Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's devoting a year of his
Speaker 1: life to teaching ants how to surfoo.
Speaker 2: He made me more than a year, not the insects. Oh,
Speaker 2: I mean, oh my aunts and your family who call
Speaker 2: you around the holidays.
Speaker 1: For just six dollars a day, you can sponsor an
Speaker 1: ant to hand ten in a one piece with Laser
Speaker 1: stores the segment where we read weird news stories around
Speaker 1: the globe, just like everyone else does, except we have
Speaker 1: a laser and those other git or snippers just don't.
Speaker 1: This first lazer story is out of the United Kingdom.
Speaker 1: Rugby player Daniel White is making headlines in the UK
Speaker 1: simply for breaking up with his high school sweetheart. Oh
Speaker 1: that's like news over there are things going much better
Speaker 1: here because it's true. Twenty seven year old said the
Speaker 1: couple had drifted apart after dating for more than a decade,
Speaker 1: so he announced all his family and friends that he
Speaker 1: and his former girlfriend, Courtney Davies were over.
Speaker 2: Ipty's doing okay?
Speaker 1: Well, to answer your question, I think she is, because
Speaker 1: about three months later that decision became the biggest regret
Speaker 1: of Daniel's life because Courtney's sister, Stephanie, happened to stop
Speaker 1: by a local convenience store and pick up a lottery ticket,
Speaker 1: instantly making her entire family sixty one million dollars richer.
Speaker 2: I take my family out of private jets somewhere.
Speaker 1: Immediately, the immediate family decided to split the winnings equally,
Speaker 1: and even Stephanie's boyfriend became twelve million dollars richer.
Speaker 2: Hey, boy, the boyfriend's got cut in and he's an ex.
Speaker 1: So ask for those exes, like Daniel, Well, you got nothing.
Speaker 1: As soon as that news broke, of course, his phone
Speaker 1: started blowing up, getting a lot of jokes in snapchats,
Speaker 1: asking if he'll ever recover and how hard he's been
Speaker 1: crying on a scale of one.
Speaker 2: If you thought that U up text is weird already,
Speaker 2: it's going to be even more awkward.
Speaker 1: Well, luckily, Daniel brush those off and says he's happy
Speaker 1: for the family, but obviously feels like if they didn't separate,
Speaker 1: he'd probably be on a yacht in the Caribbean right
Speaker 1: now at least one million.
Speaker 2: The other boy got twelve Yeah, twelve million.
Speaker 1: Never break up with anybody. The next Lazer stories out
Speaker 1: of Winnipeg, man named Rick Shoan is running for local mayor,
Speaker 1: and yesterday he announced a cycling infrastructure plan that included
Speaker 1: strategies to reduce bike theft.
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty cool.
Speaker 1: But just over an hour later, his own bike was stolen.
Speaker 2: Maybe they hadn't implemented the strategy. Yes, it happened right
Speaker 2: after the speech.
Speaker 1: Out induct in a store to get something real quick,
Speaker 1: and when he came back out, his bike was gone. Afterwards,
Speaker 1: he called the press conference and said, quote, I feel
Speaker 1: so stupid. I was inside for just two minutes. How
Speaker 1: could this happen? I just talked about strategies.
Speaker 2: Can we have more politicians like him? Anyone?
Speaker 1: That?
Speaker 2: I feel so stupid?
Speaker 1: He also posted a photo of his missing bike, which
Speaker 1: is orange, has a basket on the front.
Speaker 2: Oh sweet man, Well, isn't the.
Speaker 1: Usual desirable bike that crooks can sell on Craigslist? Yes?
Speaker 2: Pretty famous now if even we're talking about his bike?
Speaker 1: Yeah, still though it hasn't been found, and now the
Speaker 1: locals are criticizing him for using his status and platform
Speaker 1: to call attention to his own missing bike when there's
Speaker 1: hundreds of theirs still unaccounted for. Okay, maybe he was
Speaker 1: hoping they'd find his bike with theirs. Yeah, maybe sounds
Speaker 1: like a typical selfish politician to me, okay, this next
Speaker 1: laser stories out of the Country of Countries. Music icon
Speaker 1: Dolly Parton just launched a new line that's turning some heads.
Speaker 2: Oh give it to me. I love her and also
Speaker 2: wagging some tails. That's right.
Speaker 1: It's a fashion line for dogs called Doggy Parton Awesome.
Speaker 2: Why is everything she touches just amazing? She is just wholesome.
Speaker 2: She is just a pure angel. What do you get?
Speaker 1: The line will feature shirts, dresses, squeaky toys, and even
Speaker 1: a blond puppy wig inspired by Parton herself.
Speaker 2: I was hoping for a part and bust.
Speaker 1: Yeah with nine to five, And in true Dolly fashion,
Speaker 1: a portion of the proceeds will go to Willoughby Farms,
Speaker 1: a rescue organization that provides a home for displaced animals.
Speaker 2: I love you, Dolly Carton.
Speaker 1: So you can shot the collection now on Amazon and
Speaker 1: pick out toys shaped like doggy stilettos and rhinestone and
Speaker 1: pink pearl collars for your pampered pooch. But definitely the
Speaker 1: blond puppy wig is by far the fan favorite.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you have to get it now. It's gonna
Speaker 2: sell out.
Speaker 1: There's no way, Dolly said in a statement, Puppy Love
Speaker 1: was my very first record, and six decades later, my
Speaker 1: love for pets is stronger than ever.
Speaker 2: Six decades. Wow, and she doesn't look it, No, and
Speaker 2: she's still happy. She said.
Speaker 1: This inspired me to start my own line of doggy
Speaker 1: part and apparel, accessories and toys more with a little
Speaker 1: Dolly flair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I can't wait. TikTok. Yeah great, you need
Speaker 2: to get it for your roommates store.
Speaker 1: Oh my, Godeah. Probably the right size for her to
Speaker 1: just wear it as a crop to this.
Speaker 2: Next laser story is out of food News.
Speaker 1: Everyone knows fast food isn't exactly the healthiest option for
Speaker 1: you to have, but we keep on eating it anyway.
Speaker 2: It tastes so good. Yeah yep. So here's a question.
Speaker 1: How many years of your life would you be willing
Speaker 1: to give up to keep eating fast food? Duh Well
Speaker 1: online food blog pulled over three thousand adults and the
Speaker 1: average answer was four. Oh my god, you would give
Speaker 1: up four years of your life?
Speaker 2: Isn't that crazy? If it's the end.
Speaker 1: I don't want to sound like snotty, but I just
Speaker 1: I really don't eat fast food.
Speaker 2: I crave it. Oh Man, you sounded snatty.
Speaker 1: Most of the rest of the not snotty people love
Speaker 1: fast food so much they're willing to give up four
Speaker 1: years of their life for it. That's just the average
Speaker 1: in America. Three states would be willing. Three states would
Speaker 1: be willing to give up more than a decade of
Speaker 1: their life, like.
Speaker 2: I'm willing to just never have been born.
Speaker 1: Give me Montana, North Dakota, and Hawaii. All of them
Speaker 1: said twelve a dozen years.
Speaker 2: They're willing to give up.
Speaker 1: Food. The Pole also found most people would rather give
Speaker 1: up alcohol than fast food, and one four people think
Speaker 1: eating fast food every now and then actually has health benefits.
Speaker 2: It does when you're hungover. Yeah, honestly it may be true.
Speaker 1: Seriously, because I know this guy's been working on a
Speaker 1: lettuce ley for three years now that he found in
Speaker 1: a discarded Big Mac.
Speaker 2: It sounds like he's doing just one. It's that special
Speaker 2: saf man gets it going.
Speaker 1: That sound means, lads, the story just come to an
Speaker 1: end for the day. We'll do it again, same time
Speaker 1: on Wednesday.