Speaker 1: Hi, it's Andrea Gunning, host of Betrayal, and I'm excited
Speaker 1: to share episode one of the new podcast Burden of Guilt.
Speaker 1: Brought to you by the same producers as Betrayal. Burden
Speaker 1: of Guilt tells the true story of a two year
Speaker 1: old who was framed for murder and how she grew
Speaker 1: into an adult determined to get justice and protect her family.
Speaker 1: You'll be hooked after one episode, and even better, the
Speaker 1: entire series is available for you to binge. Now enjoy
Speaker 1: the episode.
Speaker 2: All right, next witness, please stay Tracy Rains.
Speaker 3: You're right man.
Speaker 2: You're listening to a trial which took place in nineteen
Speaker 2: ninety seven. A beautiful twenty seven year old blonde woman
Speaker 2: named Tracy Rain is on the stand.
Speaker 3: Could you pull a microphone just cover the closer to Hi?
Speaker 4: Good?
Speaker 2: Okay, you said you live in the Savannah.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 2: Do you have any children? Yes?
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 2: I have two children. Tracy was impeccably dressed with perfectly
Speaker 2: quafft hair, but her appearance was deceiving. She grew up
Speaker 2: on the poverty line and was exposed to extreme abuse.
Speaker 2: The prosecutor asked why she had worked so hard to
Speaker 2: see this case brought to trial. It was a search
Speaker 2: for truth.
Speaker 3: I realized that something bad had happened, and it was
Speaker 3: to correct that bad thing.
Speaker 2: A bad thing did happen. When she was just two,
Speaker 2: Tracy Riquel's brother Matthew died. He was only four months old.
Speaker 2: There were many accounts as to what occurred, but her
Speaker 2: family chucked it up to a tragedy and life moved on.
Speaker 2: So what was your brother's death? Described as what did
Speaker 2: they tell you?
Speaker 3: So? When I was growing up, I was always told
Speaker 3: that Matthew died at crib death, that he slipped between
Speaker 3: the bars and fell on the floor. I had this
Speaker 3: idea of what I thought I knew. I was twenty five.
Speaker 3: I had finally gotten the records sent to me.
Speaker 2: These were the hospital records from the day of his death.
Speaker 2: They contained all the details she was desperate to know.
Speaker 3: I remember waiting for those documents on a daily basis.
Speaker 3: It was a bright sunny day. I was downstairs in
Speaker 3: the living room. I had to get them open as
Speaker 3: fast as I could, and that's when the world caved
Speaker 3: in around me. I wasn't prepared for what they said.
Speaker 3: It states child was thrown from crib by sister Oh
Speaker 3: hold on, did I do this? Is this everybody trying
Speaker 3: to protec me?
Speaker 2: Imagine, just imagine seeing a report that says you were
Speaker 2: the reason someone died. Tercy Riquel is a kind and
Speaker 2: caring person. She couldn't picture hurting a baby ever, even
Speaker 2: by accident. Yet there it was, in black and white.
Speaker 3: Child drang from crib.
Speaker 2: My sister Tracy saw in writing that she had thrown
Speaker 2: her little brother out of his crib? Was that true?
Speaker 2: Could she have done this or did something much more
Speaker 2: sinister happen? My name is Nancy Glass. I'm an investigative reporter.
Speaker 2: I've covered some of the most notorious crimes in US history.
Speaker 2: I've interviewed Jeffrey Dahmer in prison. I practically lived at
Speaker 2: the courthouse for a year covering the OJ Simpson trial.
Speaker 2: But even after being close to evil time after time,
Speaker 2: this is the story that has affected me more than
Speaker 2: any other. This is Burden of Guilt, Episode one, Age
Speaker 2: of Innocence. Tracy changed her name several years back to
Speaker 2: Tracy Riquel, so you will hear her referred to as
Speaker 2: both Tracy and Racy Riquel in this podcast, especially since
Speaker 2: many of the people we speak to remember her from
Speaker 2: her younger years. I'll explain why she made that change
Speaker 2: later in the series, but out of respect for her,
Speaker 2: I will only refer to her as Tracy Riquel from
Speaker 2: here on out. This series talks about crime, domestic abuse,
Speaker 2: and homicide, but it's so much more than a true
Speaker 2: crime story. It's a real account of survival, resilience, and justice.
Speaker 2: It's taken us two years to put it together because
Speaker 2: it's that hard, it's that dramatic, and most importantly, it's
Speaker 2: taken twenty five years for Tercy Raquel to be able
Speaker 2: to tell her story. I went to see her at
Speaker 2: her home in Colorado. She lives on a heavily protected
Speaker 2: military base. We sat outside, so it's a little noisy.
Speaker 2: Do you just sit and enjoy the few.
Speaker 3: I can only see the very top of it from
Speaker 3: my house, but I'm under Shyanne Mountain, you know Wargames,
Speaker 3: the movie Norat.
Speaker 2: That's where we are.
Speaker 3: It's all beautiful there.
Speaker 2: This place has everything her soul needs, peace, tranquility and
Speaker 2: beauty and a garden. But there's also everything her head needs. Fences,
Speaker 2: uniforms and protection.
Speaker 3: I mean those are yeah, that's just the little pilot's
Speaker 3: training over there at the Air Force County.
Speaker 2: Really, yeah, that's them.
Speaker 3: That's their touch and goes.
Speaker 2: Tercy Riquel is a veteran. She served in the Army
Speaker 2: for two years. She has lived all over Hawaii, Colorado, Alabama,
Speaker 2: different states, cities and bases. To her home is where
Speaker 2: her family is. She's a wife, a mother, and a grandmother.
Speaker 2: Against all odds, she has created a stable and comfortable
Speaker 2: life for herself and her family with her husband, Bart,
Speaker 2: who is still on active duty.
Speaker 3: Because I'm with him, I don't feel terrified. I don't
Speaker 3: feel as vulnerable. I feel safe. I guess that's the
Speaker 3: easiest way to say it, right, Yeah, I feel safe.
Speaker 3: I think we're that coupled now that when you see
Speaker 3: pictures of us, we've started to look like each other,
Speaker 3: like people look like their dogs sometimes or their dogs
Speaker 3: look like them, and then you see people. I think
Speaker 3: that's where we are. We've got to the same little
Speaker 3: clerks now.
Speaker 2: I loved hearing the way she talks about her husband.
Speaker 2: It's really special. When I see her life in Colorado
Speaker 2: and hear about her family makes me smile because the
Speaker 2: odds were so stacked against her. If I decide something,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be something's gonna be I'm pretty annoyingly tenacious.
Speaker 2: If I believe something has to happen, then it's gonna happen. Well,
Speaker 2: that's the theme of all of this, isn't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I guess it is.
Speaker 2: Before I went to Colorado, I had been fascinated by
Speaker 2: Tracy Rikell's story for almost a decade. A few years
Speaker 2: ago we started corresponding, and I have spent the last
Speaker 2: four years getting to know her. We come from such
Speaker 2: different backgrounds, yet we do have so much in common,
Speaker 2: like our love for gardening and poodles and cooking and
Speaker 2: our kids. Of course, Tracy Riquel is in a safe
Speaker 2: place now and any pain is well hidden, but her
Speaker 2: road was a long and difficult one. Now at times
Speaker 2: the story can be difficult to hear, but please stick
Speaker 2: with me. After seeing hospital records that said Tracy Riquel
Speaker 2: was responsible for her four month old baby brother's death,
Speaker 2: it was a reckoning. The night Matthew died also happens
Speaker 2: to be her very first memory.
Speaker 3: At the time, I didn't understand what all the lights
Speaker 3: and sirens are, and I don't really have a memory
Speaker 3: of an emotional state at that point, just asking what
Speaker 3: they were doing.
Speaker 2: Were you scared?
Speaker 3: I was terrified.
Speaker 2: She has flashbacks of images of herself in a car.
Speaker 3: I remember it being a dark green El Camino. I
Speaker 3: remember standing up in the seat with my arms around
Speaker 3: that headrest and looking around at all the sirens everywhere,
Speaker 3: and Jan saying they're trying to help Matthew.
Speaker 2: Jan is Jan Barry Sandlin, Tracy Riquel's father. Matthew, a
Speaker 2: four month old baby, was hurt and needed serious medical attention.
Speaker 2: Journalist Jill Jordan Cedar explains how the sequence of events
Speaker 2: started with Tracy, Raquel and her mother.
Speaker 5: That day, Kathy and Tracy went on an errand Jan
Speaker 5: was at home babysitting little Matthew. When they return, Jan
Speaker 5: came to the door, blocked her entry, and asked her
Speaker 5: to retrieve something from the car. Kathy did that and
Speaker 5: Tracy went inside the apartment. When Cathy comes back, she
Speaker 5: goes into the bedroom, finds Tracy in the crib, Matthew
Speaker 5: on the floor, eyes out of focus, looking in a
Speaker 5: world of trouble. At that point, Jan says that Tracy
Speaker 5: has caused Matthew to fall out of the crib, hit
Speaker 5: his head and is really chastising Tracy. Jan spanks Tracy
Speaker 5: and scolds her for what she's just done. Cathy said, look,
Speaker 5: there's something wrong with Matthew. We've got to get him
Speaker 5: to the emergency room, and they leave.
Speaker 2: They raised the baby to North Side Hospital. The staff
Speaker 2: took X rays and realized he needed more care than
Speaker 2: they could provide. He was transferred by ambulance to the
Speaker 2: cab Medical Center. As Matthew was evaluated, extended family began
Speaker 2: to gather outside the hospital. Kathy's sisters and grandparents hovered
Speaker 2: close by uncle, butch Jan's older brother paced in the
Speaker 2: parking lot.
Speaker 3: He said, I arrived at the emergency room and you
Speaker 3: were sitting on a concrete slab where ambulances pull up.
Speaker 2: Little Tracy Riquel had no idea what was going on,
Speaker 2: but Matthew was in dire condition. He had extensive skull fractures,
Speaker 2: brain bruising, and his pupils were fixed and dilated. Doctors
Speaker 2: felt they needed to perform surgery to give him a
Speaker 2: chance to survive. Signed the paperwork giving permission, but it
Speaker 2: was of no use. Before midnight, Matthew died. Tracy Riquell
Speaker 2: lost her baby brother. The next paper Kathy would sign
Speaker 2: would be a release for the county coroner to perform
Speaker 2: an autopsy and permission for Matthew's body to be sent
Speaker 2: to a funeral home. But after he died, Matthew just
Speaker 2: wasn't mentioned much. Tracy Riquel, of course, was always aware
Speaker 2: of him because of the memories of that night, but
Speaker 2: the family didn't do much to keep his memory alive
Speaker 2: or to memorialize him. You told me a story about
Speaker 2: a very scary car ride when you were a little kid.
Speaker 2: Will you tell that story?
Speaker 3: I mean, I was seven. I was in the car
Speaker 3: with Kathy and she said, after tomorrow is Matthew's birthday.
Speaker 3: And I just had this child life remark of you
Speaker 3: don't take me to the cemetery of neversviet It's funny.
Speaker 3: I can remember exactly where we were on the road
Speaker 3: and next to the highway. And her reaction was shocked.
Speaker 2: Shocked about what that. You would even mention him.
Speaker 3: You're exactly right. Her and Jan were together then, and
Speaker 3: she went home and had a complete fit. She told Jan,
Speaker 3: and he beat me terribly. He really enjoyed the belt,
Speaker 3: the wrong end of the belt.
Speaker 2: He beat you with a belt.
Speaker 3: Yes, he wanted to ensure that I didn't talk about
Speaker 3: Matthew again to her, so I didn't.
Speaker 2: Although she was too young to articulate a desire to
Speaker 2: honor her brother, she craved a connection her father. Jan
Speaker 2: wasn't interested in the least accept in teaching her a lesson.
Speaker 3: And I guess some people think we all got whoopings
Speaker 3: with belts back in the day or whatever, But it
Speaker 3: wasn't like that.
Speaker 6: It wasn't disciplined. It was don't ever talk about this kid.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: And all this time we've been talking, you have never
Speaker 2: referred to Kathy and Jan as mom and dad. Why not?
Speaker 3: I don't think genetics makes you a parent, So now
Speaker 3: I don't refer to them as a mother and a father.
Speaker 3: They weren't that. They weren't parents to me. They were monstrous.
Speaker 2: Tracy Riquel's parents had a long, complicated relationship dating back
Speaker 2: to their childhoods. Jan Berry Sandlin and Kathy Ahmann had
Speaker 2: grown up into Cab County, Georgia. Even decades later, Kathy
Speaker 2: would admit she had been in love with Jan since
Speaker 2: she was twelve years old. One look at Jane's teenage
Speaker 2: photo you could see something in him. Confidence maybe or
Speaker 2: maybe over confidence is more like it. He had a
Speaker 2: handsome face in charisma even as a teenager. Reporter Jill
Speaker 2: Jordan cedar.
Speaker 5: Jan and Kathy had known each other for a long time,
Speaker 5: since sixth and seventh grade, through elementary school into high school.
Speaker 5: She found him charming. He was a cutups or at
Speaker 5: the class clown. He was very popular, very mischievous, had
Speaker 5: a lot of the girls after him, and she was
Speaker 5: one of them.
Speaker 2: Jackie Wilson knew Jan Sandland's family growing up. A few
Speaker 2: of her girlfriends had crushes on him in school.
Speaker 4: Jan didn't mind showing how much he cared about somebody
Speaker 4: whenever he did.
Speaker 3: Care for.
Speaker 4: But he was also demanding and domineering and expected whatever.
Speaker 2: He stand to go. In the early nineteen seventies, it
Speaker 2: wasn't unusual for couples to get married right after high school.
Speaker 2: Although Jan and Kathy eventually married, they took a circuitous
Speaker 2: route with other partners first. Now, this is going to
Speaker 2: be tricky, So if you're multitasking, and I know I
Speaker 2: do that when I listened to podcasts, lean in for this.
Speaker 2: In high school, Kathy wanted to be with Jan.
Speaker 3: He came from a bad name, bad family, so she
Speaker 3: wasn't allowed to.
Speaker 2: Be with him, But obviously she found a way because
Speaker 2: when she was fifteen, she became pregnant by Jan and
Speaker 2: her mother found out. You told me about something very
Speaker 2: traumatic that happened to Kathy around that time.
Speaker 3: What was it? Her mother, my grandmother told her that
Speaker 3: someone was going to come and just check to make
Speaker 3: sure that the baby and the pregnancy was okay, and
Speaker 3: the woman actually came to do an illegal abortion. They
Speaker 3: didn't tell her what.
Speaker 4: Was going on.
Speaker 2: Kathy was forbidden to date Jan. She found another boy
Speaker 2: with a better reputation.
Speaker 3: Publicly, she dated this really nice boy, Ted Golder, through
Speaker 3: high school, but at the same time, she was seeing
Speaker 3: Jan on the side the whole time. And then when
Speaker 3: Ted was drafted, she found out she was pregnant with me.
Speaker 3: She was in the army, and then he went off
Speaker 3: to war.
Speaker 2: Despite her marriage to Ted, Kathy still carried a torch
Speaker 2: for Jan and continued to see him on the side.
Speaker 2: How did Kathy ultimately end her relationship with Ted.
Speaker 3: She had sent him a Dear John letter while he
Speaker 3: was deployed over in Vietnam saying, this is not your child,
Speaker 3: It's Jan's child. I don't love you.
Speaker 2: I'm in love with him, and it was true Kathy
Speaker 2: wanted Jan, and she knew the baby wasn't Ted's. Ted
Speaker 2: was willing to forgive Kathy and raise the baby with her,
Speaker 2: but Kathy wasn't interested. That baby was Tracy Riquel. Soon after, however,
Speaker 2: Kathy found out that Jan married another woman, a pretty
Speaker 2: brunette named Nancy Tiketer. With Jan now married, Kathy reconciled
Speaker 2: with Ted, and during that reconciliation they conceived Matthew. Just
Speaker 2: a month after Matthew's birth, Jan's wife, Nancy, tragically committed suicide,
Speaker 2: and suddenly Kathy's true love was free. It was only
Speaker 2: weeks after Nancy's death before Jan found comfort with Kathy,
Speaker 2: who had open arms waiting. Ted Golder was forgotten and
Speaker 2: Jan moved in with Kathy, Tracy Riquel, and baby Matthew.
Speaker 2: They lived together as a family.
Speaker 3: They were on some honeymoon phase for two days and
Speaker 3: then there was enormous amounts of violence.
Speaker 2: The house was chaos. There was drug abuse and booze.
Speaker 2: Jackie Wilson saw the debauchery firsthand.
Speaker 4: I know for a fact that Jan sniff blue because
Speaker 4: I state it with my own eyes.
Speaker 2: That I know.
Speaker 4: I know that he took pills, but I don't know
Speaker 4: what kind of pills. I know he drank alcohol like
Speaker 4: it was water.
Speaker 2: It was no longer a charming teenage romance. The couple's
Speaker 2: attachment evolved into a rough adult relationship, and Tracy Raquel
Speaker 2: was exposed to most of it.
Speaker 3: I remember Jan and Kathy were at Jan's mother's apartment
Speaker 3: and there was this huge domestic situation that was going on.
Speaker 3: She was screaming bloody murder and he was beating her up,
Speaker 3: and his mother was.
Speaker 2: Yelling at her and where were you?
Speaker 3: I was sitting outside and there were people walking on
Speaker 3: the sidewalk across the street, looking and obviously taking notice.
Speaker 3: Nobody did anything.
Speaker 2: Keeping Tracy Raquel was observing these acts as a small child.
Speaker 3: She would put her through horrible beatings and rapes, but
Speaker 3: she would say, it's the love of my life. It's
Speaker 3: loved my life. It was one of these things that
Speaker 3: I didn't understand.
Speaker 2: But she had something inside her that was very strong.
Speaker 4: Even measures buttons and makes buttonholes.
Speaker 2: She found ways to seek refuge from the toxic, dysfunctional
Speaker 2: environment that surrounded her.
Speaker 3: Here's the story.
Speaker 2: To quiet the noise, just be a kid.
Speaker 3: I would get two cookies in milk, and I could
Speaker 3: watch the Brady Bunch.
Speaker 2: Yes, she watched the family. All of America embraced, and
Speaker 2: she dreamed, it.
Speaker 3: Is escape watching that family work. It was hope. It
Speaker 3: was hopeful, That's what it was. It was hopeful.
Speaker 2: Despite her escapism, Tracy Riquel was haunted by the loss
Speaker 2: of her baby brother. He was a ghost, an ever
Speaker 2: present ghost. Let me describe him to you. I'm looking
Speaker 2: at a photo of him at four months old. He's
Speaker 2: wearing a blue pinafore with a white starched collar. He's
Speaker 2: got a little tuft of hair on top of his head,
Speaker 2: and he has this wide eyed look. There's baby fat.
Speaker 2: The little ones start getting wrinkles around the wrists and
Speaker 2: folds around the neck. He was adorable. Tracy Roquel didn't
Speaker 2: attend Matthew's funeral, but relatives shared details with her over
Speaker 2: the years.
Speaker 3: Matthew was buried in Alabama. Our family is stretched from
Speaker 3: Alabama to Georgia's with a lot of people. I was
Speaker 3: told at the procession from the church to the grave
Speaker 3: side for Matthew that Kathy and jan were in the hearse.
Speaker 5: They did say that the vault that Matthew was in
Speaker 5: was I end coffin that Jan had paid for.
Speaker 2: The funeral was strange. Jan and Kathy displayed odd behavior
Speaker 2: on the way to the cemetery on what should have
Speaker 2: been one of the hardest and most painful days of
Speaker 2: their lives.
Speaker 3: They pulled into McDonald's and went and through a drive
Speaker 3: through to order.
Speaker 2: Food in the middle of being in a funeral procession. Yes,
Speaker 2: their dead baby lay in a coffin in the back
Speaker 2: of their car, but that didn't stop them.
Speaker 3: And they pulled over and stopped and ate before they
Speaker 3: proceeded to the grave. Side to barry.
Speaker 2: Matthew, what was your family's reaction to that?
Speaker 3: It was explained to me that everybody was just mortified.
Speaker 3: Grandmothers and great grandmothers and aunts were just sobbing in tears.
Speaker 2: After Matthew's death, Kathy couldn't cope.
Speaker 3: Kathy's attempted to aside. A couple of months after Matthew died.
Speaker 2: She took Tracy Raquel onto the balcony of their apartment
Speaker 2: and then, right in front of her own two year
Speaker 2: old child, Kathy climbed up on the railing and jumped
Speaker 2: jumped right off the two story balcony.
Speaker 3: She said she sat me there so that the police
Speaker 3: would find me. I think she broke both legs in
Speaker 3: both arms.
Speaker 2: It was only two floors, so Kathy survived but was
Speaker 2: badly injured, immobilized. Jan couldn't be counted on, and Tracy Raquel,
Speaker 2: a toddler, was thrust into the caretake a role. It
Speaker 2: was mind blowing.
Speaker 3: I remember days later she was on the couch in
Speaker 3: this pretty much full body cast, yelling at me, telling
Speaker 3: me how to scramble eggs. So that's the first time
Speaker 3: I scrambled eggs because she didn't do it.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine scrambling eggsit two? It's hard to fathom.
Speaker 2: Kathy became more dependent on Tracy Riquel for other adult
Speaker 2: tasks as well.
Speaker 3: I was buying cigarettes for her when I was five, all.
Speaker 2: By yourself as a little kid. Why do you think
Speaker 2: she did that.
Speaker 6: Your electricity gets hut off or your water gets cut off,
Speaker 6: and you send your child to stand in line with
Speaker 6: a bunch of adults who are paying their bills because
Speaker 6: you don't have enough courage to stand in there and
Speaker 6: pay her and buy bill.
Speaker 2: Kathy didn't want to stand in line because her bills
Speaker 2: were being paid late. That's why she sent her daughter
Speaker 2: to do it. I have this image of this little
Speaker 2: blonde child reaching up to a cashier with a money
Speaker 2: order and then asking in a tiny voice, please can
Speaker 2: I have a pack of Virginia Slims. It all feels absurd.
Speaker 2: As time went on, life resumed, nobody seemed to talk
Speaker 2: much about what happened to Matthew. He was just there
Speaker 2: one day, and then he wasn't. A few years after
Speaker 2: Matthew died, Kathy and Jan had another son. He was
Speaker 2: named Jason. Tracy Raquel had a new younger brother, but
Speaker 2: another baby in the house did nothing to quell the violence.
Speaker 3: I guess chaotic people do chaotic things, so lots of
Speaker 3: violence and abuse. We would be settled somewhere from the
Speaker 3: time I was a little child, and he would just
Speaker 3: show up in the middle of the night and throw
Speaker 3: us on the street.
Speaker 2: Where would you guys go?
Speaker 3: We spent lots of time just sleeping on a park
Speaker 3: bench just wherever. One time, I think I was seven
Speaker 3: or so, he showed up in the middle of the
Speaker 3: night and beat the door down and beat her up
Speaker 3: really bad, and to Jason.
Speaker 2: But Tracy Raquel could hardly look to her mom for comfort.
Speaker 3: Kathy was equally as bad as Jan, just in a
Speaker 3: different way.
Speaker 2: In what way.
Speaker 3: I was in the first grade and got calm in
Speaker 3: my hair. Her answer to that was just to shave
Speaker 3: my head and then send me to school.
Speaker 2: Wow, that story hit me in the gut. And when
Speaker 2: Tercy Raquel first told me this, my thought was, didn't
Speaker 2: anybody else notice or try to intervene.
Speaker 3: My aunt Jane is Kathy's older sister. She's the oldest
Speaker 3: of the five of them. It's my understanding that she
Speaker 3: and my grandfather tried very desperately to take me away
Speaker 3: from Kathy shortly after Matthew died. The system just wouldn't
Speaker 3: allow it. So I think you do what you can
Speaker 3: do when you can, and that's what they did.
Speaker 2: But her family was also fearful of offering shelter to Kathy.
Speaker 2: They believed Kathy would always take Jan back and they
Speaker 2: would put themselves in harms way for nothing. No one
Speaker 2: wanted to be on the receiving end of Jan's rage,
Speaker 2: only to find Kathy back in the same situation days later.
Speaker 2: When Jan threw Kathy and the two kids on the street,
Speaker 2: she would take the kids two motels and then Jan
Speaker 2: would show up. It was a cycle. So as a child,
Speaker 2: Tracy Riquel was basically homeless. Her life was completely erratic,
Speaker 2: going through her day avoiding what emotional or physical landmind
Speaker 2: she could step on. Next, her mother was beaten down, broken,
Speaker 2: and her dad, well, there was another side to Jan
Speaker 2: Sandlin that I haven't shared yet. Her father was involved
Speaker 2: in criminal activity.
Speaker 3: He was connected to an organized crime group in the South.
Speaker 2: She was even a witness to some of it.
Speaker 3: I must before at the time, I remember all of
Speaker 3: these men being in this apartment living room and they
Speaker 3: were making a plan. There were guns everywhere, and they
Speaker 3: were getting ready to do something.
Speaker 2: Jan was focused on the task at hand, and when
Speaker 2: Kathy objected, Jan got her out of his way.
Speaker 3: They had a protest about something and he locked her
Speaker 3: in a tiny little closet while they went and did
Speaker 3: their I don't know, robbery, whatever they were doing.
Speaker 2: How long was she stuck in there.
Speaker 3: She would be able to tell you how many hours
Speaker 3: she stayed in that closet, but a long time. And
Speaker 3: there was also this this Cab County police officer was
Speaker 3: murdered and Kathy said, yeah, he killed that police officer.
Speaker 3: She didn't even know his name.
Speaker 2: There were rumors that Jan was involved in the murder
Speaker 2: of the officer only twenty four years old. The young
Speaker 2: police officer had been shot execution style while working at
Speaker 2: a part time security job.
Speaker 3: That Kathy said, he killed that police officer and then
Speaker 3: we drove to Alabama and through the Dinolite.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you more about his story later in the series.
Speaker 2: It seems like there was never a moment of stability.
Speaker 2: Tracy Riquel has vivid memories of Jan breaking into the
Speaker 2: house and kidnapping her and Jason as a way to
Speaker 2: get a Kathy. Jan had a special affinity for Jason
Speaker 2: because he knew for certain that Jason was his son.
Speaker 3: I believe that Jan is the personality type that's very primal.
Speaker 3: I only take care of my own, so to speak.
Speaker 2: In Jane's mind, Tracy Riquel's paternity was a little more
Speaker 2: dubious considering the overlapping relationships Kathy had with Jan and
Speaker 2: her first husband, Ted Goldter. But Tracy Riquel was useful
Speaker 2: to Jan in one way, used her to look after
Speaker 2: her younger brother. She has a memory that plays almost
Speaker 2: like a short film. In her mind. Jan had kidnapped
Speaker 2: her and her brother Jason.
Speaker 3: When it was time for Jason to take a nap.
Speaker 3: He would put us both in there and we would
Speaker 3: take a nap. And I had this little girl, and
Speaker 3: she knew what was going on. She knew that he
Speaker 3: had kidnapped us or taken us, that this was a
Speaker 3: violent situation.
Speaker 2: The little neighbor girl started coming to the bedroom window
Speaker 2: every day at lunchtime to try and help Tracy, Raquel
Speaker 2: and Jason escape.
Speaker 3: And I would be like, okay, I can do this.
Speaker 3: I could pick them up and hand him down there.
Speaker 2: Did you have a plan.
Speaker 3: This place was at the end of the decab airport
Speaker 3: and my uncle Steve worked at the airport. I just
Speaker 3: thought if I co get him out, I could run him.
Speaker 2: Down this rudway'd be fought. But I was so afraid
Speaker 2: I was going to hurt him. She had already lost
Speaker 2: her younger brother, Matthew. She couldn't bear the thought of
Speaker 2: doing anything that would harm Jason.
Speaker 3: We tried every day for about two weeks, and then
Speaker 3: what happened. The police came one day, This nice policewoman
Speaker 3: came and took my hand and he was arrested and
Speaker 3: off we went.
Speaker 2: It sounds like a disconnect, but here's what happened. The
Speaker 2: police showed up because justice had finally caught up with Jan.
Speaker 2: In the spring of nineteen eighty one, ten years after
Speaker 2: Jan and Kathy got together, he was going to prison.
Speaker 3: He drove to Panama City committed armed robbery and a
Speaker 3: gas station or comedience or something like that, and then
Speaker 3: got into a shootout on Panama City Beach with the
Speaker 3: Panama City Police Department. And then he was arrested and
Speaker 3: sentenced in Florida. And I understand it was like twenty
Speaker 3: five to life.
Speaker 2: He had done time for crimes like forgery and breaking
Speaker 2: and entering, but this conviction would be the one to
Speaker 2: put him out of their lives.
Speaker 3: I thought for sure everything was going to be great.
Speaker 2: Life would be great without jam.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you just don't see the forest for the trees.
Speaker 2: Kathy didn't physically abuse Tracy Riquel, but the relationship was broken. Dysfunctional.
Speaker 2: Kathy was a battered woman and couldn't see much beyond
Speaker 2: her own pain to offer any love or comfort to
Speaker 2: her daughter.
Speaker 3: When I was fourteen years old, I was very ill
Speaker 3: and ended up in the hospital and they diagnosed me
Speaker 3: with a seizure disorder.
Speaker 2: I was just done, What did you mean you were done.
Speaker 3: There was no way out. There's nowhere to go. I
Speaker 3: just really.
Speaker 2: Didn't want to be in that environment.
Speaker 3: I didn't know how to get out. There was just
Speaker 3: not help.
Speaker 2: She saved thirty days of a medication tagridol, an anti
Speaker 2: convulsiant drug, and she took it all at once.
Speaker 3: At the time, I thought I'd be with Matthew, or
Speaker 3: I'd be in some better place. It's kind of hokey now,
Speaker 3: but at the time it seemed like there was probably
Speaker 3: something far better than what was going on.
Speaker 2: She figured a month's worth of the tablets would have
Speaker 2: been enough to kill her, and it should have.
Speaker 3: I woke up to Kathy standing over me, shaking my face, saying,
Speaker 3: oh my god, what have you done now?
Speaker 2: That is not the reaction you'd expect from a mother
Speaker 2: who just discovered her daughter had attempted suicide.
Speaker 3: And all I could think was, Wow, I'm really still here.
Speaker 2: It's remarkable that she survived. Maybe it was luck, maybe
Speaker 2: it was fate. Perhaps she was destined for a greater purpose.
Speaker 2: There was a lot of wrong in Tracy Riquel's childhood,
Speaker 2: enough to break anyone, but for Racy Raquel, her upbringing
Speaker 2: only instilled a strong sense of right and wrong, and
Speaker 2: something with those medical records did not seem right.
Speaker 3: It stays child was thrown from crib by sister. Rather
Speaker 3: than just looking at my own abuse and suffering, I
Speaker 3: took on this whole full thing and I'm going to
Speaker 3: find out what happened to Matthew.
Speaker 2: On the next episode A Burden of Guilt, Tracy Raquel
Speaker 2: persuades an investigator to look into Matthew's debt.
Speaker 3: When someone of great important, just the child that died.
Speaker 4: It's terrible, Yeah, but why would.
Speaker 3: I take it? But Tracy said some things that intrigued.
Speaker 2: Me, and later this season, There's no way.
Speaker 4: In hell that this child died from being pushed out
Speaker 4: of a crib.
Speaker 2: I'm Nancy Glass. That's all coming up on Burden of Guilt.
Speaker 2: Stay tuned for Burden of Guilt, the Doctor documentary, coming
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty four and airing only on Paramount Plus.
Speaker 2: If you would like to reach out to the Burden
Speaker 2: of Guilt team, email us at burdenofguildpodat gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: That's Burden of Guilt Pod at gmail dot com. If
Speaker 2: you or someone you know is worried about maltreatment or
Speaker 2: suspect that a child is being abused or neglected, call
Speaker 2: the Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline. You can call
Speaker 2: or text one eight hundred four a child that's one
Speaker 2: eight hundred four two two four four five three. One
Speaker 2: way to show support is by subscribing to our show
Speaker 2: on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and review
Speaker 2: Burden of Guilt. Five star reviews go a long way.
Speaker 2: A big thank you to all of you who are listening,
Speaker 2: and also be sure to check us out and follow
Speaker 2: us on Instagram at Glass Podcasts, Burden of Guilt is
Speaker 2: a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group,
Speaker 2: in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is hosted and
Speaker 2: executive produced by me Nancy Glass, written and produced by
Speaker 2: Carrie Hartman and Andrea Gunning. Also produced by Ben Fetterman
Speaker 2: and associate producer Kristin Melchiori. Our iHeart team is Ali
Speaker 2: Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Special thanks to Tracy Riquel Burns
Speaker 2: and her husband Bart. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio.
Speaker 2: Burden of Guilt's theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library
Speaker 2: provided by my Music and for more podcasts from iHeart
Speaker 2: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
Speaker 2: your podcasts. Stay tuned for Burden of Guilt, the documentary,
Speaker 2: coming in twenty twenty four and airing only on Paramount
Speaker 2: Plus