Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, bad bad, bad, bad boys.
Speaker 2: Something's going on with Apple, because no hard drive works
Speaker 2: on any of my computers now. In the past six
Speaker 2: days when they announced that the new phone was coming out,
Speaker 2: shit has been fucking up my external hard drive. I
Speaker 2: can't connect it anymore, and all of a sudden, this
Speaker 2: new update came out today.
Speaker 1: And I'm just saying, so, are you saying there's a conspiracy,
Speaker 1: Donald to make all of your shit not work? Is
Speaker 1: Tim Cook behind this? Donald?
Speaker 2: I don't know if Tim Cook is behind this, but
Speaker 2: I will say this, my wife can't connect to a
Speaker 2: hard drive all of a sudden, Like I don't know
Speaker 2: if everybody else is having this problem.
Speaker 1: In my own mind, I think this might be what's
Speaker 1: called an anecdotal experience. Donald, you are having a problem,
Speaker 1: and you have because you also enjoy the cannabis. You
Speaker 1: think the world is having the same problem.
Speaker 2: I'm asking a question right now, is anyone else having
Speaker 2: problems with there?
Speaker 3: Can?
Speaker 1: Do you want me to get Tim Cook on the
Speaker 1: phone because I do a Tim Cook. I do a
Speaker 1: Tim Cook impression? Can I do a Tim Cook? I
Speaker 1: do it, Tim.
Speaker 3: I'm calling him now, hold on.
Speaker 1: It's similar to the other impression. I do hold Upah,
Speaker 1: go ahead, Hello Donald, This says Tim Cook.
Speaker 3: Tim, how'd you know it was me?
Speaker 1: Because I saw your face come up on my phone?
Speaker 3: What the fuck is going on with the computers right now? Tim?
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 1: Donald? That's just you? Everybody else is fun?
Speaker 2: Really, I find that hard to believe. Daniel was having
Speaker 2: a technical difficulty right before.
Speaker 3: Now we started.
Speaker 1: Daniel is a loyal customer. He would never bespirch my name.
Speaker 3: Tim.
Speaker 1: All right, Tim, all I got. I can only do
Speaker 1: that fifteen.
Speaker 3: That's all I gotta say.
Speaker 1: You don't want that new phone. There's the I saw online.
Speaker 1: There's no difference between except for it. I mean, what's different?
Speaker 3: All the update all the updates came through on the fourteen.
Speaker 1: Look at look at the tective Wizard saying, there's nothing
Speaker 1: different about it.
Speaker 2: All the updates came through on the on the fourteen
Speaker 2: also though, So like if you have fourteen, Yeah, if
Speaker 2: you have a fourteen, and that new download came through,
Speaker 2: all the things that are on the fifteen pretty much
Speaker 2: except for the hardware, all of the software you can
Speaker 2: now run on your fourteen.
Speaker 4: So you're talking about iOS seventeen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So like.
Speaker 2: Computer to compute phone. The phone now that exists on
Speaker 2: your iPhone.
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool. Yeah, I like to think about being
Speaker 1: a listening to video voicemail. I like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that now exists on your iPhone.
Speaker 1: I know, but I haven't updated because everyone said, not everyone,
Speaker 1: I'm doing what you did. An anecdotal incident occurred and
Speaker 1: someone told me, don't update. It's buggy.
Speaker 4: That's that's my mantra for the first couple of weeks
Speaker 4: of any big Apple upgrade. It's like new iOS, like
Speaker 4: I'm going to wait two weeks, yeah, because they'll.
Speaker 3: Release about this.
Speaker 2: How about fuck y'all and not bestowing this information on me.
Speaker 2: I feel like Joel's going through the same shit that
Speaker 2: I'm going through right now, and she is not happy
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 3: Weigh in Joel.
Speaker 1: Joel is shaking her head and eating. Sorry Joe, Joelle,
Speaker 1: please don't eat during the program and the listeners tune
Speaker 1: in from all over the world to hear your life.
Speaker 3: You muck bang all you want muck bang, do.
Speaker 1: Not, Joel. This is not a muck bang podcast.
Speaker 5: I cover the mic, got you away from the mic.
Speaker 5: Hopefully don't hurt me.
Speaker 1: You're doing that.
Speaker 3: I'll cut it out, no, I.
Speaker 5: Thieving happened, and now I'm I'm a little bummed. I
Speaker 5: have not done the Apple update because my phone wasn't
Speaker 5: plugged in last night. I will turn off the automatic
Speaker 5: updates so it's to avoid any bugginess.
Speaker 1: I saw this meme that was funny. It was like,
Speaker 1: how come every time there's an update, Apples tells you like,
Speaker 1: we're going to do an update tonight, and then you
Speaker 1: wake up and it's like, we couldn't do it, and
Speaker 1: it's like, what did I sleep wrong? And I found
Speaker 1: that very relatable because every time it tells me it's
Speaker 1: going to do an update, it's like, I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: But your wife told me something on FaceTime today. You
Speaker 1: might want to share with the audience. It's way more
Speaker 1: interesting than this she told.
Speaker 2: She told Zach that she's trying to give quality over quantity.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: I got on her FaceTime today and they were all
Speaker 1: cuddled up like they like basically like they must have
Speaker 1: been post coital, like they were.
Speaker 3: Closed we were about to do it.
Speaker 1: The vibe is like, you know, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you have a FaceTime a couple, but where the energy
Speaker 1: is coming through the FaceTime, like these two either just
Speaker 1: banged or they're about to bang, because the vibe was
Speaker 1: palpable Casey and Casey kind of cuddled up into his arm.
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 1: And then she goes, she goes, I'm trying to turn
Speaker 1: She goes, I'm trying to make him into quality over quantity.
Speaker 2: Look, so we go bang, and afterwards she goes, I
Speaker 2: gotta be honest with you. I did a little bit
Speaker 2: more than I wanted to do.
Speaker 3: Word too much, quality, too much.
Speaker 1: She gave so much quality that she she she said,
Speaker 1: next time, you're not going to get that level.
Speaker 2: She was like, she was like, I might have gone
Speaker 2: a little overboard today. Wow, don't get used to.
Speaker 1: What you just Yeah, I see, so what you just
Speaker 1: got Her quality went so high that she was like,
Speaker 1: don't think this is going to be the standard of
Speaker 1: the quality.
Speaker 2: This is the standard of quality. That was some super
Speaker 2: duper special quality you just got.
Speaker 1: Just that's hilarious. Listen, I love that. You guys have
Speaker 1: been married years.
Speaker 3: Let me see her. She's still here.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, such a great doctor and my wife has such.
Speaker 3: A great vagina. Let me go get her. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, all right, play the song. Play the song.
Speaker 1: Here she comes, Casey, come down here.
Speaker 6: I don't know nothing about raising these cools, So tell
Speaker 6: me what to do about raising these kids.
Speaker 3: And that's what it is.
Speaker 1: Donald told the audience that.
Speaker 3: That you played a song Daniel.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Donald. Donald told the audience that y'all had a
Speaker 1: session today and that you said you're gonna give quality
Speaker 1: over quantity, and then you said you may have given
Speaker 1: too high a quality and you had regrets about the
Speaker 1: level of quality that you gave because it was too good.
Speaker 7: It was too good, it was it was so good
Speaker 7: that you don't want You can't even walk.
Speaker 5: Through the house.
Speaker 7: Guys, I don't know what to do about this. I
Speaker 7: think your next guest needs to be like a sex
Speaker 7: therapist or something.
Speaker 1: We have a we have a vagina gynecologist specialist college.
Speaker 5: He wrote the vagina Bible.
Speaker 1: Literally, we have a gynecologist on today.
Speaker 8: About sex stuff.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, well, what is she going to tell
Speaker 7: me about a guy of college?
Speaker 3: I have it?
Speaker 7: Do y'all know what a guynecologist is?
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm a I'm a fake doctor, you realize. I
Speaker 1: think that I think the gynecologist might educate Donald and
Speaker 1: I on things that women wish men knew, that's what
Speaker 1: our goal is.
Speaker 8: Oh, okay, Well, you know what I think you should
Speaker 8: talk to her?
Speaker 3: Is it a woman?
Speaker 7: Talk to her about about the woman in her mid
Speaker 7: forties going through like changes and stuff like. That's one
Speaker 7: thing that Donald and I he doesn't seem to wrap
Speaker 7: his head around, is that things are going on right
Speaker 7: now with me that are a little different and I
Speaker 7: don't necessarily feel like fucking twenty four to seven.
Speaker 1: You know, that's a good question for her.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Like, I think she needs to like explain to
Speaker 7: maybe not all of y'all, just.
Speaker 1: To Donald, Well, do you want her to have an
Speaker 1: interven she would talk?
Speaker 3: So, I think so.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know one other questions I know this
Speaker 1: is actually helpful. What other questions do you will ask
Speaker 1: her about women and their changes in their forties? What
Speaker 1: other questions do you think we should ask her that
Speaker 1: women wish men knew?
Speaker 8: Oh god, we could be here all day.
Speaker 1: Well we're going to be here for an hour, so
Speaker 1: we have time.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, what do you wish I'm trying to.
Speaker 1: Well, Sexually, is there anything that like, obviously you and
Speaker 1: your partner, Oh my god, sexually, you and your partner
Speaker 1: obviously have a have it figured out. But is there
Speaker 1: anything like as you were growing up or as you
Speaker 1: were as you were hooking up as a young woman
Speaker 1: that you wish men got and understood better.
Speaker 7: Oh god, I wish I understood better.
Speaker 3: That.
Speaker 8: I don't eat that.
Speaker 7: It's more, it's just as much me as him, you
Speaker 7: know what I mean. Like I think back to when
Speaker 7: I was having sex when I was younger, and I thought,
Speaker 7: oh my god, this is good. I'm totally getting off,
Speaker 7: and no, wasn't.
Speaker 3: Wasn't at all. I loved it and I enjoyed it.
Speaker 7: But I didn't realize, oh, like I can actually take
Speaker 7: myself there and do this myself with my mind, you know.
Speaker 1: All right, well you think about we gotta let her
Speaker 1: in because she's in the waiting room. But thank you, Casey,
Speaker 1: and thank you for all this information. Case bye, guys, Hey,
Speaker 1: play the song down, play the song, Casey.
Speaker 6: Come down here. I don't know nothing about raising these schools.
Speaker 3: So tell me what to do.
Speaker 6: Don't know nothing about raising these kids, And that's what
Speaker 6: it is.
Speaker 3: Spy Woy puts you on no damn spot, woman, I
Speaker 3: know everything about my bag.
Speaker 7: Do you need a pen and paper?
Speaker 3: And paper?
Speaker 1: That is hilarious. Okay, Donald tons five six.
Speaker 9: Seven stories about show we made about a bunch of
Speaker 9: times and nurses. He said, here's the stories nets so
Speaker 9: rad here.
Speaker 3: Under a supply, under a supplause dentol. Doctor Jen Gunter is.
Speaker 1: In a welcome, Doctor Gunter, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Are we about to talk about vagina?
Speaker 1: And I'm excited, Doctor Gunter. We've been really looking forward
Speaker 1: to having you on the show. We had a urologist
Speaker 1: on and he answered lots of male questions, and now
Speaker 1: we wanted to have a gynecologist on to answer some
Speaker 1: female questions for us.
Speaker 8: Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1: You wrote a book called the Vagina Bible? Is that correct?
Speaker 8: I did?
Speaker 1: Now? We just thought, we asked our amazing producer, Joel Monique.
Speaker 1: We want to educate our audience of both sexes, of
Speaker 1: any sex on things they might not know, and Donald
Speaker 1: and I don't know a lot. So we are fake doctors,
Speaker 1: not real doctors. But we just thought it would be
Speaker 1: great to have you on and answer questions that we
Speaker 1: have that Daniel might even have, Joelle might have. Donald's
Speaker 1: wife just gave us some questions to ask and we
Speaker 1: just feel really lucky to have you.
Speaker 8: Oh, well, on my pleasure.
Speaker 10: I'm here for all of your vaginal involver needs.
Speaker 3: This is the best day ever in the history.
Speaker 2: Okay, So, doctor Gunter, I am one who loves to
Speaker 2: have sex with his wife. I want to tread lightly
Speaker 2: here because I want to continue to enjoy having sex.
Speaker 3: With my wife.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I am of that who loves an abundance of it,
Speaker 2: and she is trying to keep up, but I am
Speaker 2: having she's having trouble keeping up.
Speaker 3: Let's put it that way with my needs desires.
Speaker 1: Yes, And she was on right before you came in,
Speaker 1: doctor Gunter, and she said something she alluded to something
Speaker 1: of like, I'm in my mid forties, I'm going through
Speaker 1: some changes. I'm paraphrasing, and I don't basically in so
Speaker 1: many words saying I don't have the same libido that
Speaker 1: my husband has. And you know, so, I guess we're
Speaker 1: wondering if you have any advice on couples that are
Speaker 1: in that situation.
Speaker 10: Yeah, so there are definitely so people can have times
Speaker 10: where they have kind of high spontaneous sexual desire and
Speaker 10: they can have a lower spontaneous sexual desire. So one
Speaker 10: thing I always remind people about because a lot of
Speaker 10: people don't know. This is if you don't have a
Speaker 10: spontaneous desire, but it kicks in after an appropriate situation
Speaker 10: presents itself, then that's called receptive desire, and that's actually normal.
Speaker 10: So it's important for people to understand what normal is.
Speaker 10: A great book to learn more about that is called
Speaker 10: Better Sex through Mindfulness by doctor Lori Brato. She's one
Speaker 10: of the world experts on this subject, so I would
Speaker 10: I always recommend that book. And the other thing to
Speaker 10: think about when someone is in their forties is are
Speaker 10: they having any changes related to the menopause transition? And
Speaker 10: so sometimes there are physical changes that can make sex
Speaker 10: more uncomfortable, and if that's happening, we want to correct
Speaker 10: those because if it hurts, you might also be less
Speaker 10: inclined to want to do it.
Speaker 2: I just think it's the amount like when we were younger,
Speaker 2: we did before we got married. Oh my god, it
Speaker 2: was like rabbits. When we were trying to have a baby,
Speaker 2: it was all the time, you.
Speaker 3: Know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And now that we are, you know, I don't know
Speaker 2: if she's going through menopause, but I think it's like
Speaker 2: was it poly when you're like.
Speaker 10: Well, people call it perimenopause, so you know, kind of colloquially,
Speaker 10: but I would just say that it's you know, also too,
Speaker 10: when people have a libido mismatch, it's a good idea
Speaker 10: to talk with a sex therapist to kind of figure out,
Speaker 10: you know, are there, you know, is there something that
Speaker 10: that you can kind of come to a middle ground?
Speaker 10: You know, that type of thing.
Speaker 1: So, you know, let's wait talk more on that, because
Speaker 1: I think one of the things Donald's talking about, and
Speaker 1: this has been the case just from loving them and
Speaker 1: being their friend for so long, Donald does happen to
Speaker 1: be a man with a very strong libido, especially he's
Speaker 1: about to be fifty, and he's got the libido of
Speaker 1: a twenty year old, and his wife, as she's admitted
Speaker 1: hers has has has gone down. So how does a
Speaker 1: sex therapist help a couple in that position? By the way,
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's men who have lower libidos than their
Speaker 1: wives who are listening. So how does that work? What
Speaker 1: can they do for a couple like that who's trying
Speaker 1: to navigate this well?
Speaker 10: I think it would depend on a lot of different things.
Speaker 10: And I have to say I'm not a sex therapist,
Speaker 10: so I would actually refer someone to that, you know,
Speaker 10: to someone to have that discussion.
Speaker 1: Well, book a sex therapist, So that.
Speaker 8: Would be one, you know, one way to look at it.
Speaker 10: Another way would be to you know, really find out,
Speaker 10: you know, what, is this a spontaneous desire issue or
Speaker 10: you know, if she still has receptive desire, then that's
Speaker 10: actually not abnormal. So sometimes it's education about what might
Speaker 10: be going on.
Speaker 2: It's definitely receptive, Like I do something that is you know,
Speaker 2: helpful just nowhere. It's it could sometimes be as simple
Speaker 2: as that, and then out of nowhere she's like, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, I guess that's a Sometimes that's
Speaker 2: a turn on for her when it comes to things
Speaker 2: around the house. I've never in my life, like my
Speaker 2: parents used to get grounded all the time because I
Speaker 2: just never did chores and stuff like that. So when
Speaker 2: I do do things like that around the house, oh
Speaker 2: my god, it pays.
Speaker 10: Okay, so right there, we've learned something that maybe you
Speaker 10: could do to change the situation, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't like doing that stuff.
Speaker 2: Well, it's.
Speaker 3: Having a freaking clean.
Speaker 8: Okay, silly.
Speaker 10: I think we've identified a bit of a problem perhaps
Speaker 10: right here. Yeah, So if I were in a situation
Speaker 10: where I would do it, I was doing the bulk
Speaker 10: of the house, around the work around the house, I
Speaker 10: probably wouldn't want to have sex with my partner as
Speaker 10: much either, because that might I might have some resentment.
Speaker 10: Now everybody's different. Maybe that's not going to affect everybody.
Speaker 3: I don't think you know what you talk about.
Speaker 1: But Donald, what's what is so clear? And you have
Speaker 1: proven evidence that your wife gets lit up by you
Speaker 1: helping around the house.
Speaker 3: So today I made breakfast the kids before school.
Speaker 10: Okay, so maybe you could think about doing that every day.
Speaker 10: Maybe just think about it, participating for the joy of
Speaker 10: participating in your family unit.
Speaker 2: I do enjoy participating in my family unit actually more
Speaker 2: than sex. Actually I enjoy my family more than sex,
Speaker 2: to be honest with you.
Speaker 8: So that might be something to tell your wife.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she knows that.
Speaker 2: You know, you know, and it's part of this is
Speaker 2: part of this is us being a little facetious, but
Speaker 2: part of this is an actual issue that we do
Speaker 2: go through.
Speaker 1: Well, she was just in here saying when we told
Speaker 1: her that we had the doctor on, she said, you
Speaker 1: better get a pen and paper.
Speaker 10: So, I you know, it sounds like you know. I
Speaker 10: I again, I'm not a sex therapist, but I would
Speaker 10: say that talking about it is good if you really
Speaker 10: feel there's a mismatch. There are professionals who maybe can
Speaker 10: help some education. So books great. You know, another great
Speaker 10: book has come as you Are. That's by Emily Nagowski.
Speaker 8: I hope I.
Speaker 1: Don't spelled which way has come spelled in that title doctor.
Speaker 10: The way one would normally spell it. And if in
Speaker 10: impolite company I had.
Speaker 1: Written that book, I would have done a pun on
Speaker 1: the word doctor.
Speaker 10: Well, I think it's implied, but it's great. It's a
Speaker 10: it's a one.
Speaker 1: The double dunters better if you don't hit it on
Speaker 1: that head. That's something I've always had to wrestle with.
Speaker 1: I got it.
Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, sometimes subtlety works really well.
Speaker 1: Let me write that down as a comedy writer, doctor.
Speaker 10: Subtlety, subtlety note note to self. Yes, well, you know,
Speaker 10: when you're you're talking to people in vulnerable situations as
Speaker 10: a doctor, you know you have to kind of sometimes
Speaker 10: pull your punches a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got it. I got it. I can say
Speaker 1: for for both women, but I know you're gyecologists who
Speaker 1: specialize in women are there anything that does legitimately increase libido.
Speaker 1: You see all of these things from the male point
Speaker 1: of view, these herbs and blah blah blah, and of
Speaker 1: course a zillion different things that are suggested. But do
Speaker 1: you find, as it gecologists for women who may be saying, gosh,
Speaker 1: my libido has gotten lower, is there something they can do?
Speaker 10: So actually, the most studied therapy that has the best
Speaker 10: behind it is mindfulness. Hence the book that I recommended
Speaker 10: Better sex than Mindfulness. So mindfulness is about sort of
Speaker 10: putting everything that's going on in the world away and
Speaker 10: focusing on the moment, really doing sort of sensate focusing exercises,
Speaker 10: focusing on how you feel, enhancing the pleasure experience that way.
Speaker 10: So mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, those things tend to be
Speaker 10: actually the most effective, and they're the most well studied.
Speaker 10: There also are medications. We only recommend them when we've
Speaker 10: tried other things and to make sure that there isn't
Speaker 10: there aren't other issues in relationships, right, So for example,
Speaker 10: if you don't really like your partner, there's no amount
Speaker 10: of any medication that's actually going to fix that, right,
Speaker 10: Or if your partner isn't very good in bed, right,
Speaker 10: so that also happens.
Speaker 8: You know, I'm not trying to say anything.
Speaker 1: I think that's a good point, No, I'm what I'm
Speaker 1: inferring from what you're saying is that the both partners,
Speaker 1: but we're talking about the woman in this situation might
Speaker 1: not know, might not be able to see. Oh, the
Speaker 1: problem is not your body. The problem is that you're
Speaker 1: not turned on. You have resentment towards the person you're
Speaker 1: not That's what the problem is, you.
Speaker 3: Know, or you're not doing it the way I like it?
Speaker 10: Right, So think about if you were given the same
Speaker 10: meal every night for twenty years, you might like not
Speaker 10: look forward to dinner so much anymore. Right, So that
Speaker 10: for some people people that might be fine to have
Speaker 10: dinner every night. But if you to have the same
Speaker 10: dinner every night, But if you get the same dinner
Speaker 10: every single night, you know, over time you might like
Speaker 10: be like, well, why don't I even get asked.
Speaker 8: What I want to have for dinner?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 10: How come I don't get to be involved in the
Speaker 10: meal prep? So again it's like about communication. Also, you
Speaker 10: know peoples, when people are first dating, they tend to
Speaker 10: have higher libidos because you've got it's excitement and it's new, right,
Speaker 10: and then things kind of settle down. People are also
Speaker 10: given a lot of i think false messages about what's
Speaker 10: normal and what's not. I mean, if you watch most
Speaker 10: movies focus on the male experience, and the female experience
Speaker 10: is like, oh my god, wow after three seconds, and
Speaker 10: that is like, you know, not true for anyone ever probably,
Speaker 10: So you know, so you have to think about all
Speaker 10: of those things. And sometimes, you know, as people chief,
Speaker 10: they have you know, family commitments, you're up all night
Speaker 10: with kids, you have financial pressures, so we accumulate those
Speaker 10: things over our lives that might also, you know, kind
Speaker 10: of weigh on libido as well. So what I'm saying
Speaker 10: is you kind of have to step back and take
Speaker 10: it more of a holistic approach and sort of think
Speaker 10: about this kind of in the context of your life.
Speaker 8: And if there aren't.
Speaker 10: These other life things that might be contributing, if there
Speaker 10: aren't partner things that are contributing that for some people,
Speaker 10: then there are some medications that can sometimes be helpful,
Speaker 10: but they're not as effective as people think. It's not
Speaker 10: like they're making you have sex every single night. You know,
Speaker 10: for some of them. We're talking about one or one
Speaker 10: extra episode of sex a month, or maybe two extra
Speaker 10: episodes of sex a month right now. Also, these medications
Speaker 10: are studied in the context of people who are generally
Speaker 10: having sex at least somewhat frequently. And then if we
Speaker 10: see people who haven't had sex in a relationship for
Speaker 10: six months or a year, which we sometimes see, how
Speaker 10: well do those medications work for those people? And we
Speaker 10: don't really know, so I guess my answer is is
Speaker 10: a very long way of saying, it's complicated and you
Speaker 10: have to consider a lot of factors.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a hard time understanding what do you
Speaker 2: mean you don't want to do it?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: I don't understand you know, how can you not feel
Speaker 2: the way I feel?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 3: But that's me as a male.
Speaker 2: I think I think that's my own ego and I
Speaker 2: think that's my own naivete, like falling into like you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like, I don't know. I feel
Speaker 2: like in relationships, somebody is always going to be the
Speaker 2: one that has way more libido than the other, and
Speaker 2: it fluctuates, you know what I mean?
Speaker 10: Like maybe I mean, I think it's different for lots
Speaker 10: of people and I would actually push back and say,
Speaker 10: some men actually have more of a receptive libido that
Speaker 10: they want to be in a situation where you know
Speaker 10: that they feel more maybe desired, or that they need
Speaker 10: to be in that receptive type of situation. And so
Speaker 10: I think when we use sort of patriarchal norms, for example,
Speaker 10: we can dismiss lots of people at both ends of
Speaker 10: the spectrum. So that again, thank you well, but I
Speaker 10: think it's also really good for someone like yourself to say, hey,
Speaker 10: maybe I should read one of those books that aimed
Speaker 10: at people who have maybe desire issues so I could
Speaker 10: learn more about what it's like on the other end,
Speaker 10: because that might also be insightful.
Speaker 1: It seems like the most important thing that you're saying
Speaker 1: is the communication aspect of it, because these are such
Speaker 1: sometimes very uncomfortable topics for couples, and they don't they
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it. It's like they just
Speaker 1: sweep it under the rug.
Speaker 10: Well, what I'd like to say is I have definitely
Speaker 10: noticed that people have an easier time having sex than
Speaker 10: talking about sex, which I think.
Speaker 8: Says a lot about our culture.
Speaker 10: Yeah, And I mean if you think about even just
Speaker 10: saying like the words vagina or penis or you know,
Speaker 10: vulva clitoris often that makes people like you know, think
Speaker 10: twice or makes them giggle. And why should that be
Speaker 10: any different than saying the word elbow or knee right,
Speaker 10: you know. So I think that a lot of it
Speaker 10: is related to sort of our sort of puritanical sort
Speaker 10: of threads that run through society, leftover sort of you know,
Speaker 10: damage from the Victorians, you know, all these types of things, evangelicalism,
Speaker 10: there's all these different threads. I think that that create
Speaker 10: this as well as the historical power imbalance between between
Speaker 10: women and men. And so talking about it is really good.
Speaker 10: Talking about it outside of the bedroom, so you're not
Speaker 10: kind of weaponizing the bed is also good, you know,
Speaker 10: because you know, nobody wants to hear I think after
Speaker 10: you've had sex what it should have been like or
Speaker 10: what you would have preferred, right, So you know, some
Speaker 10: things like that. And I always say, like, we have
Speaker 10: professionals for a reason. There's sex therapists, there's couples counselors,
Speaker 10: there's marriage therapists, and you know people also, I think
Speaker 10: it also overlaps with our our sort of cultural looking
Speaker 10: down on seeking care for mental health issues as well, Right, so,
Speaker 10: which is terrible, Like, if you have a problem, why
Speaker 10: shouldn't you go talk to an expert? That doesn't you know,
Speaker 10: if I have a my car is not working, I'm
Speaker 10: going to go to someone who can fix it. If
Speaker 10: I'm having an issue with our relationship, why shouldn't I
Speaker 10: talk to someone who can help me with that. It
Speaker 10: doesn't mean that you're getting divorced. It doesn't mean that
Speaker 10: things are terrible. It means, hey, we want things to
Speaker 10: be better. Isn't that a good thing?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so well said. I think communication is everything because,
Speaker 1: like you said, people don't this like gets uncomfortable, even
Speaker 1: if it's your your partner, your wife, You just you
Speaker 1: don't want to say the wrong thing. You don't want
Speaker 1: to upset them. You don't. And if it's your own
Speaker 1: insecurity about your whatever, whatever you're feeling, you like, don't
Speaker 1: you might feel you know, you might not feel good
Speaker 1: about sharing it. So it becomes very cringey for people.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I mean I see a lot of women in
Speaker 10: their forties, fifties and sixties who want to have a
Speaker 10: lot of sex, and you know what their partners, their
Speaker 10: male partners have a rectile dysfunction and they won't go
Speaker 10: see the doctor.
Speaker 1: If you're listening and you're suffering from a rectial dysfunction, please,
Speaker 1: as your fake doctor, please go see someone, because that's
Speaker 1: something that's so easily correctible. There's literally a mint now
Speaker 1: that I've seen advertised that has viagra dors. I don't
Speaker 1: know the combination in it, So you can be out
Speaker 1: on a date with someone and you feel it's going there,
Speaker 1: you can pop a mint. So the idea that there's
Speaker 1: men out there who aren't living their full sexual selves
Speaker 1: because of having a rectal dysfunction, that seems to me
Speaker 1: like something that's so easily amongst all these problems, that's
Speaker 1: one of the easier ones to solve because of this
Speaker 1: these medicines that have changed the world.
Speaker 3: It could also mean that you have an underlying condition
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 1: And of course I'm saying go to the doctor. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying just pop a mint. I'm saying, go see
Speaker 1: your doctor and talk about it.
Speaker 10: Yeah, So I just think it's important that you know
Speaker 10: that we do see we see it on both ends
Speaker 10: and so you know. And then I'll say to my patient, well,
Speaker 10: have you talked with your partner about like going to
Speaker 10: the doctor about a rectal dysfunction and they'll say, oh,
Speaker 10: I could never bring that up, or I tried to
Speaker 10: bring it up and he shut me down. So I
Speaker 10: think that, you know, we see it on both ends,
Speaker 10: and I think that as you know, as Zach just said,
Speaker 10: it's all about communication, and I always thinking of sex
Speaker 10: as the ultimate form of communication, right it's a it's
Speaker 10: a form of communication. You're communicating pleasure and pleasuring and pleasure,
Speaker 10: and so learning how to talk about it is I
Speaker 10: think a great way to also enhance your sexual experience
Speaker 10: for you know, for a lot of people. It might
Speaker 10: not be for some, but you know, just to think
Speaker 10: about that as as also a sexual aid.
Speaker 1: And also communicate what you like.
Speaker 10: Yeah, absolutely, I mean if you didn't tell somebody what
Speaker 10: you what you know? Again, getting back to the dinner analogy, right,
Speaker 10: like if you ate the same thing every night and
Speaker 10: you pretended you liked it, and you're a vegetarian and
Speaker 10: you were served meat every night, you might be like, oh,
Speaker 10: not really looking forward to dinner, and how come how
Speaker 10: come I don't get a chance to say and how
Speaker 10: come I don't get to serve the meal? Sometimes right,
Speaker 10: so think about it that way.
Speaker 1: I like that. All right, we're going to take a break,
Speaker 1: and when we come back, if we could ask you
Speaker 1: some questions about the female anatomy that Donald and I
Speaker 1: we did the same thing with the urologist, and we
Speaker 1: think we could be educational to people out asking some questions.
Speaker 1: You're bat starting starting with the labia. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1: Donald and I stumbled across the fact that we call
Speaker 1: we refer to as a society to the women's genitalia
Speaker 1: as the vagina. But what men and women, what everyone
Speaker 1: is looking at is the labia majora? Uh correct or
Speaker 1: or is that just go on? Sorry?
Speaker 8: Okay, well you're looking at the vulva.
Speaker 10: So the labia majora is part of the vulva, right,
Speaker 10: so if you thought, you know, so that's the labia majora,
Speaker 10: the larger lips, and they are in many people the
Speaker 10: most prominent part of the volva what you might see,
Speaker 10: but that can also change, you know, based on age
Speaker 10: and also individual features. Right, you know, we all are
Speaker 10: shaped differently. If you look at ears, right, everybody's got
Speaker 10: different shaped ears or noses. So so yeah, so the
Speaker 10: labia manora, the mons is just above the labia minora
Speaker 10: are the inner lips and all together that encompasses the vulva.
Speaker 1: Right now, the labia minora you started hinted at this,
Speaker 1: but depending on the woman, Just like penises come in
Speaker 1: so many different shapes and sizes, the relationship between them
Speaker 1: labia minora and majora can be completely different, just depending
Speaker 1: on who you are, just like ears.
Speaker 10: Like you said, absolutely so, some people have smaller labia
Speaker 10: minora that aren't necessarily visible if you're just looking at
Speaker 10: the vulva, and other people have larger ones. And that's great,
Speaker 10: and there's all variations in between. And wouldn't that be
Speaker 10: awful if we all look the same everywhere?
Speaker 8: Right?
Speaker 10: So, yeah, so there's different shapes and sizes and that's
Speaker 10: a wonderful thing.
Speaker 1: Donald, do you have labia minora questions?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Do you want to make a joke about how it
Speaker 1: sounds like the minora from Hanukkah?
Speaker 3: No? I don't. I think that's a joke that only
Speaker 3: you can make.
Speaker 1: Okay, think of a good manora, the labia minora. Think
Speaker 1: about that sex toy. We could make doctor, we could
Speaker 1: go on Shark Tank and make a fortune. I don't
Speaker 1: know how it operates, but it's a labia minora right
Speaker 1: all with your.
Speaker 3: Thoughts that only comes out doing honkah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you for sale only on Honukkah. And we'll have
Speaker 1: to figure out exactly how it operates. But it's it's
Speaker 1: can you imagine, hey, sharks, I'm Donald Faison.
Speaker 2: No, I cannot imagine this already. We've started it started
Speaker 2: off bad. It's all pretty started off bad.
Speaker 10: And that's a great double entendre in there. You can't
Speaker 10: figure out how it works?
Speaker 1: I know exactly, that's funny.
Speaker 3: How does it work? Doc? Let's just be honest, how
Speaker 3: does it work?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 2: What are we doing wrong as men that they say
Speaker 2: that a woman could make herself have an orgasm in however,
Speaker 2: like less than a minute or two minutes if woman
Speaker 2: could do it, and it'll take a guy sometimes to
Speaker 2: get the woman to orgasm. It could take the whole
Speaker 2: sex or after sex or never.
Speaker 3: Or you know what I mean? Like, what are we
Speaker 3: doing wrong?
Speaker 1: You know? What is it? What is it? I'm going
Speaker 1: to just tail on to Donald's question and say, what
Speaker 1: is it that you think women would would like men
Speaker 1: to know that not all men know about making her
Speaker 1: have an orgasm?
Speaker 10: Well, I don't think I can answer that question in
Speaker 10: a sort of a tidy, little one sentence.
Speaker 8: So take your.
Speaker 1: Time, take the rest of the podcast, doctor, this is
Speaker 1: yours doctor. Yes, doctor, in fact, take the all the
Speaker 1: rest of the season and answer this if that's if
Speaker 1: that's what you need.
Speaker 8: So it depends.
Speaker 10: It depends what somebody likes. It depends how somebody's feeling
Speaker 10: in the moment. You know, for a lot of women,
Speaker 10: there can be so much pressure about did you orgasm,
Speaker 10: did you come?
Speaker 8: Did you come? Did you come?
Speaker 7: Then?
Speaker 10: You know what, that takes somebody out of the moment
Speaker 10: and it should really, you know, And it also depends
Speaker 10: what somebody likes. So there might be somebody who who
Speaker 10: loves to have, you know, very quick sex with somebody
Speaker 10: they know exactly what they want to do, maybe they
Speaker 10: don't even want to know that person's name, right, And
Speaker 10: then there's people who want to have hours of you know,
Speaker 10: build up and foreplay beforehand, and then there's everything in between.
Speaker 10: And you know what, for the say, for this one person,
Speaker 10: that might encompass the whole spectrum, or it may be
Speaker 10: different at different phases in their life. So instead of
Speaker 10: focusing on what brings about an orgasm. The better question
Speaker 10: is what gives you pleasure? Right, and then to start
Speaker 10: from there, what do you like? Having a conversation asking
Speaker 10: someone can you show me? You know, it shouldn't be
Speaker 10: a performance. I mean again, different people like different things,
Speaker 10: and different people also have kinks. So I don't want
Speaker 10: to I don't want to exclude people from sort of
Speaker 10: the totality of the discussion, but start to ask somebody
Speaker 10: what they like, what brings them pleasure, and to use
Speaker 10: that as a launching pad, because at.
Speaker 2: The end of the day, everybody wants to just have
Speaker 2: good sex. When we do have sex, nobody just wants
Speaker 2: to get it over with. And so my wife is right,
Speaker 2: quality is so much better than quantity. Quality is like
Speaker 2: quality has turned the sex that we have now where
Speaker 2: when she is eager and ready to do it, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I can't wait because I can remember what happened last.
Speaker 3: Time, and that's the turn on for me, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like I love the fact that she's now comfortable enough
Speaker 2: to say this is what I.
Speaker 3: Want to do. I don't want to do, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, for a really long time, I was very dominant
Speaker 2: in our sex life, and then she said, Yo, chill
Speaker 2: the fuck out. And I'm learning to do that now,
Speaker 2: and it's very difficult, but I'm learning.
Speaker 3: And I don't know. Quality is definitely better than quantity.
Speaker 1: I know that it sounds like what you're saying is
Speaker 1: what the doctor's saying. Is that every correct me if
Speaker 1: I'm wrong. Every single person's different. It's like the Kinsey story,
Speaker 1: and like everyone's different falls somewhere on the spectrum of sexuality.
Speaker 1: What everyone has. We're like butterflies. Every single person is
Speaker 1: unique to what turns them on and what gets them off,
Speaker 1: and so you don't find out without good communication. And
Speaker 1: I think I think a lot of men, perhaps I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just say a sweeping stereotype, perhaps don't necessarily ask.
Speaker 1: They just kind of do instead of finding a way
Speaker 1: to engage in a conversation.
Speaker 3: I say, a lot of people period.
Speaker 10: I think, yeah, I think that's really common. I mean,
Speaker 10: if you think about in our society, where do people
Speaker 10: learn about sex, And, as I mentioned earlier, you know,
Speaker 10: they learn about it from movies, they learn about it
Speaker 10: from friends. Think about how the dismal state of sex
Speaker 10: education is in the country, and a lot of it's
Speaker 10: not sex education it's how to not get pregnant. Education
Speaker 10: and slug shaming, right like, That's basically what it is.
Speaker 10: And so you know, if you don't even know how
Speaker 10: your body works then and nobody's going to tell you,
Speaker 10: then you know, you know, it can lead to all
Speaker 10: these you know, not necessarily we can lead to problems,
Speaker 10: but it can also lead to people not having fulfilling
Speaker 10: sex lives because they were never educated and they din'tven
Speaker 10: know to ask because there's so much shame about it,
Speaker 10: and so, you know, I think, you know, in general,
Speaker 10: the cornerstone for a lot of people for good sexual
Speaker 10: and this is again a large generalization is education and
Speaker 10: communication and obviously that means different things to different people.
Speaker 10: Knowing what what I like is going to be different
Speaker 10: from what you like, from what from what other people like,
Speaker 10: and being able to, you know, if you're in a
Speaker 10: couple ship to talk about that, and if you're not
Speaker 10: in a couple ship, to figure out how you want
Speaker 10: that to work for you. And so I think we
Speaker 10: kind of have to be open minded about it. Understand
Speaker 10: there is a huge spectrum and that if people want
Speaker 10: to make things work together in a long term coupleship,
Speaker 10: probably a lot of communication is going to be needed.
Speaker 2: It's interesting that you say that I'm about to we're
Speaker 2: going to end this part of the conversation because you
Speaker 2: guys are going to want to talk about it after this.
Speaker 2: But it seems like as a society, we're going backwards
Speaker 2: and not forwards when it comes to conversations about sex.
Speaker 2: It seems like, you know, when these new conversations come up,
Speaker 2: there's so many politicians and so many people out there
Speaker 2: who are like, no, no, oh, well, I don't want
Speaker 2: to talk about that. In matter of fact, let's not
Speaker 2: talk about that at all. Let's just sweep it under
Speaker 2: the rug and forget that it exists, and it's happening
Speaker 2: with history, and it's happening with sexuality as well.
Speaker 10: You know, when we think about politics in this country,
Speaker 10: we think about the fact that half the population, or
Speaker 10: you know, the half that's sexually active with men, needs
Speaker 10: contraception to have the kind of sex that they want
Speaker 10: to have, right otherwise they're you know, at risk for
Speaker 10: you know, poverty, for generational poverty, right for not being
Speaker 10: able to get the education they want to be able
Speaker 10: to have the jobs that they want. And so this
Speaker 10: country has really weaponized sexuality in a very unique way
Speaker 10: for women. And if you think about the fact that
Speaker 10: it's fifty percent of the population that have to bear
Speaker 10: the physical burdens of reproducing society, and yet we have
Speaker 10: it's harder to get health care for women. They can't
Speaker 10: get they can't get the contraception that they want if
Speaker 10: they are pregnant, they can't get an abortion if they
Speaker 10: want it, if they're having severe maternal complications during pregnancy.
Speaker 10: So many labor and delivery rooms are closing. They can't
Speaker 10: the care we want, never mind the more maternal mortality
Speaker 10: in this country, especially for black women. Right, we have
Speaker 10: all of these problems, and I would argue that they
Speaker 10: are all tied up with sex and sexuality, and so
Speaker 10: to have this discussion without including the broader sort of
Speaker 10: political aspects, you're sort.
Speaker 8: Of perpetuating the problem.
Speaker 10: It's a difficult line to walk because you have to
Speaker 10: walk being medically correct, right, right versus you know, versus
Speaker 10: is how do you get people to the table to
Speaker 10: have that conversation. And so it's there's a reason I'm
Speaker 10: not a politician.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, doctor, what is something you think women wish
Speaker 1: men knew that they don't know? I mean, there's been
Speaker 1: jokes in movies and TV shows about finding the clytorus
Speaker 1: and and uh and knowing how to please a woman.
Speaker 1: Of course, we've seen that our whole lives. But outside
Speaker 1: of just necessarily something sexual. We asked Casey, she was
Speaker 1: saying she wishes what did she say? She wishes men
Speaker 1: knew more about uh? She said, Actually, she said she.
Speaker 3: Wished she knew when she was younger.
Speaker 1: When she was younger, that it wasn't solely about pleasing
Speaker 1: the man, that that that she also had to find
Speaker 1: a way to find pleasure herself.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: She said, when she was younger, she would be all
Speaker 2: right if the person orgasmed and she didn't.
Speaker 3: She was fine with that. It was okay, that's fine.
Speaker 2: But now as now that she knows herself, she knows
Speaker 2: when she wants to organs and when she doesn't want
Speaker 2: to orgasm, she knows she you know, if she if
Speaker 2: she wants to have an orgasm during sex, she's going
Speaker 2: to have an orgasm during sex if she doesn't want
Speaker 2: to and want and doesn't want to have sex. But
Speaker 2: I don't know, men, I don't know. I wish she
Speaker 2: was here, but she's going to let's take a break.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words. Tell us
Speaker 1: all about in any area where you think that men
Speaker 1: in your experience can be more enlightened.
Speaker 10: Well, I think a broad topic. I think men could
Speaker 10: be more enlightened about the burdens of having a uterus
Speaker 10: and ovaries and the china and what all of that entails, right,
Speaker 10: the burden of menstruation, the burden of pregnancy, the burden
Speaker 10: of ovulating every month, and what it's like to have
Speaker 10: your whole reproductive track rewired kind of every sort of
Speaker 10: twenty four to thirty five days and all of those
Speaker 10: issues go along with it, right, so that that so
Speaker 10: many times, you know, women suffer with mestr cramps, or
Speaker 10: they may get a condition like endometriosis not diagnosed because
Speaker 10: they're dismissed. Uh, they may you know, have very heavy periods,
Speaker 10: don't get taken care of that that all of these
Speaker 10: things are can be a health issue for some people,
Speaker 10: and I think it would be I think good to
Speaker 10: have more recognition of that, to understand about those burdens.
Speaker 10: But you know, I think what women want to obviously,
Speaker 10: you know, we're not a monolith, and so everybody wants
Speaker 10: I think a lot of people want different things. I
Speaker 10: think that agency. I think a lot of people just
Speaker 10: want agency, the ability to say I want something or
Speaker 10: don't want something, the ability not to be judged for
Speaker 10: saying you want something. If you want to have if
Speaker 10: you want to go out and have sex with somebody
Speaker 10: you met at a party and that works for you,
Speaker 10: why should you be judged for that right? If you
Speaker 10: also want to, you know, marry your high school sweetheart,
Speaker 10: why should you be judged for that right? So the
Speaker 10: agency to sort of make the wide scope of decisions
Speaker 10: about your sexuality that men have enjoyed since the beginning
Speaker 10: of time.
Speaker 1: That's so well said.
Speaker 2: We had we had a couple on that where the
Speaker 2: woman was having extramarital.
Speaker 1: Sex with his best friend.
Speaker 2: With his best friend, and at first we were like,
Speaker 2: so not freaked out, but it was. It was surprising
Speaker 2: to us, But at the end of the day, it
Speaker 2: was like, well, who are we to judge them for
Speaker 2: being this way?
Speaker 1: It wasn't an affair. It was that she had permission
Speaker 1: from her husband to once a week sleep with his
Speaker 1: best friend. And Donald and I were very shocked by
Speaker 1: the story. But it's a perfect example of what you're
Speaker 1: saying everyone's everyone's consenting, it's all fine, they're happy, you know,
Speaker 1: to each their own, right.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 10: I think if everybody has agency and the relationship right,
Speaker 10: that it's not something forced upon one person. And that's
Speaker 10: what gets back again to communication, right, And and so
Speaker 10: I think that different things work for different people. And
Speaker 10: I think now we're especially with social media, where we're
Speaker 10: getting more exposure, I think two different things.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 10: Obviously not everything you see on social media is also true,
Speaker 10: but you know what I'm saying, you're getting a more
Speaker 10: I would say, a bigger slice of maybe perhaps what's
Speaker 10: happening in the population than you would see in conventional
Speaker 10: you know, television shows and especially things that have to
Speaker 10: pass sensors, right and in censor and I don't.
Speaker 2: Know, there are shows like Euphoria that freak everybody out,
Speaker 2: Like Zach, don't you love Euphoria?
Speaker 1: I think Euphoria is really well done. Yeah, incredible parent.
Speaker 3: As a parent, that's it scares me because that is
Speaker 3: but as.
Speaker 2: A but I want to be informed of what is
Speaker 2: on the future, in the future for my children.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't think your children necessarily have to
Speaker 1: live a life like the kids in Euphoria.
Speaker 2: Do you remember what your partying life was like when
Speaker 2: you were in high school?
Speaker 1: Well, wasn't euphoria? I can tell you that.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well mind, mine was similar in all of the
Speaker 2: drugs and stuff like, like we weren't. I have a
Speaker 2: lot of friends that died from overdosing and stuff like
Speaker 2: that in real life. And I have a lot of
Speaker 2: friends that were, you know, discovering who they were and
Speaker 2: how I went to a school where you know, arts,
Speaker 2: and you know how artistic people are when it comes
Speaker 2: to discovering themselves, and we had some crazy parties.
Speaker 10: Well, so I use that kind of stuffs as a watis.
Speaker 10: I have twenty year old twin boys and I you know,
Speaker 10: when Euphoria came out, they were watching it like everybody else.
Speaker 10: And I was like, Hey, we should be talking about
Speaker 10: you guys caring in our can right and when you
Speaker 10: would use that and how you would have it, And
Speaker 10: let's go get some from the pharmacy. Because you're in California,
Speaker 10: you can do that. And let's when you go off
Speaker 10: to college, let's take some extra ones with you so
Speaker 10: you can keep it in your dorm and you can
Speaker 10: pass it out to friends and you can talk about that,
Speaker 10: because again, you know, not talking about that can can
Speaker 10: actually lead to someone losing their life.
Speaker 1: I got to tell you as a side note, I
Speaker 1: had to be in the er in New York to
Speaker 1: help a friend who had something happened in the person's fine.
Speaker 1: But during the few hours that I was there, you
Speaker 1: know the word that I heard the most narcan. It
Speaker 1: was just so emblematic of this country right now that
Speaker 1: like I heard narkan like fifteen times. I was in
Speaker 1: the er for a couple hours.
Speaker 10: So I would reframe that as actually not. I mean,
Speaker 10: obviously hearing it in the er means all these people
Speaker 10: have come in with overdoses and.
Speaker 8: That's a tragedy.
Speaker 10: But the message I would like for people listening to
Speaker 10: hear about is the word narcan on the street is
Speaker 10: a success because that means you've had a chance to
Speaker 10: help somebody and save their life, right, and that you know,
Speaker 10: maybe that is going to help them down the road.
Speaker 10: Obviously saving their life is going to help them down
Speaker 10: the road, but you never know when that intervention might
Speaker 10: help lead to safer drug use right or set them
Speaker 10: down a different path.
Speaker 1: So I I just for you, it's just scary because
Speaker 1: of the whole oxy and fentyl.
Speaker 8: It's terrible.
Speaker 10: And you know, I have very you know, I have
Speaker 10: very very frank discussions with my kids about you know,
Speaker 10: it's not just the fact that you might be getting
Speaker 10: fentanyl or something like that. You have no idea what
Speaker 10: else could be in some of these pills, right, what
Speaker 10: kind of designers steroid like other kinds of.
Speaker 8: Stuff that that we don't know about. So it's just important.
Speaker 1: So do your boys carry narcan on them?
Speaker 10: Well, I'm pretty sure one does because I have one
Speaker 10: who's very like, uh little community activist and and so
Speaker 10: he's that's his thing. The other one, you know, is
Speaker 10: h is in on Friday night studying, So there's a
Speaker 10: there's a sort of a different range there. But they
Speaker 10: both have it, and they both have access to it,
Speaker 10: and I made them both keep it in their dorms,
Speaker 10: like next to the IBU prosos.
Speaker 1: I should get some. I should get some. Just you know,
Speaker 1: I feel like if you if it's available in your state,
Speaker 1: you just have in your house like you would have
Speaker 1: a band aid, because yes, hell, you.
Speaker 3: Never know who's at your house and what they're doing
Speaker 3: in your bath.
Speaker 1: You save their life, you ever.
Speaker 8: Know, Man, yeah, keep it in your car, keep it
Speaker 8: you know.
Speaker 1: Just can you look up what states? Can you buy
Speaker 1: it over the counter? Joelle? Do you have any questions
Speaker 1: for the doctor? You're you're a resident woman, do anything.
Speaker 1: We're not asking here.
Speaker 3: Have we embarrassed you enough? Joelle?
Speaker 1: Are you ashamed?
Speaker 5: Don't feel embarrassed. No, I'm not ashamed, although I think
Speaker 5: that might be a really interesting thing to talk about.
Speaker 5: The thing, you know, a lot of our listeners are dudes,
Speaker 5: and a lot of these dudes have children who have vaginas,
Speaker 5: and maybe they don't know anything about them. And I
Speaker 5: was curious, and there's like a lot of you guys
Speaker 5: were talking about stigma earlier then I think, like you know,
Speaker 5: as a kid growing up, and especially for you, I
Speaker 5: grew up in rural Illinois, so our sex education was
Speaker 5: non existent, and there was like so many questions we had,
Speaker 5: like and one they came up a lot like in schools,
Speaker 5: like what should a vagina smell like?
Speaker 10: M So I always find it interesting that nobody asks
Speaker 10: what a penis or balls should smell like.
Speaker 2: Right, it's not like mine, musty, it's not like mine
Speaker 2: and musty.
Speaker 10: So I would always I always sort of bring that like,
Speaker 10: why why are we so fixated on how a vagina
Speaker 10: smells and not fixated on how the other half the
Speaker 10: population smells? Right? So I just put that out right there,
Speaker 10: and so I actually, you know, would recommend that anybody
Speaker 10: who has children read the Vagina Bible so they can
Speaker 10: actually learn all about what's normal, what are the health
Speaker 10: conditions that could come along. I've had several single dads
Speaker 10: reach out to me and tell me that they bought
Speaker 10: the Vagina Bible and redd it so they could actually,
Speaker 10: you know, know, mores for their daughters. Because you know,
Speaker 10: if you don't have the parts, you don't really know.
Speaker 10: I mean you might, but you know, I'm just saying
Speaker 10: you're you're less likely to have an intimate you know,
Speaker 10: knowledge of the sort of the medical aspects of it, right,
Speaker 10: So to get educated and you know, to think that
Speaker 10: anytime someone's worried about how a vagina smells, I want
Speaker 10: you to think of I want you to everybody, to
Speaker 10: to anybody who's listening, all the dudes, I want you
Speaker 10: to go to Walgreens or CBS, and I want you
Speaker 10: to look at the shelves and shelves and shelves of
Speaker 10: products designed to make a volva or vagina smell better.
Speaker 10: And then I want you to find me all the
Speaker 10: products that are designed to make a penis and balls
Speaker 10: smell better, because obviously there isn't.
Speaker 1: And I wish that the cartoon company would animate this segment.
Speaker 1: This is a really good area ahead because.
Speaker 10: If you were if you were an alien and you
Speaker 10: were dropped in a Walgreens or a CBS, you would
Speaker 10: think that vaginas are gross and disgusting. That would be
Speaker 10: that would be your take home, because that's what society
Speaker 10: wants you to think. That's how people make money. This
Speaker 10: is a massive industry. We're telling women that they need
Speaker 10: to use wipes after they go to the bathroom. What
Speaker 10: like men can wipe themselves but women can't.
Speaker 3: What do I do wipe my balls out in my shift?
Speaker 3: I can't contect it smelling okay, well nothing. I try
Speaker 3: to keep it smelling like nothing.
Speaker 1: Well, it probably smells like the wipes, like some sort
Speaker 1: of like ivory.
Speaker 10: So my point is is that we have this whole
Speaker 10: societal belief that vaginas are gross, right, and so when
Speaker 10: people and and that is you know, kind of a
Speaker 10: patriarchal tenant that how do we how do we oppress
Speaker 10: half the population by telling them that their very biology
Speaker 10: is problematic? And so I just think it's always important
Speaker 10: to push back on that.
Speaker 1: And okay, but just I hear you. But just so
Speaker 1: we can answer Joelle's question, let's say you're a single dad.
Speaker 1: Let's say you're or are you just a dad who
Speaker 1: wants to be educated? We don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: what is required of a woman so that she keeps
Speaker 1: a help not just you know, a healthy system going,
Speaker 1: because I remember someone telling me that, you know, doing
Speaker 1: too much to your to your genitalia as a woman
Speaker 1: can can throw the whole pH balance off and make
Speaker 1: it bad.
Speaker 10: So just so, the vagina and is like a self
Speaker 10: cleaning oven. You don't need to do anything. It has evolved.
Speaker 10: It is an evolutionary marvel to take care of itself.
Speaker 10: It has all kinds of defense mechanisms and built in
Speaker 10: systems to you know, to keep it functioning well. And
Speaker 10: just like a self cleaning oven, if you start doing
Speaker 10: things to it to clean it, you can actually damage it.
Speaker 10: And so you don't need actually any care for the
Speaker 10: vagina which is inside. If you have an itch, if
Speaker 10: you if you notice an odor, that seems different to you.
Speaker 10: If you notice a discharge that's different, then yes you
Speaker 10: should see a healthcare provider. From a volvers standpoint, you
Speaker 10: should treat it like all your you know, all your
Speaker 10: skin and sensitive areas. I mean your face as well,
Speaker 10: that tends to be more sensitive skin. You want to
Speaker 10: use a cleanser, not a soap. Soap dries your skin,
Speaker 10: so cleansers are best, and apart from that, like that's
Speaker 10: you know, but if you just want to use water,
Speaker 10: that's also fine too. And using things like wipes will
Speaker 10: irritate the skin. You do not need to use any
Speaker 10: special feminine product. None of them are studied in any
Speaker 10: meaningful way, and most of them end up causing irritation.
Speaker 8: And that's really it. That's that's the Cole's notes, right, I.
Speaker 1: Can tell you is someone with a scrotum, it's not
Speaker 1: that simple. You have to to soap it up, gotta
Speaker 1: get in there with soap.
Speaker 10: Donald, Well, all I can tell you is I only
Speaker 10: have an amateur interest in men, not a professional one.
Speaker 3: And I appreciate I appreciate your amateur interest.
Speaker 1: I can just think of Donald's just declaring that his
Speaker 1: balls are musty and uh poor case they get Musty.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie when I I work out, and
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna Okay, so, but.
Speaker 1: When you're about to have sex with Casey and you've
Speaker 1: had Musty has.
Speaker 3: Dissed me so many times, you.
Speaker 2: Go and say, let me just reapgnize the smell of
Speaker 2: my downtown area so many times to make me feel
Speaker 2: like shit.
Speaker 3: She'll say shit, like damn baby, wash that ship, Like.
Speaker 1: Why don't you why don't you do that? If you
Speaker 1: know you have a shot, You've on the dishes, she's
Speaker 1: turned on. Why don't you run to the shower and
Speaker 1: clean clean your mess up?
Speaker 2: Because I, like doctor Gunter, believe that it will.
Speaker 1: Doctor Gunter to not say that your goal will self clean.
Speaker 8: I was only talking about volvs and vaginas.
Speaker 1: But Donald misunderstood.
Speaker 3: Donald miss understood, got it, got it, got it. I
Speaker 3: thought we were in the universal conversation at Donald.
Speaker 1: Let me help you. The scrotum is not a self
Speaker 1: cleaning of in Donald.
Speaker 10: But I'll tell you there's a there's a really interesting
Speaker 10: study that was done a little while back, and I
Speaker 10: hope I'm quoting it correctly. But you know, when when
Speaker 10: people have sex, you know there's Obviously there's fluids, and
Speaker 10: there might be farting, and there's all kinds of stuff
Speaker 10: that happens that we would normally, you know, maybe be
Speaker 10: a little bit like, oh, that's kind of gross about.
Speaker 10: And when people are sexually excited, they are a level
Speaker 10: of their ability to tolerate disgusting things actually increases.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, the population of people that will eat somebody's
Speaker 2: asshole the first time they meet them, without wipes or anything.
Speaker 2: But then we'll turn around and tell you that you
Speaker 2: do not have the right to do what you want
Speaker 2: to do with your body. So I know exactly what
Speaker 2: you're talking about when it comes to that, all those
Speaker 2: people out there that will do that and then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden tell me I'm nasty because.
Speaker 3: I like something.
Speaker 1: All right, Well on that night, let's take a break.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after these fine words, Daniel, Do
Speaker 1: you have any questions? You want to make sure everyone
Speaker 1: has a fair chance down You're a very handsome man.
Speaker 1: You've been with a woman for a long time. Is
Speaker 1: there anything you want to you ask the doctor that
Speaker 1: you might share next time you're twitching or muck banging.
Speaker 4: It's very kind of you. I appreciate the kind words.
Speaker 4: I don't know if I have any questions as much
Speaker 4: as I just want to celebrate the doctors. I think
Speaker 4: awesome perspective of conversation and communication being the root of
Speaker 4: all of these things. You also sound like the coolest
Speaker 4: mom ever, being like, now, let's get you kids some
Speaker 4: b can. What a great thing. I also put in
Speaker 4: the chat that Narcan is legal to buy over the
Speaker 4: counter in every state, which is wonderful. Is approved by
Speaker 4: the FDA in March.
Speaker 1: So that's where you go. If you're listening and you
Speaker 1: live in the United States, you can buy narcan and
Speaker 1: have it in your house for emergencies in any state.
Speaker 3: You might save somebody's life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely. But yeah, just I really appreciate that communication
Speaker 4: is the root of all of these things because so
Speaker 4: much of our country's opinion on sex and drugs and alcohol,
Speaker 4: I mean, any sort of vice or whatever is solely
Speaker 4: rooted and I refuse to have the conversation right and.
Speaker 10: I would, yeah, thank you, And I just wanted to sorry,
Speaker 10: I'm going to cut you off, but I just wanted
Speaker 10: to say that judgment never helps any conversation move forward.
Speaker 1: Boom, What a what a phrase to end on judgment
Speaker 1: never helps any conversation move forward.
Speaker 4: Love that.
Speaker 1: All right, doctor, Thank you someone for your time. Also,
Speaker 1: plug your podcast for everybody because we know you have
Speaker 1: a popular podcast.
Speaker 10: Well I did, but we couldn't get funding for future seasons.
Speaker 8: So yeah, I did have.
Speaker 1: A go oh well, plug the I listened to some episodes,
Speaker 1: So plug this show that you that is available, the
Speaker 1: ones you did do.
Speaker 8: So yeah.
Speaker 10: I did a podcast with the Ted Audio collective all
Speaker 10: about your body called body Stuff, and I got to
Speaker 10: talk to amazing experts all around the world. We talked
Speaker 10: about the history of why we believe things about our
Speaker 10: body and also to experts to put that history into perspective.
Speaker 10: And it was wonderful and unfortunately, you know, as a
Speaker 10: fact check, science based fun podcast, just didn't seem to
Speaker 10: attract advertisers.
Speaker 1: So that's the episodes are up there and you listen
Speaker 1: to them.
Speaker 8: There are there's two seasons, and.
Speaker 1: I listened to a bunch and got educated. And also,
Speaker 1: I hope you'll come back on our show. We are
Speaker 1: lucky enough.
Speaker 3: Do you want to plug your book? Also?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, China Bible.
Speaker 10: So I have the Vagina Bible, which came out in
Speaker 10: twenty nineteen. I also have the Menopause Manifesto, which is
Speaker 10: all about out metopause obviously, and then I have a
Speaker 10: new book coming out in January January twenty third called
Speaker 10: Blood and it's the science, medicine and mythology of menstruation.
Speaker 1: Wow. Well, I just think you're so wise and we
Speaker 1: really appreciate you. I hope you'll come back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope. I didn't freaking turn you off from
Speaker 3: coming back.
Speaker 8: No I have.
Speaker 10: I'm more than happy to come back. And I just
Speaker 10: have to tell you guys, you know, Scrubbs was such
Speaker 10: a fantastic show for me to see as a doctor,
Speaker 10: and I will echo every other doctor's sentiment that is
Speaker 10: the most accurate medical show that has ever existed.
Speaker 8: So thank you, guys, Thank.
Speaker 1: You, and we just want to you know, it's you know,
Speaker 1: we're mostly a comedy podcast, but I think Donald and
Speaker 1: I both feel like, in the spirit of being fake doctors,
Speaker 1: let's let's take the opportunity when we can because we
Speaker 1: have so many people listening to share some interesting medical
Speaker 1: tips and advice and education for people. So thank you
Speaker 1: so much.
Speaker 8: Well, thank you for having me. Thank you so much.
Speaker 8: I love to come back anytime.
Speaker 2: And we'd love to talk about penises and vaginas on
Speaker 2: this so you fit in perfectly.
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you, Doctor Gunter, thank you.
Speaker 3: All right, we should take a break. Broad it right.
Speaker 1: Donald, You're right. All this vagina talk has made us
Speaker 1: need a break. We'll be right back and we're ba.
Speaker 1: We're back, We're back, We're back, and listen. This segment
Speaker 1: of Fake Doctor's Real Friends is brought to you by
Speaker 1: T Mobile five G Home Internet, protecting you from exploding
Speaker 1: bills with a price lock guarantee. Visit t mobile dot
Speaker 1: com slash Zach to check availability. If you recall from
Speaker 1: our last episode, someone asked if someone Bill knew from
Speaker 1: his high school days was an inspiration for doctor Kim,
Speaker 1: played by Elizabeth Banks. Well, now we finally have an
Speaker 1: answer for Bill, so here it is.
Speaker 3: Hey, Donald, Hey Daniel, Hey Joel.
Speaker 4: It's cool to you guys, Zach, thank you.
Speaker 3: Look Kim Briggs.
Speaker 11: Everybody had a crush on Kim Robinson in high school,
Speaker 11: so it makes sense. Checks, but my high school girlfriend
Speaker 11: in high school, my high school girlfriend in high school
Speaker 11: is a horrible sentence. She was named Sarah Briggs, and
Speaker 11: I think she dumped me about six or seven times
Speaker 11: over three years also checks out. But Kim Briggs was
Speaker 11: based on Sarah Briggs and Kim Robinson will have to
Speaker 11: be in a future show. That's all I'm saying. I
Speaker 11: want to bust somebody's mom's story. Yeah, but just tell this.
Speaker 11: There were lots of Kim Robinson crushes floating around.
Speaker 2: So Kim, you definitely did well in high school as
Speaker 2: far as the crushes go.
Speaker 3: It just wasn't Bill Lawrence.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, that's a happy ending to the story. Thanks
Speaker 1: to Mobile. If you're over exploding internet bills, visit T
Speaker 1: mobile dot com slash Zach and find out how new
Speaker 1: and existing customers get T mobiles price lock guarantee for
Speaker 1: home Internet. Thank you everybody for tuning in, Joelle. What
Speaker 1: else do we have to tell everyone anything?
Speaker 5: Uh No, I mean other than you know, feel free
Speaker 5: to DMA's messages about what kind of specialist you'd like
Speaker 5: to see on the show. Who are you? And we're
Speaker 5: doing sort of like a sex tober thing or.
Speaker 1: We're doing Sextober. We should have we should definitely have
Speaker 1: a sex therapist, Joelle, because I love the gynecologist. Said, hey,
Speaker 1: this is the end of my specialty, but you should
Speaker 1: have a sex therapist to and I think that would
Speaker 1: be very helpful to us.
Speaker 2: I agree when she said that. I got very excited
Speaker 2: when you and you said Joel book a sex therapist.
Speaker 3: In my mind, I was like, first of all, free
Speaker 3: sex therapy.
Speaker 1: Session. It's not I want that. I want you and
Speaker 1: the audience to all know that this is not. So
Speaker 1: you can have a personal session with the second.
Speaker 3: Oh, we'll give you.
Speaker 1: We'll give you minutes. We'll give on their number and
Speaker 1: you can hire them privately for a private session.
Speaker 3: Can we get like ten minutes?
Speaker 1: Just I know why you showing like on the zoom,
Speaker 1: like like what should I do when I'm in this position?
Speaker 3: Oh? I didn't know that that's what sex therapy was.
Speaker 1: I think it can be anything related to inner gors.
Speaker 1: You can be like how do I do X Y
Speaker 1: or Z or what does this position do?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: I can't wait to have a sex therapist on. Let
Speaker 3: me ask a question.
Speaker 1: I'm a little nervous when I was when I was younger.
Speaker 2: I dated a girl who was like, I'm going to
Speaker 2: be a sex therapist when I was When I get older,
Speaker 2: and in my mind, I was like, well, what the
Speaker 2: fuck does that entail? What do you have to do
Speaker 2: when you are a sex therapist?
Speaker 3: And so I'm very I don't think you do well.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Joelle, do you know if they're if
Speaker 1: there if there's versions. I don't think they touch the person,
Speaker 1: They just coach them.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: A license to sex therapist is mostly, to the best
Speaker 5: of my knowledge, listening to you and giving advice. There
Speaker 5: are other types of sex therapies where someone might be
Speaker 5: appropriate ways to help.
Speaker 3: It's not Do you think there's appropriate Do you think
Speaker 3: there's somebody Do.
Speaker 1: You think there's a doctor who's like and then try
Speaker 1: this can forefingers? Now, now, Carl just gently put the
Speaker 1: thumb on the booty, like, do you think.
Speaker 5: It would surprise me? We talked about having a tantrik
Speaker 5: yoga person. We talked about having.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's have a person. Oh, I feel bad for
Speaker 1: Casey if we have, because there's no way.
Speaker 3: Casey is gonna let me bang and be like, no mistake.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, you're wild.
Speaker 1: I think Dane is a bit more than and then
Speaker 1: saying but I don't know much.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's what Sting used to do. Right, do you have
Speaker 1: sex for like twenty four hours.
Speaker 2: Stay all right, I think that's a good note to
Speaker 2: wrap up the show.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll see you next time. This is Zach
Speaker 1: and Donald's coming at you live.
Speaker 9: That show we made about a bunch of talks and
Speaker 9: nurses in Jana. I said, here's the stories next.
Speaker 3: All should know.
Speaker 9: So Gada round you here, up, Gada, round you here up.
Speaker 3: Sweet for me, wat show me is Zach