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Speaker 2: Hundred do you y Away.
Speaker 3: Today we call a father whose six year old son
Speaker 3: is having a big birthday bash this weekend, and his
Speaker 3: parents hired one of those animal entertainers to come by
Speaker 3: with some toads and lizards, little educational.
Speaker 2: Show in town.
Speaker 3: But there's been a change of plans because the wife
Speaker 3: decided she wants to reach out to us and say,
Speaker 3: Fred the frog Guy is being replaced. Oh you're gonna
Speaker 3: find out with who in your brand new phone? Tap
Speaker 3: right now?
Speaker 1: Another on the twenties.
Speaker 4: Hell, Hi is this matte.
Speaker 5: My name's Clara. I'm the assistant to Fred the frog Guy.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, hey, how you doing well?
Speaker 5: Actually we're supposed to say ribbit to each other, so
Speaker 5: you go first.
Speaker 4: Oh is that all you got? How about this? What
Speaker 4: good ribbit back at you? So?
Speaker 2: How can I help you today?
Speaker 5: Well, I know your kid's birthday party is on Saturday,
Speaker 5: and I'm so sorry to let you know that Fred
Speaker 5: won't be able to make it.
Speaker 2: Oh no, wow, okay, what's uh? Yeah, just going on.
Speaker 4: He's got a grand issue apparently.
Speaker 5: I mean, he claims it's not from touching tongues with
Speaker 5: a certain Amazon milk frog.
Speaker 4: But my god, we all think a little differently.
Speaker 2: It's wow, is he in the hospital?
Speaker 4: He's definitely on a trip, but not to the hospital.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 5: I mean it sounds like you haven't heard of that,
Speaker 5: like internet rumor that says you can suck the farts
Speaker 5: out of those things.
Speaker 4: Then all of a sudden everything you see is pink.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Is that a real thing?
Speaker 5: Me and the crew haven't tried it, but we could
Speaker 5: do it after the party if you like.
Speaker 2: You know, no, no, no, thank you.
Speaker 4: But little bonus at the end of the night.
Speaker 2: No, no, that that won't be necessary. And I don't
Speaker 2: think there's gonna be a party now if you're seeing
Speaker 2: Fred's out.
Speaker 4: Oh no, i'man Fred's out, but the party's on.
Speaker 2: Okay. Are you who's going to be covering for Fred?
Speaker 5: Then?
Speaker 4: Yours truly?
Speaker 2: Really? What?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: So okay, so you're qualified to cover for Fred.
Speaker 4: Then am I qualified?
Speaker 5: I have been waiting for this moment for years, and
Speaker 5: I have some special surprises for your kids.
Speaker 4: Party planned?
Speaker 2: What surprises? What surprises? Look, I just want to make
Speaker 2: sure I have a party. I don't want to add
Speaker 2: anything crazy into the mix.
Speaker 4: Are you sitting down because this is exciting?
Speaker 2: Yes? I am sitting down.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 5: We just got a new snapping turtle shipped in from
Speaker 5: ma A Gascar and we've been wanting one of those
Speaker 5: for months.
Speaker 2: A snapping turtle, I yes, don't it doesn't sound like
Speaker 2: a smart item to have around a bunch of kids
Speaker 2: with him.
Speaker 4: No, we call them fingers because it's his favorite thing
Speaker 4: to eat.
Speaker 2: No, that doesn't No, see that doesn't sound at all.
Speaker 4: Oh don't there's nothing to worry about.
Speaker 5: We made him a little muzzle out of dental floss
Speaker 5: and Scotch tape.
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure it'll hold.
Speaker 2: A muzzled No. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. This is not
Speaker 2: This is not what we were asking.
Speaker 4: Are you worried about the money because we are not
Speaker 4: charging you extra.
Speaker 2: It's not about the money. It's it's about whatever you
Speaker 2: have planned here, being safe for kids to be around.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, yeah, No, not meant to be risky.
Speaker 5: Safeties first, and that's why we created this tiny little
Speaker 5: saddle for him, because the kids are gonna.
Speaker 4: Ride on the back.
Speaker 2: No, I need you to figure this out and get
Speaker 2: on the same page with me this.
Speaker 5: You're telling me your kid wouldn't want to write a
Speaker 5: turtle named fingers.
Speaker 2: I mean probably, yes, I don't know if I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna find out either. Why do you write.
Speaker 5: One thing you're not considering is parents and kids alike.
Speaker 5: They are going to point to you with all five
Speaker 5: digits because they're still gonna have them. They're going to
Speaker 5: point to you and they're gonna say that guy through
Speaker 5: the party of the year.
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't care about that at all.
Speaker 5: On other animal in tato is gonna have your little
Speaker 5: boy in a bathtub of box jellyfish looking for his
Speaker 5: party prize?
Speaker 2: What box jellyfish?
Speaker 4: No, listen, I don't think I told you. I will
Speaker 4: be equipped with two.
Speaker 5: Stun guns and if you high octane nitrous injectors.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry. This is way way more intense than
Speaker 2: what you had listed on the website. And yeah, it
Speaker 2: is not what we signed up for. I thought we
Speaker 2: were talking about frogs, toads or whatever boring things?
Speaker 4: Is that what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: It's not boring, it's just meant to be, you know,
Speaker 2: enjoyable and safe. I mean, I'm not taking these kids
Speaker 2: to the Everglades.
Speaker 4: I just always like.
Speaker 5: To think, what would the guys from Jackass do if
Speaker 5: they owned a mobile petting zoo for reptiles.
Speaker 2: They would be soon and they would be out of business,
Speaker 2: just like you're about to be. I'm like two seconds
Speaker 2: away from calling the cops right now.
Speaker 5: You don't need to call the cops. All you need
Speaker 5: to do is call your wife, Robin. Okay, what she's
Speaker 5: the one that set you up for this prank phone call.
Speaker 2: You have to be Oh my god, this is actually.
Speaker 5: Broke from the radio show Brick at Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 5: We're doing a phone tap on you.
Speaker 2: Oh, come on.
Speaker 4: Your wife, Robins.
Speaker 5: You just want to say thank you, you know, for
Speaker 5: all the help you've done organizing your kid's birthday party.
Speaker 2: I gotta go.
Speaker 5: I gotta go too, because I've already loaded about fifteen
Speaker 5: Australian brown snakes into the truck, got an eighteen month
Speaker 5: old twin.
Speaker 4: Birthday party down the street. Gotta let them loose in
Speaker 4: their play pad. Okay ye, see which one survived.
Speaker 2: That sounds great.
Speaker 4: Wake up every
Speaker 5: Morning was funk taps weekday morning on the twenties, Brook
Speaker 5: and Jeffrey in the morning