Speaker 1: Today show is pre recorded.
Speaker 2: Y'all know what time y'all don't know y'all baby.
Speaker 1: At all at all. Don't given them black the bus bush.
Speaker 3: Yeah, listen to me to show.
Speaker 4: I don't joy.
Speaker 1: Ye joy they have.
Speaker 4: You got you.
Speaker 1: Turn love, turn.
Speaker 5: You got to turn, got to turn the mouth, turn
Speaker 5: you probably got to turn the mouth, turn out the money.
Speaker 1: Come come on you'll think that. Uh huh, I sure
Speaker 1: will come on and everybody, y'all listen to the voice.
Speaker 1: Come on, dig me now, one and only Steve Harvey
Speaker 1: got a radio show. Yep. Yeah. Sometimes all I can
Speaker 1: say yelp, Man, how far I've come is really unbelievable.
Speaker 1: But you know I finally figured it out. Man. God
Speaker 1: allowed me to have the life I've had so that
Speaker 1: I can become experienced at so many different things. And
Speaker 1: in this experience, when I'm talking and sharing with people,
Speaker 1: I will be able to relate to a lot of
Speaker 1: different circumstances, not exact, but just the circumstances.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: You know, if a person comes to me and they say, man,
Speaker 1: I've been down and out, Okay, well I know what
Speaker 1: that is. Man, I didn't I didn't have any direction, Okay,
Speaker 1: got that been there, man at one point in time. Man,
Speaker 1: I just kept piering mistake on top of mistake. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you know U. I think what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: say to everybody is when you're going through life and
Speaker 1: life is dealing the cards that it deals, I want
Speaker 1: you to understand that life deals everybody these cards. The
Speaker 1: disappointment card, the setback card, the failure card, the mishap card,
Speaker 1: the unexpected misery card. Everybody gonna get, the grief card,
Speaker 1: everybody gonna get, the rash of bad decision card, everybody
Speaker 1: gonna get them. Understand that going in that everybody is
Speaker 1: gonna get these cards is how you play them, though,
Speaker 1: you know, from time to time, one more time, it's
Speaker 1: how you play them.
Speaker 6: Uh you know.
Speaker 1: From time to time when I'm watching TV, I love
Speaker 1: to watch the World Series of Poker. I like watching
Speaker 1: poker tournaments on TV because it's really weird. What's happened
Speaker 1: to sport? To a poker they're actually trying to call
Speaker 1: it a sport, you know, And as to everyday guy
Speaker 1: that doesn't have to be athletically inclined to anything, who
Speaker 1: has a shot of winning a title if they play
Speaker 1: their cards right. The best poker players in the world
Speaker 1: don't have the best hands. They just make the best plays.
Speaker 1: I've seen guys win a hand with nine to two
Speaker 1: in they hand that's nothing, and win their hand because
Speaker 1: they knew the bluff, they knew the odds, they calculated risks,
Speaker 1: they made the stakes higher than the other person was
Speaker 1: willing to pay. They gave off the illusion that they
Speaker 1: had something with in actuality, they had nothing. So what
Speaker 1: I enjoy about poker and watching it is that these people,
Speaker 1: these people here, play the hand they dealt and it
Speaker 1: ain't always a good hand. But it ain't whether your
Speaker 1: hand is good. And it ain't whether you're gonna get
Speaker 1: dealt bad cards or not, because you're gonna get dealt
Speaker 1: some bad cars. Everybody ain't finna get two bullets in
Speaker 1: their hand. You ain't finna get two aces when you
Speaker 1: get dealt. Uh. You know, when you playing draw poker,
Speaker 1: some of your cards gonna be nothing, But you gotta
Speaker 1: turn that nothing into something. So when you get dealt
Speaker 1: these cards in life, it ain't the fact that you
Speaker 1: getting to keep getting them dealt. I was talking with
Speaker 1: a young person yesterday and we were talking and we
Speaker 1: keep having the same conversation over and over and over,
Speaker 1: and they could not understand why they were not moving forward.
Speaker 1: But I said, you don't understand. Every time we talk,
Speaker 1: we have the exact same conversation. It is simply because
Speaker 1: you keep getting your cards and you playing them the
Speaker 1: same way. See. Until you make a conscience, the conscious
Speaker 1: decision to do something different, the results will continue to
Speaker 1: be the same. See here's here's here's the way this works.
Speaker 1: When you're dealt to disappointments in life, it's how you
Speaker 1: handle the disappointments that determine their outcome and who you are.
Speaker 1: Because everybody gonna be disappointment, Everybody gonna lose a loved one,
Speaker 1: everybody gonna make a bad decision, everybody gonna end wake
Speaker 1: up one morning and have done something they regretted. Everybody
Speaker 1: gonna get caught at the wrong time. Every everybody gonna
Speaker 1: make a mistake. It ain't just you. That is how
Speaker 1: you play your cards when they get dealt to you,
Speaker 1: that determine who you are. Now, how do I play
Speaker 1: my cards better? First of all, it's a mindset. Quit
Speaker 1: looking at everything as just the end when it happens
Speaker 1: to you. Oh lord, woe is me? No everybody got
Speaker 1: your circumstances somewhere. It ain't old woe as me. It's
Speaker 1: hold on, man, okay, let me play this out to
Speaker 1: see how God done connected this to something else. See.
Speaker 1: Soon as a person have a setback, what's the first
Speaker 1: thing A lot of people do. They go straight negative.
Speaker 1: I can't see even get a break. I can't seem
Speaker 1: to move forward. Hold on, man, do you realize this
Speaker 1: could be connected to something? See you got to understand, man,
Speaker 1: that this thing is all connected. That you not having
Speaker 1: these mishaps and these spills and accidents and falls for
Speaker 1: no reason. It's so you can become experienced at them.
Speaker 1: So when he takes you to the next level, when
Speaker 1: it happens again, you have no how and how to
Speaker 1: handle it. If you keep throwing yourself off the cliff
Speaker 1: every time something happened, you just gonna be a cliff
Speaker 1: divil man, Stop tripping yourself out. I was talking to
Speaker 1: this young person, I kept saying, and you know what,
Speaker 1: they tried to tell me. I'm trying to stay positive.
Speaker 1: But the people around here they just killing that. Oh.
Speaker 1: I see. So when you learn something and you know something,
Speaker 1: you don't take ownership of it. You allow other people
Speaker 1: to come into what you know and believe and shake
Speaker 1: it loose from you. I don't care who you are.
Speaker 1: You not doing me like that. Here's a deal. I
Speaker 1: have a gift that was given to me from God.
Speaker 1: That is the gift of comedy. That's what I've done.
Speaker 1: I've made the bulk of my living on that skill set.
Speaker 1: Right there. There are comedians who are supposedly friends of mine,
Speaker 1: who I've worked with, who get around in huddles with
Speaker 1: one another and they say, man, Steve really ain't funny.
Speaker 1: I don't see what they be laughing at. He ain't
Speaker 1: funny to me. He wasn't the funniest king to me.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, you're irrelevant in this conversation because irregardless as
Speaker 1: to how you feel about me, there are people think
Speaker 1: that I'm knocked down kill over funny. But more importantly,
Speaker 1: I own the gift that God gave to me. I
Speaker 1: take ownership of his blessing. Cause you don't think it's so.
Speaker 1: You ain't taking that from me. Stop letting people steal, yojai.
Speaker 1: Stop letting people take what you're supposed to know. Look,
Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a kind person at heart. Man, You
Speaker 1: ain't nothing. Now you sitting here going, man, I guess
Speaker 1: I ain't. What's your tripping for? You are a kind person,
Speaker 1: own that take ownership of it. Stop letting things God
Speaker 1: has given you be taken away from others. The devil
Speaker 1: is a cold player, and he got cold players working
Speaker 1: for him, just shaking, just taking stuff from you. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm a hard worker. I really am intelligent. You stupid man.
Speaker 1: I thought I was a hard worker. Man. They came
Speaker 1: in here and said I was stupid. Man, I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing wrong. What excuse me? You're a
Speaker 1: very bright person. Hey, y'all take ownership. When God gives
Speaker 1: you something, blesses you with a gift, a talent, a
Speaker 1: skill set, a mindset.
Speaker 7: Own it.
Speaker 1: Don't let people come in here and take it from you.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 1: Okay, I probably shouldn't have went that.
Speaker 3: Morning.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, it's about to go down. What you're
Speaker 1: talking about, Steve, What I'm talking about every morning, the
Speaker 1: start of something grand, the start of something new, the
Speaker 1: start of something spectacular. You know what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: because it's about to happen to you, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1: It is on and cracking here we are the Steve
Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show. Give it to me, damn it, give
Speaker 1: it to me.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 1: Crazy? Whoa hey, you do can what what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: I can't stop him. I'm too much. They won't.
Speaker 2: Up shut up.
Speaker 1: Back then, they won't. That's the only thing. The only
Speaker 1: thing I miss about stand up is walking out gosh
Speaker 1: and walking off. Wow.
Speaker 3: What does that feel like.
Speaker 1: To make you feel? It's like it's the most incredible thing.
Speaker 1: Because as a stand up what can never replace stand up?
Speaker 1: It is simply the purest form of adelation that you
Speaker 1: can get from a crowd, because it's only a base
Speaker 1: on your ability to provide enjoyment for them. You're not
Speaker 1: you're not pulling at their hard strings. You're not you're
Speaker 1: not taking them back down memory lane with their favorite song.
Speaker 1: You're not doing sings. Ain't no such thing as a
Speaker 1: joke alone. Come on, come on, do this one with me, y'all.
Speaker 1: Two three people walk in the bar. Come on, you
Speaker 1: know it, everybody. Come on, black man, white man, Chinese man,
Speaker 1: Come on, y'all, y'all know this is a joker on
Speaker 1: It is none of that. It is the purest form
Speaker 1: of adolation that you can get from a crowd. And
Speaker 1: when you kill it, and I mean a ninety minute set,
Speaker 1: just you and you stand there for ninety minutes and
Speaker 1: you deliver gut wrenching laughter and you walk off. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Oh my god. It is unbelievable. It is unbelievable, man.
Speaker 1: And when you do it well, and then to top
Speaker 1: all of that off, God has giving you the incredible
Speaker 1: gifts that you can earn a living at it. Oh man,
Speaker 1: oh man, oh man, I missed that too, man, Wow
Speaker 1: Jesus clad applause. So let me just say quickly, good
Speaker 1: morning to everybody on the show.
Speaker 3: Thank you, yeah you right now, good morning.
Speaker 5: Give it.
Speaker 1: One more time, give it to me. Let's clap it out.
Speaker 1: Let's just clap it all the way out today. Let
Speaker 1: me set up the show for you. Keep on day,
Speaker 1: don't stop. We got the clo coming up. We got
Speaker 1: oh oh, we all know we be back. Just show
Speaker 1: give it to me day. You're listening.
Speaker 3: Morning show.
Speaker 7: At the Salvation Army. Love gives beyond situation and season.
Speaker 7: While lights are sparkling and temperatures are dropping, you can
Speaker 7: be the difference for a family in need right in
Speaker 7: your local community, your donation puts presents under the treat
Speaker 7: today and food on the.
Speaker 1: Table all year long. By dialing pound.
Speaker 7: Two fifty on your phone and saying the key word
Speaker 7: the Salvation Army at the prompt, you'll have the opportunity
Speaker 7: to receive a one time autodial text message from I
Speaker 7: heard media that leaks to a donation form help a
Speaker 7: neighbor in need through the holidays and beyond.
Speaker 3: All right, it's time now to start your morning off
Speaker 3: with the nephew and run that brank back.
Speaker 6: What you got for is nef This right here, Shirley
Speaker 6: is baby chick babysit y'all.
Speaker 1: Probably y'all ain't used to seeing nothing like that, baby chick.
Speaker 1: You know about that. Let's go ketdough. We're gonna drop
Speaker 1: it on him, baby chick. Let's go. Thank you.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to reach Warren the manager. He is, which
Speaker 4: is wa thank you for calling. Are you the manager there?
Speaker 8: Yes, sir?
Speaker 4: Your name Warren?
Speaker 8: Yes, sir?
Speaker 4: This is one Okay. I need to actually file a
Speaker 4: lawsuit on y'all, and I'm actually calling you first to
Speaker 4: let you know that I'm getting ready to file a
Speaker 4: lawsuit on the whole grocery store. Uh for what did
Speaker 4: happened to me?
Speaker 1: Sir?
Speaker 8: Tom Let me let me get hold on a second.
Speaker 8: So let me do this. Let me let me what
Speaker 8: what did you say?
Speaker 1: Your name was? My name is Evans.
Speaker 8: Evans is my name, so Evans is your last name.
Speaker 8: Let me let me write this down. And you came
Speaker 8: into my store?
Speaker 4: Did you have an accident in my store or something?
Speaker 8: I'm not exact to show what you're calling about.
Speaker 4: I ain't had no accident. What happened was I came
Speaker 4: in there yesterday and I bought a bunch of grocers
Speaker 4: that I bought a card in the eggs right now.
Speaker 4: When I got home, I was chicken to make sure
Speaker 4: the eggs didn't didn't break on the way home. When
Speaker 4: I got home, it was a baby chick inside the
Speaker 4: egg caught man, one of the eggs had it had
Speaker 4: hatch and got my kids traumatized. Now they don't even
Speaker 4: want to eat breakfast or nothing around here because it's
Speaker 4: a baby chick play inside caught the eggs.
Speaker 9: That don't make no sense, man, sir, I don't mean
Speaker 9: to let me.
Speaker 8: Can you tell me it was a chicken, a baby chicken,
Speaker 8: actual chicken.
Speaker 4: In the baby chick inside the carton the eggs. Man,
Speaker 4: you got my kids traumatized. Man, don't nobody want nothing.
Speaker 4: You got eggs.
Speaker 8: If you just feel it, don't move out here, because
Speaker 8: if you're just calmed down for one second, listen.
Speaker 4: What I told y'all, put that chicken down in there.
Speaker 4: Put it down. You might have Rayze say what.
Speaker 8: I don't even think that that's possible. First of all,
Speaker 8: if you had any idea how this thing comes from
Speaker 8: the farm to the store, it is they go over
Speaker 8: these eggs a countless summer times, and the temperat and
Speaker 8: the phraser, first of all, wouldn't even allow for a
Speaker 8: chicken to be alive if you had a baby.
Speaker 4: I don't know I did this this one. I don't
Speaker 4: know how this one got tasked the system, okay, But
Speaker 4: what I do know is we got a baby chick
Speaker 4: over here running around because the odd show ain't doing
Speaker 4: what you're supposed to do. Man, and I got it,
Speaker 4: And now my kids are traumatized behind this.
Speaker 9: When did you say you in here?
Speaker 4: So I was in there yesterday. I bought the eggs yesterday.
Speaker 8: Man, down here at Alm.
Speaker 4: Street, Yes, I bought them. I said the grocery store.
Speaker 4: I sure did.
Speaker 8: Okay, let's do this. Why don't you bring me eggs
Speaker 8: into me and the chick?
Speaker 4: So now you want me to transport a baby chick
Speaker 4: back to the grocery store. I almost look we already
Speaker 4: traumatized over here, already behind this dog on baby chick.
Speaker 8: Man, I'm not I'm not exactly sure what you are
Speaker 8: trying to pull here, but I just don't I don't
Speaker 8: think why.
Speaker 9: First of all, any anyone or.
Speaker 8: Common sense will tell you that that's not possible. First
Speaker 8: of all, you can't have a baby chick living in
Speaker 8: a in a dozen eggs.
Speaker 9: There is no possible way that this.
Speaker 8: The temperature and my freezers are right above freezing. There's
Speaker 8: no chickens or fragile creature in the first place. You
Speaker 8: can't have a little bird that is not gonna survive
Speaker 8: the transport from the farm to the factory to my store.
Speaker 9: I'm not getting the look.
Speaker 4: Hey, hey, hey, I'm not gonna go back and forth
Speaker 4: with you shit you him boy.
Speaker 8: If you want to bring me a dozen eggs, bring
Speaker 8: the dozen eggs in if you can catch the chick,
Speaker 8: catch a chick.
Speaker 4: Hey man, you okay, you're just supposed to be the manager.
Speaker 4: You're not supposed to talk to me like that.
Speaker 8: So I'm a'll tell you as politely as possible if
Speaker 8: you want to bring in the leven eggs and a chick,
Speaker 8: I will gladly in front of your money, give you
Speaker 8: another car ass whatever.
Speaker 4: You want to do.
Speaker 9: But I'm not even know you what I want to have.
Speaker 4: But I'm got all a lawsuit because y'all have traumatize
Speaker 4: me and my kids.
Speaker 8: Sir, listen, all right, let's just bring this down a lossuit, sir,
Speaker 8: over a dozen eggs old.
Speaker 4: A dozen eggs that gotta baby chick in it.
Speaker 8: Man, So let me take your phone number as some information,
Speaker 8: and I'll talk to my manager and we will figure
Speaker 8: this thing out for you, because I just I just
Speaker 8: don't believe that this would be possible.
Speaker 4: I just I don't understand how you would have a
Speaker 4: Chicklet just leave them over there, don't touch the chicken.
Speaker 8: I just don't believe that this because possibly be happy.
Speaker 8: So this is it's unbereigualab to me to even get this.
Speaker 4: Something, sir. I don't have time to go back and
Speaker 4: forth with you about how something happened. All I know
Speaker 4: is it may be it's some fluit accident, Okay, but
Speaker 4: it happened. My kids are over here playing with a
Speaker 4: baby chick, and I'm traumatized. I don't even want to
Speaker 4: ever have breakfast up again. And I'm over to make show.
Speaker 4: I file a lawsuit on your store, and your show.
Speaker 9: Me I acertain anything to do with me. I didn't
Speaker 9: do anything.
Speaker 8: Except come into rus today. You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 9: If you wanna found a.
Speaker 4: Lost okay, I don't file a lawsuit. I'm found lost
Speaker 4: on the grocery store, and I'm filing a lawsuit on
Speaker 4: the manager, Warren, Which is your for giving me a
Speaker 4: hard time about what I'm telling you that happen.
Speaker 9: You don't even got a hard time out of me
Speaker 9: like you I'm saying. I'm saying you are a hard time.
Speaker 9: Comes down here with that day.
Speaker 4: I'm bringing the bag down here, and I'm bringing that
Speaker 4: baby chick back down there. I'm bringing all of it said.
Speaker 8: I'd like to see it said, how much did you
Speaker 8: pay for those days?
Speaker 4: I paid by two dollars. It ain't about how much
Speaker 4: I'm paid for the egg. It's what you have trauma tized.
Speaker 9: Yeah, because I don't give you just that much back
Speaker 9: of that. When you get here, you want to say,
Speaker 9: I don't give it.
Speaker 8: I'm go tousches out.
Speaker 9: Here and line the gemin prooper off my chickens and
Speaker 9: now something drop some telephone talking about some chicken and
Speaker 9: a grabbing egg.
Speaker 4: Okay, well let me let me tell you this too.
Speaker 4: Do you have a guy that works at the checkout
Speaker 4: name Tyrant?
Speaker 10: Yes?
Speaker 4: Okay, Tyrants got me the play p one call you.
Speaker 4: This is Nephew tire Me from the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4: One Y just gotta pray.
Speaker 5: What.
Speaker 8: Who's kidding you?
Speaker 4: Ay?
Speaker 9: And look, man, how need come old chicken? Chicken's going
Speaker 9: through egg?
Speaker 4: Man?
Speaker 9: Man, I'm not I say that all I got people
Speaker 9: looking at me in this store like I'm crazy.
Speaker 4: Hey, one, I gotta ask you, man, what is it
Speaker 4: bad that? I mean, the baddest radio show in the land.
Speaker 8: Man, it's the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 4: You check out God, Tyring he got your bad.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I'm gonna get him too. I'm gonna put it
Speaker 8: back in produce. I'm gonna take him off the register,
Speaker 8: get him stack in ag.
Speaker 4: There you go.
Speaker 1: I'm all right, all right? You are you coming up?
Speaker 1: Naxt and is Ask the CLO.
Speaker 3: Our Chief Love Officer, Steve Harvey is in the building
Speaker 3: right after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
Speaker 3: All right, guys, time now for Ask the CLO. Go
Speaker 3: to Steve Harvey FM dot com to submit your question
Speaker 3: for our Chief Love Officer, Steve Harvey.
Speaker 1: Ready CLO. One time, Here we go.
Speaker 3: This one is from Monette in Alabama. Money says, I'm
Speaker 3: a twenty eight year old professional female and the love
Speaker 3: of my life is twenty nine. We are living proof
Speaker 3: that opposites a track. He's got his ged and he
Speaker 3: makes a great living as a construction worker. He cleans
Speaker 3: up nicely, and he is fine. There are two things
Speaker 3: that concern me.
Speaker 1: He uses street.
Speaker 3: Slang all the time, and I try not to correct
Speaker 3: him because it usually starts an argument. The other problem
Speaker 3: is that he's not open to try new things. So
Speaker 3: if we eat out, he gets chicken tenders or a burger.
Speaker 1: Are these big issues? Or am I being shallow? You
Speaker 1: be a real shallow shallow. You just said the love
Speaker 1: of your life man and your dreams opposite is a tract.
Speaker 1: He got a ged, This is his world, This is
Speaker 1: how he talked. Now he can get better, but when
Speaker 1: he go out, he go what's safe? See see, let
Speaker 1: me tell you this. So a lot of times people
Speaker 1: don't want to They don't like to embarrass himself by
Speaker 1: trying something. Can't pronounce it, don't know what it is,
Speaker 1: I ain't ever had. It might cost too much. So now,
Speaker 1: but where is it y'all going to? Everywhere y'all go?
Speaker 1: They got chicken tims. You might, he continues, ain't on
Speaker 1: the menu. You might can get him to try something else.
Speaker 1: So women oftentimes make their men better. Yes, So take
Speaker 1: him to different places, and you know, say, just you know,
Speaker 1: have him try some stuff on your plate. You know,
Speaker 1: let him get the chicken where he feels safe and comfortable.
Speaker 1: Then let him try some stuff on your plate. You
Speaker 1: may have a great you probably got a great guy him,
Speaker 1: but you'll let it dude go because he talks slave.
Speaker 3: No, that's true, all right, Tammy and Saint Louis says,
Speaker 3: I started a new job a month ago, and I
Speaker 3: worked with a lot of women, so I knew there'd
Speaker 3: be drama. Yesterday, on my way to lunch, my neighbor's
Speaker 3: fiance pulled up and I waved at him. As I
Speaker 3: walked by, one of my coworkers got in his car,
Speaker 3: They kissed and drove off. When I came back, the
Speaker 3: same coworker came to my office to tell me I
Speaker 3: better not tell my neighbor what I saw or she
Speaker 3: would slap the urine out of me. Let's say, I
Speaker 3: wanted to snatch her ponytail off, but I kept my
Speaker 3: cool going forward?
Speaker 1: How should I deal with her? Wow?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 6: What?
Speaker 4: What? What? What?
Speaker 1: There's nothing for you to do. It's absolutely nothing for
Speaker 1: you to do except say, listen to me. First of all,
Speaker 1: I'm not in your beer since you do what you
Speaker 1: want to do. But secondly, you're not finish slap me. Ever,
Speaker 1: I want you to understand that. Ever, yeah, behind now
Speaker 1: you don't don't worry about what I might say. But
Speaker 1: please do not think that I'm the person you're gonna
Speaker 1: walk over here and slap because I'm not. You could
Speaker 1: do whatever you want to do. I don't give a
Speaker 1: damn right. She's a bully. Come you run your ass
Speaker 1: over here on me. Yeah, I'm gonna whoop your ass.
Speaker 1: Did tell her?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 1: Really? Wow? Work with it though, but you're gonna do
Speaker 1: something wrong. And then threaten somebody man. Yes, right now,
Speaker 1: you should be a little more discreet with your chi
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 3: Anonymous in Florida says, I'm a thirty year old single
Speaker 3: female and I work as a dental assistant for a
Speaker 3: prominent black dentist. For the past three years, we've been
Speaker 3: having an affair and he takes good care of me.
Speaker 3: He's my dad's age, and my parents are friendly with
Speaker 3: him and his wife. My parents have a big wedding
Speaker 3: anniversary dinner planned and the dentist is coming with his wife.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be around his wife, so I
Speaker 3: asked him not to show up. He said, his wife
Speaker 3: is looking forward to it, so they're coming. Why would
Speaker 3: he hurt me this way?
Speaker 1: That's her letter. Yeah, that's her question. How you think
Speaker 1: as the number two, you ain't gonna get hurt? But
Speaker 1: they all let your parents excuse me. He can't put
Speaker 1: you in front of his wife, right, His wife want
Speaker 1: to go. She looking forward to because they're cool with
Speaker 1: your parents. He coming, He coming with her? Yeah, thirty
Speaker 1: year old gotta grow up. All you gotta do is
Speaker 1: pop in and say hey and then disappear if you
Speaker 1: don't want to see it. Yeah, she can't anniversary. Okay,
Speaker 1: then sit down and deal with it. Three years. Look,
Speaker 1: you have been screwing this woman's husband for three years.
Speaker 1: That is a cost to that. And now you finish
Speaker 1: find out who got deals. Oh, he take good care
Speaker 1: of you. Ain't no problem. You can get taken care
Speaker 1: of But he got to take care of his house too.
Speaker 3: But you know what, Steve, she sounds too like she
Speaker 3: might do something stupid at this dinner, you know, like
Speaker 3: call him out or try to get him in trouble
Speaker 3: with his wife or something.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know why you do that. You been
Speaker 1: knowing the man was married. Yeah, See, when you play,
Speaker 1: when you play the dirty game, you got to be
Speaker 1: ready now to get some dirt on you, get some
Speaker 1: dirt on you. But but but the ain't no need
Speaker 1: to you snap it, won't You just find your own man? Yeah? Right, right?
Speaker 1: A date? But you stupid? So you just been seeing him,
Speaker 1: So he been seeing her and you you stupid. If
Speaker 1: you're gonna play the game, you know the rules. He
Speaker 1: takes really good care of me, Okay, cool, Just got
Speaker 1: to take good care of you.
Speaker 3: He's your dad's age, they're friends. He's got to come
Speaker 3: to the wedding anniversary. He has to think he's not coming,
Speaker 3: will find this out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta be cool, like you gotta get another job.
Speaker 1: There a dentists out there and another man. That's all
Speaker 1: all you gotta do is get another man. Yeah.
Speaker 3: He takes such good care of me.
Speaker 1: Okay, but he takes better care of his wife. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Yeah, I just got real up in here.
Speaker 3: She doesn't want to be around his wife, so she
Speaker 3: asked him not to show up. That's just crazy. How
Speaker 3: will he not show up to his friend's anniversary dinner?
Speaker 3: That doesn't even make sense. Then they'll really suspect something.
Speaker 3: The number two don't get to vote, make any demands.
Speaker 3: All right, thank you, Clo. Great advice is always.
Speaker 1: You're listening.
Speaker 3: Morning show, all right, Steve. So you went on to
Speaker 3: tell us this roach story that I've never heard before
Speaker 3: in my life by roaches, So you have another one
Speaker 3: for it.
Speaker 1: Tell you about this girl I was dating that had
Speaker 1: all these votures and it was in infestation. She lost,
Speaker 1: She was fine, and you know, wasn't no cell phones
Speaker 1: back then. So my boy Biggie Wig. I told Biggie
Speaker 1: Wig to come and pick me up at a certain
Speaker 1: amount of time. I said, as a matter of fact,
Speaker 1: weig got called all you at your house if something
Speaker 1: changed thirty minutes before one o'clock and let you know
Speaker 1: if I need a little bit more time or nothing.
Speaker 1: So are we in there? We're playing cards. Roaches is
Speaker 1: every it's lights on anyway, It ain't nobody, ain't none
Speaker 1: of them Russian. But this way they stay. You're playing cards,
Speaker 1: and I know it's too many of them, many humans.
Speaker 1: And I done got up off the couch to play
Speaker 1: cards because I just they was on the couch, they
Speaker 1: was on the coffee table, They walked across TV screen,
Speaker 1: They was just everywhere. So I figure, at least let
Speaker 1: me set up in a wooden shell with four legs
Speaker 1: on it the least amount of exposure. Already, got cuffs
Speaker 1: in these bail bottoms I got. I got the damn
Speaker 1: near make coolocks out of these tirs. I took them
Speaker 1: because I got them two inch cuffs in these bail bottoms.
Speaker 1: I know they in here, Yeah, I don't get the
Speaker 1: hell well they in here? Yeah, they looking for a route.
Speaker 1: Some of they're just playing cards. The coroaches everywhere. I'm
Speaker 1: just flicking them, you know, just flicking them off with
Speaker 1: the cars and hands coming. And the girl's sisters was
Speaker 1: real nice. They was hood, but they were some nice girl.
Speaker 1: But lord, them girls talk trash when they play cards.
Speaker 1: So we're at we just accustoming each other. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I've been. I've never been more bees according to women,
Speaker 1: the same. Look at you, little skinny Bee. What you're
Speaker 1: gonna do?
Speaker 3: Be?
Speaker 1: So I'm in there. So we just talking trash. So
Speaker 1: I look up at the clock and I said, let
Speaker 1: me go on in here and call Bee and tell
Speaker 1: him I be ready. About one thirty something happened. Man,
Speaker 1: I forgot the call. These roaches. It's one am now
Speaker 1: day in full blast. I don't know what it is
Speaker 1: about one am. Yeah, but roaches.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's clubs.
Speaker 1: They was all out for dinner that night, was strolling.
Speaker 1: They was with their families. You know, we were playing music.
Speaker 1: So they was out at the club. The club that
Speaker 1: was going to dinner. I was in the park. I
Speaker 1: don't know what be happening. Roaches was everywhere I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Listen to me when I tell y'all, there was nowhere
Speaker 1: you could look and you didn't see a roach. Wow.
Speaker 1: So cool. All of a sudden the doe bell ring
Speaker 1: and her sister jump up and said, I got it.
Speaker 1: We're playing spade. So it was my plate. So I said,
Speaker 1: I got to get to this dough because I got
Speaker 1: to tell this fool, biggie wig big when you come
Speaker 1: in here, listen, they got a roach problem. I like
Speaker 1: the girl. Don't embarrass her, Just act like you don't
Speaker 1: see him. I had a whole speech, was matter of
Speaker 1: fact when I called him thirty minutes before. I was
Speaker 1: gonna tell it because he a good brother. But when
Speaker 1: you don't want him though, there wasn't no Texan, ain't
Speaker 1: no cell phone. I just didn't got So next thing
Speaker 1: I know, she at the door. So by the time
Speaker 1: I make my plate, all I hear is at the door. Damn,
Speaker 1: he's there. He's there. And then and it's all you here.
Speaker 1: He out there in the foyier, just stomping. I'm stealing,
Speaker 1: and I'm standing there just looking at it, and the
Speaker 1: and the sisters is mortified because he in here. I'm talking, God,
Speaker 1: nothing here. I only want see them and y'all don't
Speaker 1: see the man's baggety breaks is everywhere. God, they wonder
Speaker 1: loud that he calling me. I'm six ft away, but
Speaker 1: it's dog. He'll see. They weren't aloud. I'm just sitting here,
Speaker 1: man like man, you don't stop. And so he's shaking
Speaker 1: his coat, flipping his collar, he knocking them off the wall.
Speaker 1: He'd have pulled his hat off. Now he got a
Speaker 1: gangster brill, right, and a Mexico. So he pulls his
Speaker 1: hat off, and he was, man, they're all on the wall. Man,
Speaker 1: these mother blake is everywhere. Maybe I don't see this.
Speaker 1: He steady asking them, girl, y'all don't see this. I'm
Speaker 1: standing there with my arms folded, just humiliated. A roach
Speaker 1: fell off the ceiling and landed on his ears. God,
Speaker 1: he reached out with blady, Man, these mother blake's excepting
Speaker 1: where shot? And I'm just standing there looking at him.
Speaker 1: And then heal money off you here. I just went
Speaker 1: on and told the girl. I said, I said, hey,
Speaker 1: excuse me, hey, let me give me a coat.
Speaker 6: What you do?
Speaker 1: It was the end that was, And I kissed the
Speaker 1: girl on the cheek. I tell big, I said, come on, man,
Speaker 1: let's go.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, man, damn love, I know how you're sitting
Speaker 1: up in here. You see these man mahamma, over there,
Speaker 1: head down, everybody head because he'd have made a sing.
Speaker 1: So we get out to the car. So we standing
Speaker 1: at the door. He said, look, you're good, I said, big,
Speaker 1: you have to make all that man. Damn that man.
Speaker 1: Let's shake off man, he said, hey, and flip your
Speaker 1: cuss and your bell walking. No good? Hell, well here,
Speaker 1: so we outside. Damn there undressed. I just got the
Speaker 1: voevo dog. I can't get nothing in that. That was
Speaker 1: then over at the girl's house with the roaches.
Speaker 3: All right, all right, we'll have more of the Steve
Speaker 3: Harvey Morning Show coming up right after this. You're listening
Speaker 3: Harvey Morning Show. All right, guys, it's time for a
Speaker 3: round of would you rather? Would you rather play golf
Speaker 3: with your buddies or go fishing with your wife?
Speaker 1: I could do eas with Marjorie all the time. She
Speaker 1: don't listen. Hey, she already knows how to fish. Listen.
Speaker 1: She can't fish good as me. If she can catch
Speaker 1: fish for she end up getting it off and all
Speaker 1: that odds. Tomorrow, Steve, I can't get this along. Use
Speaker 1: your plies, baby, were on Instagram. I'm gonna look at it.
Speaker 1: Look it up. I know I said, baby, use your plies.
Speaker 1: That's Steve. I can't get to use your plies. Baby.
Speaker 1: I bought your fly. I bought I bought you some
Speaker 1: mess club. All you gotta do is get your applies out.
Speaker 1: You be done with this. You finished. Kill it. Damn fish,
Speaker 1: that is the objective. So you can get him, right,
Speaker 1: we throw fish back. We don't do that. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: you don't eat them. I'm gonna play golf with the boys. Okay.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you change your mind because at first you said
Speaker 7: either either world.
Speaker 1: But I haven't been fishing with Jay. She didn't hook
Speaker 1: my ass before. Oh man, oh.
Speaker 2: Wow that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm bleeding here, I'm emorrhaging. All right.
Speaker 3: Would you rather take cold showers for one month or
Speaker 3: only wash up for a month?
Speaker 1: Only wash up?
Speaker 4: What that? What?
Speaker 6: What you know?
Speaker 1: Just wash up? No shower, no bad?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, washing up. Yeah, I'm gonna take that
Speaker 1: wash up. That cold shower. Can't do it. Wash up.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stand in No way. They're supposed to stand
Speaker 1: for you. They not. Who told you that?
Speaker 3: This doctor they say that help with inflammation, all of that,
Speaker 3: they're good for you.
Speaker 1: It ain't that much inflammation. That's way too.
Speaker 3: Well, don't athletes take their things?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, all of that them athletes? We comedians, ain't we
Speaker 1: don't need that. You're not athletic comedian? Yeah, I got
Speaker 1: inflammation jokes. All right?
Speaker 3: Would you rather have Thanksgiving dinner naked with your family members?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Or would you rather have Thanksgiving dinner alone fully dressed.
Speaker 1: A long family? Him mama when him MoMA sitting up,
Speaker 1: I won't tell you it ain't away, Jackie. Ain't your
Speaker 1: hand up in there? Marjorie mama sitting over there?
Speaker 5: Nicked?
Speaker 1: No, No, we can't do this. Last one.
Speaker 3: Would you rather cry uncontrollably when you get aroused or
Speaker 3: not be able to talk at all when you get aroused?
Speaker 1: Which? Yeah? Either one? One bunch of.
Speaker 10: Show?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I'm beat. I just won't beat. I don't
Speaker 1: want to. I won't do to quiet crying interrupt your
Speaker 1: breathing pattern. I need to keep my breathing right. No,
Speaker 1: just give me to not talking? What is Tommy crying?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 11: Thanks?
Speaker 1: Show, don't tell a lot though.
Speaker 3: All right, we'll have more of the Steve Harvey Morning
Speaker 3: Show coming up right after this. You're listening Harvey Morning Show. Well,
Speaker 3: if you need help, this year with roasting a turkey
Speaker 3: for Thanksgiving dinner.
Speaker 1: Butter Ball has a solution for you.
Speaker 3: The one eight hundred Butterball Turkey Talk Line is open
Speaker 3: at your service with turkey experts that are ready to
Speaker 3: answer any questions you might have, including how to pick
Speaker 3: out a turkey to buy, how to cook it, and
Speaker 3: what to do with the leftovers?
Speaker 1: What is all that for it? They will all because
Speaker 1: I have two turkey experts on the show, Me and
Speaker 1: Tommy calling that thing in one eight hundred number four
Speaker 1: eating that dry ass piece of meat.
Speaker 3: Somebody calls in and wants to know how to make
Speaker 3: their turkey not dry?
Speaker 1: What do you get your ass? A butter Ball electric
Speaker 1: turkey fry and stuff. All the guests work out of
Speaker 1: this mess. Butterball makes them. They are at Target, they
Speaker 1: are at Walmart. It's four minutes per pound. Yep. You
Speaker 1: cut that thing on three seventy five when the green
Speaker 1: light come on. They've got a big basket that will
Speaker 1: hold up to a nineteen pound turkey. You put that
Speaker 1: turkey in that basket. I'll interject I inject mine so
Speaker 1: it'll be extra flavorful. Drop it down in there and
Speaker 1: close the lid. I ain't just at that time. For huh,
Speaker 1: go ahead, I inject two days before. That's good and
Speaker 1: marinades in that good. That's a good idea. I told
Speaker 1: you had two turkey experts on this show two days before.
Speaker 1: You do not drop your turkey in that if it
Speaker 1: is frozen, think how still gonna be hugged?
Speaker 6: Yes, take it out in morning and let it pretty
Speaker 6: much get room tempt and then drop it right before
Speaker 6: its dinner.
Speaker 1: Right? How long does it take?
Speaker 2: You said?
Speaker 1: Four minutes per pound? Four minutes per pound?
Speaker 3: Almost said four hours per pound. Okay, I should have
Speaker 3: That's why.
Speaker 1: Eat at your house. That's a dry ass turkey. You
Speaker 1: done burned all the damn meating flave off your damn turkey.
Speaker 1: I know you said for something I can't remember four hours.
Speaker 1: So you have fried your turkey for thirty nine hours.
Speaker 1: You got a jerky, you'll pull your youre you eating
Speaker 1: you eating jerk turkey. Who was these turkey professionals that
Speaker 1: are answering the phone? Who is that? Yeah? Well, I
Speaker 1: mean they're from Butterball.
Speaker 2: They're from Butterball one eight hundred.
Speaker 1: Butter Butterball has the best and fried turkey tastes way
Speaker 1: better it tastes way bars, it beats the oven, my fauck. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's hard to dry that turkey out because it seals
Speaker 1: it in with the crust on the chicken. It's just
Speaker 1: a better way to have turkey, y'all. I'm just telling you.
Speaker 1: You know, we've had it, but we do both ways.
Speaker 1: Every year we do fried turkey and roasted. Everybody like
Speaker 1: fried turky Yep, love turkey wings. Yeah, man, you don't
Speaker 1: you don't want. You don't want nobody in my family
Speaker 1: calling that line. It's gonna be many.
Speaker 6: Be calling in that butter Birker Butterball Turkey Talk last man,
Speaker 6: how y'all turn it on?
Speaker 1: Just plug it up? So click next call? All right,
Speaker 1: all right, this is what we're gonna do. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: the I'm the receptionist at the Butterball Turkey line. Y'all
Speaker 1: call in with questions.
Speaker 6: Go ahead, go all right, Hey, I got this fifteen
Speaker 6: pound turkey, and now can I stuff the turkey?
Speaker 1: And with some dress? I said? And then fried? Is
Speaker 1: that possible? Hell?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 1: Click next question? Listen, how you doing? I'm John. I'm
Speaker 1: just calling to ask listen, if you can get the turkey?
Speaker 1: Can we cut the turkey up and drop it in
Speaker 1: in pieces? Is that what we do? Yes, you could
Speaker 1: do that, but didn't we tell you to just drop
Speaker 1: it in that hole? Read the instructions. That's what the
Speaker 1: basket is for. Drop it in hole.
Speaker 6: Next caller, wh yeah, mister butter ball, let me ask
Speaker 6: some They got this little red thing on the turkey
Speaker 6: that pops. I guess I don't know what the little
Speaker 6: red button. Hell, but my little girl to pull that
Speaker 6: off of there? Do I need that?
Speaker 1: Well, won't be no red ball popping on your turkey
Speaker 1: this year. Thank you for calling. Next caller, how do
Speaker 1: I season my turkey?
Speaker 2: What do I season it with?
Speaker 1: You said right there, that's why your ass don't need
Speaker 1: to be cooking? Next callar, How long do I defrost
Speaker 1: my turkey? How excuse me till this Thalla coming up?
Speaker 1: Coming up?
Speaker 4: Thank you?
Speaker 1: Turkey talk line coming up. Ask the question day ain't
Speaker 1: got no time, no long answer that the nation. Thank
Speaker 1: you for calling the ball.
Speaker 3: We'll have more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show coming
Speaker 3: up right after this. You're listening Harvey Morning Show coming
Speaker 3: up at the top of the hour, right about four
Speaker 3: minutes after It's my strawberry letter for today, subject Thanksgiving surprise,
Speaker 3: and wait till you hear this Thanksgiving surprise. We'll get
Speaker 3: into it after after this, But right now the nephew
Speaker 3: is here with today's prank phone call.
Speaker 1: What you got for his nef Your wife is having
Speaker 1: a black baby?
Speaker 12: Yes, it right, I'm getting your wife, Yeah, is having
Speaker 12: a black baby?
Speaker 1: Lord, get on board. Now do you remember that scene
Speaker 1: in life when they were baby.
Speaker 6: Been locked before, ain't got no problem making no ju.
Speaker 3: Just then.
Speaker 1: Brady was classic.
Speaker 6: It is your wife having a black baby. Hello, Hello,
Speaker 6: I'm looking for a William.
Speaker 1: How you doing? Listen? My name is Simmons. I was
Speaker 1: I don't know how to uh oh man.
Speaker 6: My wife and I evidently go to the same uh
Speaker 6: fertility specialist that you and your wife go to doctor.
Speaker 1: Doctor you know? Are you familiar with doctor?
Speaker 11: I'm familiar with doctor. But that's supposed to be confidential.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm aware of that as well, well, Sir. My
Speaker 6: wife is out on business right now. She's she's gone
Speaker 6: for I won't be back until tuesday. But I got
Speaker 6: a call today, a very disturbing phone call, and wanted
Speaker 6: to you know, I looked your number up.
Speaker 1: They did tell me what was going on and kind
Speaker 1: of wanted to let somebody told.
Speaker 4: You my number?
Speaker 11: You got you got my number from somebody.
Speaker 1: No, I looked up your number. Uh here here it
Speaker 1: is in that show My wife and I.
Speaker 6: Evidently you and you and your wife have been going
Speaker 6: through the same type of problems of trying to get
Speaker 6: pregnant and so forth and so on, and uh, from
Speaker 6: my understanding, your wife is what four or five months pregnant.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure.
Speaker 11: Wait a minute, my wife is exactly five months pregnant.
Speaker 11: But I'm still confused on how you're getting in touch
Speaker 11: with me and what this has to do with me. Well,
Speaker 11: I mean, all that stuff that we've gone through is
Speaker 11: totally confidential, and I'm kind of offended that you're calling me.
Speaker 1: I understand that.
Speaker 6: Well, what's what's happening is I got a phone call
Speaker 6: from the doctor's office today. It seems like there's been
Speaker 6: a huge mistake by the doctor's Evidently your wife has
Speaker 6: been artificially.
Speaker 1: Inseminated with my seed. And I was.
Speaker 6: I mean, I'm just as disturbed as you are, you
Speaker 6: know what I mean, because I mean me and my
Speaker 6: wife are you know, my wife is too much pregnant
Speaker 6: and finally.
Speaker 11: How could they do something like that? I mean, that
Speaker 11: doesn't make any sense me, sir, I have no idea.
Speaker 1: All I know is is that you know.
Speaker 6: I hate to use the expression, but I'm I'm I'm
Speaker 6: your wife's baby's daddy.
Speaker 4: And and.
Speaker 11: No, okakay wait a minute, no, no, no, no, so.
Speaker 10: That't that doesn't.
Speaker 11: Happen, no way.
Speaker 6: So I'm trying to make sure I bring the news
Speaker 6: to you and see if there's anything that we can
Speaker 6: do to I mean, i mean, after being five months pregnant,
Speaker 6: it's kind of hard to rect to fight a problem.
Speaker 11: So I want this to sound rude, and I don't
Speaker 11: want to sound wrong. You said, baby daddy, are you black?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah black?
Speaker 11: And my wife is gonna have a black baby.
Speaker 6: Well yeah, your wife is gonna have a black baby.
Speaker 6: But what I want you to know is I'm not
Speaker 6: paying non support.
Speaker 4: That's what about child.
Speaker 10: Support, and my wife is having some other black dude's kid.
Speaker 11: Are you crazy?
Speaker 1: No, I'm not. No, I'm not out of my mind.
Speaker 6: I'm just saying I didn't lay down and conceive a
Speaker 6: child with your with your wife. So I'm making sure
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna be paying enough child support.
Speaker 10: Man, I'm not even worried about the child support.
Speaker 11: I don't pay the chold support.
Speaker 10: I'm worried about some doctor making a huge mistake.
Speaker 4: And and oh my god, your wife is having it's
Speaker 4: gonna have.
Speaker 10: A black baby.
Speaker 11: I can't believe that this well, this is unbelievable.
Speaker 10: It's unbelievable, and I can't believe you call my house,
Speaker 10: give me the doctor, should give me this.
Speaker 1: Don't you want it?
Speaker 6: It doesn't matter who gives you the news, as long
Speaker 6: as you get the news. Now what I want you
Speaker 6: to do with this? Please don't be giving the baby
Speaker 6: no white name and stuff.
Speaker 10: I can't believe that you're so this is incredible, incredible.
Speaker 10: Oh my gosh, call me.
Speaker 11: I'm trying to give me the I'm ready to go crazy.
Speaker 4: This is crazy, Okay, this, this is this is.
Speaker 1: No reason to be violent, sir. You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 11: This already violent. You're you're worried about me about paying
Speaker 11: child support and talking about.
Speaker 10: Your seed and and your baby's daddy.
Speaker 4: Know.
Speaker 11: Oh man, this this is bringing the.
Speaker 8: Best out of me.
Speaker 4: I can promise you.
Speaker 6: Unbelievable, man, Let me let me ask yourself, sir, do
Speaker 6: you think you may need angle management?
Speaker 1: I mean, you're not gonna Are you gonna? You're not gonna.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna beat my child?
Speaker 9: Are you?
Speaker 11: Oh?
Speaker 4: Man, you know how to push a man's buttons.
Speaker 11: I can promise you. Man, that's crazy. No, I ain't
Speaker 11: gonna beat nobody's baby.
Speaker 1: I don't want you being violent to me and your
Speaker 1: wife's baby.
Speaker 11: Spin this thing around?
Speaker 1: Huh?
Speaker 10: Where do you live?
Speaker 1: Man? Who this? Okay? Is this?
Speaker 11: Because I'm oh man, this is crazy.
Speaker 6: Well, here's what I'm gonna ask you. Do you think
Speaker 6: you might want to be the godfather to the child.
Speaker 4: To my own kid?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 11: Well, I guess it wouldn't be my kid.
Speaker 1: Because me and your wife's you.
Speaker 4: Don't you say that you're crazy?
Speaker 10: Don't you say that, Say that that drives me even
Speaker 10: thinking about something like that.
Speaker 4: It's me talk about something.
Speaker 1: Like that, but it's me and your wife's child.
Speaker 11: Take So, don't you even talk like that you're crazy?
Speaker 10: Tear a hole in your head. Don't you talk like that?
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, you're gonna tell a hold and who.
Speaker 3: Hey you in your head?
Speaker 1: You're crazy?
Speaker 4: Up.
Speaker 6: This is the kind of thing I don't want my
Speaker 6: child around. This time, this type of talk, this type
Speaker 6: of violence. So your white folks get mad and want
Speaker 6: to everybody in room. Don't you care who you mad at?
Speaker 6: Why do y'all do that?
Speaker 1: You you this?
Speaker 6: Man?
Speaker 1: Can I can? I can I say one more thing
Speaker 1: to you?
Speaker 4: Can I do that?
Speaker 10: I don't know if I can take any more of
Speaker 10: this to me?
Speaker 11: Man, I'm jumped to the phone.
Speaker 6: I got one more thing to say to you. This
Speaker 6: is Nephew timing from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. You
Speaker 6: just got pranked by your wife.
Speaker 9: Oh he's gonna kill that.
Speaker 11: It took us so long trying to get tegnant. She's
Speaker 11: gonna play play a game like this.
Speaker 4: That's I got me, man, you thinking? God me? Man?
Speaker 10: Yeah, we listened to Steve Harvey radio show all the time.
Speaker 11: Man, that's awesome.
Speaker 4: He doesn't great.
Speaker 11: Oh man, I'm gonna go find her and give her
Speaker 11: a big kiss.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna do that far. God, Man, I got one.
Speaker 6: I got one more question for you, baby. What is
Speaker 6: the baddest radio show in the land?
Speaker 10: The Steve Harvey Radio Show in the morning.
Speaker 1: But y'all think about that? Yeah? Yeah, I have no
Speaker 1: words too much? I really really wrong on so many
Speaker 1: no words. But did you like it though? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna pray for you though I am. Oh, they praying
Speaker 1: for me all over the pray harder. How do you
Speaker 1: like something you got to pray for because it's funny.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Man, he don't be nervous nothing. He
Speaker 1: just out public, just shopping.
Speaker 5: That's his job.
Speaker 1: No, No, I be nervous in public, then I'd be nervous.
Speaker 1: I had a few people run up on me. You
Speaker 1: haven't run up on me. You have a feel of
Speaker 1: ass whooping coming. You have a feel one cam Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got better than that. You ever had it? Come? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about had the feeling and then it arrived right.
Speaker 6: Come come December eight, nineteen, Oakland, California. I a man
Speaker 6: tail two short to blow the whistle because the nephew're
Speaker 6: coming to downright. That is Tommy t December eighth, ninth,
Speaker 6: and tenth, and then that place I have never been, Tacoma, Washington,
Speaker 6: December fifteen, sixteen to seventeen. Nate Jackson, Super Funny Comedy Club. Nate,
Speaker 6: tell them baby nephew, come coming up at.
Speaker 1: The top of the hour.
Speaker 3: Strawberry letter, the subject Thanksgiving surprise. Wait till you hear
Speaker 3: the surprise. We'll get into it right after this. You're
Speaker 3: listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. It is time now for
Speaker 3: my Strawberry Letter and listen. If you need advice and
Speaker 3: relationships on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please submit
Speaker 3: your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click
Speaker 3: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live
Speaker 3: on the air, just like we're gonna read this one
Speaker 3: right here, right now.
Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
Speaker 1: you here.
Speaker 3: It is Strawberry Letter, subject Thanksgiving Surprise.
Speaker 1: Wooh.
Speaker 3: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a fifty seven year old married
Speaker 3: man and I'm on my second marriage. My wife has
Speaker 3: two daughters from a previous marriage, and they're both grown
Speaker 3: and live in different cities. The oldest daughter is twenty
Speaker 3: nine now and she has a one year old son.
Speaker 3: My wife is looking forward to Thanksgiving because she will
Speaker 3: have the girls home and she can spend quality time
Speaker 3: with her grandson. But I'm not excited about us all
Speaker 3: being under one roof because because I had an affair
Speaker 3: with the oldest daughter. It started when she was twenty
Speaker 3: seven and she moved back in with us briefly to
Speaker 3: save some money. She was very flirtatious, and she'd rub
Speaker 3: my head when she hugged me and sit on my
Speaker 3: lap to talk to me and call me handsome whenever
Speaker 3: her mom wasn't around. One night, while her mom was
Speaker 3: asleep on the couch, she took a bath with a
Speaker 3: door cracked, and I mistakenly went in to use the bathroom.
Speaker 3: This was the first time we had sex, and I
Speaker 3: felt terrible, and so did she, so she moved out
Speaker 3: the next week. The next week, my wife insisted that
Speaker 3: I help her move, so I did, and we had
Speaker 3: sex the second time at her apartment.
Speaker 1: The affair went on for a while. You ready for this.
Speaker 3: The affair went on for a while until she got pregnant.
Speaker 3: We've had a paternity test, so I know it's my son,
Speaker 3: but my stepdaughter has her boyfriend thinking.
Speaker 1: It's his son.
Speaker 3: I've always wanted a child, but my first wife couldn't
Speaker 3: have children. I want to be part of this child's
Speaker 3: life so badly that I'm willing to end my marriage
Speaker 3: if I have to. I will not allow another blo
Speaker 3: boy to grow up without a father. I know this
Speaker 3: is all a big mess. But I'm ready to tell
Speaker 3: the truth when we're all together for Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: My wife will be heartbroken. I'm sure.
Speaker 3: Am I being selfish in this situation?
Speaker 5: Whoo?
Speaker 3: That's the question you want to ask her? Are you
Speaker 3: being selfish? I mean, really, that's it that responds is woo?
Speaker 3: I mean, how dare you write us with this mess?
Speaker 3: I mean, Steve and I we are in this. You
Speaker 3: did this, You did this with your stepdaughter, your stepdaughter, dog,
Speaker 3: your stepdaughter.
Speaker 1: And it's foul. This is foul right here. This is
Speaker 1: so foul.
Speaker 3: If you had to cheat on your wife, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: say this. I'm gonna say this, if you just had
Speaker 3: to cheat on your wife, if you could not keep
Speaker 3: it in your pants because someone was flirting with you
Speaker 3: and rubbing your ball head and sitting in your lap, Honestly,
Speaker 3: I would have rather for you to step outside the
Speaker 3: marriage then to get with your wife's daughter. I mean really,
Speaker 3: that would have made more sense. Now you and your
Speaker 3: stepdaughter have a son together that she had to lie
Speaker 3: to her boyfriend about, and she has a boyfriend thinking
Speaker 3: the baby is his. This is so wrong on so
Speaker 3: many levels. I mean, just lie on top of lie
Speaker 3: on top of lie. I'm hurt for your wife. I'm
Speaker 3: hurt for her and she doesn't even know what's going
Speaker 3: on yet, all because you couldn't stay away from her daughter.
Speaker 3: Why did you allow her to sit on your lap
Speaker 3: and all that?
Speaker 1: Anyway, why did you do that? Why didn't you say no?
Speaker 1: Why didn't you get up?
Speaker 7: You know why?
Speaker 3: That's the part that's killing me. And you know what,
Speaker 3: there's no good ending. There's no way to end this
Speaker 3: nicely or respectfully. There's no good ending to this nightmare
Speaker 3: of a story.
Speaker 1: There just isn't.
Speaker 3: There's no way to make it right. I want you
Speaker 3: to leave. I want you to get a divorce and
Speaker 3: pay child support for your son because I feel at
Speaker 3: some point the truth is going to come out anyway,
Speaker 3: it really is, is whether you tell your wife a
Speaker 3: Thanksgiving or not. And what a way to spoil Thanksgiving dinner.
Speaker 3: I bet you guys are going to continue to live
Speaker 3: out this lie until something happens. This is just a mess,
Speaker 3: it really is. Are you being selfish in this situation?
Speaker 3: You have always been selfish in this situation?
Speaker 1: Steve boy boy, Yes he did, Yes, sure, sir, you
Speaker 1: are in so much damn trouble right now, you have
Speaker 1: not seen the trumble. See you know. Look, I tell
Speaker 1: my sons all the time, the older you get, the
Speaker 1: more dire the consequences for your mistakes, because as you
Speaker 1: get older, you're supposed to get better at handling errors
Speaker 1: and situations to help you to avoid the big mistakes,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Look, you're gonna always make
Speaker 1: mistakes till you leave this world, but you try to
Speaker 1: get the big ones out the way early. You know,
Speaker 1: before you you fifty seven, it's half a hundred years
Speaker 1: you've been here. Over your stupid ass. That is this
Speaker 1: ignorant ass mess that you that wrote us like we
Speaker 1: got some help for you. We don't have no help
Speaker 1: for you, all right, see you hang on, hang on.
Speaker 3: We'll have part two of your response coming up at
Speaker 3: twenty three minutes after the hour. My Strawberry letter for
Speaker 3: today's subject Thanksgiving Surprise.
Speaker 1: We'll get back.
Speaker 3: Into it right after this listen, Morning show. All right, Steve,
Speaker 3: come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject to
Speaker 3: Thanksgiving surprise.
Speaker 1: Sir, fifty seven year old man, you so ignorant. Ignorant,
Speaker 1: fifty seven year old married man that had an affair
Speaker 1: with your stepdaughter when she moved back in because she
Speaker 1: needed to get on her feet. She was twenty seven
Speaker 1: years old, always calling you handsome. Y'all had sex while
Speaker 1: your wife was asleep on the sofa. You felt bad,
Speaker 1: She felt bad, so she decided to move out the
Speaker 1: next week. Then your wife tells you help her move
Speaker 1: you over a the apartment having some most sex. Now
Speaker 1: she twenty nine, so y'all been having this affair for
Speaker 1: two years. All this started when she was in there
Speaker 1: taking a bath and left the dough crack. This is
Speaker 1: what you said when this happened. One night while her
Speaker 1: mom was asleep on the couch, she took a bath
Speaker 1: with the doe cracked, and I mistakenly went in to
Speaker 1: use the bathroom. Boy, yeah, boy, how big is y'all bathroom?
Speaker 1: And they only had one? Well, when the dog cracked,
Speaker 1: you mistakenly went in to use the bathroom. When you
Speaker 1: open the door and you saw in the bathtub, you
Speaker 1: ain't turn around, right, bro. Now the fair been going
Speaker 1: on for a while. Then guess what he said? Until
Speaker 1: she got pregnant. Now she got a boyfriend and got
Speaker 1: the boyfriend thinking it's his son when it's really your son.
Speaker 1: And you've always wanted a child, even from your first wife,
Speaker 1: but she couldn't. And now you want a son so
Speaker 1: bad you're willing to leave your wife so you can
Speaker 1: have relationship with his son because you did. Here come
Speaker 1: the noble part you throw in, because I will not
Speaker 1: allow another black boy to grow up without a father.
Speaker 1: He got two damn daddies. Yeah, we don't feel sorry
Speaker 1: for you, bro. Let's tell the truth. You don't want
Speaker 1: to leave the mama so you can raise the son.
Speaker 1: You want to leave the mama so you can have
Speaker 1: the fleeing with the twenty nine year old. Come now,
Speaker 1: that's really what you talking about. I want this son
Speaker 1: so badly, I'm willing to leave my wife so I
Speaker 1: can raise this something for what dog?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 1: Doc?
Speaker 5: Do you know?
Speaker 1: How? That don't even sound right to no damn other man?
Speaker 1: So how you think that's gonna work. You're gonna wait
Speaker 1: on Thanksgiving? She gonna come to the house with the
Speaker 1: baby with her boyfriend. The other daughter gonna be there,
Speaker 1: You and your wife gonna be sitting up there, and
Speaker 1: then you gonna tell her what happened. That young ass
Speaker 1: boy gonna whoop your hands. I'm talking about who he
Speaker 1: gonna go off, the other sister gonna go off your wife. Lord,
Speaker 1: have mercy, what you're gonna do to this woman? See, bro,
Speaker 1: this is a disaster now it is. Do not wait
Speaker 1: to Thanksgiving right, thank you? But if you're gonna go
Speaker 1: in here with this noise going here right now, if
Speaker 1: that's what you're gonna do, and I don't really know
Speaker 1: what you should do. Really, I really told you that
Speaker 1: Shirley got it right. I don't know what you write
Speaker 1: us for. We ain't got nothing for you. There is
Speaker 1: no right way to do this because everything about it
Speaker 1: is wrong. See. People think if I just come clean
Speaker 1: to be honest, that's the right thing to do. What
Speaker 1: it is still a mess? Hey man, honesty. See, let
Speaker 1: me tell you something. When you've been so dishonest for
Speaker 1: so long on so many levels, how do you think
Speaker 1: one moment of honesty is supposed to correct it all?
Speaker 1: You think by coming clean at least I came clean,
Speaker 1: at least.
Speaker 7: You You've been screwing this woman for over two years,
Speaker 7: your wife's daughter, she.
Speaker 1: Got your son. You're finn to ruin your relationship with
Speaker 1: your wife. You find to ruin the mother and the
Speaker 1: daughter relationship. Oh, Yeah, it's gonna damage the other child's relationship,
Speaker 1: the other sibling with her sister. How could you do
Speaker 1: this to our mother? Yes, you ain't gonna be right
Speaker 1: with the two of them no more. The boyfriend been
Speaker 1: buying these pamples and everything. He gonna warn your ass
Speaker 1: because now he's been paying money thinking he had something.
Speaker 1: Now you find to tell him it ain't his son,
Speaker 1: it's your son. And now you was over here screwing
Speaker 1: my girl dog. Do you understand the complexity of all
Speaker 1: of this that's going on? Have you lost your ever
Speaker 1: loving mind? Now you think, Oh, Thanksgiving? It's the time
Speaker 1: while everybody there. Boy you you that, sir, listen to me.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be food everywhere. It's too muchy, it's too
Speaker 1: many knives that Thanksgiving. Oh, you're gonna get busted over
Speaker 1: your head with the yellow mold, gonna dunk your ass
Speaker 1: down in the punch bowl. Try to drink, sir, Sir,
Speaker 1: it's terrible, surely, And I do not have an answer
Speaker 1: for you. You don't know what you're gonna do. This
Speaker 1: is a mess, and you're gonna figure it out. But
Speaker 1: you're gonna pay. Bro. All I can tell you is
Speaker 1: you're finish pay daily for this. Now you can try
Speaker 1: the little noble line you tried with me. I'll not
Speaker 1: see another black boy raised without fu Yeah, good, trouble dog,
Speaker 1: it's really bad. Hey, before I go happy Thanksgiving? Yeah,
Speaker 1: gobble gop know how I went?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Really? All right?
Speaker 3: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
Speaker 3: FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter
Speaker 3: podcast on demand. Please you're listening Hardy Morning show. All right,
Speaker 3: So Thanksgiving hosting mistakes you don't want to make now
Speaker 3: check these out. Whether it's your first time hosting Thanksgiving
Speaker 3: or you've been doing it for years, you can learn
Speaker 3: from the mistakes of Thanksgiving past. Number one, topping the list.
Speaker 3: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. This means don't
Speaker 3: use Thanksgiving to test out new recipes.
Speaker 1: Just stick to what you know. Just stick to what
Speaker 1: you know work, all right, basic dressing, the mac and cheese,
Speaker 1: all of the go ahead to do your list so
Speaker 1: we can get to the real this show. Okay.
Speaker 3: Number two, Tell guests what to bring and be very specific,
Speaker 3: all right. If you tell them to bring whatever they like,
Speaker 3: you could end up with twenty five bottles of wine,
Speaker 3: a gas station package of cheese and crackers.
Speaker 1: You know you never know what you're gonna get.
Speaker 3: You just never know, So be specific when you tell
Speaker 3: guests that keep the kids entertained and mess.
Speaker 1: Free, all right, make sure of that.
Speaker 3: No slime, no legos, people walking stepping on you know,
Speaker 3: hurting themselves.
Speaker 1: You know those will end up everywhere. And the last one.
Speaker 3: Only allow people who can really cook in the kitchen.
Speaker 1: First of all, don't bring a damn thing we don't need.
Speaker 1: We don't need, We got all it.
Speaker 6: Second of all, don't bring no containers, empty containers for
Speaker 6: you to take some back.
Speaker 1: You ain't taking nothing back because you ain't bring nothing.
Speaker 13: But you're told them not to bring nothing for dirty
Speaker 13: thirty you're leftovers.
Speaker 3: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: You are only allowed one to go plate. And when
Speaker 1: you put the fall on top of it, it must
Speaker 1: be level. Val can't be no mountain. And then you
Speaker 1: got wrapped up. No, yeah, here go another rule.
Speaker 12: You can't get a second place to everybody eight see
Speaker 12: your ads back in their folk cana.
Speaker 1: Jordan ain't got here yet.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, here there. This is how you know when
Speaker 6: the first football game is over.
Speaker 1: Your time here is over what you're putting him out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it. One game you one game, it's two games
Speaker 1: on thanksget I think it's three another being here cutting
Speaker 1: on this sweet potato pie to big Mama say so yeah,
Speaker 1: just being here cutting on pie. Big Mama ain't told
Speaker 1: nobody to cut the pie. You're cutting the pie for
Speaker 1: another pie.
Speaker 3: Cutting time, angry things, give me true hell won't for
Speaker 3: the kids?
Speaker 1: Kids is easy? Six out, behind down, that's it. Get up,
Speaker 1: just get up. We're fixing the kids plate.
Speaker 6: They don't fix their own plate, and they're gonna eat
Speaker 6: all of it or we're gonna whoop your hands.
Speaker 1: Go inta. Stop making that rugged ass yello mold. Don't
Speaker 1: nobody won't it? Yeah, damn yell with the milk and
Speaker 1: don't nobody won't that. You're listening.
Speaker 3: Morning show? All right, Steve, it's time for comedy roulette.
Speaker 1: Jay, take it away.
Speaker 2: He hates explaining, But.
Speaker 1: Why do you use plain, James?
Speaker 2: We have new listeners that have no idea what we're doing.
Speaker 2: Every day we got new every day.
Speaker 1: We have new listen.
Speaker 13: Alright on, Jay, you take five subjects, put them on
Speaker 13: the wheel, spun the wheel.
Speaker 2: That's what sure, they hates spun it hard, I mean
Speaker 2: spun it around.
Speaker 1: No, I hate you?
Speaker 2: And then which stop? We do the damn thing?
Speaker 1: Here we go?
Speaker 3: Number one, forget that, I'm still mad about it. Number
Speaker 3: two in the shop. My behind sounds like repo to me.
Speaker 1: Number three? But have you seen the baby's daddy though?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 1: Number four?
Speaker 3: That's why I can't nobody stand you?
Speaker 7: Now?
Speaker 3: Number five, I know I'm gonna be unpunishment for what
Speaker 3: the heck?
Speaker 1: That's what?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 4: That is? What the hell? What the.
Speaker 2: You can't get a.
Speaker 6: Hey?
Speaker 1: Number five? I know I'm gonna be on punishment.
Speaker 2: Work, let me tell you what's that?
Speaker 1: Say? What?
Speaker 6: Now?
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 2: I know I'm gonna be on punishment, but what the hell?
Speaker 1: Come on?
Speaker 2: Number five?
Speaker 11: Here we go.
Speaker 13: I know I'm gonna be on punishment, but I'm eating
Speaker 13: that last pig. He's a chicken just waiting for daddy.
Speaker 1: I'm keeping.
Speaker 2: He hungry, and I'm hung right now. He ain't gonna
Speaker 2: be here to six. I'm hungry right now. I'm eating that.
Speaker 5: Okay, I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna be on punishment. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: this anyway. What the hell I'm knocking my cousin out.
Speaker 1: I'm tired of taking my toys and I can't get
Speaker 1: my toy.
Speaker 2: Back his hands right here in my room. I don't
Speaker 2: even care.
Speaker 14: I'm but I'm knocking him the hell out.
Speaker 1: Come on, I got boring.
Speaker 6: I know I'm gonna be on punishment, but I'm sneaking
Speaker 6: this girl in my mama room.
Speaker 1: No matter what, I'm going.
Speaker 2: What what that's the best bed in the house. What
Speaker 2: are you talking about? It's going my mama bed. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna be on punishment because them street
Speaker 1: licen and came on. But Brenda still sitting on her steps.
Speaker 1: I'm down here with print beat my ass. If Brenda
Speaker 1: still on her step, I'm down here house. I'm not
Speaker 1: going I'm down here right now, standing out here talking
Speaker 1: my third story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's gonna go down.
Speaker 13: I know I'm gonna be on punishment, but the new
Speaker 13: shoes cost me twenty dollars.
Speaker 2: Mamma, purish wide open.
Speaker 1: I'm getting that.
Speaker 2: I'm going in now, yo, Mama.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be on, but we
Speaker 5: get the Grandmama house.
Speaker 1: I'm telling her how you beat me.
Speaker 14: I need some justice, telling everything. This will wait too
Speaker 14: long and too abusive to beat me like that. Wait
Speaker 14: till we pull up in the girl, Wait till we
Speaker 14: pull up.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, I got one.
Speaker 6: I know I'm gonna be on punishment, but come leven
Speaker 6: thirty the night when my mom and daddy go to bed,
Speaker 6: I'm back in this Cadillac.
Speaker 1: I'm going to see Regina because you and me.
Speaker 4: Boy.
Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna be on punishment because I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to have this car home by midnight, But we still kiss.
Speaker 1: We steal hell, I will be Are we steal steal?
Speaker 1: I'm we kisses so hard right now?
Speaker 3: Yet you're listening hard morning show. All right, so here's
Speaker 3: a question for Tommy, Carla, and Junior. What in the
Speaker 3: world is going on in Houston? They this made national news.
Speaker 3: Two men were arrested last week in Harris County, Texas
Speaker 3: for stealing forty six packs of oxtails.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, oxtails. Guys. Come on, uh these
Speaker 1: two themes. You guys heard about it, right, Carla.
Speaker 3: The two themes robbed four different grocery stores and stole
Speaker 3: close to twelve hundred dollars worth of oxtale. The duo
Speaker 3: was caught during a routine traffic stop when an officer
Speaker 3: noticed a large amount of unbagged meat on the back seat.
Speaker 3: They were arrested and charged with theft aggregate, and their
Speaker 3: bail was set at twenty five hundred dollars each.
Speaker 1: So I don't condone it, but I understand. I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you understand? Because you love our sales,
Speaker 1: the price sales.
Speaker 12: Sales right now, and I was I was going, I
Speaker 12: was going home and going to buy something, dude from
Speaker 12: these That's why I'm mad.
Speaker 7: We understand and made them. There's some more people need
Speaker 7: to be in jail. Yes, yeah, them over the time.
Speaker 7: We need to march for them.
Speaker 1: Let out. Don't understand what freedom for a pack of ox?
Speaker 2: Don't understand that all dollars.
Speaker 3: We'll have more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show coming
Speaker 3: up at thirty three minutes after the hour, we will
Speaker 3: play around would you rather?
Speaker 1: Right after this?
Speaker 3: You're listening hard morning Show? All right, guys, it's time
Speaker 3: for a round of would you rather? Would you rather
Speaker 3: play golf with your buddies?
Speaker 1: Yep? Or go fishing with your wife? I could do
Speaker 1: each with Mardrie all the time. She don't listen, he
Speaker 1: she already knows how to fish. Listen, she can't fish
Speaker 1: good as me. If she can catch fish for she
Speaker 1: up getting it off and all that us tomorrow, Stee,
Speaker 1: I can't get this on long. Use your plies, baby,
Speaker 1: were on Instagram. Go look at it. Look it up.
Speaker 1: I know I I said, baby, use your flies. Steve,
Speaker 1: I can't get to use your plies.
Speaker 5: Baby.
Speaker 1: I bought your fly. I bought. I brought you some
Speaker 1: mess club you got is get your applies. You be
Speaker 1: done with this. You finish, kill it down fish that
Speaker 1: is the objective. So you can hear him right, release
Speaker 1: we throw fish back. Oh okay, you don't eat them.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play golf with the boys. Okay.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you change your mind because at first you said
Speaker 7: either either world.
Speaker 6: But I haven't been fishing with Jay. She didn't hook
Speaker 6: my ass before. Oh man, oh.
Speaker 1: Wow that yeah, I'm bleeding here. I'm emerhaging. All right.
Speaker 3: Would you rather take cold showers for one month or
Speaker 3: only wash up for a month?
Speaker 1: Only wash up?
Speaker 7: What that?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 1: What you know?
Speaker 3: Just wash up?
Speaker 1: No shower, no bad Yeah yeah yeah yeah, wash it up. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take that wash up, that cold show. I
Speaker 1: can't do it. Wash up, I'm going to stand in
Speaker 1: that way. They're supposed to be standing for you. They
Speaker 1: not who told you that?
Speaker 3: This doctor they say they help with inflammation, all of that,
Speaker 3: they're good for you.
Speaker 1: No, it ain't that much as well. Don't athletes take
Speaker 1: their things? Yeah? Yeah, all of that them athletes? We comedians.
Speaker 1: We don't need all that. You're not athletic comedian. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got inflammation jokes, all right?
Speaker 3: Would you rather have Thanksgiving dinner naked with your family members?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Or would you rather have Thanksgiving dinner alone, fully dressed,
Speaker 3: a long.
Speaker 1: Family, whole family than him? My mama? Where in him?
Speaker 1: Mama sitting up? I don't tell you. Ain't away, Jackie.
Speaker 1: Ain't your hand up in there? Mardie? Mama sitting over there? Neked, No, no,
Speaker 1: we can't do this. Last one.
Speaker 3: Would you rather cry uncontrollably when you get aroused or
Speaker 3: not be able to talk at all when you get aroused?
Speaker 1: Which I knew both of them? One either one bunch of.
Speaker 10: Show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I'm be. I just won't be. I don't
Speaker 1: want to cry. I't don't want to quiet. Crying interrupt
Speaker 1: your breathing pattern. I need to keep my breathing, right, Nah,
Speaker 1: just get me to not talking. What is Tommy crying?
Speaker 1: All right? You shown tell a lot though.
Speaker 3: Coming up at forty nine minutes after, we'll have some
Speaker 3: closing remarks from the one and only Steve Harvey and
Speaker 3: it'll be our last break of the day.
Speaker 1: Right after this.
Speaker 3: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, Steve, here
Speaker 3: we are last break of the day on this Tuesday.
Speaker 3: You have some closing remarks for us.
Speaker 4: I know you do.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I've been talking to you all a few times
Speaker 1: about this thing that I've started doing every morning, this
Speaker 1: morning meditation. It's a series of things I do. You
Speaker 1: don't have to do it. Everybody has to pick their
Speaker 1: own way to go about it. I just decided because
Speaker 1: of a scripture that I read Psalms five and three
Speaker 1: and Psalms five and three. It just talks about in
Speaker 1: the morning, and just talk about when you talk to
Speaker 1: God in the morning, you're asking him to hear your voice.
Speaker 1: And then after you ask him to hear your voice
Speaker 1: of everything you pray and talk to him about, asking
Speaker 1: to show gratitude. You wait in expectation of all these
Speaker 1: things to happen in your life. You know not. Look,
Speaker 1: everything you ask are not gonna happen today, but you
Speaker 1: spend your day in expectation that God is gonna do
Speaker 1: something to move you closer to your goals, your dreams,
Speaker 1: your visions, and especially to Him. But what I have
Speaker 1: learned about this morning meditation and it has bought about
Speaker 1: a pizza in my life that I've never had before.
Speaker 1: I'm just sharing it with everybody because I'd like for
Speaker 1: you all to try it. Look, they got these daily
Speaker 1: inspiration books all over the place. The one I got
Speaker 1: is called Enjoying Peace and His Presence by Sarah Young.
Speaker 1: It's just a three hundred and sixty five day devotion,
Speaker 1: or you can pick anyone you want. You know how
Speaker 1: they have a little message of the day and then
Speaker 1: they back it up with a couple of scriptures. And look, man,
Speaker 1: I'm not being religious with you at all, because your
Speaker 1: faith doesn't matter to me. I'm just talking about a method,
Speaker 1: this morning meditation. And what I do is what it
Speaker 1: does is is after I get through meditating and say
Speaker 1: the Lord's Prayer and I read my little daily daily inspiration,
Speaker 1: I got a Bible app and I do my Verse
Speaker 1: of the day, and then I go look it up
Speaker 1: in the Bible, and I look it up in the
Speaker 1: New Living Testament so I can understand the real words.
Speaker 1: And before I close out, I pull out my list
Speaker 1: of everything that I'm thanking God for, which is a
Speaker 1: full sheet of paper. And then I have a second
Speaker 1: sheet of paper that stuff I'm asking God for, which
Speaker 1: is another full sheet of paper. What I've learned in
Speaker 1: this meditation is that it has given me a peace
Speaker 1: that has transcended my intellect. And what I mean by
Speaker 1: that is what I've discovered. What's happening to me, and
Speaker 1: it might be happening to a lot of you, is
Speaker 1: when most of your mental energy goes into trying to
Speaker 1: figure everything out, which I can't tell you how much
Speaker 1: of my morning I used to wake up in the
Speaker 1: morning and began to figure every try to figure everything out.
Speaker 1: When you're trying to figure it out the peace that
Speaker 1: God can really give you, you're you're not capable of
Speaker 1: receiving that because you're in the wait with your mindset.
Speaker 1: See you so busy trying to figure it out that
Speaker 1: you don't you don't leave room for God and what God,
Speaker 1: God kind of looks in your head and probably looking
Speaker 1: at all these thoughts spinning around and around and going
Speaker 1: nowhere and accomplishing nothing, and all the while, this piece
Speaker 1: that he has for me had been kind of hovering
Speaker 1: over my head, searching for a place to land. But
Speaker 1: I wasn't given his peace a place to land in
Speaker 1: my head because I had it so jumbled up with
Speaker 1: thoughts of how to figure it out, what I'm gonna do,
Speaker 1: who should I call, what should I say, how do
Speaker 1: I respond? And for the past month I've stopped doing that.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, it just gave me an incredible
Speaker 1: peace that he had been trying to give to me
Speaker 1: for years. I wish I had learned this a long
Speaker 1: time ago, but maybe it can help you out the
Speaker 1: way it has helped me. But I guess we all
Speaker 1: learned stuff as we go along. You know, we are
Speaker 1: all slowly becoming the person that we should have been
Speaker 1: a long time ago. I also learned of late that
Speaker 1: it takes your entire life life to find out everything
Speaker 1: there is to find out about yourself to be who
Speaker 1: you really are. It takes your entire life. This person
Speaker 1: that I become has become a person more at peace
Speaker 1: as all the controversy and things swoil around me. God
Speaker 1: has given me a real calmness in the eye of
Speaker 1: the hurricane, and we all can be the center of
Speaker 1: the hurricane if we just refuse to step out and
Speaker 1: to swirl us around us, and it's all around us.
Speaker 1: It's relative to who you are. Some swels appear bigger
Speaker 1: than other swirls because of the level you've reached in life.
Speaker 1: Some people might look over there and go, man, that
Speaker 1: ain't nothing, But in they world it could be everything.
Speaker 1: It could be monumentous. So who am I because it's
Speaker 1: all relative as to where we are. You know, we
Speaker 1: all got our different crosses to bear. But the one
Speaker 1: thing I've learned about this morning meditation has given me
Speaker 1: a peace beyond my intellect, and it is to just
Speaker 1: have a calmness that I haven't had in a long time.
Speaker 1: And I don't have to respond to everything. Because everything
Speaker 1: that somebody's saying about you, and everything that somebody's doing
Speaker 1: towards you, that's meant for evil. That ain't your business,
Speaker 1: and don't make it yours. Don't even worry about it.
Speaker 1: Those people have no idea that God's weighs are as
Speaker 1: high above the earth as the heavens. They have no idea.
Speaker 1: They just operating in their own little cocoon, thinking they
Speaker 1: staring up something because they got some likes or something
Speaker 1: like that. Hey, y'all, don't get in that. Don't worry
Speaker 1: about ten people. If you love God and you a
Speaker 1: child of His, He's working on your behalf, even when
Speaker 1: it looks like it's a mess out there. All you
Speaker 1: got to do is stay at the eye of the hurricane.
Speaker 1: Don't get in the swirl, don't go out there. If
Speaker 1: you stay centered in Him, he'll give you a piece
Speaker 1: that transcends all your intellect. That's what the Morning Meditation
Speaker 1: has done for me. I would invite you all to
Speaker 1: try it yourself. All right, that's it today. Those are
Speaker 1: my closing in marks.
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