Speaker 1: Confession, I can't take back earl arms.
Speaker 2: Mouse speaker got a text into seven eighty five ninety
Speaker 2: two that says, I confess to sins. I haven't committed
Speaker 2: because I'd just like to stay ahead of the game.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, that's an.
Speaker 2: Interesting strategy, would not recommend, especially if the cops want
Speaker 2: to talk to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's no evidence yet, Jeffrey.
Speaker 2: Well, and it certainly wouldn't work. For this segment where
Speaker 2: listeners tell us about the guilty things that they've done
Speaker 2: in their past. One of our listeners is ready to
Speaker 2: unload some of his sins on us. He's using the
Speaker 2: fake name Diego. So Diego, welcome to the Circle of
Speaker 2: Sins you.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you immediately get the award for best
Speaker 3: fake name out there. People always call there like I'm Ben.
Speaker 2: I'm like what, well, Diego? Our voice changer is on.
Speaker 2: You're now the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, go ahead.
Speaker 2: What's your confession?
Speaker 1: Well, I gotta say first and foremost. I'm pretty pretty
Speaker 1: proud of this confession.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, do you want us to turn the voice
Speaker 3: changer off?
Speaker 2: You want to tell everybody say what your name is?
Speaker 1: No, No, we're staying maths here we're so I'm a
Speaker 1: stand up comedian.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you just don't want people to come to
Speaker 3: your shows? Is that why you're staying anymous?
Speaker 1: No? No, no. So basically, like I started doing this
Speaker 1: five years ago, I wasn't so good at first.
Speaker 3: I don't think anybody is, right, that's the process.
Speaker 4: Over ten years and I'm still not good.
Speaker 1: So so you know, I was bombing a lot and
Speaker 1: I almost quit. I wasn't the cleverest fella, I guess
Speaker 1: you could say, Okay, but it was something I really
Speaker 1: wanted to do with my life, so I decided to
Speaker 1: be a little more proactive about it.
Speaker 3: That's always good, you know, follow your dreams.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, you know. So what I did was I
Speaker 1: started going to really small comedy shows, like no audiences, okay,
Speaker 1: And at these shows sometimes there's one or two funny jokes,
Speaker 1: and you know, you go to enough of them, you
Speaker 1: hear enough funny jokes. So I just started stealing the jokes.
Speaker 3: You can't.
Speaker 4: Sorry, I'm sorry for laughing, Because a lot of comics
Speaker 4: think they can do this, especially when they're young in
Speaker 4: the game, and it always always always catches up to
Speaker 4: you steal the wrong joke, it goes viral. People are like,
Speaker 4: wait a minute, that's not your joke.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2: Jose's been there.
Speaker 4: Trust I opened for Carlosman. C I ever thought I
Speaker 4: was stealing everything?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Do you have you gotten caught?
Speaker 1: No? Because no one ever heard these jokes before. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, these are like the smallest comedy shows on
Speaker 1: the planet.
Speaker 4: Like open mics and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think there's nobody jokes and I
Speaker 1: make it into something because I'm successful.
Speaker 3: Now, Oh successful, what does that mean?
Speaker 1: Oh? I mean like I'm booking shows, they have an agent,
Speaker 1: I'm on tour.
Speaker 4: Oh man, that's good for you.
Speaker 1: But wow, I know.
Speaker 4: Other comics that do this too, and it's always caught up.
Speaker 3: I just don't understand. If you're successful, why don't you
Speaker 3: just pay for the jokes? Then that's what like the
Speaker 3: big time comedians do. They hire a team of writers,
Speaker 3: like they they may like change a couple of things,
Speaker 3: but they're getting like a lot of their stuff, if
Speaker 3: not everything written for them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what we do. Yeah, this show is original.
Speaker 1: I mean I don't pay for it. It's simple. I'm cheap.
Speaker 3: I'm really proud okay.
Speaker 1: Netflix for a wow?
Speaker 3: Seriously, do you feel like you don't feel bad?
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? I'm pulling like eight nines and
Speaker 1: tens at this show.
Speaker 4: If you show any comedian he's about.
Speaker 3: I thought people are scoring him in the audience.
Speaker 4: Literally get on stage and girls are just like, wow,
Speaker 4: it's that guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's worked out well for Jose Yeah, kiss.
Speaker 4: Me than they don't call me back.
Speaker 2: Ye has to go to the doctor right after what.
Speaker 2: I have a bardant.
Speaker 4: Question what happened when finally someone calls you out and
Speaker 4: they're like, no, that was my joke. I was at
Speaker 4: open mic. He was there too, and I swear I
Speaker 4: have it.
Speaker 1: It's on tape.
Speaker 4: What happens if you get called out and I, oh, man,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: If you're not smart enough to write your own jokes.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you're smart enough to get away
Speaker 3: with it.
Speaker 4: I don't remember ever going to an Open mind.
Speaker 1: A special.
Speaker 3: I have a feeling you haven't stolen any jokes from
Speaker 3: our show, have you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, certainly not here? All right?
Speaker 2: Well, good for you?
Speaker 3: No, no, not for you. That sucks, man, Bruk.
Speaker 2: You're just jealous because he's gotten more successful than you
Speaker 2: some and you want to cut corners just like him.
Speaker 3: But he's cheating other struggling comments. That's what sucks. It's
Speaker 3: not like he's cheating some big system. He's like stealing
Speaker 3: off the backs of people can barely feed themselves.
Speaker 1: Going back from him, I mean, I have a question,
Speaker 1: is this The mass speaker of the brook complains hour.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you stole that joke from Jeffrey.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't know. I didn't know.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, you keep doing you, bud, good luck.
Speaker 2: Hopefully don't get caught out there.
Speaker 4: And I don't know if he's gonna get caught, I
Speaker 4: then karma get some event.
Speaker 3: Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2: The text in the seventy five nine too. If you
Speaker 2: have a confession you've been holding on to, we can
Speaker 2: hide your identity by masking your voice and you can
Speaker 2: be on the next mass speaker phone taps coming up
Speaker 2: next
Speaker 3: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning,