Speaker 1: Agie Martinez in Real Life podcast.
Speaker 2: This episode and conversation is powered by I Do Say
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 1: Good friends?
Speaker 2: Hi everyone, Welcome to another episode of Aggie Martinez IRL Takeaways.
Speaker 2: These are the episodes where we discuss the other episodes.
Speaker 1: We discussed the interviews.
Speaker 2: That sounded crazy, yeah, but I swear there was purpose
Speaker 2: to these episodes because what happens is when I'm sitting
Speaker 2: in these interviews, really it's about the person, and I'm
Speaker 2: like locked into what they want to deliver. Then they
Speaker 2: drop their knowledge or they dropped their experience, so they
Speaker 2: dropped their insight and then we all after are like, yo, I.
Speaker 1: Was thinking about what they said. I was thinking about
Speaker 1: what he said or she said.
Speaker 2: So this is when we have the opportunity to reflect
Speaker 2: what we took away, our takeaways from the conversation and
Speaker 2: that we hope maybe you picked up on anyway. So
Speaker 2: that's what takeaway episodes are about. And this takeaway episode
Speaker 2: we are discussing Melissa Ford, which while people resonated with
Speaker 2: her huh yes. We always love when again comes vulnerable
Speaker 2: and open and ready to share.
Speaker 1: She came ready to share. Number one.
Speaker 2: We could start this whole episode here with what her
Speaker 2: takeaways are, because we asked her literally on set and
Speaker 2: I don't know how much insight you know about what
Speaker 2: had been going on with her as of recent and
Speaker 2: some of the noise around her, and we thought about
Speaker 2: bringing it up, but what she offered us was so
Speaker 2: much more important that at the end of the interview,
Speaker 2: it was just like, who cares about the daily headline
Speaker 2: of the day or whatever it is or whatever the
Speaker 2: thing is. And so then I sat with her after
Speaker 2: the episode and I was like, well, what did you think?
Speaker 1: What was your takeaway?
Speaker 2: And well, I didn't ask God that Brittany actually asked her,
Speaker 2: and this is what she said.
Speaker 3: My takeaway so far is that this was one of
Speaker 3: the most in depth, profound and thoughtful and caring interviews
Speaker 3: I've ever experienced where somebody actually delved deeper than I
Speaker 3: think any but he has ever gone into who I
Speaker 3: actually am.
Speaker 2: That is the nicest thing anybody could say after an interview,
Speaker 2: as somebody who sits on this side of the table
Speaker 2: when you interview people, that is how you want people
Speaker 2: to feel. And so the fact that she felt that
Speaker 2: way made me so happy, and it.
Speaker 4: Made everyone in the room feel good too, Like you know,
Speaker 4: we got all the crew people on set and where
Speaker 4: where as we're like, we get to view it the
Speaker 4: conversation for the first time, and it was just as
Speaker 4: impactful in the room as it was for.
Speaker 1: To watch it back.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, no, it was impactful in the moment. We all
Speaker 2: felt it. I felt it too. It was impactful for me.
Speaker 2: If you noticed this episode, there was not much for
Speaker 2: me to say, yeah, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 2: you look at some of the clips and it's just
Speaker 2: her talking. I'm barely I mean, I talked to her.
Speaker 2: Obviously we're connecting, but there wasn't much. Sometimes I have
Speaker 2: to lead a conversation, or sometimes I have to take
Speaker 2: some people somewhere or and then sometimes they just be yeah.
Speaker 2: But then sometimes being in my seat, it's important to
Speaker 2: like let something happen. Like I could have my idea, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is what I want to talk to Melissa Ford about.
Speaker 2: But then I sit in the chair and something else happens.
Speaker 2: It's my job to let it happen because otherwise I'll
Speaker 2: get in the way of something magical that could happen,
Speaker 2: or something that is important to somebody else, Like Melissa
Speaker 2: Ford came there with something that was important to her
Speaker 2: to say, and I could have easily interfered with that
Speaker 2: with too much interviewing, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 2: if there was heavy interviewing going on, I could have
Speaker 2: easily gotten in the way. And I'm so grateful that
Speaker 2: I did it, and I'm so grateful that she you
Speaker 2: know that I had the feeling to know, like, Okay,
Speaker 2: back up, let her go, she's saying great stuff. Let
Speaker 2: me just sit here and be in it with her.
Speaker 2: And yeah, she was so vulnerable, and to me, she
Speaker 2: felt so bottled up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like and I know.
Speaker 2: Exactly how she feels because after I had done some
Speaker 2: work on myself after my accident, I felt like, that's
Speaker 2: really what launched the podcast, is me wanting to share
Speaker 2: what I have figured out. And I could tell that
Speaker 2: she has done so much work on herself that she
Speaker 2: was bottled up with all this stuff that she wants
Speaker 2: to share, Like, hey, guys, you can get up after
Speaker 2: you want to commit suicide. Hey guys, you will survive
Speaker 2: after your parent passes and it knocks your ass on
Speaker 2: the floor and you're devastated, you can get up. And
Speaker 2: I think she was bottled up with this. I don't
Speaker 2: know with all of this stuff that she wanted to offer.
Speaker 2: And to me, that's the most beautiful thing about this
Speaker 2: podcast is when we genuinely have somebody that's willing to
Speaker 2: sit in that chair and given and it's an offering.
Speaker 2: It's like an offering of experience perspective, but with that
Speaker 2: intent not just to tell you to tell you, or
Speaker 2: to share to share, but it's actually to share with
Speaker 2: the intention of, like, yo, let me put you'all on
Speaker 2: because this could actually be good for somebody out there.
Speaker 2: And it was when we post a clip of her
Speaker 2: tool the way she breaks down losing a parent. I'm
Speaker 2: one of the lucky ones where my mom is still
Speaker 2: young and healthy and with me, thank god.
Speaker 1: But I felt her when she said this, and you know.
Speaker 2: I have had loss in my life, not a mother,
Speaker 2: so I related to this in a way. But also
Speaker 2: I think she when I could see the reaction from
Speaker 2: people who have lost their mother, the way they responded
Speaker 2: to her in the comments, this moment was really impactful.
Speaker 3: It's a terrible club to be a part of, but
Speaker 3: anybody who has lost their mom understands what it means
Speaker 3: to be a part of this club and know, and
Speaker 3: people who have not lost their mother don't understand until
Speaker 3: it happens to them. The insanity that you feel will you.
Speaker 1: Just won't get it.
Speaker 3: Your entire universe has been ripped to shreds. You are
Speaker 3: hurtling through time and space. It's literally like you are
Speaker 3: you know, you're untethered. You've lost your tether to the
Speaker 3: earth and you are just flying around and you're hoping
Speaker 3: somebody grabs the string and pulls you down.
Speaker 1: But that is like.
Speaker 3: That is that it doesn't happen. The grounding that happens
Speaker 3: takes years. It takes years.
Speaker 1: Oh that is deep, right, Tell people what that did
Speaker 1: to you? Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: So you know, the holidays just passed and my parents
Speaker 4: they live in Florida, but they had him to visit
Speaker 4: me for the first time. And like it's been like
Speaker 4: five years since I spent a Christmas with them, and
Speaker 4: they were with me for eight days. And I'm not
Speaker 4: a really like emotional outwardly emotional.
Speaker 1: She's like me, she's a Capricorn.
Speaker 4: I don't I'm not crying at the movies. I don't,
Speaker 4: like I'm real stoic in that way. But for some reason,
Speaker 4: after Melissa Ford came on the show I had. I
Speaker 4: was so appreciative of my parents, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: I couldn't bear with the thought of.
Speaker 1: Losing one of them at all.
Speaker 4: And when they when I dropped them off to the airport,
Speaker 4: as soon as they turned around to go past the
Speaker 4: sliding doors, I started bawling my face. My boyfriend was
Speaker 4: making so much fun of me, because Brittany, it's.
Speaker 1: So out of character and so muchy of her. But
Speaker 1: it's so great. It's so great. I was like, please,
Speaker 1: can you guys stay.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm telling my boyfriend I really want to
Speaker 4: live with them now. I want them to move.
Speaker 1: In with me.
Speaker 4: I can't spend any more time apart from my parents.
Speaker 4: But that's the effect Melissa had, like I couldn't stand
Speaker 4: what it feels like to live with the possibility of regret,
Speaker 4: feeling like you could have improved your relationship with the
Speaker 4: people who brought you into this world.
Speaker 1: That's pretty great.
Speaker 2: I love when she said that if you do have
Speaker 2: your parents and you're lucky enough, you know, get to
Speaker 2: know them in a different way, not just this image
Speaker 2: of them. Who wish parents should be to you, but
Speaker 2: who are they as human beings aside from you, take
Speaker 2: you out of the equation who is your mother, who
Speaker 2: is your father, and really spending time to get to
Speaker 2: know them and ask them questions, basically cherish them while
Speaker 2: they're here and get to know them as best as
Speaker 2: you can, with the understanding that they won't be here forever.
Speaker 2: It's not even the you know they might not be
Speaker 2: here forever, they won't be here forever. It's like it's
Speaker 2: a guarantee. I know we hate to hear that, but
Speaker 2: it's really the truth. So so that that was great.
Speaker 2: I love that takeaway the stuff about her parents and
Speaker 2: also the guilt that she has. Her and her mom
Speaker 2: were not on good terms when her mom passed, and
Speaker 2: that's a lot of guilt to hold on to.
Speaker 4: What really shocked me about that story, too, was that
Speaker 4: was the first time I heard about made. I didn't
Speaker 4: know that Canada had the medical assistance death, Yes, dying
Speaker 4: in Canada, that you can if you're if you have
Speaker 4: a severe illness that way, or if you just feel
Speaker 4: like you actually can't go on that there's a lengthy
Speaker 4: process you can decide to end your life, and your
Speaker 4: life legally end your life and there there's a couple
Speaker 4: of states in America.
Speaker 1: Yes, I wanted to die and this you know this too?
Speaker 1: To me? This you know this, This is euthanasia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: ethan asias is, but I didn't know that was legal
Speaker 1: in the US.
Speaker 4: There Oregon, Washington, Montana, Vermont, California, Colorado, Washington, Hawaii, Main
Speaker 4: New Mexico, and New Jersey.
Speaker 2: It can't just be like I'm tired of living. No,
Speaker 2: I don't want it. It's like a lengthy like well,
Speaker 2: remember when Melissa said in the interview.
Speaker 4: She was saying she goes at the beginning, ten people
Speaker 4: might sign up, and by the end of the process,
Speaker 4: the interview process, two people might actually go with it.
Speaker 4: She said that those that the people are always women.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because the men get scared. They're like, never mind,
Speaker 2: we'll let you deduce that. Per That's kind of what
Speaker 2: she No, I think she said it. I think she
Speaker 2: said it pretty clear. No meaning the public. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: That was interesting. There was a lot from our conversation
Speaker 2: that I can take away from. First of all, her
Speaker 2: saying that she had an experience in the nineties and
Speaker 2: those video sets and how women were treated and some
Speaker 2: of her experiences, and then she says that she did
Speaker 2: have an experience that she never wants to come forward
Speaker 2: with because she doesn't have the capacity to do that.
Speaker 2: I respect that so much that she could admit that,
Speaker 2: because you know, it's really hard right now, the way
Speaker 2: the world is set up, the way social media is
Speaker 2: set up, the way that the whole world can have
Speaker 2: an opinion about anything public that you do. It's just
Speaker 2: subject to opinion, and opinion is that the most it's
Speaker 2: at the grossest, most negative. I don't know place that
Speaker 2: I can remember ever seeing it. So imagine having to
Speaker 2: say something that's so vulnerable and scary and intimate and
Speaker 2: then having the whole world have an opinion about it.
Speaker 2: That is scary for somebody to admit that you should
Speaker 2: play that clip.
Speaker 3: Every experience that I've had has not been on the
Speaker 3: up and up, you know, and they've been with There's
Speaker 3: one that I can think of in particular. I don't
Speaker 3: have the band with the strength to deal with the
Speaker 3: onslought of what I have seen victims go through, to
Speaker 3: put myself in that position. That is why I tip
Speaker 3: my hat to them.
Speaker 2: I've never heard anybody admit that or say that out loud.
Speaker 1: You know, well, I'm.
Speaker 3: I'm very brave these days, and I give myself a
Speaker 3: lot of credit for being brave to say things that
Speaker 3: people think to themselves but would never ever utter the words.
Speaker 3: You know, and I have said this to people, you
Speaker 3: know that there's been experiences that I probably could have
Speaker 3: filed suit on, but I'm probably never I'm never going
Speaker 3: to do it because I can't deal with the repercussions
Speaker 3: of it. I can't and I won't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was interesting to me. That was heavy, but
Speaker 2: I felt her man, and I'm sure there's a lot
Speaker 2: of women that felt that. And it also we should
Speaker 2: take a moment when you hear a clip like that
Speaker 2: to remind yourself how amazing it is and how we
Speaker 2: should be supparding people who do stand up and do
Speaker 2: share their stories for the reasons of, you know, not
Speaker 2: letting it happen to someone else.
Speaker 4: And I commend her for being honest in that way,
Speaker 4: because it after me too, you know, has is at
Speaker 4: the height that it is.
Speaker 1: It's like, if.
Speaker 4: You have a story, it's your duty to share it,
Speaker 4: and no one really talks about the other side of
Speaker 4: like what the actual burden that that comes with.
Speaker 2: The heavy burden, especially if you're somebody like Melissa who's
Speaker 2: been through so much already.
Speaker 1: She's tired.
Speaker 2: Poor baby, she just trying to get through today. You
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, She's like, I don't have it
Speaker 2: to give right now. I totally got it. I understood anyway.
Speaker 2: She was amazing in so many ways. Definitely an interview
Speaker 2: that you do not want to miss. I was happy
Speaker 2: to end the interview on that note, because that's what
Speaker 2: this podcast is. It's like, it is a place that
Speaker 2: we hope that people have an offering and that you
Speaker 2: take something away from it. And by the responses and
Speaker 2: some of the reaction, I do feel a lot of
Speaker 2: people had some great takeaways from this episode. Was there
Speaker 2: anything else?
Speaker 4: I really when you decided, Hey, Bird, I want to
Speaker 4: talk to Melissa Ford, I was really excited because I
Speaker 4: only knew what other people knew about her with that
Speaker 4: she was this video og, video vixen model, and of
Speaker 4: course there is a slew of negative common connotations that
Speaker 4: comes with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was really.
Speaker 2: It was I remember YouTube. You were like, really, it
Speaker 2: wasn't negative. You were just like and I was like,
Speaker 2: I really, I want to interview this person. I want
Speaker 2: to interview that person and I want to figure out
Speaker 2: a day from Melissa Ford. You were like, oh, like
Speaker 2: you looked surprised, and I was like, no, she has
Speaker 2: she yeah why not?
Speaker 1: Yeah. It wasn't like you were saying in a negatway.
Speaker 1: It was just there was an element of surprise.
Speaker 4: I always I'm always trying to figure out, Okay, what's
Speaker 4: the what's the takeaway from this person?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 4: And I just, like many of you maybe didn't know
Speaker 4: anything more about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was more like that, like I
Speaker 2: don't know anything about her, so why her?
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 2: Why her something bad about her? But why I don't
Speaker 2: know anything about her? And it's true. She is on
Speaker 2: a podcast. I mean, Joe Button's podcast is a super
Speaker 2: duper popular.
Speaker 1: It's cute too.
Speaker 2: Shout out to all the Joe Button followers because I
Speaker 2: could see in the comments they all call her big mail.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I could see how many.
Speaker 2: Joe Button followers were in the comments because everybody was like, oh,
Speaker 2: big mel this was amazing.
Speaker 1: They kept calling her big mail. I guess from the pod.
Speaker 2: But she does have a platform where she does share
Speaker 2: some things, but it's a different conversation that she has
Speaker 2: on that. It's like me on the radio. It's a
Speaker 2: different conversation. It's just a different platform for a different conversation.
Speaker 2: So I think she hasn't had a platform like this
Speaker 2: where people got to know this other side of her.
Speaker 2: And I really want to be careful because I don't
Speaker 2: want this to sound like we thought low of her.
Speaker 1: Never.
Speaker 2: We just didn't know any of the stuff that she
Speaker 2: was going through. It was like double fold of like
Speaker 2: she had some jewels to drop, but also we didn't
Speaker 2: know any of this at the same time, and.
Speaker 1: She handles it all so gracefully that.
Speaker 2: Even if you do cross paths with her, or you
Speaker 2: did see her on the Joe Buden podcast or on
Speaker 2: some show or whatever, you didn't get that she was
Speaker 2: in the throes of that darkness.
Speaker 1: She's a nice human and she's a great heel. It's
Speaker 1: such a sweet lady. Yeah, she really Oh.
Speaker 4: She talked more after this. I was like, so, how
Speaker 4: do we take more Melissa Ford content?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she definitely needs to. I love that for her too,
Speaker 2: because I love that people got to see her in
Speaker 2: this way. I think people will look for that for
Speaker 2: her from her moving forward more. Yeah, so so good.
Speaker 1: We love anyway. But the moral of the story is.
Speaker 1: We love you, Melissa Ford. You are a warrior.
Speaker 2: You shared your story so beautifully that I was grateful,
Speaker 2: My audience was grateful. And I think you were going
Speaker 2: to feel the karma of that coming back to you.
Speaker 2: I think that energy that you put out, I hope
Speaker 2: that it comes back to you in so many one
Speaker 2: hundredfold and people put their arms around you. And also,
Speaker 2: you know, you might have saved somebody's life, changed somebody's life.
Speaker 2: I believe that type of conversation that we had does
Speaker 2: have the power to change a life, help a life, whatever,
Speaker 2: just lift somebody up. So well done to her, and
Speaker 2: thank you for choosing my platform. You know. If you
Speaker 2: By the way, if you guys haven't watched the episode,
Speaker 2: I don't know why, but you can go to the
Speaker 2: YouTube page Edge Martinez IRL. Make sure you subscribe to
Speaker 2: so that you get alerts because we will have new
Speaker 2: episodes dropping soon and yeah, and you could listen to
Speaker 2: it if you prefer to listen instead of watch. You
Speaker 2: can listen to it here. Just click the link that
Speaker 2: has the Melissa Ford interview versus the takeaway. So thank
Speaker 2: you guys, don't forget to subscribe. Have a great rest,
Speaker 2: of the day and we'll catch you on the next one.