Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm karn. We're sorry about last night the anti sluck
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey fucker's Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of Guys We Fucked. It's anti slutshaming podcast. I'm Karine,
Speaker 1: I'm Christina. What's up? Oh man, Toronto? You're cool. Damn Toronto,
Speaker 1: what a good city. That was real fun. We had
Speaker 1: a good time. You guys are out of your fucking minds.
Speaker 1: I had of your minds. People only like think like
Speaker 1: Americans are out of their minds and maybe some of
Speaker 1: like Latin countries. But then then I went to Toronto.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, you guys are out of your
Speaker 1: mind too. How do you think they were out of
Speaker 1: their minds? Just like, you know, very sweet party gals
Speaker 1: and boys. Yeah, a lot of swarming, Yeah, a lot
Speaker 1: of Oh my god, thank you for making us feel
Speaker 1: like Justin Bieber, because god damn did I feel like
Speaker 1: Justin Bieber. Yeah. Shout out to Rachel for making the
Speaker 1: cutest little book handmade books and let's listen up, ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen. Dude, Rachel, this is a great I love
Speaker 1: thoughtful gifts. She like made us each little customized packets
Speaker 1: of places we should go, food we should eat, and
Speaker 1: I ate at several lovely establishment. Yeah. That that Mexican
Speaker 1: place we went to. Yeah, Sneaky D's. I went to
Speaker 1: Alkatrin because Tommy and I were going to go anyway,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, well, now we've been recommended
Speaker 1: it twice, so yeah, we gotta go. It was fucking phenomenal.
Speaker 1: I took a three way date. Well we're going to
Speaker 1: go to Library Bar, but it was playing jazz music
Speaker 1: that Stephen couldn't be around because he's a music snob,
Speaker 1: and so we left. But but it was beautiful. That
Speaker 1: bar was beautiful. Does he not like jazz or the jazz? Bad? Enough?
Speaker 1: Bad jazz was? I even thought it was bad jazz,
Speaker 1: but I don't like jazz really in general. It's a
Speaker 1: beautiful It was a beautiful place and all the other
Speaker 1: stuff it was. So that was so thoughtful. I like
Speaker 1: that you just you just you just casually said we
Speaker 1: took a three wait. Yeah, I mean that's how I
Speaker 1: I wanted to know the impact that she has made. Um, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was that was amazing that I've never I think
Speaker 1: it was the first or second show at the Royal,
Speaker 1: which was like three people. We sold out all three shows. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got there and we're like, wow, this was I
Speaker 1: felt like a hundred and fifty seat theater. Did I
Speaker 1: And I was like loops um and we walked out.
Speaker 1: First of all, one of the people that attended the
Speaker 1: shows was like walking into the employees office and I
Speaker 1: was like no, no, no, sir, come over here. And
Speaker 1: he had a beer in his hand, and I didn't
Speaker 1: want the staff to the stuff. Was trying to get
Speaker 1: him out and he wouldn't go, so I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: and then he looks at me goes, whoa, hey Christina.
Speaker 1: I'm like, ya, get the funk out in the theater.
Speaker 1: And then when we walked outside, Steven and I walked outside,
Speaker 1: you would already been saying hi to people and then
Speaker 1: like the screaming girls and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: love you ladies. And then and then I started talking
Speaker 1: to people. But then I was like this is Steven,
Speaker 1: and everyone goes, yeah it was Steven. Steven was like
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Yeah, I hid Tommy and like in
Speaker 1: the back corner. But then some people recognize them and
Speaker 1: then I love when sometimes people think Tommy is James,
Speaker 1: and then another girl will inevitably go, uh no, that's
Speaker 1: her best friend Tommy. He's gay, and like they'll get
Speaker 1: very annoyed that they don't know the difference between Tommy
Speaker 1: and Ship. It's wonderful. Toronto is amazing. I went to
Speaker 1: a sex club and I got to give a shout
Speaker 1: out to Oasis Lounge because they have. First of all,
Speaker 1: we were playing one of those segments during our live
Speaker 1: Guys Effect Experience show, Um, we take half of a
Speaker 1: couple outside the theater where they can't hear. And this
Speaker 1: one girl had recommended to me that was like the
Speaker 1: fourth time I'd heard that club he brought up. So
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, well, on our free night, we're
Speaker 1: gonna go and uh and we got in. This lovely
Speaker 1: lady explained to us the rules. She was like, no
Speaker 1: one should be touching you unless you explicitly give them permission,
Speaker 1: and if that happens you contact one of something, we
Speaker 1: will kick them out. No one should be watching, like
Speaker 1: like standing over hovering over you, watching you unless you
Speaker 1: are okay with that and you give them I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of consent going on. I like it.
Speaker 1: And then we walked in and we weren't in our
Speaker 1: towels yet because there is a hot tub and a
Speaker 1: bathtub or not a bathtub, a pool, a heated pool
Speaker 1: in a hot tub, and uh, there's three levels. Was
Speaker 1: it clean, yes, so clean? There was no there was
Speaker 1: one of the rules was you can't fuck in the
Speaker 1: hot tub, but you can suck in the pool. I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, I was gonna say. I was like,
Speaker 1: I hope there wasn't hot because that's so um you
Speaker 1: I didn't suck and you get an infection in your
Speaker 1: vagina very easily fucking in water of any sort, but
Speaker 1: especially hotub because I think because of the heat. Really, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not good to do that. Yeah. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to sucking any I didn't really want to suck anywhere.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I really enjoyed it. It was the best.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is only my second sex club experience,
Speaker 1: but it was. It was really fun. The people there
Speaker 1: were amazing. There was young people, old people, like, all
Speaker 1: all races, all different types of couples. It was really awesome.
Speaker 1: And uh, I think where we went first was the
Speaker 1: hot tub, and I went and I just kept my
Speaker 1: underwear on, but you know you were allowed to. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And there was a girl in the hot tub. There
Speaker 1: was an older Indian couple that looked like my friend
Speaker 1: from middle school's parents. Like they just reminded me of
Speaker 1: them so much, and they just they were just looking
Speaker 1: around like this is new okay, and uh, they were
Speaker 1: really sweet looking. And then there was this girl across
Speaker 1: from us from Stephen and I and uh, she was
Speaker 1: just on some kind of drug. I think she was
Speaker 1: just going and going about stories about her mom and
Speaker 1: stories about and then all of a sudden it just
Speaker 1: got this. Everyone just went really silent. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, you know when you're in an elevator and
Speaker 1: like no one's talking, it's kind of like that, but
Speaker 1: we're all making it a hot tub guys, right, guys.
Speaker 1: I just try to make jokes. Who No one laughed,
Speaker 1: not a single one where people having sex actively that
Speaker 1: you saw not in the pools. And then went to
Speaker 1: the pool and I was just in a pool naked.
Speaker 1: I was so proud of myself. I was very comfortable. Fun.
Speaker 1: It was so much fun with people my parents age,
Speaker 1: with people that like eighteen would be like just there
Speaker 1: was all kinds of people and we're all naked in
Speaker 1: this pool, and I was like, look at us, guys.
Speaker 1: And then we were having fun and then we wanted
Speaker 1: to go back to the to the hotel room because
Speaker 1: it was it wasn't sexy, but it was really fun
Speaker 1: and it felt debaucherous, but not in a turn me
Speaker 1: it turns me on kind of way. And we were
Speaker 1: in the locker room co ed. Obviously we're all naked
Speaker 1: in front of each other anyway, so we don't need it,
Speaker 1: we don't need to separate. And I was getting my
Speaker 1: clothes on and there was just this this guy, this
Speaker 1: naked guy with his with his penis out. You know.
Speaker 1: It wasn't it was. It was flaccid and people. He
Speaker 1: was standing near the entrance of the locker room and
Speaker 1: he just up going sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry mate, sorry sorry?
Speaker 1: What was he He was just saying sorry because people
Speaker 1: kept running into him and he was like sorry, so
Speaker 1: and then everyone in Canada that stereotype that everyone's very
Speaker 1: polite is true, at least in the sex club locker room,
Speaker 1: and everyone was just going bumping into each other was sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: sorry sorry. It was funny. I felt like it was
Speaker 1: an episode of Zidefeld. Oh my god, Yeah, it was amazing,
Speaker 1: it was fun. I had a good time in Toronto.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's not Toronto. Oh my god, we're gonna get
Speaker 1: an email. It's not Toronto. It's Toronto. I mean it's
Speaker 1: spelled Toronto. But then anyone who hears us say that
Speaker 1: says it's like nails down a chalkboard. Well, I had
Speaker 1: a similar Um, I had a similar weekend. I found
Speaker 1: a zip in my pussy lip so the same thing.
Speaker 1: So it's almost on par you know. I would say,
Speaker 1: you can get apparently and it's a z you know that.
Speaker 1: Thankful I Over my course of my life, I've gotten
Speaker 1: maybe like five sits in there because there's a lot
Speaker 1: of moisture down there. Um And uh yeah, well I
Speaker 1: was just because I'm always constantly making sure everything is
Speaker 1: down there. There's no guan. Yeah, and you know, because
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, cancerous thing just year around.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I gotta take a razor bird
Speaker 1: as her face. Yeah. No, I felt like I feel
Speaker 1: like I feel like a good, good, good one. I
Speaker 1: feel like a pressure there and I was like, gods,
Speaker 1: it's really like opening up my vagina like looking around,
Speaker 1: looking around him, and then I was like, this is
Speaker 1: a bump and this is red. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: let me just let this bump sit for a day
Speaker 1: and see, we don't want to go crazy, We don't
Speaker 1: want to make calls. We don't need to so Obamacare
Speaker 1: if he doesn't need to be bothered. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: Obama sleep. Then the next day it had like a
Speaker 1: little head. I was like, Oh, it's just as it
Speaker 1: Isn't that great, guys, guys, it's just as it. So
Speaker 1: maybe don't be a hypochondrix. Sometimes it's just as it
Speaker 1: in your pussy. But then sometimes it's cancer. So this
Speaker 1: is this is my Tom Green moments. He said, you
Speaker 1: did not suffer well physically before he had you know,
Speaker 1: when he in the stage where he was just feeling
Speaker 1: his balls. Just feel around your pussy, you mean to
Speaker 1: cancer is bump in your vagina? Like, well, I mean
Speaker 1: it probably would be skin cancer. But you can get
Speaker 1: cancer anywhere. Can skin cancer in your pussy? There's skin
Speaker 1: there is they're not you're not the sun. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: people who never are in the sun gets skin cancer,
Speaker 1: that's true. People get lung cancer who have never smoked. Yeah,
Speaker 1: breaking bad Hello. Sorry if I ruined that for anyone,
Speaker 1: everyone dies at the end, I'm just gonna watched it already.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm the press watching not everyone dies, I
Speaker 1: figured not. But um alright, so so that that was fun.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Toronto. Um oh, well, okay, this
Speaker 1: is this is the order of things that happened for me.
Speaker 1: I watched Audrey and Daisy on Netflix. It's a documentary.
Speaker 1: If you've been talking about it, you know someone who
Speaker 1: has a Netflix password, make them give you their information
Speaker 1: and watch this movie. And the people you know are
Speaker 1: not us, So don't ask. I don't ask us because
Speaker 1: I'm actually borrowing my Netflix password from my roommates mom.
Speaker 1: So like I'm boring from my mom. Um only five
Speaker 1: devices at the time. Guys. Um, but I watched that movie.
Speaker 1: I knew I was gonna be mad. It's about rape
Speaker 1: and how our justice system does not handle sexual assault.
Speaker 1: I didn't finish it yet, so don't ruin it does
Speaker 1: everyone everyone gets raped? It ends happy? Oh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: very happy, happy ending. Well, you know, it was just
Speaker 1: it was not giving anything away. You're gonna get mad
Speaker 1: when you watch it. But you need to watch it.
Speaker 1: You need to get mad. I was mad five minutes in.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I was mad before I watched it at
Speaker 1: the trailer. Um. And it follows two women. One committed
Speaker 1: suicide because she was raped and no one believed her spoilt.
Speaker 1: It's that's in the trailer. I don't care it does,
Speaker 1: that doesn't matter. It's also in the news. I knew
Speaker 1: about a couple of these incidents before the documentary came out.
Speaker 1: And then another woman, young woman, did not commit suicide.
Speaker 1: She was she was raped in then by her brother's
Speaker 1: friends and dropped They dropped her off on her parents
Speaker 1: front lawn and like twenty degree weather and she almost
Speaker 1: died of of being out in the cold and took Yeah,
Speaker 1: they the hospital and the sheriff in this person's town. Um,
Speaker 1: he wanted to handle the case very swiftly and looking
Speaker 1: started the investigation very early, and then by the end
Speaker 1: of the investigation he was saying, like the worst things
Speaker 1: I have ever I like loved him at first, and
Speaker 1: then I hated him more than I ever hated anybody. UM.
Speaker 1: That means it's a good film because they made you
Speaker 1: feel all the feelings about someone. They really did. I mean,
Speaker 1: I was crying the whole time. But uh, but it's
Speaker 1: just like, you know, these defeated women, the both both
Speaker 1: the woman who killed herselves parents were interviewed, and then
Speaker 1: the woman who didn't kill herself was interviewed as also
Speaker 1: her parents, and then they talked to a bunch of
Speaker 1: other women. There is a scene at the end where
Speaker 1: it's just a support group of women who are all
Speaker 1: sitting there with their moms and they're they're all going
Speaker 1: around talking about their rape. And then the moms are
Speaker 1: like trying really hard not to cry, and they're being
Speaker 1: so stoic about it, and and I'm just so sick
Speaker 1: of women having to collect themselves about this ship and
Speaker 1: not and and then be shunned by their town and
Speaker 1: called sluts because they were raped and no one believes,
Speaker 1: like and it just it just reminded me like when
Speaker 1: after Toronto, after both shows, um, more than one woman
Speaker 1: came up to me like with a tear rolling down
Speaker 1: her cheek, and I knew I when that happens, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you were raped, and and I just I know that
Speaker 1: in my head because that's always what it is. And um,
Speaker 1: and it's just like these women are so strong and
Speaker 1: so composed, but like, I'm so sick of seeing that.
Speaker 1: Why do we have to be Like, I don't what
Speaker 1: is the other option? I don't know, crying a ball.
Speaker 1: That's not gonna help either. But like, well, I think
Speaker 1: sometimes you're being imself not strong for other people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, because it's how you deal with Sometimes you
Speaker 1: have to be strong for yourself. Yeah, we did get
Speaker 1: through the day, But I'm just like, there's something so
Speaker 1: wrong with our fucking society. If if rape victims are
Speaker 1: just sitting back in these shadows and being ignored and
Speaker 1: not having just this and and being shunned for being
Speaker 1: sexually assaulted, and then these rapists are just going around
Speaker 1: they don't I still can't figure out what the problem is.
Speaker 1: Do they not know they're raping? Do these young men
Speaker 1: not know that they are raping women? Well, I think
Speaker 1: because I think what we are, what we think of
Speaker 1: as rape, even as women a lot of times before
Speaker 1: it happens, is like someone we don't know jumping out
Speaker 1: of a bush, attacking us and then forcing his dick
Speaker 1: inside of us. I think that's a lot that but
Speaker 1: that's not really I mean, that is also rape, but
Speaker 1: that's not a common kind of rape at all. So
Speaker 1: I just, I just I want to start. I want
Speaker 1: to start. I don't know how to do this, but
Speaker 1: I know that I can look it up on Google.
Speaker 1: But I want to how consent needs to be taught
Speaker 1: in schools. That's just that's what I mean. That's well,
Speaker 1: Blair the problem. Actually we're just on their way to
Speaker 1: workers university to talk about consent today. I just thowt
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Really to teach kids, Yeah, I mean that's
Speaker 1: in that's in college. I mean, I think it probably
Speaker 1: an age, but it's just start earlier, like in high school.
Speaker 1: You probably want to start talking about it, like nips
Speaker 1: a problem in the bud before it becomes a problem. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean I think I think finally at
Speaker 1: least colleges are starting to be like, yo, we need
Speaker 1: to talk about this. But of course things are happening,
Speaker 1: you know, are being solved in liberal markets first, so
Speaker 1: like the liberal you know, Rutgers is in New Jersey,
Speaker 1: so the coasts usually go first, and then it works inward. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I just every fucking story I hear about rape is
Speaker 1: just the rapist is like Aaron Glazer in our comedy
Speaker 1: community is a rapist and he is walking I don't
Speaker 1: know what he's doing right now. He's not being booked
Speaker 1: on anymore shows because we've shunned him on social media
Speaker 1: because the one of the people he raped it was
Speaker 1: reported and nothing fucking happened, so we turned to social media,
Speaker 1: and then we're getting criticized for saying something on on
Speaker 1: social media, but the police department isn't doing anything about it,
Speaker 1: and this fucking asshole is walking around the New York
Speaker 1: City comedy scene like he's hot. Shit Now he's not.
Speaker 1: Now his reputation is ruined forever, I hope forever. But
Speaker 1: like that's fine, Like it's just it's I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's I want to try and figure out what the
Speaker 1: root of the problem is and then really try to
Speaker 1: make something happen. I'm gonna research how a law gets
Speaker 1: made or how it gets proposed and try and fucking
Speaker 1: I don't know, do petitions work. Maybe they didn't. I
Speaker 1: think those sick of hearing I think unfortunately the problem
Speaker 1: with this is it's like beyond like you can make
Speaker 1: all like the laws you want, but this is like
Speaker 1: something much like racism, Like there has to be a
Speaker 1: social change in people the way people think so you can.
Speaker 1: You know, laws can be created, but laws can't change
Speaker 1: the way people think. It only kind of kind of
Speaker 1: stop them from doing things because there is this threat
Speaker 1: of being punished. But you know, like with religion, I'm like,
Speaker 1: religion confuses me because I'm like, if you didn't, if
Speaker 1: you didn't believe in God, would you just be at
Speaker 1: like murdering people? Like I don't understand anyway, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: do that. You're you're being a good person for God,
Speaker 1: like be a good person for yourself. But yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I mean our country is a huge mess, and I
Speaker 1: think this is a great lead into the debates that
Speaker 1: we watched. I mean, if we want to talk about
Speaker 1: the treatment of women, we need, we need, we needn't
Speaker 1: look further than the debate that we all watched on Monday. Uh.
Speaker 1: Senor Trump versus Hillary Clinton Secretary Hillary Clinton, badass bitch
Speaker 1: of the universe. Yeah, she uh schooled him in the debate.
Speaker 1: It was so satisfying to finally watch him be bated
Speaker 1: by whenever he disagreed with her. Was something she said,
Speaker 1: he goes wrong wrong like a fucking toddler, And it
Speaker 1: was the most child it was. It was heinous but
Speaker 1: it also was very satisfying to see. But there's another
Speaker 1: example of a woman going they're they're okay, okay Trump mmmmm,
Speaker 1: and and then after the debate you still have people.
Speaker 1: Britt Hume said on on Hillary's recent debate performance, she
Speaker 1: looked for the most um uh, she looked composed, smug,
Speaker 1: sometimes not necessarily attractive. This is one of the many
Speaker 1: uh comments on Hillary. So if she's composed and doesn't
Speaker 1: fucking explode on him like like I would, this is
Speaker 1: why I'm not running for president, among many reasons. She
Speaker 1: would be crazy. But if she if she keeps it
Speaker 1: cool and doesn't say anything and kind of gives him
Speaker 1: the okay, she's smug like, and then her looks have
Speaker 1: nothing to do with anything. And just like the amount
Speaker 1: of people commenting on that, it's like, it's so sad. Well, first,
Speaker 1: first off, Donald Trump is also not good looking, and
Speaker 1: it's secondly, Hillary Clinton is a sixty year old woman.
Speaker 1: Are you judging your grandmother on how she looks? Like? What?
Speaker 1: Then you should Number one, you shouldn't be judging anyone
Speaker 1: on how they look that has for president. That has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with how you run a fucking country
Speaker 1: In fact, I'm more comfortable someone less good looking running
Speaker 1: the country because that means they spend less time in
Speaker 1: the mirror. Every morning, they get up, they put their pants,
Speaker 1: suit on, and they go out and they do their
Speaker 1: fucking just signed some bills. Yeah, what do you what
Speaker 1: do you like? It's such a it's such a distract
Speaker 1: from the real issues, the things that we are worried about.
Speaker 1: We we worry about esthetic and likability. Neither of those
Speaker 1: things are fucking important when you're running for president. This
Speaker 1: isn't a popularity contest, like and I know, and it's
Speaker 1: just it's very interesting to me, like the words that
Speaker 1: we're using to destruct whatever you fucking think about Hillary Clinton.
Speaker 1: This woman has done a lot and I know people
Speaker 1: are like, yeah, she's committed a lot of crimes. Shut
Speaker 1: the funk up. She has also been investigated by them
Speaker 1: a eight. There was eight investigations on the email thing.
Speaker 1: There's many investigations on the emails and Benghazi. There was
Speaker 1: no legal wrongdoing found. Any bullshit that you have on
Speaker 1: the Clinton Foundation, like the one shady donation that was
Speaker 1: made is actually approved by the United States government. Hillary
Speaker 1: had nothing to do with that approval of the donator,
Speaker 1: like watch last week, tonight, this past week, and John
Speaker 1: Oliver will break down the scandals on each party and
Speaker 1: it will articulate. He articulates just how dangerous it is
Speaker 1: to say that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are equally
Speaker 1: bad people are equally scandalous, like he called Hillary on
Speaker 1: her ship, but then when you look at Trump, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this guy right. Well, and also you can release your
Speaker 1: tax returns even if you're being an audit. Well, and
Speaker 1: also NPR dot org did a really great fact fact
Speaker 1: checking of the debates if you want to go, and
Speaker 1: you know NPR. Obviously everyone's like all these places skew liberal. Well,
Speaker 1: their respected news outlets, so they're going to report the
Speaker 1: news pretty accurately. I mean, there's a little bias in everything,
Speaker 1: but you can't just like make up facts like facts
Speaker 1: or facts. Um, and uh, what I was getting at
Speaker 1: it is just like the terminology people are using with Hillary,
Speaker 1: like we've we've just never seen this in any male
Speaker 1: male election, Like it's not appropriate to refer to a
Speaker 1: woman who is Secretary of State, who has done all
Speaker 1: the work that Hillary Clinton has done as a bitch
Speaker 1: or a kind like I called her a badasspicich before
Speaker 1: that's a little different, but like people like calling her
Speaker 1: an actual like with anger, a cunt. No, not appropriate,
Speaker 1: just not, it's not and it's it's this isn't a
Speaker 1: comedy show. This is the presidential election of the United
Speaker 1: States of America. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't call Sarah
Speaker 1: Palin to kunts. I don't like her, but it's just not.
Speaker 1: It's like, if you're getting to these levels the thing,
Speaker 1: it's just not appropriate anymore. And it's also such a
Speaker 1: gender specific uh like hate hate work. It's just it's
Speaker 1: it's so indicative of the amount of sexism that still
Speaker 1: runs runs through the veins of Americans in in in
Speaker 1: a lot of parts of this country where we can
Speaker 1: watch that debate and then Killery still gets criticized over
Speaker 1: what she said, how she looked, how she said, at
Speaker 1: the tone she used. And Donald Trump lies most of
Speaker 1: the time. Won't it won't release his tax returns for
Speaker 1: a reason he's citing. It's not a reason. He doesn't
Speaker 1: know what a blind trust is he This guy is
Speaker 1: so fucking stupid. Well, yeah, he's acting, and he's acting
Speaker 1: in a way that wouldn't be appropriate in a high
Speaker 1: school presidential action, never mind the presidential election for the
Speaker 1: United States of America. It's just inappropriate. God damn racist.
Speaker 1: I the sexism thing, I don't know. I hope one
Speaker 1: day that gets solved. Racism, the racist bullshit that's happening
Speaker 1: is like, oh, God damn it. Well yeah, and it's
Speaker 1: like I kind of like, I know what people are like.
Speaker 1: I don't like when you guys get political, and um,
Speaker 1: I don't. My vagina is political, and I don't like
Speaker 1: that's part of their laws governing my vagina and your vagina.
Speaker 1: So we're getting fucking political. But also, and I don't
Speaker 1: honestly care if you stop listening to podcasts, it's fucking
Speaker 1: go time. This is probably the most important of a
Speaker 1: fucking election that will happen during your lifetime. And you
Speaker 1: have two choices. I'm not saying that's how politics should be.
Speaker 1: You have two choices. The choices are Donald Trump for
Speaker 1: Hillary Clinton. And it's not only is it stupid, it's
Speaker 1: very dangerous. If you're voting for Donald Trump. And if
Speaker 1: you're saying I'm not voting for anyone, you might as
Speaker 1: well vote for Donald Trump. And I truly believe that,
Speaker 1: And uh, just just make a smart choice. And also,
Speaker 1: you better fucking be registered to vote. Yeah, I was good.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, if you're over eighteen, um,
Speaker 1: look it up. Just google it. Because the voter registration
Speaker 1: the deadlines start in October. Okay, So it lists every
Speaker 1: state and what the exact voter registration deadline is. So
Speaker 1: look it up on Google. You'll find it. The MSNBC's
Speaker 1: important to vote. If you don't vote, you are a
Speaker 1: lazy person, and you should You're not should not be
Speaker 1: weaking sable duty. Goddamn it, just do it. It's infuriating.
Speaker 1: And then, I mean going on, Hillary Clinton mentioned this
Speaker 1: briefly in the debates um about Alicia Machado, who was
Speaker 1: the first Miss Universe that one after Donald Trump bought
Speaker 1: brought that pageant, and uh, I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: gotta get into this. Like he referred to this miss
Speaker 1: Miss Winner as Miss Piggy. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just sitting there going what the funk? And then
Speaker 1: she released these videos where Alicia Machado is interviewed at length,
Speaker 1: and there are clips that they're not edited. It's just
Speaker 1: Donald Trump outright talking about her weight, say, saying that
Speaker 1: she was this is someone who likes to eat. That
Speaker 1: she gave what she gained a significant amount of weight
Speaker 1: after she won, and like he bodied shamed her. And
Speaker 1: this woman ended up having like a ton of eating
Speaker 1: disorders because here she is. She won this huge contest
Speaker 1: as was the biggest opportunity that she had ever gotten.
Speaker 1: This powerful man is not only privately but publicly commenting
Speaker 1: on her weight like this is a childish person. This
Speaker 1: is not a person who is fit to be president.
Speaker 1: And also, I mean, go back and watch that debate.
Speaker 1: Was Donald Trump entertaining Absolutely if this was last comic standing,
Speaker 1: my vote would go to Donald Trump. However, the vagueness
Speaker 1: in which she answered almost every question. He's like, We're
Speaker 1: gonna do a lot of things. We're gonna get a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff done. Hillary Clinton was facts, names, strategies,
Speaker 1: things I've done, reasons, confidence. And also she should just
Speaker 1: win for not fucking punching in the face. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: give so many props to home girl Hillary in not
Speaker 1: punching Donald Trump in the face. And Donald Trump was
Speaker 1: interviewed after the debates, like so a couple of days
Speaker 1: ago about Alicia and he still said she gained a
Speaker 1: lot of way very quickly. It was a huge problem.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Yo, are you kidding me? Bro? Really? You
Speaker 1: stupid as fuck. So normally I would say normally, I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm a crazy person. Well, yeah, normally I
Speaker 1: would say it's important to vote for this particular election.
Speaker 1: I'm going to say it's important to vote for Hillary Clinton. Guys,
Speaker 1: we fucked officially endorses Hillary Clinton for president. If you
Speaker 1: have a problem with that, we don't give a ship.
Speaker 1: And you know what, polity, they're one of the big
Speaker 1: reasons that politics are part of the discussions that we
Speaker 1: sometimes have on the podcast is because we are not
Speaker 1: We are very much against bitching about things and not
Speaker 1: doing anything about it. One way, you can do something
Speaker 1: about the laws that you're not satisfied with. Vote for people,
Speaker 1: voting your local elections, because that's where it starts. That's
Speaker 1: where the roots of everything comes from, these these local
Speaker 1: politicians we move on to the Senate and then maybe
Speaker 1: move on to become president. Just vote, be informed, resetarch,
Speaker 1: do your research, read as many articles as you possibly can,
Speaker 1: try and find as sources that are unbiased, and that
Speaker 1: can be a challenge sometimes, but educate yourself. You guys, Yeah,
Speaker 1: like it's really cool to have casual sex and all that,
Speaker 1: but more awesome but like fucking vote. But more importantly,
Speaker 1: what I hope you take from this podcast is that
Speaker 1: you have you do. If you take the necessary steps,
Speaker 1: you can have a lot more control over your life
Speaker 1: and over the outcomes of things. Then I think you
Speaker 1: even know um on that. No, Hey, guys, we're back.
Speaker 1: Do you want more? Guys, we've fucked in your life? Well,
Speaker 1: you're in luck because we are doing two bonus episodes
Speaker 1: per month. When you sign up for how Will um so,
Speaker 1: there's a very specific code you have to go to.
Speaker 1: It's a u r L how will dot fm slash
Speaker 1: g w uf. You can do a one month free trial.
Speaker 1: See how you like it. We've already done two bonus
Speaker 1: episodes are really fun. We're also going to have bonus
Speaker 1: pictures and videos and shut up there. It's just four
Speaker 1: month and it also gives you access to other podcasts
Speaker 1: and I'm actually was gonna um uh do like a
Speaker 1: thing where like I recommend my favorite podcast you can
Speaker 1: also find on how because I love podcasts and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of great stuff. It's like the Netflix for podcasting.
Speaker 1: You get a lot of other access to other bonus content. Um,
Speaker 1: So go to Howell dot f M slash GWF. You
Speaker 1: can download the app on your smartphone and then you
Speaker 1: can have more episodes of Guys We've sucked in your life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: one's already up there. I mean just recorded a really
Speaker 1: amazing bonus episode with Tommy while we were in Toronto.
Speaker 1: It's so good, it's so interesting. We take time to
Speaker 1: do things that are a little bit different and a
Speaker 1: little bit more in depth than we would do on
Speaker 1: the regular podcast. So make sure to go to how
Speaker 1: dot fm slash g WF. If you don't go there
Speaker 1: and we don't get any credit for some yeah. And
Speaker 1: that's also a way you can help out the because
Speaker 1: some people still emails like I want to Doney money
Speaker 1: sign how Yeah that's better a month, much more helpful
Speaker 1: than sending us money and you get something back, yeah,
Speaker 1: because you love so much stuff back. Um. And another
Speaker 1: way to support the podcast is to buy merchandise. We
Speaker 1: you've been begging us to make merchandise since the podcast started.
Speaker 1: It's over two years into it. We finally made merchandise.
Speaker 1: And the bustling merchandise is that it's designed by a fucker. Uh,
Speaker 1: the wonderful At least Perry designed some wonderful, wonderful graphics
Speaker 1: for Sorry About last Night and Guys we fucked. These
Speaker 1: are available on T shirts, tank tops, hoodies, and toe bags.
Speaker 1: Just go to Sorry about last Night Comedy dot com
Speaker 1: and go to the merch section. It'll bring you to
Speaker 1: our merchandise provider, which is represent They're awesome, the reasonably priced.
Speaker 1: And make sure if you're getting a T shirt and
Speaker 1: you're a woman, there is a different there's a female
Speaker 1: fit that's noted. Um, but we also do have a
Speaker 1: unisex fit if you just like something a little box here,
Speaker 1: if you're a man, if you're not sure, if you're
Speaker 1: gonna sleep in it, if you're gonna wear it to
Speaker 1: the gym, just wear it. They're really cool and we
Speaker 1: appreciate it, and um, it really helps get the word
Speaker 1: out about guys we fund I'm sorry about last night. Uh.
Speaker 1: And if you're in New York City, come see us live. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Glare post is tonight at seven thirty coasted by Wendy
Speaker 1: Starling at myself at Zinc Bar, which is eighty two
Speaker 1: s Third Street. Um, the doors open at seven. We're
Speaker 1: almost sold out for this. But even if you can't
Speaker 1: get tickets in the link in this podcast, we do
Speaker 1: reserve a bunch of tickets at the door that you
Speaker 1: can buy, So if you just show up at seven,
Speaker 1: you can get a ticket. It's twenty one and up.
Speaker 1: And then we're gonna all go in a field trip
Speaker 1: to Karine's show because it's on birthday. I hoped, I
Speaker 1: hope not all of your room, but some of you.
Speaker 1: Uh it come to Nacho Bitches at fIF pm tonight
Speaker 1: at New York Comedy Club. It's to forty one Street. Uh.
Speaker 1: Tickets are ten dollars when you use the code Nacho again.
Speaker 1: Make sure to use that code. It's cheaper and we
Speaker 1: get credit for it. Co hosted by Blair Saki and myself.
Speaker 1: It's my birthday show. Uh. It's almost sold out. It
Speaker 1: might be sold out by the time that this is airing,
Speaker 1: but it's gonna be really fun. And we have a
Speaker 1: special surprise guest who you're gonna fucking love. Uh. And
Speaker 1: then here are tour dates. All tickets for these tour
Speaker 1: dates are between twenty and five dollars. A couple of
Speaker 1: the venues are sixteen and up, but just check the website.
Speaker 1: Give him a call. We're trying to make it as
Speaker 1: young as possible, but there's not a lot of juice
Speaker 1: bars where you can do comedy, so bearer with us Syracuse,
Speaker 1: New York. On November two, we're going to be at
Speaker 1: the Funny Bone. Special note. If there's anyone who goes
Speaker 1: to Syracuse University who would be interested in being like
Speaker 1: a street Team ambassador, just email us it's sorry about
Speaker 1: last night's show at gmail dot com. We'd love to
Speaker 1: get the word out on the Syracuse campus. Albany, New York.
Speaker 1: November three at the Funny Bone, Hartford, Connecticut. November six
Speaker 1: at the Funny Bone, Ravine, California. At November nine at
Speaker 1: the Mprov, Los Angeles, California. November ten at the Comedy Store.
Speaker 1: That one's almost slows out, so please buy your tickets.
Speaker 1: A sa p Fadix at Rizolda eleven eleven Stand Up Live, Ontario,
Speaker 1: cal Lafornia. November at the Improv, San Francisco, were sold out. Sorry,
Speaker 1: we love you, Indianapolis, Indiana, November six, Columbus, Ohio. I
Speaker 1: Know You're a fucking fun city. November sevente at the
Speaker 1: Funny Bone, Chicago, Illinois November eighteenth at the Ante at
Speaker 1: the Annum Theater. Just go to a link and it'll
Speaker 1: be spelled and pronounced right. Uh. And that one's a
Speaker 1: pot a live podcast taping. All the other ones are
Speaker 1: the Experience show. Just to heads up, and the last
Speaker 1: scene on this is Cleveland, Ohio on November we will
Speaker 1: be at Hilarities. But before that, you're gonna be a
Speaker 1: Newport right m oh yeah, good thing, the good thing
Speaker 1: you were a new thing, you remember that. Uh. And
Speaker 1: then just to heads up, there's two other dates that
Speaker 1: we wanted to promote. One is for Newport, Rhode Island.
Speaker 1: That's just gonna be me, Karen. I'm at the Rhogue
Speaker 1: Island Comedy Fest on Saturday, October eighth. Go to Rogue
Speaker 1: Island Comedy Fest dot com for details. I'm doing like
Speaker 1: three shows that day. That's such a fun little place.
Speaker 1: But I swear to God, if you drink and drive,
Speaker 1: I will beat you sounseless. So much drunk driving in
Speaker 1: that town. Chill out, get an uber, It's unbelievable. Don't
Speaker 1: drink and drive so cool, dumb dumb uh. And then
Speaker 1: we're also still going to be in New Orleans for
Speaker 1: hell yes, Fast October twelve. Yeah, and that's a Wednesday,
Speaker 1: October twelve. We've never been to New Orleans. My brother
Speaker 1: is gonna be there. It's gonna be really fun. I
Speaker 1: was excited to see Ghosts who played jazz. Yeah. All
Speaker 1: these links I know, there's so many links and dates
Speaker 1: and everything. It's all in the description of the podcast
Speaker 1: as well as I'm sorry about last Night Comedy dot com.
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Speaker 1: about your ability to cook. And when we were at
Speaker 1: the Jersey Shore, my dad brought his Blue Apron recipe cards,
Speaker 1: but he like improvised and like change some of the
Speaker 1: ingredients because he thought that, like, I'm gonna be a
Speaker 1: chef head. And then when I went home that night
Speaker 1: and I had to make Stephen pull over, and I
Speaker 1: projectile vomited in a wah wah bathroom while an old
Speaker 1: lady was trying to digest hurt meal from earlier that evening.
Speaker 1: It was very unfortunate. So Blue Apron does instill a
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Speaker 1: h g w F. You know, when I was in
Speaker 1: high school, we had to read Pride and Prejudice. But
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't sit still and look at
Speaker 1: something for very long. So I went to my library
Speaker 1: and got it on cassette tape and then like my
Speaker 1: best friend Melissa and I would just like blast Pride
Speaker 1: and Prejudice and roll our windows down, and it was
Speaker 1: like it was just so freeing. Wow, you're a better
Speaker 1: student than I am. I just went to spark notes.
Speaker 1: See I wouldn't, I would end, but you do it.
Speaker 1: In Audible was around before when when I needed spark notes,
Speaker 1: I would have just had the book read to me.
Speaker 1: God damn. I remember the summer I was reading a
Speaker 1: Tale of Two Cities for like the high school reading,
Speaker 1: like you know how to give me people books over
Speaker 1: the summer, and I would just take like long naps
Speaker 1: a Tale on the book. I would just go up
Speaker 1: to my room like I'm gonna read Tale of Two
Speaker 1: Cities now. And it was just like me taking two
Speaker 1: hour naps. And your mom was like, Wow, you really
Speaker 1: into that book. I know there's two Cities. The amount
Speaker 1: of naps I took as opposed to the amount of
Speaker 1: books I read just pretty amazing. Really, I'm really yeah,
Speaker 1: But you know what, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I think the knap was more important. Yeah, you need
Speaker 1: to sleep, Yeah, I'm I was. I've been tired since
Speaker 1: I was like twelve. Anyway, speaking a tired email us guys, UM,
Speaker 1: sorry about last night show at gmail dot com is
Speaker 1: our email, UM, I'm gonna read this email doesn't have
Speaker 1: a subject line because it was sent to us through
Speaker 1: our website. Sorry about listn com dot com. Um And okay,
Speaker 1: Hey gals, my wife is currently pregnant and we have
Speaker 1: had a pretty active sex life. We are both in
Speaker 1: our early twenties, and right before she became pregnant, we
Speaker 1: were starting to experiment sexually with each other. We realized
Speaker 1: that after marriage our sex life became more comfortable, and
Speaker 1: because of that feeling, we thought we should be getting
Speaker 1: exploring since we felt a deep connection to each other already. However,
Speaker 1: she is now pregnant and the sex is lasting on
Speaker 1: her mind. I'm having trouble finding a way to be
Speaker 1: intimate with her. She has told me that having sex
Speaker 1: while pregnant does feel different to her certain positions, hurt, etcetera.
Speaker 1: And I totally utterly respect her boundaries. Since hormones have increased,
Speaker 1: I've pretty much become a become a horn dog and
Speaker 1: am having trouble finding an outlet because I so badly
Speaker 1: and desperately want to connect with her. Even if we
Speaker 1: just make out or do something some simple sexual stuff,
Speaker 1: it would be it would fulfill that desire. I feel
Speaker 1: super inadequate and my self esteem has dropped immensely because
Speaker 1: of this situation. It really sucks because I have talked
Speaker 1: to her about all of this and she assures me
Speaker 1: that she's still super attracted to me and still wants
Speaker 1: me sexually. It's just an awkward time for her. For
Speaker 1: the record, this is our first baby. But I guess
Speaker 1: some advice if any can be given would be super helpful.
Speaker 1: I really just want to be able to approach the
Speaker 1: conversation in a new way or get a fresh perspective.
Speaker 1: And yes, masturbation is definitely the easy way out, but
Speaker 1: I crave my wife. Thank you so much for being
Speaker 1: so open and positive feminists on a mission to change
Speaker 1: the minds of viewers as well as making them laugh
Speaker 1: into process. Uh, you know what your husband and pregnanty,
Speaker 1: it makes his pregnancy about him. I've never been pregnant,
Speaker 1: so I don't know. Um, you know it's not about
Speaker 1: you right now because there's a baby growing inside your
Speaker 1: wife's uterus. And I know some women when we talk
Speaker 1: to j Wow at her house, she was super pregnant.
Speaker 1: She did not want her husband or her boyfriend at
Speaker 1: the time going near her. And that's just what how
Speaker 1: she felt. And that's fine. If you Angelina Jolie and
Speaker 1: you're like, I feel more sexual when I'm pregnant and
Speaker 1: I want to suck more. Good for you, that's great
Speaker 1: as well. But everyone is so different during a pregnancy.
Speaker 1: I can't speak from experience because I've never been pregnant,
Speaker 1: but I gotta say when I come home from a
Speaker 1: night and I'm a little bit tired, and Stephen wants
Speaker 1: to bang. I'm like, yeah, no, I just say no,
Speaker 1: and I feel I feel a little bad part of me.
Speaker 1: But then I can't imagine having a child growing inside
Speaker 1: of me. Maybe I'll be super horny, maybe I won't,
Speaker 1: but um, I think, maybe take this opportunity. If you
Speaker 1: want to feel more connected with your wife, do things
Speaker 1: with her. You don't have to bone yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I mean I was just gonna stay, just like, take
Speaker 1: her to a museum, be more romantic, maybe to veer
Speaker 1: towards romance instead of sexuality. For this, I know, nine
Speaker 1: months is a long time and I know that you
Speaker 1: and probably after she has the baby, she's probably not
Speaker 1: gonna be weeks after I think, um, but you know,
Speaker 1: just give her some time. I know that's it's like
Speaker 1: almost a year. That's a long time. But also, you know,
Speaker 1: a creature is growing inside her. That's fucking crazy. That's awesome,
Speaker 1: and women are awesome. That's that's just like I don't
Speaker 1: even know, that's what. That's crazy, And I mean that
Speaker 1: that's got to be frustrating. Though, if you you're excited
Speaker 1: about this baby, you're taking care of your wife, and
Speaker 1: then if your horny or horny like I get it,
Speaker 1: I totally get it. But masturbation I don't think is
Speaker 1: the easy way out in this case. I think it's
Speaker 1: the way to to come or I don't know. I
Speaker 1: was gonna suggest mut mutual masturbation because actually Steven and
Speaker 1: I do that a lot, and it's really fun and
Speaker 1: it's really hot. I don't think she doesn't want to
Speaker 1: do but I don't think she's gonna want to do that. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So I mean, obviously you can make some suggestions, but
Speaker 1: if she doesn't want to do it, she don't want
Speaker 1: to do it, and you can't push her. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: she's carrying a child. Yeah, this is the one time
Speaker 1: where you just kind of this is like, you know,
Speaker 1: kind of like her baby Zilla moments, Like you know,
Speaker 1: there's a bride zell and there's a baby's zille and
Speaker 1: there's like two times when you kind of just have
Speaker 1: to put up with it, and I know it's like
Speaker 1: it is your both of your child. But she's got
Speaker 1: pushed how much work more work she's doing. I mean,
Speaker 1: not to give a limen more credit, but like we
Speaker 1: have a lot of a lot of work. You really
Speaker 1: got the easy the easiest. Body is changing, her hormones
Speaker 1: are changing, her vagina is about to push out a baby,
Speaker 1: or if she gets a C section, she's about to
Speaker 1: have a baby ripped out of her. So I think,
Speaker 1: just take some sense to be more romantic, do romantic things,
Speaker 1: and that does not always have to include physical touch
Speaker 1: or something that's going to make your dick hard. Hand, Yeah,
Speaker 1: how about you hold a hand? Yeah, give her a
Speaker 1: back massage. Oh damn boy, you want to be husband
Speaker 1: of the year. Yeah, give a massage or give certificate
Speaker 1: to a to a. There's types of massages you can
Speaker 1: get when your pregnant, prenatal massage. And if she's but
Speaker 1: she's too pregnant, just don't rub her feet because I
Speaker 1: can induce early labor. No way. Really, just a heads
Speaker 1: up from a former spat receptionist current fisher. Sometimes when
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling like horny for Steven and then does
Speaker 1: something really nice for me, then just comes all rushing
Speaker 1: back to you. Women love giving thank yous with like blowjobs.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, so just never maybe I will happily suck
Speaker 1: your dick after you do something so kind and nice
Speaker 1: for me. Just always remember that I think we're not
Speaker 1: gonna we don't advertise that, but you don't, but just
Speaker 1: know that it's on the table. Um, I fucked a murderer.
Speaker 1: What that's I didn't, but that's that's the title of
Speaker 1: our of the subject of our newest email. Hey ladies,
Speaker 1: please don't mention my name. If you happen to read
Speaker 1: this on the podcast, will do so. Here's my deal.
Speaker 1: Let me preface this by saying that I am married.
Speaker 1: My husband and I have been happily non monogamous for
Speaker 1: eight years now. Anyway, while on a business trip last October,
Speaker 1: I ended up walking to the same restaurant each night
Speaker 1: for dinner. There was a really cute server there that
Speaker 1: I ended up chatting with one night who happened to
Speaker 1: be getting his shift as I was leaving. I decided
Speaker 1: to invite him back to my hotel for a couple
Speaker 1: of drinks and possibly more. We talked and joked for
Speaker 1: about an hour. He was very open, charming and has
Speaker 1: a sweet, vulnerable side to him that appealed to me.
Speaker 1: Things escalated rather quickly and we started to get naughty.
Speaker 1: Because I like it rough. I asked him to choke
Speaker 1: me while we were having sex. He did really hard,
Speaker 1: so hard that I had to tell him, are you
Speaker 1: a murder? And not just kidding? So hard like no
Speaker 1: way that I had to tell him to stop twice.
Speaker 1: He apologized and explained that he was a jiu jitsu
Speaker 1: trainer and that quote sometimes he doesn't know his own strength,
Speaker 1: and I was going to say the fucking red flags here.
Speaker 1: We ended up fucking until six am. I left for
Speaker 1: work at seven. He visited me later that day at work,
Speaker 1: even though I didn't give him the address. I just
Speaker 1: added that um. And we kept in touch pretty regularly
Speaker 1: for almost a year up until a few weeks ago
Speaker 1: when he was arrested for a in all caps brutal murder.
Speaker 1: Oh I saw it. She includes a link. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of stuff just reading from the U
Speaker 1: r L without even going to it. It says Charles
Speaker 1: Dean Bryant, murder killer Jackie Van der Griff, Dallas, Texas,
Speaker 1: grape Vine, burned, dismembered, Denton has let. I just gave
Speaker 1: away his name, but I don't think that's how That's
Speaker 1: doesn't really matter. Charles has charged with capital murder after
Speaker 1: authorities say he killed, burned, and dismembered twenty four year
Speaker 1: old Jackie after their last name is Year. But whatever, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, yeah, family, just for a family privacy whatever.
Speaker 1: I mean. Yeah, it's a It's just it's meeting at
Speaker 1: a bar. It's fucked up, guys, sucked up. Read this
Speaker 1: fucking article if you want to be if you want
Speaker 1: to feel more scared going to bars than you already did. Um. So,
Speaker 1: the writer goes out, I have been a rex in.
Speaker 1: I found out. I was in shock for twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: Fell apart shortly after due to how close of a
Speaker 1: call that could have been for me. No kidding. And
Speaker 1: now I'm not sure how I feel. I consider myself
Speaker 1: to be a very intuitive person and good judge of character.
Speaker 1: I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact
Speaker 1: that the person I got to know and spend time
Speaker 1: with could actually be capable of these things he's being
Speaker 1: accused of. I'm ashamed I put myself in such a
Speaker 1: dangerous situation. On one hand, I obviously feel awful for
Speaker 1: the victim and her family. On the other, I feel
Speaker 1: sympathy for the kind person I knew who was sitting
Speaker 1: in jail, possibly awaiting the death penalty. My friends think
Speaker 1: that I shouldn't feel sympathy for someone who could do
Speaker 1: such heinous things, but I just can't help it. I
Speaker 1: even wrote him a letter saying how confused I was,
Speaker 1: and that while I absolutely do not condone the actions
Speaker 1: he's been accused of, I recognize that he is a
Speaker 1: human being who is suffering. I just want to understand
Speaker 1: it all. I guess, am I wrong to feel this way?
Speaker 1: Was it stupid to write him? Will I ever find closures? Somehow?
Speaker 1: In all of this? My husband feels like, quote, it's
Speaker 1: a crazy thing that happened, and I'm glad you're safe.
Speaker 1: I can't sleep. I've been drinking every night and it's
Speaker 1: all I can think about this week. I feel helpless. Advice. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you sucked the murderer. This one is interesting. Um first, like,
Speaker 1: all the spectrum of emotions you're going through are certainly fine.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you've spent you spent a long time
Speaker 1: with this person, you spent a year talking to him,
Speaker 1: just because and just because you just remember a body,
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you've never done anything good or dice in
Speaker 1: your entire life. It's quite simply mean those Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously this is not just a murder. This is a
Speaker 1: brutal murder, as you pointed out. And this is something
Speaker 1: where I truly believe there has to be something very
Speaker 1: mentally wrong with you. I can kind of tell from
Speaker 1: the picture. So I don't want to I don't want
Speaker 1: to say, like, maybe you should have been you didn't
Speaker 1: know he was a murderer. No, he's you know what
Speaker 1: these pictures. Uh, he's handsome. He's a good looking guy,
Speaker 1: very well trim beard, fashionable, handsome man. And it doesn't
Speaker 1: that sucks, but that's why he's probably able to do
Speaker 1: something like this. I mean, part of this, this is
Speaker 1: interesting because I wonder if he's done anything like this before,
Speaker 1: because this is isolated, seemingly. His ex girlfriend, though, has
Speaker 1: had a restraining order again, right, And part of that
Speaker 1: restraining order was like he has kiddie poles in his
Speaker 1: backyard and that's really weird. And then his roommate noticed
Speaker 1: that one of the kiddie polls was gone after the
Speaker 1: murder somehow part of the murder. Wow, yeah, fucked up.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you did nothing wrong though, And it's okay
Speaker 1: that you didn't realize he was a murderer when you
Speaker 1: met him. Right, you know that's not However, I'm gonna say,
Speaker 1: just meeting someone at a bar when you're out of
Speaker 1: town alone on a business trip and bringing him back
Speaker 1: to your hotel, I wouldn't recommend that. Yeah, I wouldn't either.
Speaker 1: Seems that some risks I know, like I don't. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure how old you are, and that kind of
Speaker 1: doesn't matter at the end of the day. I mean, obviously,
Speaker 1: like I'm a little more judgment I mean, people in
Speaker 1: their early twenty waste when I was in my early twenties.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe this stupid shit I did. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: can't believe it. I can't believe I'm alive. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's great that you and your husband
Speaker 1: have um a non monogamous relationship and are open and
Speaker 1: you're you were able to talk to your husband so
Speaker 1: openly about this and he seems to have been so supportive.
Speaker 1: But just because you and your husband have a lot
Speaker 1: of freedom in your relationship, you doesn't mean you can
Speaker 1: kind of just run around with this freedom like there
Speaker 1: You're still living in the real world, where the same
Speaker 1: dangers that exist for single twenty four year old girls
Speaker 1: are existing. Like, it's a very dangerous world out there.
Speaker 1: And while I think we want you to feel, we
Speaker 1: don't want to feel shame and your sexuality just you
Speaker 1: really you got to be constantly playing defense. Uh unfortunately, Yes,
Speaker 1: being being alone in a hotel room with someone you
Speaker 1: just met, it's just there's a lot of risk and
Speaker 1: there's a lot of Yeah, there's a lot of risk
Speaker 1: involved for your physical safety. Yeah, because I mean even
Speaker 1: if you're you're in a hotel room, there's people in
Speaker 1: rooms probably to the right and to the left, there's
Speaker 1: a concierge downstair. Years. It doesn't it doesn't take very
Speaker 1: long to murder someone. No, it can take to a second.
Speaker 1: I haven't you don't have personal experience either, but I
Speaker 1: can't take you can wax someone over the head and
Speaker 1: uh gone. Yeah, And I mean yeah, and maybe you know,
Speaker 1: maybe I'm not saying you didn't have a connection, and
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that he didn't truly like like you
Speaker 1: for who you are, and it's and I don't think
Speaker 1: it's I don't think it's wrong that you wrote him.
Speaker 1: I think it's okay to question that because I think
Speaker 1: sometimes using man, Yeah, I think sometimes what we do
Speaker 1: with people once they've committed a crime, we kind of
Speaker 1: just fucking write them off and that's the end of them.
Speaker 1: And I certainly do believe in rehabilitation, but this is
Speaker 1: that this guy, there's a lot it takes. He don't
Speaker 1: suck up. Yeah, there has to be something very deeply
Speaker 1: wrong with you to murder and dismember someone. God, yeah,
Speaker 1: you did nothing wrong, though you there there wasn't a
Speaker 1: lot of signs that he would. There wasn't signs out
Speaker 1: right that he was a murderer. But also as women,
Speaker 1: we I feel like we noticed sort de text signs
Speaker 1: sometimes and then we don't trust our gut. That's happened
Speaker 1: to me so many times times. Luckily it was never
Speaker 1: with a murderer, but like it happens a lot. And
Speaker 1: you it's not anything against you. You did nothing wrong.
Speaker 1: And then and what a mind funk it is to
Speaker 1: meet somebody and go, wow, what a charming wow? And
Speaker 1: then he fucking dismembers a young woman that could have
Speaker 1: been you. Like, that's horrifying. I get it, But you
Speaker 1: did nothing wrong. Stop, you know, pick yourself up. You
Speaker 1: gotta have some days to like get over it. I
Speaker 1: get it. Yeah, you have to go back on your feet,
Speaker 1: you have to go through kind of like a weird
Speaker 1: morning process. But also, I mean, just take into account
Speaker 1: of things that his ex girlfriend said and obviously this
Speaker 1: poor woman who is now dead. Uh, and you know
Speaker 1: you had a year with this guy, but sometimes you
Speaker 1: just gotta stand up for like women in general, and
Speaker 1: like this is obviously someone who has a problem. Even
Speaker 1: though he didn't have a problem like respecting you, he
Speaker 1: has a problem respecting women. And things like being right
Speaker 1: out of the gates being when he asked him to
Speaker 1: choke you, being like super aggressive about it. These are
Speaker 1: signs that this as someone who has an anger problem
Speaker 1: and some kind of a weird deep hatreotary. I had
Speaker 1: a fun buddy Niko from this podcast who did jiu jitsu.
Speaker 1: He didn't choke me like that, So that's a little weird.
Speaker 1: That's not But now you know, there's one thing you learned.
Speaker 1: Next time this happens, and someone goes right for the
Speaker 1: choking and they're really little too excited to choke you
Speaker 1: and they're a little do a little too hard. Maybe
Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily mean they're a murderer, but just take
Speaker 1: it as a sign of caution. Yeah, that's it. Every mistake,
Speaker 1: we learn a bunch of things, and your husband's dope,
Speaker 1: and just keep talking about him with it and maybe
Speaker 1: maybe just I would say, maybe take a little break
Speaker 1: from being non monogamous and like, I don't know how
Speaker 1: frequently you do it, but it's probably. This is a
Speaker 1: probably a time where you want to kind of go
Speaker 1: back to the safe stone, which is your husband, take
Speaker 1: a little time there, regroup, and then you can go
Speaker 1: back out into that world. I think that will mentally
Speaker 1: help you a little bit as well. Um, okay, so
Speaker 1: I think we got through everything. Where did get through?
Speaker 1: We covered you know, murders, pregnancy, presidentating women. It's great,
Speaker 1: um that he's so right. Now, we're going to play
Speaker 1: for you the episode that we recorded live at the
Speaker 1: Royal Theater in Toronto. It was a sold out room,
Speaker 1: three nine people. So fun, amazing, so amazing. This was
Speaker 1: part of the Just for Laughs Toronto Comedy Festival. And
Speaker 1: our guest is a wonderful comedian, someone who I've followed
Speaker 1: since the beginning of my career. I was so excited
Speaker 1: to have him on. He has a wonderful new show
Speaker 1: coming out on I f c H. The day after Halloween,
Speaker 1: or like two days after Halloween called Stand Against Evil.
Speaker 1: Christina and I watched the preview. So fun and scary
Speaker 1: and interesting. I'm funny, excited. Yeah, please give it up
Speaker 1: for Dana Gools seconds. Should wait work, I can't work. Sorry,
Speaker 1: we're starting late. We were told we had to hold
Speaker 1: the show because there was an excessive line at the bar.
Speaker 1: We're like, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, how you guys doing.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for coming out so it was sold
Speaker 1: out recording. This is so exciting. CRW. You're like in Toronto,
Speaker 1: so far right. I didn't. I was like, I wasn't
Speaker 1: prepared to sit on a stool. You know, sometimes you
Speaker 1: need to know if you're gonna sit on a stool standing.
Speaker 1: Everybody that really resonated with every Our comedy speaks to
Speaker 1: people on a deep level. You know a lot of
Speaker 1: people who didn't know how to sit on a stool.
Speaker 1: In this audience, we're just changing the world. How's everybody doing? Cool?
Speaker 1: This is our first day here. I'm so excited this place.
Speaker 1: You guys have the biggest mall. Holy ship, yeah big.
Speaker 1: We like to shop. Shout out to that guy. I
Speaker 1: like that, the one guy in the room was like,
Speaker 1: I got it. That's also a very polite Canadian heckle,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what I thought we were gonna get. We
Speaker 1: enjoy shopping, recycle, recycle, any vegetables. Did you do any
Speaker 1: We parted ways for a little bit to like venture off.
Speaker 1: Did you bought candy? Right? I bought a lot of candy,
Speaker 1: which just my boyfriend accused me this week. Well, because
Speaker 1: I was trying. I told him. I was like, you
Speaker 1: need to stop smoking. And then he was like, well,
Speaker 1: let's talk about your candy a D. I was like,
Speaker 1: what the funk are you talking about? Like is that
Speaker 1: even a thing? You don't have a candy addiction? Do you? Well?
Speaker 1: But then I went to the whatever your CVS is here?
Speaker 1: And uh, you know what I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: why Shopper's Delight and uh drunk Scalore and uh. And
Speaker 1: then I was in the candy Island. I was like,
Speaker 1: what they have peanut butter kitcats And then you have
Speaker 1: airheads not in the original airhead shape, you have them
Speaker 1: in like bite PC. You didn't even know this, So
Speaker 1: maybe I do have candy addiction. There are things could
Speaker 1: be worse. What did you do on your on your
Speaker 1: little time off, go into that big gass mall, and
Speaker 1: then I went to stores that were way too expensive,
Speaker 1: and then I got real sad. That's always fun, and
Speaker 1: I went home and took a nap. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I like. I get sad a lot when I go
Speaker 1: to malls. Though. My favorite place to get sad is
Speaker 1: to go into the puppy store and then fall in
Speaker 1: love with each puppy and then leave. Do you ever
Speaker 1: get go to a puppy store and then you have
Speaker 1: like that protester outside that ruins it for you. Well,
Speaker 1: puppy mills, which are bad. I mean, those puppies are
Speaker 1: being treated horribly, but I don't want to think about
Speaker 1: that right now. And they're there, so I'm gonna play
Speaker 1: with them in the glass and then leave them. And
Speaker 1: then they're gonna be worse off when than they were before,
Speaker 1: because they're gonna be like mommy and I'm like just
Speaker 1: kidding maybe for ten minutes and by mommy just got
Speaker 1: a new couch. She loves you, but not that much.
Speaker 1: So at the top of our podcast we usually read, uh,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this is good. I don't know what to do,
Speaker 1: oh how to sit well? To be honest, I have
Speaker 1: my period. It took all the energy that I had
Speaker 1: in me to get into these pants. And this wasn't
Speaker 1: This just wasn't the position that I was ready to
Speaker 1: be in. Well, girl, your period body is banging because
Speaker 1: I look pregnant when I'm moment period. I feel so
Speaker 1: bad for anyone who, like I was like, why are
Speaker 1: they clapping? A true hero? Sit in your check Karen.
Speaker 1: Now I feel like I'm just on punishment. Well, now
Speaker 1: we have a table for drinks. No, this is gonna
Speaker 1: be great with this, this all worked out. Dania will
Speaker 1: be super confused when it comes out. Oh sorry, that's
Speaker 1: the guest, but I don't know what that means forgot
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, no, it's gonna be good. I actually
Speaker 1: had a pregnancy scare. You did well. It was food poison,
Speaker 1: but I really thought I was pregnant. And here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I had to CVS brand pregnancy tests. I had to
Speaker 1: just unlock under the bathroom counter. And you know there's
Speaker 1: two little spaces that a line shows up, and if
Speaker 1: both spaces have a line, you're pregnant. And I was
Speaker 1: watching it and the first space that's the one that
Speaker 1: you're pregnant started filling up with blue. But you're you're
Speaker 1: looking out for a line, and I'm like, what the funk?
Speaker 1: This is a circle? And I took three and they
Speaker 1: all did that. But then True Blue, guys, that's True
Speaker 1: Blue told me I wasn't pregnant because digital is easier
Speaker 1: for me to read. But I'm like, what what that's
Speaker 1: gonna suck? Never had a pregnancy scare before? But wait,
Speaker 1: are you don't You're on birth control and you also
Speaker 1: always use condoms. But I was like the almost impossible
Speaker 1: Christie you would see. But then I was like the
Speaker 1: blow that I have. I don't think I've ever had
Speaker 1: that kind of bloat before. But it's because my dad
Speaker 1: ad cooked us Blue Apron with pork and I only pork.
Speaker 1: But we're gonna have to edit that now. I felt
Speaker 1: so bad because he worked so hard on it. I'm
Speaker 1: so proud of it. He played it and drizzled it
Speaker 1: with ship and I was like, okay, I'll eat it.
Speaker 1: And then so it's just pork. Guys, we podcast, we'll
Speaker 1: talk about your counch, but we won't bad mouth Blue Apron.
Speaker 1: They're a wonderful company. I feel like I feel like
Speaker 1: so wait, bow I around of applause. Who's just here
Speaker 1: because they love comedy and we're curious. Okay, Oh that's so.
Speaker 1: I feel like those people they want they're like, let
Speaker 1: me give these slots of chance comment and we spend
Speaker 1: the first ten minutes just talking about periods and bloating,
Speaker 1: and they're like, I didn't want it to be this,
Speaker 1: but it was this here getting us, letting you down.
Speaker 1: So at the top of the podcast, we always read
Speaker 1: emails from listeners who write us with problems, array of
Speaker 1: problems that we get every day. You know my you
Speaker 1: know I want to do anial, but I don't want
Speaker 1: to shoot the bed problems two more serious ones. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I was like shooting the bed during anal right up
Speaker 1: there with Syria, it's just, oh, is that too much
Speaker 1: for you? Are we in Canada? Now? Don't say theory
Speaker 1: that's racist. I don't even believe she said. Syria like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna totally tweet her about this when I get
Speaker 1: a share tweeter crying emoj wait, what did you say?
Speaker 1: She gotta be a chair? And no one clapped, and
Speaker 1: I was like, come on, what are you clap for her? Well?
Speaker 1: I was going through a struggle. You were you were
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, because I was gonna I felt bad,
Speaker 1: but I was like, I'm going to have to go
Speaker 1: up to the higher seat at one point. But now
Speaker 1: the guest is just going to be above like he
Speaker 1: is in the comedy rankings. Anyways, that's fine, right, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. It'll be kind of like the Olympics
Speaker 1: because you know you win, because they're like, just in
Speaker 1: case you didn't know that I won, the goal, that's
Speaker 1: going to stand above you and then sit there. Well,
Speaker 1: my national anthem plays fuck face. I like it. It's
Speaker 1: like kind of demeaning. It's nice. So is there anyone
Speaker 1: in the audience who would be interested in coming up
Speaker 1: on stage and telling us all about their problems, whether
Speaker 1: it be serious like I don't want to doing all
Speaker 1: sex and ship the bed, or was serious like sexual assault.
Speaker 1: We talked about that all the time. Unfortunately, because it happens. Shit,
Speaker 1: I don't I can't see whatever whatever it is right here?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, you we taw you before the show. Come
Speaker 1: up on stage. I mean, this feels fake, but it's not.
Speaker 1: Thank you. This is great. What's your name? Karen? Karen?
Speaker 1: Is that beautiful. Okay, thank you, said, give her a
Speaker 1: round of Applaus. Yeah, we just we just changed the
Speaker 1: whole thing. Hi, how are you? What's your name? Hi?
Speaker 1: I'm good, Um, I'm glad. I want so much makeup tonight.
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting expecting this quite the crowd, right. What's
Speaker 1: your name? Um? Sean? Sean? Hi Sean. That's what I
Speaker 1: was gonna guess. I was like, you look like a
Speaker 1: Sean or to one of them? I usually got Kevin,
Speaker 1: but Sean is Kevin? Why? I don't know? People tell
Speaker 1: me I looked like a Kevin. I want to name
Speaker 1: my dog Kevin, so that when I yelled at it,
Speaker 1: I feel like Katherine or heron home alone, yelling at
Speaker 1: her side. You know, So, what's up? What's going on? What? Probably?
Speaker 1: Do you need help? Salvin? I've I've been single for
Speaker 1: a while and I would I would like your guys
Speaker 1: advice on meeting the right Wait for it, woman, I
Speaker 1: was gonna say which one you like to find? I
Speaker 1: was gonna guess, Yeah. When you introduce yourself for Shawn,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you're like an Eddie azard but
Speaker 1: um less famous. What would you classify your do you are?
Speaker 1: You in the lgbt Q, I a element of p
Speaker 1: spectrum or do you are we all at this point? Basically? Um,
Speaker 1: when people ask me to describe myself, I would say
Speaker 1: kinky funster. Kinky funster sounds awesome. Oh like sexually, I thought,
Speaker 1: just like just in general, like you're applying for a job, Sean,
Speaker 1: tell us a little, Sean, and I got dope shoes. Now, Sean,
Speaker 1: do you dress like this all the time? No? No,
Speaker 1: you did it for unce. Thank you, You're you're welcome.
Speaker 1: If I knew it was going to be this hot,
Speaker 1: I would not have worn these types. Oh yeah, those
Speaker 1: are winter types, I know, Sean. That's that's the thing
Speaker 1: thing I I don't. I don't shave. I don't shave
Speaker 1: the girls as as I call them, do you shave
Speaker 1: your pubic hare? I take care of it, like I
Speaker 1: I meet any things up? Everyone. Everyone just meeting things
Speaker 1: up now, right? Yeah? Right? Because like when you look
Speaker 1: at you know, like all the girls have the shaved beaf,
Speaker 1: like it's it's a little too much. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: want to no shaved beave right here? How do you
Speaker 1: normally meet women and it's not working? Um, that's a
Speaker 1: good question, because I've I've been in a couple of
Speaker 1: kind of long term relationships and at what point do
Speaker 1: do you meet women usually in in your outfit in
Speaker 1: the wig and stuff, or do you I don't know, Um,
Speaker 1: I've I've done both and expectation and when I when
Speaker 1: I meet them, you know, not like this, when I
Speaker 1: meet them with like uh, you know, five days growth
Speaker 1: and looking like I just played hockey, which you know
Speaker 1: I do. If anyone needs someone on their on their
Speaker 1: team by the way, because I'm looking for a team,
Speaker 1: so if anyone needs needs a sub please So if women,
Speaker 1: are you in a hockey jersey with a beard and
Speaker 1: a wig? Yes, and I've tried both. But when I
Speaker 1: meet women just normally, it's it's a question of how
Speaker 1: soon do I bring up That's what I was gonna ask. Right,
Speaker 1: when you show them your closets beautiful dresses, you're you
Speaker 1: you're transvestite? Yeah, because yeah, tranning. I mean people call
Speaker 1: that the tea words that word, right, but I am one, right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: It's all like a conversation like yeah baby, yeah. So
Speaker 1: at what point when you're dating a woman do you
Speaker 1: tell her that this is something that you like to do,
Speaker 1: that's the question. I've done it early, I've done it late.
Speaker 1: Like it seems like there's no late how yeah, how late?
Speaker 1: Like me and the family at the altar to show
Speaker 1: up in the dress the same outfit. Yeah, there's there's
Speaker 1: a slap fight over No I am wearing that right? No,
Speaker 1: I let's see. I I was married when I was younger,
Speaker 1: and it didn't come up. And how I can't imagine
Speaker 1: why I would be reluctant to bring that up. You
Speaker 1: said it didn't come up. No, you were hiding it. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: that's just never came up. I was in a dress
Speaker 1: that you didn't even care asked what so? But where
Speaker 1: where was all your stuff? I didn't have had a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff, okay, because I was I was I
Speaker 1: was married very young. I was married very young. Okay.
Speaker 1: And when did you start trusting as a woman? Sometimes
Speaker 1: like sometimes I gave you mean like eleven, when I
Speaker 1: would start like stealing my mom's underpants, that's sometimes I
Speaker 1: guess that's when you developed the desire to like bes clothing, right, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like this is this is I'm a freak.
Speaker 1: What what the hell is going on here? And what's
Speaker 1: wrong with me? Right, and then you grew up and
Speaker 1: you're like, nothing's wrong with me. I'm gonna wear a dress,
Speaker 1: fuck you, or at least that not what's wrong with me? Right?
Speaker 1: Maybe there are maybe are huge a ship in other ways. Right, See,
Speaker 1: I think he was hearing in on y. I have
Speaker 1: trouble meeting women. I have a huge piece of ship
Speaker 1: in other ways. And I try and justify and say, hey,
Speaker 1: you it has to be okay because you know this, right,
Speaker 1: I don't know I should never attempt amateur psychology in
Speaker 1: front of three other people. Let's try it whenever you
Speaker 1: gotta try something new. Yeah, well, I mean you're obviously capable.
Speaker 1: You've been in numerous long term relationships. So is there
Speaker 1: a problem now in your life that is unique to
Speaker 1: other periods during your life that you're finding It's I
Speaker 1: haven't been singing for a while. What's a while. I'm
Speaker 1: just within the last year. I'm out of out of
Speaker 1: a long term relationship, not a while. Well, you know, well,
Speaker 1: let's say a year in a bit year and let's
Speaker 1: use metric. We're in candle. Let's say a year into
Speaker 1: hectare or something. You know, how y'all use meters and ship.
Speaker 1: I was like, I have no idea what's happening right now?
Speaker 1: I had to download a converter app on my phone anyway.
Speaker 1: And then, what has been your process to actively meet
Speaker 1: women to ring this period? I go, I go to
Speaker 1: events where people like me would you know, not be
Speaker 1: looked at strangely, and you know, go to kink positive
Speaker 1: fetish positive events. But you know, you know, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think I'm revealing any secrets here,
Speaker 1: but I'm not exactly uh you know spring chicken? Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Does that mean you're old? Yeah? I mean I mean
Speaker 1: it's a wig, not a magic wand it's fine. I
Speaker 1: mean yeah, I mean like, I don't think you're that.
Speaker 1: How old are you? Do mind saying if you don't
Speaker 1: want to, it's okay, oh you know I'm in my
Speaker 1: early forties. Okay, that's not even old enough, but it's
Speaker 1: for to meet you. Do you like meeting younger women?
Speaker 1: I thought so, But when I first became single, like
Speaker 1: I would date, try and you know, rain and try
Speaker 1: and meet women in the twenties and it's like, there's
Speaker 1: there's nothing, like you didn't connect. Yeah, there's there's there's
Speaker 1: no connection. You know, there's nothing there. It's fine. Sorry,
Speaker 1: unless there's you're all out care well, So do you
Speaker 1: think you were like sexually attracted to women in their twenties,
Speaker 1: but then when you try to make it work, there
Speaker 1: was just some Well the last time I was really
Speaker 1: single was in my twenties, so you kind of go
Speaker 1: back right to you know, when you got out of Shaws.
Speaker 1: That's well, in dating has changed so much. Dating I forget, No,
Speaker 1: I'm showing my age like I don't know. No, they're
Speaker 1: just too bad sitting there being like I am twenty
Speaker 1: four and I know a lot. Karin, I am so mad.
Speaker 1: I can't I'm leaving right now, wait till I find
Speaker 1: the perfect meme to capture how I feel right now.
Speaker 1: Nailed it. So, what has been the trouble in the
Speaker 1: past year that you've been single that you run it?
Speaker 1: What's like, what's the block that you want? It's like
Speaker 1: it's connecting. I mean, I guess it's like the same.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's there's this dual layer of finding someone
Speaker 1: that accepts kind of this, yeah, of course, and you
Speaker 1: connect with and who is aged because I mean, it
Speaker 1: seems like a lot of sort of age appropriate and
Speaker 1: this I guess a lot of guys who are singling
Speaker 1: with fourties would kind of feel that way. You know,
Speaker 1: every you know, most most women, you know, once they
Speaker 1: get in their thirties there with someone and uh then
Speaker 1: you know, once they're in there, you know, I guess
Speaker 1: late forties aren't with something. So it's kind of I'm
Speaker 1: hitting that dual kind of problem of being in that
Speaker 1: early forties age range. Of course, you know, of course
Speaker 1: I don't look I didn't like it great. Um what
Speaker 1: about have you ever like hung out in like a
Speaker 1: court where they get divorces, because that's what I would do,
Speaker 1: just and just hang around outside and just yeah. I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, you're right, you want to get a
Speaker 1: cup of coffee and talk about this. But it's kind
Speaker 1: of being in changed. But and the women I have met,
Speaker 1: they're kind of too freaky for me because I'm like, I'm,
Speaker 1: as you said earlier, like how do I hear some
Speaker 1: audience reaction? How is so freaky? The fuck? What do
Speaker 1: you mean by that? Um? As as you asked her,
Speaker 1: I don't dress like this all the time. I I
Speaker 1: walk around Lloyd looking like a poor man's like Russell
Speaker 1: Crowe most of the time. That's very generous, right, I said,
Speaker 1: a poor a Canadian poor man's Russell Crowe. I think
Speaker 1: you look great game, So I mean, I guess I
Speaker 1: could say you're okay. So at these at these like
Speaker 1: kink events that you go to that you say, are
Speaker 1: you're accepted by other people like you? Do you? Are
Speaker 1: you dressed like this? Are you just like Sean? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: I'm dressed like this. Okay, So I kin, But I
Speaker 1: think I think that's the problem. I see, I Eddie Iszard.
Speaker 1: I'm so I want to suck the sh out of
Speaker 1: Eddie Izzard in that whatever outfit, probably more in the
Speaker 1: lady outfit, honestly. Like so, I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people are totally open to that um. But I think
Speaker 1: it's hard to because like this feels like a costume.
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like I'm meeting a real person. It
Speaker 1: feels like I'm meeting kind of like a caricature. So
Speaker 1: I think if you I don't, I think you can
Speaker 1: eat not easily. But I don't think it's like impossible
Speaker 1: to find someone who's into this. Like I would totally
Speaker 1: date someone who was a transvestate, but I would not,
Speaker 1: especially because of the kind of transvest that you are
Speaker 1: more of like an over the top yeah, like if
Speaker 1: it's like because Eddie is a kind of is like
Speaker 1: you know, just like a little eyeliner Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and like a suit that's kind of cute. But this
Speaker 1: is like very cost to me, and that's awesome and
Speaker 1: I would totally be fine with it. But to meet
Speaker 1: you like this, it just feels like a weird Halloween
Speaker 1: hookup or something like. It doesn't. I don't feel like
Speaker 1: I'm meeting you. I feel like you're hiding behind something.
Speaker 1: That's how I would feel. What do you think do you
Speaker 1: you already? Do you think you're hiding behind that? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I've had some great weird Halloween hookups, but
Speaker 1: but they they just haven't land to anything. That's I
Speaker 1: guess the thing that that that I run into um
Speaker 1: because I'm also like, uh, like I'm a performer and
Speaker 1: this kind of feels like a mask to me in
Speaker 1: a way that you're dating. But you don't want the
Speaker 1: mask on your dating. You want to be vulnerable because
Speaker 1: that's what someone's going to be attracted to is your
Speaker 1: vulnerability and who you really are. Like this is part
Speaker 1: of who you are, absolutely, but who is who are?
Speaker 1: Who is Sean? Who is your heart? You know, like
Speaker 1: your soul and stuff? Yeah, yeah, and then you can
Speaker 1: like slowly introduce something like this or like, uh, take
Speaker 1: the woman too a place where maybe trans of estates
Speaker 1: are but you are not trusted up and kind of
Speaker 1: like baby steps because I think people a lot of
Speaker 1: people are really open to things, but it's just a
Speaker 1: lot to digest all at once, because dating already is
Speaker 1: so scary for so many people. I hate going on dates,
Speaker 1: and like if I showed up and you were like this,
Speaker 1: I would just be like fuck me, Like, like Sean,
Speaker 1: now what you were wearing the fucking picture? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: if I got to know you, yeah. Well it's interesting
Speaker 1: because I've I've had to Tinder. I've had a Tinder
Speaker 1: profile like this, and I've had a Tinder profile as Sean.
Speaker 1: But I would never show up like this. If someone
Speaker 1: thinks Sean showing up of course has a dickhead move right,
Speaker 1: yeah right, I mean yeah, but I'd also love to
Speaker 1: see the person's face. But also have you done a
Speaker 1: profile out that shows both That's I guess that's a
Speaker 1: little Why wouldn't you do that is that in the bio,
Speaker 1: just be like there are there's been hints. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean like, what's you gotta be you gotta be
Speaker 1: up front? Yeah, you know ken walk in heels and
Speaker 1: you know, just or just that sounds like a joke,
Speaker 1: that sounds like some dude. It's being like I love
Speaker 1: your dress, getting her on and just being condescending or something, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, just maybe like something like interested in an
Speaker 1: alternative lifestyle whatever the PC bullshit way of saying that.
Speaker 1: Because the thing is, anybody who leads a lifestyle that's
Speaker 1: that's taboo whenever they're up front about it. No matter
Speaker 1: how I feel about whatever taboo that is, it's it's
Speaker 1: automatically sexy. We're upfront and they don't give a fuck
Speaker 1: about what you think. I'm Sean. Sometimes I like to
Speaker 1: wear a dress in a wig and it's awesome. And
Speaker 1: then sometimes I have a beard in a hockey jersey
Speaker 1: and I'm a Canadian b game little crow and it's
Speaker 1: also awesome. Yeah, and like I can still fund the
Speaker 1: ship out of you. Yeah. So being confident in both
Speaker 1: those parts, I think it is automatically sexy because it
Speaker 1: takes a lot of women like confidence and what takes
Speaker 1: more confidence than a straight man dressing up as a
Speaker 1: woman and all, yeah that dude, a man who can
Speaker 1: walk in heels and wear a dress. Yeah you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I think, just yeah, just stop, don't hide behind this.
Speaker 1: This is something great and wonderful and you shouldn't be
Speaker 1: ashamed of it. And someone's gonna be totally cool with it,
Speaker 1: but you gotta work up to it and most importantly
Speaker 1: let them know you first, Like what would you say,
Speaker 1: Like you just say, like third date, fourth dates like
Speaker 1: wakes too long because then it feels like you're like
Speaker 1: it makes it makes you feel like you're a liar
Speaker 1: even though you're not. It just makes then because like
Speaker 1: if things are going well and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: like you're like, yeah, I gotta tell you something like
Speaker 1: that's no one likes to hear that. Just tell it
Speaker 1: sooner rather than later. Yeah. I would bring up in
Speaker 1: a playful way, like oh, are you into like weird
Speaker 1: like sex stuff, like kinky stuff, because I'm kind of
Speaker 1: into things that I would love to tell you about
Speaker 1: it if you're interested in the community or whatever, Like
Speaker 1: just intrigue her and then lead her into like this
Speaker 1: is the other world, the other b Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: think you're you've been around for you know, forty some
Speaker 1: of the years that you can you can gauge, but
Speaker 1: you can, you can you can gauge like what kind
Speaker 1: of a person I'm sure who's going to be more
Speaker 1: open to this and then someone who's not, like you know,
Speaker 1: you can just you can tell who you feel comfortable.
Speaker 1: And of course sometimes you're pleasantly surprised and sometimes you're
Speaker 1: unpleasantly surprised. But if you if you have the inclination,
Speaker 1: that is a safe person to tell, you're probably right
Speaker 1: and you should trust your guy. Cool. Well, thanks, thanks,
Speaker 1: give it up for Sean than Sean appreciate it. It's
Speaker 1: so nice meeting you. Uh, okay, real quick because I'm
Speaker 1: also trying to develop kind of a web series based
Speaker 1: on my trendy experiences Don't plug Ship, did Too Shut
Speaker 1: the Bunk Up? Serious? It doesn't exist yet, but trying
Speaker 1: to develop it. And if anybody any back is in
Speaker 1: the room, If anybody here's your podcast is interested, I've
Speaker 1: made a pilot episode. I'm trying to get funding to
Speaker 1: make more. They can email me at Candy land Web
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com Is that also the email for
Speaker 1: your dating profile or that's not right like that, because
Speaker 1: that might think I've been found out. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: Thank you, thanks very much. Give it up stage. Are
Speaker 1: you all right? No spills please? All right, guys, we're
Speaker 1: gonna bring on our guests. Yes, he is a legendary
Speaker 1: stand up comedian. Yes, we're so excited. He hasn't so
Speaker 1: many great stories. He has a show coming out on
Speaker 1: i f C this November that he'll tell you all
Speaker 1: about the first thing to talk about sex. Please give
Speaker 1: it up for data. Good. Hey missed you. Another dude
Speaker 1: wore my outfit rantically changed. I admired. I admired that
Speaker 1: a lot. Yeah. Famous, Yes, a great movie too. So
Speaker 1: we were talking backstage, and we also had this conversation
Speaker 1: with Sewn on stage about pubic hair. We went and
Speaker 1: how it's like a little Yeah, it came up because
Speaker 1: I was eating a salad that had too many uh
Speaker 1: little things on the top pan sprouts, and then thank you,
Speaker 1: Yeah it looked like you just ate a pussy basically. Um.
Speaker 1: But then we were like, oh, it looked like I
Speaker 1: was eating she hulks vaginas. But I guess when you
Speaker 1: were single after not being single for a long time.
Speaker 1: When you were dating, you realize this trend in pubic hare, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I you know, I was. I got married in
Speaker 1: two thousand and we were together for twelve years, and
Speaker 1: then after my divorce, I dated somebody immediately, for which
Speaker 1: not smart, like, how immediately did you know her before
Speaker 1: the divorce? Uh? Yeah, no, friend of a friend and
Speaker 1: they were getting divorced at the same time. And I
Speaker 1: just said, oh, if you ever wanted and want to
Speaker 1: trade war stories, we can. And then we ended up.
Speaker 1: And then the next thing, you know, old Jed's a
Speaker 1: millionaire and uh. And then that ended amicably, I was
Speaker 1: told and uh, and then I was out in the
Speaker 1: dating pool not too much. And but yeah, I just
Speaker 1: never encountered uh that one time. And I just found
Speaker 1: it strange and that it is nearly universal that at
Speaker 1: some point in between when I got married and now,
Speaker 1: women said collectively, you know what guys really like when
Speaker 1: you look like a giant baby with tits and I
Speaker 1: and I don't know these girls like, yeah, I'm saying enough,
Speaker 1: I'm saying that's not good. And as a father of
Speaker 1: for me, I can always speak for yourself. I have
Speaker 1: three daughters. So the last time I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: please talk right about your daughters. So the last time
Speaker 1: I saw one that looked like that, it was covered
Speaker 1: in its own poop as it should be, should be
Speaker 1: one and it's coming to poop. You sick. Take a
Speaker 1: step back. You have yourselves some questions, maybe reevaluate, you know,
Speaker 1: I really shouldn't be cleaning this up. Have you ever
Speaker 1: shut yourself? I have? I did, just now just the
Speaker 1: memory of it, well, that's you know, bears, bears think.
Speaker 1: Bears think that we all walk around with shit in
Speaker 1: our pants because everyone they've ever caught. Oh. I was like.
Speaker 1: First I was like, do you mean the animal or
Speaker 1: like a big gay man? And then I was like,
Speaker 1: oh big guys, same probably same result. They're just like, well,
Speaker 1: let's just eat the top half. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, this is a joke. I get it. I
Speaker 1: love that you poop when you die and you poop
Speaker 1: when you give birth. Yes, you pop in your diet,
Speaker 1: your bodies way of going to that's all folks. But
Speaker 1: at the end, it really kills the end of every
Speaker 1: romantic movie like I Love You. It really ruins love story.
Speaker 1: Love means never having to say soup. Have you ever
Speaker 1: been in a relationship and the person you were with
Speaker 1: just did something that gross you out that you really
Speaker 1: had a hard time being attracted to him after that?
Speaker 1: Uh no, that's usually me. What do you do? What
Speaker 1: do you do? Well, here's one my no, I'm i'm
Speaker 1: far too clean, I've you've never I mean you like
Speaker 1: far in front of your significant other. Right, Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a there's a time when it's a sad day
Speaker 1: when the farthhold goes away, when the when the early
Speaker 1: relationship farthhold has to be dismissed and you go down
Speaker 1: to a lake and you put it on a raft
Speaker 1: and then you like the raft on fire and set
Speaker 1: it out. Well, the first fart in a relationship is
Speaker 1: the start of the down. That's really true. Yeah, especially
Speaker 1: if you're sitting, especially sitting on their shoulders. Um, that's
Speaker 1: not good. But but yeah, no, there's there's uh yeah,
Speaker 1: there's the far ahold. My friend got married and like
Speaker 1: literally the like the day after he got married, he
Speaker 1: fell off some bleachers brow both of his arms, and
Speaker 1: his wife had to wipe his ass for like six weeks.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. The first six weeks he gets better.
Speaker 1: I swear it gets better. I mean, yeah, could it really? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I could do that. I really just sent Stephen, but
Speaker 1: I really just sick a moment now. And I thought
Speaker 1: about it, and I was like, I could do that.
Speaker 1: I thought about it. I was like, Na, that's where
Speaker 1: I get off the train. I mean, like like like
Speaker 1: any like not even. I mean, here's the difference between
Speaker 1: having children and not having children. Oh, I have poop
Speaker 1: on my hands, or you have kids, you've gotten you've
Speaker 1: had poop on your hands. Well, I remember the first
Speaker 1: time I got my own poop on my hands. What
Speaker 1: kind of night was? Please tell me? It was during
Speaker 1: a game off. I bet I can shoop on my hands,
Speaker 1: because on the hands first wins. No. I was just
Speaker 1: wiping my butt, like just boring. No. And that's how
Speaker 1: I knew my mother was a good mother, because or
Speaker 1: like the greatest mother and getting poop on my hands
Speaker 1: and maybe not want to have kids because my mom
Speaker 1: said to me, even President Clinton, it was buill at
Speaker 1: the time, even President Clinton has gotten poop on his hands.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what a great response. And then
Speaker 1: I never felt bad about getting poop on my hands anymore.
Speaker 1: And also I was like, oh, I would have never
Speaker 1: thought of that. I would have just been like, you're disgusting,
Speaker 1: so I shouldn't have kids. And now, and now that
Speaker 1: we know what we know about President Clinton, it might
Speaker 1: have come moments after he said, come on, poop on
Speaker 1: my hand. I'm just doing I'm just just cutting off tension,
Speaker 1: just release in tension to poop on my hand. Do
Speaker 1: you raising daughters? Is that scary to you? I've had
Speaker 1: conversations with people that that's great, Like, I'm scared. I
Speaker 1: don't want to have a girl. I wanta have a
Speaker 1: boy because I don't want to raise a girl in
Speaker 1: this type of world. I mean it's awful. That's awful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some yeah, it's awful. I can't go there. The world
Speaker 1: is so terribly well. How old are your daughters? T fourteen? Okay?
Speaker 1: Have you do you? Do you have the sex talk
Speaker 1: with them? When? When do you do? What? Do you
Speaker 1: wait for them to do something or do they ask? Never?
Speaker 1: You're just sending him out into the world. Leave. I
Speaker 1: just leave out a stack of magazines. Their their mom,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I think their mom probably maybe hopefully
Speaker 1: that's why we've got We've had that discussion gonna because
Speaker 1: I don't want to. Yeah, why don't we want to
Speaker 1: talk to your aout. We're thinking of just telling the
Speaker 1: seven year old and maybe she'll like It'll be a
Speaker 1: game of telephone and hopefully accurate. But here's something really awful.
Speaker 1: This is true, some real awful things. You have this
Speaker 1: whole generation of kids that are being you know, kids
Speaker 1: have access to porn way too much. Yeah, the internet
Speaker 1: computer back there, someone is still using a typewriter computers.
Speaker 1: That's one of the things that horrifies me. But the
Speaker 1: idea of having a daughter. They have access to porn
Speaker 1: way too soon, and they get way too much of it,
Speaker 1: and the kids are growing with a very warped perspective
Speaker 1: of what sex and intimacy means. There is like a
Speaker 1: lot of young guys I think it's normal to choke
Speaker 1: or strangle a woman during It's really she loves being Oh,
Speaker 1: but you know you need to give a heads up.
Speaker 1: You can't just choke a bit, you know, But we
Speaker 1: would be terrible because I love giving the heim legs.
Speaker 1: So it's actually just a perfect, perfectly wrong. It's funny.
Speaker 1: I think about that a lot like I didn't grow
Speaker 1: up with with the Internet on my phone until I
Speaker 1: was in college, I think, and I saw porn early
Speaker 1: on on my dad's compete and sucked me up, and
Speaker 1: I got so much less of it than the the
Speaker 1: amount of teenagers now are getting. I cannot imagine. And
Speaker 1: I mean, we've all porton has to end at a
Speaker 1: certain point. I don't know, We're well, I think it
Speaker 1: would be great at the end of every here will
Speaker 1: be the end of porn if at the end of
Speaker 1: every scene they just put birth footage. If they had
Speaker 1: them part nine months later and then the baby's born,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, but good idea. Da But but I
Speaker 1: you know, at a certain point, it's just getting so
Speaker 1: you're getting into the old Tom Waite's joke. At what
Speaker 1: point do we get girls without skin? I mean, there's
Speaker 1: only so much more they can do, just to like
Speaker 1: a skeleton in a sea of static. I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: they came out with a sex doll something some kind
Speaker 1: I forget which country, and they they shot a video
Speaker 1: of the prototype and it looked like a woman. I'm like, Oh,
Speaker 1: every dude's gonna want to get that, and then no
Speaker 1: one then he could do whatever, and no one's gonna
Speaker 1: say no. Yeah, that might be the end of over population. True,
Speaker 1: good point. Actually, I think it was China that was
Speaker 1: doing it well. In China. China. See, here's the problem
Speaker 1: with China. They had no listen up Canada, my well,
Speaker 1: here's the great In China to curb over population, they
Speaker 1: had the one child policy, so they said, you only
Speaker 1: have one job. But in China, culturally they honor boys.
Speaker 1: And what happens is if you're a young man and
Speaker 1: you get married your wife and you live and take
Speaker 1: care of your parents, and the wife's parents can go
Speaker 1: funk themselves, and so a lot of families that have
Speaker 1: a girl and they go, no, we don't want a girl,
Speaker 1: we want a boy because we want to retire someday.
Speaker 1: And so the girl would then be left on the
Speaker 1: steps of an orphanage and maybe adopted by somebody like me. Um.
Speaker 1: And that wasn't my daughters are from China. Everyone was
Speaker 1: just like, is this going into a pedophile thing? No, no,
Speaker 1: my daughters are no, No, my children not. But what
Speaker 1: you have as a result in China is a large
Speaker 1: population of men who don't have women around because the
Speaker 1: population is so skewed towards men. It's like seven to
Speaker 1: three or something like that. Uh. And so you have
Speaker 1: a large population of men who have access to nuclear
Speaker 1: weapons and no access to that. Yeah. So that's a problem,
Speaker 1: which is why I'm investing in the Vegas to Beijing
Speaker 1: hooker channel, which I think is good. Yeah. Uh. But
Speaker 1: also that's really empowered women in China. It was odd
Speaker 1: because it was very patriarchal society, but now women have
Speaker 1: all this were because they are in charge of supply
Speaker 1: and demand. Oh the law of unintended consequence. Yeah, damn, well,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's ironic that women can rise to power
Speaker 1: in the society where they mostly get left on stairs
Speaker 1: when their babies. And that's what it takes to get
Speaker 1: us a fucking world. Yeah. You have a lot of
Speaker 1: time to think when you're on a staircase. So I'm
Speaker 1: out here, I guess I'm gonna make a plan. Well,
Speaker 1: the New York and l A women have to pay
Speaker 1: money to go on stairs that lead nowhere, right right? Yeah.
Speaker 1: Um what's how did you learn about sex as a kid?
Speaker 1: Where did you get a sex talk? Oh? I did, um?
Speaker 1: I did? Uh. I remember very specifically in second grade
Speaker 1: walking home from school with my friends. I lived in
Speaker 1: a small town, and we walked to school, and I
Speaker 1: remember saying, quite quite adamantly, when they have intercourse, it's
Speaker 1: a baby. And when they have a blowjob, that's where,
Speaker 1: in the parlance of the day, retarded babies come from.
Speaker 1: I was nine. I was nine, So you didn't want
Speaker 1: blow jobs? Then? No way, damn nine year old. This
Speaker 1: is the belief of a nine year old girls p
Speaker 1: out of their butt. So yeah. And then I asked
Speaker 1: my mom where babies came from, and she said it
Speaker 1: in the most perfunctory way possible and went back to
Speaker 1: vacuum cleaning. Everyone's like, what is profunctory? Mean? Dad puts
Speaker 1: his dad puts his thing in mommy's thing. Wait, were
Speaker 1: you freaked out when you first learned that sex? But
Speaker 1: you're the one who inserts it's scarier, you're not your mom.
Speaker 1: Well you don't want anybody doing in your mom when
Speaker 1: you're nine? Amazing? Well so, and you're you had a
Speaker 1: Catholic upbringing, right, and you were an altar boy? Is that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And yet nothing I was gonna say, did you leave untouched?
Speaker 1: Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. You weren't hot enough? Exactly?
Speaker 1: That merely made me tell my appeal. Did you can't
Speaker 1: get If you can't get laid as an altar boy
Speaker 1: in the Boston Archdiocese in the nine eighties, you are
Speaker 1: doing something wrong. Yeah, as my friend Larry Brown would say,
Speaker 1: I couldn't get laid into women's present with the fistful
Speaker 1: of pardons. Did you do? Was that even a situation
Speaker 1: that you were aware of when you were a kid
Speaker 1: that was happening? No, well, we all knew that priests
Speaker 1: were funny, that's what they call me. Yeah, but but
Speaker 1: there was we were pretty secure and what what did
Speaker 1: what types of things did you learn about sexuality through Catholicism? Uh?
Speaker 1: That it was funny because I feel like I know
Speaker 1: the answer. But there was this yeah oh yeah, um
Speaker 1: that women have a bum in their front um. No,
Speaker 1: it was. It was the most horribly repressive bass acwords,
Speaker 1: no pun intended. Uh, sexual education. My dad had a
Speaker 1: ton of porn and that's really where I did it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's probably he kept it under his bureau.
Speaker 1: And it was even it wasn't even playboy. It was penthouse,
Speaker 1: which is a lot more at the town. At the time,
Speaker 1: it was a lot of you know, it looked like
Speaker 1: it just looked like somebody dropped some cold cuts vagina. Yeah, exactly, Like,
Speaker 1: but were you scared of the vagina? Oh no, it was.
Speaker 1: It was always awesome. But I think that that's why
Speaker 1: I'm so predisposed to not like women with no hair
Speaker 1: in their body, because I grew up in late seventies
Speaker 1: penthouse porn. That's so interesting, where every girl looked like, uh,
Speaker 1: Lenny Kravitz was tying their shoes. Sorry, I had to
Speaker 1: think when I started the sentence, Well, I think it's
Speaker 1: so interesting when young boys see breasts or vagina for
Speaker 1: the first time, when even when they're nine, they're like whoa,
Speaker 1: But when a young girl sees a dick, she's like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I never was like yeah dick. Yeah. I feel
Speaker 1: like I gotta go like this to it. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, it's just natural. So I've never met a
Speaker 1: girl that describes the early like magnetism towards it part
Speaker 1: and and that's to stay on that. And that's like
Speaker 1: the weird thing about manscaping diape. No grow up, not
Speaker 1: every care of yourself, not everything. Not everything has to
Speaker 1: be cute, true, Okay, chicken parts, it looks like chicken parts. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't need it to look like chicken parts and
Speaker 1: telephone at the store. I'm finally the looking like chicken
Speaker 1: parts that have been thrown on the floor of a
Speaker 1: busy barber shop. But however, I'm not turning you gals
Speaker 1: on too much out there, Ladies, don't slide off your
Speaker 1: seat too fast. Okay, I'm someone's into it. I looked
Speaker 1: like I look like a munchee cheet. But wait, some
Speaker 1: people trimm now to make their dick look bigger. If
Speaker 1: you need look plant, I should come. I could go
Speaker 1: on that. I'm not gonna go some of us. Don't
Speaker 1: lift because you have a big dick because I have
Speaker 1: a magnifying glass as a bell buckle. Throw it down
Speaker 1: because you've never shaved your pubes. No, I mean, I
Speaker 1: keep it neat so it doesn't look like an aerial photo. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't want it to look like an aerial photo
Speaker 1: of the Jackson five. But I just want to keep
Speaker 1: asking you strange. Um, Okay, I got crabs when I
Speaker 1: was ye know, you just going right, and so we
Speaker 1: got crabs when you were fourteen. I got crabs five
Speaker 1: years before I got laid because my brother was home
Speaker 1: from the army and slept in my bed. Crabs. No,
Speaker 1: And I didn't know what was going on. I know,
Speaker 1: I got crabs from my brother Mike. Uh. I didn't
Speaker 1: know what was going on. And I was really itching.
Speaker 1: And then there's little flecks of blood in your underwear,
Speaker 1: and I went because the crabs are pinching you. Because
Speaker 1: they yeah, they always So I went to my mom. Mom, uh,
Speaker 1: and she said, talk to your dad. And my dad
Speaker 1: laughed and said, I had the quote sabretooth crutch crickets.
Speaker 1: That's what your dad told you, and send me on
Speaker 1: my bike to the pharmacy called a two thousand, which
Speaker 1: was the dead crab. But you would think what I
Speaker 1: didn't realize until I was older, how poorly he performed
Speaker 1: as a parent in some areas. Um, did you ever
Speaker 1: get piste off of Mike for that ship? No? I
Speaker 1: didn't even go there. I went right I went right
Speaker 1: to I went right to my parents. Lack of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you should have you should have stepped you should have
Speaker 1: stepped in. Yeah, and made this a little easier on me.
Speaker 1: I will say this. Uh. No, he by that time,
Speaker 1: I think he had gone back to back to base.
Speaker 1: He was in the army. But I will say this,
Speaker 1: it did give me a herculean load of shame and
Speaker 1: really turned I've spun that into comedic gold. So maybe
Speaker 1: you're a comedian because he got crabs with fourteen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's my first entourage. So we're through that experience. In
Speaker 1: what other ways? Did you realize that your dad fell short? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because where's the shame coming? Just like everyone well, making
Speaker 1: me wait till the hockey game was over before he
Speaker 1: took me to the hospital to get my broken collar
Speaker 1: bones set. Does that come into play? Yeah, yeah it was,
Speaker 1: and its blues. It was the Bruins blues. I mean,
Speaker 1: I do understand it in retrospect. He wasn't interested in
Speaker 1: being a dad. He was interested in being your friend
Speaker 1: if you were into what he was into. He was
Speaker 1: just the generation was just a generational thing. I love
Speaker 1: my dad. He's eighty five, he's still going and he's
Speaker 1: really changed as a person. Somebody just led a balloon
Speaker 1: to um. Uh No, he's really changed. He's he's he's
Speaker 1: changed a lot as a as a person. Um to
Speaker 1: his to his credit, but um, he was not the
Speaker 1: most active parent as a kid. And I was the
Speaker 1: fifth of six, So I was basically, if I wasn't
Speaker 1: on fire, I was left alone pretty much. And once
Speaker 1: I knew where his porn was, it wasn't long before
Speaker 1: my penis looked like the handlebar grip of a child's bike.
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you said, child. Yeah, we need to
Speaker 1: get that in. Did you get the pages of your
Speaker 1: dad's porno stuck together? No? You don't jizz on the book.
Speaker 1: Oh you know that's like sacred, like you keep that
Speaker 1: out of the way. And I always saw you jis
Speaker 1: in the book or in a sock. No, I think like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: I jis in my girlfriend's conditioner. What nothing? Oh? I
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, do people do it? Should
Speaker 1: I be looking out for that? No, I mean, if
Speaker 1: you see it, but there seems to be more conditioner
Speaker 1: than yesterday. Do you know because your dad was less actress?
Speaker 1: I just made it up. It's a ha ha y'all,
Speaker 1: it's just working with you, ha ha ha dot com.
Speaker 1: It was fine. Yeah. Do you wait? So are you
Speaker 1: trying to like, do you feel like you compensate with
Speaker 1: your relationship with your daughters because your dad was less active?
Speaker 1: Or totally yes? What kinds of what kinds of things
Speaker 1: are important for you as a dad to let your
Speaker 1: daughter know were things to do with your daughters. What's
Speaker 1: this sounds so yourself serving. I'm a really active I'm
Speaker 1: very uh in the life. I was texting them just
Speaker 1: before I came down here. Um, I you know, I'm
Speaker 1: very uh. I know what their homework is, I know
Speaker 1: what sport they're playing. I talked to them every day
Speaker 1: about all that stuff. Their mom and I only live
Speaker 1: five minutes apart, so it's a very amicable situation and
Speaker 1: they go back and forth with with ease and um.
Speaker 1: I also apologize to them when I'm wrong, which I
Speaker 1: think is really important. When I suck up, I really
Speaker 1: made a mistake. Of sorry, that is important. I think
Speaker 1: it's important for them to know that figures and authority
Speaker 1: are full of shit and um, and that includes parents,
Speaker 1: and yeah, well it's it's important to know that your
Speaker 1: parents aren't you think they're these superheroes. You put them
Speaker 1: on a pedestal, and then I feel like a lot
Speaker 1: of parents, like mine, a lot of times didn't apologize
Speaker 1: when they were wrong. So I just thought something was
Speaker 1: wrong with me. You're either going to internalize it or
Speaker 1: your parents going to apologize and then you'll be healthy,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, and Ember And the thing that I
Speaker 1: and so much of it is by example. You know. Um,
Speaker 1: you know my kids are really polite too, people in
Speaker 1: service like waitresses and waiters and stuff like that. They're
Speaker 1: super polite to those people because I am, and I
Speaker 1: would I would hate that more like I don't mind
Speaker 1: you being rude to a cop, but don't be rude
Speaker 1: to a waiter. Yeah. Oh, I always I judge somebody
Speaker 1: by how they treat people in those types of positions,
Speaker 1: because if you're don't be rude to a cop, not
Speaker 1: in America, yeah, um, but yeah, when someone is rude
Speaker 1: to like a waitress and the waitress isn't being rude,
Speaker 1: it's like gross. It's also a great way to get
Speaker 1: pe in your food. Yeah. I was like, it's just
Speaker 1: not smart. Did you get shot? We had to shoot him.
Speaker 1: He was going for his sarcasm. So how is dating after?
Speaker 1: Its great? How do you mean women? Well, I've never um,
Speaker 1: I've never been on any dating website. I haven't done
Speaker 1: any of that, and um, I kind of feel like
Speaker 1: I'm just trained as a husband. That's all I know
Speaker 1: how to do. So you know, I'm just going up
Speaker 1: to women in bar. Excuse me, couldn't help notice, and
Speaker 1: you're sitting there by yourself. But I know we just met,
Speaker 1: but I thought maybe you'd like to tell me what
Speaker 1: I've done wrong. I was wondering if you had a
Speaker 1: long list of chores and errands you'd like me to
Speaker 1: do tomorrow. Uh. And um, yeah, no, it's it's it sucks.
Speaker 1: But I've dating. You know, I've been out of I've
Speaker 1: been out of the game literally for twenty one years,
Speaker 1: literally for twenty one years. Um. And if that's a
Speaker 1: team plus three, um, and you know there's just I
Speaker 1: don't have any game. I don't know if there's a
Speaker 1: league or a stadium. Still, well, how do you pick
Speaker 1: up a woman like you? Like milk? That's usually what
Speaker 1: I Yeah, that's why not working out? Bro? Yeah, um, hey,
Speaker 1: you gotta die of something. There's one no I I've know.
Speaker 1: I actually I just started seeing someone and it's really interesting. Uh.
Speaker 1: They thought our first date was not a date. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they thought it was like, uh, like a business thing
Speaker 1: because they're a writer, like should we should as we
Speaker 1: should have but we should have dinner something and is
Speaker 1: it great? And she just assumed that because I'm a
Speaker 1: writer and she's a writer. It was like, oh, what
Speaker 1: do you work? I was like, why did they think that?
Speaker 1: Because you were like, oh, let's do a business. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't say a dinner and then yeah. And then
Speaker 1: like halfway through I made a joke about it going
Speaker 1: really well, and they went, oh, we were still seeing
Speaker 1: each other. But then it worked out. Yeah, that's great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it could have been horribly embarrassing. Yea, And how do
Speaker 1: you go about so you and your ex wife are
Speaker 1: on are amicable, but like, how do you go about
Speaker 1: introducing or do you at all introduced new that's really well?
Speaker 1: Um it was hard for the first girl woman that
Speaker 1: I dated after well, no girl, it's girl friend. I
Speaker 1: don't like the word girl friend. There's there's no appropriate
Speaker 1: adult female social campaign end. Anytime someone says like this
Speaker 1: is my lady friend, I'm like, please die right now.
Speaker 1: I say, I call her the keeper of my magic
Speaker 1: magic magic with um uh no, there's no applicable term.
Speaker 1: And it was very difficult with the first woman I
Speaker 1: dated because it was actually one of their friends and
Speaker 1: she was thirteen at the time. J K. No, they
Speaker 1: never they never met that because their mom had just
Speaker 1: got in the relationship, so we I kind of let
Speaker 1: that happen and then uh, and they're just getting ready
Speaker 1: to meet the woman that I'm dating. Now first I meet, First,
Speaker 1: I meet the partner I met. My wife's uh personally
Speaker 1: set down. Its fine, let the guy great, what do
Speaker 1: you talk about like us? So now you're yeah, that's
Speaker 1: exactly what my dick was in it your dickson. And
Speaker 1: now that's why if you go down on her, it's
Speaker 1: like you blew me. That was exactly We're gonna dominate
Speaker 1: this presu um. Uh. It was very very very uh
Speaker 1: great because you know, our we didn't get an angry divorce.
Speaker 1: We were just like this is over. Yeah, that's great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we stayed. We decided in January and I, um,
Speaker 1: nothing changed at all until June. We lived together and
Speaker 1: because we wanted to get the kids through school. And
Speaker 1: it wasn't that kind of deal, not very rewarding comedically,
Speaker 1: but I'll take it. And um and uh and so
Speaker 1: now yeah, I met her partner. Is great. Now she's
Speaker 1: gonna meet my partner and uh, they'll have a you know,
Speaker 1: a little chat. It's basically like, you know, the kid
Speaker 1: can't touch a hot stove you know right, No, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's yeah, stuff like that. And you don't want your
Speaker 1: kids around people that aren't responsible, not exciting, not funny. Well,
Speaker 1: when you were when you were dating, when you were single,
Speaker 1: on the scene, how quick would you sleep with someone?
Speaker 1: Oh fast data Google moves. I don't move quickly at all,
Speaker 1: because I'm so terrified of rejection that I usually go,
Speaker 1: I'll wait till it's like, are you know you wait
Speaker 1: till she's about to insert you in her and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's a one spot. And then he's like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go for her. Yeah. I like, I'm so, I'm so.
Speaker 1: I'm so horrified of rejection that I I'm sorry, but rejection.
Speaker 1: I lie that the date is not a date. I'd
Speaker 1: say it's a business date. And then I said, so
Speaker 1: now that you're okay, yeah, and then um, halfway through,
Speaker 1: halfway through sex, I'll say, this is just a CPR class.
Speaker 1: But how can you be a free of rejection? You're
Speaker 1: in the entertainment, That's what this is. Because I get
Speaker 1: it's just a sexual rejection is okay, So what's more vulnerable?
Speaker 1: Rap whistle? Do you think you're attractive? What do you
Speaker 1: think you're attractive? I think I think you're very handsome man,
Speaker 1: if it counts, if I appreciate that very much. I
Speaker 1: think I look like a very handsome toe with a beards.
Speaker 1: Like if there's a toe, i'd be a good looking toe.
Speaker 1: Or maybe you should go on and the good looking hobbit,
Speaker 1: you know, a hobbits hobbit. I know, I don't look.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think one down here rowing
Speaker 1: in the opposite direction. I don't think any comedian thinks
Speaker 1: they're attractive. You're fine. I don't think any I think
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not like you got aute glass staring children. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, I felt like a condom full of walnuts.
Speaker 1: I mean that sounds horrible. I'm finding out more and
Speaker 1: more as we talked to men, like men I think
Speaker 1: are more insecure than women, which is weird because we
Speaker 1: act so repulsed when we when we don't want, when
Speaker 1: we don't want a part of it. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: very few times when a woman is going to approach
Speaker 1: a man and be like, do you want to do something?
Speaker 1: And he's gonna be like, yeah, like we've all we've
Speaker 1: all done you know what that happened to me with
Speaker 1: the ones you did that to you? Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: a little grad When I'm single, i am aggressive? Was
Speaker 1: it like Brad Pitt or like how high were you going?
Speaker 1: It's going pretty high? I was like, how high were
Speaker 1: you based? Stars? And then I land on the moon.
Speaker 1: I'm like, the Moon's great, It's great, like the moon moons.
Speaker 1: I think it's the sick. I think I come off
Speaker 1: to aggressive. Uh when I like a guy, I've I've
Speaker 1: been in a relationship for five years, so it's not,
Speaker 1: you know a problem now. But I think I'm very
Speaker 1: just very direct, and I'm like, I do you want
Speaker 1: to hang out? Do you want to? Maybe I get
Speaker 1: a little clingy actually because I'm like, you wanted me
Speaker 1: to come over, I'll come over. What are you doing?
Speaker 1: Like you're watching TV? Okay, I can't I come over?
Speaker 1: Common day now? I get it? Yeah, I mean, I
Speaker 1: mean I would say a commentating, Hey, just curious if
Speaker 1: I kill you? Do I have become you? How's this work?
Speaker 1: I think women should hit on men more though, I
Speaker 1: think that will first of all, we want to don't
Speaker 1: you agree though? Because it's like Steve and my boyfriend
Speaker 1: always says like, I wish women would hit on men
Speaker 1: more because it's well, usually the women that hit on
Speaker 1: me are wearing a necklace full of eyeless dollheads. I
Speaker 1: can't see that. Um, but I would also wear that necklace. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're a walking Etsy store. Noticing anyone's ever said today,
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest. I was like, I'm obviously a
Speaker 1: walking hot topic. So please here's I will tell you
Speaker 1: a funny, funny story, a true story about my new
Speaker 1: adult female social companion and uh myself what we uh
Speaker 1: went on a cleans because I was, I was. I
Speaker 1: was in Atlanta doing this show that's gonna premiere on
Speaker 1: i FC on Halloween and then we run on November
Speaker 1: two called Stand Against Evil, which is a horror comedy
Speaker 1: and it's really funny and really scary and it's great.
Speaker 1: Saw we didn't. It's so excited for this TV show.
Speaker 1: It's really great. I was in Atlanta for six weeks
Speaker 1: and I got fat as a fucking wood tick because
Speaker 1: we were shooting all night and you're just eating to
Speaker 1: stay awake, and and I'm I was, I'm now one eight.
Speaker 1: I came back at one nine, and so we went, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I looked I was, but I was butter. I looked
Speaker 1: at this. I signed autographs as the Mitchell entire Man.
Speaker 1: People came up to me. Are you are you hit?
Speaker 1: I am him, Michel entire Man. I looked like Louis
Speaker 1: Anderson's shadow and a pond. No, I was, I was.
Speaker 1: I felt awful. So I went on a cleanse, and
Speaker 1: she went on a cleanse with me, although she didn't
Speaker 1: need it, and then we were so hungry for awful
Speaker 1: food that we just started going like I'd like, look
Speaker 1: at a picture of apple pine like, look, I don't
Speaker 1: want to eat I just want to fuck it. I's
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, you know, fuck, She's really funny. She was, yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't fuck that pie, just stick your dig that.
Speaker 1: And then it was just like, oh, you know, like
Speaker 1: a funk right now, a cup of coffee. Oh, because
Speaker 1: we couldn't have coffee on this cleanse. Coffee. No, She's like, oh,
Speaker 1: he just wanted to stick your dick that coffee. Just
Speaker 1: get your balls coffee and paint the kitchen floor with
Speaker 1: your coffee balls. Like oh, yeah, that's what I want
Speaker 1: to do. So this would be the one. It looks
Speaker 1: like hot hot, but that became part of our like
Speaker 1: the way we talk to each other. So now like
Speaker 1: when we go out to eat, we're like anything on
Speaker 1: here you want to funk? Yeah, I like, I like that.
Speaker 1: But it's great. But we can't ever break up because
Speaker 1: that when you bring the old relationship shorthand into the
Speaker 1: new relationships. Just out to dinner with somebody, anything on
Speaker 1: the dessert menu you think you'd like to shove in
Speaker 1: your pussy. Yeah, like she's like my girlfriend food. You're sorry,
Speaker 1: it was really funny. Did you talking about pat Balls?
Speaker 1: She's a real good person. I feel like you're predicting
Speaker 1: the future right now. Yeah. I was like, you gotta
Speaker 1: always explain that. So we have to wrap Upston, but
Speaker 1: I do want to end the I've been a fan
Speaker 1: of yours for a long time. It's true time I
Speaker 1: was and I you now chokey, oh thank you? Um
Speaker 1: not about chokers, about sucking choking during sex. Guy to
Speaker 1: keep up out, I'm too that comes up, and I
Speaker 1: know we're gonna wrap up. Like I'm not like an
Speaker 1: aggressive dude. I'm like every time like a woman is
Speaker 1: like I get a little roughly. Here's my version of roughly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Ah says oh no, I'm like, that's less rough than
Speaker 1: bare knuckle tentative? Is what you get from me? You're
Speaker 1: duty girl. Well, speaking of your dirty go the first
Speaker 1: time I was introduced you, and what made me a
Speaker 1: fan of yours, was the first time I watched you
Speaker 1: doing comedy. You were talking about your experiences at a
Speaker 1: sex dungeon. So I just wanted you to share a
Speaker 1: story with the audience. Um. It was my a different woman,
Speaker 1: I was dating a different woman, um uh. And it
Speaker 1: was my twenty nine birthday and she said, you should
Speaker 1: go get spanked. And I want, oh, dear, don't you're mad?
Speaker 1: You're mad? Um, why don't we just go to the
Speaker 1: club and play crooked? Um? So she took me to
Speaker 1: this bar that had an S and M night in
Speaker 1: West Hollywood, and they had a big like a leather
Speaker 1: padded cross and it was a bar and there was
Speaker 1: like a girl with a flogger and and I was
Speaker 1: really like the same old but I was like I
Speaker 1: was kind of on TV a lot at the time,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't think I can go
Speaker 1: in here. And she goes, who here is gonna know you?
Speaker 1: And here story that's a that's a good part, that's
Speaker 1: a good point. So I went in and I was
Speaker 1: on this dumb cross and a half hearted, half heartedly
Speaker 1: flogging me, and my girlfriend was right there cracking up.
Speaker 1: And then and then well, you know, it's like I
Speaker 1: have four older brothers, Like getting beat up is not
Speaker 1: high on my list of things they still want to do. Right,
Speaker 1: It's like I got this. You know, if I if I,
Speaker 1: if I jacked off on my brothers beat me up,
Speaker 1: I had done the head and had this time years ago. Um,
Speaker 1: that'd be one way of getting out of being bullied anytime. Unch.
Speaker 1: That's such a great anti kerk off on your bullies. Guys.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what a team we are. So long
Speaker 1: story short, while I was getting uh flogged, uh, this
Speaker 1: S and M couple walked up like the guy looked
Speaker 1: like Alice Cooper and the woman looked like she was
Speaker 1: dressed up as the guy dressed up as Alice Cooper
Speaker 1: and they literally walked up to me like two inches
Speaker 1: in my face, like, oh my god, you're Dana could
Speaker 1: you're like my favorite comedian? Like oh, thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you very much. And that's a lesson in sex and
Speaker 1: celebrity etiquette everybody. And the next thing, you know, I
Speaker 1: came like a motherfucker and that's all that. Damn it,
Speaker 1: No you didn't. I was like, what a perfect ending. Jeez. Nice, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for being on Guys Podcast. Where
Speaker 1: can we find you online? What we fighter remind us
Speaker 1: when your show comes out because it looks amazing. Dana
Speaker 1: Gould dot com at Dana Gould on Twitter, Dana Gould
Speaker 1: on Instagram and uh, November two at ten o'clock on
Speaker 1: if C Stand Against Evil. It's really scary and really
Speaker 1: funny at the same time. That's awesome. You need to
Speaker 1: gold hand everybody up. Thank you so much, Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for coming out to just for laughs. We
Speaker 1: want to say hello to everybody, but they have another
Speaker 1: show coming in, so if you want to say hi,
Speaker 1: you can go out to the street until the left
Speaker 1: where the line is not and we'll be right out
Speaker 1: and we'll say hi. And when two shows tomorrow as well,
Speaker 1: one at nine pm and the midnight show is here
Speaker 1: and I think they're still tickets available. That's our touring
Speaker 1: show where we do stand up and all that comes. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: thank you so much to get home safe, have a
Speaker 1: great night. And everybody used to hiccup to my heart.
Speaker 1: You didn't even last very long. All I know is
Speaker 1: I did my part, and now my case of hickups
Speaker 1: is gone. You are a hicup, a hiccup, a hiccup
Speaker 1: to my heart, A hickcup, a hcup, hiccup to my heart.
Speaker 1: It started when you said you needed space. I hadn't
Speaker 1: thought that anything was wrong, but then my head was
Speaker 1: all over the place, and I realized in my heart
Speaker 1: you don't belong. You are a hickup, a hup, a
Speaker 1: hiccup to my heart, a hcup, a hicup. But now
Speaker 1: my case of hickups have gone.