Speaker 1: So this is embarrassing. Had to show my husband that
Speaker 1: we had a podcast yesterday and how.
Speaker 2: To download it.
Speaker 1: So Michael, honey, if you're listening, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1: It's time, and don't forget to follow the podcast too.
Speaker 1: All right, the show starts now.
Speaker 3: Gosh, I've realized that although I've been a pretty good
Speaker 3: lead host for the show, I don't think I've been
Speaker 3: a very good friend to you guys.
Speaker 1: All right, I don't feel anybody I do.
Speaker 3: I mean, like Alexis, never once have I offered to
Speaker 3: be your designated driver when you get crunk on White
Speaker 3: Claw and vodcast point.
Speaker 1: It was uber, I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 3: Jose, even though I know I gave you a plant
Speaker 3: as a housewarming gift the other day, and I definitely
Speaker 3: opted for the cheapest one. It was on the clearance
Speaker 3: rack at the gas station. I was like, I think,
Speaker 3: I don't think it's going to live very long anyway.
Speaker 3: And then Brook, what don't even get me started with you?
Speaker 3: Do you know how much crap I've talked behind your back.
Speaker 3: It's a bunch of some of my old coworkers. I
Speaker 3: can tell you that your kids too good chimes.
Speaker 1: I gotta say butt.
Speaker 3: It not a good friend, but I feel like.
Speaker 1: You're still finding joy.
Speaker 3: That it's wrong of me. That's why I'm saying you
Speaker 3: feel bad. I found so much joy in this wow,
Speaker 3: but I realized then I'm a bad person. So I
Speaker 3: want to make it up to all of you today,
Speaker 3: and that's why I'm gifting everyone in this room.
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 3: Yes, that's your present from me.
Speaker 2: Oh, it scared me. A bird.
Speaker 1: Raven statue.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't expect you guys to know anything about birds.
Speaker 3: It's a crow. Oh it is the show crow.
Speaker 2: The show crow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you guys can pass it around your desk,
Speaker 3: share it. If you ever need somebody to talk to.
Speaker 3: Don't talk to me, talk to the show crow. So always.
Speaker 1: Do you like my children?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: God, I don't think he's not a fan.
Speaker 3: But maybe we could start a new tradition here. Whoever
Speaker 3: singing during the shock caller should be holding the show crow.
Speaker 3: Because it's time for the shot collar of the day.
Speaker 3: We have a bucket full of names, are going to
Speaker 3: draw one ouncing who gets asked a trivia question. If
Speaker 3: you answer wrong, the punishment is to be shocked while
Speaker 3: singing a song. So text into seven eight, five, nine,
Speaker 3: to tell us which one you'd like to hear. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna draw a name out because I had the shot
Speaker 3: collar last. Can I just say, did you buy this pro?
Speaker 1: Just because it I'm gonna say it right now. It
Speaker 1: looks like it used show like you already had the
Speaker 1: same house.
Speaker 3: It may have been a regift.
Speaker 4: It.
Speaker 3: Like you said, Bro, it's the thought that counts. I
Speaker 3: drew a name out and it's Alexis e Walk.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, job, yes Ah.
Speaker 3: Alexis is gonna put on the shot collar while that happens,
Speaker 3: Digital Jake, please read us the shot collar question of
Speaker 3: the day.
Speaker 2: When you're dumping someone, you're probably not gonna tell them
Speaker 2: the real reason, or you just might sugarcoat it. For example,
Speaker 2: I think your eyes are beautiful, I just can't see
Speaker 2: them because of the size of your nose, and because
Speaker 2: of that, I think you should see other people. That
Speaker 2: can happen.
Speaker 3: I'm going to use that.
Speaker 2: It can happen. But most of the time you'll say
Speaker 2: something like I feel like we just aren't connecting anymore,
Speaker 2: or we're moving in different directions. Well, a new survey
Speaker 2: ask people for the real reasons they've broken up with someone.
Speaker 2: I need you to tell me the top four most
Speaker 2: popular ways, and I'll give you a golden guess right
Speaker 2: off the bat. Tell me something you think is on
Speaker 2: the list, and I'll tell you if you're correct or not.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I would think of real reason someone
Speaker 1: would break up because they met somebody else. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm thinking too.
Speaker 3: That's good one as it.
Speaker 1: It's so easy though.
Speaker 6: I know that's the thing.
Speaker 5: I want to waste it on that, all right, I
Speaker 5: ask because they met someone else.
Speaker 2: Meeting someone else is not on.
Speaker 7: The who.
Speaker 4: Asked?
Speaker 1: I want to put that number one too.
Speaker 3: Well, you guys are cheating.
Speaker 1: I think it's it's like breaking up with someone because
Speaker 1: you meet somebody else that you're more interested in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so what other reasons?
Speaker 1: What if they're just like not really going anywhere. I
Speaker 1: would say they're boring you. They start to be boring, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they don't want to do anything with you. They just
Speaker 1: want to stay home.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, is that what you told the guy before
Speaker 3: he went into heart surgery and then you dumped him.
Speaker 2: That's a true story.
Speaker 8: So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I stayed with him through his open heart surgery and
Speaker 1: then after he was healed enough, then we went when they.
Speaker 3: Were the wheelchair.
Speaker 2: That was the moment.
Speaker 5: This is brutal.
Speaker 3: A question one more time.
Speaker 2: Breaking up with someone is difficult, and being honest with
Speaker 2: them can be even harder than that. I asked you
Speaker 2: to name the top four most popular secretive reasons people
Speaker 2: have broken up with someone, and I'll give you a
Speaker 2: lifeline to help. Tell me a number, and I'll tell
Speaker 2: you the reason behind.
Speaker 3: I hate to be brutally honest, but like, I'm not
Speaker 3: attracted to you anymore.
Speaker 1: Like, but the brutal reason would be, like they gained weight.
Speaker 3: Guess a number.
Speaker 5: I'm going to guess number four.
Speaker 2: Number four is they weren't funny enough.
Speaker 1: I was thinking not.
Speaker 5: Being attracted to them though, too.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know if it's something specific.
Speaker 3: You get and you're like lost attraction is a good
Speaker 3: What if they're not going anywhere in their life? What
Speaker 3: if they I'm trying to say, like you're not driven enough,
Speaker 3: you know in life, like you're lazy, asleep on the couch,
Speaker 3: you play video games. I'm trying to think of why
Speaker 3: I get broken up.
Speaker 9: Yeah, what about annoying?
Speaker 1: Is that? Think of me and we'll get all these
Speaker 1: what about outside things like what if you hate their
Speaker 1: friends or hate their family.
Speaker 3: That's actually you know, oh yeah, or their pets? Would
Speaker 3: you like you don't like their pet?
Speaker 10: I guess.
Speaker 3: Like you know, if their pets too needy every day?
Speaker 1: What if they're too needy?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Right, all right, have my four answers. All right, Okay,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna go.
Speaker 9: You break up with them because they're boring, you lost
Speaker 9: attraction to them, they're not funny, and they're cleaning.
Speaker 2: A new survey asked people for the real reasons they've
Speaker 2: broken up with someone, and I needed you to figure
Speaker 2: out the top four responses. I already told you that
Speaker 2: they weren't funny enough. Was on the list? You said
Speaker 2: you've lost attraction to them? Was on there? Number three
Speaker 2: was you're much better looking than them, So I'll give
Speaker 2: you that.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
Speaker 2: Number two on the list you said they were boring. Sorry,
Speaker 2: that's not on the list. You were too good for them.
Speaker 3: Oh you're just yea, get it. I'm too pretty for
Speaker 3: you and I'm too good.
Speaker 2: And number one on the list, it's kind of harsh.
Speaker 2: They weren't smart enough.
Speaker 3: Oh what does that mean? Yeah, explain to you later
Speaker 3: to break out cringey didn't get that right, because we're
Speaker 3: just good people. That's what I'm gonna get smart.
Speaker 1: We're just too good for other people.
Speaker 3: We're above them. Yeah, so you're gonna get shocked while
Speaker 3: singing Karma Chameleon by the Culture.
Speaker 9: My god, what a good song.
Speaker 1: Karma Comma Comma comma comma come, you.
Speaker 9: Come and go, you come and go.
Speaker 7: The rain good.
Speaker 1: I'm happy for someone texted in last week that you
Speaker 1: sound like Olivia Rodrigo.
Speaker 3: That person have ears. That's your shot collar question.
Speaker 7: Another day, freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: All right, we played Free Phone Friday last week, which
Speaker 3: you know, honestly did go as well as I thought,
Speaker 3: because mostly they couldn't figure out how to use each
Speaker 3: other's phones.
Speaker 5: Yeah, androids, nobody owns them.
Speaker 3: Jose, we're looking for a little more juice on this
Speaker 3: morning show, and that's why I promised last week that
Speaker 3: we'd play Tinder Match. Mondays, Oh my god, I selected
Speaker 3: two names out of a hat before this, and turns
Speaker 3: out it was Jose and Alexis. Again, you're going to
Speaker 3: unlock your phones, open the tender app and swap and
Speaker 3: then you'll have one minute to look through and find
Speaker 3: something interesting.
Speaker 5: I think this is so Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: It could be interesting conversation, strange matches, a catfishing photo
Speaker 3: that one of them is using, whatever it is. All right,
Speaker 3: you guys are swapping phones now and ready go.
Speaker 7: What is it?
Speaker 1: Are we talking about?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 3: I mean? We're just looking for the one interesting thing
Speaker 3: that you're going to find on there? Okay, wait, you're
Speaker 3: not trying to swipe to find matches. Want to look
Speaker 3: at find some find some juice on there, find some
Speaker 3: conversations people. Yeah, like, is there a conversation someone?
Speaker 5: No, it is profile?
Speaker 3: Are we learning that neither of you have had any
Speaker 3: Tinder matches recently? I never talked to me.
Speaker 1: I thought mean single was more fun than this. I
Speaker 1: know I'm not a loser.
Speaker 3: I don't talk to anybody. I just work and go home.
Speaker 3: I know no looks of disgust from Alexis yet, So
Speaker 3: I have ten seconds a bunch of dudes who really
Speaker 3: really want Alexis.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you going to write that's a type, that's
Speaker 1: for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, what is the most interesting thing that
Speaker 3: you found on there? Jose what white dudes? You need
Speaker 3: to branch out a little bit. I think it's interesting
Speaker 3: your profile because you're sitting on Santa's lap.
Speaker 5: Another one of you.
Speaker 3: Shirtless on Ninja Warriors.
Speaker 5: It's just like an interesting pic of what you know?
Speaker 3: Wait, should I switch those? Is that not good funny?
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess there's a lot of attractive guys
Speaker 3: that like you, though, I'll give you that harmandos Jose's
Speaker 3: considering switching teams if they're going into.
Speaker 1: Alexis City, Like, why does she have such better options?
Speaker 3: Why don't you guys just hold onto each other?
Speaker 1: Who's in here?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 3: You guys, you guys enjoy that. We're gonna do laser stories.
Speaker 4: Next.
Speaker 3: It's the radio segment that's devoting a year of his
Speaker 3: life to teaching ants how to surf.
Speaker 1: Made me more than a year.
Speaker 3: Not the insects. I mean, like my aunts and your
Speaker 3: family who call you around the holiday. For just six
Speaker 3: dollars a day, you can sponsor an aunt to hang
Speaker 3: ten in a one piece with laser stores. Yeah, the
Speaker 3: segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,
Speaker 3: just like everyone else does, except we have a laser
Speaker 3: and those other gip or snippers just don't. This first
Speaker 3: lazer story is out of the United Kingdom. Rugby player
Speaker 3: Daniel White is making headlines in the UK simply for
Speaker 3: breaking up with his high school sweetheart.
Speaker 1: Oh that's like news over there are things going much
Speaker 1: better here, because it's true.
Speaker 3: Twenty seven year old said the couple had drifted apart
Speaker 3: after dating for more than a decade, so he announced
Speaker 3: all his family and friends that he and his former girlfriend,
Speaker 3: Courtney Davies were over.
Speaker 1: I hope Courtney's doing okay.
Speaker 3: Well, to answer your question, I think she is, because
Speaker 3: about three months later, that decision became the biggest regret
Speaker 3: of Daniel's life because Courtney's sister, Stephanie, happened to stop
Speaker 3: by a local convenience store and pick up a lottery ticket,
Speaker 3: instantly making her entire family sixty one million dollars richer.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I take my family out of private jets somewhere. Immediately,
Speaker 3: the immediate family decided to split the winnings equally, and
Speaker 3: equ even Stephanie's boyfriend became twelve million dollars richer.
Speaker 1: Hey, boy, the boyfriend's got cut in and he's an X.
Speaker 3: Oh so ask for those exes like Daniel, Well, you
Speaker 3: got nothing. As soon as that news broke, of course,
Speaker 3: his phone started blowing up, getting a lot of jokes
Speaker 3: in snapchats asking if he'll ever recover and how hard
Speaker 3: he's been crying on a scale of wonder test if
Speaker 3: you thought that U up text is weird already, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's gonna be even more awkward. Well, luckily Daniel brushed
Speaker 3: those off and says he's happy for the family, but
Speaker 3: obviously feels like if they didn't separate, he'd probably be
Speaker 3: on a yacht in the Caribbean right now at least
Speaker 3: one million.
Speaker 2: The other boy got twelve.
Speaker 1: Yeah, twelve million.
Speaker 3: Never break up with anybody. This next Lazer story is
Speaker 3: out of Winnipeg. The man named Rick Shoan is running
Speaker 3: for local mayor and yesterday he announced a cycling infrastructure
Speaker 3: plan that included strategies to reduce bike theft. Yeah, pretty cool,
Speaker 3: But just over an hour later, his own bike was stolen.
Speaker 1: When maybe they hadn't implemented the strategy.
Speaker 3: It happened right after the speech out and he ducked
Speaker 3: into a store to get something real quick. When he
Speaker 3: came back out, his bike was gone. Afterwards, he called
Speaker 3: the press conference and said, quote, I feel so stupid.
Speaker 3: I was inside for just two minutes. How could this happen.
Speaker 3: I just talked about strategies.
Speaker 1: You have more politicians like him. Anyone that starts I
Speaker 1: feel so stupid.
Speaker 3: He also posted a photo of his missing bike, which
Speaker 3: is orange has a basket on the front. Oh sweet man, Well,
Speaker 3: isn't the usual desirable bike that crooks can sell on
Speaker 3: Craigslist be pretty famous?
Speaker 1: Now if even we're talking about his bike?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Still though it hasn't been found, and now the locals
Speaker 3: are criticizing him for using his status and platform to
Speaker 3: call attention to his own missing bike when there's hundreds
Speaker 3: of theirs still unaccounted for.
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe he was hoping they'd find his bike with theirs.
Speaker 10: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Maybe sounds like a typical selfish politician to me. Okay,
Speaker 3: this next Laser stories out of the Country of Countries.
Speaker 3: Music icon Dolly Parton just launched a new line that's
Speaker 3: turning some heads.
Speaker 1: Oh give it to me.
Speaker 3: I love her and also wagging some tails. Huh that's right.
Speaker 3: It's a fashion line for dogs called Doggy. Parton is awesome.
Speaker 1: Why is everything she to which is just amazing?
Speaker 3: She is just wholesome. She is just a pure angel.
Speaker 1: What do you get?
Speaker 3: The line will feature shirts dresses, squeaky toys, and even
Speaker 3: a blond puppy wig inspired by Parton herself.
Speaker 1: I was hoping for a part and bust yeah.
Speaker 3: With nine to five, And in true Dolly fashion, a
Speaker 3: portion of the proceeds will go to Willoughby Farms, a
Speaker 3: rescue organization that provides a home for displaced animals.
Speaker 1: I love you, Dolly Carton.
Speaker 3: So you can shop the collection now on Amazon and
Speaker 3: pick out toys shaped like doggy stilettos and rhinestone and
Speaker 3: pink pearl collars for your pampered pooch. But definitely the
Speaker 3: blonde puppy wig is by far the fan favorite.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to get it now. It's gonna sell out,
Speaker 1: there's no way.
Speaker 3: Dolly said in a statement, Puppy Love was my very
Speaker 3: first record, and six decades later, my love for pets
Speaker 3: is stronger than ever.
Speaker 1: Six decades.
Speaker 3: Wow, and she doesn't look it, No, and she's still
Speaker 3: she said. This inspired me to start my own line
Speaker 3: of doggy part and apparel, accessories and toys more with
Speaker 3: a little Dolly flair.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I can't wait to TikTok.
Speaker 1: Yeah great, you need to get it for your roommates store.
Speaker 3: Oh my God, yeah, probably the right size for her
Speaker 3: to just wear it as a crap test.
Speaker 7: True.
Speaker 3: This next laser story is out of food News. Everyone
Speaker 3: knows fast food isn't exactly the healthiest option for you
Speaker 3: to have, but we keep on eating it anyway.
Speaker 2: It tastes so good.
Speaker 3: Yeah yep. So here's a question. How many years of
Speaker 3: your life would you be willing to give up to
Speaker 3: keep eating fast food?
Speaker 11: Duh?
Speaker 3: Well online food blog pulled over three thousand adults and
Speaker 3: the average answer was four.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you would give up four years of
Speaker 1: your life?
Speaker 3: Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 1: If I don't want to sound like snotty, but I
Speaker 1: just I really don't eat fast food.
Speaker 2: I crave it.
Speaker 3: Oh man, you sounded naughty. Most of the rest of
Speaker 3: the not snatty people love fast food so much they're
Speaker 3: willing to give up four years of their life for it.
Speaker 3: That's just the average. In America. Three states would be willing.
Speaker 3: Three states would be willing to give up more than
Speaker 3: a decade of their life, Like I'm willing to just
Speaker 3: never have been born.
Speaker 6: Give me all.
Speaker 3: Montana, North Dakota, and Hawaii. All of them said twelve
Speaker 3: a dozen years. They're willing to give up the amazing food.
Speaker 3: The Pole also found most people would rather give up
Speaker 3: alcohol than fast food, and one in four people think
Speaker 3: eating fast food every now and then actually has health benefits.
Speaker 5: It does when you're hungover.
Speaker 3: Yeah, scientists, I mean honestly, it may be true, because
Speaker 3: I know this guy's been working on a lettuce ley
Speaker 3: for three years now that he found in a discarded
Speaker 3: Big Mac. It sounds like he's doing just one. It's
Speaker 3: that special man gets going. That sound means laser story
Speaker 3: just come to an end for the day. We'll do
Speaker 3: it again, same time on Wednesday.
Speaker 7: Frooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: Let's take a moment to shine a light on one
Speaker 3: of the most underappreciated things in our lives.
Speaker 1: Okay, are we talking about filters? Oh?
Speaker 3: We use them for everything, but they never get the
Speaker 3: credit they deserve. Because there's air filters that clean the
Speaker 3: air in our homes and our cars. Coffee filters give
Speaker 3: you that smooth cup of morning Joe.
Speaker 1: I have a filter on my mouth every day to
Speaker 1: make sure it don't say custory.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and don't forget Instagram filters, which I never have
Speaker 3: to use because I'm so pants. Oh right, I mean,
Speaker 3: if anything, I do use them to make myself look uglier,
Speaker 3: so I don't break the internet with my striking good luck.
Speaker 1: That's why Instagram was going to start that Jeffrey filter
Speaker 1: that everybody.
Speaker 3: Else exactly zombie. Yeah, and I bet you didn't know.
Speaker 3: We actually have a very important filter that we use
Speaker 3: on our show. It's called the loser Line. It filters
Speaker 3: out all the undesirables trying to hit on you. So
Speaker 3: time to clean out the filter and play a brand
Speaker 3: new batch of loser line messages coming up?
Speaker 7: What's would you wait a minute?
Speaker 10: Is this the right number?
Speaker 7: It's the loser line? Good by, Just call.
Speaker 3: Me back if you haven't heard the loser line before.
Speaker 3: It works like this. Let's say someone approaches you while
Speaker 3: you're out at the club and uses this charming pickup
Speaker 3: line on you. Hey girl, is it cool if I
Speaker 3: tie your shoes? Because I'm not letting you fall for anyone.
Speaker 1: Else but me, Batman, I mean without the voice, I
Speaker 1: kind of liked it.
Speaker 3: Whatever you do, don't call the good people at Arkham
Speaker 3: Asylum to tell them to take them away. Instead, tell
Speaker 3: him you'd like to play with his grappling hook a
Speaker 3: little bit and that's when you get in the numbers
Speaker 3: of the loser line. So hopefully he calls you and
Speaker 3: leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play on the air.
Speaker 3: Voicemails like this one.
Speaker 6: Next Messa, Yo, Cheryl, go.
Speaker 11: Come on. It's like, uh, but it is like ten
Speaker 11: o'clock or something where you at Joel, you got to call.
Speaker 10: Me back.
Speaker 3: Next annoying, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: It really sounds like he's at a party by himself.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think it was just him o'clock.
Speaker 3: On New Year's Eve, and you'll never guess, but it
Speaker 3: was not midnight yet, so he called back.
Speaker 6: Next message, Jero, it's it's New Year's New Year's e.
Speaker 11: You gotta give me a call back. What do you
Speaker 11: got going on? But it's like, it's almost midnight, so
Speaker 11: give me a call back. You gotta be alone.
Speaker 9: I'm alone.
Speaker 2: I'm not so bad as out there.
Speaker 3: That's the only time you'll ever hear somebody cheer after
Speaker 3: saying I'm alone.
Speaker 12: Yeah, they're good for you, man.
Speaker 3: It definitely sounds like Brooke on just a normal night.
Speaker 1: Support this guy.
Speaker 3: What do you say if we do this one more time?
Speaker 3: Because yes, he did call back again.
Speaker 6: Next me jero, come.
Speaker 10: On now, we come on, h go on't go.
Speaker 4: Next mesage.
Speaker 3: I love them so probably the best lose one of
Speaker 3: the year already.
Speaker 12: It really is, and it's every year's ef I've ever experienced,
Speaker 12: like real excited at the beginning realizing the night wasn't
Speaker 12: going to be one of those to be and then just.
Speaker 3: It's a real journey, and you know that five minutes
Speaker 3: after that he passed out. Remember you can get the
Speaker 3: special Loser line number if you text the word loser
Speaker 3: l O s e R to seven eight five nine
Speaker 3: to have somebody call it and we can play their
Speaker 3: voicemail on the air. Voicemails like this one next.
Speaker 6: Message, Hi, this is I just wanted to call you
Speaker 6: back again and talk to you about these solar panels
Speaker 6: we were talking about. I know you had mentioned you
Speaker 6: really care about the environment like the rest of us,
Speaker 6: and you know there's these solar panels. They'll really help
Speaker 6: you out a lot. They'll help out the environments whom
Speaker 6: Mother Nature will really appreciate it. And on top of that,
Speaker 6: you'll stay so much money, hundreds and hundreds of dollars
Speaker 6: every month on your electricity bill. It's a win win situation.
Speaker 6: It's actually not just an investment in yourself, it's an
Speaker 6: investment in mother Nature as well, you know, And I
Speaker 6: think that's that's the biggest thing.
Speaker 9: You know.
Speaker 6: We're all just trying to respect the land that we
Speaker 6: live on and give back to everybody. So let me
Speaker 6: know we are ready to go whenever you are for
Speaker 6: the environment. You have a great day, now, bye bye the.
Speaker 1: Next does anyone else feel like Mother Nature is involved
Speaker 1: in a pyramid scame?
Speaker 3: It's possible. I don't know why this guy got the
Speaker 3: loser line, though, I feel like women are so jaded.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 3: This sounds like a and that cares about the environment.
Speaker 3: And he went to some girls like do you care
Speaker 3: about saving Mother Nature? And the woman was like, okay, perv,
Speaker 3: all right, I'm giving you the loser line.
Speaker 1: I still think he's a perv. Okay, there's something he's not.
Speaker 9: No, it was not sincere next message.
Speaker 5: Since you've been gone. I can't read the first time, Henry.
Speaker 5: I'm so moving on. Yeah, yeah, thanks to you.
Speaker 8: Now I get what I want.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, Henry. I know it's only been like
Speaker 5: twenty minutes since you left my apartment, but I just
Speaker 5: want to say I really miss you, and hopefully you
Speaker 5: really liked hanging out with me, and you liked that
Speaker 5: little song that I did, because I can keep singing
Speaker 5: it for you over and over again. Since you've been gone.
Speaker 5: I can read saw the first time. I'm so moving. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: thanks to you, Hi hand that great night since you've
Speaker 5: been gon Oh wow.
Speaker 1: I love the craziest I love that, I don't.
Speaker 3: She grasps the purpose of that song. It's a breakup song.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's glad that you're gone. Jealous I could finally
Speaker 1: bring okay.
Speaker 3: At least he's a good singer though. Yeah, but I
Speaker 3: would not want to be stuck in a room with
Speaker 3: that woman for more than ten minutes.
Speaker 1: She's living her own musicales we walk in.
Speaker 3: She's like, guessing is bad?
Speaker 10: Yeah, it's you.
Speaker 3: We need to hook her up with the New Year's guy.
Speaker 4: Lean.
Speaker 3: Listen to Loser Line regularly at this time every week.
Speaker 3: Your phone taps coming up right after this.
Speaker 7: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: When it comes to the hardest, most thankless jobs, one
Speaker 3: of them near the very top has to be caregivers
Speaker 3: for the elderly. Oh yeah, your angels and saints. If
Speaker 3: you're listening. I mean, they provide such a critical service,
Speaker 3: giving all their time and their energy and their compassion
Speaker 3: to do things that frankly, most people probably wouldn't have
Speaker 3: the patience to do them.
Speaker 1: So that's why family sent them to homes.
Speaker 3: So we just want to thank them for all their
Speaker 3: amazing work that they do in the community, and that
Speaker 3: now that we've praised caregivers, it's time to prank one.
Speaker 3: She was set up by her friend because she's about
Speaker 3: to start helping with a brand new family tomorrow. Okay,
Speaker 3: and she'll need to talk with the family first. I
Speaker 3: don't think it's going to go very well. You'll hear
Speaker 3: it in your phone. Tap right now. Another on the twenties. Hello, Hey,
Speaker 3: I'm looking to speak with Crystal.
Speaker 4: Yes, this is she.
Speaker 3: Hey Crystal, this is Will. I think you just got
Speaker 3: hired to do some caregiving work for my family.
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, hi, Will, how are you.
Speaker 3: Hey? I'm good. I just spoke with the agency that
Speaker 3: recommended you, and they were telling me some pretty great things.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 8: I mean, I've been doing this for four years for
Speaker 8: a lot of different families, so I'm looking forward to
Speaker 8: walking with you.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't know if the agency told you
Speaker 3: about the duties that are going to be involved with
Speaker 3: my grandpa and everything.
Speaker 8: Just the standard meal planning, medication reminder, helping him get
Speaker 8: things done, stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, did they mention the nocturnal chowdownia situation?
Speaker 9: No?
Speaker 3: Sorry, what was that nocturnal chowdownia? They didn't tell you.
Speaker 8: No, would you mind filling me in?
Speaker 3: I'm kind of surprised that I mentioned this. So Grams
Speaker 3: only eats when he sleeps, so the medical term is
Speaker 3: nocturnal chowdown ya, So when he closes his eyes, then
Speaker 3: you're gonna have to get to work.
Speaker 8: Is that through like an IV then I'm assuming No,
Speaker 8: it's not like that.
Speaker 3: We're not at that point yet. But basically, he won't
Speaker 3: eat when he's awake, and obviously he needs food, so
Speaker 3: whenever he takes his five minute power naps, you need
Speaker 3: to be cramming a banana down in there.
Speaker 8: Okay, I'm sorry, I need to get this straight. So
Speaker 8: he has to be fully asleep like to I'm sorry,
Speaker 8: can you just explain it one more time?
Speaker 9: I've just never heard of this.
Speaker 3: Well, no, it's actually pretty easy. So, like he'll be
Speaker 3: in the middle of watching Wheel of Fortune and then
Speaker 3: he'll counk out. And so as soon as you see
Speaker 3: that happen, then you need to be microwaving hot pockets
Speaker 3: like Martha Stewart on crap, get him heated up, stuff
Speaker 3: him in his mouth before he wakes up.
Speaker 8: And I think that's what I'm confused about, the stuffing
Speaker 8: in his mouth.
Speaker 3: You're going to have to do it as quiet as
Speaker 3: you can, so I recommend maybe sneaking up from behind
Speaker 3: and then tie his hands to the chair.
Speaker 8: Oh I don't think it will be necessary to restrain him.
Speaker 3: Oh, trust me, it is because he can actually get
Speaker 3: pretty intense feeding him. Sometimes we'll try and fight it
Speaker 3: in his sleep, you know, yeah, because his subconscious doesn't
Speaker 3: want him to eat, and he'll be throwing karate chops,
Speaker 3: fists will start flying. But that's why the restraints are there.
Speaker 3: Use any force necessary to make it happen.
Speaker 8: Well, I don't know if I'm really comfortable using force
Speaker 8: to feed a patient.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, no one is really comfortable at first. But
Speaker 3: just to know that we have a closet full of
Speaker 3: rope and restraints and wires, all shapes and sizes in there.
Speaker 3: Whatever you need, we're behind you, all right, And Okay,
Speaker 3: it's not for anything weird. It's just for restraining Grandpa.
Speaker 8: Right right. I'm sorry, this is so much information all
Speaker 8: at once.
Speaker 3: Okay, you do you want to write it down?
Speaker 4: You know what?
Speaker 8: No, I don't think i'm the right person for this job.
Speaker 8: I don't know if I'm going to be able to
Speaker 8: be a caregiver for your grandfather.
Speaker 3: That you have a problem feeding old people. No on
Speaker 3: your resume.
Speaker 8: What I said is that I am not the right
Speaker 8: person for this position, and I have never dealt with
Speaker 8: this condition, and I just want the best care for him.
Speaker 3: But but you're starting tomorrow though, and the agency said
Speaker 3: that you were willing to help with whatever we need.
Speaker 8: Well, the agency didn't tell me that I need to
Speaker 8: be tying up Grandpa and shoving food down his throat.
Speaker 8: So I'm just I'm trying to tell you that I
Speaker 8: will not be able to start.
Speaker 3: You mean spitting it in his mouth. Excuse me, you'd
Speaker 3: be spitting it in his mouth because Grandpa doesn't chew
Speaker 3: since he's sleeping, so you'll pre chew his food and
Speaker 3: then baby bird it into his mouth.
Speaker 4: And it's oh my god, that is not how that
Speaker 4: is done.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but like you can eat some of it too,
Speaker 3: if you want. Excuse me, Like the peanut riddle that
Speaker 3: he has is pretty good, so when you chew it up,
Speaker 3: you just spit some to him and then swallow whatever
Speaker 3: you don't.
Speaker 8: I can't think of a worse food than peanut riddle
Speaker 8: to feed this man in this condition. Excuse me?
Speaker 4: Are you?
Speaker 8: Are you laughing?
Speaker 3: I mean trying not to, it's so funny. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I just you know, your friend Mason said that you
Speaker 3: were into this kind of stuff, so I don't know,
Speaker 3: maybe she was wrong.
Speaker 8: How do you know my friend Mason?
Speaker 2: Who are you?
Speaker 3: I only know her because she's the one who set
Speaker 3: you up for this prank phone call.
Speaker 10: Holy cry, Oh there's no Wishard did this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not from the family who hired you. My
Speaker 3: name's actually jeff from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey
Speaker 3: in the Morning, and we're doing a phone tap on you.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Way, your best friend Mason said that you set
Speaker 3: her up on a bad blind date recently, and this
Speaker 3: was her way of getting revenge.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that didn't go well.
Speaker 3: Honestly, though, I think you'd get a lot more jobs
Speaker 3: if you put baby birding on your resume, or maybe'd
Speaker 3: get more dates, right.
Speaker 9: You know, I don't think I've seen that one.
Speaker 8: I'm tinder, but.
Speaker 4: You never know.
Speaker 8: It's out there.
Speaker 3: Trust me, it works.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I'm sure it does.
Speaker 7: Weeke up every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on
Speaker 7: the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: We all have our favorite athletes on a team, yeah,
Speaker 3: our favorite characters in a TV show, or our favorite
Speaker 3: ballgag in the dungeon. And I'll admit on this radio
Speaker 3: program we have a list of favorite listeners who've called
Speaker 3: in for our help before.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 3: Normally we figure out a way to drive those people
Speaker 3: away forever. Yeah, but there is one of them who
Speaker 3: keeps coming back for more, including today. It's gonna be
Speaker 3: his fourth appearance on the radio airwaves. We call him
Speaker 3: Matt Many a mission to get action.
Speaker 1: He sounds like Matt Man, but like a lot less
Speaker 1: Testosterolan exactly.
Speaker 3: We'll refresh your memory with your secondary update next second
Speaker 3: date update. It's a record breaking fourth time this person
Speaker 3: has been on the show requesting our help. It's none
Speaker 3: other than the Caped Crusada of Romance. When I say caped,
Speaker 3: I mean he's got his extra long jammies on this morning,
Speaker 3: Matt Man. Is that Welcome.
Speaker 9: Back, Matt, Hey, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: You guys, it's like we're starting to be the superheroes
Speaker 1: of your life. We're helping so much.
Speaker 3: You know, we're not super maybe mediocre hero Clearly we're
Speaker 3: not very good at it. But real quick, for those
Speaker 3: of you who have not heard of Matt Man before,
Speaker 3: he's a friend of the show. And we call him
Speaker 3: matt Man because on one of the very first dates
Speaker 3: we ever heard from him, he went out to a
Speaker 3: movie premiere dressed as the Dark Knight, and ever since then,
Speaker 3: his legend has lived on Yes, along with his ever
Speaker 3: active dating profile.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Matt, last.
Speaker 3: Time that we heard from you, I thought, tell me
Speaker 3: if I'm wrong, I thought we you had a girlfriend before?
Speaker 3: Is that right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 9: That that one didn't really work out too well?
Speaker 1: But just because what doesn't mean it wasn't a success. Sure,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure you learn from it, grew from it.
Speaker 3: So now we're doing another second date update. So you
Speaker 3: must have met someone new, right?
Speaker 4: I did? Yeah?
Speaker 9: I met I met a girl Jackie on the app.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, would you like about Jackie?
Speaker 9: I mean right off the bat, she was great. I
Speaker 9: mean she looked just like her pictures.
Speaker 1: Was that a bat pun?
Speaker 7: Or no?
Speaker 3: Right off the bat? Gotcha? I he was going to
Speaker 3: call her jack her like joker. Yeah, okay, Well she
Speaker 3: looked like she said she was going to look like.
Speaker 1: The standards are still very high.
Speaker 3: All right? What did you end up doing with Jackie?
Speaker 9: Well, Jackie, she wanted me to pick her up, so
Speaker 9: I just said, hop in my mapmobile?
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 3: What's the actual card?
Speaker 9: It's a It's a Hyundai.
Speaker 4: Just like.
Speaker 3: Classy? All right? And how are you feeling heading into
Speaker 3: the day.
Speaker 9: I was maybe a little nervous at the beginning, so
Speaker 9: I just thought, yeah, So I thought i'd bounce it
Speaker 9: out with some of my patented, world famous mat Man humor.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, what do you mean? What'd you go with
Speaker 3: a knock knock joke?
Speaker 9: I started with one of the classics, the old parallel trick.
Speaker 3: What's that if I'm familiar with that one?
Speaker 9: So I thought it would be funny if I pretended
Speaker 9: like I couldn't parallel park. So I asked Jackie if
Speaker 9: she could go outside and maybe spot me and like
Speaker 9: tell me if I was getting close, or I was
Speaker 9: going to hit the curb. Like around like the third
Speaker 9: or fourth time, I decided I'm just going to pretend
Speaker 9: to drive away, So like I drove away.
Speaker 5: What the curb?
Speaker 1: There's no way she was laughing.
Speaker 9: I was only gone for like ten seconds. Like the
Speaker 9: look of horror on her face was.
Speaker 3: I could see that. I could see how that could
Speaker 3: do for you.
Speaker 1: And it's funny, Like six months into a relationship, it's
Speaker 1: not funny the first like literally, you haven't even had
Speaker 1: dinner with this person yet, laughing funny.
Speaker 9: It's just like, oh, she said something like, don't ever
Speaker 9: do that again, but I need that too.
Speaker 3: Funny. She doesn't want to laugh to.
Speaker 1: But I will say if she says don't do that again.
Speaker 1: Her mindset is that there could be a next time
Speaker 1: you hang out.
Speaker 4: Like that.
Speaker 1: Even in her anger, there's some hope there.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is good so far. I think, where did
Speaker 3: you end up taking Jackie?
Speaker 9: So you know, I mean, I'm starting to get a
Speaker 9: little bit of dating experience, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you better every time, man.
Speaker 9: I think so. So I thought i'd step up my
Speaker 9: game and I don't know, you guys might think I'm
Speaker 9: a nube, but I took her to sushi.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3: That's a great first date to go.
Speaker 9: It was good. I mean, there are so many good flavors,
Speaker 9: so I thought.
Speaker 3: I've never thought of them as flavors.
Speaker 9: Okay, so I ordered thirteen year olls.
Speaker 1: What did you just woo?
Speaker 3: Came with an appetite rolls.
Speaker 9: Well, yeah, because I've never done sushi, So I just thought,
Speaker 9: like the roles were like this.
Speaker 3: You thought the individual pieces was a role, but one
Speaker 3: role has like six to eight slices exactly.
Speaker 9: They had to put the waiter, had to bring like
Speaker 9: a whole nother table just to attach it so we
Speaker 9: could have all this food. It's like cascading off this side.
Speaker 1: But like I would be dying of embarrassment. You're sitting
Speaker 1: there as more and more plates keep being delivered, Like
Speaker 1: it would be so cross.
Speaker 5: Like a guy to eat, Like I wouldn'tant a guy
Speaker 5: that eats less than me.
Speaker 3: So yeah, and it's kind of ball anything you want.
Speaker 3: Every role in the restaurant just dollars sushi night end.
Speaker 9: It's kind of a mess. We laughed about it and
Speaker 9: it was fun. Later I had to take a picture
Speaker 9: with her out front.
Speaker 3: Yeah, is that a bad.
Speaker 1: Alexis doesn't like that.
Speaker 3: It's a nice thing to take a picture with someone, like, Hey,
Speaker 3: let's remember this really, Okay, maybe that was a mistake
Speaker 3: of yours, Matt, I don't know.
Speaker 9: She let me touch her waist. She posted the picture. Yeah,
Speaker 9: but she cropt me out of the photo.
Speaker 1: I don't think you should be insulted by that. It
Speaker 1: would be weird.
Speaker 8: She couldn't really just take a selfie.
Speaker 9: So, I mean, I never heard from her, like I
Speaker 9: thought it was a great date.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, there has to be some sort of logical
Speaker 3: explanation for this, and we're just going to ask her directly.
Speaker 3: All right, we'll come back and do your second date
Speaker 3: update next. We're in the middle of another second date
Speaker 3: update with friend of the show Matt Man. Yeah, just
Speaker 3: a quick recap if you missed the first part. Matt
Speaker 3: did a sushi date with a woman named Jackie, gave
Speaker 3: her a little parallel parking humor before that, and then
Speaker 3: at dinner ordered thirteen different sushi rolls. Oh, because he
Speaker 3: didn't know. He thought a role meant the individual pieces
Speaker 3: of sushi.
Speaker 1: He really needed to have done sushi trade. Then he
Speaker 1: could have just picked one plate at a touch.
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, you know, it would have been better he
Speaker 3: tried to go fancy and go to a nice restaurant.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine the bill.
Speaker 3: Things were looking up at the end of the night, though,
Speaker 3: when they took a photo together in front of the
Speaker 3: restaurant and Matt, you said you touched her waist. Did
Speaker 3: she touch your grappling hook in return or was there
Speaker 3: a kiss or any sort of sign of intimacy.
Speaker 9: Well, a true hero keeps his belt on at all times.
Speaker 9: But I did get to put your waist and it
Speaker 9: was pretty awesome.
Speaker 1: Okay, nice dude. Didn't know that you've done a lot
Speaker 1: of these, Matt, Like, what do you think went wrong?
Speaker 1: Why is she not calling you back?
Speaker 9: I don't know. I I think maybe because I didn't
Speaker 9: know about the roles and the individual pieces. Maybe that, okay,
Speaker 9: we're off. Maybe she thought I was trying to show off.
Speaker 1: You didn't explain it was your first time at a
Speaker 1: sushi restaurant.
Speaker 9: No, you know, I was just trying to be mister cool.
Speaker 1: Okay, I can see that.
Speaker 3: But okay, let's just call Jackie and see if that
Speaker 3: really was the case, if she was intimidated by how
Speaker 3: many roles you can afford in one dinner.
Speaker 9: I mean, I still have some. So if she wants toushi, throw.
Speaker 3: That in at the end. We want to send you
Speaker 3: guys out on the day. First we got to call her.
Speaker 3: Let's do it. Hello, Hi, I'm looking for Jackie.
Speaker 4: Ye, hey Jackie.
Speaker 3: My name is jeff from a radio show called Brook
Speaker 3: and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 1: Hi Jackie, how are you doing?
Speaker 4: Oh the Hi everyone?
Speaker 3: Yes, Hi, whole show wanted to talk to you.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: We love people that are happy right off the bat.
Speaker 1: That's awesome.
Speaker 3: It's a breath of fresh air for us because we're
Speaker 3: doing something called a second date update. And oh yeah,
Speaker 3: it sounds scarier than it is. We're calling because you
Speaker 3: went out on a date with one of our listeners.
Speaker 1: I would call the good friend of the show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean he's honestly a VIP member of our
Speaker 3: listening audience. His name is Matt.
Speaker 9: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, Matt. Like hearing you laugh about it because we
Speaker 3: heard you guys had a great sushi date the other night.
Speaker 4: It was an experience.
Speaker 2: That's good.
Speaker 1: I mean, if I saw it was an experience, I'd
Speaker 1: give that a five stars.
Speaker 3: That's a good thing. Like IMAX calls themselves an experience
Speaker 3: better than.
Speaker 4: Right and for the most part, yeah, some of them
Speaker 4: were a little quirky, but yeah, it was all. It
Speaker 4: was all pretty fun.
Speaker 1: Oh why did you call it him back? He's been
Speaker 1: trying to get a hold of you. He wants to
Speaker 1: see you again.
Speaker 4: Well at the end of the night, okay, so he
Speaker 4: took a picture of us, which was a little different
Speaker 4: for a first dape.
Speaker 3: But if we know anything about Matt, it's that he's
Speaker 3: a bold man and he goes for what he likes
Speaker 3: and that he just really wanted to commemorate the night with.
Speaker 4: You, right right. And it was a really cute picture.
Speaker 4: And so when I got home, I showed my roommate
Speaker 4: the picture and she was like horrified, I guess, Like
Speaker 4: so we had one of his hands was like, you know,
Speaker 4: like around my waist, and he said that he was
Speaker 4: making like a gang sign like with his hand, and
Speaker 4: I don't know, like.
Speaker 1: Like what like throwing west side up.
Speaker 4: Okay, I don't know. I had no idea idea what
Speaker 4: it was, and I kind of thought she was kidding
Speaker 4: at first, but she had us look it up. And
Speaker 4: I'm not going to say, like what it was, but
Speaker 4: yeah it was. It was like it was a gang
Speaker 4: sign and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a street gag.
Speaker 1: Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, it was. It was like an actual streak gang,
Speaker 4: like a.
Speaker 2: Famous street game.
Speaker 3: It was like ears.
Speaker 1: Bunny feels more, Matt.
Speaker 3: What's up? I had no idea Matt was in a
Speaker 3: gang like that.
Speaker 1: She is. Are you sure it couldn't have been something
Speaker 1: he did on accident that happened to be similar.
Speaker 4: That's what I was trying to like say to her,
Speaker 4: but she was like no, like she was so sure,
Speaker 4: and she got to freak me out, so I I
Speaker 4: I'll just play it face just in case.
Speaker 6: So I was just like, no, Zank, what if he's
Speaker 6: like an og gang member?
Speaker 3: We have no idea, That's what I'm saying. I just
Speaker 3: want to ask him right now because I got to
Speaker 3: let you know, Jackie, Matt is on the other line
Speaker 3: right now.
Speaker 4: Oh what was it a gang? Now I'm in trouble.
Speaker 4: I think it's.
Speaker 1: Probably good gangs don't call radio?
Speaker 9: Are you there?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 9: Oh my god, like gang signs? Do you really think
Speaker 9: I'm a gang banger?
Speaker 4: It was my roommate. She freaked me.
Speaker 9: Out, even like seriously, like do I look like a
Speaker 9: gang banger? Do I sound like stereotype?
Speaker 1: It's not stereotype, Matt.
Speaker 3: Do you know what she's talking about? What hand signals
Speaker 3: she's talking about?
Speaker 9: Yes, yes, I do it all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, why would you do it all the time if
Speaker 1: you know it's a gang symbol?
Speaker 7: Matt.
Speaker 9: It's not a gang symbol. It's the bat symbol.
Speaker 1: Jackie, Likeman, is that what you're saying?
Speaker 9: Yeah, Jackie, you might. I didn't tell you this mostly
Speaker 9: for your safety, but.
Speaker 4: Wow, right, that's what that sounds like.
Speaker 3: The gang that he's talking about is like a superhero
Speaker 3: league that type.
Speaker 9: Of gang, what like D and D No Justice League.
Speaker 9: I'm a huge fan. I'm part of the bat family.
Speaker 9: It's not a gang.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he loves Batman. Yeah he's He's a big Batman
Speaker 3: fand know that like comic books.
Speaker 4: I mean I knew that, but I know a lot
Speaker 4: of people who are like into that stuff and they
Speaker 4: don't have like weird hand symbols.
Speaker 3: And like I do think a gang member is hotter.
Speaker 9: But yes, it's like it's like a sign I'm trying
Speaker 9: to make popular with my posse, Like I guess you know.
Speaker 4: You made it up?
Speaker 9: Well, you know, I'm I'm trying to get it started,
Speaker 9: you know, like because my hand is like the wig,
Speaker 9: and then if I move my thumb it's kind of
Speaker 9: like the head.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I kind of like that. That way you can
Speaker 3: be out on the street and secretly know who else
Speaker 3: is a Batman fan, and rather than having to go
Speaker 3: up and.
Speaker 7: Ask you to get like a gang.
Speaker 3: Yeah, flash it when you're walking down the street and
Speaker 3: you're like.
Speaker 12: Mad dance with my feet shod the same time I'm
Speaker 12: with hose on this one.
Speaker 1: You gotta drop it. It's going to give you in trouble.
Speaker 1: It's already getting you in trouble.
Speaker 3: That someone sees that in the wrong neighborhood.
Speaker 2: Not even a joke.
Speaker 12: You want to have to actually defend your woman just
Speaker 12: because you're being a silly.
Speaker 3: Or you become the coolest guy in that neighborhood. Just
Speaker 3: street cred.
Speaker 9: I like it, but I mean, I don't want to
Speaker 9: get I don't want to get beat up.
Speaker 3: I doubt anybody could beat up matt Man. You're just
Speaker 3: being nice.
Speaker 4: Who's ma Man? Is that you?
Speaker 1: So? I didn't mean to out there we call him
Speaker 1: mat Man.
Speaker 9: Oh yeah, that's my secret identity. Is blown now.
Speaker 2: Listeners, he's popular.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he makes us laugh a lot.
Speaker 4: No, that you absolutely were making me laugh the whole time.
Speaker 4: I swear that's all it was.
Speaker 3: Well, that's great. I mean, if you take out the
Speaker 3: hand signal, it sounded like you guys had a really
Speaker 3: good night together.
Speaker 4: And I mean, yeah, minus am not really being able
Speaker 4: to parallel park that well.
Speaker 3: Actually there's a funny story to that.
Speaker 4: He told me it was a joke, but I don't know.
Speaker 4: After like the fourth or fifth time, I was like,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe you drive to the next day. Yeah, maybe that.
Speaker 3: I think that might be best and will pay for
Speaker 3: that date if you agree to go on it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's fine. All of these secrets are not gang
Speaker 4: related and sounds great.
Speaker 3: All right, Okay, congratulations Matt Man.
Speaker 4: One request though, if we get sushi again, please don't
Speaker 4: order so many roles. I don't think that was necessary.
Speaker 9: I just thought the roles were I mean, it's like
Speaker 9: a bread roll, isn't like.
Speaker 2: Just say yes, Matt, yes, Matt.
Speaker 3: All right, you know what, We're just gonna call it
Speaker 3: a win. Good job brooking Jeffrey in the morning, and
Speaker 3: I'm really happy that we were able to get another
Speaker 3: date from Matt Man.
Speaker 1: I liked her a lot too. I think they could
Speaker 1: be a really cute couple.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she was actually pretty chill, and honestly, that was
Speaker 3: maybe one of the easiest second date updates we've ever
Speaker 3: had to do for him before.
Speaker 1: All it takes is calling into our show four times
Speaker 1: for us to get good at helping you out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know the bat sign gang sign mixed up?
Speaker 3: That one's actually pretty easily explainable. Really stop doing that. Honestly,
Speaker 3: I think if we would have stayed on the phone
Speaker 3: with her longer, the more likely she would have and
Speaker 3: ultimately said no. The more that she learned, you know
Speaker 3: about in dressing up like a superhero, going to the movies,
Speaker 3: hanging upside down from pipes and dark alley ways, Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's where it could have gotten weird. But luckily we
Speaker 3: didn't bring any of that up, didn't have time to.
Speaker 3: So I'm proud of us bring the weird himself that
Speaker 3: he just did.
Speaker 1: Again, I'm hoping she's not.
Speaker 3: No matter what, best of luck, Matt's a good guy.
Speaker 3: If you want to be like Matt and email the
Speaker 3: show over and over and over for help, We're always here.
Speaker 3: We'll call that person who isn't.
Speaker 7: Calling you back brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: Real quick. I just want to give a shout out
Speaker 3: to all the bathroom besties out there. Yeah, those friends
Speaker 3: that you make just for while you're.
Speaker 12: In the bathroom.
Speaker 1: They make you feel so good. They pumped you up,
Speaker 1: they tell you look.
Speaker 3: I remember four years ago I was using the little
Speaker 3: boys room at a Mexican restaurant and this dude came in,
Speaker 3: stood right at the journal next to mine and he said, Hey,
Speaker 3: I like your hat. Bro. I was like, oh, well, thanks, dude,
Speaker 3: I like your shirt. And we just had this instant bondy.
Speaker 3: Next thing, I know, we're laughing together, we're joking. I'm like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, you have a freckle there too.
Speaker 1: One is mine different.
Speaker 3: And then ultimately we had this big hug and then
Speaker 3: we zipped up and walked out, never to see each
Speaker 3: other ever again. And I've always wondered what happened to
Speaker 3: that guy. But you know, there is a special website
Speaker 3: where I guess I could potentially find him and reconnect.
Speaker 3: It's on Craigslist, where a lot of people are looking
Speaker 3: for their missed bathroom besties or maybe missed bathroom romances.
Speaker 3: We may even hear from a few of those when
Speaker 3: we do a brand new edition of Craigslist Misconnections coming up,
Speaker 3: Cuty Misconnections.
Speaker 7: That was me staring there's.
Speaker 3: Only two places where you can find true love in
Speaker 3: this world. One is inside the tiny air vent that
Speaker 3: peeks down onto your parents' bedroom on their anniversary.
Speaker 1: Now, oh gosh, that is disturbing.
Speaker 3: Better take some notes so the others. On the highly
Speaker 3: respected scholarly website craigslist dot org.
Speaker 8: There it is.
Speaker 3: We searched through it every week to find the best
Speaker 3: misconnections it has to offer, like this first one titled
Speaker 3: I heard you screaming at the divorce lawyer's office man
Speaker 3: for a woman forty one?
Speaker 1: Well, at least you know she's single, so or soon to.
Speaker 3: Be right, it says I was as I was waiting
Speaker 3: to speak with my attorney. I couldn't help but hear
Speaker 3: you shouting through the conference room plexiglass. You were yelling
Speaker 3: something about how your husband was a Neanderthal moron with
Speaker 3: a tiny venus.
Speaker 1: Yep, that's where go you keep it there.
Speaker 3: It was hard to hear, however, it was clear you
Speaker 3: were extremely upset with him. For attempting to keep the
Speaker 3: lawn gnomes. Apparently they've been in your family for years
Speaker 3: and love them more than your own children.
Speaker 1: Interesting.
Speaker 3: This may sound strange, but somehow your primal screaming turned
Speaker 3: me on strange, so I lingered near the door just
Speaker 3: so I could hear more.
Speaker 1: He just wants to be berated like her husband.
Speaker 3: That's when my attorney then motioned for me to walk
Speaker 3: down the hall to my own fate. When I walked away,
Speaker 3: I could faintly hear you yelling about how you wanted
Speaker 3: to destroy his DVD box set of King of Queens.
Speaker 1: Someone owns that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kevin James is amazing.
Speaker 3: Okay, it's probably a good idea to destroy that, even
Speaker 3: if you're not getting divorced.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So, I don't really know anything about you or your ex,
Speaker 3: but I hope you do burn those DVDs. He doesn't
Speaker 3: deserve a passionate woman like yourself, and I think Kevin
Speaker 3: James would agree with me. Contact to me if you
Speaker 3: need to commiserate or consummate or just mate. Okay.
Speaker 1: I kind of like the idea of consummating a divorce
Speaker 1: for some reason.
Speaker 3: Greg. This next misconnection is titled horse lover dripping with mystery.
Speaker 1: Ew why we got to use that.
Speaker 3: Verb for Man forty three east Side Stables. As I
Speaker 3: walked into the barn this morning, I saw you eyeing
Speaker 3: the horses with admiration. I casually introduced myself and I
Speaker 3: mentioned I hadn't seen you around here before. That's when
Speaker 3: you told me the owners recently employed you as their
Speaker 3: horse whisperer. Ah, yeah, I was intrigued as you walked
Speaker 3: over to Sebastian ever so gently. Then you revealed an
Speaker 3: apple from somewhere on your body and gave it to him.
Speaker 3: I was impressed. As Sebastian was feeding on that crisp,
Speaker 3: juicy orb, you leaned in and whispered something into his ear.
Speaker 3: Whatever you said got him all hot and bothered. Oh.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen him get up on two hoofs in years, Oh, whisperer.
Speaker 1: I thought that's a good reaction or a bad reaction
Speaker 1: from Sebastian. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I had an incredible ride that day, and when I
Speaker 3: was trotting back to the barn, I witnessed Sebastian mounting
Speaker 3: a philly with authority.
Speaker 1: Oh oh wow.
Speaker 3: Cow boy, Okay, I thought we.
Speaker 1: Were going to train the horses to do something different.
Speaker 3: But apparently I found out later you were not a
Speaker 3: horse risper like you said, but a drifter who had
Speaker 3: snuck onto the property from midnight of a warm meal.
Speaker 1: It's like, I feel like people don't give horses apples
Speaker 1: because they're.
Speaker 3: If you see this, no one thing. Whoever you are,
Speaker 3: you have a gift, and that gift is using your
Speaker 3: voice to get animals to mate. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1: That's that's the next superhero and.
Speaker 3: I have the same exact gift. So this next misconnection
Speaker 3: is titled We met at the sleep disorder clinic man
Speaker 3: for woman thirty three, me short, dark hair, silver vest,
Speaker 3: black pants, and told you I was fighting off night terrors.
Speaker 1: Oh you saw?
Speaker 3: That's ever happened to you?
Speaker 2: Guys were like two three nights in a row.
Speaker 3: You're just constantly. You also had dark hair, ponytail, wearing
Speaker 3: tan shorts, and dealing with high grade narcolepsy.
Speaker 1: Ah wow, So how much of the conversation did she hear?
Speaker 3: Over the next five minutes, we shared sleep disorder stories
Speaker 3: and giggled like school children. I don't know, sometimes I
Speaker 3: wake up screaming like sometimes he goes on. When you
Speaker 3: told me you fell asleep at the DMV four times
Speaker 3: while they tried to take your license picture.
Speaker 1: Wow, I'm gonna say that's understandable. But during the picture,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I l o led so hard I almost touted py
Speaker 3: rights in parentheses. Okay, to be honest, I actually did.
Speaker 9: Okay, sneak out.
Speaker 3: Why would you share that at one point you really
Speaker 3: did not off during one of my story, But that's okay.
Speaker 3: I wasn't offended. I know with one hundred percent positivity.
Speaker 3: My story wasn't boring. It was just your condition.
Speaker 1: That's just keep telling yourself that, buddy.
Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, you don't know this, but as you were
Speaker 3: in dreamland, I took a picture of you with my
Speaker 3: phone as you drove on a pile of doctors magazines.
Speaker 3: As I gently shook you, you screamed, where am i?
Speaker 1: Oh Shao.
Speaker 3: I smiled and thought to myself, I always wanted to
Speaker 3: be with a screamer.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, she was terrified, sir.
Speaker 3: That's when the nurse called your name and I never
Speaker 3: saw you again. I'm hoping someday I can find someone
Speaker 3: like you who understands me, and maybe if I learned
Speaker 3: to trust you, I'll let you chain me to the
Speaker 3: bed so I don't hurt others.
Speaker 1: How did we get there? He was talking about farts
Speaker 1: two seconds ago.
Speaker 3: The night terror is apparently really bad. Yeah, okay, that's
Speaker 3: signed Diggle.
Speaker 1: It's not a name. You're going to be screaming out
Speaker 1: to the Sexy Way.
Speaker 3: No challenge exception. Those are your Craigslist misconnections.
Speaker 7: Frooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: Brook is going for three wins in a row today
Speaker 3: and it's going to be a rubber much against Brian
Speaker 3: from Takeoma. What's up, Brian?
Speaker 2: Bryan?
Speaker 9: What's up?
Speaker 11: You guys can call me Brook's worst nightmare.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're coming in hot.
Speaker 3: And Brian, the last time you played Brook, you lost?
Speaker 3: Is that correct?
Speaker 4: I didn't lose? How about that?
Speaker 1: Okay? Okay? I like I like your positive attitude.
Speaker 3: It's the spirit of a winner.
Speaker 1: What's different today than that other time we played?
Speaker 11: I don't have to pay.
Speaker 9: Oh yeah, no, I couldn't plan the bushes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just go the hallway. When I'm out there
Speaker 1: and you're answering questions garbage can Why don't.
Speaker 3: You go relieve yourself right now?
Speaker 8: Brooke?
Speaker 1: Okay, I can actually stand up while I do it?
Speaker 2: Too.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 11: Wowsive.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I sit down, Brook's going to soil the
Speaker 3: outside of the studio. And while that happens, Brian, you
Speaker 3: know the game's played. You have thirty seconds to answer
Speaker 3: as many questions as possible if you don't know, and
Speaker 3: just say pass, and you have to beat Brooke outright
Speaker 3: to win.
Speaker 2: You're ready, I'm ready, all right?
Speaker 3: Your time starts now. Today is National Popcorn Day. What
Speaker 3: state produces the most popcorn each year? What decade did
Speaker 3: the exclamation point become the standard on the typewriter?
Speaker 4: Sixty?
Speaker 3: The Amazon River starts in Peru and empties into what
Speaker 3: famous body of water?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 10: Yeah, that's the ocean.
Speaker 3: What's the last name of the family in the TV
Speaker 3: show Family Guy?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 3: Do bears poop while hibernating?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: All right, emphatic cancer on the last one. Let's bring
Speaker 3: Brook back into the studio. And so, Brian, have you
Speaker 3: set any goals for yourself for the new year?
Speaker 2: Yet?
Speaker 4: Yes? I have.
Speaker 11: I'm bringing back the old term yolo.
Speaker 2: You only live once.
Speaker 5: Gotta have that attitude in your basement.
Speaker 1: In your basement, Why in your basement, Brian, your.
Speaker 3: Apartment, the balcony, wherever, you only live once, partly like.
Speaker 7: A rock star.
Speaker 1: All Right, feel like there's a lot of bumper stickers
Speaker 1: that just came out of Brian's.
Speaker 4: Car.
Speaker 1: I'm going to start, thank you, brook Yeah there, yo, yolo.
Speaker 3: All right, Broke, you're ready? Yeah, your time starts now.
Speaker 3: Today is National Popcorn Day. What state produces the most
Speaker 3: popcorn each year?
Speaker 2: Iowa?
Speaker 3: What decades did the exclamation point become the standard on
Speaker 3: the typewriter?
Speaker 1: Forties?
Speaker 3: The Amazon River starts in Peru and empties into what
Speaker 3: famous body of water?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 1: In the Caribbean?
Speaker 3: C what's the last name of the family in the
Speaker 3: TV show Family Guy Pass? Do bears poop while hibernating?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: At over twelve thousand feet? What mountain is the tallest
Speaker 3: point in all of Japan?
Speaker 1: You can see it, Fuji.
Speaker 3: You can see it in my head? Oh okay, looking
Speaker 3: out the window. I mean, I know you have big glasses,
Speaker 3: but I didn't know that that much. Soon on, Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 3: let's go to the scoreboard and find out how you
Speaker 3: both did with Jose.
Speaker 12: Thanksgiving right around the corner, and this pilgrim is feeling
Speaker 12: pretty proud.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not that close to Thanksgiving unless you're Brook
Speaker 3: and you can see that far into the future. Anyway,
Speaker 3: how we doing, Jose, Brian, you did good. You got
Speaker 3: to correct today.
Speaker 1: That's respectable, Brian.
Speaker 3: For Brook's worst nightmare, that's respectable.
Speaker 7: Brook.
Speaker 1: Yep, you also got to take it last second. Well,
Speaker 1: you can see that mountain.
Speaker 4: I didn't.
Speaker 1: That's right, Brian. You can up that positive attitude.
Speaker 3: Yo, Loo, you only lose once. All right, let's go
Speaker 3: over the answers for everybody here. Today's National Popcorn Day.
Speaker 3: The state that produces the most popcorn would be Nebraska.
Speaker 3: Two and fifty corn corn. That's a corn corn in Nebraska,
Speaker 3: then they pop it. The decade that the exclamation point
Speaker 3: became standard on the typewriters the nineteen seventies.
Speaker 1: Oh again, I wasn't alive during that decade, so I
Speaker 1: didn't know.
Speaker 3: Okay, Amazon River starts in Peru and empties into the
Speaker 3: Atlantic Ocean. The last name of the family in the
Speaker 3: TV show Family Guy is Griffin.
Speaker 1: I knew that.
Speaker 3: Do bear's poop while hibernating, No, they do not. They
Speaker 3: create a fecal plug to reabsorb the urine and the feces.
Speaker 3: I do that too, sometimes when.
Speaker 2: We're in studio.
Speaker 1: That is it. I can't use the most terrible thing
Speaker 1: to call it.
Speaker 3: And at over twelve thousand feet, Mount Fuji is the
Speaker 3: tallest point in all of Japan. So Brian, I'm sorry
Speaker 3: no cash today, but we're going to be black to
Speaker 3: play Windbrooks Bock same time tomorrow
Speaker 7: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.