Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's opening the first ever retirement
Speaker 1: home for old bobblehead dolls that are unwanted by the public.
Speaker 1: Sad there. It's called Shaky Acres and they're putting it
Speaker 1: right on.
Speaker 2: A fault line.
Speaker 1: I don't know how long it's gonna last, but send
Speaker 1: your old retired bobbleheads there. With Laser stories, this segment
Speaker 1: where we read weird news stories around the globe, just
Speaker 1: like everyone else does, except we've got a laser and
Speaker 1: those other giggle geezers just don't. This first laser story
Speaker 1: is out of Jonestown, Philadelphia. Thirty one year old Joey
Speaker 1: Henny wanted to go to a Philly baseball game last week,
Speaker 1: but he was stopped and denied entry for the dumbest reason,
Speaker 1: because turns out that ballpark has a strict no emotional
Speaker 1: support alligators allowed rule. God, yeah's police, you believe that Joey?
Speaker 2: You think he could take an alligator in?
Speaker 1: He told the gate workers that he doesn't go anywhere
Speaker 1: without his working emotional support pet, named Wally Gatorlane.
Speaker 2: He was shocked when he was denied access. It was
Speaker 2: that was shocked, Okay, He.
Speaker 1: Insisted Wally Gator was not dangerous and even had the
Speaker 1: reptile on a leash with a harness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so for it.
Speaker 1: Plus, Wally has never been anyone ever and he loves
Speaker 1: to give hugs.
Speaker 2: Yes, just one time.
Speaker 1: Take Joey went on to say how we rescued the
Speaker 1: animal from a little pond all the way back in
Speaker 1: twenty fifteen and decided to keep him after noticing Wally
Speaker 1: Gator was surprisingly non aggressive.
Speaker 2: Alligator in the wild. It's like, I'm gonna try to
Speaker 2: hug It's gonna try. It's already home where it's at.
Speaker 2: I gotta see if this one's gonna hug me back.
Speaker 1: As for the two buddies, his favorite things to do
Speaker 1: when they're with each other. They include cuddling and swimming.
Speaker 1: And if my kid was at the beach and there
Speaker 1: was a gator that somebody brought to go swimming, I
Speaker 1: would not be happy.
Speaker 2: I would make a joke and put a little shark
Speaker 2: fin on him. Yeah, it's not it's just a gator.
Speaker 1: Well, now, Wally Gator goes everywhere with him too, events,
Speaker 1: to restaurant openings, and even to local retirement homes.
Speaker 2: I'm calling and I can get off doesn't want to
Speaker 2: eat there too, tough of meat. None of that seem
Speaker 2: to matter, does citizens Bank Ballpark?
Speaker 1: Because no one seemed to believe Wally Gator was an
Speaker 1: actually trained animal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna go bark on this one. What did
Speaker 2: Joey think about that?
Speaker 1: He says, It's okay, He'll just have Wally put a
Speaker 1: curse on the team so they don't go to the
Speaker 1: World Series. For stories out of Hollywood, a recent article
Speaker 1: from a popular magazine's raising some eyebrows, and it has
Speaker 1: to do with one celebrity, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Speaker 2: Who is your daddy and what does she do?
Speaker 1: Because the article is all about his parenting style and
Speaker 1: how he wasn't afraid to raise his kids with a
Speaker 1: little tough love.
Speaker 2: I read this and was shocked.
Speaker 1: Really yes, Well, for example, he says, when his daughter
Speaker 1: Catherine was little, she would leave her shoes in front
Speaker 1: of the fireplace. After he already warned her twice, Arnold
Speaker 1: burned them in front of her. Yeah, like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: what lesson does that to you?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Not only did she never do that again, but now
Speaker 1: she shares that story with her three year old daughter,
Speaker 1: who also does not leave her shoes in front of
Speaker 1: the fire.
Speaker 2: Oh god, else, Grandpa's gonna come and burn him.
Speaker 1: Another one that people are talking about is in regards
Speaker 1: to his son Patrick. When he was nine and he
Speaker 1: wouldn't make his own bed, Arnold threw it out the window.
Speaker 2: Ah, the whole bed.
Speaker 1: The mattress, the bed sheets, pillows and all.
Speaker 2: I'm sure that's not considered an overreaction.
Speaker 1: And he told him, don't ever make someone come in
Speaker 1: and clean your room, or clean your shower or make
Speaker 1: your bed for you, because I taught you how to
Speaker 1: make that bed.
Speaker 2: Then he has a house cleaner who he also slept
Speaker 2: with to have a child. That's why he's so adamant
Speaker 2: that she shouldn't have to make his bed. Yeah, she's
Speaker 2: busy in my room. He was teaching the house cleaner
Speaker 2: a lesson. I'm sure that was an educational thing. He
Speaker 2: sounds like the worst dad.
Speaker 1: You guys are judgmental today against alligators and Arnold.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just one mattress out the window. Whatever, star your
Speaker 2: child for life, Right, let's go to your next laser story.
Speaker 2: Out of the Golden arches. Yes you hate them too.
Speaker 1: I love nuggets.
Speaker 2: Okay, not a little positive.
Speaker 1: McDonald's has a secret sandwich that's blowing up the internet,
Speaker 1: and the reason why is that you can only get
Speaker 1: it at ten thirty five am.
Speaker 2: Double rainfall, Oh my god on the dot yep.
Speaker 1: Why well, it's because that's the exact time the restaurant
Speaker 1: switches from breakfast to lunch, and if you miss that window,
Speaker 1: it's not going to work to get your hands on
Speaker 1: the mcbrunchburger. Unofficial secret sandwich includes two cheeseburger patties, bacon,
Speaker 1: hash browns, and eggs all sandwich between a sesame seed buns.
Speaker 2: I don't know why it sounds good to also dip
Speaker 2: it in syrup. Yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: It must be prepared at that exact time too, ten
Speaker 1: thirty five am, since it's at the end of the
Speaker 1: breakfast rush.
Speaker 2: And even then it might not work.
Speaker 1: Because your local mickey D's might be out of a
Speaker 1: few select itemsoo, so you might have to sub sausage
Speaker 1: for bacon, or be able to get the egg whites
Speaker 1: instead of the scrambled eggs.
Speaker 2: It just depends on the day. Flexible, is that what
Speaker 2: you're saying, Jeff, Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's possible when you ask for the mcbrunchburger. They
Speaker 1: won't know what you're talking about. Oh yeah, okay, it's.
Speaker 2: A very very secret, sand secret McDonald's doesn't even know
Speaker 2: about it. Just download this podcast and play this for
Speaker 2: they make good news. Is the price?
Speaker 1: Because multiple TikTokers say that the mcbrunchberger only cost them
Speaker 1: five dollars ring it up. McDonald's has still refused to
Speaker 1: either confirm or deny the actual existence of this secret
Speaker 1: menu item, which makes it taste even better.
Speaker 2: When you actually get your hands on one. Yes, secret Brunchburger.
Speaker 1: Let's go to your next laser story. Out of Dating Headquarters.
Speaker 1: You ever dumped someone for a completely petty or superficial reason.
Speaker 1: A recent publication asked the readers that and got some
Speaker 1: funny responses.
Speaker 2: Here's the highlights that they gave.
Speaker 1: Number five, my cat said hello to her, and she
Speaker 1: did not say high back.
Speaker 2: Dumped.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to support the pets man. Number four
Speaker 1: a woman broke up with a guy who had allergies
Speaker 1: because she considered that a sign of weakness. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I gotta say it'd be hard for me to date
Speaker 2: somebody gluten free just because I love gluting so much.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to give it up.
Speaker 1: It's like if you love going on hikes, somebody has allergies. Annoying. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Number three a guy decided not to see a beautiful
Speaker 1: woman for a second date because on the first one
Speaker 1: she had to use the restroom and said, excuse me,
Speaker 1: I have to go tinkles. Who did that?
Speaker 2: You didn't like the tinkles? That's not a deal breaker.
Speaker 2: You think that's a deal breaker. Yes, I agree, it's silly.
Speaker 1: Number two, one woman wrote, he wore the same shirt
Speaker 1: on both of our dates. Then years later she ran
Speaker 1: into him in an elevator and he.
Speaker 2: Was still in the same shirt. Okay, I can see that. Finally.
Speaker 1: The number one highlight someone got dumped for a petty
Speaker 1: reason was from one woman who said his mouth was
Speaker 1: shaped like a trapezoid when he talked, and I couldn't
Speaker 1: unsee it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I would freak out too. That sounds awful.
Speaker 1: I would state.
Speaker 2: The guy with the longest torso I've ever seen, and
Speaker 2: it was so unnerved, I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 1: It was like so much stomach and like the shortest
Speaker 1: little legs. It was hard as for this guy. The
Speaker 1: pettiest reason he ever broke up with a shoe before.
Speaker 2: Velco strap not tight enough. I like the shoe with
Speaker 2: the tight strappers. A dealbreaker.
Speaker 1: That sal means laser stories. It's come to an end
Speaker 1: of the day. We're gonna do it again, same time
Speaker 1: on Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.