Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club Morning.
Speaker 3: Everybody is DJ n V, charlamagnea God. We are the
Speaker 3: Breakfast Club. We got a special Guess in.
Speaker 2: The building, Leslie fucking Joan Leslie.
Speaker 1: Joe's ladies and gentlemen, welcome.
Speaker 2: Good morning.
Speaker 1: He ha he hair, he hair.
Speaker 2: How you feeling.
Speaker 1: I'm good. I was looking for Jess.
Speaker 2: You know, she's she got shows in Detroit.
Speaker 1: This will after. I thought she's gonna be here so
Speaker 1: I can key kid, that's my girl. You are you
Speaker 1: kidding me?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: And she is so funny.
Speaker 4: I gotta say that, she's one of my favorite people
Speaker 4: on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I love her shit. She always make me laugh so funny.
Speaker 5: What kind of jewels do you give the young female
Speaker 5: stand ups like Jess?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 4: Well, Jess shit, she don't need nothing, she gets it
Speaker 4: like this is the one thing I love about Jess, though,
Speaker 4: is that she's confident enough to be like very sexy
Speaker 4: and still do come and see. When I was coming up,
Speaker 4: it was just the rule just you know, okay, I'll
Speaker 4: put it like this. Women comedians have to go through
Speaker 4: a certain thing, like if I dress sexy and walk
Speaker 4: on stage five minutes, I'm not gonna be heard because
Speaker 4: when I walk on stage, the first thing is you're
Speaker 4: gonna get the women going, oh, she thinks she's cute,
Speaker 4: and then they gonna look at that man and be like,
Speaker 4: oh does he think?
Speaker 1: Does he want to fuck her?
Speaker 4: And then you got the man. So that's five minutes
Speaker 4: of going to like all that happens. So I used
Speaker 4: to just do the T shirt jeans, tenis you so
Speaker 4: you can pay attention to me. But the thing I
Speaker 4: like about her is that she don't give a fuck,
Speaker 4: Like she gonna go up there and she gonna do
Speaker 4: her fun and she's gonna do her and I like
Speaker 4: that that women are starting to become more like I'm
Speaker 4: fucking like, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1: I'm still funny and I'm fine as fuck. Like it's
Speaker 1: like I love that.
Speaker 4: So what I would give, what I always give young women,
Speaker 4: is to you don't have to prove that you're a woman,
Speaker 4: like Jess does go on stage and do that, which
Speaker 4: like you, she doesn't have to prove she's a woman.
Speaker 4: Like a lot of female comics write like period jokes
Speaker 4: or this jokes. If you can make them funny, that's different.
Speaker 4: Just be yourself, you know, yeah, yeah, that's what I
Speaker 4: would just like, always keep writing, don't stay on the
Speaker 4: same thing.
Speaker 1: You should refresh your set a lot.
Speaker 4: You should always be writing new jokes and and anything
Speaker 4: that you think is funny. It's definitely something you should
Speaker 4: go on stage and try.
Speaker 5: What advice would you give her about having a permanent
Speaker 5: gig on top of the stand up, like you know,
Speaker 5: just say a daily show or a daily radio show,
Speaker 5: you mean, like this show.
Speaker 1: She should be here for now that one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say to keep doing what she's doing
Speaker 4: because see, to me, Jess is gonna bring you numbers.
Speaker 4: Jess is gonna bring you a whole different and no
Speaker 4: shitting on y'all. But y'all all men, y'all are and
Speaker 4: y'all don't know about bitches. Trust me, I'll listen to
Speaker 4: your shit. You don't know nothing about pussy, nothing, not
Speaker 4: a fucking thing, right And and to me, when Jess
Speaker 4: is on here, she really be like, you know, doing
Speaker 4: her thing. You know, I really like her responses. She's
Speaker 4: not scared of y'all. So I would tell her to
Speaker 4: continue because she one thing I like about her. I
Speaker 4: bet you she gets the numbers because she continuously put
Speaker 4: that context. I bet you she gets the numbers. That's
Speaker 4: somebody y'all need on it.
Speaker 2: She's a coaching shifting Yeah you do.
Speaker 4: You really do need to like and bring some youth
Speaker 4: to this room. I'm not like, again, I'm not insulting you.
Speaker 2: Yes you are, but I'm not insulting.
Speaker 1: But you're not lying. But some of this ship because
Speaker 1: this is this is the Breakfast Club. Y'all.
Speaker 4: Fucks have been here for a while and you should
Speaker 4: be here for some more time. But the only way
Speaker 4: to do that is to continue to roll with the
Speaker 4: fucking change, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And y'all need a bitch in here. That's the first
Speaker 1: time you've been there.
Speaker 4: This first time, yeah, because I was like, here, if
Speaker 4: she would I come take this motherfucker because y'all sitting
Speaker 4: in here with.
Speaker 1: Thrownes as funck off.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna have time. You're gonna be doing the
Speaker 2: Daily Show.
Speaker 1: Oh you think so? Thank you y'all.
Speaker 4: First of all, I have to say thank you so
Speaker 4: much for coming on there. That was one of the
Speaker 4: best segments I've ever done. I still get people ask
Speaker 4: me about it. I love that you came on there
Speaker 4: and was very vulnerable and is just wonderful. You made
Speaker 4: me a fan of you that day.
Speaker 2: Very much real.
Speaker 5: I actually heard you talking about it afterwards on your
Speaker 5: podcast too, and I was like, oh wow, it.
Speaker 4: Was really awesome me and Lenny was just like he
Speaker 4: was so fucking great, like he's just really good.
Speaker 1: And a lot of people asked me about that.
Speaker 4: It was like yeah, and I was like, yeah, man,
Speaker 4: what he said was true, Like you said some really good.
Speaker 3: I want to do from the beginning from Leslie Jones.
Speaker 3: If you don't know how did you get into comedy?
Speaker 3: What what made this say that this is what I
Speaker 3: want to do as a kid.
Speaker 1: Or well, I never thought I was a comedian.
Speaker 4: I never thought I was a comedian until someone entered
Speaker 4: me into a contest.
Speaker 1: I just thought I was silly.
Speaker 4: You know, people invite me to parties and shit and
Speaker 4: they be like, you know, we got to invite Leslie.
Speaker 4: You know, I just was getting invited to a lot
Speaker 4: of stuff and just didn't understand why.
Speaker 1: And people like to hang out with me. And one
Speaker 1: day my friend was.
Speaker 4: Like, yoich because you are stupid, like you're really funny,
Speaker 4: and she was like, you should do comedy and I
Speaker 4: was just like, no, that's.
Speaker 1: Like Eddie Murphy, that's like whoop we go over.
Speaker 4: And I was like, I can't do that, Like I
Speaker 4: might be an actress and then I'll act I'm Whoopie,
Speaker 4: like you know, I'll do a role or something. I
Speaker 4: never thought as myself as a stand up. And then
Speaker 4: when she signed me up, she signed me up for
Speaker 4: a contest at college. It was the funniest person on
Speaker 4: campus and school Colorado State, and I was on a
Speaker 4: scholarship in basketball there and she came and told me.
Speaker 1: She was like, yeah, I signed you up for this contest.
Speaker 4: And I got mad, but I wasn't really mad because
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, well, let's try it. As soon
Speaker 4: as I touched the mic, it's I can't I tell
Speaker 4: everybody they think I'm lying. But it was literally like
Speaker 4: I saw like It's like had been doing it forever.
Speaker 4: It's like I saw myself like there's nothing, there is
Speaker 4: no option of me doing anything else. It was just
Speaker 4: like a light that went on in a line that
Speaker 4: went straight, and how.
Speaker 1: Did you start preparing after that?
Speaker 3: So now you want to do comedy, right, But it's
Speaker 3: like anything else people you know, most people that go
Speaker 3: on stage, you think they could do comedy and then
Speaker 3: they fail because they don't know sets, they don't know times,
Speaker 3: they don't know delivery. You start studying it and said
Speaker 3: this is what I want to do it, And who
Speaker 3: did you study?
Speaker 4: Well? I mean I First of all, what I realized
Speaker 4: is that I was already studying like my dad had,
Speaker 4: every comedy because it was DJ So I was already
Speaker 4: into Pigfoot and Millie Jackson and you know Mom's may.
Speaker 4: I already knew about all that stuff. I had already
Speaker 4: had the knowledge of it. And uh, as far as
Speaker 4: like knowing what I was supposed to do on stage,
Speaker 4: I still was in that mode of like, well, I
Speaker 4: want to be like Eddie Murphy, I want to be
Speaker 4: like what we go work. I want to I want
Speaker 4: to be like Richard Pryor. But what I didn't understand
Speaker 4: is that they are who they are. That's the reason
Speaker 4: they do the comedy that they're doing. I'm gonna have
Speaker 4: to find out who I am. I learned that from Jamie.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 4: You know when I saw Jamie Fox, yes so, cause
Speaker 4: he was I think it was the second time or
Speaker 4: maybe third time I performed, and uh, I'm shit. I
Speaker 4: bombed like a motherfucker. But when he came on stage,
Speaker 4: it was like, holy shit, he performs just like what
Speaker 4: your probably and are like, this is crazy. So it
Speaker 4: made me go, Okay, what is what is this formula?
Speaker 1: What is this?
Speaker 4: And then when I talked to him, he was just like,
Speaker 4: you're young. You don't really have nothing to talk about.
Speaker 4: Go out and live, Go out and discover life, get fired,
Speaker 4: get hired, get your heart broke, break some hearts, just
Speaker 4: go through life so you can start have something to
Speaker 4: talk about because right now you're trying to do jokes
Speaker 4: and you're not mature enough to do the jokes that
Speaker 4: you're doing, and you're not funny enough to do the
Speaker 4: jokes that you're doing, and you don't have shit to
Speaker 4: talk about.
Speaker 1: So you know, that's what I did. I went out
Speaker 1: and lived. I went out and lived, and he.
Speaker 4: Was right because by the time I came back, I
Speaker 4: had shit to talk about. So getting prepared is doing
Speaker 4: doing like me and me and Mike Tyson had this
Speaker 4: very conversation. It's like before I was even Mike anything,
Speaker 4: I did a thousand fights.
Speaker 1: So that's basically it.
Speaker 4: Like I tell New Jackson, like man, whenever I hear
Speaker 4: a new Jack or anybody complaining about the spot up.
Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 4: You shut up, like especially when they complain about a
Speaker 4: main club.
Speaker 1: And he was like, motherfucker, do you know how.
Speaker 4: Long it took us to work for you to get
Speaker 4: the fuck spot? And you bitching about it? Man, I'll
Speaker 4: stump the shit out of you right now in front
Speaker 4: of this club. So it's like, do a billion Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: I do a billion spots a billion.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 4: I have performed fucking everywhere, son. I have performed in
Speaker 4: living rooms, I've performed in salons. I've performed in motherfucking classroom.
Speaker 4: I've performed everywhere.
Speaker 1: If it's a mic, I was there.
Speaker 4: You motherfuckers who've only don it two or three years,
Speaker 4: don't nobody give a fuck about what you're talking about.
Speaker 4: Fuck you and do the fucking work like Instagram motherfuckers.
Speaker 4: Like there's only like I said, Jess can pull it off.
Speaker 4: I've seen pretty V pretty V funny, but.
Speaker 5: Just put in the works exactly.
Speaker 4: And that's what people don't understand. This is not microwave.
Speaker 4: You're not gonna just become funny overnight. There's no such
Speaker 4: thing as that. I hate when people say that you
Speaker 4: might be generally funny, but you need to go through
Speaker 4: the steps of becoming a real professional. There's a different
Speaker 4: between an amateur and a fucking professional. And everything everything
Speaker 4: is to say, you gotta go through how to write,
Speaker 4: You gotta the first three years it's just you figure
Speaker 4: and out how to even stand on stage? Do I
Speaker 4: want a stool? Do I want some water here? Do
Speaker 4: I want the Do I want to hold the mic?
Speaker 4: Do I want to put the mic here? Do I
Speaker 4: want to sit there?
Speaker 1: Say all that, like how to how to talk?
Speaker 2: I never thought about it.
Speaker 4: No, how to talk? How to look at the audience?
Speaker 4: Do you look right at the audience? Do you look
Speaker 4: or I me myself if you really pay attention. I
Speaker 4: never look at the audience until I'm doing crowd work.
Speaker 4: I look over the audience because you can't. It's like
Speaker 4: a concentration thing on his zone. Yeah, yeah, I'm in
Speaker 4: his owne. So you know you gotta do that. I
Speaker 4: tell you like this. I had been doing comedy for
Speaker 4: three years and I thought I was the ship because
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 1: I was killing that motherfucker.
Speaker 4: And I went up to Jans and Brown and I
Speaker 4: was like, yeah, and Jay, when fuck I'm gonna start
Speaker 4: seeing the fruits of my motherfucking labor, like when I'm
Speaker 4: when I'm gonna blow up.
Speaker 1: He was like ten years. I remember bus I went.
Speaker 4: I went home and cried because I was like ten
Speaker 4: because this is the thing. It wasn't that I said
Speaker 4: in my head not fuck him, you know, because I
Speaker 4: was in that type of comic. I was a very
Speaker 4: much like when I started comedy, I prayed to God.
Speaker 4: I said, listen, I want to be a good comic.
Speaker 4: If I'm not gonna be a good comic, just let
Speaker 4: me be a promoter or something, because I don't want
Speaker 4: to do comedy wrong. So when he said to ten years,
Speaker 4: it was it was not me going, ah, now that's
Speaker 4: you saying. And then now it was me taking it
Speaker 4: in from a veteran telling me like, damn, I'm not
Speaker 4: gonna know myself until ten years. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: all this, you know, pussy fucking and smoking weed all that.
Speaker 1: That's because he literally asked me one day, he said
Speaker 1: what do you do doing the daytime? And I was like,
Speaker 1: I do a lot of stuff.
Speaker 4: He was like, well, from your set, it sounds like
Speaker 4: only thing you do is fuck and smoke weed and
Speaker 4: watch game shows. So he was like, that's all we
Speaker 4: get from it, and I was like, nah, that that's
Speaker 4: the ten year thing because see, first three years you
Speaker 4: learn how to be on stage, just just thick of
Speaker 4: yourself as a toddler. The first year you're walking around,
Speaker 4: you're doing shit jokes, you're doing pussy jokes, you're doing
Speaker 4: all the dumb jokes. The second year you may have
Speaker 4: graduated a little bit, but you're still doing sex jokes.
Speaker 4: Sex jokes is whenever you're seeing people doing sex jo
Speaker 4: unless they're just veterans and they got sex jokes, it's
Speaker 4: an easy thing.
Speaker 1: To go into. It's just it's like low hanging fruit.
Speaker 4: So those first three or four years you're really just
Speaker 4: deciding who you want to be as a comic or whatever.
Speaker 4: Five years is when you start getting your gigs. You
Speaker 4: gotta set you know. Oh my god, whenever I see
Speaker 4: a new jack that's doing it two years and they
Speaker 4: have more than five minutes, I want to run up
Speaker 4: on stage and smother them with.
Speaker 2: A bag, Like.
Speaker 4: Who told you that somebody wanted to listen to you
Speaker 4: for five minutes? No, get one good fucking joke. You
Speaker 4: should have nothing, even if they ask for five, you
Speaker 4: should be doing three. Make that three the strongest that
Speaker 4: you do. And people who get up there that are
Speaker 4: new and you start working on your new shit, find
Speaker 4: a workout place to do that, cause when you come
Speaker 4: to a main club, you need to be shooting your
Speaker 4: motherfucking shot, like don't nobody know you?
Speaker 1: Yes, I understand trying out new jokes.
Speaker 4: That is great, but that's like after six or seven
Speaker 4: years that you get that cocky to go to a
Speaker 4: spot and try out a new joke. You should always
Speaker 4: have a set set because don't nobody know you yet.
Speaker 5: So when you get to h get to have a
Speaker 5: set set because don't nobody know you yet.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just saying making a T shirt.
Speaker 2: But after you get.
Speaker 4: Eight nine years, eight nine, eighth year, ninth years, that's
Speaker 4: when you start getting the big gigs instead ten years,
Speaker 4: ten years is when you get tired of your set.
Speaker 4: Ten years is when you go, Okay, I got their attention.
Speaker 4: Now what I want to say?
Speaker 1: That's when you start talking about yourself real.
Speaker 4: That's when that's when that's when you bring them jokes
Speaker 4: out because you're going to be good enough to do it.
Speaker 4: And by that time, you got at least twenty thousand
Speaker 4: sets under your fucking belt, and you should be. And
Speaker 4: people got to know the ten year rule. There's no
Speaker 4: way to beat it. Oh fuck are you who's saying no,
Speaker 4: there'll be to not what you're talking about. I've been
Speaker 4: in the business since motherfucking eighty seven, bitch.
Speaker 2: I know you know how you know what you're saying
Speaker 2: is the truth.
Speaker 5: Because even when you look at the new generation, I
Speaker 5: don't care if it's Jesse, Larryus, DC, Young Fly, Andrew Schultz,
Speaker 5: They've all been doing stand up for damnitary ten years.
Speaker 2: A bet, Andrew's been doing it for sixteen exactly.
Speaker 5: Jess should be right at ten right now, and DC
Speaker 5: should be right at ten right now. So you're absolutely right, yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's just like it's like people want to
Speaker 4: beat the system, and you're not gonna beat the system.
Speaker 4: Put it in the fucking work. Put it in the
Speaker 4: fucking work. Your time would come.
Speaker 2: Leslie, who do you think curse is more? You and
Speaker 2: Samuel L.
Speaker 4: Jackson we about it the same because we did meet
Speaker 4: and both of us.
Speaker 1: Wow, you think I cursed a lot?
Speaker 2: I do, the name of your book is Leslie fucking.
Speaker 4: Joy because that's what people say when they come up
Speaker 4: to me. They'd be like, Lasley fucking Jones. So that's
Speaker 4: that's why I made it that. But it's the first
Speaker 4: time I cursed in front of my mom because she
Speaker 4: knew I had a bad mouth. My dad did too.
Speaker 4: My dad knew I had a bad mouth, but they
Speaker 4: was like, no, you respect enough to not to curse
Speaker 4: around here.
Speaker 1: And we was walking to the store.
Speaker 4: I will never forget to walk into the store and
Speaker 4: I had just went to a parade where they had
Speaker 4: to drum and I was like, mom, you should have
Speaker 4: seen the major rest. They were swinging the ass and
Speaker 4: my mom was like, yo, you're not talking to your friend.
Speaker 4: To watch your mouth, girl.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: I was about to get into the you know, fucks
Speaker 4: and all of that, and she was like, oh, what
Speaker 4: you sound like when you're not around me. I was like,
Speaker 4: very bad, very bad. But I think that me and
Speaker 4: Samuel L. Jackson are the same. I think we cursed
Speaker 4: at the same and met each other in the Yeah,
Speaker 4: it was hilarious and I actually imitated him on SNL.
Speaker 2: I missed that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we did family feud, let me tell you.
Speaker 4: And I don't give a fuck because Kenan Donna love it,
Speaker 4: but we okay. It was one of those those times
Speaker 4: where you they literally literally let us just have a
Speaker 4: little fun. So they wanted me to be Samuel Jackson,
Speaker 4: but they was gonna put the beard on me, and
Speaker 4: for some reason, we didn't have the beard, and I.
Speaker 1: Just dressed like he, like with the hat and the leather.
Speaker 4: Jacket, and it's like I did look like Samuel, but didn't.
Speaker 1: I just looked like Leslie. So when he came to
Speaker 1: me and he.
Speaker 4: Was like Samuel a man, we were laughing so hard
Speaker 4: because Kennan was like, wait a minute, now, you don't look.
Speaker 1: Like no damse.
Speaker 2: Was he pretending to be Steve.
Speaker 4: God?
Speaker 1: And all I kept saying is you can burn it half.
Speaker 4: It was just like really really fun. But yeah, when
Speaker 4: I finally met him, yeah, it was just like so funny.
Speaker 4: But I think he cursed less when he met me.
Speaker 3: Because I got to ask, so you talked about you
Speaker 3: remember bombing? So I always ask comedian when they come up,
Speaker 3: you remember your worst show and.
Speaker 2: Your best show?
Speaker 4: Oh, Shita, babe, like again was a thousand, one thousand.
Speaker 4: I can name ten straight. That is probably the same
Speaker 4: type of words. Let me, See I fell off the stage. No,
Speaker 4: but that wasn't my worst show. I fell off the
Speaker 4: stage and got right back up and was like, I'm
Speaker 4: a stunt man too, and kept rick.
Speaker 1: But you're talking about like a bomb, like I remember
Speaker 1: Kevin kept up heying.
Speaker 3: One time he talked me about the time where they
Speaker 3: threw a chicken wing at the Charles over the chicken
Speaker 3: wing at him. Right, that was one of his worst shows.
Speaker 3: So what was like that one show that's always.
Speaker 2: In your mind? It be like that motherfucking venue.
Speaker 1: Damn, I guess hmmm. I would say riddles.
Speaker 4: But see again, I'm such a I'm a gainst homie.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna win the audience, But I would say riddles.
Speaker 4: Maybe in Chicago was always kind of a hard room
Speaker 4: to do. I'm riddles A d Ray used to host it.
Speaker 4: What happened today? I think that's when I fell off
Speaker 4: the chair. I stood up on a chair and then
Speaker 4: fell off the chair.
Speaker 1: But now I still rip that shit was so fucking funny.
Speaker 4: I could just tell you funny shit like I got
Speaker 4: introduced in Omaha at this poetry poetry show and this
Speaker 4: is was so hilarious, Like I was, you know, and
Speaker 4: I was beautiful, like young, had long hair. On the road,
Speaker 4: and you know, dudes be trying to talk to you
Speaker 4: and sit and especially the ones that you want.
Speaker 1: To talk to.
Speaker 4: So I remember this rotster dude was trying to talk
Speaker 4: to me. He was fine, looked like Bob Marley, motherfucker.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, you're definitely going to the hotel room.
Speaker 4: So I'm talking to him and then dudes like, I'm
Speaker 4: about to introduce you, right, And I had on these
Speaker 4: fucking clunky ass sandals or something, and he introduced me,
Speaker 4: and man, I came down that step and fucking summersault
Speaker 4: rolled right into in front of the fucking thing and.
Speaker 1: Jump back up. I was like, yeah, that's how I
Speaker 1: come on stage. That's how I come on stage. Man.
Speaker 4: I looked over and the roster was paying his bill
Speaker 4: to leave. I said to you, mother, you.
Speaker 1: Motherfucker, what about the best show? So the best show?
Speaker 2: What was the most amazing show that you still love?
Speaker 1: I just can't. Okay, it's just too many. I would say.
Speaker 4: One of my favorite ones is when I went to
Speaker 4: Grand Rapids, Michigan, and uh, they had a whole section
Speaker 4: that was deaf and they had the girl doing THEA. Yeah,
Speaker 4: they were deaf, and she was signing so you know,
Speaker 4: I have a dirty show. And I was like, how
Speaker 4: you say suck dick? So she was like doing it.
Speaker 1: So I was like, so dick s dick.
Speaker 4: And then she got really tired and I was like,
Speaker 4: ain't that's something the white girl got tired of sucking dick?
Speaker 4: Man Grand Rappers where they were on fire.
Speaker 1: It's so many good shows. I mean when I was
Speaker 1: on tour with Cat like sold me.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I have to tell the story because
Speaker 4: I know Cat remember this.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: So it was the beginning of the fucking tour. We
Speaker 4: was in Chicago, I remember this. So it was a
Speaker 4: New Year's show, so we went out performing. Cat was late,
Speaker 4: so I had to go out and you know, keep
Speaker 4: performing or whatever. So when Cat got there, you know
Speaker 4: Cat is Cat. So this dude was waiting with her
Speaker 4: fur coat, like this beautiful black fur coat.
Speaker 1: So he was like, Cat, I want you to wear
Speaker 1: an I want you to wearing on stage.
Speaker 4: So Cat was like yeah, so you put the coat
Speaker 4: on and he went out and you know, people lost
Speaker 4: it and they was already mad that he was late,
Speaker 4: but to see him, they lost it.
Speaker 1: They lost. They he was going crazy.
Speaker 4: Cat took off that coat and strew it out into
Speaker 4: the audience and dude was like, dude, feinted. No, man, Dude,
Speaker 4: that call was like fifteen thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: They ripped that motherfucker apart.
Speaker 2: And he was just like, Yo, probably gave him the money.
Speaker 1: No, he did not.
Speaker 2: No, he did not hear about Cat being so generous.
Speaker 1: He may have gave me that. I just didn't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I think Cap was like, that's
Speaker 1: the way the kriokie crumbos. Hummy.
Speaker 5: You know Chris Rock, he did the forward to your
Speaker 5: book and you talk about your relationship with Chris Rock.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I'm known him forever, know, you know,
Speaker 4: all the comedians known each other forever, Chris. I met
Speaker 4: Tony Rock before I actually met Chris Rock, but just
Speaker 4: known each other forever. And I used to always just
Speaker 4: bug the shit out of him and be like, Yo,
Speaker 4: I'm only gonna make it if somebody like you tell
Speaker 4: them I'm funny.
Speaker 1: Well, you ain't telling them I'm funny, Christy.
Speaker 4: And he'd just be like he always said he didn't
Speaker 4: say I wasn't ready, but he did say that. But
Speaker 4: he was like, no, they're not ready for you, That's
Speaker 4: what he was saying. But I was always man. I
Speaker 4: would chase him out to the car at the Lave Factory.
Speaker 4: I would chase him all the way out to his
Speaker 4: car and I'd be like, what the fuck, yo, what
Speaker 4: you're doing? Like, well, you see me ripping these motherfuckers?
Speaker 4: And he just smile at me and getting this car
Speaker 4: like got that at grass I.
Speaker 2: Love it, he said.
Speaker 5: In the four Door, he said he talked about how
Speaker 5: SNL could easily find white comedians because of the institutions,
Speaker 5: but don't have an idea with the find funny black people.
Speaker 5: So how difficult is it for a black comedian to
Speaker 5: be discovered for it?
Speaker 4: And just like what he said, like you find them
Speaker 4: in the institution, you find the funny bitches at the DMV.
Speaker 4: And that's real talk. Like Barbara Carlile. I will always
Speaker 4: mentioned Barbara Carlyle because Barbara Carlile when I was coming out,
Speaker 4: was one of the biggest female combat like so freaking funny,
Speaker 4: like funny as hell.
Speaker 1: How she didn't blow up, you know.
Speaker 4: What I'm saying, Because she didn't say have the same
Speaker 4: opportunities as maybe a white you know, female comic can
Speaker 4: get seen easier if they get the laugh factory spots
Speaker 4: in the comedy store and the seller and all of
Speaker 4: that stuff, you know, and really like we have to
Speaker 4: vouch for each other.
Speaker 1: Like at the seller had to vouch for for yam
Speaker 1: I always.
Speaker 2: Say her name is Yaminica.
Speaker 4: Yaminica, always say her name when she she loves that
Speaker 4: I mess her name up. But she'd be like, you know,
Speaker 4: to say my name, bitch, one of the man When
Speaker 4: I say y'am a Mika and she gonna be like, god,
Speaker 4: damn it, Leslie so funny, ah one of my faith.
Speaker 1: Oh she's so funny. So and she don't care. She
Speaker 1: will just tell you tell her.
Speaker 4: But at first they weren't gonna let her in the cellar.
Speaker 4: So I was like, yo, if I hadn't got sn L,
Speaker 4: that would be me, So let her in. You got
Speaker 4: white comics down there talking about having sex with their
Speaker 4: wife with a Christmas roll and you talk about she's blue.
Speaker 1: No fuck that put her up.
Speaker 4: So you know, it's it's like that's it's just that
Speaker 4: type of community.
Speaker 1: You know, it's that type of community.
Speaker 4: But but you know, Chris, Chris knew what did take
Speaker 4: somebody like a Chris to say, yo, you need to
Speaker 4: put her on. Well now, I mean nowadays, now it's different.
Speaker 4: Now we're getting a lot more love. But back in
Speaker 4: the day, yeah, you got to get introduced through amel.
Speaker 4: You know, that's how it is an old boys club.
Speaker 3: Every comedian always talk about bad promoters, and promoters are
Speaker 3: always bad in the commity.
Speaker 1: How bad was sisty shot?
Speaker 4: Oh? And like and I'm just to tell you, I'm
Speaker 4: pretty sure just shisty ass promoters. They're bad for everybody,
Speaker 4: but for women it's extra. It's an extra layer there
Speaker 4: because oh god, I hate to say it like this,
Speaker 4: because it was really hard in the beginning because promoters.
Speaker 1: You know, you have some of the.
Speaker 4: Promoters that think they gonna get to fuck you or
Speaker 4: either like that you that you are being brought for
Speaker 4: them to fuck you. I remember, and I'm not gonna
Speaker 4: even mention this comic, but when you hear the story,
Speaker 4: he gonna fucking know who he is.
Speaker 1: But I remember it.
Speaker 4: But because I was all of these that man, I
Speaker 4: came from hos, pimps and crackheads and drug dealers. You
Speaker 4: comedy niggas is jokes. Young niggas are clowns like I
Speaker 4: wouldn't fuck you with my enemies pussy, and I don't
Speaker 4: like that bitch.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, fuck her with a hard dick,
Speaker 1: but not yours.
Speaker 6: So so so you would like when I first came,
Speaker 6: it was like if you if there was a headline
Speaker 6: they want you to go on the road, It's like,
Speaker 6: are you fucking?
Speaker 4: Are you fucking? It used to be like that, but
Speaker 4: I would get on room because I was funny. But
Speaker 4: you definitely would have the moments where, hey, why you
Speaker 4: not being nice to the promoter?
Speaker 1: The promoter like you, why you're not being nice to
Speaker 1: the promoter? Man?
Speaker 4: Fuck that that nigga is seventy two and he has
Speaker 4: on my grandfather's suit. Damn, What the fuck you think
Speaker 4: I'm gonna fuck the promoter? What deal is you making?
Speaker 1: You know? I mean that type of shit.
Speaker 4: Or the hotels, like I remember another fucking comment. We're
Speaker 4: all on the same hallway and they didn't get no
Speaker 4: bitches because they're not gonna get no bitches. And they're like, oh,
Speaker 4: we just trying to figure out who's gonna get to
Speaker 4: come to Leslie's room. I said, none of you hoes,
Speaker 4: And what was so funny is that I actually was
Speaker 4: hooking up with somebody to night and that.
Speaker 1: Motherfucker walked right down the hallway and I opened.
Speaker 4: Up the doors like, yeah, that's who gets the pussy,
Speaker 4: not you dirty niggas.
Speaker 1: Damn like you dirty dick.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, you're gonna have to cut all that. I
Speaker 4: even had a comedian come to my room to give
Speaker 4: me my money, and my homegirl was there. We were come
Speaker 4: to my room and say, hey, so you got your
Speaker 4: friend here, So y'all want to have what what what
Speaker 4: makes you think that somebody want to fuck you?
Speaker 1: You light skinned piece of shit?
Speaker 4: Damn No, I know, and I'm in any comic you
Speaker 4: asked me and ask about me, will tell you I
Speaker 4: am that bitch that yeah, we don't fuck with us
Speaker 4: that you know.
Speaker 2: It's funny what you talking about with the money thing.
Speaker 5: That's what I've always concerned about with women and promoters,
Speaker 5: because I'm always like, moots be short. They're more than
Speaker 5: likely to be like, I'm not giving her money.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like nothing gonna happen.
Speaker 4: Oh I she's talking about worst shows and I'm a
Speaker 4: mentioned everybody name and this ship. Okay, So I'm in
Speaker 4: New York, New York. You know, it's not that many women.
Speaker 4: When I was doing it. It's fute and we get
Speaker 4: them shows or whatever. And yes, I did.
Speaker 1: A show for Raid and John.
Speaker 5: Ray.
Speaker 1: So he books me in fucking Brooklyn, right, and.
Speaker 4: It's I remember it was Drew Frasier somebody else and
Speaker 4: I don't remember who this promoter's name was, but he,
Speaker 4: I guess because I was a female. And the crowd
Speaker 4: wasn't good. So Drew went up, He did all right.
Speaker 4: Another comedian went up and they wasn't really doing that well.
Speaker 4: So he comes over to me and he goes, yo,
Speaker 4: just do ten minutes. Just do ten minutes. Because he
Speaker 4: didn't know me, so he's like, just do ten minutes.
Speaker 4: And I was like, okay, well, no problem. And he
Speaker 4: was like, I pay you when you.
Speaker 1: Get off stage. So I was like, all right, all right.
Speaker 1: So I get on stage and I'm ripping, I'm destra
Speaker 1: roying ten minutes I got off.
Speaker 4: Why the fuck you get off stage? Why the fuck
Speaker 4: you get on stage? I say, dude, you told me,
Speaker 4: because he literally came.
Speaker 1: Up and said, I don't think I'm gonna have all
Speaker 1: the money. Just do ten minutes. So I was like,
Speaker 1: you just told me to do ten minutes. He's like, no,
Speaker 1: you were killing now. Fuck that fuck that, I'm not
Speaker 1: paying you.
Speaker 4: So I'm just like new to New York and I'm
Speaker 4: just like, dude, like and so.
Speaker 1: I go to rap and I was like, Yo, this
Speaker 1: motherfucker's not gonna pay me.
Speaker 4: You booked me? What the fuck right? And he was like,
Speaker 4: I'm talking to I don't know. I said the fuck.
Speaker 4: So I called Rob Stapleton. I love Rob Stapleton. Rob
Speaker 4: Stapleson called Big Beff, and I don't know where Biff
Speaker 4: is now today, but he called Big Beff and they
Speaker 4: got out that car.
Speaker 1: Big Bes's hand was around that promoter's next so fast.
Speaker 4: He was like and then he was like, you're gonna
Speaker 4: do a fucking female like that motherfucker you And he
Speaker 4: was like, nah, dude, it wasn't like that. She just
Speaker 4: wasn't patient enough to wait for me my fucking money,
Speaker 4: Like like like real talk. They do think that they
Speaker 4: can pump punk people. I had a lot of had
Speaker 4: a lot of promotions in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: Oh so when you're paying at my money? So, so
Speaker 1: how much I owe you?
Speaker 4: I only owe you six hundred, No, you owe me
Speaker 4: eleven hundred keep counting. Okay, no ride to the airport
Speaker 4: like shit like that. Oh no, I have been left
Speaker 4: at venues. Oh car leaving. Okay, I'm the female. You
Speaker 4: should wait for the female. Oh they went back to
Speaker 4: the hotel.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 4: Oh no, it's a lot of shit. And that's that's
Speaker 4: why I always say now because I'm sure, sure it's
Speaker 4: a little different now because women do speak up. But
Speaker 4: I always tell male comedians when you're on the road
Speaker 4: with a female, fucking look out for her. Look out
Speaker 4: for her, because like I know a lot of female
Speaker 4: comedians that's been raped, that's been fucking like hurt, beat up,
Speaker 4: slapped by other comedians and you know who you are, dang.
Speaker 4: Real talk like it's like it's another battle. It's another
Speaker 4: battle because we are women. But like I said, I'm
Speaker 4: a big six feet you know. She got to go
Speaker 4: on like five minutes.
Speaker 2: Okay. A couple of questions from the book.
Speaker 5: You wrote your first joke in ninety seven, right, but
Speaker 5: didn't use it until twenty ten.
Speaker 2: Why weren't you confident in performing that material.
Speaker 4: It wasn't my first joke, it was my first real joke. Okay,
Speaker 4: So because the same thing with Jamie said, you won't
Speaker 4: have enough skill to tell that joke yet, you know,
Speaker 4: or you don't like after and it's real talk. After
Speaker 4: my parents passed away, after my brother, after my brother died,
Speaker 4: that's when I was like, I'm doing all that shit.
Speaker 4: So it's like you have to have some type of
Speaker 4: hunger too, and you are talented enough to do your material.
Speaker 4: But there are some jokes that are more advanced when
Speaker 4: you write it.
Speaker 1: That you got.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna do that in a couple of years,
Speaker 4: or either you're gonna give it to someone else. But
Speaker 4: my first real joke was from a bad date and
Speaker 4: I was sitting in the middle of the living room
Speaker 4: eating cold Chinese food. And I had three bad dates
Speaker 4: in a row that week. So I was sitting there
Speaker 4: and I was like, this is some bullshit. Like back
Speaker 4: in the slave days, I'm like a man dingo. I
Speaker 4: would have all of the good all a good dick
Speaker 4: I would have. I would never be single. I would
Speaker 4: never fucking.
Speaker 1: Be single, Like I just wouldn't Like I would.
Speaker 4: Get all the denzels, I would get all the shacks,
Speaker 4: I would get Kimbo slice and then every nine months
Speaker 4: I'm like, I.
Speaker 1: Just wouldn't be single. I would my card would be full.
Speaker 1: You know, look at my.
Speaker 2: Teeth, So you got teeth, look.
Speaker 4: Nice teeth, and you know I'm gonna you know, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna have kids with good teeth.
Speaker 2: So you in the book with Welcome to my funeral.
Speaker 4: Because I mean, how every time you see a celebrity funeral,
Speaker 4: don't you go they didn't plan that, like they had
Speaker 4: Rea Aretha and Whitney's funeral was so long. Jesus was like,
Speaker 4: why they not here yet? So I specifically wrote how
Speaker 4: I want my fucking funeral, you know, just I just
Speaker 4: you know, that's how I want my funeral. If you're
Speaker 4: gonna have a long funeral, let's make it a goddamn event.
Speaker 1: And I've always wanted to be.
Speaker 7: Burnt like a warrior, you mean created, cremated, Nope, burnt
Speaker 7: like a warrior, like with the arrows, like you know
Speaker 7: how they make that spiff and Game of Thrones and
Speaker 7: then they put you on.
Speaker 1: The top and they said the evault. That's exactly how
Speaker 1: I want to go.
Speaker 3: Why not, motherfucker, they don't do that?
Speaker 4: Why exactly, don't give a fuck my goddamn wishes like
Speaker 4: keen taking this motherfucker and I want a biscuit, walk
Speaker 4: in with some dragon eggs and come out with dragons.
Speaker 5: Now, I know you got to go, but are you
Speaker 5: going to be the host of the daily You're doing
Speaker 5: it all next week?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: And don't you tell me you want? I mean that
Speaker 2: something you would.
Speaker 1: Want, you know what, I'm not gonna lie. I think
Speaker 1: I'd be pretty good at it.
Speaker 4: And I think I think Nighttime is ready for a
Speaker 4: black woman, ready for one that's ready to to to
Speaker 4: to go do it, because I feel like I've been
Speaker 4: built for that ship. Like I call myself the two
Speaker 4: thousand year old woman because I've been through every decade.
Speaker 4: But I feel like they need somebody who is can
Speaker 4: bring joy and bring laughter, and and and and inform
Speaker 4: people in a way that they like take their medicine with.
Speaker 4: It's time to bring some laughter back to life.
Speaker 1: Period.
Speaker 4: It's time for everybody to stop being so fucking offended.
Speaker 4: How about this is what I want to say. Everybody
Speaker 4: has been acting for the last five years like a
Speaker 4: motherfucking five year old. Everybody needs to stop the what
Speaker 4: about me shit because it's just starting to become ridiculous
Speaker 4: at this point, and grow the fuck up, Grow the
Speaker 4: fuck up. I am sick of it, y'all, sick of it.
Speaker 4: And you know, you, you know, you know you're showing
Speaker 4: your ass. Act like a motherfucking grown up. You know
Speaker 4: what's right, you know what's wrong. Stop acting like a fucking.
Speaker 1: Five year old. And that's what our society is acting
Speaker 1: right like now.
Speaker 4: And you know, like everybody in here know, it'd always
Speaker 4: be a black woman that come and go knock it.
Speaker 2: All, fix it. That's right.
Speaker 4: It was Esomer, Nail Carter, Oprah Winfrey. You know, we
Speaker 4: got all our sisters that came in. Just let's get
Speaker 4: this ship right back. What y'all doing and allow you
Speaker 4: the platform to do that. Man, Yes, Like I like
Speaker 4: the peace on therapy, I want to I feel like
Speaker 4: I want to talk to men too, and like I'm
Speaker 4: gonna give y'all so much permission to fucking learn and
Speaker 4: advance to where we are as women, Like we doing
Speaker 4: the work. Men are not doing the work. And I'm
Speaker 4: gonna say it, y'all not doing the work. And let
Speaker 4: me just say this too, y'all don't know shit about pussy.
Speaker 4: It's one of your favorite things. It's one of your
Speaker 4: favorite things. You don't know shit. I don't understand how
Speaker 4: you don't know shit about pussy or if your dick.
Speaker 1: Is working properly.
Speaker 2: What should we know to go to?
Speaker 4: First of all, go to the doctor, put your nuts
Speaker 4: in a doctor's hand, and cough to the fucking left.
Speaker 1: Find out what's wrong with your dick. First. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of no. I'm being very honest.
Speaker 4: I've been hooking up and dudes, dicks are not working properly.
Speaker 1: Y'all didn ate all that fucking McDonald's and all that shit.
Speaker 4: You ain't drinking water, You're not fucking taking care of yourself,
Speaker 4: and that's your dick. That's like one of your prize possessions.
Speaker 4: You go get your con check. You won't get your
Speaker 4: dick check, damn, and then get mad at us when
Speaker 4: your dick don't work. Don't get mad at me. That's
Speaker 4: your department. That's your department. That's go get your dick
Speaker 4: check and then and then go get your mind check.
Speaker 4: Stop showing up to tender dates expecting me to solve
Speaker 4: your fucking dilemma.
Speaker 1: I show up for dick and you throw me at
Speaker 1: ruper's que of your.
Speaker 4: Fucked up ass shit like I don't know why your
Speaker 4: daddy don't love you.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: Your mind affects your dick. It affects your dick. It
Speaker 4: affects your dick. Do you think you're gonna be walking
Speaker 4: around sad and depressed and your dick is just gonna
Speaker 4: be out out here Wiley, No, it's not.
Speaker 1: It's sad like you, So take care of your dick.
Speaker 1: I really believe.
Speaker 4: That's a lot of problems with these with these podcast
Speaker 4: dudes and these passport bros. Y'all don't know how to
Speaker 4: fuck a woman correctly, and then when she tell you
Speaker 4: that now she ain't shit.
Speaker 1: No, go learn how to fuck. I bet you'll solved
Speaker 1: a lot of problems.
Speaker 4: Between us because y'all don't know how to.
Speaker 1: Fuck, and you're mad because we do.
Speaker 2: This is the best mental health promo.
Speaker 4: I'm being honest with you. I am being so honest.
Speaker 4: I really believe that a lot of friction is now.
Speaker 4: Women are going we are tired of bad sex, and
Speaker 4: we're tired of being quiet about bad sex.
Speaker 1: I had some bad sex two nights ago.
Speaker 4: I told you at the RITZ. I told that motherfucker
Speaker 4: to get the fuck out. How damn you fuck me
Speaker 4: like that at the Ritz God damn, the goddamn Empire
Speaker 4: State Building is right there. How you fucked me like
Speaker 4: that in front of the Empire State Building? The fuck
Speaker 4: out of here, poor guy.
Speaker 2: Well, at least it ain't no surprise. You're not hearing
Speaker 2: this for the first time.
Speaker 1: Trust me, Jesus, you know who you are.
Speaker 2: Leslie Jones, get her book right now. Sure you watch
Speaker 2: her on the Daily Show all next week in the
Speaker 2: Daily Show.
Speaker 1: And to that gentleman she's talking about, go get therapy.
Speaker 1: You're gonna need all that.
Speaker 2: Where did they find you, Leslie? At Let's Dog?
Speaker 1: Yes, at Let's Dog.
Speaker 4: I think it's like four g's on Instagram, three g's
Speaker 4: on Twitter.
Speaker 1: And what I used to say is, why is that?
Speaker 1: Because I'm a motherfucking g.
Speaker 2: That's right in the book. The book available everywhere else.
Speaker 4: Yes, audio is kicking because the audio is different because
Speaker 4: I don't really read it.
Speaker 1: I just tell the stories. So it's really good.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So if you just don't want to read, you
Speaker 4: should read That's right. You should read Learned How to
Speaker 4: Curse Off right too.
Speaker 2: It's Leslie Joey fucking Jones.
Speaker 1: It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, yeah, up in the morning.
Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club