Speaker 1: Hey, welcome to the podcast. And just a reminder, merch
Speaker 1: for a cause. Okay, proceeds are going to Action against hunger.
Speaker 1: Your cute hoodies, your cute t shirts. You only have
Speaker 1: one week left to buy. Okay, it's not too late yet.
Speaker 1: It's not too late yet. Okay, So it's in the
Speaker 1: show notes, right, all right, in the show notes, follow
Speaker 1: us at Brooke and Jeffrey, and here's your show.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, missing pain, No, I'm missing It's it under
Speaker 2: your thing?
Speaker 3: Have it?
Speaker 2: Is it under you?
Speaker 4: If you tell us what you're looking for?
Speaker 3: Can help?
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, jeff you can't say that.
Speaker 6: You can't.
Speaker 7: It says we're late. Rolls of cinnamon.
Speaker 6: W C I I there is.
Speaker 8: Taped under his laptop.
Speaker 9: But late it's because we gotta do Which clip is it?
Speaker 7: Vitral sound bites?
Speaker 9: Only enough time to play one?
Speaker 7: No more questions, Let's just get.
Speaker 9: To the choices. Your first option is a seven second
Speaker 9: clip of an eight year old girl who's pretty sure
Speaker 9: she knows where babies come from. Or option two is
Speaker 9: a once proud parrot who at this point has serious
Speaker 9: confidence issues from the shame of being rejected by my
Speaker 9: co host time and again. But in spite of all
Speaker 9: the haters and all the mistreatment, he's ready to make
Speaker 9: his glorious radio comeback with a brand new thirty second
Speaker 9: rendition of the Rolling Stones Start Me Up?
Speaker 3: So hurry?
Speaker 9: Is it misinformed Minor or masterful macaw?
Speaker 1: Alexis misinformed minor?
Speaker 7: What is wrong with you?
Speaker 9: No?
Speaker 1: She never got the talk, you guys.
Speaker 8: She needs to hear it.
Speaker 1: She doesn't know how whatever, and I have to play
Speaker 1: it for her.
Speaker 8: The missing for.
Speaker 1: Alexis needsy, I hate. I just don't even know the
Speaker 1: Rolling Stones song?
Speaker 9: All right, Crackers takes it in the shorts again. Let's
Speaker 9: hear the sound of an eight year old girl who's
Speaker 9: pretty sure she knows where babies come from.
Speaker 7: Hey, Peyton, you should ask your dad where babies come from?
Speaker 7: I know?
Speaker 6: Yes? Wrong again?
Speaker 9: Which clipping is it?
Speaker 8: Oh my god?
Speaker 9: I'm your host, Jeffrey Earlyworm Debo. Let's get into the
Speaker 9: shock collar question of the day. We have a bucket
Speaker 9: full of names. We're gonna draw one out to who
Speaker 9: gets asked a trivia question. If you answer wrong, the
Speaker 9: punishment is to be shocked while singing a song. So
Speaker 9: text into seventy five nine to two until s which
Speaker 9: one you would like to hear? Jose, you gotta draw
Speaker 9: a name out because you're the shot call the last
Speaker 9: who get.
Speaker 7: Jose beer nut Milano Nuts?
Speaker 9: Okay, Jose is gonna put on the shot collar while
Speaker 9: that happens, Digital Jay, please read us a shot collar
Speaker 9: question of the day.
Speaker 4: Over the last forty years, information has been collected and
Speaker 4: stored in something called the J Archive. As of last
Speaker 4: count there are more than four hundred thousand entries on there,
Speaker 4: and normal people from around the globe come together to
Speaker 4: add to it. It's a free service that's easily accessible
Speaker 4: on the Internet, and it's updated exactly five times a week.
Speaker 4: What kind of information would you find in the J Archive?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 9: The J Archive? Okay?
Speaker 1: And over four hundred thousand. I mean my first thought
Speaker 1: is what does J stand for?
Speaker 8: Right? Like journalism Archive?
Speaker 1: But those are already archived by the papers and the
Speaker 1: news stations.
Speaker 7: The archive themselves.
Speaker 8: And why would you need to update it five times
Speaker 8: a week? I know that's a lot.
Speaker 5: Monday through Friday, you're updating it.
Speaker 8: Well, it's like really precise.
Speaker 7: Well, I mean, there's a reason people do it, right,
Speaker 7: wouldn't they want to make money? Or is it just
Speaker 7: to help society.
Speaker 1: I mean over four hundred thousand entries, he said, and
Speaker 1: anyone can submit to it, which means it can't be
Speaker 1: something too smart.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, instructions for brain surgery.
Speaker 1: Oh, but instructions aren't bad. What if the jarchive is
Speaker 1: instruction manuals for different.
Speaker 7: House old I don't like for people to help.
Speaker 1: How you use your vacuum cleaner. Here's the instruction manual.
Speaker 9: So what would JA stand for?
Speaker 6: Then?
Speaker 1: Maybe Jay's a dude who started it, like Craig from Craigslist.
Speaker 7: Oh, it's the name.
Speaker 9: Looked at the question one more time.
Speaker 4: The j Archive has been around for forty years and
Speaker 4: is growing five days a week by the help of
Speaker 4: people from all over the globe. It's free to access it,
Speaker 4: and many people love it, although one famous celebrity was
Speaker 4: told of its existence and then was quoted as saying, really,
Speaker 4: get a life, people, What kind of information would you
Speaker 4: find in the Jarchive?
Speaker 7: No, it's not that useful. It's it's silly and stupid,
Speaker 7: like a meme archive.
Speaker 8: But it was a celebrity who said it.
Speaker 9: Or maybe it's like an archive talking about celebrities, like oh,
Speaker 9: I ran into this celebrity and they were a jerk
Speaker 9: and it's all the archives.
Speaker 1: K archive like a like and people post and they're
Speaker 1: just negative stories about collecting stories if you're serveral, celebrity
Speaker 1: or jerk.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I met buck Fox and she only tipped me
Speaker 9: one hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: Scam a scam? What do you mean a scam?
Speaker 9: Like a list of scams.
Speaker 8: Or conspiracy theories?
Speaker 1: I mean, if we're going to talk about a.
Speaker 8: Wage time.
Speaker 9: Suggestions from anybody to give a Jurassic archive where they
Speaker 9: find But what.
Speaker 1: If it's some sort of movie archive that you know,
Speaker 1: how like people like to keep track of every butt
Speaker 1: scene or every kind of like the junk Archive. I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's it gough archive. I have that.
Speaker 8: Friendly How excites do you just say?
Speaker 1: There's a lot of let's just gets naked?
Speaker 9: Give us an answer? What do you think?
Speaker 6: Ever?
Speaker 1: You guys, that's what happens there.
Speaker 9: It's a happy place until you get on it, right
Speaker 9: love the dark web? What do you think?
Speaker 7: I think?
Speaker 9: I'm going to go with the Jay stands for jerk
Speaker 9: and it's the jerk archives where people will talk crab about.
Speaker 4: The j Archive as of this writing, has four hundred
Speaker 4: and twenty one thousand and forty entries, the first of
Speaker 4: which came in the early eighties. It's grown so much
Speaker 4: over the years that companies like IBM utilize it and
Speaker 4: admit their AI computer Watson wouldn't be possible without it.
Speaker 4: Every weekday, that's five days a week. In the early evenings,
Speaker 4: the new entries start to roll into the j archive
Speaker 4: because it's the number one most comprehensive database. Four every
Speaker 4: Jeopardy clue ever broadcast on TV, and the celebrity who
Speaker 4: said get a life was none other than Alex Trebek.
Speaker 1: Question ever funny that the smart people in this room.
Speaker 1: I've never been to it, but yeah, idea, we.
Speaker 9: Didn't get it right. And so somebody wanted to hear
Speaker 9: the song dance Monkey by Tones and I jose get shocked.
Speaker 3: Dance from a dance from a dance For me, I've
Speaker 3: never seen anybody do the things you do.
Speaker 8: I didn't like that.
Speaker 1: I know I used.
Speaker 8: To like it.
Speaker 9: Not you're singing it in the back of a van.
Speaker 9: Shock Collar.
Speaker 6: Question of the day, Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9: Guys, it's free phone Friday.
Speaker 8: I don't know what a giving away phone.
Speaker 9: It's where we get to know each other better through
Speaker 9: the use of our phones. And the people who were
Speaker 9: pre selected to participate today were Jose and Alexis. So
Speaker 9: two of you get your phones out, put in your password,
Speaker 9: open them up, and then swap phones. All right, once
Speaker 9: you guys have passed it to each other, you're gonna
Speaker 9: have exactly one minute to look through whatever you want
Speaker 9: on there and tell us anything interesting that you find
Speaker 9: about the other person.
Speaker 7: It's one minute.
Speaker 9: It's only one minute looking How much filth do you
Speaker 9: think she could possibly uncover in one minute? All right,
Speaker 9: so here we go.
Speaker 6: Go comforble.
Speaker 9: No, don't say anything until the music is done. This
Speaker 9: is your chance to look. Okay, Brook, what do you
Speaker 9: think they're gonna.
Speaker 5: Find on they're both technologically inempt.
Speaker 1: I think both are going to find inappropriate pictures.
Speaker 9: Oh I was thinking maybe on Jose's phone, but Alexis
Speaker 9: is probably getting mostly like Fisher Price games, Sesame.
Speaker 1: Street Chat checker, DMS in Instagram.
Speaker 9: I feel like.
Speaker 7: Because I don't know how to back out.
Speaker 9: Truly, I didn't expect that much complaining.
Speaker 1: It's like old people trying to work on Its just
Speaker 1: a lot of back up.
Speaker 9: One ute is up Alexis. I know that you could
Speaker 9: barely figure this out, But tell us the one most
Speaker 9: interesting thing you saw or read on Jose's phone.
Speaker 5: They has hundreds of unopened snaptot messages and I am
Speaker 5: one of them from days ago, and he has not
Speaker 5: opened any of them.
Speaker 9: Male or female?
Speaker 1: Can you tell it's obviously female?
Speaker 4: Endless?
Speaker 9: Jose is either really popular into some really shady dealings. Jose,
Speaker 9: what did you find the one most interesting thing on
Speaker 9: Alexis's phone?
Speaker 7: Interesting fact that I found was that you are texting
Speaker 7: a million girls as well, and you have not hooked
Speaker 7: me up with one of these ladies. It's like on
Speaker 7: Sue Soon.
Speaker 9: Keep in touch with my family.
Speaker 7: Tom's mom. I don't know.
Speaker 1: You, mom, She messaged me okay, sent me.
Speaker 9: Chocolate before you pass it back. To make sure you
Speaker 9: forward yourself some of those contacts so you can reach
Speaker 9: out to them. But make sure to join us next
Speaker 9: week and we're gonna try Tinder match. Mondays, you guys
Speaker 9: will exchange phones and check out potential matches and conversations.
Speaker 7: I think I have Pat.
Speaker 9: Don't have time for that film. Laser story wants to
Speaker 9: give my kids Laser stories. Brook. It's coming up next.
Speaker 9: It's the radio segment that brought a swear jar to
Speaker 9: Samuel L. Jackson's birthday party and he made sixty thousand dollars.
Speaker 9: That was just off Julia Roberts. Wow, it's laser Stories,
Speaker 9: the segment where we read weird news stories around the glove,
Speaker 9: just like everyone else does, except we have a laser
Speaker 9: and those other plane snakes just don't. This first laser
Speaker 9: story is out of Colorado. A hunting party in the
Speaker 9: Colorado Wilderness contacted authorities when one of their guys didn't
Speaker 9: return to camp. Scary night was closing in and they
Speaker 9: were incredibly concerned, seeing that they were camping off trail
Speaker 9: in a swampy, dense area some big testicles to pull.
Speaker 7: This does sound fun.
Speaker 9: The authorities began a scouting mission but couldn't find him.
Speaker 9: Then a black Hawk helicopter took off the next day
Speaker 9: and searched for hours.
Speaker 8: Oh my god.
Speaker 9: The crew was about to give up when they noticed something.
Speaker 9: A man with a backpack was in a clearing looking
Speaker 9: up towards the copter, but according to the pilot, he
Speaker 9: wasn't in distress. He was just waving high.
Speaker 7: I got to see. A helicopter saw that, and they left.
Speaker 8: They left.
Speaker 9: Only problem is that really was the lost hunter.
Speaker 10: Oh?
Speaker 9: Thankfully ground crews were able to find the man.
Speaker 1: Shortly afterward, a helicopter was thrown up a peace sign like, yeah,
Speaker 1: cool man.
Speaker 9: He was cold and dehydrated, and the reason he said
Speaker 9: he wasn't jumping around when help arrived was because he
Speaker 9: was exhausted.
Speaker 7: Now makes sense.
Speaker 1: At least he could wave both arms like.
Speaker 7: Oh, this guy's sleeping, let's not bother him. He just
Speaker 7: passed out.
Speaker 9: The crew thinks the man is at fault, though, saying,
Speaker 9: if you're lost in the woods and a rescue helicopter spots,
Speaker 9: you don't give a friendly one handed high wave. Come on,
Speaker 9: aggressively move both of your arms above your head like
Speaker 9: your life depends on it. Yeah, that's like you want
Speaker 9: to be sald I don't agree.
Speaker 1: I don't agree.
Speaker 10: He wasn't.
Speaker 1: I mean, he couldn't have been that tired. It hadn't
Speaker 1: even been twenty four hours.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1: I could understand. Maybe after seven days he.
Speaker 8: Did to pick up both his arms.
Speaker 2: But come on, no, wait, one controversy continues.
Speaker 9: Let's go to your next laser story. Out of North Carolina,
Speaker 9: a guy named Omar Cory runs a small IT company,
Speaker 9: but had a lot of free time on his hands
Speaker 9: early in the pandemic. So what did he do with it?
Speaker 9: He decided to start answering all the telemarketer calls that
Speaker 9: he got so that he could sue them.
Speaker 8: Sue them.
Speaker 1: You hearing about these people and they're making bank doing it.
Speaker 9: Last year we reported on a guy from Texas who
Speaker 9: did the same thing and made seventy five thousand dollars
Speaker 9: in a year.
Speaker 1: WHOA, it's crazy.
Speaker 9: But for Omar, like a lot of us, he's on
Speaker 9: the do not call list, so they're technically not allowed
Speaker 9: to call him. Most people don't jump through all the
Speaker 9: hoops to actually do anything about it, though, Oh ye,
Speaker 9: I'm on.
Speaker 1: The do not call list. Who am I starting to sue?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 9: He says he wouldn't suggest other people try this because
Speaker 9: it was basically like a full time job, but he
Speaker 9: ended up getting settlements from twenty to thirty different companies
Speaker 9: for a grand total of around one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 9: That is worth it anyway. Now Omar's figured out what
Speaker 9: he wants to do with all that money. He just
Speaker 9: bought a bar in downtown Winston Salem and he's calling
Speaker 9: it the wrong number. Oh my god, I love it story.
Speaker 9: He's going to do a soft open next month, and
Speaker 9: he's really staying on theme with it. A lot of
Speaker 9: the spam calls that he got came from debt companies.
Speaker 9: So the drink menu is going to include one called
Speaker 9: debt Relief It and another one called car Warranty.
Speaker 1: I had a scam teenie.
Speaker 9: Go check it out. This next one's out of invention headquarters. Cool,
Speaker 9: a company in Japan, has come up with a new
Speaker 9: innovation called moo Talk talk like a mashup of mute
Speaker 9: and talk.
Speaker 7: Oh.
Speaker 1: I thought it was something where we're going to finally
Speaker 1: figure out what cows were saying.
Speaker 7: That's amazing, Brook, I actually want that.
Speaker 9: I'm gonna have to wait a little longer for that.
Speaker 9: This is for loud talkers who can't keep their voice
Speaker 9: down when they make calls.
Speaker 1: Okay, is this directed to me? You were just complaining
Speaker 1: about me calling my husband out in the open office
Speaker 1: area every day.
Speaker 7: I'm also very loud.
Speaker 9: Basically, it's a new Bluetooth mouthpiece that straps to your face,
Speaker 9: over and around your mouth.
Speaker 1: It's like a muzzle.
Speaker 9: It muffles your voice for phone calls in public.
Speaker 1: It looks like a VR headset that goes around your mouth.
Speaker 7: It really does perfect description.
Speaker 9: Big and bulky, goes over your mouth, and when it's
Speaker 9: on your face, it creates an air pressure pocket that
Speaker 9: prevents sound from escaping through the airhole.
Speaker 1: O can we please?
Speaker 9: We should because people who are around others who use
Speaker 9: it apparently say they love it because they can't hear
Speaker 9: their coworkers endless over the top chatter about their daughter's
Speaker 9: missing purple pants.
Speaker 8: Specifically what the call was.
Speaker 9: Oh, I wasn't talking about you there, bro. That must
Speaker 9: have just been a wear a coincidence.
Speaker 1: He needs the pants for the outfit.
Speaker 9: It just we all heard anyway. The makers say it
Speaker 9: lowers the volume of your voice by twenty decibels or
Speaker 9: thirty for really loud talkers, so even someone right next
Speaker 9: to you couldn't make out what you were saying.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you can tell all sorts of secrets
Speaker 1: and oh you can talk it in front of them.
Speaker 1: Kind of evil.
Speaker 9: They're not available for purchase yet, but they should start
Speaker 9: shipping in a few months for around one hundred and
Speaker 9: forty dollars. Personally, I hope these catch on because they
Speaker 9: look funny and I just want to laugh at people.
Speaker 9: This next Lazer stories out of the Tucson of Emoticons.
Speaker 9: Like the City, emojis provide a feel for messages that
Speaker 9: words can't always convey. But do you form an opinion
Speaker 9: about people based on the emojis that they like to use?
Speaker 9: Chains should happen?
Speaker 5: It's stupid people keep happening to me.
Speaker 9: Adobe just released the results of a big study they
Speaker 9: did on emojis, and it includes lists of the ones
Speaker 9: that make people more and less likable when they're flirting
Speaker 9: or dating. Right, I use a lot of emojis. So
Speaker 9: the three that make you the most likable are the
Speaker 9: face blowing a kiss, the smiling face with hearts, and
Speaker 9: the smiling face with heart eyes.
Speaker 7: All right, a constantly used.
Speaker 9: The three that make you the least likable are the
Speaker 9: pile of.
Speaker 1: Pooh oh, yeah, how is that flirting?
Speaker 9: The angry yellow face, and of course the eggplant.
Speaker 7: Okay, yeah, those are all obvious.
Speaker 9: Just be careful when you're asking someone if they want
Speaker 9: to go and get some eggplant parmesan for dinner.
Speaker 8: Man, I hate you now.
Speaker 9: Using emojis is generally a good thing whenever you're flirting
Speaker 9: more than half of adults forty in younger say they'd
Speaker 9: be more likely to go on a second or third
Speaker 9: date with someone if they use them.
Speaker 7: Yeah, maybe I won't.
Speaker 1: Go off you don't use them? Doesn't it feel too direct?
Speaker 8: And I mean, like, are just cold if they don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just mad at you.
Speaker 7: It adds so much to a text.
Speaker 9: It's funny. Alexa said that because among gen z ors,
Speaker 9: thirty eight percent say they would absolutely not pursue a
Speaker 9: serious or long term relationship with someone who does not
Speaker 9: use emojis.
Speaker 7: Yeah, like if you just say have a good day,
Speaker 7: that sounds like it's a backhanded thing now, But if
Speaker 7: you say have a good day smiley face.
Speaker 1: You're like, okay, the hearts around it.
Speaker 9: Yeah, it isn't all flirting, though. Thirty two percent of
Speaker 9: young adults say someone they were dating used an emoji
Speaker 9: to into relationship with them. Wow, seems high. Not even
Speaker 9: just a breakup text, a breakup emojima.
Speaker 8: That's so sad.
Speaker 9: The heartbreak emoji. Okayah. Regardless, emojis are so big nowadays,
Speaker 9: half of users are more likely to respond if a
Speaker 9: message contains an emoji. I know this guy is just
Speaker 9: hoping that they make a turtle on a Nike emoji
Speaker 9: very specific. It's way easier to send that than actually
Speaker 9: ask a shoe out. That sound means the Laser Stories
Speaker 9: has come to an end for the day. We'll do
Speaker 9: it again, same time.
Speaker 6: On Monday, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9: We got an email from a listener the other day
Speaker 9: that gave me hope. Hey, we got hope, guys world,
Speaker 9: hope's in the building. Hope they're here for a long time.
Speaker 9: Things are changing. But let's get serious for a second.
Speaker 9: Because this listener said that they heard something on our
Speaker 9: show involving Jose that inspired them. Whoa okay, a little
Speaker 9: bit thick.
Speaker 1: This didn't come from like one of the prisons or anything,
Speaker 1: because we do get a lot of prison mails.
Speaker 9: It's not one of those. This is just a regular
Speaker 9: listener who decided, you know what, I need to do
Speaker 9: more than just listen, I need to try some of
Speaker 9: this stuff in my real life. And they did. They
Speaker 9: tried something that they heard on our show and then
Speaker 9: sent us proof of what happened.
Speaker 1: Is it part of a lawsuit?
Speaker 9: It's not. I really think that our listeners and everyone
Speaker 9: in studio is going to get a kick out of
Speaker 9: this and maybe even put a little hope into your life.
Speaker 9: Kids are into it. We're gonna do it. Coming up,
Speaker 9: we have to wait.
Speaker 1: Yes, didn't you hear our studio audience of twelve year olds.
Speaker 9: I don't know about you, guys, but rarely do listeners
Speaker 9: reach out to me.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I am sorry.
Speaker 9: It might be because I don't check my emails or
Speaker 9: my social media. Maybe they do.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 9: But someone said that they heard something on our show
Speaker 9: and it inspired them to do it themselves. Okay, I'm shocking.
Speaker 9: I know.
Speaker 1: It's like my first thought is actually idiotic. Why don't
Speaker 1: you follow in our footsteps?
Speaker 9: But you know, like recently, another listener said I heard
Speaker 9: something on your show that involved Jose and tried it myself.
Speaker 9: Here's how it went. The guy's name is Dustin. He's
Speaker 9: twenty eight years old, and Dustin goes on to say
Speaker 9: he hasn't had the best of luck with attractive women. Okay,
Speaker 9: that's an interesting statement, Brooke. What's your take on that?
Speaker 8: What do you mean.
Speaker 9: When someone says I don't have good luck with attractive women?
Speaker 8: I'm sorry, I don't know.
Speaker 1: That sucks attracting people you're attracted to, then you know
Speaker 1: you got to fix that.
Speaker 9: I agree with you needs to fix himself. I think
Speaker 9: you're just the way that you are. But Dustin goes
Speaker 9: on to say, in the land of dating apps, he
Speaker 9: knew that he needed a new strategy for approaching things,
Speaker 9: and that's when he tuned in one morning and heard
Speaker 9: Jose give him a little bit of hope.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a funny guy.
Speaker 9: That's a statement you rarely hear. What's your take on that.
Speaker 1: I think Jose is a really funny guy. Like I
Speaker 1: think humor can make up for any sort of attractive stuff.
Speaker 9: Dustin might be in the same boat. And his emails
Speaker 9: pretty long because he attached screenshots of the text conversations
Speaker 9: he's been having with one young lady who he describes
Speaker 9: as being significantly out of his league. And I'll show
Speaker 9: you a picture of Dustin because he sent a picture
Speaker 9: of himself in a screenshot of the girl that he's
Speaker 9: chatting with. Two. Her name is Tatiana. So there she
Speaker 9: is and there's Dustin.
Speaker 8: Is she real?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, it looks like his passport photo is.
Speaker 9: Tatiana looks like a model though, and Dustin said he
Speaker 9: was intimidated and nervous until he tried using vegetable puns
Speaker 9: to make her because if you remember, we did a
Speaker 9: segment about a month ago where I took Jose's phone
Speaker 9: and messaged women for him on a dating app, and
Speaker 9: with one very pretty lady, we tried catching her attention
Speaker 9: by texting a bunch of vegetable puns, which Brooke absolutely hated.
Speaker 9: And that's exactly what Dustin did, because he sent us
Speaker 9: the texts.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to read them to you.
Speaker 9: I remind I'm reminding you this is a loyal listener
Speaker 9: of ours, so please do not rip him mercilessly. So anyway,
Speaker 9: Dustin replied to the prompt on Tatiana's profile that said,
Speaker 9: let's debate this topic. Best nachos in the city? Oh great,
Speaker 9: and so he wrote, you don't know. I guess it's
Speaker 9: nacho fault. You don't know the best place like I did.
Speaker 9: I mean, And that's when Tatiana, the woman who's out
Speaker 9: of his league, remember, actually matched with him and sent
Speaker 9: a smiley face. You know what that is, Brooke, that's
Speaker 9: the door opening this why yes, door romancy can fair?
Speaker 8: Is it just the light coming through?
Speaker 9: Just the light Dustin suggests a nacho comparison date, her
Speaker 9: favorite nacho spot versus his favorite nacho spot, and no response.
Speaker 9: Oh okay, rule of thumb. If brook loves it, it's
Speaker 9: going to fail. Reason why there was no funny puns
Speaker 9: in there.
Speaker 8: Ye okay.
Speaker 9: Yeah, but he's learned to not give up and when
Speaker 9: all else fails, go back to puns and making her laugh.
Speaker 9: Does his next message say Okay, clearly you don't like
Speaker 9: the nacho comparison date, and I don't blame you ridiculous idea.
Speaker 9: We need to focus on vegetables for our hangout, hopefully
Speaker 9: a date that can be unbeatable.
Speaker 8: Okay, so.
Speaker 1: Something it's the easiest of the vegetable pun.
Speaker 9: He goes on something that's not been there, done that, emojila.
Speaker 9: I promise to Romayne, calm let us emoji while I
Speaker 9: wait for your response. Two days later, no response. Dustin
Speaker 9: didn't give up. He's the rudy of our dating world.
Speaker 9: So he tries one last line, Okay, I give up.
Speaker 9: I'm kaling it a day, And at that point Tatiana replies.
Speaker 9: She says, She says, haha, you are on a roll.
Speaker 9: Not show comparison date sounds hilarious success very often, but
Speaker 9: he's got her back now. So Justin responds, let's set
Speaker 9: a time. I'll bring clipboards and we can review the
Speaker 9: nots in ten different categories. She hearts that, but doesn't
Speaker 9: respond for the entire weekend, so Dustin waits three more
Speaker 9: days and goes back to the.
Speaker 1: Well, does he set a date like as in a dr.
Speaker 9: Prune that's able? He says, no response, Is it because
Speaker 9: you're a vegetarian. If it is, it's a huge missed
Speaker 9: steak and puts a steak emoji.
Speaker 1: Okay, my fruit's not good, but his okay, because it's okay.
Speaker 9: Admittedly, Dustin does get a little bit desperate here and writes, oh, man,
Speaker 9: what the hell am I doing here? Bread emoji? I
Speaker 9: know I'm butter back off, butter emoji. Hope to hear
Speaker 9: from you again so we can catch up.
Speaker 1: Okay, Now, it's like a one trick pony.
Speaker 8: Was going to give us hope.
Speaker 9: And after that, Tatiana replies, Haha, wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 8: Yes, a date.
Speaker 9: Well, they don't have a date. Yes, so we can't
Speaker 9: call this a victory at the moment, but he has
Speaker 9: agreed to keep us updated on what happens next, and
Speaker 9: hopefully he knows we're all rooting for him. I think
Speaker 9: the big question here, Brooke, is will he stick with
Speaker 9: veggies or is he going to move on to something
Speaker 9: else like cheese punts.
Speaker 1: Maybe this girl is interested. Oh yeah, I mean she's certain,
Speaker 1: she's entertained, and I think that it gives him the
Speaker 1: confidence that he needs, because that's what he's last.
Speaker 9: You know what, Dustin, if you want to move on
Speaker 9: to cheese puns cheddar luck next time. I believe in you.
Speaker 9: Phone taps coming up.
Speaker 6: Next, Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9: We're running out of time, so I can only tell
Speaker 9: you the bullet points of the phone tap that it's
Speaker 9: about to air. Okay, woman, cell phone problem, Yeah, Brook,
Speaker 9: bad helper?
Speaker 1: Wait what laughter?
Speaker 9: Phone tap right now?
Speaker 1: Yay?
Speaker 7: I love it, we need it.
Speaker 1: You think I tried to be a good helper, but
Speaker 1: you decide for yourself.
Speaker 9: Mornings on the twenties.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, this is Patty Melt calling from wireless. I'm
Speaker 1: looking for Britney.
Speaker 11: Oh my gosh, Yes, it's me.
Speaker 1: I'm calling regarding it could play to email us about Yeah.
Speaker 10: Sorry, it's hard to hear because it keeps cutting out
Speaker 10: but that is actually the whole problem with my phone.
Speaker 11: Oh but I think what you.
Speaker 10: Were asking, Yeah, my phone, like my calls keep dropping
Speaker 10: out for some reason, and it's been happening for like
Speaker 10: a week at it so annoying.
Speaker 1: I'm taking notes right now. Yeah, okay, and don't worry.
Speaker 1: We are the number one service. We're gonna get this
Speaker 1: cleaned up, splicety lit.
Speaker 11: Yeah, okay, that'll be great because this has been extremely
Speaker 11: frustrating or.
Speaker 1: Is it lickety split? You know, sometimes I just get
Speaker 1: things turned around. So let me go over some prompt
Speaker 1: questions for people who are dealing with the same thing,
Speaker 1: because apparently it's happening a lot in your area. First question,
Speaker 1: what medications are you on?
Speaker 11: What medications?
Speaker 12: Uh?
Speaker 10: Huh, I think that's a breach of medical like privacy.
Speaker 11: I don't know why you need to know that.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm not a doctor. There's no hippocratic hypocritic, whatever
Speaker 1: that oath is, I don't take it. Yeah, I'm just
Speaker 1: wondering if you're on anything you know, a small percentage
Speaker 1: of our cust stomers or on hallucinogenics.
Speaker 10: Okay, I'm not on hallucinogenics. I'm not like hallucinating that
Speaker 10: I've called to cutting out.
Speaker 1: Well that's good because you know some of our customers
Speaker 1: just imagine it.
Speaker 11: So are you curious right now?
Speaker 1: Yeah? We did a study in twenty eighteen that found
Speaker 1: a small percentage of people thought they had drop calls
Speaker 1: had actually exposed themselves to mine altering substances.
Speaker 11: How does that have to do with anything? Oh, that's
Speaker 11: your question again.
Speaker 1: It's just a small percentage of people. Something I have
Speaker 1: to ask. It's my job.
Speaker 11: Okay, great, I'm not high. Can we move on to
Speaker 11: the next question?
Speaker 1: Not high on anything interesting? Okay? Yes, got it? And
Speaker 1: next question? Do you own or rent a hairless pet?
Speaker 10: Do I own or rent a hairless cat?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 3: Pet?
Speaker 1: Pet?
Speaker 8: Pet?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Maybe an iguana, lizard, sphinx dog?
Speaker 8: I mean cat?
Speaker 1: Does count?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Would weasel? No?
Speaker 11: I don't own a hairless pet. Okay, what does this
Speaker 11: have to do with my phone?
Speaker 1: That's a great question, and I do have an answer
Speaker 1: for you. See one study done in nineteen ninety three
Speaker 1: found that cell phone companies with households that had one
Speaker 1: or more hairless pets could possibly disrupt cell coverage in
Speaker 1: warm climbate areas. Isn't that fascinating.
Speaker 11: No, it's really not and it's not relevant, and.
Speaker 10: I don't know why you're talking about this.
Speaker 1: Well that study would say differently, but.
Speaker 10: Well, I'm not undrugged and I don't have any hairless cats.
Speaker 10: So that's one of the actual phone stuff.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is the phone stuff. We have about two
Speaker 1: hundred and thirty five questions to go.
Speaker 11: Oh my god, No, I don't have time for this.
Speaker 1: Okay, I hear you. You know what, I'm going to
Speaker 1: speed it up for you. We can just get to
Speaker 1: the second subset of questions, Oh my god, do you
Speaker 1: own a cell phone?
Speaker 11: The question is do I have a cell phone? Even
Speaker 11: though the whole reason.
Speaker 10: I called is because of my cell phone issues and
Speaker 10: I'm literally talking to you on my cell phone.
Speaker 1: Well, in a study done in two thousand and three, wait,
Speaker 1: zero zero zero six y five percent of people who
Speaker 1: called in to complain about cell phones didn't actually own it.
Speaker 10: And that's what you're starting because this question, this has
Speaker 10: like nothing to do with my phone.
Speaker 11: Can we please fix my phone?
Speaker 8: Okay?
Speaker 1: I think this next question will get to the bottom of.
Speaker 11: It, so I highly doubt that.
Speaker 1: So do you or a close relative currently live above
Speaker 1: or near an old radioactive dumpy ground or now unabandoned
Speaker 1: silver mine.
Speaker 11: I'm done, though. You don't talk to a manager.
Speaker 10: No, I don't live above a mine or a dumping ground.
Speaker 11: No, I need to talk to a manager. This is horrible.
Speaker 1: Okay, I completely understand the last are you. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: did a study back in twenty twelve that found.
Speaker 11: No no more studies. I don't care.
Speaker 1: It did find that no one lived near those things.
Speaker 9: I don't care.
Speaker 10: I don't care what they found. I don't want to
Speaker 10: hear any more facts or statistics.
Speaker 11: I want my phone fixed.
Speaker 1: Oh so you don't want to hear my last question.
Speaker 11: No, I don't want to hear any more questions. I
Speaker 11: was just stupid.
Speaker 1: I was going to ask if you listen to Brook
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the morning. What because this is actually
Speaker 1: a phone tap, it's a brank phone call.
Speaker 11: Oh my god, here.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is actually Brooke.
Speaker 7: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 11: I was about to throw my phone in the trash.
Speaker 1: Well, you could thank your husband for that, because he's
Speaker 1: the one that set you up for this brank phone call.
Speaker 11: I'm going to kill him.
Speaker 10: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, I actually can't help you with this body. Cell
Speaker 1: coverage I don't know if you could hear that, but
Speaker 1: unless you want to hear about a study we did
Speaker 1: in nineteen ninety four on albino penguins using cell phones
Speaker 1: as flotation devices.
Speaker 11: No, no, no, please please?
Speaker 6: The week up every morning was phone tap weekday mornings
Speaker 6: on the twenties, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, Alexis.
Speaker 9: I'm curious, when you're on a dating app, on average,
Speaker 9: how many matches do you get in a week? Like
Speaker 9: fourteen fifteen thousand?
Speaker 5: They didn't feel good. I mean, I don't know if
Speaker 5: I match with all. I'm picky about who I actually
Speaker 5: matched with.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm saying how many people are like matching on you?
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 8: I don't count.
Speaker 1: I don't really just say a number. I don't know.
Speaker 5: I guess fifteen thousand, Like jeff said.
Speaker 9: Just fifteen thousand. Do you need help? Maybe you should
Speaker 9: try mother filter or something like throwing a second pair
Speaker 9: of fake eye. Yet, just imagine if you're the type
Speaker 9: of woman who constantly gets bombarded with thirsty messages on
Speaker 9: the rag.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, and if you're just a female.
Speaker 9: Well yeah, the uper echelon, Like, how could a regular
Speaker 9: guy possibly compete in a c full of eligible bachelor's. Well,
Speaker 9: one of our listeners says he used one single gift
Speaker 9: that made him instantly stand out from the pack, and
Speaker 9: it even got him a date with a woman way
Speaker 9: out of his lead. Let me know, because I'm going
Speaker 9: to say this gift, well, he's actually gonna share his
Speaker 9: secret move. It's coming up in second date update right
Speaker 9: after this second Date update. When I was thirteen years old,
Speaker 9: this is true, I recorded an original song called Reach
Speaker 9: for the Sky, which the sky.
Speaker 1: I can't believe. We've gotten to a point where you
Speaker 1: willingly playing this.
Speaker 9: It's dead last on iTunes currently. But the thing is,
Speaker 9: the underlying message of this song is no matter what
Speaker 9: you do in life, you should aim high, shoot for
Speaker 9: the stars. Even if you're a weird, little sheltered Jewish boy.
Speaker 9: What's the worst that could happen?
Speaker 7: I wish we could just hear more of it without
Speaker 7: us talking.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Good thing is.
Speaker 9: Even though that mantra didn't really work out so well
Speaker 9: for me, because here I am in the dying industry
Speaker 9: of terrestrial radio, Luckily it did work for one of
Speaker 9: our listeners named Brett, who says he shot for the
Speaker 9: moon in his dating life and it may have actually
Speaker 9: worked out for and so let's let's talk to him
Speaker 9: right now, Brett. How's it going, man?
Speaker 3: Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1: Guy?
Speaker 9: Oh man, you've been young Jeffrey Fans you're single years
Speaker 9: ago and now you're reaching for the stars or what.
Speaker 1: He's the one person that download.
Speaker 9: But then immediately deleted it before it even finished.
Speaker 3: That's all right, dude, I got respect. Like it's true,
Speaker 3: like I do, like I choot for the moon, like
Speaker 3: I'm always looking for the best for the stars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what does that mean in your dating life?
Speaker 3: Well, that's what I mean, you know, Like, so when
Speaker 3: I'm dating, like, I love the challenge of trying to
Speaker 3: get with somebody that's just completely beautiful, knowing that like
Speaker 3: I don't really deserve them.
Speaker 9: Well, tell us about the challenging woman that you met.
Speaker 3: Our names Hannah and I matched a ten.
Speaker 9: Like, good for you? How do you? How do you
Speaker 9: land a ten? What was your secret?
Speaker 3: Well it's almost like, you know, so I go into
Speaker 3: like my laboratory and just like your.
Speaker 1: Lab, you have a lab this okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So I'm like, I try to be witty
Speaker 3: with her. I make some jokes and I guess the
Speaker 3: term is courting, but like with somebody who's that gorgeous,
Speaker 3: it's worth it to work for her attention.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like it's worth it for anyone that
Speaker 1: you're interested in. It doesn't have to be only worth
Speaker 1: it for tens. But okay, so it.
Speaker 9: Sounds like their attention. It sounds like you used some
Speaker 9: like witty, interesting humor on her and that got her attention.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like she did respond with me, but it
Speaker 3: was kind of hit or miss. I wasn't always getting
Speaker 3: a response from her. And granted I was a little
Speaker 3: corny sometimes, but like I was genuine.
Speaker 1: Oh, give us an example. Can I hear an example
Speaker 1: of something you would have said to her?
Speaker 9: Well, you know, it just wants to be sweet talk
Speaker 9: to rights.
Speaker 3: I told her that she had pretty eyes.
Speaker 9: Oh man, a lot. Where's the funny part that come
Speaker 9: from your laboratory?
Speaker 1: It's not mixing with a lot of chemicals.
Speaker 3: Well, so, like I sent her a gift of like
Speaker 3: Steve Mashimi.
Speaker 9: That is actually was funny. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So finally, like we get to the point where
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, hey, you and me dinner Saturday night?
Speaker 7: Right?
Speaker 1: Did it happen?
Speaker 3: And you know, I'm sitting there kind of like waiting
Speaker 3: a while, and it's just after a while she's just like, no.
Speaker 1: Oh, turn down.
Speaker 3: What well? I was back to my laboratory and then
Speaker 3: like they're like thirty minutes, I get another text. She
Speaker 3: says no Sunday, six pm. And I'm like, okay, heya.
Speaker 1: So she said no, but then she said yes, she's
Speaker 1: trying to be funny.
Speaker 3: She said no to Saturday, and then half an hour
Speaker 3: later she said, I can do Sunday.
Speaker 9: There we go, not.
Speaker 1: Quite worthy of a Saturday night, but that's you know,
Speaker 1: you're getting your foot in the door.
Speaker 9: Date is the date? So what did you end up doing?
Speaker 3: Well? So I said all right, so sushi? Okay, all right,
Speaker 3: and then she responds like immediately like no, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: Did she give a suggestion or do you just have
Speaker 1: to keep going down the list of different foods?
Speaker 3: No? But half an hour later, another half an hour later,
Speaker 3: she suggests the place that's by her apartment.
Speaker 1: Okay, she just bossing you around telling you whatever. Yeah, yes, ma'am,
Speaker 1: it's a power move for sure.
Speaker 9: Oh yeah, so you ended up going out to a restaurant.
Speaker 3: Yes, we did.
Speaker 8: What was that like?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: So like I was so nervous when I got there
Speaker 3: like half an hour early, and I had them like
Speaker 3: set up the whole table because like I wanted everything
Speaker 3: to like look perfect. When she got there and she
Speaker 3: comes in, she also she like does not disappoint. She
Speaker 3: is every bit of amazing as she looks in her pictures.
Speaker 1: And great conversation, she only says no, yeah.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 3: She walks in and I greet her with the table
Speaker 3: and everything, and she says we need to move the
Speaker 3: table that she can't sit there.
Speaker 8: What.
Speaker 9: Wow, you specifically chose the best table in the house,
Speaker 9: didn't you.
Speaker 3: Well I thought I did, but she had her reasons.
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't know. I just wanted to make
Speaker 3: her comfortab So I was like, no problem, We'll move
Speaker 3: the table. And I asked her if we could, like,
Speaker 3: you know, if they're getting everything together. I was like,
Speaker 3: you want to like get a drink or like get
Speaker 3: to know each other. And she's like, what you asked that?
Speaker 9: Isn't that the whole point now that we're on this date.
Speaker 9: Would you like to have a conversation, perhaps you have
Speaker 9: some food?
Speaker 1: Why She's gonna say no, she said, don't every other
Speaker 1: question you ever ask this woman. Why would you set
Speaker 1: yourself up for that?
Speaker 3: Well, she said that she'd feel more comfortable if we
Speaker 3: didn't start getting to know one another until we moved
Speaker 3: the table. So we just sort of got there and
Speaker 3: she think, she.
Speaker 1: Is, Wow, you're attracted to this still.
Speaker 3: Right, she's a she just looks so amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, I don't know if your brain's working,
Speaker 1: but something's working in your decision making.
Speaker 3: Look, so we got it. We got moved to another table. Huh,
Speaker 3: and she likes the corner spot and you know, it's great.
Speaker 3: It didn't really last very long.
Speaker 1: Did you ever get to know each other at.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm trying to sense was there like an actual
Speaker 9: love connection, any type of bond all.
Speaker 1: Jef, because it sounds like you just stared at her
Speaker 1: the whole time.
Speaker 3: No, I mean, I'm not. I was trying really hard.
Speaker 3: As I was walking her out, I was like, I've
Speaker 3: got a surprise for you, like I have something for you,
Speaker 3: And she said, oh, I didn't realize. I didn't see
Speaker 3: kidnapping me on your profile.
Speaker 1: And what is a joke or.
Speaker 3: Yeah she was joking.
Speaker 1: I think, okay, okay.
Speaker 5: Like kidnapping jokes?
Speaker 9: All right? Did you laugh at it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I tried to, like I've been trying to laugh
Speaker 3: it off. But I had some flowers in my car
Speaker 3: I wanted to give her.
Speaker 1: And she thought it was going to be zip ties
Speaker 1: and duct tape. That was probably a pleasant surprise. So
Speaker 1: I went to the car.
Speaker 3: So I gave her some flowers and I asked her
Speaker 3: if I could walk her to her apartment, and she
Speaker 3: said no, Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 7: Respect her boundaries, right, what can you do?
Speaker 3: Of course, I offered, So that's it. I tried to
Speaker 3: text her for another date, and uh, that's all I got.
Speaker 9: Maybe that was your opportunity to actually kidnap her like
Speaker 9: she wanted.
Speaker 1: That's what we want.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean, I don't want to unveil a mystery,
Speaker 9: but it sounds like she's just a typical girl, just
Speaker 9: want maybe a nice free dinner. You seemed like a
Speaker 9: nice enough guy and maybe.
Speaker 1: She's trying to find love, but you were a no, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll find out.
Speaker 9: I guess I think you should be kidnapped her. But
Speaker 9: one of these answers is right. We're gonna call her
Speaker 9: and find out which one it is when we do
Speaker 9: your second date update right after this date A perfect
Speaker 9: ten I don't know if I've ever seen one before.
Speaker 6: Hello.
Speaker 9: Oh, you're right, except when I look in the mirror.
Speaker 9: That was true. Thank you for pointing out this.
Speaker 1: Side of the room. Come on, out of ten, you
Speaker 1: do the division?
Speaker 9: That's smart.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm fine with the division.
Speaker 9: Tens are rare, but they do exist. And one of
Speaker 9: our listeners, Brett, he actually matched with a perfect He
Speaker 9: actually matched with a perfect ten online. And her name
Speaker 9: is Hannah. She's kind of a handful though, because she
Speaker 9: shot down pretty much every suggestion Brett had for their date,
Speaker 9: changed the time of it, the location, even made them
Speaker 9: move tables when they were at the restaurant, which might
Speaker 9: sound high maintenance for a nine or lower, but again,
Speaker 9: Hannah's a tent. Yeah, and the standard tens get what
Speaker 9: they want.
Speaker 8: Wouldn't it be nice to live in that world?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Honestly, it really is nice to live.
Speaker 9: In that world.
Speaker 8: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Brad.
Speaker 9: Before we get started, you said that you've been texting
Speaker 9: a little bit with Hannah, but it's been spotty. What's
Speaker 9: the nature of your text with her?
Speaker 3: I texted her, I've invited her bowling, I've invited her
Speaker 3: out to the bar.
Speaker 8: Don't want to bowl?
Speaker 1: Breaking nail exactly.
Speaker 3: But I've given options, you know, like I've expressed that
Speaker 3: I want.
Speaker 12: To see her again, and what is she saying?
Speaker 3: Sometimes she gives me nose and sometimes it's nothing.
Speaker 1: So you're not misunderstanding that she's not interested. You're just
Speaker 1: hoping we can help you. I see.
Speaker 9: But the fact that she is still at least responding
Speaker 9: at all, I think that's a win.
Speaker 1: Now we're going to try the man thing to say, well.
Speaker 9: You got to look at someone else positive on this show.
Speaker 9: I guess it has to be me, So let's call
Speaker 9: this other ten and see what she has to say.
Speaker 9: You're ready to do this, Brett, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Let's do it. I'm thrilled. I haven't been blocked yet.
Speaker 9: All right, but maybe after this. Here, I'm doing your
Speaker 9: number right now. Hello, Hi is this Hannah?
Speaker 12: Yeah, answer the phone.
Speaker 9: Really nice to talk you right now. My name is
Speaker 9: Jeff from Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, Hannah. Those
Speaker 9: are some other people that are on the show, but
Speaker 9: the main person you want to talk to is me.
Speaker 8: How are you doing, Hannah?
Speaker 7: I'm Jeff's assistant.
Speaker 11: Okay, what's up.
Speaker 9: Well, we're doing a really special segment that we only
Speaker 9: do for really special people like yourself. It's called a
Speaker 9: second date update, and we're looking to reconnect you with
Speaker 9: a really cool guy that you went out with recently
Speaker 9: named Brett. Hello.
Speaker 12: Okay, do you remember Brett?
Speaker 8: Hannah?
Speaker 11: Yeah you do?
Speaker 8: Okay, good?
Speaker 9: Okay?
Speaker 1: Did he What kind of impression did he make on you?
Speaker 12: I don't understand why I would be coming you guys.
Speaker 1: It's a good question.
Speaker 9: We spoke to Brett about your guys's date, and he
Speaker 9: had a lot of really nice things to say about
Speaker 9: you and said he had a good time, and he's
Speaker 9: been trying apparently to arrange a second meet up. Well,
Speaker 9: and I'm sure whatever, whatever the reason is, it's not
Speaker 9: your fault.
Speaker 1: You think it's Brett's fault.
Speaker 9: I'm just trying to I'm trying to guess. Panah, I'm
Speaker 9: on your side, is what I'm trying to say. No
Speaker 9: matter what you say, it's right.
Speaker 1: Bread's getting the vibes that maybe you don't want to
Speaker 1: go out again.
Speaker 9: Sound like a seven would say it, but oa.
Speaker 12: Okay, Yeah, I'm just like doing stuff.
Speaker 9: Okay, maybe that's great, Maybe you could do stuff with Brett.
Speaker 12: Okay, I don't want to do the type of stuff
Speaker 12: that he keeps asking me to do Like, he's texting
Speaker 12: me about bowling and I told him I hate bowling,
Speaker 12: and he's just like still asking me to do that.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do, okay, or anything you like? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a good question, Alexis.
Speaker 12: I like dinner but only because I have to?
Speaker 1: What do you mean only because you have to?
Speaker 8: You don't have to.
Speaker 12: Yeah, you have to eat activity to live.
Speaker 9: If she had a choice, she would never have What
Speaker 9: would you do?
Speaker 1: What is there anything you find fun? It just sounds
Speaker 1: like you hate everything.
Speaker 12: I don't hate everything. I just don't like everything.
Speaker 1: Okay, pessimist, Well, I think don't call me that.
Speaker 8: Don't call you you don't like.
Speaker 1: That's what a pessimist is.
Speaker 8: They don't.
Speaker 12: Here's my situation. I don't like activities in general. I
Speaker 12: don't want to do that. So honestly, it's just like,
Speaker 12: if he wants to go out to eat, we can
Speaker 12: do that. But other than dinner, I'm really not interested
Speaker 12: in acts, throwing or all that other dumbs that he's
Speaker 12: text me about.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, so curious what you do all day?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Sounds perfect.
Speaker 9: I think that that would be okay with Brett. He
Speaker 9: was just trying to figure out some fun stuff that
Speaker 9: you guys could do together.
Speaker 1: Take away fun, don't do fun.
Speaker 9: Yeah, he just wants to find some stuff.
Speaker 8: Not even stuff.
Speaker 9: He just wants to while you both don't enjoy it.
Speaker 12: You guys literally have any other questions for me? Because
Speaker 12: I have other stuff to h I do a one
Speaker 12: more question.
Speaker 9: Would you like to talk to Brett? And the answer
Speaker 9: is yes, because he's on the other line right now,
Speaker 9: listening and wanting to say something. Brett.
Speaker 3: Yo, Hey, and it's Brett. Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 12: I'm trying, Brett? Why do you have these people calling me?
Speaker 3: No? Look, I just I really like you. I just
Speaker 3: heard a bit of what you said. I just what
Speaker 3: do you mean like you don't like to do activities?
Speaker 12: You don't mean it super clear. I'm okay, what's going
Speaker 12: out again? Honestly we could do that. It's not a
Speaker 12: big deal. But I don't want to do anything.
Speaker 7: God, he sounds perfect.
Speaker 8: Do you understand where Brett is?
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm a little confused. So what do you do?
Speaker 12: You just have that we can eat? But you know what, honestly,
Speaker 12: I'm thinking about going on a forty day fast.
Speaker 3: So what you want to do what would what do
Speaker 3: you want?
Speaker 12: Okay, honestly, Brett, listen, I'm over dating at the moment.
Speaker 12: So if you really don't want to do it again, like,
Speaker 12: that's fine too. No, No, like it's whatever.
Speaker 11: I want to date you.
Speaker 3: I just like, so, like, do you want to just
Speaker 3: hang out and watch TV?
Speaker 11: Maybe?
Speaker 12: No, Listen, if you want to buy me dinner, I
Speaker 12: need to eat. Let's do that.
Speaker 3: We can.
Speaker 12: That's it. And no activity, But.
Speaker 9: The TV seemed like a good suggestion, Hannah, Like that,
Speaker 9: that's pretty much not doing anything right.
Speaker 12: TV is an activity and I already made clear I'm
Speaker 12: not interested in activities, right, Okay.
Speaker 6: Why do you want to?
Speaker 1: I mean literally, we no offense, Hannah, But you sound
Speaker 1: like one of the least interesting people in the entire
Speaker 1: We can find you a nice nine Brett. Yeah, it's like,
Speaker 1: what are you going to offer in a relationship, Hannah?
Speaker 9: Hannah, I apologize for my co host over there. That's
Speaker 9: a six talking over there. She doesn't understand what it's
Speaker 9: like being elite, even with a ten.
Speaker 1: If you don't have a good personal like, what are
Speaker 1: you like?
Speaker 9: You're not You're a ten brooke. You don't have to
Speaker 9: be anything else.
Speaker 7: You just exist.
Speaker 9: Yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 1: It drops you by like half.
Speaker 12: Okay. I don't really understand why you guys talk on
Speaker 12: nine tens and all these other numbers, but honestly, I
Speaker 12: really have to go, Brett. Is there anything else?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Well, uh, spit it out.
Speaker 12: Just stay with you, say, because I'm going to hang up.
Speaker 3: I want to go out with you again. We can
Speaker 3: eat dinner. I'll buy you dinner. We don't have to
Speaker 3: do anything like, just whatever whatever you want to do.
Speaker 7: Okay.
Speaker 9: That was kind of sweet, wasn't it. Hannah. We'd like
Speaker 9: to pay for you guys to sit in the same
Speaker 9: vicinity and do nothing.
Speaker 7: Guys sit in the dark and just match each other's breathing.
Speaker 12: All right, I'm hearing.
Speaker 9: That's considered an activity.
Speaker 8: Brett, hang it up. I think that was a yes
Speaker 8: from her, though.
Speaker 12: I think that was a yes only if he pays.
Speaker 12: He doesn't need your money, Okay.
Speaker 7: A charity, Brett. I get it.
Speaker 9: You got the bill on this, I got it.
Speaker 2: I got it.
Speaker 9: Well we did.
Speaker 1: This feels so wrong. There's a lot of other women
Speaker 1: out there.
Speaker 7: It's gonna be like like a silent film.
Speaker 8: Like I like soup. He likes soup.
Speaker 1: She doesn't like anything her.
Speaker 7: Head, and even she did like it, she wouldn't talk
Speaker 7: about it.
Speaker 9: I'm be careful eating soup, is in activities dangerously.
Speaker 6: Close freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9: I feel like we have to do this every few weeks.
Speaker 9: But once again I must warn my co hosts, please
Speaker 9: do not openly bag on the people that we're trying
Speaker 9: to score dates with.
Speaker 1: She was just mean, like she wasn't nice. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be nice to people who aren't nice or kind
Speaker 1: or just something.
Speaker 7: Kind of boring.
Speaker 9: She was just sad. She was saying what she likes
Speaker 9: and who she is, and you're out there telling her
Speaker 9: she's not interesting. She's a pessimist. She's a terrible person.
Speaker 1: When the pessimist is it somebody does everything.
Speaker 9: The pessimists that doesn't like everything. See, it doesn't feel
Speaker 9: good to be called I'm.
Speaker 1: Just trying to defend our listener and help him in
Speaker 1: his life.
Speaker 9: That choice to go out with this woman still coming
Speaker 9: after I say she's unique, she is different. Don't you
Speaker 9: think we should celebrate the unique different people in our community?
Speaker 9: Brook or do you want to take away her rights too?
Speaker 1: What's unique about her?
Speaker 7: I agree with you now. But if this girl hit
Speaker 7: me up on my I love you, say anything, I
Speaker 7: don't say nothing. I don't like to say anything either.
Speaker 9: So you can be all judgy, but me and jose
Speaker 9: are going to be enjoying our time with her. Nothing
Speaker 9: absolutely nothing, parties.
Speaker 1: And I annoy her in two seconds.
Speaker 9: Anyway. You can always email the show for help or
Speaker 9: find our podcast up online at Brooknjeffrey.
Speaker 6: Dot com Brooking Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 9: Unless you're driving right now, I'd like you all to
Speaker 9: close your eyes and picture the worst roommate you've ever had.
Speaker 7: It's me.
Speaker 1: Sam kind of checks out for you.
Speaker 9: But if you are driving, go ahead, picture your worst
Speaker 9: roommate sitting on the back bumper of the car ahead
Speaker 9: of you.
Speaker 7: Oh no, speed up.
Speaker 6: Them alive.
Speaker 1: I didn't like it, but I didn't want violence.
Speaker 9: Some woman's never heal Brook And that's why a brand
Speaker 9: new survey ask people to share the weirdest things they
Speaker 9: ever caught their roommates doing. Oh and I'll just say
Speaker 9: one of them involves somebody waking up in the middle
Speaker 9: of the night and finding something alive crawling around on
Speaker 9: their floor.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 9: He whatever you're picturing, it's probably not that, but it's
Speaker 9: pretty hilarious. We're going to tell you some of the
Speaker 9: worst roommates of all time coming up. It's Brooke and
Speaker 9: Jeffrey in the morning. And some things in this world
Speaker 9: are super rare, like identical twins, a YouTube video with
Speaker 9: no inflammatory hateful comments on it, plumbers wearing pants that
Speaker 9: actually fit.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 9: Maybe the rarest thing of all is finding a normal
Speaker 9: person without any weird quirks or habits to be your
Speaker 9: roommate's exactly.
Speaker 8: That's what that is.
Speaker 9: I mean good roommates few and far between. I say
Speaker 9: that because people are revealing the weirdest and worst things
Speaker 9: they ever caught their roommates doing. They're sharing it online.
Speaker 9: It's gonna make you feel good if you're living by
Speaker 9: yourself right now. Yeah, so let's go over them. Number
Speaker 9: seven says one night, I caught my roommate cleaning the
Speaker 9: dishes by actually licking the plates clean and putting them
Speaker 9: back into the cupboard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my four year old would do, not an
Speaker 1: actual don't.
Speaker 9: The weirdest part is he knew there was dish show
Speaker 9: because sometimes the soap would be on his nightstand next
Speaker 9: to his bed. I still don't want to know what
Speaker 9: he was using it.
Speaker 1: From that sounds like, I mean something was clean in
Speaker 1: the house, the dishes.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I don't want to know what baby ducks off
Speaker 7: with that Broyeh.
Speaker 9: Number six says I had a strange roommate who was
Speaker 9: very possessive over all her stuff. She didn't want me
Speaker 9: to touch anything. The strangest one was that she taped
Speaker 9: a big piece of paper over her wall clock because
Speaker 9: she says she didn't want to share it with me. Oh,
Speaker 9: so she wanted to check the time. She'd pull the
Speaker 9: paper back, peek in, and then quickly cover it up again.
Speaker 3: Takes it.
Speaker 1: But I feel like this is a person who had
Speaker 1: a lot of siblings and then finally moved out.
Speaker 9: And suffing of her own finally.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like I just wanted to be my.
Speaker 9: Hey, what time is it?
Speaker 7: Leave me alone for yourself by your own clock.
Speaker 9: Number five says, I remember one of my roommates had
Speaker 9: a secret booger wall in our room. Continue I agree
Speaker 9: with it, said on move out day, he revealed a
Speaker 9: portion of the wall he covered up with books, and
Speaker 9: he admitted he was sticking boogers there for the last
Speaker 9: two years. I kid you, not there was a giant, yellow,
Speaker 9: brown circle of boogersta the size of a large beach ball.
Speaker 1: I'm actually I mean, that's the thing discussed, is that
Speaker 1: we didn't actually have to see it, and I'm still scarred.
Speaker 9: Can't very interesting?
Speaker 1: Yeah, very chic textured wall.
Speaker 9: If you're just joining us, We're going over a survey
Speaker 9: where people shared the strangest, weirdest things they ever caught
Speaker 9: their roommates doing. Number four says I once walked out
Speaker 9: of my room and found my roommate lying on the
Speaker 9: kitchen floor.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 9: I thought he may have slipped or been injured or something,
Speaker 9: so I asked if he was all right, and he
Speaker 9: said he just wanted to get himself dirty before hopping
Speaker 9: into the shower, and proceeded to make floor angels for
Speaker 9: another good fifteen minutes or so.
Speaker 1: Two questions here, Why was your floor so dirty that
Speaker 1: he could just lay on the floor and pick up.
Speaker 8: A lot of stuff?
Speaker 9: And what was the second question?
Speaker 8: I mean, he wasn't dirty enough, right?
Speaker 1: Why was you?
Speaker 7: Excuse Yeah, the shower? Do you want to take a shower?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 9: I think that's getting two things done at once. He's
Speaker 9: cleaning the kitchen and eventually going to clean himself.
Speaker 1: I guess it is a different way to him, different
Speaker 1: way to mop.
Speaker 9: I mean, I think that's smart.
Speaker 1: His name was Swiffer.
Speaker 9: Number three. On my first day of college, I had
Speaker 9: a roommate who cooked a big batch of spaghetti bolonnaise
Speaker 9: for all the students on our floor.
Speaker 1: Oh that's awesome.
Speaker 9: He handed out plates of food to all the people
Speaker 9: that wanted them, and then afterwards we went back into
Speaker 9: our room and he showed me that he used a
Speaker 9: can of dog food in the sauce and started laughing, maniac, No.
Speaker 1: Wow, is that illegal?
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 6: To die?
Speaker 9: Are you asking because you want to try it any.
Speaker 8: Of your food?
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been a poor college student before. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you got to work with what you can get. Dog
Speaker 1: foodak some of my dog's food. I'm like, dad, this
Speaker 1: looks pretty dope.
Speaker 9: There's actual peas in here, eggs or cheap broke. I'm
Speaker 9: telling you, one of these stories is about Brook is
Speaker 9: definitely one of the bad roommates. I have a great
Speaker 9: roommate in your mind.
Speaker 1: A little messy, ye, little messy.
Speaker 9: Let's keep going. Number two says my roommate had a
Speaker 9: girlfriend that didn't attend our university and she would come
Speaker 9: and stay over forr entire weekends. Here it is, here's
Speaker 9: brook I can tell.
Speaker 7: There we go.
Speaker 1: I used to have my boyfriend that went to a
Speaker 1: different school stay in my bunk bed with me all weekend,
Speaker 1: and looking back, it's really cringey and I should apologize
Speaker 1: to my roommate. If she's listening, I'm sorry, they said.
Speaker 9: Whenever she swung by, they would just stay in bed,
Speaker 9: keep the lights off, order delivery, and never come out
Speaker 9: of the room. At one point, I woke up in
Speaker 9: the middle of the night to a weird noise. I
Speaker 9: went out and found a baby crawling around our room.
Speaker 1: That's where I did.
Speaker 9: Turns it turns out they were babysitting and just let
Speaker 9: it roam. Okay, what that? Yeah, And the number one
Speaker 9: weirdest thing somebody caught their roommate doing, according to the survey,
Speaker 9: says one of my college roommates had his dad come
Speaker 9: visit for a weekend. The two of them seemed pretty close,
Speaker 9: and they actually drank and partied at fraternities together. I
Speaker 9: guess my roommate thought it was totally okay to have
Speaker 9: his father sleep completely naked in my bed without permission.
Speaker 9: I came back from my morning classes and opened the
Speaker 9: door to the sight of his dad's hairy bottom poking
Speaker 9: out from under my bed shoes.
Speaker 7: Oh girls, okay.
Speaker 1: Brook, Yes or no, well my dad is naked.
Speaker 8: That's the one it will be.
Speaker 1: I never that happened in my life, but if that
Speaker 1: was the scenario, it's not far off.
Speaker 9: Yeah, those are the weirdest things people ever caught their
Speaker 9: roommates doing.
Speaker 6: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9: Brook, you're going for three wins in a row today,
Speaker 9: all right, and you're gonna be playing t are you
Speaker 9: d Adam Wayian? You will see it's Trudy from.
Speaker 12: Oh my gosh, that's hilarious.
Speaker 8: Wait.
Speaker 1: Wait, that doesn't happen every time you enter a room.
Speaker 12: Surprisingly, no it doesn't.
Speaker 3: But I'm gonna try and get that gullet.
Speaker 9: I'm sensing an accent on Trudy too.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Texas, Texas, Texas.
Speaker 9: It's the deep south of Texas.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, definitely a yeah.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna say like it sounded Australian to me.
Speaker 1: They sound really by San Antonio down under.
Speaker 9: Yeah, got it all right? True? Are We're gonna send
Speaker 9: Brook out of the studio and you know how the
Speaker 9: game's played. You have thirty seconds. Stand for as many
Speaker 9: questions as possible. If you don't know when, just say
Speaker 9: passed and you have to beat Brooke outright to win? Ready?
Speaker 9: All right, your time starts now on this day. In
Speaker 9: nineteen eighty four, Michael Jackson was burned while filming a
Speaker 9: commercial for what soft drink Patsy? What three colors are
Speaker 9: on the flag of Mexico?
Speaker 6: Green, watts and red?
Speaker 9: How many hairs does Homer Simpson have on the top
Speaker 9: of his head? Wand in which city is the amusement
Speaker 9: park euro Disney.
Speaker 12: Located just outside of Paris.
Speaker 9: We produce enough saliva every day to fill up a
Speaker 9: regular size can of coke, a wine bottle, or a
Speaker 9: plastic butt. Let's do the cart all right, Yeah, let's
Speaker 9: bring Brooke back into the studio. And so you're Australian.
Speaker 9: What's one stereotype about Australians that's absolutely true everything? Okay?
Speaker 1: By yeah, I will say to Australians are everywhere. I've
Speaker 1: never traveled to a place around the globe where there
Speaker 1: wasn't an Australian vacationing and they're like, oh, how long
Speaker 1: are you here for?
Speaker 8: I'm like, oh a week.
Speaker 1: And they're like, what, we're here for six months.
Speaker 7: We're like salt, We're everywhere.
Speaker 9: Yeah yeah, And then they like take off their clothes,
Speaker 9: they offer you a beer. They're the nicest piece. All right, Brook,
Speaker 9: your turn? You ready?
Speaker 1: Oh man, she's got the Australian education. I got the
Speaker 1: American public education.
Speaker 9: So we'll see you ready to do yes, your time now.
Speaker 9: On this day in nineteen eighty four, Michael Jackson was
Speaker 9: burned while filming a commercial for what Soft. What three
Speaker 9: colors are on the flag of Mexico?
Speaker 8: Red, green, and white?
Speaker 9: How many hairs does Homer Simpson have on the top
Speaker 9: of his head? In which city is the amusement park
Speaker 9: euro Disney located. We produce enough saliva every day to
Speaker 9: fill up a regular size can of coke, a wine bottle,
Speaker 9: or a plastic bucket wine bottle. Got the answers in,
Speaker 9: Let's go to the scoreboard and see how you guys
Speaker 9: did with Jose Oh oh baby, she moves, je moves.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Trudy, you got three correct today?
Speaker 9: Okay?
Speaker 2: Correct?
Speaker 6: All right?
Speaker 7: And broad yes, same amount of questions and America versus
Speaker 7: Australia International battle.
Speaker 8: Okay, Australia.
Speaker 7: Oh wait, Brooke Winn Sorry, I'm American.
Speaker 9: I can't yeah, Oh no, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: Trudy.
Speaker 2: Oh that's okay.
Speaker 4: We're good.
Speaker 8: Hey, you did good. You did good, Trudy.
Speaker 9: Let's go over the answers for everybody here.
Speaker 8: Let's find out find out.
Speaker 9: On this day in nineteen eighty four, Michael Jackson was
Speaker 9: burned while filming a commercial for Pepsi fire works misfired
Speaker 9: and set his hair and jacket on fire, and he
Speaker 9: suffered second degree burns from that. The three colors on
Speaker 9: the flag of Mexico are red, white, and green. Homer
Speaker 9: Simpson has two hairs on top of his head. Euro
Speaker 9: Disney is located in Paris. Trudy nose located just outside
Speaker 9: of Paris. It sounds like she's been there before.
Speaker 1: Where it was, I'll tell you Australia's traveler.
Speaker 9: Yeah. We produce enough saliva every day to fill up
Speaker 9: a wine bottle, and over the course of your lifetime
Speaker 9: your spit will fill up fifty three bath tubs.
Speaker 1: Wow, that is a disgusting that's called an Australian bath
Speaker 1: is what it's called.
Speaker 9: All right, we'll see on a mountain ski trip sometime
Speaker 9: in the near future. Sure all right, we'll be back
Speaker 9: to play Windbrooks Black same time a Monday
Speaker 6: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning