Speaker 1: And it's worst case scenario because the fancy dog food
Speaker 1: that I get him from Europe normally is two weeks late.
Speaker 1: So I am knee deep in bagels bagels at the moment.
Speaker 4: Okay, listen, you need to go with the bland diet.
Speaker 4: He needs chicken pumpkin, pumpkin pumpkin without any spice in it.
Speaker 4: You gotta make sure it's just pure pumpkin and brown.
Speaker 2: Rice until he gets his Scandinavian shipman.
Speaker 1: I am waiting for to get in the mall. I
Speaker 1: ain't et in pumpkin crap. Okay, I'll go to Starbucks
Speaker 1: and get them a ps. Anyway, that's what's on our mind.
Speaker 1: Text in seventy five nine to two tell us what's
Speaker 1: been on yours. Text into seventy five nine two says,
Speaker 1: what's in my mind? It's not a question we usually asked,
Speaker 1: but what's in my mind? Are you supposed to wash
Speaker 1: your backscratcher, especially after ten minutes of vigorous skin contact.
Speaker 5: Let's keep that.
Speaker 4: Let's keep that in the mind.
Speaker 1: Yes, just keep it there, or you can lick wash
Speaker 1: it clean. It's okay, it's his own body. It's not
Speaker 1: Another text says, why do they call them apartments when
Speaker 1: they're all stuck together? Come on, I give that person credit.
Speaker 4: I think they should be gatherments.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, let's just do one more.
Speaker 1: You guys deserve free muffins and more. Thanks for the
Speaker 1: last muffins for everybody.
Speaker 9: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: You ever opened up and talk about your dating life
Speaker 1: with a married person and for some reason they think
Speaker 1: the appropriate thing to say back to you is, oh,
Speaker 1: thank god, I don't have to date an Your life
Speaker 1: sounds horrible time. I'm so happy that I found love
Speaker 1: and I'm in a perfect happy marriage. To stoop down
Speaker 1: to the low low levels that you're at right.
Speaker 4: Every second day, you've all cut back on the wounds.
Speaker 9: It's weird.
Speaker 4: We hear that a.
Speaker 3: Lot around here.
Speaker 1: We do have several married people who work on this show,
Speaker 1: from Brook to digital Jake to editor Ashley, and even
Speaker 1: jose is legally married to his PlayStation. Oh okay, I
Speaker 1: was like, wait, I'm married. The wedding night did get
Speaker 1: weird though, No, no.
Speaker 5: No, I say that we got it.
Speaker 1: But brace yourself for the collective groans of oh I'm
Speaker 1: so happy I don't have to deal with this crap
Speaker 1: anymore when we hear nightmare dating stories and a brand
Speaker 1: new Battle of the Tender Dates that's coming up. That's
Speaker 1: seven ten, two.
Speaker 9: Hopeless theaters, one dating app. Then dares you swipe right?
Speaker 9: The question is whose love life is more tragic? It's
Speaker 9: Battle Love the Tender Dates.
Speaker 1: It's a dating game show that dresses like theanos on
Speaker 1: his profile claims he's twenty six, but really he's three
Speaker 1: thousand years old. Okay, you couldn't tell though. It's Battle
Speaker 1: of the Tender Dates. Yeah, where two of our listeners
Speaker 1: go ahead to head to find out whose dating life
Speaker 1: is the most tragic. Let's explain the rules in justice. Second. First,
Speaker 1: we got to meet today's contestants. In this corner, her
Speaker 1: secret to seducing men is seductively flaring her nostrils along
Speaker 1: to the beat of thriller. Oh, and that's why she's
Speaker 1: known as nasal Hazel.
Speaker 4: You're working those nostrils out, aren't you, Hazel.
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, it's hard to do.
Speaker 1: That's talent. But in the other corner, she'll let a
Speaker 1: guy know that she's really into him by memorizing his
Speaker 1: birthday and all sixteen digits of his credit card. Lisa,
Speaker 1: Lisa E.
Speaker 4: I've bet so many men fall in love with you.
Speaker 3: Every day, every day?
Speaker 4: Maybe illegal?
Speaker 1: Yeah, she has no credit limit, though he has. How
Speaker 1: the game works, one contestant is going to start by
Speaker 1: telling one of their worst dating stories than the other
Speaker 1: one try and counter with a nightmare story of their own.
Speaker 1: We're going back and forth for three rounds until we
Speaker 1: declare a winner. We're gonna start things off with nasal Hazel.
Speaker 11: Okay, So a guy came over to my place and
Speaker 11: I made it such recruiterie board. Wow, somehow he's never
Speaker 11: had before, like ever in his life. Oh, because he
Speaker 11: started seeing he couldn't stop talking about how much he
Speaker 11: loved it. Like this went on and on.
Speaker 1: And that's a compliment. That's a good thing.
Speaker 4: I had a thousand charcuterie boards and I still can't
Speaker 4: stop talking about how much I love them while I
Speaker 4: even then.
Speaker 1: And Lisa appreciates all your work.
Speaker 11: Yeah, well this one was apparently more amazing than me,
Speaker 11: because like I went to.
Speaker 12: The restroom after that, okay, and all.
Speaker 11: Of a sudden, I hear the door slam and I
Speaker 11: look out the window. He's leaving with my charcuterie board.
Speaker 1: He stole it, actual board.
Speaker 11: He just took everything, the board, the cheesus, everything.
Speaker 4: Oh I mean, but you sign that perfect blue. Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: with a little fig spread.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go off on cheesus for too long. Let's
Speaker 1: move on to Lisa. Lisa go.
Speaker 3: A guy asked if I wanted to watch the Barbie
Speaker 3: movie with him, you know, Green Flag Off.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3: I thought so too. He sent me his address to
Speaker 3: meet him, and I go inside and he has a
Speaker 3: puppet stand set up with Barbies.
Speaker 4: He's going to act it out.
Speaker 1: They're already doing the live action version out the whole movie.
Speaker 1: That's actually amazing, so some talent education for me.
Speaker 3: It was wild. I ran, I ran out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, don't spoil the ending for Yeah.
Speaker 1: All right around to Hazel, We're back to you.
Speaker 11: I don't know the guy. We talked about work on
Speaker 11: the day, especially my job. He seems super interested in it,
Speaker 11: to the point that I thought, okay, he has to
Speaker 11: be bored now right.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 11: Well, a week after our date, I get fired and
Speaker 11: get who they hired your lacy.
Speaker 4: No, no, he was doing research about the job position
Speaker 4: by Danny's scoundary hired him.
Speaker 11: It turns out we were in a summer field and
Speaker 11: after our hangout, he just contacted my boss instead. I
Speaker 11: bad mouthed him and took my job.
Speaker 10: Oh it's so diabolical.
Speaker 1: It's brilliant. That is a smart man. He deserves that job. Okay, Lisa,
Speaker 1: what do you got?
Speaker 3: Guy invited me to dinner at a friend's house. We
Speaker 3: go there, there's a group of people.
Speaker 8: There's a few kids.
Speaker 4: Don't tell me. This guy showed up with a charcooterie board.
Speaker 3: He was not terie guide. But okay, but about mid dinner,
Speaker 3: one of the kids comes running up and goes, daddy.
Speaker 9: Oh.
Speaker 5: You didn't realize he was a father before the day.
Speaker 3: No mention of any children. Oh my god, and says sorry,
Speaker 3: we're at my ex wife's house and these are my kids.
Speaker 4: Okay, I mean good that they have a working relationship.
Speaker 1: Okay. On our third final round stories, ladies start with you, Hazel.
Speaker 12: Okay.
Speaker 11: A guy from Tender picked me up for the date.
Speaker 11: He asked if we could stop by a birthday party
Speaker 11: first before we started the date.
Speaker 4: Like, hey, you mind dropping by for five minutes to
Speaker 4: see my friends just to say.
Speaker 11: Yeah, I said, okay. And we get to this ten
Speaker 11: year old nephew's house, right, it's his ten year old nephew.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 11: And as the family is singing blowing out candles, my
Speaker 11: date sneaks out to the present table and I catch
Speaker 11: him opening cards and like taking money out. He sees
Speaker 11: me watching him, and he holds up the cash and whispers,
Speaker 11: we got dreat money.
Speaker 4: The ten year old can't spend it at the bar,
Speaker 4: I mean some apple juices.
Speaker 1: So you dated a cheese thief, then a job thief,
Speaker 1: and then finally a money thief. Yes, all the thieves, Lisa,
Speaker 1: it's your last chance.
Speaker 13: All right.
Speaker 3: I actually went out with a guy as a plus
Speaker 3: one to a wedding. Oh wow, Yeah, it was fancy.
Speaker 3: Loved it well. Later at the reception, he asked if
Speaker 3: I could record him while he goes up to the bride.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking, maybe he's gonna do something sweet, beautiful, and
Speaker 3: I hold up the camera and no. He grabs a
Speaker 3: piece of cake and smashes it in her face. Who
Speaker 3: On top of that, he yelled, I'm not a wedding
Speaker 3: crash or I'm a wedding smusha.
Speaker 1: It is kind of funny.
Speaker 4: No, no, he.
Speaker 3: Was beaten up by a couple of guys and they
Speaker 3: escorted me out and asked me not to return, and
Speaker 3: then some face.
Speaker 1: We need to go to the scoreboard, flexus, who's your
Speaker 1: vote go to?
Speaker 7: So hard I'm gonna go Hazel because her charcootery board
Speaker 7: got taken.
Speaker 1: We got one for Hazel.
Speaker 4: Wedding smash Lisa, hands down, Jose, you're the final choice.
Speaker 1: I gotta go with Hazel.
Speaker 6: For feedback.
Speaker 1: Relations nasel Ham, you got one of the most tragic
Speaker 1: dating lives around.
Speaker 11: Awesome fu.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was Battle of the Tinder days. We got
Speaker 1: your phone tap coming.
Speaker 9: Up next, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: You ever feel like schools don't really teach you stuff
Speaker 1: you'll ever use in the real world. Yes, for sure,
Speaker 1: cursive writing, long division, what small coins are worth. I
Speaker 1: hadn't know what a nickel looks like. I'm only counting
Speaker 1: Benji's baby. Yeah, that's why today Brooke postes as an
Speaker 1: elementary school teacher trying to reassure a mom this year.
Speaker 1: They're not wasting any time on those useless subjects. They're
Speaker 1: cutting right to the important stuff in your phone tap
Speaker 1: Right now, it's another.
Speaker 9: Mornings on the twenties.
Speaker 4: Hello, Hi, is this Stacy?
Speaker 9: Hi? Does this she?
Speaker 4: This is missus Howell. I'm going to be eight and
Speaker 4: second grade teacher of the upcoming school year. Hi are you?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 4: I'm just great. It's so good to talk to you.
Speaker 4: You too.
Speaker 13: Aiden is so excited to get back to school and
Speaker 13: seet friends and get started again.
Speaker 4: That is so great. It's going to be a fun year.
Speaker 8: Good.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Anyway, I'm just calling all the parents because we're
Speaker 4: going to be doing things a little bit different, you know,
Speaker 4: at least for the first couple of weeks. Okay, I'm
Speaker 4: just going to stray from the normal curriculum.
Speaker 9: Oh you are why?
Speaker 8: What's going on?
Speaker 4: So over the summer, I've been doing a lot of
Speaker 4: research because of everything that happened.
Speaker 8: What do you what do you mean everything that happened?
Speaker 8: You know, I'm sorry, I'm not really sure what you're
Speaker 8: talking about.
Speaker 4: Well, we found out and out what aliens are real?
Speaker 1: That wonderful.
Speaker 8: I mean, I'm not really focused on that right now.
Speaker 4: I have been studying up learning everything about our intergalactic neighbors,
Speaker 4: and I just can't wait to share what I've learned
Speaker 4: with the children.
Speaker 8: What are you talking about?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're gonna jump right in on the very first day.
Speaker 4: Make sure Aiden packs a roll of tinfoil.
Speaker 8: Tinfoil, We're gonna.
Speaker 4: Make tinfoil hats and try to contact them boo, something
Speaker 4: like that.
Speaker 8: I'm hoping this is just like a fun little project
Speaker 8: that you're doing.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean, let's say the government was listening right now,
Speaker 4: I'd say absolutely, yeah, sure, fun harmless kid project. But
Speaker 4: we don't trust the government, do we.
Speaker 8: Okay, not anymore. I don't even know what to say
Speaker 8: right now, exactly, lock and key.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 4: So before we get into all the math and reading
Speaker 4: and writing, we're going to focus on area fifty one.
Speaker 8: Oh my god, I.
Speaker 4: Mean, what's really going on out there? Did Eisenhower authorize
Speaker 4: the testing?
Speaker 8: I think he might have, I.
Speaker 4: Do after reading the Peterson files, right.
Speaker 13: I don't even know Peterson.
Speaker 1: Oh, I've got so many links.
Speaker 4: Oh, I can send him right to something. You are
Speaker 4: going to go down this rabbit hole, change your life.
Speaker 4: We can become rabbit hole buddies.
Speaker 13: No, I don't know, no rabbit hole buddies. I don't
Speaker 13: think this is appropriate for second graders. I mean, has
Speaker 13: it been approved over the principal or the I would
Speaker 13: I'm not okay with that.
Speaker 4: I would have checked. But you know missus she teaches kindergarten. Yeah,
Speaker 4: she thinks the principle is one.
Speaker 12: Of them, one of whom aliens.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Okay, I don't mean to alarm you,
Speaker 4: but don't worry. I don't think he's harmful. If he
Speaker 4: wanted to hurt us, he would have done so already.
Speaker 13: Lady, lady, whatever you're on right now, you need to
Speaker 13: stop taking it. You're freaking me out, and you're gonna
Speaker 13: freak my kid out too.
Speaker 4: No, I don't know. You know who's on board with
Speaker 4: me is Ali? You know Ali? Your son has play
Speaker 4: dates with her boy? Otis what. She's a believer like us.
Speaker 13: Allie doesn't believe any of this stuff.
Speaker 8: A normal person.
Speaker 4: She thinks alien is real because she heard it on
Speaker 4: the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey. What the show that
Speaker 4: talks about aliens all the time, especially during their prank
Speaker 4: phone calls. Excuse me, it's a prank phone call. I'm
Speaker 4: not really your son's My name's Bragg. Your friend Ali
Speaker 4: set you up. She said, you heard that maybe the
Speaker 4: teachers are trying a different study method this year. I thought,
Speaker 4: why not skip math and reading and go straight to
Speaker 4: area fifty one.
Speaker 13: Oh my god, you freaked me out.
Speaker 4: Weren't you just a little bit curious about the links
Speaker 4: I've found.
Speaker 13: Though, No, because everybody is freaking crazy these days. All
Speaker 13: my favorite Instagram, No, everyone is nuts. I didn't think
Speaker 13: it would be the teacher though.
Speaker 4: That tinfoil hat is going to look so cute pinned
Speaker 4: up on your refrigerator.
Speaker 9: Wake up every morning was fu Tap weekday mornings on
Speaker 9: the Twenties Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 1: In the dating world, there's something to be said for persistence, Okay,
Speaker 1: not giving up on something or someone that you're really into.
Speaker 1: I mean eventually you'll wear them down to the point
Speaker 1: where they're like, fine, is that love?
Speaker 4: Is that what you?
Speaker 1: I mean, if a guy is trying so hard just
Speaker 1: for one date with you, it's flattering, a pity date.
Speaker 1: It's like most romantic comedies.
Speaker 4: In real life, like annoying and creepy, but sure, yeah.
Speaker 1: Just to see the romantic and One of our listeners
Speaker 1: was trying for months to lock down plans with an
Speaker 1: amazing woman that he met online. They never talked on
Speaker 1: the phone, but after weeks and weeks of staying in
Speaker 1: touch and shooting a shot, she finally gave him a
Speaker 1: chance and said yes, okay, and now after one dinner
Speaker 1: he might be out thousands of dollars. Okay, but how
Speaker 1: did that happen?
Speaker 6: Was it worth it?
Speaker 1: What? We're going to find out? All these answers and
Speaker 1: your bringing new second date update, next second date update,
Speaker 1: whether we want to admit it or not. Guys usually
Speaker 1: have a type when it comes to dating. Yes, maybe
Speaker 1: you're into brainy girls or sporty types, or ones with
Speaker 1: really large hands that can open the pickle jars that
Speaker 1: you can't.
Speaker 4: I want to meet that girl too.
Speaker 1: One of our listeners is back on with us today.
Speaker 1: He's actually been on the show before for a second date.
Speaker 1: Clearly he has a specific type that's kind of unusual.
Speaker 1: He's attracted to beautiful women. Oh, unattainably beautiful. Isn't that right, Zack?
Speaker 14: Unattainable for most?
Speaker 4: Not for me? Okay, yeah, and you're so humble.
Speaker 1: You say that. But last time you were on with us, Zach,
Speaker 1: you were trying to date a flight attendant for a
Speaker 1: private jet that your buddy's rented.
Speaker 4: This is not Zach, Can I remember that the.
Speaker 1: Girl didn't want to go out with you at the
Speaker 1: end of that, right, right?
Speaker 4: Is it like Jeffrey, Sorry, you're putting him in his place?
Speaker 4: I hear you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, you know we're here for you though, because
Speaker 1: apparently he's found a brand new, unattainable woman that he
Speaker 1: wants to track down.
Speaker 4: Who'd you meet this time?
Speaker 14: This beautiful girl named Taylor. I met her on not
Speaker 14: like the average dating at one of the higher and ones,
Speaker 14: you know. Let me actually pull up her bio so
Speaker 14: I can kind of fill you guys in.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 14: Yeah, it says she's looking for something real. Oh, doesn't
Speaker 14: always respond on the app, so feel free to DM
Speaker 14: me on IG okay, okay. And then she spends a
Speaker 14: lot of time in my hometown and in Vegas. I
Speaker 14: noticed she's a model. She models like she's wearing these
Speaker 14: fancy outfits riding horses, and those outfits are not made
Speaker 14: for riding horses. Let me tell you that.
Speaker 1: Okay, that sounds painful.
Speaker 4: It sounds like maybe a photo shoot.
Speaker 14: Yeah, I mean model? Right, Yeah, I feel.
Speaker 4: Like we're pretty far into this that we haven't quite
Speaker 4: gotten to her personality or like your connection.
Speaker 1: I mean, no one really cares about any of that broke?
Speaker 5: Yeah, she does. She cares very much about that.
Speaker 4: I mean she gets hit up non stop, probably by
Speaker 4: men looking for dates. Why did she go out with
Speaker 4: you out of everybody?
Speaker 1: Try not to take that as an insult.
Speaker 4: Okay, it sounds like she probably gets inundated.
Speaker 14: Well, to be honest, I really think it's my persistence.
Speaker 14: You know, like we've been chatting for a few months now.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, wow? Is she responding in those last in
Speaker 4: these last couple of months.
Speaker 14: Or she's responded like five to ten percent of the time.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Well she sounds like a busy woman. It's
Speaker 1: all the horseback modeling and takes a lot of time.
Speaker 4: How did you get to know her when she's responding
Speaker 4: so little?
Speaker 14: So we've actually met up?
Speaker 4: Oh you did?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 14: Yeah? I noticed she was back home the app lets
Speaker 14: you see the location?
Speaker 4: Oh that seems dangerous, just like when when you're in town.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you can.
Speaker 2: Tell updates, people will be like, this is a person's
Speaker 2: a mile away?
Speaker 1: Yeah, within five miles or something really bad?
Speaker 5: Where did you guys go?
Speaker 8: What did you do?
Speaker 14: So? I just sent her a text I was like
Speaker 14: made dinner reservations for two at this five star place.
Speaker 14: Would you like to go?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 14: And she was like yes, but I'm warning you I'm
Speaker 14: a little stressed out. And we sit down for dinner.
Speaker 14: Get this, she starts to cry.
Speaker 1: Oh, she's really sad.
Speaker 14: Yeah, And then I realized the reason she's been stressed
Speaker 14: out lately is because she doesn't have a car anymore.
Speaker 1: And do you know why don't you said anymore?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is it like gone or is in the shop?
Speaker 14: She didn't want to go in the detail. She was like,
Speaker 14: that doesn't matter. I just don't have one anymore.
Speaker 1: So I'm like God.
Speaker 14: She was explaining, like the reason she's stressed out is
Speaker 14: not just because she lost the cars, because she can't
Speaker 14: get to her shoes and it's affecting her career.
Speaker 4: That sucks. I am a little concerned about the next
Speaker 4: thing that happens.
Speaker 1: What happens.
Speaker 5: You guys don't see what shot and need something?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't see what she's setting him up for.
Speaker 1: Sounds like a nice lady, so you guys know where
Speaker 1: this is going.
Speaker 14: Basically told me she would like for me to help
Speaker 14: her well, to buy her a car.
Speaker 4: They can get this done.
Speaker 1: She didn't specify a new car. She just said a car.
Speaker 4: That's reasonable.
Speaker 14: Like, I'm not a simp. I'm not going to buy
Speaker 14: her a car birthday. I just let her borrow my
Speaker 14: mom's car.
Speaker 4: How long did she have it for?
Speaker 14: She's had it for a little over a week.
Speaker 4: She's had it, so she s.
Speaker 14: So that's the thing. This isn't just to get a
Speaker 14: second date. I need your help to get my mom's
Speaker 14: car back.
Speaker 1: What did you tell your mother?
Speaker 14: My mom's on break right now, she's not back for
Speaker 14: another few days. She didn't know.
Speaker 2: What did you tell her? Did you tell her it
Speaker 2: was your separate car? Did you say, oh, you can
Speaker 2: borrow my mom's car.
Speaker 14: I just told her I can arrange for a car, so.
Speaker 1: She thinks it's yours.
Speaker 9: Bro.
Speaker 4: Did you give her a time limit? Did you give
Speaker 4: her a time limit?
Speaker 14: She said it was just going to be a couple
Speaker 14: of days, and now it's in a week.
Speaker 4: Oh wait, does is the location thing on the app
Speaker 4: still working? Because now I think we do need to
Speaker 4: find her.
Speaker 14: I know what you guys are thinking and how it seems.
Speaker 14: But like we text back and forth quite a bit
Speaker 14: since our dinner, Like it's not that she stole it
Speaker 14: or anything. We're still in touch. It's just kind of
Speaker 14: good awkward to be like, YO, give me my car back.
Speaker 1: Thanks for putting the responsibility on us to get this
Speaker 1: done for you and your mom.
Speaker 2: By the way, the reason why this is weird the
Speaker 2: girls don't agree is because he looks good right now,
Speaker 2: like he doesn't want to blow it and say this
Speaker 2: wasn't my car.
Speaker 14: Yeah, you guys don't have to let her know it's
Speaker 14: my mom's car, Like, don't blow my cover.
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, all right, she doesn't look at the insurance.
Speaker 14: You guys don't have to worry about that. She already
Speaker 14: told me she's not much of a reader.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, we'll come back. We'll call beautiful Taylor
Speaker 1: for you, and we'll try and get you another date
Speaker 1: and hopefully get your mom's car back. Update right after
Speaker 1: this second date update today, we're trying to figure out
Speaker 1: where in the world his mom's borrowed car because he
Speaker 1: offered to let his date, Taylor, who's an Instagram model
Speaker 1: by the way, borrow it so that she could get
Speaker 1: to her photo shoots more easily.
Speaker 2: And I think she's more than an Instagram think she's
Speaker 2: like a real life model.
Speaker 1: They met over Instagram though, which is, you know, it's
Speaker 1: a very generous thing for him to do without his
Speaker 1: mom's permission. First, the problem is that was a week
Speaker 1: ago and Zach has not gotten the car back yet
Speaker 1: also wants another date with her too.
Speaker 4: I couldnt believe he was to go out again with her, So.
Speaker 1: The borderline fell in at this point.
Speaker 4: Situation he's the one that let her borrow. Is he's
Speaker 4: not doing anything wrong. He hasn't even asked for it
Speaker 4: back yet.
Speaker 1: The thing is that we've been so wrapped up with
Speaker 1: the car borrowing stuff we kind of got sidetracked from
Speaker 1: asking more about the actual date. In the time that
Speaker 1: they spent together, Like, Zacht, was there any like romantic?
Speaker 1: Was there a kiss at the end of the night
Speaker 1: or anything like that.
Speaker 14: I mean, obviously when I gave her the keys, she
Speaker 14: gave me a little kiss on the cheek, all the cheek,
Speaker 14: letting me use.
Speaker 4: You for your car kids. Yeah, yeah, that's it, Hey,
Speaker 4: you dummy, let me give you the kiss.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it was more romantic than that.
Speaker 14: All right, guys, come on, I don't like to kiss
Speaker 14: and tell. But like, it wasn't a quick one. She
Speaker 14: let it linger for a little bit.
Speaker 1: Cheek that I'm sorry. I think, really, what's happening here
Speaker 1: is the people in this room are jealous.
Speaker 4: So I wish I had my mom's car to drive around.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I watch I had a beautiful woman borrowing
Speaker 2: my parents' car.
Speaker 1: Alexis wishes that she had a guy that would let
Speaker 1: her drive their cars after she crashes all hers.
Speaker 14: Let me just say this, jealousy is the purest form
Speaker 14: of flattery. So from the bottom of my heart, thank
Speaker 14: you all so much.
Speaker 4: You know what, I'm sure it's gonna work out great.
Speaker 1: Where we're going into this with a lot of positivity.
Speaker 1: Let's call Taylor, try and get your mom's car back,
Speaker 1: and then also get you a date with this smoking
Speaker 1: hot girl.
Speaker 14: Okay, this is exciting. I haven't spoken to her since
Speaker 14: the date, so it's kind of cool.
Speaker 15: Oh, Claire, Hey, is this Taylor?
Speaker 12: Missus Taylor?
Speaker 1: Hey, Taylor, Taylor, I hope you're not driving right now.
Speaker 1: You're on a radio show with a team called Brook
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 12: I oh, I usually take the calls through my Oh no, we.
Speaker 1: Just want an interview please. You're the hottest model in
Speaker 1: the industry. Were not looking to book you for anything.
Speaker 1: But we did hear that you're a model from one
Speaker 1: of our listeners that you went on a date with recently.
Speaker 8: This isn't about hiring me for a job.
Speaker 4: No. Models are actually pretty useless in radio. Can't see much,
Speaker 4: you know, our listeners can't. Yeah, exactly, so your beautiful
Speaker 4: looks would be wasted here.
Speaker 1: What we're doing is something called a second date update.
Speaker 1: That's where we have listeners emailed the show if they're
Speaker 1: trying to get a hold of somebody they went out with.
Speaker 1: So you recently went out with a guy named Zach.
Speaker 12: I'm sorry, Wait, remind me who Zach is again.
Speaker 1: You went on a date with him about a week ago.
Speaker 4: He said that you were stressed out and you showed
Speaker 4: up and you were crying.
Speaker 12: Wait, give me more.
Speaker 1: Whoa you don't remember crying? You do that on all
Speaker 1: your dates?
Speaker 12: Heck, I mean, I just I look, I really don't
Speaker 12: have a whole lot of time. It has been very
Speaker 12: stressful for me lately. So I just We've heard that.
Speaker 1: Zach has a fleet of cars that he owns, and
Speaker 1: I think that you may be driving one of them.
Speaker 12: Yeah, no, I I believe that I do have a
Speaker 12: car of his.
Speaker 4: Okay, now we know who Zach is.
Speaker 11: Thoughts, Yeah, no, I still need this car.
Speaker 4: And then on the date, like what you thought of him,
Speaker 4: Like he's obviously a really like giving carrying dude to
Speaker 4: let you use one of his cars.
Speaker 8: No, he's he's great.
Speaker 12: Okay, this is anything else you needed?
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is way more challenging than I thought it
Speaker 1: was going to be. So maybe it would just be
Speaker 1: easier if we had Zach talk to you directly, because
Speaker 1: he's on the other line right now. I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk to you.
Speaker 14: Hi, Taylor, how's it going. How's the car?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 12: Hi, yeah, it's good.
Speaker 14: Good. If you ever get confus was about like any
Speaker 14: of the features? You know, I can always come over
Speaker 14: help out show.
Speaker 4: You like, I'm good.
Speaker 12: I'm just I'm sorry.
Speaker 8: I've been so busy, Like it's just like slammed over
Speaker 8: here for sure.
Speaker 12: I don't understand. Why didn't you just phone me right?
Speaker 12: Why are we dealing with a radio station? Like none
Speaker 12: of this makes any sense?
Speaker 14: Well, you know I've been texting you. They probably got
Speaker 14: lost in the cloud. I hadn't heard from you. These
Speaker 14: guys are actually my friends. They just happened to be
Speaker 14: really famous radio star so I was like, let me
Speaker 14: just get the homies and call you with them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Zach knows a lot of famous people.
Speaker 4: Yea, yeah, homies, what's up?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, Zach and I and us we all go
Speaker 4: way back.
Speaker 14: Way back.
Speaker 12: I mean, like I told them, this is just like
Speaker 12: been the worst week ever. And you know what, Actually,
Speaker 12: I'm glad you called because my last shoot, someone walked
Speaker 12: off with my bag and I loved that bag and
Speaker 12: all of my stuff in it. And I know this
Speaker 12: like really great place that does like an amazing discount
Speaker 12: on Louis.
Speaker 4: Oh no, what you need?
Speaker 1: Now she's asking you out of wait.
Speaker 12: Why are you involving yourself in this?
Speaker 14: Because you wouldn't come on. Guys. First, the car trouble
Speaker 14: that she had, and now her bag, that's like a
Speaker 14: lot for anyone to go through. Let's just try to
Speaker 14: be in her shoes, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, actually she likes the red bottoms.
Speaker 12: Look, I don't know what you guys are talking about.
Speaker 12: Almost all of my stuff is in Vegas right now.
Speaker 12: I'm like kind of stranded here, like I don't have
Speaker 12: any of my supplies, my bag is stolen, I have
Speaker 12: car trouble, like and you.
Speaker 3: Guys can like no pity.
Speaker 4: Zach said that you're from here, you don't have any
Speaker 4: friends or family to help you out. I mean this
Speaker 4: is a guy that you literally didn't know who we
Speaker 4: were talking about two minutes ago.
Speaker 14: She's just bad with names. I bet, guys, that's all
Speaker 14: it is.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, okay, you know what, I really don't have
Speaker 4: time for this.
Speaker 12: I am very stressed out. I've got a lot of
Speaker 12: my plate, so that are we doing the bag thing
Speaker 12: or not? Because my schedule is like super packed and
Speaker 12: I need to like figure out what's happening.
Speaker 14: Of course we're going to do the back. I apologize
Speaker 14: for these guys. They don't understand, you know, Like, guys,
Speaker 14: how expensive can luggage be? Like I inherited a lot
Speaker 14: of like bags from my dad, so maybe.
Speaker 4: You have what you could just borrow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like an old Samson I like from ten
Speaker 1: years ago.
Speaker 4: Leather side.
Speaker 12: I'm allergic to dust, so I really need new clean
Speaker 12: things in my life.
Speaker 1: Dusted the suitcase.
Speaker 4: It's weird.
Speaker 15: The car to me, I.
Speaker 4: Will say that it's not that bad of a trade
Speaker 4: if you get the car back and then buy here
Speaker 4: a bag.
Speaker 11: I mean, wait, I need this.
Speaker 12: I still need this car. I didn't say anything about
Speaker 12: giving a car back.
Speaker 9: What before?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: He might need it back, though.
Speaker 14: Taylor, Like, for real, I was thinking, like by Wednesday,
Speaker 14: the car should be back.
Speaker 8: Don't you have another car?
Speaker 3: I mean you came in a different car.
Speaker 14: I mean I got a fleet of cars. I don't
Speaker 14: know if you've heard my homie safe, but you know
Speaker 14: it's I need them best. You know, we could actually
Speaker 14: do dinner again too.
Speaker 13: Look, you really might need this car.
Speaker 12: I think it's a week two of the most.
Speaker 1: That's pretty simple, Zach. You could swing that right.
Speaker 14: Shoot, you know, yeah, obviously, honey, of course I could
Speaker 14: make that work for you.
Speaker 12: Oh god, Okay, don't listen to these losers.
Speaker 11: You're just sad.
Speaker 1: She's probably allergic to gift cards. They were in our
Speaker 1: in our prize closet. It's pretty dusty and dusty gift cards.
Speaker 14: Yeah so gift cards. I haven't used those in years,
Speaker 14: but I didn't even know they still made those things ever.
Speaker 1: Since you got that black card, you don't want to
Speaker 1: worry about it.
Speaker 4: Didn't get a second dates.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, so you got it. Sounds like you're gonna
Speaker 1: go out one more time, right, Taylor, we have that
Speaker 1: locked in I mean.
Speaker 12: The day may have to float depending on like my
Speaker 12: schedule and when I got four it keeps changing by
Speaker 12: the minute.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's understandable totally, but uh, you to work
Speaker 1: it out. I feel like this has been a success.
Speaker 1: We set out to find out where the car was,
Speaker 1: get them another date, and now we've done that, plus
Speaker 1: added a new luxury bag into the mix. Oh yay, okay.
Speaker 4: And for the first time ever, we don't got to
Speaker 4: pay for dinner.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Look, Jeffrey in the morning. You know, beautiful women
Speaker 1: get a bad rap?
Speaker 4: Did they? This last five minutes didn't help.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say that.
Speaker 1: Women have tough lives too. She's just lucky to find
Speaker 1: a compassionate, kind giving person like Zach to help rescue
Speaker 1: her from her squalor. Ye, you should all aspire to
Speaker 1: be more like him.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it proves that men are very trustworthy and
Speaker 4: not gullible or easy to manipulate it all.
Speaker 1: And look to anybody texting in right now saying oh,
Speaker 1: you guys are horrible. How could you let her take
Speaker 1: advantage of him?
Speaker 6: You want to stop that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Zach is a grown man who can make his
Speaker 1: own decisions, and he wants to do this. He is
Speaker 1: one hundred percent into her. It's not our position to
Speaker 1: tell him who to date who not to date. I
Speaker 1: feel like even if we.
Speaker 2: Read him the thousands of texts coming in saying run,
Speaker 2: he still wouldn't know.
Speaker 1: What are we to do? Do you love? And if
Speaker 1: you can't deal with him being happy, then maybe you
Speaker 1: need to look at yourself in the mind. Who can
Speaker 1: I convince to let me borrow their car?
Speaker 5: That's what it is.
Speaker 1: That's what it is.
Speaker 5: Sure the problem, We're the problem.
Speaker 1: But we can help fix you and all your problems
Speaker 1: if you email the showy.
Speaker 4: Or give Alexis your credit card number. Troubles, it's been
Speaker 4: really tough on me.
Speaker 1: Helping you in any way possible. Just email the show
Speaker 1: we'll call that person. Wasn't calling you back.
Speaker 9: Broken Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: It's broken Jeffrey in the morning. And I might remember
Speaker 1: a little while ago, the hashtag girl dinner went viral. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you didn't know, that's basically like any minimal effort meal.
Speaker 1: It's just an assembly of snacks a girl would happily
Speaker 1: eat for her dinner.
Speaker 4: For me, it's all cheese and bread. Yeah, just so
Speaker 4: you know, MS and cracker God.
Speaker 1: Ever since then, people have been trying to come up
Speaker 1: with other copycat hashtags of girl whatever. Okay, like we
Speaker 1: talked about girl math. Yeah, that's where women will just
Speaker 1: buy expensive stuff and then creatively explain how it's cheap
Speaker 1: or basically free.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you totally got a discount on that.
Speaker 1: Also, Hot Girl Walks, which was just women walking.
Speaker 4: You can anything, get it.
Speaker 2: If a hot girl to anything, I'm even more interested.
Speaker 2: Yeah that sounds great to me.
Speaker 1: Girl rob which is just where women stay in bed all.
Speaker 5: Day and do nothing, usually on Sundays.
Speaker 1: I mean, we are peaking as a society right now.
Speaker 4: Clearly, I feel like you're jealous.
Speaker 9: I'm not.
Speaker 4: You can bedrot too, It's fine.
Speaker 1: Well I don't need to give it a title. I
Speaker 1: just don't announce it to the like it's a movement.
Speaker 1: The latest girl trend, though, is probably the strangest. It's
Speaker 1: girl hammer.
Speaker 4: Has heard about.
Speaker 1: No, It's where women show off items that they've used
Speaker 1: as a hammer instead of an actual hammer, because the
Speaker 1: stereotype would be ladies don't own real tools, that's a
Speaker 1: guy thing. So women have to get creative when it
Speaker 1: comes to their handiwork.
Speaker 4: I've always owned tools. So I've only used a hammer
Speaker 4: as a hammer.
Speaker 1: You don't fit into this trend, then broke. The first
Speaker 1: video to go viral was a woman using her hair
Speaker 1: brush to pound in nails.
Speaker 4: Does that work?
Speaker 1: Apparently it did. After that, other ladies started being on
Speaker 1: showing off their girl hammers. They've used high heels to
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, I can see that on the heel.
Speaker 1: Forty out stainless steel water bottles.
Speaker 4: Okay, that actually.
Speaker 1: That's a girl sledgehammer there, kegs, I swear there's a
Speaker 1: can of beans, TV remote controls. Sometimes the items are
Speaker 1: more fragile or expensive, like we've seen people use snow
Speaker 1: globes their smartphones. One brilliant woman even used her own
Speaker 1: forehead as a hammer, which is a not a great idea.
Speaker 4: Can it change this from girl hammer to dumb hammer?
Speaker 4: This is really stupid.
Speaker 1: I can't believe we have to say this on the radio. Ladies,
Speaker 1: please don't use your heads as hammers.
Speaker 4: Give some tools, be respectful. It's just a disgrace.
Speaker 1: What other ways are women forwarding the cause for their
Speaker 1: own type? Maybe we'll learn something.
Speaker 4: I don't think that one helps Jeff, that one, you know,
Speaker 4: it's one of those two steps towards, one step.
Speaker 1: Back Right there, that was like twenty steps back, more
Speaker 1: steps back coming up in Lasersho girl, sorry girl stories,
Speaker 1: we'll do them next. It's the radio segment that's offering
Speaker 1: a new false special. If you meet him behind your
Speaker 1: local clinic, he'll give you fifty percent off of pumpkin
Speaker 1: spice colonoscopy. You get it in both eggs now it'll
Speaker 1: be smelling like on them for weeks. With Laser stories,
Speaker 1: fall Heart, the segment where we read weird news stories
Speaker 1: around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've
Speaker 1: got a laser and those other blokey pokey's just don't.
Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Crowley, Louisiana. Twenty
Speaker 1: six year old Chloe Barnswell was craving her favorite guilty
Speaker 1: fast food pleasure, which is none other than Taco Bell
Speaker 1: So good. Even though it was pretty windy out, she
Speaker 1: took her SuPAR roo a few miles away and got
Speaker 1: in line at the drive through. As she was sitting there,
Speaker 1: she noticed that the wind was getting stronger, and soon enough,
Speaker 1: Chloe found herself in a full blown storm.
Speaker 4: It's a tornado of tacos.
Speaker 1: That's when the unthinkable happened. As she was sitting in
Speaker 1: her car. The very large glowing Taco Bell sign on
Speaker 1: top of the building blew right off and landed right
Speaker 1: on top of Chloe's roof.
Speaker 4: Yea, is she okay?
Speaker 13: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Other bystanders tried to help, but Chloe was trapped inside.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So EMTs were on site pretty fast, and after some
Speaker 1: quick work by the fire department using the jaws of life,
Speaker 1: Chloe was freed from her Taco Bell prison and was
Speaker 1: sent to a nearby hospital, where doctors determined, miraculously she
Speaker 1: wasn't injured.
Speaker 4: Do you treat that as like a literal sign that
Speaker 4: maybe you need to cut back.
Speaker 1: That's when the local newspaper reporting on the events had
Speaker 1: this headline, Taco Bell almost kills lady with cravings.
Speaker 4: Ah yeah, I mean literally yeah.
Speaker 1: X Lazer stories out of Salt Lake City, Utah. Wouldn't
Speaker 1: it be great if you could park traffic like the
Speaker 1: Red Sea and get to work in like half the time?
Speaker 4: Dude, I'm always so jealous of the motorcycles that can
Speaker 4: cut lanes like split lanes like that, and like kind
Speaker 4: I'm too scared to ride on one of those, But
Speaker 4: it looks great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was happening to a thirty nine year old
Speaker 1: woman named Susan Bengo. She was driving around in her
Speaker 1: black Dodge Charger that she recently purchased at auction, and
Speaker 1: everywhere she went, people in front of her kept pulling
Speaker 1: over and just letting her pass.
Speaker 4: Whah, People like, sometimes I think a car is a
Speaker 4: cop behind me, you know, when it's not the time,
Speaker 4: you know, especially like any sort of white suv like that.
Speaker 1: That was kind of the idea at first glance. Maybe
Speaker 1: it kind of looked like she was driving a police car. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it didn't have any markings on it or any
Speaker 1: lights on her roof. So she was baffled till later
Speaker 1: that night she was watching the local news and right
Speaker 1: there on the screen was her exact car.
Speaker 4: What but her car?
Speaker 1: The video showed her making a less turn at a
Speaker 1: street light, and if you look close enough, you could
Speaker 1: actually see her in the window driving.
Speaker 4: What Someone took a video for her, and she's.
Speaker 1: On the news, and then the bad news. The Salt
Speaker 1: Lake City Police said, this woman is using her car
Speaker 1: to impersonate a police cruiser.
Speaker 4: But there's no minkeings. You said, I know that they'd
Speaker 4: drive chargers sometimes, but.
Speaker 1: Right, so it absolutely was not true. But she still
Speaker 1: went outside where her car was parked to do a
Speaker 1: full inspection, and that's when she found out whoever owned
Speaker 1: it before her had her fog lights modified from clear
Speaker 1: to red and blue.
Speaker 4: I think they're pretty big on a charger.
Speaker 1: When you make matters worse, they'd start flashing when you drove,
Speaker 1: so it absolutely looked like an unmarked cop car. Ins
Speaker 1: What do you do?
Speaker 5: Do you call and turned yourself interview?
Speaker 4: You go and drive the car into a lake and
Speaker 4: act like it wasn't you ever?
Speaker 1: Well, Susan could have faced charges for impersonating an officer,
Speaker 1: but she immediately turned herself in. Oh, and cops determined
Speaker 1: it really was just an innocent mistake.
Speaker 4: So no way, dude, I would have just changed the
Speaker 4: lights back to clear and act like I don't know
Speaker 4: what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: She already did get her lights removed.
Speaker 4: O go.
Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of Slothville. Did you
Speaker 1: spend last weekend just lying on the couch watching football?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yes, and yes. If so, you might be the perfect
Speaker 1: candidate for this next competition. It's happening in the village
Speaker 1: of Bresna, which is in southeastern Europe, and the town
Speaker 1: holds a bizarre annual contest where competitors hope to earn
Speaker 1: the coveted title of laziest Citizen. I can win it.
Speaker 1: You guys are my friends. I know you have faith.
Speaker 4: There's a town that takes pride in this.
Speaker 5: Jose move Media found your people.
Speaker 1: They've been doing this for the last twelve years. It
Speaker 1: started as a way to mock a myth that the
Speaker 1: village is just full of lazy people.
Speaker 4: Oh that's funny, So you're going to mock it by
Speaker 4: actually being lazy.
Speaker 1: Lean In this year, there's seven remaining contestants who've been
Speaker 1: lying down on mats for more than twenty straight days. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and counting twenty days, they've already smashed last year's record
Speaker 1: that was set of one hundred and seventeen straight hours.
Speaker 4: My man, you call the police department in that town,
Speaker 4: they're like, sorry, our one officer is actually he's not
Speaker 4: a mat right now, can't help you.
Speaker 1: The thing is, you can play on your phone or
Speaker 1: your laptop. You can eat, drink and read while you're
Speaker 1: doing this. Basically, you get everything you need to do
Speaker 1: to do absolutely nothing.
Speaker 4: Can you stand up ever in stretch or do any exercise?
Speaker 1: No, you have to be lying down, but you can
Speaker 1: do anything during that time. I feel like I do.
Speaker 2: This before a lazy weekend. I go to the store,
Speaker 2: I make sure I have food, I get toilet paper.
Speaker 5: Our bedpants sells through the room.
Speaker 1: In the thing is they get ten minute bathroom breaks,
Speaker 1: but those only happen every eight hours.
Speaker 9: So you got up hold it.
Speaker 1: There's no way I could do that. Last we heard
Speaker 1: they made it through twenty three days so far with
Speaker 1: no end in sight. Oh my god, and the winner
Speaker 1: gets about one thousand dollars plus bragging rights as the
Speaker 1: laziest citizen.
Speaker 4: Is Probably they're going I don't know if it's cute anymore.
Speaker 5: I think you've gone too far.
Speaker 4: Guys with the mocking jokes.
Speaker 1: You're famous. They walk around like, oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: the laziest citizen. Yeah, this next Lazer story is out
Speaker 1: of love town.
Speaker 2: I've been here in a while.
Speaker 1: Most of us have gone through this before. After a breakup.
Speaker 1: Is it better to start dating again right away or
Speaker 1: should you take some time to be alone?
Speaker 4: I mean, isn't dating and being alone kind of the
Speaker 4: same thing?
Speaker 9: You know?
Speaker 1: It might depend on how long you were together with
Speaker 1: that person, where you are in your life currently, but
Speaker 1: in general. A recent publication pulled thirty thousand people, and
Speaker 1: most said do not start dating right away, like, if
Speaker 1: you're serious, up is fine?
Speaker 5: Right, Like exactly, yeah, that's different.
Speaker 1: I mean invited over the polo team for the party.
Speaker 4: Sure you're not going to be serious? Yeah, exactly, thank
Speaker 4: you Jeffrey for understands.
Speaker 1: Seventy two percent said you should wait a while, while
Speaker 1: only nine percent say start dating immediately, and then eighteen
Speaker 1: percent said of course they aren't sure what.
Speaker 4: They all those eight percent to sign up for the
Speaker 4: next poll.
Speaker 1: Just ang, yeah right. Men are twice as likely as
Speaker 1: women to say just get back out there. Also, ten
Speaker 1: percent of us think new relationships that start right away
Speaker 1: tend to be more successful than the one you just
Speaker 1: got out of.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, hopefully you're taking a step.
Speaker 1: Up, but they can also help you forget about the
Speaker 1: person that you were just with and move on. Quicker
Speaker 1: read that.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, but again, that's hooking up right.
Speaker 1: Speaking of moving on, I gotta say I'm a little
Speaker 1: tired this morning because I had to deal with this
Speaker 1: guy on the phone last night. Turns out that Jimmy
Speaker 1: Chu broke his heart and stole his debit card. He's
Speaker 1: not sure if he'll ever get over it personally or financially.
Speaker 1: Wow boy, So if you know a rebok he can
Speaker 1: rebound with, hook him up. That Soundings, lays and Stories
Speaker 1: has come to an end for the day. We'll do
Speaker 1: it again, same time on Friday.
Speaker 9: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 1: Got another new player to the show. Her name is Lucy,
Speaker 1: and she works finances at a hospital and she likes
Speaker 1: everybody on our show, she says, but especially Brooke.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Why because she says, Brooke is a mom and so
Speaker 1: is she, And she also likes to drink some wine
Speaker 1: on her off Well, yeah, girl, hello mom drinkers. Why
Speaker 1: don't you guys talk?
Speaker 4: You made it a really awkward, jeff I feel like
Speaker 4: I'm on a first date with Lucy all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: or like we're doing speed dating together. Lucy. Yeah, it's
Speaker 4: obviously clearly hidden inside my coffee cup. Lucy, how many
Speaker 4: kids you got?
Speaker 3: Just one?
Speaker 4: Just one? And is it a good one?
Speaker 8: She's a great one.
Speaker 4: Oh, I love that when you luck out. Yeah, I
Speaker 4: got two great ones.
Speaker 8: Man, awesome double trouble.
Speaker 4: Yeah there you go.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I know, like my talk was weird. You're
Speaker 1: a sending Brook out of the studio. And while that happens, Lucy,
Speaker 1: you know how the game works. You got thirty seconds
Speaker 1: to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't
Speaker 1: know when, you can say past. But you have to
Speaker 1: beat her out right to win? Are you ready?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 1: All right, one last chance to chug your wine and
Speaker 1: then here we go. Your time starts now. Today is
Speaker 1: National Peanut Day? True or false? Mister peanut wears a tie?
Speaker 14: True?
Speaker 1: A hurdy gurdy is a what instrument, appliance or clothing.
Speaker 8: Instrument?
Speaker 1: In Which US state would you find the Everglades.
Speaker 9: Past?
Speaker 1: What fruit gets its name from the astechn word for testicle?
Speaker 12: Oh?
Speaker 1: New England? Clam chowder is white? What type of chowder
Speaker 1: is redd Island? All right, going Rhode Island? There, good work,
Speaker 1: Lucy Brooke is gonna come back into the studio and uh,
Speaker 1: the fun fact on here on my screen says that
Speaker 1: you have a nine year old daughter. So is there
Speaker 1: any other fun facts that we should know about you?
Speaker 4: I play sports? Oh? What do you play? Baseball?
Speaker 11: Baseball?
Speaker 1: Recreationally. Are you pro Oh?
Speaker 4: I wish she's like ever heard of me?
Speaker 1: My name is Aaron Judge. Yeah, hell lady.
Speaker 4: What position do you like to play? I was never
Speaker 4: very good with depth perception, as you can tell from
Speaker 4: the glass.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What did you play?
Speaker 4: Second base?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 1: A second base where like the bad players play.
Speaker 5: No, dude, double play.
Speaker 4: You need a good side arm to get that out
Speaker 4: at first. Come on, Jeffrey, I love second base.
Speaker 1: Brook. You're up, You're ready? Yeah, time starts now. Today
Speaker 1: is National Peanut Day. True or false? Mister peanut wears
Speaker 1: a tie?
Speaker 4: False?
Speaker 1: A hurdy gurdy is a what an instrument, appliance or clothing?
Speaker 9: Uh?
Speaker 4: Hurdy gurdy appliance?
Speaker 1: In Which US state would you find? The Everglades, Florida.
Speaker 1: What fruit gets its name from the Aztecan word for testicle?
Speaker 4: Come quiet?
Speaker 1: Of course? New England clam chowder is white? What type
Speaker 1: of chowder is red?
Speaker 4: Is that the Boston? Is that the red or the white?
Speaker 6: New England?
Speaker 1: Boston?
Speaker 9: Why?
Speaker 4: Think of the moment in ace Ventura when he's at
Speaker 4: the door and there's the secret passwords.
Speaker 1: The wine is definitely strong. This morning the scoreboard to
Speaker 1: see how you did with Jose when this.
Speaker 8: Baby hits heady eight miles pro here, you gotta see
Speaker 8: something serious.
Speaker 4: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Lucy, you got one correct today.
Speaker 4: Okay, you got.
Speaker 1: Loose one. You each got the number of kids that
Speaker 1: she had. You got to pop out some more kids. Okay, Lucy,
Speaker 1: play it again. Let's go over. The answer is it's
Speaker 1: National Peanut Day. Mister peanut wears a tie? No he
Speaker 1: does not, that's false. He has a monocle, a cane
Speaker 1: and a top half tie would be ridiculous.
Speaker 4: Jeffrey overkill.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a peanut. A hurdy gurdy is a type
Speaker 1: of instrument. It's a hand cranked stream instrument. The US
Speaker 1: state where you'd find the Everglades is Florida, specifically Southern Florida.
Speaker 1: The fruit that gets us name from the as tech
Speaker 1: In word for testicle is not come quant brook. It's avocado.
Speaker 1: New England clam chowder is white. The type of chowder
Speaker 1: that's red is Manhattan clam chowder.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's also New England. Why did you guys make
Speaker 4: fun of me for Boston? Manhattan is in New England?
Speaker 1: Well, I think like Boston and New New England typically.
Speaker 4: Sorry, they are like forty miles away from each other.
Speaker 1: Okay, well we almost got through a full game without Brooke,
Speaker 1: Braid or someone, so maybe next time. Lucy. We can't
Speaker 1: give you any money today, but just for playing, you
Speaker 1: do win a fifty dollars for a gift card.
Speaker 13: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's for a Bellevue Square you could chop for
Speaker 1: beauty in a space where all are welcome and what
Speaker 1: makes you unique is celebrated. Can't wait to see you
Speaker 1: at Sephora Bellevue Square.
Speaker 8: Good on.
Speaker 4: Thank you. You're gonna have to call back and try
Speaker 4: again sometime, Lucy, Okay.
Speaker 1: I will, all right. Thanks for playing.
Speaker 6: We'll be back to do it.
Speaker 1: Brooks Bok same time tomorrow, brook and Jeffrey in the morning.