Speaker 1: You don't know.
Speaker 2: Confession. I can't take back earl arms speaker.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of sayings about the number two. In
Speaker 3: this world. It takes two to tango. Two heads are
Speaker 3: better than one. To complete this test, you'll need a
Speaker 3: number two pencil.
Speaker 4: Saying I have that one on a bumper sticker in
Speaker 4: the back of my car.
Speaker 3: Two is also the magic number on our show today,
Speaker 3: because we have two listeners who both want to confess
Speaker 3: their secrets right here on the mass speaker. We got
Speaker 3: to get to them quickly. So we're going to start
Speaker 3: with Evan. Evan, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: Hey, how are you?
Speaker 1: Oh good?
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, reaching that was the hidden meaning there.
Speaker 3: Voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker. Whenever
Speaker 3: you're ready, let's hear your confession.
Speaker 2: All right. So back when I was ten years old,
Speaker 2: I went to a sleep away camp, summer.
Speaker 1: Camp, so exciting.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's a blast. Started off that way. But
Speaker 2: I was walking alone, like on one of the trails, okay,
Speaker 2: and I noticed that I had a scab on my
Speaker 2: elbow and I just started, you know, picking out it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as ten year olds do.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, god, other kids, you like to pick everything
Speaker 3: those scabs whatever.
Speaker 4: Literally from the body right into the mountain.
Speaker 2: Good iron.
Speaker 4: Kids are weird.
Speaker 3: Let's just fash Oh sorry, keep going, Evan, Sorry you're
Speaker 3: picking your scab.
Speaker 2: Yeah, picking the scab on my elbow, just a normal
Speaker 2: day and it started bleeding.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what happened, is that when you learned about
Speaker 1: blood clotting.
Speaker 2: So that's when my ten year old self had this.
Speaker 2: It just came over me. I just had this idea,
Speaker 2: this inclination to use the blood from my scab to
Speaker 2: write a message on the camp door.
Speaker 4: This is less typical of ten year old man. What
Speaker 4: did you write?
Speaker 2: Well, I was really into like Sherlock Holmes Murder Mystery
Speaker 2: book one time. It was like this word or something
Speaker 2: written with blood on the door, and so I just
Speaker 2: I couldn't think of a word, and I was going
Speaker 2: really fast, and so I just thought of a quick
Speaker 2: three letter word die. Oh No, the.
Speaker 1: Whole camp goes into lockdown because of some ten year
Speaker 1: old door.
Speaker 3: Because stab couldn't have picked a happier word there, like yeah,
Speaker 3: where he's like I was trying to spell dice, but
Speaker 3: I just was ten.
Speaker 1: Very well, what happened?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the camp staff just totally put out everyone.
Speaker 4: Because the camp staff is always like nineteen year olds too.
Speaker 4: Is it not like we're dealing with like mature adults.
Speaker 4: What happened?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they pulled everyone out, and everybody in camp was questioned, like,
Speaker 2: I mean, can't basically shut down while they were doing
Speaker 2: this like investigation.
Speaker 1: Sent to capture the flag.
Speaker 4: It's like capture the murderer. Yeah, guess what's wrestling in
Speaker 4: the bushes? Yeah, so you didn't tell the truth. It
Speaker 4: sounds like no.
Speaker 2: I when they questioned me, A wore long see of
Speaker 2: shirt in the jacket so they wouldn't see my scalp
Speaker 2: or anything like that. The camp director like made this
Speaker 2: whole announcement and they ended up canceling camp four days early.
Speaker 4: No on that sound precaution.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my parents came picked me up, and wait did they.
Speaker 3: Refund all the kids do so much money from camp's.
Speaker 4: Money and everything.
Speaker 2: I have no idea, like to this day, I just
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't tell anybody ruined everybody's wow.
Speaker 3: At camp, But they never figured out it was you. No,
Speaker 3: can we not ask him?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, sorry, what was your real name?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Just kidding, I'm just skidding.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 4: That's a great brain so good. You shut down an
Speaker 4: entire camera and it's going to be tough to talk.
Speaker 4: We have time for one more.
Speaker 3: Let's go to Kelsey. You are now the mass speaker.
Speaker 3: Voice changer is on. We want to hear your confession.
Speaker 1: So when I was in college, well just after I've graduated,
Speaker 1: I worked for a few months at our prematorium.
Speaker 4: Woo a crematorium.
Speaker 1: I was just an assistant doing like office work, paperwork,
Speaker 1: some light teddy and cleaning.
Speaker 3: So like it was, oh, I don't think you could
Speaker 3: pay me a million dollars to work at one of those,
Speaker 3: especially when I was in college. But you didn't handle
Speaker 3: any of like the the body stuff.
Speaker 4: It was just in the office.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, just in the office.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 1: But the confession is there was one night I was
Speaker 1: working late, I was alone in the office, there was
Speaker 1: no one else there, and there was a shell in
Speaker 1: a back room where they would keep the really cheap
Speaker 1: plastic earns. Yeah okay, and that night I hear this
Speaker 1: huge crash. Needless to say, I freaked out, but I
Speaker 1: like put myself together, did not run from the building
Speaker 1: as much as I wanted to.
Speaker 3: By yourself good, because if someone's still alive in there.
Speaker 1: You're gonna need to find them.
Speaker 4: Here, finish them off.
Speaker 2: You're down.
Speaker 1: I would need a raise.
Speaker 4: For something like, So this loud crash happens.
Speaker 2: In the back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so I finally go back to check it
Speaker 1: out and that shelf had fallen down and there were
Speaker 1: ashes everywhere.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, I wish I could say that.
Speaker 1: I like called someone was like what do I do?
Speaker 1: But my young twenty two year old brain was just like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I'm going to get blamed for this. I'm
Speaker 1: going to get in trouble. You panicked. I can't.
Speaker 3: Oh no, just scoop them up, vacuum shop back.
Speaker 1: I just scooped you up and put him back in
Speaker 1: the urns and I pretend it's like nothing ever happened.
Speaker 1: So someone's grandpa was maybe mixed with someone's grandma. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: It's good to have a little company in the afternoon.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess that's what we are looking at.
Speaker 1: But I felt, really I felt back.
Speaker 3: I feel like the professionals still would do that.
Speaker 1: People mix up. Babies are here, so it's like giving
Speaker 1: them life an end of life.
Speaker 3: I'm going home and I'm throwing Grandpa right in the
Speaker 3: trash because I don't think it's really him anymore.
Speaker 4: No thirty six percent.
Speaker 3: Okay, maybe I'll hold on the thirty six percent of
Speaker 3: it then, Kelsey, thank you for confessing that text in
Speaker 3: seven eighty five, nine to two. If you have a
Speaker 3: confession you've been holding on to, we can hide your identity,
Speaker 3: mask your voice, and make you the next mass speaker.
Speaker 4: Phone taps coming up next
Speaker 2: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.