Speaker 1: I entered my cotton with tree into a competition, but
Speaker 1: the aspen tree took the title because there are fewer
Speaker 1: of them. Whatever. I didn't realize it was just a
Speaker 1: popularity contest.
Speaker 2: My wife told us that we her family were her
Speaker 2: Christmas present being returned for a refund. Kind of broke
Speaker 2: the holiday magic.
Speaker 1: However, I was Christmas caroling at the psychiatric ward. They
Speaker 1: kicked me out after singing do you hear what I hear?
Speaker 2: What is a transistor?
Speaker 1: A brother? I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's yesterday.
Speaker 1: I'm still not sure why his mom was so angry
Speaker 1: at me.
Speaker 2: What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree
Speaker 2: and an iPad a pineapple?
Speaker 1: I can't stand my neighbors. It's three hundred and sixty
Speaker 1: six days until Christmas and they already have their decorations up.
Speaker 2: Why are their fences around graveyards because people are just
Speaker 2: dying to get in.
Speaker 1: My wife said she was baking whitebread for Christmas, but
Speaker 1: it turned out to be something else. I can't believe
Speaker 1: she would write to me like that.
Speaker 2: What month has twenty eight days?
Speaker 1: All of them hang in there for more laughs and
Speaker 1: groans after this quick announcement. I have a friend who
Speaker 1: worships certain shades of blue. He's a scientologist.
Speaker 2: Santa and his reindeer crashed land on an outhouse. Santa says,
Speaker 2: darn it, Rudolph, I said, the Schmidt house.
Speaker 1: What do you call jedi with no eyes? Jed?
Speaker 2: My wife wasn't happy with me falling asleep constantly on
Speaker 2: Christmas Day. I said, I'm sorry, honey, I can't help it.
Speaker 2: It's in my Irish DNA. My grandfather was narcoleptic.
Speaker 1: My mother told me to add mixed turbs to the
Speaker 1: Christmas stuffing. It was sage advice.
Speaker 2: I really like a woman who's into gravity. It shows
Speaker 2: that she's down to earth.
Speaker 1: Why do dogs float in water because they're good buoies?
Speaker 2: In America children hang stockings by the fireplace for Christmas?
Speaker 2: What did Dutch children put by the fireplace? Wouldn't you
Speaker 2: like to know?
Speaker 1: The lawyer wanted to prove the cement contractor guilty. For that,
Speaker 1: he would need concrete evidence.
Speaker 2: What do you get when cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg, and clove
Speaker 2: wish you happy holidays? Season's greetings. I'm Bob Jeffy and
Speaker 2: I'm Montgomery Jones. You don't want to miss this. There's
Speaker 2: a bonus dad joke waiting for you at the end
Speaker 2: of the episode. Let's spread some happiness or pain with
Speaker 2: these jokes. Wishing you a great day and I'll be
Speaker 2: back with more jokes tomorrow. Thank you for.
Speaker 1: Tuning in, Hey listeners. We have another podcast called Daily
Speaker 1: Shower Thoughts, showcasing random, amusing and mind bending epiphanies. Search
Speaker 1: for Daily Shower Thoughts in your podcast player or check
Speaker 1: the show notes page for more info. Your mind will
Speaker 1: be blown.
Speaker 2: The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
Speaker 2: See the show notes page for social media links and
Speaker 2: joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a
Speaker 2: canned studio audience.
Speaker 1: What do you see to cheese on Christmas? Season's greetings