Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night, the anti sluck
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey fucker's Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of Guys We Fucked. It's the Anti slush shame Podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm Karin Gersdina. What's up? You know, just chilling? How
Speaker 1: about you just chilling? Chilling in Harlem. It's very cryptic.
Speaker 1: I'm doing you're doing math? No, I would never do that. No,
Speaker 1: I know it's it seems fun for like a second
Speaker 1: on breaking bad and then I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm curious as to what I would be curious to
Speaker 1: be a fly on the wall if I tried meth.
Speaker 1: But then other than that, no interest. Yeah, it seems
Speaker 1: like and it also is one of those roads where
Speaker 1: like you can actually see it on your face that
Speaker 1: you're doing it. Oh, you can eat your eats, your skin. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just doesn't look anything where you can tell that I'm
Speaker 1: doing it by looking at my face even when I'm
Speaker 1: not doing it. That's for me, that's not for me.
Speaker 1: Um all right, Well, it's my mom's birthday in a
Speaker 1: couple of days. Happy birthday to number one, tied with
Speaker 1: Stephen Guys with listener Die Fi. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say how old you are because that'shdel Look a year passed,
Speaker 1: thirty five, that's rude. Um. Yeah, no, it's like the
Speaker 1: birthday chain. It was fun. I had a very long
Speaker 1: weekend of partying, as you do. Yeah, you were, you were,
Speaker 1: you were, You were done by the end of by
Speaker 1: the time you left. Yeah, no, I was good when
Speaker 1: you stopped. Remember it out, I mean, well, everyone's just
Speaker 1: like well, I mean like people act surprised. I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: it's like I'm going to black out on my birthday
Speaker 1: literally named the Facebook invite Karan Fisher's birthday black aut Express.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, it wasn't like I do. I do this
Speaker 1: once a year. Give me on that train and also
Speaker 1: stop giving me whiskey shots too, Blackout Express. It was
Speaker 1: like twelve well, I think after like midnight, I was gone,
Speaker 1: but then I like left it like twelve thirty. No,
Speaker 1: I thought it was a little later than that. I
Speaker 1: did get into a cat fight. Oh yeah, you did.
Speaker 1: That's true. I did, but it wasn't. It didn't get physical, right, Well,
Speaker 1: this girl was nudging. We were we were so so
Speaker 1: you guys, we were eyeing this section of the bar
Speaker 1: we were at because I was like, as soon as
Speaker 1: those motherfucker's leave, yeah, we're going to take over this section.
Speaker 1: People told us to sit there because I called it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. And then and then this couple was there.
Speaker 1: They're making out, making out, making out. I'm like, all right, fine,
Speaker 1: do you I guess just show your straight affection to
Speaker 1: the world. Um but but yeah, So I was waiting
Speaker 1: for them to leave, and then we kind of took
Speaker 1: over half the spot because half of the people left.
Speaker 1: And then this girl was like, um, I have more
Speaker 1: people coming, and I was like, so do I it's
Speaker 1: my friend's birthday, so like funck yeah, but didn't say
Speaker 1: it like that, but that's what I thought, you know.
Speaker 1: And then I was really nice. And then her friends
Speaker 1: came and then they were like nudging me off of
Speaker 1: the bench. They kept sitting next to each other, and
Speaker 1: this chick hip checks me. We're sitting on the bench
Speaker 1: and she swings her fucking hips. It's a little blond
Speaker 1: ass motherfucker. It doesn't matter what hair color she had,
Speaker 1: because whatever it was, I would say, red hair ass motherfucker.
Speaker 1: But uh, she fucking hip checks me. And I was like,
Speaker 1: wait what and she goes, I'm sorry, I'm just sitting
Speaker 1: on my part of the table where my guests are.
Speaker 1: And I was like, Homely, don't play that. Homely, don't
Speaker 1: play that, ma'am. And I said, are you fucking serious
Speaker 1: right now? And I was like, you're ridiculous, You're a
Speaker 1: ridiculous person, and uh, and then she kept I went
Speaker 1: up Jeffrey Gury and came to the birthday par and
Speaker 1: I asked. I was like, get him to come to me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get up to hug him. And if I
Speaker 1: get up to hug him and this bitch scoots over,
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna lose my ship. Yeah, And then I
Speaker 1: got to hug him, bitch boots over. I sat down
Speaker 1: half on top of her and I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: are you fucking kidding me? We're all trying to have
Speaker 1: a good time, be nice. And she she looked at me,
Speaker 1: she said, some dumb ship. She was wasted. She was like, UM,
Speaker 1: I don't know you're talking about. I'm like, you know
Speaker 1: what the funk I'm talking about? No fucking be nice,
Speaker 1: which you know, if he wants someone to be nice.
Speaker 1: You should probably be nice to them, but my tone
Speaker 1: was not exactly nice anyway. Um. And then my one
Speaker 1: of my best friends, Jeff, who was there, he saw
Speaker 1: us talking. He was like what, he goes, did you
Speaker 1: just call her a horror? And I was like no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, no, no no no. I would never
Speaker 1: do that, and I really wouldn't. Um, but I thought
Speaker 1: that was fun. It was. It was a fun little fight.
Speaker 1: I never really fight with people ever, so it was
Speaker 1: like a little exhilarating. He was like, where is this
Speaker 1: gonna go? Bars are great? Has to fight with people.
Speaker 1: But then I didn't get up the whole fucking time
Speaker 1: because I didn't want her to win. And then her
Speaker 1: and a group left and we were like yeah and
Speaker 1: she and she goes, you're awful. You should die. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what that'll makes sense? And you're like, well I will eventually. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean we're all gonna die. You break it, You're
Speaker 1: gonna die. And I hope you're loved. I hope you're loved.
Speaker 1: Oh god, yes she was. Her. I was just like,
Speaker 1: no one wants you to be here. Eliminate girl, hate everybody. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't hate on girl. Yeah, That's what the whole back
Speaker 1: on my mind the whole time. I'm like, I gotta
Speaker 1: be nice. I gotta be you can't, don't don't call
Speaker 1: her names, which I didn't mean it bars in New York,
Speaker 1: especially downtown, like guys will be equally as rude, Like
Speaker 1: there's certainly no like oh hell yea actual treatment for
Speaker 1: being a woman, no matter which sex you're dealing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you ever, Everyone's rude. Everyone's pushing Build's character though. That's
Speaker 1: just the way it is New York. UM. One of
Speaker 1: the things I wanted to talk about, though, is only
Speaker 1: two people pointed it out, but they but they In
Speaker 1: an email last week we talked about rape Audrey and
Speaker 1: Daisy Duck documentary and Netflix that you should absolutely watch,
Speaker 1: and then we talked about the presidency and how fucking
Speaker 1: ridiculous it is, and two they were both men, which
Speaker 1: I was kind of like, our right go ahead. UM
Speaker 1: brought up the fact that it was very jarring for
Speaker 1: us to talk about rape and then talk about going too.
Speaker 1: Our support for hiliquipment, which I still support her a
Speaker 1: d percent. I will be voting for her UH in November.
Speaker 1: UM about the rape allegations against Bill Clinton, and how
Speaker 1: Hillary Clinton back then was trying to silence them. And
Speaker 1: I thought about that, and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: because just sexual scandals that Donald Trump has been involved it, like, I,
Speaker 1: I know there's too like ship to be honest, but um,
Speaker 1: but I remember reading that a long time ago, and
Speaker 1: then one of the guys sent me an article and
Speaker 1: I was researching it and I was like, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1: I totally remember hearing about that. And I think it's
Speaker 1: really important to not pretend that you're can't the candidate
Speaker 1: that you support is the most perfect person in the
Speaker 1: entire world. And that's really shitty of her to do.
Speaker 1: That was that's awful, and I and I hope she
Speaker 1: gets questioned by about it. Um about silencing a rape
Speaker 1: victim and then and then going ahead and saying people
Speaker 1: who are sexually assaulted and need to be advocated for
Speaker 1: that was really hypocritical, right, I mean I read up
Speaker 1: on that too. It was it was like unclear. But
Speaker 1: also it's like kind of it irritates me because she
Speaker 1: feel like she's being held accountable for a lot of
Speaker 1: ship that Clinton did. Absolutely the affairs have nothing to
Speaker 1: do with me, treated as an individual person, and like
Speaker 1: I mean, because it's like, if we're treating them as
Speaker 1: a couple, like her own husband wasn't treating her, even
Speaker 1: treating her as part of the couple, because he was
Speaker 1: cheating on her, Like she's not really He was like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, well, that that's what's interesting. After I watched
Speaker 1: the Anthony Weener documentary and I saw how much of
Speaker 1: a dedicated politician he is and how much he just
Speaker 1: fucking gets up and fights in the midst of that
Speaker 1: that affair or not affair, him sending pictures of his
Speaker 1: penis as something danger Andrew Danger after date, whatever the
Speaker 1: fun Carlos Danger, What a dumb fucking name. That's the
Speaker 1: part that offended me the most. And cheat on such
Speaker 1: a lovely but anyway, um, and I realized, like, you know,
Speaker 1: your sexual affairs and ship, it's very separate from your
Speaker 1: political life. Like when I masturbate, I'm not thinking of
Speaker 1: getting on stage in a couple of hours, I'm thinking
Speaker 1: of horny thoughts, two separate parts of the brain. You know. Well,
Speaker 1: anytime anyone brings it up, I'm like, Hi, Martin Luther
Speaker 1: King Jr. Cheating on his wife the whole time he's
Speaker 1: fighting for civil rights, like we still have a day
Speaker 1: dedicated to him, And doesn't mean that he's like didn't
Speaker 1: do great work. It means that he's a human being
Speaker 1: who shitty things, just like everybody out exactly. We're all
Speaker 1: pieces of shit. Even Luther King's a little bit better
Speaker 1: than definitely right, but even Dactor he made some misters. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I just wanted to recognize it because I think
Speaker 1: that what I see a lot of people doing is
Speaker 1: like Trump supporters. My dad is a Trump supporter a
Speaker 1: little he's reluctant about it. He's just a Republican, so
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm not going to vote for Hillary, and um,
Speaker 1: you know, he does this thing that I see a
Speaker 1: lot of people do. Well, what about Trump said this,
Speaker 1: this and this bad No, but he did, and you
Speaker 1: should acknowledge that, Like you shouldn't pretend that you're the
Speaker 1: candidate support is this perfect human being, because then you're
Speaker 1: holding somebody up to a ridiculous standard. And these candidates
Speaker 1: should be questioned about the ship that they've done in
Speaker 1: the past. Well, and also but a lot of it
Speaker 1: is like just like what news source for reading because
Speaker 1: like even like they're they're editing, like there's always a
Speaker 1: full Like they always make Trump look worse than he
Speaker 1: is because, like I mean, he seems like a caricature
Speaker 1: of a villain. And that's because like if any time,
Speaker 1: like they just isolate sound clips and video clips a lot,
Speaker 1: like I'm not, by no means defending him, and I
Speaker 1: don't think he's in any way, uh like has any
Speaker 1: skills to be president, but he um, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: they definitely like love playing the villain card with him,
Speaker 1: and we'll just isolate him saying one thing and then
Speaker 1: you can you can go to Google dot com and
Speaker 1: find the whole speech within like seconds. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: was like, and you can do it within fifteen seconds,
Speaker 1: and then you can be like, Okay, well this isn't
Speaker 1: as bad as I thought it was. Yeah, And the
Speaker 1: same thing, like I'm sure people are framing Hillary to
Speaker 1: look better than she has, even though that doesn't really
Speaker 1: seem to be happy. Yeah, I don't think they do
Speaker 1: that with her at all, just doing a little villain
Speaker 1: against villain basically, right, Well, if you've been in the
Speaker 1: spot like, because Trump has been in the spotlight for
Speaker 1: a long time, so he has that same thing that
Speaker 1: Hillary has, Like two people who've known a long time,
Speaker 1: it was easy for Barack Obama to look great. We
Speaker 1: knew him for like ten seconds. No one knew who
Speaker 1: that was before like one day he just decided to
Speaker 1: run for Standards. So it's like very easy to seem
Speaker 1: fresh and new when just like and you know what people, Oh,
Speaker 1: they've been working in politics for years. Yeah, but you
Speaker 1: have to be some kind of like politics aficionado to know.
Speaker 1: The average everyday person did not know a year and
Speaker 1: a half ago who Bernie Standards wasn't didn't know nine
Speaker 1: years ago who Barack Obama was, and they just didn't yeah. Period.
Speaker 1: And the story well, one of the reasons why I
Speaker 1: was I was talking to James about this in your
Speaker 1: comical ab outside of Nacho Bitches, because we were talking
Speaker 1: about things that are He was talking about things because
Speaker 1: he's a Trump supporter, but things that Trump did because
Speaker 1: I asked, I wanted to ask what he thought about
Speaker 1: the debates and um, and he referenced something that Trump
Speaker 1: did or I I asked him about it and he
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, that's sucked up. And I said, right,
Speaker 1: but that's something that you're willing to either forgive her,
Speaker 1: look past her, or take take with a grain of
Speaker 1: salt right, and he goes, yeah, I'm like, that's how
Speaker 1: I feel about this Hillary ship. Like most of the
Speaker 1: things that people are citing her for the making a
Speaker 1: rape victim uh scared or try to convince her to
Speaker 1: not talk about her story. That's fucking horrible. But I
Speaker 1: look back and go, yeah, her husband was the president,
Speaker 1: she probably wanted to run for office in the future. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what she did at shitty politics. But every person
Speaker 1: in politics, most people anyway that I've heard of, have
Speaker 1: some realm of that in their repertoire right, and as
Speaker 1: much as a feminist as anyone is. If I sat
Speaker 1: everyone listening down to this podcast down and said, hey,
Speaker 1: someone is saying that they were raped, but in order
Speaker 1: for them to find justice, you have to give up
Speaker 1: your entire career that you've worked for all your life.
Speaker 1: Do you do it? I think an awful lot of
Speaker 1: people would say no, yeah, and that's yeah. So that's
Speaker 1: and that's an uncomfortable, sick question. But it's like, hopefully
Speaker 1: we all. I would hope everyone would be like the
Speaker 1: justice fighter, but most people aren't the justice fighter because
Speaker 1: it's not fun, it's not good. You don't read the
Speaker 1: benefits of taking a stand. Yeah, like society reaps the
Speaker 1: benefits of it. But at the end of the day, like,
Speaker 1: the people who are doing like the most pure good
Speaker 1: are not the people at the top, because you get
Speaker 1: to get to the top, you gotta do dirty ship
Speaker 1: And that's more of a that's more of a reflection
Speaker 1: of our entire uh system than just like a person. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like also, I mean a lot of the top comedians
Speaker 1: that you probably like your assholes to. Dude, I know
Speaker 1: things about famous people that not everybody know. Like, you know,
Speaker 1: we've heard things about comics and it's like, oh god,
Speaker 1: damn it. Yeah, the deeper you get in, the worst
Speaker 1: this business gets, and the more questionable things you do.
Speaker 1: And then you hear yourself sitting and saying stuff is
Speaker 1: coming out of your mouth, and you're like, wow, you
Speaker 1: know what this was better before? Such as life. You know,
Speaker 1: it's always it's all fun and games when you're just
Speaker 1: open mic and it no one's giving your feedback. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's all funny games. When you're attempt or you work
Speaker 1: at Dwayne read, Yeah, it's all fine. It's all fine.
Speaker 1: At the bottom when you're answer into no one, guys,
Speaker 1: if you want more Guys We Fucked in Your Life?
Speaker 1: We have recorded several bonus episodes and will be continuing
Speaker 1: to record to bonus episodes of Guys We Fucked per month.
Speaker 1: And if you want in on this goodness, which you do,
Speaker 1: this is what you do. You go to your internets
Speaker 1: and you go to Howell dot fm, slash GWF. You
Speaker 1: sign up for a how subscription. It's kind of like
Speaker 1: Netflix for podcasts. You get access to a lot more
Speaker 1: other bonus content, to other really great podcasts. Um go
Speaker 1: to Howell dot com, Howell dot fm, slash GWF gime
Speaker 1: what Guys we Fucked in Your Life? If you want
Speaker 1: to sign up, you get a free month trial and
Speaker 1: it's only yeah, it's all. We've already posted to bonus episodes.
Speaker 1: One where we're just doing so much intense listener mail.
Speaker 1: The second one we have a therapy session with one
Speaker 1: of my best friends, Tommy. Really fun. He is getting
Speaker 1: a PhD. It wasn't just like a weird thing that
Speaker 1: we did. UM, so you can give good therapy. And secondly,
Speaker 1: a lot of people ask, what's another way I can
Speaker 1: support the podcast? Well, Howell is definitely a way that
Speaker 1: you can support guys we fucked. Secondly, you can buy merchandise.
Speaker 1: We finally have wonderful merchandise. T shirts, sweatshirts, topeags, tank
Speaker 1: tops all available. They are unisex. They support the show
Speaker 1: That's Sorry about Last Night Comedy dot com with fantastic
Speaker 1: designs by Elise Perry, a listener comes to us five.
Speaker 1: There's so many options. This coming Saturday, which is tomorrow,
Speaker 1: October eight, I will be in Newport, Rhode Island for
Speaker 1: my favorite comedy festival, the Rhode Island Comedy Festival, run
Speaker 1: by my friend Doug Ye. I'm so excited to eat
Speaker 1: lobster and just do comedy. I'm doing three shows. If
Speaker 1: you're in that town again, don't drunk drive um. And
Speaker 1: then on Sunday, October six, me and Katie Hannigan's show,
Speaker 1: The Comedian Project is moving to the stand uh that's
Speaker 1: to nine Third Avenue. Tickets are fifteen dollars and the
Speaker 1: showtime is nine thirty pm. And if you don't want
Speaker 1: to hear any jokes about sex, dating or relationships, that
Speaker 1: is the show for you. And then on Friday October
Speaker 1: at eleven fifteen pm, it's the Halloween edition of Nacho Bitches.
Speaker 1: Blair Saki and I co host this at New York
Speaker 1: Comedy Club. It's ten dollars with the code Nacho and
Speaker 1: the Halloween show is always so fun. And then the
Speaker 1: next day, Saturday, October twenty nine pm, Wendy Starling and
Speaker 1: I doing our Halloween version of glamor Pus and it's
Speaker 1: gonna be insane. We have variety acts, we have standard comedians,
Speaker 1: we have celebrity guests. Tickets are fifteen bucks. Linked is
Speaker 1: in the description of this podcast. Don't be full. It
Speaker 1: sells out every month. Tour dates um so in November
Speaker 1: we will be on tour basically all month. Tickets to
Speaker 1: all these shows are between twenty and twenty five dollars.
Speaker 1: A couple of the venues are sixteen and up, but
Speaker 1: just check the individual venue for details such as that.
Speaker 1: Uh November two, Syracuse, New York, we will be at
Speaker 1: The Funny Own. November three, Albany, New York. The Funny Bone,
Speaker 1: New York City will be back on November five for
Speaker 1: a live recording of the Guys We Fucked podcast at
Speaker 1: Carolines on Broadway. The next day, November six, We're going
Speaker 1: to Hartford, Connecticut to perform the Guys We Fun Live
Speaker 1: Experience show at the Funny Bone. November nine, Irvine, California.
Speaker 1: We will be at the Improv November tenth, Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: We sold out the Comedy Store, so I hope you
Speaker 1: got tickets. We love you. November eleventh, Phoenix, Arizona. We
Speaker 1: are at Stand Up liveth Ontario, California. At the Improv
Speaker 1: UH November fourteenth, San Francisco, California. We are also sold out.
Speaker 1: November sixte Indianapolis, Indiana. Crackers UH November sevent Columbus, Ohio.
Speaker 1: We will be at the Funny Bone the next day,
Speaker 1: November eighteenth, Chicago, Illinois. I have never been inside of
Speaker 1: why I'm so excited. We're gonna be doing the live
Speaker 1: recording of Guys Who Sucked at the end of the
Speaker 1: NAM Theater and at the and it's gonna be fun.
Speaker 1: And then we're wrapping up this leg of the tour.
Speaker 1: This leg. I repeat this leg UH in Cleveland, Ohio
Speaker 1: on November twenty at Hilarities. Gonna be a really fun tour.
Speaker 1: And unless we noted it verbally, these are all guys
Speaker 1: we fucked. The experience shows that means you get to
Speaker 1: participate you guys, This ship is real, y'all. You fucking
Speaker 1: love them, um, and thank you so much to today's
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Speaker 1: now we're gonna read some listener emails. Uh, this one
Speaker 1: is from someone who I don't know if we can
Speaker 1: say their name. Hey, ladies, First off, I just love
Speaker 1: how you said in the intro episode blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: This is about the Toronto episode. Um, anyway I can say,
Speaker 1: I've had a mild is that a thing form of
Speaker 1: rape by my boyfriend of two years and the father
Speaker 1: of my child. We are definitely no longer together. But
Speaker 1: other than that, I was also raised to do what
Speaker 1: people want, not just sexually, but in all forms of
Speaker 1: doing what my parents say, doing what coaches say, doing
Speaker 1: what boyfriends say, etcetera. And consent has really suck with me.
Speaker 1: That's interesting. We've had a lot of episodes about things
Speaker 1: like that. Now that I'm raising a child, especially a
Speaker 1: female child, I have been trying really hard to teach
Speaker 1: her consent and that it's okay to feel uncomfortable. You
Speaker 1: made the comment that they needed to teach consent sooner,
Speaker 1: like in high school, but I feel consent should be
Speaker 1: taught from the beginning. My daughter is just under two,
Speaker 1: and I make sure she knows she doesn't have to
Speaker 1: kiss me goodbye. I think she meant to say, you
Speaker 1: don't have to feel uncomfortable, like it's never okay, because
Speaker 1: I'm reading that and I'm like, okay, well we'll see
Speaker 1: where this is going. Um, she doesn't have to hug
Speaker 1: that random great aunt who smells weird. She doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be around people who say uncomfortable things around her,
Speaker 1: and that basically, if she doesn't want to do something,
Speaker 1: she doesn't have to. I also make sure that I
Speaker 1: and everyone else who interacts with her asks her if
Speaker 1: she's okay with something and offer an alternative if it's
Speaker 1: not okay. For example, can grandma give you a hug?
Speaker 1: And if she says no, I'll say something like, how
Speaker 1: about you show her how good you can high five?
Speaker 1: I also make sure she asks other people for permission
Speaker 1: in the same manner. But then she apologizes for making
Speaker 1: the email long. Never never stop, apologize, I apologize. You know,
Speaker 1: the people who don't apologize about their emails have the
Speaker 1: longest fucking emails. Yeah. And also if you think, if
Speaker 1: you truly are upset that the email is too long,
Speaker 1: ago back an edit it. You have control over this situation,
Speaker 1: my friend. But anyway, I love this. I love this email.
Speaker 1: It's more, you know, less asking for advice, more just
Speaker 1: like a comment on the what we talked about in
Speaker 1: the intro for our Live in Toronto episode. But I
Speaker 1: think it's so important because I remember any instances in
Speaker 1: my childhood where a family friend would come over or something,
Speaker 1: and like they would be like, oh, give someone so
Speaker 1: a kiss, and like I didn't want to give them
Speaker 1: a kiss. My dad at this front Uncle wild Bill,
Speaker 1: super nice, super nice guy, A wasn't my uncle Number
Speaker 1: two had the name wild in his nickname. I'm like five,
Speaker 1: see smelled of booze, which I didn't know what booze
Speaker 1: were when I was five, but I knew it wasn't
Speaker 1: something I smelled like, you know, really really my baby
Speaker 1: friends smell like this, What the funk? Wild Bill? Yeah,
Speaker 1: real nice guy. Maybe listen to the podcast. Not sure
Speaker 1: if he's still alive anyway, I never hear anything bad,
Speaker 1: but just like, was not someone who at five like
Speaker 1: I'm like, like I have always been like the way
Speaker 1: I am like for my whole life. I've been like
Speaker 1: that since I was a little kid. So like at five,
Speaker 1: if I didn't want to hug someone, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to hug him, And what would you say? Like I know,
Speaker 1: like I was very like it's a And the thing is,
Speaker 1: like anyone any adult who is like of sound mind
Speaker 1: truly shouldn't care if you don't if if you get
Speaker 1: upset because the five year old, isn't kissing you like
Speaker 1: red flag? Yeah, that's a red flag, red fucking flag.
Speaker 1: Or also you are someone who is like so desperately
Speaker 1: in need of love, Like kids are fucking kids. Sometimes
Speaker 1: they don't want to do things, and like why would
Speaker 1: you even want a kiss or a hug that is
Speaker 1: forced or a hug only is meaningful if it is genuine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It's I don't think it's a lack of respect.
Speaker 1: It's just a fucking kid being a fucking kid, because
Speaker 1: we're just we're just like teaching them like hugs and
Speaker 1: kisses or signs of affection. But like also people show
Speaker 1: affection in different ways. I don't really like hugging to
Speaker 1: this day a lot of people, you know, So that's no,
Speaker 1: It's well, it's always interesting going back to like certain
Speaker 1: parts of your childhood like that that was that was
Speaker 1: a really interesting email. And I think back to the
Speaker 1: part times when I was a kid and like my
Speaker 1: parents friends will come up, oh my god, you look
Speaker 1: so pretty in your dress. I remember my mom would
Speaker 1: be like, turn around, do a twirl. But then they
Speaker 1: get back. I'm like the fun I know she didn't
Speaker 1: mean anything, but these little little things that this getting grained,
Speaker 1: teach you to follow somebody's that someone tells you what
Speaker 1: to do, you do it, and then that could of course,
Speaker 1: I completely see the pathway to that resulting in a
Speaker 1: lot of women feeling bad or feeling like they don't
Speaker 1: want to make the guy feel bad, so they fuck them,
Speaker 1: or they don't really want to say no, but they
Speaker 1: say no in other ways that are not direct, and
Speaker 1: something happens that she didn't want to happen or he
Speaker 1: didn't want to happen, and and there are these direct links.
Speaker 1: And I think that treating your child with respect from
Speaker 1: day one and letting to make their own decisions on
Speaker 1: so many things is so important. Yeah, And it's this
Speaker 1: seem it's it seems like with a pet, Like you
Speaker 1: don't just fucking go and rip someone's dog off the ground.
Speaker 1: Like you approach them slowly, you'll let them sniff the
Speaker 1: back of your hand, and like if the dog doesn't
Speaker 1: want kise you, dogs in the bark at you or
Speaker 1: snap at you, and like that's the same Like humans
Speaker 1: don't act like that, but it's the same thing. Like
Speaker 1: I always ask if I could pet someone, Yeah, you
Speaker 1: just sometimes you just don't want to be touched, like
Speaker 1: what ever? And then then also sometimes like I would
Speaker 1: just like run nude through the living room like that
Speaker 1: was my par and that's what you wanted to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was five year old credit. Yeah, I won't give
Speaker 1: you a kiss, ball, give you a little shot. I'll
Speaker 1: give a little flash, flash, flash flash. That's what I
Speaker 1: was comfortable with. And look, but don't talk. Meanwhile, I
Speaker 1: was hugging every goddamn person on the block with dress,
Speaker 1: with my dress on and socks on and pants under
Speaker 1: the dress. Time, just different, different strokes for different way
Speaker 1: I want to do that. Yeah, the strokes your kids,
Speaker 1: you know, don't stroke kids. Fine, that's horrible. Um. This
Speaker 1: next email, the subject is this question. I am a
Speaker 1: twenty four year old African American female police officer. You are.
Speaker 1: I've always been the stereotypical strong black woman with an
Speaker 1: attitude to snap anyone into place. However, I'm really into
Speaker 1: rape fantasy and being dominated, which I guess is surprising
Speaker 1: to the guys. I've disclosed this too in the past,
Speaker 1: and I love this podcast because I finally feel like
Speaker 1: there are women out there who understand my sexual fantasies
Speaker 1: and desires. Uh. My current boyfriend is love of my
Speaker 1: life and he is the epitome of a great man
Speaker 1: who I want to marry someday. However, our sex lives
Speaker 1: our sex drives are completely different. Although he's great at
Speaker 1: dominating me better than any other man I've ever been with,
Speaker 1: we don't have sex as often as I like. We
Speaker 1: both work fifty to sixty hours a week, and he
Speaker 1: really has the energy to give me more than missionary
Speaker 1: or doggy style quickies. He also just doesn't find interest
Speaker 1: in many other sexual fantasies besides dominating me. Occasionally, I
Speaker 1: find myself fantasizing often about other men. I watch a
Speaker 1: lot of porn and masturbates so often I think it
Speaker 1: should should be illegal. Girl me too. I love the
Speaker 1: idea of guy on guy girl and girl group sex,
Speaker 1: gang bangs for sex, amongst so many other things that
Speaker 1: aren't aren't the norm. My boyfriend and I have had
Speaker 1: numerous fights about sex and how much more I need.
Speaker 1: I love him so much, but sometimes I feel so
Speaker 1: sexually neglected. I wonder if I'll be able to stay
Speaker 1: faithful to him. I guess my question is because he
Speaker 1: and I are so seemingly sexually incompatible. Does this mean
Speaker 1: he's not really the one for me? Could my sexual
Speaker 1: frustrations ruin my relationship? What should I do? Well, you're
Speaker 1: twenty four, you're young. Yeah, I forgot that. I think
Speaker 1: that's uh. I mean, yeah, I if you're not sexually
Speaker 1: compatible and you're already to the point where he's complaining
Speaker 1: or seems like upset, you've had fights over so tired
Speaker 1: at that because he worked six hours a week. But
Speaker 1: that's like, yeah, because I I worked that long when
Speaker 1: I was that age too, But like, you shouldn't be
Speaker 1: getting that tired and tired he's tired. Maybe he needs
Speaker 1: to drink more water. You do have to be hydrated often.
Speaker 1: But I think this is something that people feel bad
Speaker 1: about prioritizing. But you absolutely should. He's the love of
Speaker 1: I don't think he's the love of your life. I
Speaker 1: mean maybe emotionally compatible, you guys are great. Maybe he's
Speaker 1: a great man, a great boyfriend, But when it comes
Speaker 1: to sex, you're either going to nip it in the
Speaker 1: butt now or down the road when you have five
Speaker 1: kids you want a divorce? Yeah, I think sometime times
Speaker 1: early on, like and like, I'm not sure how many
Speaker 1: relationships you've been on. But like in the first couple
Speaker 1: of ones, it's hard to defferent differentiate like a romantic
Speaker 1: sexual love from just love, and like there are two
Speaker 1: different things, and like I have a very deep love
Speaker 1: for like a lot of my friends. And sometimes that's
Speaker 1: even tricky because you're like, do I like, like, like
Speaker 1: you know a male friend that you love very deeply,
Speaker 1: Like you're like, do I love this person more than
Speaker 1: just a friend? Um? But then you're like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: then you can backcheck and go like, well, no, I don't,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to suck this person's brains out
Speaker 1: with this woman though she she needs to be with
Speaker 1: somebody who will go on sexual adventures with her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to, ye, they're out there. Like my point being,
Speaker 1: I think this guy is just like your best friend. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I do, especially if you're having fights over and like
Speaker 1: you should do her into so much ship, so much
Speaker 1: cool ship. You should be with somebody who's also into
Speaker 1: all this ship so you can explore together. Like one
Speaker 1: of the things I think that one of the most
Speaker 1: exciting things about my relationship with Stephen is that we'll
Speaker 1: go on sexual adventures all the time. And that's what
Speaker 1: we'll spice it up, because sometimes I'm just like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to have I don't feel like having said,
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like having sex. And then we'll
Speaker 1: travel someplace. I'm like, let's check out a sex club
Speaker 1: and we'll look online, we'll do it, and it'll fucking
Speaker 1: put a spark back in us for the next however
Speaker 1: many months. It's really exciting. But the fact that we're
Speaker 1: both down to do that is so key. And you,
Speaker 1: the woman who wrote us you want to do so
Speaker 1: many more things that your your current boyfriend is does
Speaker 1: not seem into Yeah, you just have be on part like.
Speaker 1: It doesn't. It doesn't mean like everyone has to be
Speaker 1: like going on sexual avengers. It just means if you
Speaker 1: be on par with whoever your partner is. So like,
Speaker 1: some people are totally fine with like just chilling out
Speaker 1: having sex a couple of days a week. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: would probably be fine. Yeah, I mean I'm tired. I'm
Speaker 1: fine with that most of the time. And every six months,
Speaker 1: I feel like every six to eight months we have
Speaker 1: a three way and it's like, oh nice, Like it
Speaker 1: just puts a spark back into it. It's immigorating. And
Speaker 1: also like if at twenty four you feel like you're
Speaker 1: having to like have like conversations or arguments or really
Speaker 1: like put someone to have sex, feel like it's not
Speaker 1: going to get better, definitely older because you've already tried
Speaker 1: to Yeah, you've already tried to talk to him. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's got The conversations are going very well,
Speaker 1: and I don't think he's the person for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think before just like dumping him out of the blue,
Speaker 1: I think you need to sit down and have like
Speaker 1: probably one at least one more like serious conversation. You
Speaker 1: kind of make it very clear that it's come to
Speaker 1: your attention that this is a make or break for
Speaker 1: you and that you love him deeply and you're willing
Speaker 1: to try new things and you know, open to any
Speaker 1: suggestions he might have. Yeah, maybe there's something that he
Speaker 1: wants to try and he's not he's not comfortable sharing
Speaker 1: it yet, and maybe you can coax it out of him.
Speaker 1: But but you know, I think that if you can't
Speaker 1: nip it in the bud quickly, like suit you're during
Speaker 1: your next talk about it, you gotta because the serious
Speaker 1: you're thinking of. Yeah, sometimes because sometimes I feel like
Speaker 1: these emails, like it seems more serious than the email,
Speaker 1: or like you get across that it's more serious in
Speaker 1: the email, then you have the courage to tell your
Speaker 1: partner like maybe you kind of just like in passing
Speaker 1: said something to him and then you were as urgent email.
Speaker 1: Just make sure that he has the opportunity to know
Speaker 1: how important this is to you. And if after fully
Speaker 1: understanding that he's still a no go for him, then
Speaker 1: I think you have to be like I think we
Speaker 1: need to go our several ways. Stan Savage has the
Speaker 1: Savage Love Cast, always says, are you willing to pay
Speaker 1: the price of admission to be with your partner? And
Speaker 1: one of the prices of a mission to be with
Speaker 1: you is to be to have sex more often than
Speaker 1: you're having it and to get adventurous. And if he
Speaker 1: isn't interested in that, that's completely fine, but you guys
Speaker 1: should establish that this relationship might not be long last
Speaker 1: thing because of that. And one of my is so
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and off by my cell
Speaker 1: phone charger and then have to go out and buy
Speaker 1: a new one because my boyfriend took it. What an asshole?
Speaker 1: What everyone has a price? Shit? Every it has you Now,
Speaker 1: I do. When I cleaned the house, I moved Steven's
Speaker 1: mail the way he can't find it, and then he
Speaker 1: doesn't pay bills and he's like Christina, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did that. I'm sorry, but I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: better at it. Speaking of Dan Savage, if you are
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, New York, tomorrow Saturday, the eighth of October,
Speaker 1: Dan Savage has this amazing amateur porn film festival called
Speaker 1: Hump and it's happening in Brooklyn tomorrow. Uh there's three
Speaker 1: times thirty and if you just go to Hump filmfest
Speaker 1: dot com you can get all the information you need
Speaker 1: by tickets. It is one of my favorite events of
Speaker 1: the year. Uh. People anonymously submit pornos it Basically, it's
Speaker 1: your chance to be a porn star for a night. Um,
Speaker 1: there's no cell phones. You cannot take your cell phone
Speaker 1: out during the film festival for any reason. That's how
Speaker 1: they secure the amanimity of the actors. Um and and
Speaker 1: not leaking out anywhere. But it is. It is such
Speaker 1: an amazing night to watch a bunch of amateur porn films.
Speaker 1: Some are funny, some are deep summer so sexy, some
Speaker 1: are not. Some are great with a room full of people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's really fun. We've both been there. Um And guess
Speaker 1: who else is fun? This week's guest argus. Um. So
Speaker 1: this is someone we've been wanting to have on the
Speaker 1: podcast for a very long time. It is such an
Speaker 1: honor to have him here. You might know him from
Speaker 1: his cable access show that turned into a real TV show,
Speaker 1: Wayne's World Dreams Do Come True. Um. And he also
Speaker 1: has a what I only can imagine it's going to
Speaker 1: be an outstanding one man show called Career Suicide that's
Speaker 1: running off Broadway for a limited time in New York City.
Speaker 1: One of just like the coolest comics in New York
Speaker 1: and possibly around. He's done so many innovative things. Uh,
Speaker 1: And we talk about in a array of topics such
Speaker 1: a fun, a lot of depression. Hell yeah, hell yeah,
Speaker 1: hell yeah depression with him today, Ladies and gentlemen, please
Speaker 1: welcome to the podcast. Chris Gether telling me you when
Speaker 1: it's good, then you think that you'll know. They tell
Speaker 1: me when it's bad, then you think it will show.
Speaker 1: But what happens when the good and the bad are
Speaker 1: respectively ugly and everyone around seems a little the boring.
Speaker 1: Every person that's around it, it's a little bit boring.
Speaker 1: I think that's when you'll know you are really good.
Speaker 1: The bad call your mother, call your doctor. You're sad.
Speaker 1: You can't take things, you can't break things. So it
Speaker 1: said you feel bad and spending all your tingue alone.
Speaker 1: You start to think that you're sad. I know it's bad.
Speaker 1: They tell me when it's right, then you just let
Speaker 1: it grow. They tell me when it's wrong, and you
Speaker 1: just what happens when the wrong on the right. I
Speaker 1: just definitely everyone has been noticed from this keeps people
Speaker 1: will never miss you. So I think that's when you'll know.
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's so cool that you're here. I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to here a big fan. I'm a big fan. Stop.
Speaker 1: I've been saying that for a while. So honored my
Speaker 1: body Burr Biggs turned me onto the show. That's the
Speaker 1: coolest story I've ever heard about it. But that was
Speaker 1: our favorite story about the part. I remember we were
Speaker 1: we were driving to a show in Virginia and he
Speaker 1: was like, I've been listening to this show and it's
Speaker 1: really good. It's it's really intense, and we listened to
Speaker 1: like a whole bunch of episodes. I've been listening ever since.
Speaker 1: That's right. Well, your podcast, Beautiful Anonymous is amazing, thanks Steven,
Speaker 1: and I listened to all the time. And I think
Speaker 1: I listened to this one episode where you had a
Speaker 1: call where this guy ended up having homeless guy living
Speaker 1: in his tree house who was like a heroin dealer.
Speaker 1: That episode was nuts. I was I don't know if
Speaker 1: that guy was telling the truth at all. I was
Speaker 1: wondering that too, and I was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. You just don't like entertaining episodes,
Speaker 1: very entertaining. One of the things you said was it's
Speaker 1: you're either your therapist told you or you just said
Speaker 1: this yourself that you had to try not to turn
Speaker 1: your podcast into therapy. And that's I totally got that.
Speaker 1: But what do you what are the dangers of doing
Speaker 1: mat or why why are you cautious about it? Well?
Speaker 1: I think like there's people who go to school for
Speaker 1: a real long time to know how to do that
Speaker 1: and know when it's helping and hurting, and I'm not
Speaker 1: one of those people. And it's weird, like I've talked
Speaker 1: so much about my own um like I'm I've I've
Speaker 1: gone crazy a couple of times in my life and
Speaker 1: I take pills for it and I see a shrink
Speaker 1: and I've always been really open about that and I'm
Speaker 1: proud of that. But people reach out um a lot.
Speaker 1: Like people. People definitely send a lot of emails and
Speaker 1: Facebook messages and stuff asking for my help, and I've
Speaker 1: realized that, like there's a certain degree to which I
Speaker 1: can help. And then I've also been involved in some
Speaker 1: situations where like I'll answer and then maybe a reply
Speaker 1: I'll come back where I'll realize like, oh, this person
Speaker 1: is like actually avoiding getting help by reaching out to
Speaker 1: some random comedian they don't even know. And then I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like validating like this person. Like like
Speaker 1: I've had a couple of situations over the years where
Speaker 1: people will be like, yeah, you get it. Like my
Speaker 1: mom tried to tell me I have to go to
Speaker 1: a hospital, and I'm like, you don't get it, but
Speaker 1: but gether gets and I'm like, no, you should probably
Speaker 1: go to a hospital. I don't know you, your mom
Speaker 1: knows you. I'm there. I don't want to get too specific,
Speaker 1: but there was there was one. There's been a few
Speaker 1: situations in particular, one that comes to mind where there
Speaker 1: was a very very intense fan who started leaving like
Speaker 1: sending me some messages saying how much I helped, And
Speaker 1: then it turned into him like leaving comments on my
Speaker 1: wife's Facebook posts and stuff, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is too much where they inappropriate, not outright inappropriate,
Speaker 1: but just considered. And then and then I started getting
Speaker 1: tweets from his friends that were like, you have to
Speaker 1: talk to him about this. He's You're the only person
Speaker 1: you'll listen to. And I was like, I don't, actually
Speaker 1: you know this person, so so so a couple of
Speaker 1: situations like that where I've realized, like, yeah, the the
Speaker 1: advice of be a good person who listens and can
Speaker 1: can talk casually about this stuff is good. But but
Speaker 1: the advice of maybe don't try to actually present yourself
Speaker 1: as someone who can offer a solution is a good
Speaker 1: one because then maybe we'll help me avoid the situations
Speaker 1: where people go it's weird because like, especially through I
Speaker 1: had a pub I have a TV show and it
Speaker 1: used to be on public access, and that era of
Speaker 1: my life it got very like CULTI and like I
Speaker 1: enjoy that I have fun with that. But there's definitely
Speaker 1: an element of, like there's a few fans of mine
Speaker 1: where if I said, like we should all move to
Speaker 1: a compound and start having sex with each other, dear Diary,
Speaker 1: best day Out, maybe totally down, totally down to it
Speaker 1: into that, But I also kind of have to be
Speaker 1: responsible about that. Yeah, that's that line be aware of. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I want to enjoy that people are passionate about
Speaker 1: my stuff, but I don't want to get so caught
Speaker 1: up in it. You're start your own religion. Years ago,
Speaker 1: I would have been totally down, never been in a sex.
Speaker 1: I feel like they're fun, I would imagine. I think
Speaker 1: those things from what I've read, they seem like they're
Speaker 1: really fun, and then the moment they're not fun, it's
Speaker 1: like everyone's super not fun. Everyone's Yeah, so what happened
Speaker 1: in your life that a couple of years ago you
Speaker 1: would have been into being like this all powerful leader. Well,
Speaker 1: the big thing that changed in my life, and you
Speaker 1: can kind of like if anybody has ever followed my work,
Speaker 1: like you can see I got a little I used
Speaker 1: to be like all access. I used to do a
Speaker 1: lot of like weird old projects where I'd wind up
Speaker 1: like sleeping on fans floors. And I walked across the
Speaker 1: country once and just like got rides and shelter from fans.
Speaker 1: And that really a lot of that change when I
Speaker 1: got married, because when you get married all of a
Speaker 1: sudden because like stop sleeping in strangers home. No, she
Speaker 1: never even asked that, like she's into it. But the
Speaker 1: issue is more like I was like all access to
Speaker 1: a degree that I think was pretty like pretty extreme,
Speaker 1: and like like I would have like a lot of
Speaker 1: people who work on my show are just like fans
Speaker 1: who showed up one day where I was like, no,
Speaker 1: just work on Now they have jobs and that's cool,
Speaker 1: and like like yeah, it's awesome, it's nice, but but
Speaker 1: you got if there comes a time I imagine where
Speaker 1: there I don't know, it gets to me a little much.
Speaker 1: Yeah it does. And they're also I will say too,
Speaker 1: because I have, like I've had enough depression issues that
Speaker 1: there was like there's a long stretch of my life
Speaker 1: where I was like, well, if some fan flips out
Speaker 1: and kills me, I don't really care, Like I don't care,
Speaker 1: that would be a cool way to go out, like legendary.
Speaker 1: And now I have a wife. I have a wife.
Speaker 1: I'd rather someone not kill her. So um, but you're
Speaker 1: so okay with someone killing you. I wouldn't love it.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't be the best day ever. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I used to maybe romance like that, but I will
Speaker 1: say too. There was a stretch where the showrunner of
Speaker 1: my show, my friend j D has always been in
Speaker 1: charge of my show, starting from public astill now, there
Speaker 1: was a stretch where it got so intense that he
Speaker 1: used to keep a list of names where if anything
Speaker 1: happened to me, he was going to immediately go to
Speaker 1: the police and say, like just check into these people
Speaker 1: because it's like intense and I've had to kind of
Speaker 1: like people would possibly kill you. People where if I
Speaker 1: was like the dad's under which the body might be
Speaker 1: very trusting. There was a stretch where it was like
Speaker 1: I was definitely one of those situations where someone said
Speaker 1: to me like I love you and then stabbed me
Speaker 1: and when I hate you, Like that wouldn't have been
Speaker 1: it wouldn't have been so surprised. Yeah, like the Monica
Speaker 1: sell Us of comedy a little bit, damn, And what
Speaker 1: were the incidents that you because one of the things
Speaker 1: I followed you since when I first moved to New York,
Speaker 1: I would go to ask Catt all the time. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's awesome nine years ago. Yeah, I remember the p
Speaker 1: Diddy come into your showy remember that just a whole Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I was kind of the big one that started. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like the cult. Yeah, yeah, that was really cool to
Speaker 1: see like unfold on social media and stuff. Um, And
Speaker 1: I loved when you talked about depression and you did
Speaker 1: a blog post a long time ago where you took
Speaker 1: a photo, you posted a photo of yourself in the
Speaker 1: midst of a depressive episode. And that was the first
Speaker 1: time ever saw like, that's what my mom looks like
Speaker 1: when she she's bi polar. And so I sent that
Speaker 1: blog post to her and she was like it like
Speaker 1: kind of saved her life a little bit and really
Speaker 1: helped her because she's still under the belief that like
Speaker 1: it's very taboo. I shouldn't talk about it. I don't
Speaker 1: want to burden anybody with it. Obviously were her family,
Speaker 1: so we know about it. But so I'm interested, like,
Speaker 1: do is what you have just clinical depression anything else?
Speaker 1: It's funny, like I've had some doctors tell me I'm bipolar.
Speaker 1: I've heard manic depression. I've heard those are the same thing.
Speaker 1: I've had doctors tell me I'm neither of those, and
Speaker 1: like it's machine. It's like no one knows, yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's kind of all made up, and I'm okay with that,
Speaker 1: Like I don't think that makes it like snake oil.
Speaker 1: Like I take my prescriptions and you know, there's this book,
Speaker 1: the d s M. Do you know about the d
Speaker 1: s M. They're up to the d s M five.
Speaker 1: This is like, oh yeah, this is like the book
Speaker 1: that all mental health professionals used for their diagnoses, but
Speaker 1: like they update it and change it every few years.
Speaker 1: I think even they say things are kind of like
Speaker 1: pretty fluid. So I don't know. It's definitely something in
Speaker 1: the realm of manic depression UM, and it's much more
Speaker 1: under control than it used to be. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: spent a long time in life where I'd have like
Speaker 1: very high highs and then extremely dangerous lows. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: times that you said that you went crazy a few
Speaker 1: times in your life from depression, Like what did that?
Speaker 1: What was that? Like? Well, for me, it's it's been
Speaker 1: it's been weird. Like one of the things I've realized
Speaker 1: as I've gotten older. Is I think the craziest times
Speaker 1: are actually in the manic times, Like I don't think
Speaker 1: that gets talked about as much because the depression stops
Speaker 1: you in your tracks and people can see it, like
Speaker 1: people know what that looks like. But my most dangerous
Speaker 1: times were actually when I was on the other end
Speaker 1: of the spectrum, Like that's when I like both. I
Speaker 1: would say the most dangerous depression I ever had was
Speaker 1: probably two thousand. Well, it's tough to say because I
Speaker 1: didn't really get treatment until I was about twenty two.
Speaker 1: Before that, there were times where I was like actively
Speaker 1: putting myself in danger where you confused at the time,
Speaker 1: like what am I doing? Whatever? Well, I knew something
Speaker 1: was up, and I knew like I knew They're like
Speaker 1: it would I feel like what happens with me? Which
Speaker 1: is all I can speak to. Sometimes I'll get manic
Speaker 1: and I'll just keep like pushing myself into situations where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I am aware that this is not totally
Speaker 1: safe or cool, but man is it fun And it
Speaker 1: makes me feel like it's this adrenaline rush I'm chasing.
Speaker 1: And then what happens is the bottom falls out from
Speaker 1: that and then the depression just like bites me in
Speaker 1: the ass. Was walking across country and sleeping people's houses.
Speaker 1: One of those times where you were pushing yourself to
Speaker 1: do something. Man, I mean, that's cool, I probably would
Speaker 1: do I will well, I will say I don't think
Speaker 1: it was totally that, But I do think one of
Speaker 1: the things I've only realized in the last year or
Speaker 1: two is that I definitely used performing as a way
Speaker 1: to chase adrenaline, and I think it had some elements
Speaker 1: of that of I think for me, comedy, um and
Speaker 1: especially some of the weirder stuff I've done was maybe
Speaker 1: a way to kind of channel that energy into something
Speaker 1: that was a little more productive or a little bit
Speaker 1: more um public, like to make an art project out
Speaker 1: of the fact that I want to kind of be
Speaker 1: a weirdo. Was probably healthier than just doing it in private,
Speaker 1: but not still not the healthiest thing. But yes, since
Speaker 1: I've been in treatment, the bottom's really falling out twice.
Speaker 1: Like depression wise, two thousand seven was very very bad,
Speaker 1: and then two thousand twelve. They were about three or
Speaker 1: four months of two thousand and twelve where it was
Speaker 1: just mania to a degree that I look back and
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, that was what did you like stance
Speaker 1: around naked in the street? Know, Well, what happened in
Speaker 1: two thousand twelve was I think it's actually probably dove
Speaker 1: tails into the podcast nicely. I basically was in a
Speaker 1: relationship on and off or eight years, and there was
Speaker 1: a year we started dating in two thousand and four.
Speaker 1: We broke up for all of two thousand and ten
Speaker 1: and I just went nuts. And I got a sitcom
Speaker 1: that year and it kind of famously bombed. And then
Speaker 1: but I was like, definitely, like all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: had like money for the first time. And I'll tell
Speaker 1: you when when you have a sitcom and there's all
Speaker 1: this press, like like girls were coming out of the woodwork,
Speaker 1: and it was this bizarre thing where like if I
Speaker 1: signed on to Facebook after midnight, someone would hit on
Speaker 1: me like I just became a famous person for a
Speaker 1: few months, and it was this very intoxicating thing, and
Speaker 1: um and and and then I got back together with
Speaker 1: the old girlfriend, and then two thousand and twelve we
Speaker 1: broke up for good. But the way we broke up
Speaker 1: I still feel very bad about. She does not speak
Speaker 1: to me, and I think a lot of it is
Speaker 1: because the circumstances of that is I fell off the
Speaker 1: wagon and did just a ton of M D M
Speaker 1: A at Bonaro, I performed at and great, du Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never done it. It's hallucinogenic, right, well, I don't
Speaker 1: know much. It's like what it's what makes ecstasy ecstasy
Speaker 1: quarter one shuffleboard bar. It was really all the one
Speaker 1: out and yes, it was amazing. My friends got married
Speaker 1: there and I was the reverence. That's awesome, that's the
Speaker 1: one all the time, Molly, that's rad i ate you
Speaker 1: ate a quarter of a pill. I ate three hundred
Speaker 1: dollars in thirties worth in thirty six hours. I didn't
Speaker 1: really know how it worked, and addict side kicked in
Speaker 1: and I went nuts. Came back to New York and
Speaker 1: and what was that like? Doing that much? It was
Speaker 1: we just like someone touched me. It was really really
Speaker 1: fun until it wasn't. And then people started going like
Speaker 1: whoa dude, slow down? And I was like no, more
Speaker 1: and more and more because I have an addict thing
Speaker 1: like I don't drink for a reason. And then I
Speaker 1: broke up with this girl and then that the aftermath
Speaker 1: of that was extreme and in the middle of that
Speaker 1: I didn't heartbreak you mean, or getting into being single,
Speaker 1: getting into single any party show and had the show
Speaker 1: and what was the reason for the final breakup though,
Speaker 1: Well it was it was I was basically we did
Speaker 1: the Chris Gather show at Bonnary and like, these are
Speaker 1: the people who I was, I'm closest with in life
Speaker 1: like this, this was a situation, like it was a
Speaker 1: very very special thing in my life that will never
Speaker 1: happen again, where we switched my show from UCB to
Speaker 1: Public Access and all these people found it and they
Speaker 1: were all just kind of these like very fringe filmmakers
Speaker 1: and and I also looked back at that era and
Speaker 1: feel like, I wonder how you guys feel like there
Speaker 1: used to be like an all scene in New York
Speaker 1: that was like raffifi and it was like Eugene and
Speaker 1: Dmitri and and Bobby Tisdale and those guys, and that
Speaker 1: I think kind of went away. And now I think
Speaker 1: it's sort of back with like Joe Firestone and Julio
Speaker 1: Torres and Brett Davis. But there was an era where
Speaker 1: I think maybe my show was like where the weirdos
Speaker 1: had to go like like that. I think there was
Speaker 1: a stretch where my public access shows the weirdos, and
Speaker 1: we all became very very tight, and I took all
Speaker 1: this Molly at Bonner and we all did. And a
Speaker 1: friend of mine said to me, he goes like, dude,
Speaker 1: that girl you're always around. Are you ever going to
Speaker 1: make a move on her or not? And I was like,
Speaker 1: we've been dating for eight years, and like we're so
Speaker 1: not affectionate with each other that no one even knows it.
Speaker 1: I was getting to a point to where like she
Speaker 1: had gone to a bunch of weddings and like, wouldn't
Speaker 1: it Like would just be like, hey, like, don't make
Speaker 1: plans with me. I'm going to a wedding this weekend.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you don't want to bring your boyfriend
Speaker 1: of eight years as a date? And like weird things
Speaker 1: like that. And then I kept trying to get her
Speaker 1: to move in with me and she didn't want to.
Speaker 1: And after eight years, I was like, at that point,
Speaker 1: I was thirty two years old dating someone for eight years,
Speaker 1: we weren't moving in together. And started having all these
Speaker 1: thoughts of like I want my parents to know their
Speaker 1: grandchildren and like all this stuff and and listen, she
Speaker 1: has her side of the story too, where I was
Speaker 1: not great either, and I get that, but I can
Speaker 1: just speak to my perspective and I have no ill
Speaker 1: will and if she hears this, or if mutual friends here,
Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to talk bad, I'm just being
Speaker 1: honest and and it's what happened very much from my
Speaker 1: perspective too. So when my friend said that, like, this
Speaker 1: is a guy who I was hanging out with multiple
Speaker 1: times every week, who didn't even know I had a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: and it just gave me this like real moment, and
Speaker 1: and Molly was involved, I was gonna say, I was
Speaker 1: like trip, I mean, I ate so much Molly, And
Speaker 1: then had this thing said to me where I was like,
Speaker 1: that's just totally true, and and just had this real
Speaker 1: moment where I was like that the person I am
Speaker 1: dating is an extremely good friend of mine and that's it,
Speaker 1: and that's okay, and you don't have to feel bad
Speaker 1: if that's what it is. So then we broke up
Speaker 1: and I came back to New York and things went nuts,
Speaker 1: and in the another real problem was that I was
Speaker 1: really embarrassed. So I told my shrink I did the Molly,
Speaker 1: but I didn't say I did way too much and
Speaker 1: it has really fucked me up, and I'm really losing
Speaker 1: it because I was just embarrassed and that was a
Speaker 1: mistake and she put me on adderall in the middle
Speaker 1: of this without knowing. I was in a bad spot,
Speaker 1: and I started abusing that I was eating. Um. I
Speaker 1: got up to the point where I was eating sixty
Speaker 1: milligrams and adderall every day. That's summer. And I was
Speaker 1: just like losing tons of weight and not sleeping and
Speaker 1: staying out all night. And just like it got crazy.
Speaker 1: I started having people in my life saying, like you
Speaker 1: look so good, like how are you this? And I
Speaker 1: was like literally, because I'm just eating guys. And then
Speaker 1: it was just stay up all night and you know
Speaker 1: that was I think, getting no sleep and like you up,
Speaker 1: And like I had started my career had gotten to
Speaker 1: a point where like I was known as this cult
Speaker 1: guy and like I think I did, like I was
Speaker 1: maybe buying into that a little bit, the popularity of that. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm always curious how because I think fame affects men differently,
Speaker 1: just because women, like there's just something special about like
Speaker 1: women throwing themselves out a straight guy. Straight women. It's
Speaker 1: funny because I'm actually really tight with Firestone and she's
Speaker 1: got so much buzz right now. You can't open up
Speaker 1: magazine to New York with that find an article about Joe.
Speaker 1: And it's funny because she and I have talked a
Speaker 1: bunch and I remember saying to her once she because
Speaker 1: she said, like, you had a ladies man stretch and
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, well, when you know, when you're comedian,
Speaker 1: people come up and they're really flirty. And she's like, no,
Speaker 1: when you're a female comedian. She was like, it's just
Speaker 1: boys get intimidated, stay away. And I was like, oh
Speaker 1: that sucks. You don't get that. We don't get any
Speaker 1: dick for being funny. Yeah, and put them on soh yeah,
Speaker 1: we got free feminist. Yeah. That was pretty cool though.
Speaker 1: And I have a huge box of condoms in my room.
Speaker 1: An it's more condoms than anyone ever needs. I might
Speaker 1: take it up on the lube. Yeah, we have a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff. Yeah, condoms, I'm good. Do you wear condoms.
Speaker 1: I'm a married man, you know. I've been with my
Speaker 1: with Stephen for five and a half years. We still
Speaker 1: use condoms because he just really doesn't want to get
Speaker 1: me pregnant and I'm on birth control. I get that, dude. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's because if I had to get an abortion, it
Speaker 1: would ruin me. Like if I got pregnant, I probably
Speaker 1: do that, but that's not an easy decision. Here's another
Speaker 1: this is probably bad to share about. Who cares? This
Speaker 1: is like now that that's what this podcast is? What
Speaker 1: other thing? When I was dating my X and I
Speaker 1: feel bad about this because I think it might be
Speaker 1: a little shallow, but we had been not using condoms
Speaker 1: for like six years and then and then we started again,
Speaker 1: and I don't I'm not saying like you made me
Speaker 1: use a condom, but I was like, this is just
Speaker 1: like such a reflection of the fact that we are
Speaker 1: our intimacy is moving in the wrong direction. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: used to all that? Is she the one I'm assuming
Speaker 1: that imp And I remember it was a conversation. It
Speaker 1: was one of these conversations that just felt like like
Speaker 1: I understand she had reason, like she didn't want to
Speaker 1: be on birth control pills, and I got that, and
Speaker 1: there's there were physical reasons for that. So she she
Speaker 1: was on birth control and went off of yeah, because
Speaker 1: I think it was having some affection and I got that,
Speaker 1: and I think I sound insensitive right now. I don't
Speaker 1: mean too because I understood all that, but just the
Speaker 1: way we were unable to have a clear conversation about it,
Speaker 1: that's indicative of something we're not. We are not my
Speaker 1: jis you anymore? I mean I wasn't that. Let's not
Speaker 1: put those I can't. This is I get it feel.
Speaker 1: I feel that we are unable to have this conversation
Speaker 1: about our own sexuality. I think a lot of good
Speaker 1: couples have that, and even couples, like we've heard from
Speaker 1: a lot of the move been together for a really
Speaker 1: long time and have not told each other. One email
Speaker 1: that I that I always reference is, uh, this girl
Speaker 1: it would be with her boyfriend for like six years
Speaker 1: and they listened to the podcast and then one day
Speaker 1: she like told she never told anybody that in her
Speaker 1: life that she was molested and then he was like,
Speaker 1: I was molested too, And I was like, and they
Speaker 1: didn't know that six years together and that affects her sexuality?
Speaker 1: I would imagine, um, So so yeah, that that's it's crazy.
Speaker 1: How uh it's I always think, like, what is the
Speaker 1: block between couples actually making the move to open up
Speaker 1: the conversation, which I've gotten so much better about. And
Speaker 1: I think in tw twelve, despite how I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I had a night in and my friend, my friend
Speaker 1: Bethany and my friends Bethany and Keith are both on
Speaker 1: my show, like really like family level friends came to
Speaker 1: my house one night that summer. They just were in
Speaker 1: the neighborhood and rang the doorbell and I happened at
Speaker 1: me home and I was I was flipping out so
Speaker 1: bad and having such a bad episode that Bethany has
Speaker 1: told me she when she left, she started crying because
Speaker 1: she was like we should have called an ambulance to
Speaker 1: come and get him, like it was unhealthy. What were
Speaker 1: I was just like like like freaking out and and
Speaker 1: and talking so fast, and they were like they came
Speaker 1: over and they were like, well, what's going on with you?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, here's what's going on with me. It's
Speaker 1: like just nothing's going right in my life and I
Speaker 1: just can't get anything straight. And we're saying I used
Speaker 1: to have this back porch where I lived in Green Point.
Speaker 1: We were sitting out there and they were like, things
Speaker 1: are going good for human, Like we've been friends three years.
Speaker 1: Things are better than they've ever been. And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: everything's fucked up. Nobody wants her show, nobody wants me,
Speaker 1: Like nobody isn't that? And I was just ranting and
Speaker 1: raving about and stuff, and and just also like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty smart guy and and pretty in touch
Speaker 1: with my emotions and also was able to just like
Speaker 1: convince them and convince myself of like, no, here's why
Speaker 1: my life sucks and here's what it's all fucked up.
Speaker 1: And and they left and she was just like whoa.
Speaker 1: And it was bad, but I will say I look
Speaker 1: back and I'm like, oh, it also was this very
Speaker 1: healthy time because I had been in a relationship for
Speaker 1: almost my entire twenties and I packed in so much
Speaker 1: living just as far as sam Pus getting out there
Speaker 1: year went nuts, I went nuts. And it wasn't I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say that. It was like half the health half
Speaker 1: the most dangerous summer I've ever had, in half the
Speaker 1: most healthy, open, getting in touch with, getting so much,
Speaker 1: getting past the Irish Catholic bullshit I grew up with,
Speaker 1: and just figuring out eat. But the first time I
Speaker 1: but fired, you want to eat? And here's what inspired
Speaker 1: me is I had. I was seeing this girl. She's
Speaker 1: super cool. She told me she always had this fantasy
Speaker 1: of a guy getting a hotel room and letting her
Speaker 1: just order whatever she wanted on room service and just
Speaker 1: like wasting a man's money. And I'm I like, I
Speaker 1: love a good submiss of experience, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's great. So I didn't tell her and I rented
Speaker 1: all tell room and I was like, go nuts. And
Speaker 1: it was one of the most fun nights I've ever
Speaker 1: That sounds awesome. It's so fun. And what inspired the
Speaker 1: butt eating? It was less inspiration eating. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: less inspiration and more that she just grabbed a handful
Speaker 1: of my hair and then my mouth was on her.
Speaker 1: But because that's where she put it, and I like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I enjoyed this. That sounds great, except for the night
Speaker 1: that I owe her to the most room service is
Speaker 1: not the night that I want my butt. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: want a brave woman. She also she was the hero.
Speaker 1: This girl is the coolest. She's so cool, she seems it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Room service guy came to the door and she was
Speaker 1: in the bathtub and I was like, let me shut
Speaker 1: the door, and she was like, don't shut the door,
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, the best that dude might
Speaker 1: see you naked and it's awesome. She ordered a whole
Speaker 1: rotisserie chicken and had like two bites and was like,
Speaker 1: I'm wasting your mind. I was like, oh, that's why
Speaker 1: she was able to get her So that was a
Speaker 1: little bit of kinkin it was a lot more about Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a lot more about wasting money and having
Speaker 1: power over me that. Yeah, I got distracted by the
Speaker 1: food part. I get it. Have you done anything like
Speaker 1: that since either were right there? Somebody else like, how
Speaker 1: kinky have you gotten? I've gotten It's fun discover. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I definitely have learned over it. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty mild manner. I have a very I've
Speaker 1: realized my personality, like I'm pretty mild mannered guide day
Speaker 1: to day. But then I also professionally, have you know,
Speaker 1: based on the fact that I think I'm just pretty
Speaker 1: aggressive about making my own career, Like I'm the host
Speaker 1: of my own talk show, and I have been very
Speaker 1: aggressive about making things happen for myself. So I think
Speaker 1: because I'm often in like a little bit of maybe
Speaker 1: an alpha position day to day because I have had
Speaker 1: to fight to make my own thing. I think I've
Speaker 1: learned that it's made me really enjoy the submissive side
Speaker 1: when I can be slapped around or something. It It's
Speaker 1: interesting how those kings kind of usually relate to like
Speaker 1: something opposite of what you actually experience in your everyday life.
Speaker 1: I think that I have a cuckolding fetish because I
Speaker 1: think actually it might be because I've gotten cheated on.
Speaker 1: So I want to control it now and see my
Speaker 1: boyfriend somebody in front of me. And I do like
Speaker 1: it to this I heard, and I really do like
Speaker 1: it because part of me and I'm because I've heard
Speaker 1: you talk about this. But am I allowed to ask?
Speaker 1: Is this somebody you've acted on it? Yeah? Twice? Yeah.
Speaker 1: And at first I was like, am I just like
Speaker 1: saying this to be a good girlfriend because he dated
Speaker 1: a porn start before me, and I wanted to like
Speaker 1: try and want up, But that's pointless and genuine enjoyment,
Speaker 1: genuine enjoyment. I get it though. I get that that
Speaker 1: you want to see you want to see this person you.
Speaker 1: I want to see what he looks like having yes,
Speaker 1: and I want to see seeing what he looks like
Speaker 1: having sex from like a point of view, that's not
Speaker 1: having sex with him is so hot. That's cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's pretty fun. Like it. I've gotten punched in the
Speaker 1: face during sex and I was big up to that. Really,
Speaker 1: you know, it was coming Wow, that's that's were you
Speaker 1: with that? Whoever punched in the face with that person
Speaker 1: for a while? Or um? Was that the first time
Speaker 1: he sat with them? That was the first time I
Speaker 1: slept at them, Hank Moody over here. That happens in Californication. Uh, sorry,
Speaker 1: you're like true actually, And my favorite part was it's
Speaker 1: the youngest daughter from the nanny that punches them in
Speaker 1: the face. And I was like, funecasting, How kinky did
Speaker 1: you get in the summer of two thousand twelve? Pretty
Speaker 1: the punch in the face is fun? Punched in the face,
Speaker 1: the hotel room thing, those were the same summer. Um,
Speaker 1: what else happened that summer? I had? I had, I think,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to I don't ever want to
Speaker 1: put my wife in a position where she has to
Speaker 1: deal with me being too open. But what else, Let's see,
Speaker 1: I had, I went on I had multiple I didn't
Speaker 1: not an orgy. I had an experience where it was.
Speaker 1: It was very funny. I have this I have this
Speaker 1: um a girl asked me out on Facebook, and then
Speaker 1: a friend of mine I have another girl also asked
Speaker 1: me out. And I'm only free on the same day
Speaker 1: that I already a date, and my instinct was like,
Speaker 1: don't do that. But I have this friend named Mike
Speaker 1: D from Jersey who's exactly what you think. A guy
Speaker 1: named Mike D from Jersey, and he's kind of the
Speaker 1: guy like the first time I've really the first time
Speaker 1: I've ever done any drug, it was with him. We
Speaker 1: went to high school and college together and so a
Speaker 1: few years older than me, and he was just like
Speaker 1: really kind of like a very good mentor in my
Speaker 1: life because he was always like he was like, let's
Speaker 1: try fucked up ship and just be together and keep
Speaker 1: it safe. He's like, I've done fresh Everyone needs a
Speaker 1: little Mike D. Yeah. The first time I smoked pot,
Speaker 1: I was a freshman in college and he called me
Speaker 1: up and he was like, dude, like, you're gonna smoke
Speaker 1: pot at some point, come do it with me. I'll
Speaker 1: teach you how Like he's that friend in my life.
Speaker 1: And I called him and I was like, should I
Speaker 1: go on two dates in one day, and he was Mike.
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel really bad and question it
Speaker 1: was big time, Like Mike, he's the guy you go
Speaker 1: to when you want a certain answer. You're gonna give
Speaker 1: me the answer that I want want to hear. But
Speaker 1: he said, He's like, look, he's like you're a good
Speaker 1: guy and nothing's gonna change that. And you're kind of
Speaker 1: doing like a scumbag move, but also like you want
Speaker 1: this experience, like you want to regret doing this, not
Speaker 1: regret not doing it table. But then in a very
Speaker 1: sort of I mean, it became like it almost became
Speaker 1: like a fucking sketch comedy thing wound. I wound up
Speaker 1: going on four dates in twenty four hours, by dates
Speaker 1: in four hours with four different for different people. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: and did you have to do any like like that's
Speaker 1: scene of missed out fire where he goes back and
Speaker 1: forth like changing costume. Yeah, no, back and forth, but
Speaker 1: certainly some sprinting, certainly some like Okay, this was really great.
Speaker 1: I hope we can rushing and then literally like heling
Speaker 1: a cab with this hand while you here with the
Speaker 1: But it was weird because I mean, growing up, like
Speaker 1: growing up you can. I mean, growing up who I
Speaker 1: was being who I am today, I was never a
Speaker 1: very sexual being. So to kind of get to New
Speaker 1: York and realize that there was a market for guys
Speaker 1: like me as long as I could be confident and stuff,
Speaker 1: I took it. I went overboard with it. Um. But
Speaker 1: I well that one year, but I don't think that
Speaker 1: being in a relationship for that long, there was some
Speaker 1: There was this need to like let your freak flag
Speaker 1: fly on that. Yeah, And it was good. It was
Speaker 1: like nice to realize, like, oh, guys like me, like
Speaker 1: our teenage years are gonna be horrible, our twenties are
Speaker 1: going to be pretty bad. But once you get to
Speaker 1: your thirties, guys like they have a good time, you
Speaker 1: can have a good time. Yeah, men in their thirties
Speaker 1: are like looked upon as like they know what they want,
Speaker 1: their sexy, their career oriented. And I got to I
Speaker 1: also went to Brooklyn like I wanted. I want up
Speaker 1: going to the place at the time where people like
Speaker 1: me were going to do well. Yeah, and I did
Speaker 1: all right. I was I was a ladies man for
Speaker 1: a bit, which nobody expected, at least of all myself.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you had that experience. I feel
Speaker 1: like everyone needs that that year or that some for
Speaker 1: people it's a ten year stretch, but like it kind
Speaker 1: of makes you feel alive in a way that's specific
Speaker 1: to chasing Posty or chasing Dick. Like it it's it
Speaker 1: feels almost animalistic, but it's so it's an adrenaline that's
Speaker 1: like no other. It's similar to performing for sure, but
Speaker 1: you can like worrying because he kind of text me back,
Speaker 1: or am I going to go over his house tonight?
Speaker 1: I don't know. That was always so much fun for me.
Speaker 1: I liked it, I will say I really one of
Speaker 1: the things I'm I feel very lucky about is like
Speaker 1: I am the type of person who I can't drink,
Speaker 1: and when I do, Molly, I do way too much.
Speaker 1: So I did realize and I had some friends point
Speaker 1: out to me, Hey, like this is this can be
Speaker 1: just as much of an addictive theing. So I had
Speaker 1: to really be conscious of that because my personality type.
Speaker 1: Because I think one thing I was really good about
Speaker 1: was I don't think I ever played games, and I
Speaker 1: don't think I was ever deceptive or I think people
Speaker 1: generally knew what they were getting into when that's when
Speaker 1: they shacked up with me. By and large, that the
Speaker 1: ladies don't know what they were getting into. I feel,
Speaker 1: I know, but I think there were some people who
Speaker 1: like the butt eating girl. She straight up was like
Speaker 1: there was I remember. I remember when I started dating
Speaker 1: someone and I said to her him actually seeing someone now,
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh, cool, that's good. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's good. Like I thought maybe that would like you'd
Speaker 1: feel burned because we've been like hooking up and she's like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to date you. You're fucked. How did
Speaker 1: you feel when she said that? Were you like happy,
Speaker 1: relieved or like, well, I actually felt like very How
Speaker 1: would I say it? I felt very I was very impressed.
Speaker 1: I was very impressed by her um because I think
Speaker 1: there's maybe a little bit of a standard in our
Speaker 1: society where it's like like, god, you know, guys traditionally
Speaker 1: going back to that like fifties paradigm, like yeah, guys
Speaker 1: are going to be a little bit more scumbags and
Speaker 1: girls are going to get a little bit more burned
Speaker 1: by it. But she was like, no, I'm not getting burned.
Speaker 1: Your right, Well, that's the thing that you're you're lunatic
Speaker 1: right now, I would never throw my hat in the
Speaker 1: ring with beyond just the fact that it's fun that
Speaker 1: you let me spend your money and we fool around
Speaker 1: and we have good chemistry. Like that was cool, cool
Speaker 1: to see. And I feel like people don't, like a
Speaker 1: lot of guys think that you're going to get attached,
Speaker 1: not even in that do she of a way, but
Speaker 1: like hey, or just assume that the woman is going
Speaker 1: to be upset when you end something. But a lot
Speaker 1: of women I know, and I've done it too, like
Speaker 1: we're just we are getting horny too and want buddies.
Speaker 1: And I will also say, having dated someone for the
Speaker 1: majority of my twenties, that's the thing I did not
Speaker 1: learn about New York City until New York myself, Like
Speaker 1: I never really date. I moved to New York when
Speaker 1: I was moved to a story when I was twenty
Speaker 1: four years old and started dating a girl that I
Speaker 1: dated pretty much the whole time until I was thirty two.
Speaker 1: So I didn't have that New York. I never did,
Speaker 1: like the stay out at Union Pool until four in
Speaker 1: the morning and just see who's there. You know what
Speaker 1: I didn't back in the Refifi days where I had
Speaker 1: a roommate during the refiee days. He was like, dude,
Speaker 1: you just hang out at Refifi long enough and then
Speaker 1: it becomes a hook up party. It was like I
Speaker 1: never had that, So I didn't learn about that until
Speaker 1: I met um some of these ladies in my in
Speaker 1: my early third do you ever question like people who
Speaker 1: are interested in you? I know it's common among a
Speaker 1: lot of my male, especially comedian friends, that they almost
Speaker 1: seemed to think less of women who were once they
Speaker 1: are attracted to them reciprocally. I never thought less of
Speaker 1: a woman I was. I was very very confused. I
Speaker 1: was genuinely that that the first year I was single,
Speaker 1: I was extremely surprised and confused that people were attracted
Speaker 1: to me because I've always had very very low self
Speaker 1: esteem and my twenties. When I when I was single,
Speaker 1: it was a profound loneliness being someone who has depression
Speaker 1: and also is a guy who looks like this who
Speaker 1: grew up in North Jersey, Like I am not a
Speaker 1: commodity in northern New Jersey in a town called west Arge.
Speaker 1: I'm from Union. Oh yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I went
Speaker 1: to Rutgers and everything like my parents. Yeah, but you
Speaker 1: know at Rutgers, nobody's nobody's looking at this guy at
Speaker 1: Rutgers University. You know, you're way to pay off for
Speaker 1: Rutgers University, and you're not wearing sweatpants. It looks like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was not. I was not highly sought after. So
Speaker 1: being being that guy and and having depression issues it was.
Speaker 1: I can only say it was a an isolating and
Speaker 1: terrifying feeling of loneliness that I felt for a lot
Speaker 1: of my time when I was single. Um So to
Speaker 1: be thirty and break up with my ex for a
Speaker 1: year and then realize, oh, actually, like there's a lot
Speaker 1: of girls who are making eyes at me and I
Speaker 1: just never knew it, and you know, you go. I
Speaker 1: also was like, I don't know, I've never known I
Speaker 1: like my stick my I don't really know where I
Speaker 1: stand in the New York comedy world because I feel
Speaker 1: like everybody else has friends. I don't really feel like
Speaker 1: I have friends. Really. I hear about like stand ups
Speaker 1: going out to brunch with each other and stuff, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, people go to brunch? People, Yeah, are you
Speaker 1: more of a stand up? Burn improv? That's my That's
Speaker 1: the thing I think because you straddle the king of UCB.
Speaker 1: Like when I was when I even when I was
Speaker 1: going to ask at nine years ago, we were like, yeah, there.
Speaker 1: I had the biggest crush on Neil Casey, like before
Speaker 1: he was on TV. Yeah, because he's the funniest person
Speaker 1: I've ever seen my whole life. And he didn't like
Speaker 1: me back, but did you go for it? I told
Speaker 1: Bobby moynahan to tell him that I liked him, and
Speaker 1: then he came back and he was like I told him,
Speaker 1: and I was like, cool, what do you say? He's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh man, I think I creeped him out.
Speaker 1: What a hilarious I feel like I creeped him out.
Speaker 1: I also like that you're you're like going to Bobby
Speaker 1: moynahan to get it Neil Casey. Usually I feel like
Speaker 1: that problem back then worked in the opposite more often. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I haven't done improv in like four years, okay,
Speaker 1: and now I just do stand up. But I think
Speaker 1: all the stand ups are wary of me because I'm
Speaker 1: a uc B guy. I'm not something I hear. But
Speaker 1: like I also in my head, I think that maybe
Speaker 1: is more invented than truth, like I think I've earned respect. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're a very well respected comedian among the stand up
Speaker 1: community for sure. Do you do club spots? Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: I do clubs all the time. When yeah, we did
Speaker 1: the Stand together, not one of the weirdest nights I've
Speaker 1: ever had leaned on you and we didn't. We we've
Speaker 1: met a few times, but I lean on you in
Speaker 1: that just randomly. Well, it was also like, but I
Speaker 1: will also say it's because I listened to this show.
Speaker 1: I listened to this show and you were I would
Speaker 1: argue at the stand because the Stand is like a
Speaker 1: club club. Yeah, yeah, it's a great club. I have
Speaker 1: a good time there. They've been super cool to me,
Speaker 1: like as it's sort of an alta guy, they've put
Speaker 1: me up a lot and it's been it's it's been
Speaker 1: really cool. But I also was like you were there,
Speaker 1: and I was like, Oh, you're like the one person
Speaker 1: who I can lean into on this because you're not
Speaker 1: really going to talk to like you know, Dan Solder
Speaker 1: or Tim Dillon about cool kids. But no, they're just
Speaker 1: gonna make fun of me. Where I was like, oh damn, yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that man. Special people he is. When he
Speaker 1: told us. He had a podcast. I was like, thank you,
Speaker 1: listen every episode so funny, it's the most bizarre. Did
Speaker 1: you listen to the new one with the mother of
Speaker 1: the kid kidnapped? No? He interviews the mother of a
Speaker 1: kid who got kidnapped him in what world is it
Speaker 1: okay for you to do this? No? He just gets
Speaker 1: it over his fucking head. I was just saying, the
Speaker 1: kids still kid, he's the kids still. He's one of
Speaker 1: the first kids who was ever on the side of
Speaker 1: a milk carton and they think he got abducted by
Speaker 1: a sex predator. Ring and Tim interviewed that the night
Speaker 1: at the stand, I'm talking that it was so weird.
Speaker 1: I start going and there's this girl in the front row,
Speaker 1: and I paused because I realized I dated this girl
Speaker 1: and and kind of burned her, like like like dated
Speaker 1: her for two or three months and just was not
Speaker 1: It was in that summer and and I what I
Speaker 1: realized was she was very much not an artist. She
Speaker 1: had a job in a real industry. And I realized, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm dating her because I kind of want to have
Speaker 1: a more stable life, and she's dating me because she
Speaker 1: wants to like stay out and party and stay up
Speaker 1: late like comedians do, and we're just kind of like
Speaker 1: buying into each other's lifestyles. We broke up. She didn't
Speaker 1: like it. She it was one of these things where
Speaker 1: she was like, no, you can't break up with me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, whoa. And then I had a
Speaker 1: bad night in twelve where actually really lost it and
Speaker 1: almost jumped off a fucking cliff in New Jersey and
Speaker 1: called her from the cliff and was like, I can't
Speaker 1: do I'm losing my mind. You have to let me go.
Speaker 1: And this was this girl in the front row and
Speaker 1: I haven't seen her and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, and I owe you an apology. And
Speaker 1: she went back and forth with me for like ten minutes,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't get over it. She just had a
Speaker 1: conversation while you're on stage. Yeah, but I mean the
Speaker 1: whole especially like I've had situation, you know, in all
Speaker 1: rooms where stuff gets experimental. I've had situations where the
Speaker 1: crowd gets weird. I've never been in a club where
Speaker 1: the whole crowd in a club kind of just got
Speaker 1: quiet and was just like with rapid attention. She was like,
Speaker 1: what how the fund does this end, you know, and
Speaker 1: it was intense and weird and my head was spinning.
Speaker 1: Aaron Berg was hosting, which was just so of course,
Speaker 1: he gets up right afterwards and was like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: wasn't sucking. Get does he have a big dick? And
Speaker 1: it was like, oh God, leave her alone please? And
Speaker 1: then of course, and I immediately you remember, I ran
Speaker 1: over to you and I was like, what the fund
Speaker 1: is going on? Straight to you? And then the girl
Speaker 1: I waited at the hall show because I was like,
Speaker 1: I have to talk to you. Yeah, you kept saying through.
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, got it. I thought. I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to run away so bad, but I have
Speaker 1: to stay, and you were. You were like, no, you
Speaker 1: have to stay. It would not be cool if you were.
Speaker 1: And then she we the crowd files out. She walks
Speaker 1: past me, and then you know, the standard up there,
Speaker 1: the lights are in your face. She walks by and
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's not her. It's a girl who looks
Speaker 1: like her. What wasn't her? But she was talking to
Speaker 1: me was along you witnessed the whole girl. I was like,
Speaker 1: why did you? I was like, why did you do that?
Speaker 1: And she's like I thought that was your bit, and
Speaker 1: I was supposed to go with it. I was like,
Speaker 1: I mean, you're all too, but not that. I can't
Speaker 1: you imagine if my act was going to a club
Speaker 1: and just praise some woman will agree in the moment
Speaker 1: that she dated it was so weird. That's an example
Speaker 1: of the audience quote trying to help. She had a
Speaker 1: good heart people experience. And then she started Facebook messaging me.
Speaker 1: She did, and I very and I very quickly had
Speaker 1: to go, hey, I'm married, but that that's me. That
Speaker 1: is me that but that gives you an exact That's
Speaker 1: what it was like when I was single, because you
Speaker 1: guys know, I was the fucking weirdo comedian for a
Speaker 1: long time in New York. I was like leading the
Speaker 1: charge on me. You're the cool ship and like making
Speaker 1: everybody at your shows like run to another venue and
Speaker 1: take a bus. You're the comedian everyone like kinda wants
Speaker 1: to be. Yeah, that looks a lot more fun than
Speaker 1: he's like talking about my relationship, which I do a
Speaker 1: lot of that too, but that's fun. That was my
Speaker 1: exact ship as I do some weirdo stuff and like
Speaker 1: there would be some crowd work. And then in very
Speaker 1: I learned this is scummy. This is this guy makes me.
Speaker 1: I learned like if there was a cute girl and
Speaker 1: I could see her kind of smiling at me from
Speaker 1: the crowd, it was like, oh, do crowd work with
Speaker 1: that girl? And then she'll Facebook message me and then
Speaker 1: I can ask her, Wow, look at you. I got that. Okay,
Speaker 1: this would happen. Well, I be kind of remember I did,
Speaker 1: I did. I didn't thank you when we went to
Speaker 1: I went to uc B. I think one of the
Speaker 1: people that I know you might have dated. Um, do
Speaker 1: you want to whisper who it was? Oh? No, did
Speaker 1: you have sex her? I just know. I remember this
Speaker 1: was years ago, and I was so jealous because like,
Speaker 1: you were like the hottie honestly have you from people?
Speaker 1: And I wasn't. Wasn't it? This is just so ironic
Speaker 1: because you want to understand this, This whole podcast is
Speaker 1: based on me getting don't by an improv nerd come on,
Speaker 1: we all know her, but you were like and then
Speaker 1: my friend Jeff was like, oh yeah, so and so
Speaker 1: was like hooking up with gathering. We have to really
Speaker 1: we have to text. Great. I'm happy for her. We
Speaker 1: have to talk because her very good friend picked me
Speaker 1: up on Facebook, and we wound up dating for a
Speaker 1: while and it goes really love you on Facebook, crazy fast.
Speaker 1: That got crazy, and then we broke up and it
Speaker 1: got dark. It was it was the messiest breakup I've
Speaker 1: ever had, and and and and it seems like you've
Speaker 1: had a few. But I'm doing a lot better now
Speaker 1: and this girl I'm referencing is doing a lot better now,
Speaker 1: and we're friends now. But our mess up got very well,
Speaker 1: someone likes the other person more. And it was like
Speaker 1: we were both I think we would both say, airplane
Speaker 1: flying by my house, Well, all this U N ship,
Speaker 1: there's a crazy amount of like police and helicopters out right, yeah,
Speaker 1: crazy Barack obomb Yeah. But me and this girl dad
Speaker 1: and I think I was in an extremely crazy place.
Speaker 1: I was taking this bizarre medication called New Vigil, which
Speaker 1: i've later someone someone told me it's the medication that
Speaker 1: that movie Limitless was inspired by. I was saying it
Speaker 1: was insane medication and I never had to sleep and
Speaker 1: I was on the sitcom. I was taking it because
Speaker 1: I was on sitcom and I was just never able
Speaker 1: to sleep, and I was just lead on because of
Speaker 1: your schedule, because you're no, We're filming two episodes a week,
Speaker 1: and it was just insane. That about you go to
Speaker 1: the doctor and listen to sleep doc. This this drug
Speaker 1: was developed to help fight um jet lag, to help
Speaker 1: your sleep schedule adjust because you can take it and
Speaker 1: then not sleep until it's time to go to sleep
Speaker 1: and readjust you. But I swear to God, I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1: Our scripts would no joke. Our scripts would be thirty
Speaker 1: pages long, and I could memorize an entire thirty page
Speaker 1: script in less than twenty minutes. What it was insane.
Speaker 1: But I was like crazy and started dating this girl.
Speaker 1: And I think she would say she was in a
Speaker 1: very crazy place at the time, and we would get wed.
Speaker 1: It was we would have this these crazy like let's
Speaker 1: stay up for three nights and just have crazy sex.
Speaker 1: And yeah, sometimes they did, didn't adderall holy sh it
Speaker 1: affected your dick. I I mean I either couldn't get
Speaker 1: a boner or could not come. There's no middle ground,
Speaker 1: no middle It was so bad. It was either like
Speaker 1: either I can't go or this will never end, which
Speaker 1: that both suck. I feel like I've learned that it's
Speaker 1: worse for it to never end. Yeah, it's just so bad.
Speaker 1: I just have no erection than a never end my job.
Speaker 1: I would much rather say like, hey, I gotta tap out.
Speaker 1: I can't get into it than just be like trying
Speaker 1: to go to bed with a mower or just like
Speaker 1: sweating on some poor girl who finished twenty five minutes ago,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, oh god, would you would you
Speaker 1: have make attempts to finish and then there would just
Speaker 1: be that like, dude, get close for like a long
Speaker 1: twenty minute beat, You're like, can you end it? Or yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean you have girls ask yes, because I sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, dude, yeah I got shipped. Dude,
Speaker 1: you just finish yourself off that said conversation. When girls
Speaker 1: like Jesus want to you can just use your hand
Speaker 1: and I won't be We'll actually be delighted. Oh I've
Speaker 1: had like you know, when someone looks you in the
Speaker 1: eye and it's like we have to stop. I'm going
Speaker 1: to get a U T I you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I know that feelings so well. I don't even feel
Speaker 1: good about that. I'd like to think I'm a good guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta say people are always like talking about like
Speaker 1: a lot of songs about minute men. I'd much rather
Speaker 1: have a minute man than one who's just like nitted
Speaker 1: lucking you. I'm til you have to go way. Rather,
Speaker 1: it's actually thrilling because I'm envious of the minute men.
Speaker 1: Envious well on the other side of the fence. Now
Speaker 1: it's always want we can't have. I remember that girl
Speaker 1: you're a reference. So years after this messy breakup we
Speaker 1: had settled everything cool. Now the girl you reference left
Speaker 1: to comment on my Facebook wall, and the girl who
Speaker 1: I dated called me and was like, did you fuck her?
Speaker 1: I always knew you wanted to fuck her and she
Speaker 1: always wanted to fuck you. And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'd tell you. At this point, we haven't doing five years.
Speaker 1: Five years, I aw. But let's also say, if I
Speaker 1: can pat myself on the back, the girl you're referencing, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a girl who's out of my league. I guess.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's beautiful. But you were the funk you
Speaker 1: are your reputation. I didn't know that. This is how
Speaker 1: I always viewed you. You were like the cool fucking
Speaker 1: dude like the comedy you know, like the SNL, like
Speaker 1: their rock stars. That was like the whole ascat cast
Speaker 1: to me was that like Shannon, you Neel, like Bobby.
Speaker 1: I was just so in all you guys were the
Speaker 1: coolest people I've ever seen in my life. I felt
Speaker 1: like the dorkyest improv in that world. I mean, don't
Speaker 1: go outside thinking like that, but I don't go to like, yeah,
Speaker 1: don't be walking down the street. And that's the other thing.
Speaker 1: All these experiences I'm having, not one of these crazy
Speaker 1: nights happened with someone who hadn't seen me do comedy. Well,
Speaker 1: does that make you feel weird? Tell me? Made me
Speaker 1: feel bad? I knew, but I was. I was smart
Speaker 1: enough to know. I was like, you know what I
Speaker 1: had to get. I had to get to a point
Speaker 1: where because my self esteem would mess with me and
Speaker 1: I'd be like, this isn't real. You don't really like me.
Speaker 1: And then you know what, some a very kind girl
Speaker 1: said to me, Well that's part of who you are. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to you largely because of that, but you
Speaker 1: are part of you. You are that person and you
Speaker 1: worked hard to get there, and not everybody can get
Speaker 1: up on stage and do what you do. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm attracted to you because I've seen you on stage
Speaker 1: it's a bad and that that was a very cool
Speaker 1: thing to hear once your thoughts and something mean. So
Speaker 1: many people are attracted to people just because of their esthetic,
Speaker 1: but at least like you worked and created something you
Speaker 1: weren't just like born with this face. It's respectable. It's
Speaker 1: something that I learned. I had to stop self defeating
Speaker 1: and convincing myself, like, well, you don't know the real
Speaker 1: me who's not on stage, And it's like, oh no,
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm getting a sense of it, and
Speaker 1: it's a fucking mess. And that's why we're not going
Speaker 1: to actually date. We're just gonna go on two dates
Speaker 1: and it's gonna We're gonna date for a month and
Speaker 1: it'll be fun because I taste I am sensing how
Speaker 1: fucked up and crazy you can be. But also own it.
Speaker 1: If you worked hard, you get on stage. Not everybody
Speaker 1: gets to do that. Own it. Yeah, I'm attracted to it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some people just sucked up and not what you see
Speaker 1: when somebody does, like make excuses for like why that's
Speaker 1: a bad thing. But it's a great thing and it
Speaker 1: makes a lot of sense. But no, but I remember
Speaker 1: when you were like that guy and then when you
Speaker 1: met your wife. I remember, I don't because I was
Speaker 1: always friends with you on Facebook and all the people
Speaker 1: like Shannon. I'm such a big fan of hers and
Speaker 1: my favorite. She's so cool. Um I was I did.
Speaker 1: I was a monologist once for ASCA. I cried when
Speaker 1: they asked me because I had gone there nine years
Speaker 1: ago with this like these are like the people's still Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was there when I did it. I was like,
Speaker 1: and Anthony was there. Um, but I remember when you
Speaker 1: met your wife, and I kind of like followed your
Speaker 1: love story and I was like, your guys are so cool.
Speaker 1: She sings in a fan and she's sucking red and
Speaker 1: like you guys, And I don't know anything about you guys,
Speaker 1: but I think you're one of the cutest couples I've
Speaker 1: ever seen. And I've only seen you like on Facebook
Speaker 1: or talk about it in interviews. And I was a
Speaker 1: fan of her band for years. I had a crush
Speaker 1: on her ten years why year, and she also when
Speaker 1: I was in that summer twelve, I made a move
Speaker 1: on her. I had a bunch of friends, my friends
Speaker 1: Bethany and Keith and a bunch of us. We'd all
Speaker 1: go out dancing and Williamsburg and just stay up all night.
Speaker 1: It was so fun, and she Halle my wife, would
Speaker 1: always be there and I made a move on her
Speaker 1: one night. She we lived close to each other and
Speaker 1: we walked home in the same direction, and it was
Speaker 1: kind of the situation where all these people who would
Speaker 1: go out we were all single, and then everybody started
Speaker 1: dating pairing up, and she and I, my wife and
Speaker 1: I were the last two left. So we'd always wind
Speaker 1: up like dancing on each other, and it was just
Speaker 1: clear that there was that vibe. And there was one
Speaker 1: night where like I walked her home and then usually
Speaker 1: I'd go left and she'd go right, and I was like,
Speaker 1: do you just want me to walk you home? It's
Speaker 1: like pretty late at night, and she was like no,
Speaker 1: and I was like, it's like, well, it's stung bad
Speaker 1: because I knew. I was like, I'm really enjoying this,
Speaker 1: Like I don't have my ship together, I'm popping lots
Speaker 1: of adderall and staying up all night craziness phase. But
Speaker 1: now here's this girl who I have so much respect for,
Speaker 1: who's so fucking talented, so beautiful, who I know I
Speaker 1: have a ants with, but who knows me well enough
Speaker 1: to know, don't off with this guy. He's fucked up.
Speaker 1: So I had a friend at the time. I still
Speaker 1: he's a very very good friend of mine, but at
Speaker 1: the time he's a filmmaker. He had a film and
Speaker 1: a film festival in Rio de Janeiro, and he sensed
Speaker 1: he and I were like hanging out and having a
Speaker 1: lot of fun that summer, and he's a partier. And
Speaker 1: then he was like, dude, you're actually fucked up. He's like,
Speaker 1: you need to let's get you out of New York,
Speaker 1: Like you need to get out of here. And he
Speaker 1: brought me to Rio he had a film I just
Speaker 1: bummed around with him for four or five days while
Speaker 1: he like did all this film stuff and we were
Speaker 1: going to like, you know, premiere parties and stuff. Is cool. Well,
Speaker 1: what really got me out of the pattern was I
Speaker 1: ate these one night late. I ate these fucking weird
Speaker 1: I still don't know what they were. The only place
Speaker 1: I could find that was open was selling these weird
Speaker 1: nuggets at a stand on the beach and fried root
Speaker 1: vegetables of some sort, and I got food poisoning so bad,
Speaker 1: just diarrhea for two days. It was both classical and
Speaker 1: spiritual and I wound up the roof our hotel. There
Speaker 1: was a pool on the roof and no one was
Speaker 1: ever at it because you're in Brazil, you'll go to
Speaker 1: the beach, not the pool. And there was a bathroom
Speaker 1: up there. And I just sat on the roof of
Speaker 1: this hotel in Brazil for two days and it was
Speaker 1: just just shitting and like yourself, had this moment where
Speaker 1: I was like, I think I need to get I
Speaker 1: think I need to get my life together because I
Speaker 1: really want to date Halle. But it like really forced
Speaker 1: me to cinematic if you don't put that in a
Speaker 1: movie one day at you like literally right now actually
Speaker 1: in my image. But had a real moment of reckoning.
Speaker 1: And also I wrote this thing because I wrote a book.
Speaker 1: I write essays sometimes. I wrote this thing that I've
Speaker 1: only let two people read it, and it's definitely the
Speaker 1: best thing I've ever written. And I can never put
Speaker 1: it out into the world because it's brutal because it's me.
Speaker 1: It's basically me saying I'm fucking up on purpose because
Speaker 1: I feel so bad about breaking up with my girlfriend
Speaker 1: and I'm sucking up to punish myself and I'm and
Speaker 1: it's not good and here and now there's this woman
Speaker 1: that I do not have a right to date because
Speaker 1: I've let my life get to a point where I'm
Speaker 1: not not beating up on myself, not being melodramatic. I'm
Speaker 1: just not living in a way where I can ask
Speaker 1: this person out on a date because she's better than me.
Speaker 1: I've made myself a person who she is better than me,
Speaker 1: and I need I need to get it together. And
Speaker 1: it's about thirty pages long. I wrote it on the
Speaker 1: plane on the way home from Brazil, and my friend
Speaker 1: Antonio read it, and one other person read it, and
Speaker 1: they were both like, this is so beautiful and intense
Speaker 1: and you should never, ever, ever, ever let the world
Speaker 1: see it. I bet you're gonna get an offer on
Speaker 1: You're gonna have exclusive that. But that's I mean, I
Speaker 1: I think I maybe not to the extreme that you're
Speaker 1: that you're referencing, but I've felt my I've witnessed myself
Speaker 1: in moments where I'm sucking it up on purpose, not
Speaker 1: necessarily with romance, and I'm like, what am I doing?
Speaker 1: And I don't know. I'm like, do I want it
Speaker 1: to be funked up so I can fix it? Do what? What?
Speaker 1: Am I trying to do? Is when everything isn't funked up?
Speaker 1: Is that too boring for me? Do I need more excitement?
Speaker 1: Like I don't don't know, I've been there. Wow, I
Speaker 1: really want to read that ship. I can't do it.
Speaker 1: How long have you been with your wife? We just
Speaker 1: August thirty was our two year wedding anniversary, and then
Speaker 1: we only dated. I got back from Brazil and that
Speaker 1: was I think late it was like mid September. And
Speaker 1: then how how did you read kindle that? How did
Speaker 1: you prove to her that you were the type of
Speaker 1: person who deserves her affection. We were hanging out a
Speaker 1: few more times, and I think she saw that I
Speaker 1: had like calm down. And then we went out dancing
Speaker 1: and uh we made out on the dance floor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then the rest of history Union Pool and then
Speaker 1: my friend I have a friend of musician named Lura Stevenson,
Speaker 1: and she heard that story and she said, I think
Speaker 1: you're the only two people who have ever made out
Speaker 1: at Union Pool who spoke to each other got married. True.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we made out, just made out. And she
Speaker 1: claims I made the move, but I maintained that she
Speaker 1: made the move. But Yeah, I just came back and
Speaker 1: we hung out a few times. And I think because
Speaker 1: she's also on my show, Halley's on my she does
Speaker 1: all the music. She was on your show before you
Speaker 1: guys started dating for years, for years. She's so cool.
Speaker 1: She's the coolest, right, you guys are both cool and
Speaker 1: magical people. She's the coolest. She's like like everyone who
Speaker 1: knows her says like she looks like the coolest, coolest
Speaker 1: person anyone knows. She's a professional aerialist. She's in a
Speaker 1: punk rock band to punk rock bands, and that's so funny.
Speaker 1: It's all right, um, well, thank you so much for talking.
Speaker 1: You have a show coming up, yeah off Broadway. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and we'rer suicide. Yeah, tell us about what is that about?
Speaker 1: It's mostly yeah, that's one of the stories and yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's it's just a lot about the mental
Speaker 1: health stuff. And I think I've become known for talking
Speaker 1: about that stuff. And I think it's just my effort
Speaker 1: to kind of go in as deep as I can
Speaker 1: and put it all on able and maybe I've always
Speaker 1: kind of I think I've known as like a depression guy,
Speaker 1: and that's okay. I'd also like to maybe move on.
Speaker 1: So I think this is me who are this is like,
Speaker 1: you're Jerry Seinfeld. I'm telling you for the last time. Well, yes,
Speaker 1: this is this is me attaining Si Seinfeld comparison. You know,
Speaker 1: you think you have to think higher of yourself. I
Speaker 1: think you're there. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, it's it's just
Speaker 1: me going all in on that. And and my goal
Speaker 1: is to try to like make a show that's the
Speaker 1: funniest thing I've ever done that happens to be about
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff that people don't generally love talking
Speaker 1: I was comedy, I'm assuming in it. Yeah. I've actually
Speaker 1: worked harder on the jokes in it than I've ever
Speaker 1: worked on any material before, because in my head, I'm like,
Speaker 1: if I can just make it really fucking funny, undeniable,
Speaker 1: then people have to see it on the merits of that.
Speaker 1: And then even if there's somebody who's like, I think
Speaker 1: medications are bullshit or you shouldn't be talking about depression,
Speaker 1: it's keep that behind closed doors. Like if it's a
Speaker 1: really fucking funny show, you can't deny that. That's the
Speaker 1: power of is Yeah. Yeah, And also I think joking
Speaker 1: and to me, laughing at a joke that's about something
Speaker 1: really dark is the best feeling in the world. It
Speaker 1: feels like so healing, And I don't know, it's like
Speaker 1: the happiest, my happiest moments, or when I'm laughing at
Speaker 1: something uncomfortable or really dark. Yeah, I've only been able
Speaker 1: to move on from ship when i can laugh about
Speaker 1: it for sure. For sure. Yeah. Does it and does
Speaker 1: like depression affect your relationship with your wife ever? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It really does she have any sort of mental issues?
Speaker 1: She does not. And I will say to one of
Speaker 1: the it's it's been a thing with me when I've
Speaker 1: dated people where it is a pain in the ass
Speaker 1: and a hard thing to figure out. And um, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes people take it personally if I've had, like because
Speaker 1: I have these breakdowns. Sometimes sometimes they'll take it personally
Speaker 1: or feel like it's about them, and or sometimes they'll
Speaker 1: get very irritated and feel like it's being done on purpose.
Speaker 1: And one of the things that was so amazing about
Speaker 1: dating my wife was, you know, for me, it's always
Speaker 1: been a scary thing when I date someone because there's
Speaker 1: gonna come a moment of truth where I have one
Speaker 1: of these fucking attacks in front of them, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to see how they react. And I've often
Speaker 1: felt weak or felt judged um and with my wife,
Speaker 1: it just happened right in front of her and then
Speaker 1: she was like, all right, cool, what do you want
Speaker 1: to have for dinner? You know, like it was just
Speaker 1: like I know that's a thing about you, and now
Speaker 1: I've seen it and let's move on. And I've never
Speaker 1: felt more loved. That's beautiful. Thanks, That's perfect. That's exactly
Speaker 1: what we wanted to get across at Chris Gathered, which
Speaker 1: is unfortunately spelled like get hard. I never realized that
Speaker 1: until I was a YouTube clips of you and I
Speaker 1: was like it sell. I never I never thought that
Speaker 1: because I respect you too much as an artist. Well,
Speaker 1: anybody who sees me before they hear my name respects me,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't click. And then every I think it
Speaker 1: might see from Jersey when I think of like Chris now,
Speaker 1: he had my he helped me fight the police who
Speaker 1: were like that. He was part of the crew. Where
Speaker 1: can we get tickets to see your show? Career suicide
Speaker 1: show dot com? And if you when is this coming out?
Speaker 1: Can I do it a couple of weeks? Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: gonna if you if you just follow me on Twitter,
Speaker 1: there's always gonna be promo codes to get money off.
Speaker 1: Like if you're coming to one of the first nine
Speaker 1: shows and you put gut ten, you get ten bucks off.
Speaker 1: So ye Career Suicide Show dot com and and uh,
Speaker 1: I hope people come out and like it. Well, we'll
Speaker 1: definitely come and see it. Sounds yeah, that would be right.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for you, Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: I feel you you asked me so long ago. I'm
Speaker 1: glad it finally happened because I dig the show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I go on binges. I go on binges where I'll go, well,
Speaker 1: listen for a while and then I'll listen for it
Speaker 1: to like six in a row, and that work right
Speaker 1: for you come in doses, in big doses, which is great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I will. I'll also say to you, I think you
Speaker 1: guys will enjoy this in some of the stretches where
Speaker 1: I'm starting to feel funked up again, is I tend
Speaker 1: to find myself listening to this podcast a lot more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I find it to the other grounding thing in a
Speaker 1: weird way, in a weird way because you're like, at
Speaker 1: least I'm not. I'm not half up Jesus Christine. I
Speaker 1: remember once being in a really bad fucking place and
Speaker 1: listening to the one Moment made you feel normal. No,
Speaker 1: I remember listening to that one with the guy who
Speaker 1: had threesomes, and which one the guy who was kind of,
Speaker 1: in my opinion, if he listens back to it, I'm sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: the guy who was like, yeah, me and my girlfriend
Speaker 1: are both here and we're totally into threesomes. And she
Speaker 1: was kind of like, you're totally into thosoms and it
Speaker 1: had that vibe saw and Emily. Yes, I remember listening
Speaker 1: to that one and being like, this is so fascinating,
Speaker 1: Like they're the way they're speaking about it is a
Speaker 1: little imbalanced, and he's not hearing that, and you can
Speaker 1: hear him not hearing it, and this is amazing, and
Speaker 1: I'm in a much better mood now. I remember that
Speaker 1: one specifically works works so well for me, and then
Speaker 1: the one now I'm just fan bowing out. I loved
Speaker 1: the one where I think I think Curn it was
Speaker 1: you of like, was the guy who you kind of
Speaker 1: vaguely worked with in the industry and you picked each
Speaker 1: other up at some industry event. That was mad and
Speaker 1: like you were at some party together and it was
Speaker 1: just like go time. I remember hearing that one. I
Speaker 1: was like, rad, that's rad. Someone recently wrote us and
Speaker 1: he was like, I'm an older black man and I
Speaker 1: think that I was at that bar when you were there.
Speaker 1: I think I saw you go into the bathroom and
Speaker 1: I had a photo from that night and I sent
Speaker 1: him the photo back and I go, was this us
Speaker 1: were wearing? He didn't reply. I was so mad when
Speaker 1: she was in the background, sir, if you're yeah, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that would be great. I love it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean were visibly drunk. I mean we
Speaker 1: almost knocked down the whole bathroom like stall that night.
Speaker 1: We're still friends, but I've always been a big fan.
Speaker 1: I think historically I've always been known for like trying
Speaker 1: to be as honest as possible, and I built my
Speaker 1: whole career on over sharing, and I feel like I definitely,
Speaker 1: I definitely feel like when I listened to your Guys podcast,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I am certainly, there's no way
Speaker 1: I'm the one setting the bar on over shared at all.
Speaker 1: It's weird because when I talk, I don't feel like
Speaker 1: I am over shared. I feel like I'm just in
Speaker 1: my living room on my couch talking even though there's
Speaker 1: obviously a big mike in my face. I don't. And
Speaker 1: then sometimes I listen back like I said that. Well,
Speaker 1: I know for a fact I've said things where when
Speaker 1: I listened to this, I'm gonna be like, why the
Speaker 1: fund did I say that? At the moment you just
Speaker 1: But but that's the beautiful thing about it. It's like,
Speaker 1: is who I am. So I never regret it, because
Speaker 1: the one thing I would never want to do is
Speaker 1: like make something upset by what I said. So I
Speaker 1: try to be conscious of not hurting someone's feelings. But like,
Speaker 1: other than that, like I just I can't believe. I honest,
Speaker 1: I've been on this thing to be it's crazy, and
Speaker 1: it's there. It's like a comforting, warm blanket that's there
Speaker 1: when I need it. I love it so much, so cool.
Speaker 1: You know we're gonna have to go back at you
Speaker 1: and get some quotes for some project project up. I'm like,
Speaker 1: let me listen. Yes, these stories of drunken sexual mayhem.
Speaker 1: I feel less alone to turn to boy. Well, thank
Speaker 1: you so much, Chris, thank you, thank you. This has
Speaker 1: been Guys. We fucked the anti slot chimming podcast. We'll
Speaker 1: talk to you next Friday. We made on the ocean
Speaker 1: in a crystal box. When he saw how small, he
Speaker 1: knew he was lost. They had time on the hands,
Speaker 1: so they fell alve with the sea all around. In
Speaker 1: the sky, a boone with the time came along, and
Speaker 1: she had to move on with a smile, and away
Speaker 1: girl was gone. And stood there helpless and looking up.
Speaker 1: I wish you'd had a chance to say, these other days,
Speaker 1: to remember, these other days of no regrets and differ lifetime,
Speaker 1: should come between us. Then promise me you won't focus.
Speaker 1: They may have around the world, from Paris to road
Speaker 1: for a few short days they call at home m
Speaker 1: h under the moon, she sang of a song, But
Speaker 1: the very next day she was gone, gone, gone ut.
Speaker 1: They stood with pain in their hearts and looking up
Speaker 1: to see it as balls of park, clinging to the
Speaker 1: notion in the paramle, these other days, to remember, these
Speaker 1: other days of no regrets and differ lifetime, and come
Speaker 1: between us, and from sweet you won't forget